He cast over my life a fog
Thick-like grog
No written dialogue
No messages in analog
Now my hate is catalogued
© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal
Fog
Lists
Depression worry not
Just divide your time into slots
Write a list of don’ts
Match it with the won’ts
Give the list a plot
Tie it in a knot
Care not where I rot
Then again on second thought
Gotta find that perfect spot
And then maybe it’s worth a shot
I’m a zombie: life and death is a constant postpone
It takes all of my energy just to sit here and moan
© Delia Ross. 2019
Oh my fucking gawdddddd, how many times have you heard, “just make a list” when you are depressed? I’m going to make a list alright and shove it up their fucking ass. I can’t even make a list on how to die. My will is not up to date. I can’t even fucking decide on a way. Or a place. And then, the dog… BUT I digress, somehow, if I just start making lists on things to be done (with dying number one) then my life would be in order, and if I just let God in I wouldn’t be depressed either, so says society. But if I tell my doctors that I want to fucking kill myself, they’ll take everything from me and lock me up in a fucking rubber room. Barbaric are the practices for treating depression. So, since no one can get it fucking right, y’all get to sit back and judge me from behind your screens, and some of you will even poke and prod me and then when I bite you call me crazy and you disappear. And since society has a hard time understanding that being depressed is not the same as being fucking crazy, the death toll continues to rise and I’m trying my hardest to jump on that fucking bandwagon. But, I’m too lazy too sick to even write a list of things to get done. And I don’t think I really want to die, I just want a friend cuz isolation is cold and dark and it’s kinda scary in here and fuck you for not forgiving me for biting you when you caused me to bite in the first place. Shame on you.
- Get house in order
- Godparents for pets?
- Update will
- Say goodbyes
- Write letters
- Pick outfit
- Method of dying?
- Location?
- Famous last words
Dirt
Got his hand on my throat with every word
Got his squeeze on my pump with every hurt
Got his eye on the prize if ever I’m sure
And with the right ingredients just maybe a cure
Got his hand on the ready to offer comfort
Got my mind on the question though maybe he answered
She’s got her nose in the air as if she’s the expert
And she cries for his heart like a rich man now beggared
Got his tongue on the bottle so maybe it slurred
And my outrage is written though normally censored
But he claims that he loves me and I’m certain she heard
And so I do my best to not blind her with dirt
© Delia Ross. 2019
Chess
He moves me around like pieces of a chess board
A game he fully intends to win
He uses me like a pawn in a game of life
And he knows I will never quit
With his pen and with his will he continues to record
Every single squinch I make because he likes it when I sin
And deeper in he puts the knife
For I can never match his wit
For months his darkness I explored
I still feel him deep within
Many times I dropped the strife
And he still would not submit
I turn to rage when I’m ignored
Do you think it makes him grin?
I ask him not to be his wife
Just a friend I can commit
© Delia Ross. 2019
Fog
Here comes the dark
Creeping like a serpent
Like a thick, dark fog
It twists as a vine in my heart
She trades sex for love
He follows the current
Laps it like a dog
Ignoring my love above
She visits his dock
Sees behind the curtain
And I a slave or dove
Without a tongue to talk
Here, there, everywhere
She is lurking
Like a black smog
And I an angel without prayer
Eyes that burn with what it sees
Hands that never stop yearning
Tongues reciting the wrong epilogue
One soul left crying on her knees
© Delia Ross. 2019
Night Riding (Lyrics)
I need a lover not an enemy
Someone to go night riding with me
I feel another storm rising
We’ve wasted too much time deciding
I know where this road goes
I know where this storm blows
I know where this road goes
I know where this storm blows
The radio advises staying in
But who are they advising?
All these years we stayed hiding
There’s no other reason presiding
I know where this road goes
I know where this storm blows
I know where this road goes
I know where this storm blows
Sat in a corner despising
Why are you backsliding
Right now the Moon is rising
Our plans won’t need much revising
I want to go with you night riding
Stop wasting time deciding
Let’s go while the wind is subsiding
I want to go with you night riding
© Delia Ross. 2019
PoeEternal 