Go ahead and count my fucks

Big bro is threatening me again πŸ›‘βœ‹πŸ›‘

He thinks he can impose his tiny penis and penalize me and remove content when I’m not even posting πŸ™„

I’ve already deleted years and years worth of content from my Facebook and I didn’t save any of it πŸ—‘

Does he think I give a fuck now if he takes my Instagram access from me? πŸ€”

I deleted my email account that was decades old

It had intellectual property and emails from the dead and the ghosted

I’m homicidal and I’m suicidal

I haven’t even been active on Instagram

And yet random a penalty πŸ™„

I reckon I let somebody in who is now reporting content, it’s not hard to figure shit out

It’s just I don’t care

I loathe social media

TV causes mental health issues

I was already born depressed, I fucking hated being in the womb πŸ‘€

However, just a few hours ago I received notification from WordPress that my blog was blowing up again so despite my inactivity (because I’m fucking dying behind the scenes) people are still accessing my poetry and photography

I do care

People need me despite me dying and despite my enemies reporting everything

Well I’m not going anywhere

And I’m looking into a laptop as well as a new microphone –

To do some spoken word and shitty TikTok videos that the algorithm may or may not let you see (if you even choose to watch)

But a laptop means I can be more mobile and seeing as I don’t have a fucking computer anymore and my tablet is from like 400 years ago and nonexistent, I’m getting a laptop

Nothing expensive or fancy

But I’m still a writer whether you choose to acknowledge or support my profession or not

Yes I am a self-proclaimed poet

That doesn’t make me any less of a writer than that crappy rap you listen to that uses the same beats and rhymes over n’ over

No I don’t have any fucking awards or any certifications as a writer (unless you count the loads and loads of certifications I have as a businesswoman, as a medic, or my college degree which required a shit ton of writing to even acquire and I was only a few classes away from having earned my second degree, an Associates of Arts (AA) in creative writing)

I have a blog that’s nearing 100,000 views πŸ‘€

I have patrons, subs, and donators

Some followers appreciate my activity and even less when I’m inactive

It’s not like I didn’t allow the entire world to gaslight me into getting vaccinated which nearly fucking killed me because the CDC decided to leave out pertinent information about the harmful side effects that these vaccines can and do cause (long term too)

I’m getting ready to dye my hair with this foam dye that I’ve never tried before and I’m going with a darker brown instead of a black because my hair is actually more of a light brown and I’m going to slowly convert it back to its natural color and then I will use natural pigments to give it some red highlights

I’m also going to wax my lip and kind of pluck my eyebrows a little bit and paint my toenails and re-glue on my stiletto nails (I had some doctors appointments I had to get out of the way)

I’ve been dying

How’s that for a god damn throne

You don’t know what kind of forces are trying to kill me, on top of the fact I’m clumsy and can be gaslit into the most stupid fucking choices and wind up upside down unable to breathe

And even when I’m not even posting and haven’t posted in probably fucking weeks big bro is still out there goddamn messing with my mental health

I ain’t joining the Meta

Oh hell no

But I do need a good working laptop with some Wi-Fi πŸ‘€

And guess what, I’ve just bought! πŸ‘‡ πŸ₯°

I hope it’s a good one, I spent many days and hours searching online and physical locations

I especially like that this one came with a one-year warranty (instead of 90 days), it also said it had been tested and in “great working condition” πŸ‘‡

I was a bit weary about spending that much on a laptop when I could buy a brand new one for that (but not an Apple) and especially if it could be dead in four or five months and then I would be out that big chunk of money because all the other sales included 90 days only and were only “good” quality or A or C quality.

This refurbished laptop came with a one-year warranty and I was able to also buy a three-year warranty from Walmart so that gives me at least four years to have this laptop and it can be replaced if something goes wrong

I feel like I bought a little bit of sense of security and I probably didn’t need a three-year warranty but hey (that included parts or replacement)

I’m likely getting a Blue yeti mic and headphone set too

But I already have a microphone and an amp (but my current mic is not USB) so I just need to make sure it’s not an impulse purchase but I really would like to do poetry and ASMR and maybe both together because I think I found my calling

We’ll see how it goes

My bedroom is my tomb

I just want a calming and peaceful spot

And TikTok did give me three minutes on my videos now so I definitely am going to push out three minutes worth of me just doing soft readings and stuff of my poetry and I’d really like to focus on my own content and not read other peoples work

I may even invest in video editing software to help me make my TikTok videos more interesting and less boring but please note I don’t want to make content that is going to give you (more) ADHD

I did go to the Spirit Halloween store for their big 50% off sale and I did invest in some cosplay materials πŸ€ͺ

I got a new headdress and some stockings, a cat choker & claws to go with the rest of my cat cosplay outfit, some matching velvet gloves to go with my vampire cape and a matching velvet headband too!

Plus, a black lace umbrella for the dead cosplay!!! (Not shown) 😎

I was not feeling Halloween at all

But that’s OK because every day is Halloween for me πŸ€ͺ

So I just wanted you to know that even though I’m laying in my bed dying, every now and then I get out and get some things in the hopes that I may get to return to life one day

Or at least as a zombie

But I’ve been begging daddy to at least come put me out of my misery before I turn πŸ§Ÿβ€β™€οΈ

So I gotta go, because I’m getting ready to dye my hair and I need to glue these stiletto nails back on πŸ‘‡

More on my OF 😘

I haven’t had a chance to have fun with them yet πŸŽƒ

And I have somebody telling me I’m worth the admission price just to talk 🀨

I told them you don’t have to pay to talk to me but I appreciate the vote of confidence and it’s keeping me off the fucking street

So I’d rather take some pictures of me naked in my bedroom instead of y’all seeing me naked dead on the street

K, thanks, bye

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