I don’t wanna die…

Mostly freaking out about dying

Bargaining with the source goes like, “but I don’t wanna die, but I don’t wanna die”

Because being born hurt as well as living

I don’t want to be conscious or aware that I’m dying or in a lot of pain or dying in an incredible amount of fear or pain or pissing and shitting and throwing up all over myself and sweating and being cold at the same time because your body can’t fucking regulate it’s skin anymore

You’ll be sweating and freezing at the same time

Your biochemistry disrupts

I don’t want people watching me climb the mountain of death because it’s fucking humiliating and painful

And humans are meant to live for a very very long time but not with how we are consuming cancer

Our DNA has been corrupted and tampered with for eons

These crazy scientist and politicians are ruining our only planet

I don’t wanna go out in any pain or any fear

And make no mistake, you will shit yourself

But if you live long enough to feel your organs start shutting down one at a time, it is fucking painful

I’m not doing earth again

I better learn what I came here to learn because I’m not doing this shit again

I don’t wanna die like John Jones or that 14-year-old girl who just burned up alive in that Miami building that just fell down & the firefighters just wouldn’t get to them because they’re not brave enough these people, they just don’t make them like they used to, none of these rescuers are fucking heroes, but boy we sure treat them like they are don’t we 👀

I accidentally got hyperthermic the other day because of my cold sensitivity

My body was freaking out

My hands were three different colors and I really couldn’t move my fingers yet, the blood wasn’t really flowing into them yet but my forehead and the rest of my body was sweating and I had to toss myself back out into the 40° weather to rip my clothes off because I was actually overheating yet my hands were freezing

I stopped shaking even tho my hands were frozen solid

And it was probably even colder by the ocean with the wind blasting on me because I’m a fucking idiot

I had to pull over halfway home because my body wasn’t working right

I was just like calm down we’re okay now

The threat is gone

I already have heart and lung issues so I don’t need to go outside if the temp is under 60

Lesson learned

I lasted 22 minutes in 40 degrees

Once you have a cold sensitivity (it’s kind of like having a heat sensitivity) you’re more prone to the environment and the elements taking you out

Anyhoo

I came home, took a hot bath, drank hot cocoa, and passed the fuck out

Bedrest 😑

*stares at crack in ceiling*

*panics*

I don’t wanna die 😩

I don’t want a violent ending

Suicide seems like suicide

But I’d have some terrible consequence

😵‍💫

*sleep plus natural vitamin D and water*

Sunshine for the vampy (in moderation and small doses)

It’s what the source prescribed

All of us

Stop putting poison into your body

Baby steps

It’s okay to crawl

Take rest breaks

Turn off the news, it’s only propaganda

Journalism also propaganda

TV propaganda

We’re in a communistic state

I’m sorry 😑

I failed as a Soldier 😑

I’ve been asleep 😑

The source wants us to win

Don’t feel shame

All animals are sentiment beings

All things feel hunger, fear, and pain

All things want shelter from the environment

It’s basic survival 101

But imagine how much more powerful humans would be if we worked in unison together like the bees or the ants do

Instead we allow them to segregate us because they don’t want to be hunters or gatherers

I love you

6 thoughts on “I don’t wanna die…

Add yours

  1. He existed. He didn’t walk on water. He was against the establishment. He was crucified for it. He’s connected to the source. But he had bones and he died.

    Wouldn’t mind carrying his bones in my pack with John. 💪

    But as far as the Bible goes, not into it. Indoctrination. It’s a cult.

    I still find myself wandering into the church yard and getting angry.

    Too woke. Might find me upturning the money trays and screaming, “why is this money in my house”, “pick up a rock and I am there”, “you are not of this world” but ehhh I’ve already been penalized, punished, and shadowbanned on all platforms because we are under siege and it takes constant indoctrination by the CDC, NASA, Big Brother, Hollywood, and politicians to keep this circle fest going.

    People out there willing to kill for NASA and God.

    That’s a goT damn cult 👀

    The Bible is a pyramid scheme for your money

    And NASA and religion need to sell you on time for any of this to work.

    Notice how they always both start with time, “in the beginning of time”, “3 billion light years away”, listen time doesn’t exist and this isn’t what God / Jesus Christ wants for you.

    Jesus doesn’t want y’all stuffing your head full on meaningless sex (porn) and junk food or junk tunes.

    You’re down here on how to learn a spiritual journey and to get back to the source and the devils gonna do everything he can to keep you disconnected.

    When you make positive, uplifting choices, you are connecting to the source.

    If you want to get to Heaven, or ascend with 5d new earth, it’s not gonna be through your favorite porn actress I can tell you that.

    It’s not gonna be eating Doritos and watching horror movies.

    I’m not saying give it all up.

    But you ain’t gonna find the source in your body, which is your home for the source, if you continually make choices that keep you from the source.

    The source is like electricity, people may think it only strikes one way, but in reality, a charge also comes from mother earth and they connect from the sky

    Because we are in a simulation and if you look around and start paying attention you too will see the signs and this is a big game but that doesn’t mean our experience isn’t real or that we don’t have consequences for our choices.

    Everything is electrical. Everything. Even the sun. And I know y’all are gonna argue with me blah blah blah but water actually exist in four states including a plasma. When water cools, it becomes a liquid. The earth is mostly liquid, your body is mostly liquid, the source is the sun.

    But it’s also the moon and you and me and all the little creatures running around including those gnats that we like to push away because they’re hungry and need food.

    I’m turning into Noah. For awhile I was Moses wandering the desert lost.

    I’ve also found that most things like my energy (most of them) but the devils out there like to drain me of my energy which is why I try to stay away from people because most people are demons and I literally see demons and monsters everywhere because I’ve completely snapped. 👀

    And because porn has completely brain rotted most of mankind, I am in constant threat of man (I’ve armed and will shoot your dick off before I aim for your head and I’m very skilled and an efficient warrior/trained killer and won’t have any issues going all Loreena Bobbitt on you (and there won’t be a dick for you to sew back on and then get into porn – to any who attempt to grab or hurt me)

    It’s terrible how we allow the treatment of humanity.

    Do you know what your precious Bible has done to women specifically?

    Torturing those who were awake by burning us alive, strapping rocks to our ankles and drowning us, women are still STONED TO DEATH in the Middle East.

    Do you know what else your precious Bible teaches, that the oceans and the animals are in abundance because it’s fucking narcissism and all of this is simply because the 13 families in charge that don’t want to be hunters or gatherers cause they’re Narcissist demons and they’re lazy and I need y’all to wake up now because we are under mass hypnosis and this is living hell.

    America is a scam. It’s not even our country anymore. All my comrades keep dropping dead by suicide and it’s all I think about.

    I have a lot of disbelief going on in my life right now because I just learned that NASA rehearsed the moon landings and actually lost evidence of how we went. 🙄

    They also blew up a bomb in space and made the radiation V Allen belt way worse than they ever intended.

    NASA isn’t studying “the effects of space on astronauts” because the astronauts aren’t actually in space are they, they’re free falling earths gravity….

    Also, NASA state images are “CGI & artist rendered”.

    The Bible gets people to commit murder and atrocities every day and so does porn just the same as Charles Manson did.

    It’s a cult. It’s indoctrination. It’s ruined my life.

    Jesus my spirit daddy 🤩

    Jesus always said he was connected to something else out there, didn’t he

    Same 👀

    Like

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