Hello Farewell

Fairytale or nightmare
Heaven or hell
Common man or devil
This time I can’t tell

Leisure or battle
Sickly not well
Poison or apple
To leave or to dwell

Whole or a sample
Free or for sale
Space or a shackle
Real or a spell

So many I tackle
His shit I can smell
Tongues full of babble
Be quiet or yell

Fist or a grapple
Satin or shell
To flee or to straddle
Correct or misspell

Stand still now or paddle
The boat took a swell
Clear thoughts or to channel
Hello or farewell

© Delia Ross. 2019

Dropped spoken word of this on my Tuners account 👍

If you like my writing, please consider subscribing to my new Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Listen to me free on my radio channel at Tuners Radiohere: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL


Love Story

It’s a love story from the dead to the dead
Rotating cyclones of he said, she said
It isn’t what I meant here’s what I mean instead
Constantly sending each other gifts of dread
You wanted to be heard, now your face is turning red

But I’m sorry, you’re sorry, it’s all we ever had
Now we’re feeling worse, we are always feeling bad
Our circles quickly dropping unless we stopped trying to add
Try to greet you all and you respond like you are mad
I’m certain all I wanted was for us feeling a tad less sad

Actions and words never meeting in the middle
And every single wound leaves us all so very brittle
Consequences come at you hard to read like a riddle
But everyone thinks they know how to love just a little
You swear it isn’t you but here it comes another missile

I know we’re all in hell it doesn’t take a degree
You’re always on the run, you barely ever take a knee
I know I’m paranoid the devil’s always after me
Blinding us with hate or lust I can’t convince you all to see
I’m just curious if any of you really do feel free

You build these walls and cages but who do they protect
You haven’t convinced me that your life is so perfect
I wonder if any of you clearly understand yet
It’s doubtful though so I’m passing on this bet
I’ll try again and maybe this time I will be more direct

Okay another verse, perhaps a message you can understand
None of this can work if we don’t give a helping hand
I live here, you live there, we all share this land
Love is not something to hoard, set it free unmanned
Love it knows the way so let it lead our command

© Delia Ross. 2019

Love Story poetry slam now available to listen free here: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

If you like my writing, please consider subscribing to my new Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Listen to me free on my radio channel at Tuners Radiohere: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

America equals generica; thank you globalism & slavery

“It’s called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it” George Carlin

I love (sarcasm) how all these jobs are starting to offer tuition as incentive to go back to work yet the hiring freezes have kept those with college degrees out of work for quite some time

Also, programs out there are hiring immigrants directly after college instead of citizens born here and fresh out of college

They also give immigrants incentives for majoring in certain studies like math, tech, and science 👀

Over 160,000 newly graduated American students wasn’t able to get a job but those immigrants could and did 👀

I tell no lies and have been sharing news articles on my blog frequently that you should take time to read 💪

It goes over all this better than I do

America is great for anybody who isn’t an actual American

I realize some of y’all are in some nice financial bubbles but you really need to take a look at what’s going on in America to Americans who have been living here their entire life and they are worked to death until they die without any benefits from these jobs or corporations, no health benefits, no health insurance, not even proper work breaks

No way to even save a penny or dime because many of us are forced to rent and they control the housing market prices and have inflated it

It’s hard for families to even buy a home and it’s even harder for single people to live in America

Most of us are checking out

Most of us no longer have the will or the energy to work for these businesses without any incentives or pay raises and if their incentive is to give you $500 sign on bonus and to pay for your tuition, it’s fucking bullshit because you’re just gonna turn around and deal with hiring freezes like the rest of the population who actually have a college degree already and experience and student loans we’re paying for 👀

I was five years away from retiring before they started doing all the government hiring freezes 👀

The Recession has gone on longer than The Great Depression 👀

Our veterans (me included) are treated like shit

They also come after our pensions

Lots of folks who do retire have to continue working just to pay the bills 👀

Laws are being made to benefit non Americans 👀

Globalism is ruining everything 👀

And other countries know how to skate between the tariffs

America equals generica

If you don’t understand what that means you need to start googling and educating yourself about the economy because if you were born here life probably isn’t very good for you right now but if you’re an immigrant or you have a green card or something you’re probably doing all right 👀

Stay woke

Can we start making laws to protect Americans? 👀

I mean buildings are falling down in Miami but boy they’re rich now and they know they don’t have to do anything about anything because the insurance will take care of it

The game is rigged 👀

Invasion of our privacy pt 2

They’re literally reading our private emails for suggestive selling – so they can PUSH advertising out to manipulate you to SPEND YOUR MONEY because taking your money is ALL they care about! You’re just a dollar sign!!

This is from Yahoo’s “How we use your data” policy

And analyzing our photos and private messages uggggg

They sell it to third parties

Is this why Spectrum harasses my mailbox daily to use their services? I will go offline before I ever submit. I’ve opted out of Spectrum but they still spam my mailbox.

So do the “your extended warranty is about to expire”

FYI, I turned Siri off.

I prefer my privacy over mind control.

I don’t need people telling me what to buy 24 hours a day of my life


Please give the post a like if this has helped you get some of your privacy back!

Spread the word!

I’m not missing out on life by saying no to tracking

You’re giving the bogeyman permission to track you and you don’t know how honest these trackers are!!!!

Stay woke!!!

Yahoo is selling your personal information

Yahoo has a bunch of advertisement settings including this “sale my personal information” that was selected to yes without my permission

I never authorized this when I first started using Yahoo but they snuck in a lot of updates that you need to go check out. This was automatically selected as “yes” until I just discovered it and turned it off.

I don’t believe companies or apps should be allowed to choose yes for you when they include an update…

Most advertising is spam and just a way to control you.

Stay woke and turn off your advert settings everywhere! They are spying on you!!!! You don’t need adverts telling you what to buy!!! Wake up!!!!

Tell your friends!!

There are a bunch of settings regarding your privacy and advertising!!

Turn it off!!!


Are you a vast void?
Or a continent overjoyed?
Are you an asteroid?
On a path of love destroyed?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Ready for my mysterious death

Might still get it with this clot lurking in my heart and a left lung not fully inflating

Explains why it hurts to breathe 😑

However, new fear unlocked: Aneurysms

Thanks for checking out my new TikTok! I really want to make more spoken word videos and I can record for 3 minutes now!

Been digging through poetry I’ve written in the last few years, just gonna start dropping them with or without views

I’m dying and my heart can give in any minute 😑

And I no longer have a levee for support

They’re all gone 😑

Article: Chinese Immigrants in the United States | migrationpolicy.org

ARTICLE: Nearly 2.5 million Chinese immigrants lived in the United States in 2018—the third largest foreign-born population in the country. Chinese immigration has grown nearly seven-fold since 1980, and China became the top sending country of immigrants in the United States in 2018, replacing Mexico. Chinese immigrants tend to be highly educated and employed in management positions, as this Spotlight article explores.
— Read on www.migrationpolicy.org/article/chinese-immigrants-united-states-2018

Are there any Americans living in America or should we just rename it Asia?

Asking for a friend

China’s three-child policy: Too little too late? | TV Shows | Al Jazeera

Sustaining economic growth means boosting birthrates, but young people say ‘no thanks’ to more kids.
— Read on www.aljazeera.com/program/the-stream/2021/6/10/chinas-three-child-policy-too-little-too-late

Murdering baby girls because they favored boys 👀

And now there’s a giant gender gap with too many men 👀

I don’t like the world we live in 👀


Four Situations in Which Aliens Are Treated Better than Citizens

Other than in voting and jury duty, our government routinely treats aliens as equal to citizens; both are guaranteed fair trials and freedom of speech, for instance, and that’s appropriate.
— Read on cis.org/North/Four-Situations-Which-Aliens-Are-Treated-Better-Citizens

Only 4% of India has been vaccinated 👀

Still can’t get past the fact that only 4% of India has been vaccinated 👀



Stop the vaccine fearmongering in the US

India Is the number one manufacturer of vaccines and yet their government under ordered vaccines five days before their vaccine drive

Thus, after all this pandemic time, only 4% of India has been vaccinated

That’s a huge red flag

India is making so much money off of sick people aren’t they

And off of pushing the vaccines on everyone else

Over 2.7 million live here in the US –


I’ve worked for a few Indian owners here in the US and they worked us just like slaves, they paid us the least and worked us the most – but just not enough hours to get the work benefits like insurance and things

Globalism has ruined America

I mean the American dream is great for anyone who isn’t an actual American


Thanks for 500 views on my new TikTok!


There’s never a dull day here in Florida! Thanks for watching my new TikTok! It already has over 500 views in just 17 hours!!! Cool!! 😎

Over 500 views in 17 hours! 👀

It also got some love!! ❤️

Thank you!

Obsession 2.0

So about those 3 guys I’m stalking; one of them stopped liking content of another that wounded me like a sword

It’s like he went and unliked everything

Is it because he knows I know or because it hurts me?

These are the big questions in life that need answers 👀

And, I thought they were all one dude but they’re not – so if he isn’t who I thought – why does it hurt me? 👀

What the fuck is wrong with me? 👀

There’s nothing malicious in my spying – unless you count the wounded crying I get in return for opening Pandora’s box

The blocking and unblocking that I do

The follow/unfollow

Messages or comments sent but then retracted

Embarrassing emails I oft write in a mental haze not of myself

I need an exorcism 👀

I’m living Edgar Allan Poe’s life 👀

I’ve lost my mind and nearly died from a mysterious death 👀

OMGGGGGG “Swatting” 👀


Never knew people were being harassed over Twitter handles – so the handle could be sold. And, reporting false crimes to further your agenda and somebody dies and the criminal gets a slap on the hand. This isn’t even right… the law is designed to protect the criminal.

Wake up!!! Wake up!!!!

My doc just called! Heart and lung damaged from Moderna vaccines! FYI: I’m still down

My doc just called and she told me that there is some fluid in the sac of my heart and she said it could be from the virus or something else (perhaps a blood clot) but she also said my lung looks like it’s having a hard time expanding on the left side and I told her I was having difficulty breathing and she is still waiting the results back for some tests but my heart and my lung is damaged

We haven’t discussed surgery yet but I imagine it’s a possibility if they need to remove the fluid buildup in my heart

But I have hope now because I’ve had a change in the intensity of the pain levels but I’m not in the clear yet and I’ve got this heart monitor strapped on me until July 29!

I also told my doctor that I didn’t really want to get the stress tests but that I would likely do the exercise one but I don’t know that I want to do the one where they pump you full of chemicals because I’m already in this mess because they pumped me full of chemicals and she did not fuss at me

So there’s that


I would just like to add, the only time I came in contact with the COVID-19 virus, was when I received both the Moderna vaccines

So just to sum things up, my heart and left lung were damaged receiving the Moderna vaccines

I nearly died getting the vaccines

I still could die

I believe it’s a miracle I still am alive

Still on bedrest fool! 😷


Are you a safety mirage?
Should I lay down a barrage?
Is there a chance to get caught?
Is that what heaven besought?

Are you someone I can feel?
Is this fantasy for real?
Are you fate or just thrill?
Is this why hell has stood still?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I’m so deprived and devoid of life, that even if he was a predator, I’d let him eat me! 😩

Or, maybe that’s just suicidal, welp 😩

Helps 😑

He said it’s just fantasy and they all tire of me quickly

Most take one look and run! 😫

I wish the need didn’t feel so real

I need him like air 👀

*dies on street* 😩

Thanks for supporting my blog, OnlyFans, and Patreon! My blog recently hit 80K! You’re the reason I keep going! 💪💪

Once I get back on my feet, I’m gonna be turning my Patreon 18+ and adding a nude tier and making changes to my current tiers! My blog will be getting updated as well! And it’ll feel good to start pushing content and cosplay to my OnlyFans! Thanks for sticking around!

I hope I can start rebounding again soon! Been down over 2 months! 😩

Why India, The World’s Largest Vaccine Maker, Has A 4% Rate Of COVID Vaccination

The Serum Institute began mass-producing COVID vaccines even before approval. They’ve made millions of doses. But so far only about 4% of people in India are fully vaccinated. What went wrong?
— Read on www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2021/06/29/1011022472/india-is-the-worlds-biggest-vaccine-maker-yet-only-4-of-indians-are-vaccinated

Deja vu

In dream or filter
In scream or whisper
Deja vu his figure

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Did we meet in another timeline? Have I been here before?

Is your shadow a stranger? Why do I know you?

Looks like I’ve been here before yet I don’t know this place?

String theory, I’m connected to you 👀

Yep, believe in the multi-verse

Not the Big Bang

Got to go! Mental health appointment! Depressed!

And, I love you? 👀

I hope the other versions of me are doing better than this galaxy


I am never the main attraction
Just a sideline of all I’m lacking
Hopeless refraction
The foundation cracking
On death keep tapping

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Depression and loneliness, my onlyness

The hopelessness 😩

As scary as it is, wish the heart would give…

Literally only alive to pay bills 👀

Why workers aren’t returning to low pay jobs with zero benefits


It’s every job isn’t it! Low pay, no benefits, work us without proper breaks or raises!

Inflate the housing market and make it near impossible to buy a home, forcing you to waste money by renting your entire life with yearly rent increases and buildings falling down all around

Corporations are not people and they don’t care about you

Amazon is now firing workers through an app

Pensions get cut

We’re slaves, end of

Wake up!!!!

Vaccine mandates + why you should turn off ad tracking everywhere

They’re starting to put restrictions on unvaccinated people, no entry mandates

Told you

So let’s just not go

Over 40% of the unvaccinated US population hold so much power currently

Don’t let them fearmonger you

Your body, your choice!

If we’re doing all this simply to have electricity, well I’m ready to live without it honey


I’m vaccinated but I still could get somebody sick and I got hit with heart inflammation because they chose to not let the population know that it was causing heart damage and people have died from it and people have gotten hurt from it and they have silenced and shunned us from communicating and letting you know because they turned this vaccine into peer pressure and big brother is illuminati owned

They may not be knocking down your door like Hitler, but it’s the same thing with mandates

I’m sure there’s someone else who could do a better job of telling you what it is I’m about to tell you but I need you to listen and hear 💪

I’ve turned off ad tracking on every app I’m currently on and in the system of my iPhone itself

Apple ad tracking is found under your settings on your iPhone (mine was under privacy)
Apple ad tracking is found under your settings on your iPhone (mine was under privacy)

I’m no longer on android because you cannot uninstall Facebook from the device itself and big bro has penalized me and took away my freedom of speech so I no longer support android

Mark Zuckerberg is starting to have way too much control with his little social media mind control game (both Biden and Trump say the aps are toxic)

I’m making it extremely hard for them to track me through ads and I am not giving them permission to do so

It’s getting ridiculous and clear that ads infringe on our privacy and rights and most everyone seems cool with it

Yet most of the ads that we do find on Facebook, Instagram, or even TikTok or Twitter are spam and people are coming on saying it’s spam so I’m sure it’s somebody from India who has learned how to trick the account and use us to get our money.

Most of the ads are spam and junk

I am not such a consumer where I’m having a conversation with someone on Twitter and then head to Instagram and there’s an ad pop up for what we were just talking about. I don’t need that sort of control in my life.

I can make decisions of what I want to buy on my own

They are using ads to manipulate us and legally spy on us

Well I’m making it hard for them to legally spy on me and that’s why I’m turning off all those things and I’ll just stop using the app if enforced

Instagram has sneaked in a bunch of new updates so go check out your settings – on Twitter and FB too (I’m sure any app you are using, I’ve downsized)

I had to unselect a bunch of ad stuff that they sneaked in and was already activated – I unselected the ad choice options on Instagram and they sneak in updates like this all the time

Instagram, Facebook and Twitter are so toxic and both Trump and Biden are calling Facebook toxic and Big Bro (Mark Zuckerberg Illuminati owned) is butt hurt over these accusations


Let’s start boycotting these corporations who micromanage our every move and even what we’re allowed to post or say

At least turn off the ad tracking – you could start there.

They will still bombard you with the same amount of ads but they’re not gonna be able to track what you do and say even though they will still be tracking it illegally but you’ve not given them permission to do so on the apps and on your phone…

Anybody can make an ad and track you

You’re giving hackers, spammers, thefts, the boogeyman access to track you

What’s the point in having all that security in your home if you’re just gonna give them a Birdseye view from your devices?

Do you really need to be eye raped by that ad that’s probably likely spam which is why there’s a ton of people who fell for it and they’re leaving comments about how it’s spam, they never got the item, or it doesn’t work or blah blah blah

If you see an ad where comments are turned off, beware.

Ads are red flags

Why are you giving them permission to be in your phone? Have you actually read what it means, have you gone under Twitter and read what permissions you’re giving them to track you with?

When has an ad changed your life?

Turn if off

So if you need help finding anything just reach out to me and I’ll do my best to help you or to help you find the answer

I recently switched to an iPhone for the first time after being a Samsung/Android user and reason number 1 was the fact that you cannot uninstall the Facebook application from the device

Woah 👎👎

But I’m also finding that there’s been a lot of security threats all around with the safety of phones in general

This was a fairly scary article to read but wasn’t shocking that the attacks are coming from the Middle East / Asia) 🙄



There are a lot of people out there that doesn’t have the IQ or intelligence that we have or the critical thinking skills so they’re being manipulated and taken from their money and it’s not a positive experience for them and it’s young people and old people and middle-age people, they know how to use words and steal identity or money

Please turn off ad tracking everywhere, you are legally letting hackers spy on you through ad campaigns

It’s really scary if I’m honest

These ads are tracking and manipulating our children, not just us

What’s the point of even locking your doors at night when we’re letting the bogeyman spy on us through ad tracking?

But can we please stop having them spam us, turn the ads off please, for the love of God, turn the ad tracking off!!!!

*takes a deep breath*

I am an American soldier and I am trying to protect the American way of life, which is completely under threat right now

Please wake up

And turn off ad tracking everywhere

Safety first

You’re letting strangers track you through ads

Turn it off, tell your friends

I love you

Reporting the important topics to you today from ground zero: my bed

Haven’t even brushed my tooths yet – just thought you should be aware of how dangerous ad tracking really is because nobody’s telling you or talking about it

And I was trained in the army that safety is everybody’s job and it’s everybody’s place to let people know when there’s a safety issue so knock knock, safety issue, turn your ad tracking off

You don’t need it, I promise you

And go help your mom turn their ad tracking off and help your children and your friends, spread the word, let’s make it difficult for these assholes to spam us, spy on us, take our money, give us bad days

81k views, thank you!

Appreciate everyone out there still supporting my Patreon and my OnlyFans! I’m hopeful I can get back at it soon!

My blog hit 81,000 views, and I don’t take that for granted at all!

Thank you for reading my poetry, rants, and my prose!

I appreciate you all so much!

I look terrible but kisses to you!


Heart is on the mend

My heart is starting to feel better

I’m starting to think the reason it was hurting so bad is because my heart was welding itself with electrical charges to heal itself

That’s why I would experience sharp prolonged flashes of pain followed by intense burning

And I still feel flashes of charges but with way less intensity

The constant pulling and tightness in my chest has also decreased, perhaps this means less swelling

I can still feel my heart is damaged and I’m still experiencing lethargy but my blood pressure dropping has decreased and my BP is starting to normalize again

I do still feel cold from time to time but nowhere like before

The plot to my grave has a bit more distance now

Maybe put your obituaries away 🤔

I hope I can get back to fitness and life soon

Thank you for your get wells and prayers! ❤️

Love in Secret ❤️

Love in secret
Like walking on the moon
Elated; but we won’t speak it
Tongue too swoon
What words befit?
Tell me high noon
Put them in orbit!

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Uhm, he’s not bored of me yet and my double pigtails are getting long – I’ve also found that I’m treated nicer by everyone when I’m wearing them

I was taking up all the space at the grocery store today and I didn’t get yelled at not once, nor snickered at or rudely cursed.

Grandpa was extra nice

The lady shopper was nervously fidgeting with her short hair

The cashier accurately predicted I met my budget

And the young bagger did the best bag job I’ve ever had

I think I’m in a different timeline 👀

Look how long the pigtails are getting

You are dog food = cheap with no value or nutritional value

If I stop following you and you block me, that’s okay.

I’m not gonna block you back.

I don’t even want to remember your fake ass username or how terrible of a person you really are.

The same people who punish me for getting sick for getting vaccinated are the same kind of people who would’ve locked me on the bottom of the Titanic and watched it sink in boats that could’ve held more people.

Instead of people wishing me get wells, I get ignored, unfollowed, or blocked.

“Everybody gone mad / everybody dog food” – Michael Jackson

I have underlining health issues like a lot of Americans and this vaccine could actually hurt them like it did me or all the teens and youths’s

The CDC and Big Pharma should have placed warnings in the beginning when they knew the risks but kept them from us

End of!

For the record, my heart swelled up, heart tissue got damaged, I was in a lot of pain.

I’m just now getting to a point where I’m not feeling agonizing pain on the daily.

I’ve already had multiple tests done on my heart, and I still have two stress tests pending that I don’t even want to do.

My heart has been under enough stress, thank you.

And the guys who come and go from my life virtually are no different from the guys who came and went in my life in my real world and they always did me dirty no matter how good of a fucking girlfriend I was to them (or friend), no matter how good of a sexual partner I was to them, no matter how well of a financial partner I was to them or how I supported them it was always the opposite for me and very degrading, every relationship was very very degrading because apparently most everybody is a fucking narcissist and all they care is about is using others to get ahead, friends, family, co-workers, they spare no one!

But I’m supposed to feel bad that they’re gone 🙄

It’s my fault, when people are bad to me 🙄

I deserve to be punished 🙄

I’ve had dudes break up with me because my tits weren’t fake 🙄

I grew up in a society where they shamed mother bodies

But now you can watch women breast-feeding on Twitter in a sexualized manner 🙄

Whereas, I would’ve had eggs thrown at me if I had ever breast-fed in public 🤨

Fuck y’all


I take a clue then cut it into pieces
I make a square just to see how it will fit
I am a pupil and adapt to what he teaches
But there’s no lessons for me ever to submit

I watch to see how space and time increases
And if there’s information that I should omit
I’ll spin in circles until my breathing wheezes
I guess we’ll find that I’m just illiterate


© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

This was not the direction I was wanting the poem to go at all but the truth is living with a brain injury gets very confusing and I can take conversation to the left field in no time and I often feel aloof and lost because sometimes I’ll just completely forget what we were even talking about while we are talking… 👀

I think I’m dumb

Like that Nirvana song 👀

Completely put together vs completely torn apart in a matter of seconds

Imagine standing in front of a classroom and being the instructor but then having to ask the class what we were talking about 👀

Now put it in a smaller setting and add anxiety and people 👀

Or, talking to your crush and acting a proper idiot, I’ve done them all 👀

No officer, not high, just stupid 👀

It’s embarrassing being so dumb 👀

And the doctors don’t seem to understand that being a writer who can’t spell is a problem for me 👀

And it’s not that I can’t spell, it’s that I can’t even form words or remember names, it’s all these things 👀

I tell them I’m losing my mind but you know, I don’t think people can hear me at all 👀

Most people make me cry when I act stupid but not him 👀

The way he deals with my stupidness and my insecurities makes me want to do the naughties instead of cry 👀

I like him a lot 👀

Just waiting for him to dump me in the trash the way everybody else does when they’re disappointed with me or annoyed by my inexperience 👀

But sometimes I’m running away because I think he deserves something better than already dying and half dead 👀

Unless you’re into necrophilia, it’s kind of the closest and most legal thing 👀

I have a walking cane and I wear pigtails 👀

Where’s the AA meeting for, “hi, my name is Delia and I identify as young”?

Jim Morrison identified as a lizard, I identify as a kid. 👀

I’m not allowed to act like a kid but I could split my tongue, tattoo my entire body into lizard skin, tattoo my eyeballs, and hiss at people 👀

I’m definitely in the wrong timeline, the doctors don’t understand my level of paranoia 👀

I have guys trying to kidnap me in broad daylight just for being petite and cute 👀

I guess I’ve been asking for it since the day I was born 👀

Can’t even be myself 👀

Okay, it’s 3 am and my favorite time and need the moonshine

Not the alcohol, the Moon!!!!!!

I don’t fucking drink

I’m part of the 1% of the population that is not an alcoholic 👀

Oh hiiii

You’re an asshole driver on the road 👀


Heart monitor day 1

The glue or whatever they used to attach this monitor to my skin STINKS

Like hospital ass

And it’s right under my nostrils

Hours have gone by and the chemicals are still loud 🤢

Looking forward to the itching that’s to come 😣

I stanks 🥴

This patch be stanky!

These fumes!!!! 🤕

Helps 🤧

I live at the hospital these days thanks to the Moderna vaccines swelling up my heart!!!

My nostrils are burning 👀

Probably gonna place that in my “journal” that I gotta send in – in bold red ink – with a ton of exclamation marks!!!

I also have a weird OCD about things being on my body

Like if a clothing item feels weird, I won’t be able to wear it

Or accessory

Which is why you’ll likely rarely ever see me in a belt, unless I’m in my military uniform, because I literally hate wearing belts or even watches…

Which is probably why you’ve never seen me in either a watch or a belt 👀

I have weird habits 👀

I’m obsessed with shoes but prefer being barefoot (but also hate having dirty feet) 👀

Sharing my darkest secrets 🤪

New goal: live to be an old lady


He messaged
From deep space
For touch or embrace
Or hope a second

The way dark lessened
The hope we face
Felt love a trace
A path was blessed then

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Struggling with purpose a lot right now 👀

Facing mortality way sooner than intended and learning the big lessons

My memaw had 12 children and I feel like I’m not meeting my potential in life 👀

Now that I have heart problems it’s like I have the grim reaper breathing on my back 👀

Or tapping me with one of those thangs you use for chopping weeds 👀

I might need one when I buy some land – if I can remember the name or live long enough 👀

Probably chop my ankle off by accident because I’m prone so probably don’t need one at all 👀

Grim gonna have me spit cleaning his soon 👀

Heart stuffs

Got a CT scan of my heart today

These things rotate inside at super sonic speeds but it was entirely less traumatic than getting an MRI which made me 1000% claustrophobic when I got one. And the CT scan only took a few minutes.

Now I got a heart monitor glued to me capturing every heartbeat for the next 14 days and this patch cannot be removed by anyone according to this security statement – except my physician. I reckon that there’s some asshole out there that’s probably demanded people to do this which is why it has a warning.

It’ll turn orange and start glowing and beeping if it stops working. So not hearing anything is good.

They say though the patch can get irritating.

And obviously I can’t get it wet. Gotta be careful with the shower or bath.

Dying is so much fun. 👀

It’s also degrading and humiliating but my actual death isn’t something I’ll be able to worry over

Even though we all shit ourselves when we finally kick the bucket 👀

I’m not looking forward to all the disgusting shit that happens after I’m dead and I’m glad I won’t be alive for the humiliation

And I have demanded no funeral or showing so there won’t be any humiliation of only seven people attending and it being only enemies 👀

Poor Edgar Allan Poe tossed in an unmarked box

That actually sounds pretty wonderful and I’ll have an unmarked box myself please 👀

I don’t have a box at all 👀

And since no one is going to visit me in the eternal afterlife, we don’t really need a marked grave. Just drop me in the earth.

Death > Box > Earth 👀

I do miss my previous life and miss y’all


Slowly deleting every app from my phone
The ad personalization has been dezoned
Buried in the earth somewhere my bone
The only destination left is alone

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Kind of, sort of, falling into oblivion

And making it hard for even God to find me 👀

How will Big Bro track me, if I go underground?

How can people silence me if I never make a sound? 👀

Gonna teach y’all how ghosting really works 👀

Living in my car soon 👀

Good luck finding me 👀

Hello from the moon

It’s like you’re 400 times bigger and further away
Reflection like a mirror and here it’s always day

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Awe. Your light is always shining 🥰

In sync all the time no matter the hour

Our paths always the same

Only light-seconds away

You are electrically charged

You have a frequency

You emit light

One day you will see

I’m on some sort of awakening journey or path but I also feel increasingly detached from society and more or less on a different or alternate timeline

Maybe knowing all them things before they happened came at a cost

What if I’m in the wrong timeline? 👀

What if other versions of me do exist and I tap into this knowledge

Like that’s how I’m able to know things before they happen 👀

What if I’m stuck in the wrong timeline

I’m not the only one experiencing weird things happening

Many have brought up the Mandela effect, others have said CERN opened up a portal (lol lol I know) but bizarre things have been happening

I mean, before they denied the existence of planet nine and it was my generation who said it existed and now the scientists are saying it’s possibly a black hole

Oh, and the Unicorn black hole – which has mysteriously popped up only 1.5 light-years away

The fucking unicorn 👀

And don’t get me started on the evils of CERN

Been doing loads of juice, nuts, and bread

Went on the Jesus diet 👀

I love the Publix bakery 👀

Anyhoo sea salt on everything 👀

People are always telling me not to eat bread and salt so it’s all I eat now 👀

I’ve gone Biblical 👀

I need a robe 👀

And a dungeon to hide in so I don’t get crucified for knowing too much 👀

And so I can randomly howl at the moon 👀

Actually, I can’t howl very well currently (wounded)

But my bitch radar is overheating

I gotta chill

I mean, I have been hurting and I gotta leave my house every five seconds to attend a medical appointment

Me no likey

Basically half dead and clinging to life

Bet some oxygen would’ve helped heal my heart but where’s the money to be made in that 👀

They actually want to stress my heart out and put it in more stress than it’s already under by giving it a stress test – Not once but twice and on different days

They wanna pump me full of chemicals to piss off my heart more than it already is

They want to give me a heart attack


Can you feel yourself falling when you sleep? Gravity

Sagittarius A* 👀

Our mind is programmed to see only certain realities – If we see things in constant motion as they are because everything is energy and it’s always moving – it would really freak us out

But some of us are tuned to different frequencies and vibrations

Which is also why music and things are important because everything costs energy

And some people get hung up on jobs or family relationships when they should let them go because it costs you too much of your energy

It took me a long time to learn that lesson

And basically nothing is what it seems and fame is used as a distraction to keep you from the truth

That you are a slave, Neo 👀

(And they mock our existence with religion and porn)

Shame that many just don’t have the courage to wake up

You gotta wake up tho

The ole ticker

On the 15th, I get a heart monitor strapped on me for 14 days

How fucking sexy am I now? 👀

I should probably take a medical leave of absence but here I fucking am and soon packing a heart monitor instead of a 9 mm 👀

Sexy af 👀

Dying 👀

I’m bringing dying back / these motherfuckers don’t know how to act 👀

*twerks sucks thumb*

For real tho, I’m not back working out

I can’t even get to the grocery store with a storm looming


You’re like a volcano erupting
Then there’s silence you’re suddenly sculpting
Black smoke resulting
The earth lay moping and molten

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Feeling increasingly paranoid and withdrawn and it’s only 5:43 AM. How’s your day going?

If you’re walking on egg shells, it’s molten around here 👀

In 2019 some Australians decided to go with a tour company hike up a volcano and the tour guide was like “yeah it’s a level two currently” and these people didn’t know anything about volcanoes but the tour guide was like “it’s currently a level 2, level 3 is exploding” and then the Volcano exploded and the rescue helicopter company right next to the tour guide didn’t come pick up any of the hikers on the volcano that was exploding, it was some random helicopter that decided to play rescue and hero and a lot of people died on that volcano 🌋 in 2019, a lot of people died…

It’s basically the Titanic everywhere, and buildings are falling down 3 1/2 hours from me 👀

The tour company took them hiking on a level 2 volcano and the rescue company didn’t come rescue them when the volcano went off 👀

People got burned

People died

The rescue company left them on an erupting volcano

And the mayors and the governors who pretend they give a fuck about us, they’re just playing an acting role

The White Island Volcano eruption – that’s you (the volcano) and me consistently climbing up while you’re erupting

A level 3 volcano and me hop scotching along with the tour guide


But if a tour guide took me on a level two volcano that turned into a level three, he’d probably get kicked into the fucking volcano 👀

I ain’t out there doing tours during an apocalypse tho

I’m not suicidal enough to go hiking up an active volcano tho

But I am homicidal enough to get into fights with the gas station clerk

I am a level 2 volcano




Reachable never
Like peering in a black hole
And nearing whatever
The gates of error
Your hope will sever

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

What’s weird is when you’re actually trying to be reachable but you’re not.

And also, when you feel your life could be shut at any moment and there’d be nothing left to say.

So you actually have lots of things that you need to say but you’re not getting through

And part of the reason could be your own fault because you block people

Or, the fact that everything we’re saying is being tracked right now and stored on a private server – and they control what we’re going to do through advertising – they also control the flow of information – that we’re basically slaves to them and consumerism but most people don’t care because they are narcissist and they don’t believe in anything therefore I guess they get off on being a monster!?!?

Do you remember what communicating was like back in the 90s? I mean, when you had to page people or ride your bike to a payphone?

There would be mass panic if communication systems were destroyed but do y’all know that stuff is happening out there – pipe lines and hacks and oh my fucking God I’m getting ready to take my communication back to that sort of level anyway because I’m reaching new levels of paranoia with the shadowbans and toxicity of social media in general and blocking hayfever

Blocking hayfever is that like a thing that I just coined or if I Google it does it already exist because I hate coming up with ideas that have already been thought of already, it’s been a huge disappointment throughout my entire life. I can remember coming up with ideas when I was like 10 and someone already had come up with that idea and Google didn’t even exist

I would say people today have it easier but they’re being controlled and in 200 years will cursing even exist?

Because I don’t want to live in a future where freedom of speech is under threat but yet freedom of speech is under threat as I speak

The New World order are closing in and they have us surrounded.

Oh fuck man

I’ve always been afraid of heights but I think I’m equally afraid of pits. Still, go further in.


Go under

If you want to know what’s inside a black hole, just die, because it’s the same thing.

Light enters our eye and never leaves. When you die, the color in your eye also goes. No more information can get through.

But they do say the brain has activity for several minutes after you die and we don’t really know how long that really is and we don’t really know much about consciousness do we? But we do know energy can’t be destroyed so your energy goes somewhere.

I’m circling way too close to the event horizon of my own death.

They say there’s seven levels of consciousness (this thang) 👇

I mean, I’m pretty certain I’ve met them all

Miracle to still be alive 🤔

But currently in lots of pain – was trying to clean up – Nearly put my heart into something I couldn’t get it out of and I’m not dying at the ER I won’t be calling 911

Would rather die by the ocean or outside or the forest – or home

No hospitals

No embalming

No organ donation

No funeral

No cremation

Just a box please. The cheapest one y’all can scurry. It doesn’t need a case.

I can be buried on my own land so I’m trying to stay alive for that OK and it’s cheaper to buy land and quicker to get a piece of land than it is to try to get onto the housing market and whatever

I’d rather just live in my jeep you know – nomad

I’ll just buy a camper and travel around Florida live at different campgrounds move around

I am fucking done with being a renter


Or I’ll join the homeless crew in California you know they have an entire section called Skid Row

I wouldn’t last five minutes on the streets but whatever

Being a girl basically has been men trying to fuck me since I was born

And have been..

We’re nothing more than fucking sex objects

And I don’t really give a fuck about stuff

I mean I do because I’m a baby hoarder but

My ride is the thing I appreciate the most

I guess second up would be my intellectual property

What, what. No reverse that lol

But is intellectual property comparative to like a fucking vehicle? 🧐

I mean a jaguar probably does have more value than my life 😑

I mean the CDC already valued what our worth was when they decided for us that whoever got hurt with heart inflammation was worth the risk because they certainly didn’t let 60% of the population know that beforehand and many have died or been wounded like me and like my life is teetering on the line as we fucking speak and I may not recover but I wasn’t given all the facts about these vaccines and the CDC withheld information to us and they said they knew it was going to cause a certain amount of heart inflammation but that they thought it would happen in a lower number than what it did so they made the decision for us what our lives where worth

We all have the same value to them

How many billionaires and millionaires have been vaccinated? 🤔


I need foodz


But also my TikTok’s are starting to get some views so I can breathe again

I mean yesterday I had one up for like three hours and it didn’t get one view so that bitch got destroyed

I also got in trouble for sharing the TikTok on my Instagram wall – it didn’t like me using Nirvana but that track was pulled from TikTok like all the other songs I use IN the app.

But I’m scared to share another one on my Instagram wall



You still blocked and everything’s my fault


I don’t know how I’ve known tragic events to happen before they do but I do…


A prophet

There are a lot of people out there that know because they were there and I said things and then they happened

Being who I truly am around others has never been easy for me and conforming in school or being forced to be a certain way is not something that’s be an easy path for me

Poet. Prophet. Piece of shit. Add it to my resume


New Tok’s: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdHHYnKA/



Classy and trashy add that too 👀


He wants space
But then he’s suffocating
Demanding my embrace!
Over hyphenating
To simply be first place

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I love him 🤪

I know what he needs well before he does and long after

Sometimes, he thinks he needs something he doesn’t

Sometimes he’s testing the water to see how his feet respond

But I’m a Queen and secure in my role in his kingdom

I would die without him tho so not that secure

Besides, we have a bond that cannot break

Could…. but he gifted me pizza while I laid dying so he’s kinda stuck with me 👀

I’m his 👀

What’s he gonna do with me 👀

My life is so pathetic that my blog has had 80,000 views 👀

Like, if I do die cuz I’m not recovering and the heart throbs, it’s completely acceptable to bring and eat pizza at my grave (that I don’t yet have)

Pizza instead of flowers m’kay 👀

Make sure you leave a slice for me 👀

I was hoping to be planning for babies instead of funerals but you know

The CDC got me

They got me good

Checkmate to the NWO


Your home should be condemned catastrophic condition
Like a monument of trash
Kept in first position

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I think I may be a baby hoarder 👀

Like why do I have so much stuff 👀

Dying is fucking hard, I’ve been trying to get my affairs in order 👀

I always knew I was gonna die from heart troubles 👀

Told my kid that it’s not actually junk, it’s just all out and about 👀

My intellectual property is chaos 👀

That bill may be poetry scribbled 👀

I do it on toilet paper too 👀

Paper napkins 👀

Nothing is junk 👀

Although I could do with less clothes 👀

But I don’t actually know how to part with anything 👀

My kid said it’s because we’re poor and will never get it again 👀

Psychological and I do place attachments on things 👀

It’s not a t-shirt with a hole, it’s a memory 👀

And instead of fixing our hoarding issues, I told them that while it may feel overwhelming, they’d want the stuff. Put it in storage when I die until you can go through it. 👀

Don’t let anybody in the fam take advantage of your mental state after I die and take the stuff 👀

So I’ve contributed to their hoarding problem as well 👀

Albeit, I’m not actually hoarding trash but I haven’t been left alone with my own property, I’d probably have a tunnel dug to hell 👀

Trespassers shot on sight 👀

I am the dog 👀

Might catch me howling under the Moon 👀

Stood up too fast tonight and started slipping into death 👀

Shit getting real 👀

And my heart won’t stop hurting 👀

K, thanx, goodbye


Awake in a dreamworld
Frozen where feet curled
Am clinging where life occurred
Still wishing was his girl

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Living dead girl 👀

I don’t know what lessons I’m supposed to be learning. If the lesson is love by not getting any love, then I accept my fate and am ready to die on the street.

If I’m still here because someone else hasn’t learned the lesson, can we hurry up?

I know things before they happen but yet still manage to make the wrong choices?

Because they were already decided before I took this form 👀

I’m here to teach you a lesson but who hath eyes to see?

Don’t fucking embalm me when I die, don’t fucking cremate me, don’t fucking embalm me

I don’t think the bugs will eat my hair

I want my bones to take 10,000 years to decay

Don’t let them embalm me!

I don’t want to be preserved!

I want to recycle into the Earth.

It’s pretty fucking simple and Florida allows you to be buried on your own land

I can have my own little family cemetery, it’ll be a cemetery of fucking one just like my life but whatever all I need to do is buy my plot of land

I don’t even need to have cemetery space

I’m gonna have my own goddamn land bitches were my body can be buried because Florida allows you to bury yourself on your land

I can crawl into my own fucking ditch and die

Plant an apple tree by the cemetery

It’s cheaper to buy land for me to live on than cemetery space to be buried

But, I can be buried on my land

Two stones, one bird

wait… err other way 👀


You can start using my domain to contact me again – at www.PoeEternal.com

WP is honoring the coupon and refunding what I was overcharged!

I can start posting pictures and videos again!

Thanks to my patrons, I was able to do all this, their support is priceless!

I literally live paycheck to paycheck but I’m not ashamed to say that I pay all my own bills.

It’s terrible that the cost of living has become so expensive that everybody needs to work 2 to 3 jobs until they fucking die just to pay rent and electric.

So I appreciate your support more than I’m able to express.

I’m aware the content has been lacking on all my platforms but the sad truth is, I was warned too late about the negative side effects these vaccines cause. That didn’t stop me from asking everybody “are you sure you want me to go through with the second dose because the first one caused my blood pressure to drop” and everybody, all the medical staff said “yes” and even the guy getting ready to poke me didn’t want to poke me, we both just had the deer in the headlight looks and I fucking went through with it like the good little sheeple that I am and now I’m fucking half dead and learning that only 50% of young adult or teens recover from this- if they get hit with it – and even though I identify as young and or a teen, I don’t actually fall in that category 👀

I fall in the category of “miracle to even still be alive“ 👀

I’m not sugarcoating it and my ticker is in physical pain every day

And activity 10000% makes it worse

Any activity 👀

I ain’t no Golddigger but I am digging my own grave over the choices I allow others to make for me 👀

Peer pressure 👀

Or my future self had been warning me not to get this fucking vaccine because it knew that this was going to happen – so I didn’t listen to myself again – again I didn’t listen to the Oracle in me. I’m not like everybody else. I know things before they fucking happen or maybe this was supposed to happen to me so that I could warn all of you so that the CDC could put a warning out? 🤔

I mean everybody was trying to silence me when I was telling y’all about this shit and I was warning you about it before they even gave it a name and put it out in the press

And now people are just simply calling me a liar 👀

These narcissist have no problems gaslighting your reality though

I’m fucking dying and I’m not crying wolf 👀

I’m the reason the CDC put out a fucking warning 👀

I’m just a casualty of a big pharmacy war

The good news is, people are finally awakening

I’m suffering my own crucifixion in society

You know how Edgar Allan Poe talked about sanity being a nightmare?


Nearly died from my mysterious death tho, didn’t I? 👀

There’s no way you would’ve figured out that this vaccine killed me if nobody would’ve told you


I’m also an Army trained medic

I do have experience in the medical world

I know what the fuck I’m talking about generally

I have years and years and years of experience working as an EMT (an emergency medical technician).

What I was allowed to do on soldiers was far more extensive than what I was allowed to do on civilians.

I was basically a nurse and I even have certificates of teaching others Combat Lifesaver cuz that’s how you keep your certifications to be medical

Just because you didn’t get to see me working in those fields doesn’t mean that I didn’t work in those fields 👀

I know how to triage for fuck sake

My skill sets are not like yours and when I was serving we weren’t allowed to be on our cell phones, we weren’t allowed to take pictures, we weren’t allowed to check in, we weren’t allowed to tell y’all what we were fucking doing 👀

I can’t even remember if cell phones existed when I was in basic training 👀

I’m ancient 👀

I found out how many lives I’m finally on though and I’m on life number seven

So if I do die between now and never, my energy will go to another dimension or galaxy

“You are not of this world”

True. And I really do know events happen before they happen so I need to stop doubting myself

Just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean I’m not being followed and just because something is a conspiracy theory, doesn’t mean it’s not true…

You’ve been conditioned to play your role


Come and Gone

I thought the season had come and gone?
Fleeing reason with curtains drawn?
How lost was Eden, without her dawn?
Left hand held treason, right hand moved on?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Me. Next to a swamp. No filter. Freckles and worry lines uggggg…. But pigtails caught the eye of a dad and son trio, when he randomly asked if I “got the shot” I thought he was asking me about the vaccine lol – but he meant the photos! Lol I iz ditzy but the son kept answering for the dad, I must have been a ditzy hit. 😏

I am tore up about that building collapsing in Miami. Another Boeing basically. The Baby Boomers set us all up for failure. They cut every corner they could and painted over every red flag!

How many more people are gonna die in the hundreds?

That building suffered extensive structural damage so they decided to put heavy equipment and work on the roof. Sounds like another CEO who would rather pay a lawsuit or two than fix a building.

Just like it was easier for NASA to “retire” the Space Shuttle whom NASA murdered 16 astronauts with – instead of building safe rockets that land.

You’re telling me we’ve been giving them our tax money since 1954 and all they’ve come up with is a goddamn satellite that they’ve put up into space to keep you distracted from the fact that you’re a fucking slave, Neo!?!

I don’t want my tax money going to NASA. I never voted for that. I wasn’t even alive.

When do new generations get some say on how life is going to be?

Because as far as I can tell, the people who are in charge, keep fucking everything up. And on purpose.

They don’t fear punishment.

We fucking do tho don’t we.

Jail is the least scary place for me these days.

I’d get a bed, clean shower and three meals a day.

I want the 1% to know fear

Operation Stand Down – OSD – begins with you and me

Yup I’ve got a name for it now 👀

Where my squad? 👀

How the fuck do we talk more n a secure line? 👀

They use advertising to legally track us

And to control us as well

It’s bullshite and I don’t know how it manages to ignore the fucking constitution

These loopholes need concrete 👀

And I wish the press would stop gaslighting us about there being hope for people buried underneath the 12 stories that fell on top of them

They’re dead

Whatever oxygen they may have had, is definitely fucking gone now

They don’t even hear banging anymore so they fucking failed the clean up

Nobody is really good at their jobs anymore if you fucking pay attention to 90% of the population they don’t give a fuck about their job at all not one fucking ounce of empathy not the fucking people working in the hospitals not the people working at the fire stations they’re fucking dead inside – fucking dead 👀

More dead than those buried under 12 stories of rubble

But we can hope 👀

I don’t see anything negative against age play on WordPress – just says to place a NSFW adult content warning in the title


Uhm, I identify as young, so deal with it 👀

*sucks thumb 👀

Heaven or Hell Spoken Word TikTok

I struggled with posting this TikTok even though I worked hard on it because it wasn’t perfect but I need to get use to making mistakes in front of people or I’m never gonna be able to read my poetry live and I have a brain injury and anxiety and all kinds of other fucking things that I’m pushing through 😑




Are we adrift?
In a sea of destiny?
Is this a paradigm shift?
Is there any love for me?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Yelling at everybody on TikTok who keeps talking about the baby boomers, the millennials, and generation Z and completely ignoring the fact that generation X exist – just like my goddamn childhood – I have no fucking identity 😑

Statistically speaking, I guarantee you there have been more people who have dropped dead by suicide by generation X than of all the generations that have gone before or after

I’d like to see that chart

Suicides per generation

I bet my goddamn life on it that Generation X will have the most deaths via suicide

And I’m not just yelling at them but blocking them

Jesus was pretty angry at the establishment before he died though too

And the people


If you like my writing, please consider subscribing to my Patreon so I can pay my bills and eat (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Guard (half poem, half song)

Are you an old guard?
Is your heart calloused or hard?
Have you forgot who you are?
Are you why heaven is charred?
Are you an old guard?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

It probably sounds better in my head 👀

My newest TikTok has the most hearts out of them all 👀

Not the most views, but the most love 👀

And it was over my poetry 👀

Same theme and all 👀



Wanted to do some stuff today – but feeling blockage in the heart – like a blood clot is trying to pass – or it could just be the fact that one of my chambers is enlarged 👀

I’m fucking useless 👀

Still writing tho 👀

Guardian Angel TikTok

Apparently you have to post a lot if you want the algorithm bots to know that you’re alive and since I’m on bedrest and can’t do much else I really really really wanna get better with TikTok’s and the only way you will get better is by making them so I have another one 👀


I’m lucky to still be alive

50% don’t recover from “heart inflammation” and they’re only talking about the teens and young adults 👀

They’re not even including my age group and I warned you before it was even in the fucking news or before teens and young adults could even get the vaccination

You know it’s true

I say Cardiovascular issues and blood clots but the CDC says “heart inflammation” I say extreme lethargy but the CDC says “tiredness” – they like to sugarcoat everything don’t they

Well it’s more than circulatory issues, people are fucking dying over it

Teens and young adults from heart inflammation

Only 50% of that age group recovers

*slightly starts to panic again*


I list my symptoms now:

Chest pains – constant pain like a pulled or torn muscle and then random electric charges or shocks that last for several seconds followed by intense burning 👀

I generally stop breathing during these episodes and they come at random at rest or activity – and activity definitely makes the pain worse! Lately the shocks have been more intense. Today I’ve been feeling like I’m going to pass out. I started slipping earlier and thought for sure it was my last breath 👀

Feeling extremely cold – this correlated with my Blood Pressure (BP) dropping as the nurse recorded my BP – the results led to my doctor ordering an EKG – which showed an enlarged chamber, and one closed off – creating blood flow issues- basically my heart is having a hard time pumping blood throughout my body and it doesn’t have enough kick or force to be able to do it on its own so instead of it pushing blood throughout my entire body it only worries about my vital organs which are inside my ribcage which is why I start feeling extremely cold because in reality I’m actually fucking dying and your skin is not considered a vital organ. People dying feel cold. I told my doctor I felt like Antarctica and I live in Florida. My electric bill was $11 last month but not running the air caused a mold problem in my closet that I had to fix by myself – while dying – cuz mold is ancient and it too was trying to kill me 👀

Dizziness and extreme lethargy – like I’m on my deathbed and can’t keep my eyes open even though I’m getting more sleep now than I’ve done over the last decade 👀

I don’t like the taste of food anymore. The vaccines have changed my sense of smell and taste. A minor setback compared to my chest pains!

I’ve had a lot of anxiety and stress over this – the fears get me and then I spend hours under my heating pad crying because it’s the only thing that brings any relief to my heart (except him – there’s a guardian angel looking over me and feeding me in every way he can. But that’s a whole nother story!)

I’ve been down 2 months! The heart doesn’t feel better and the chest pains are getting worse. The reality is, I might not pull through.

There’s a good chance I’m gonna die from a heart attack over this.

I’m trying to get my affairs in order – and just want to die in peace.

When I was talking to my doctor on the phone about my EKG results, she specifically said she didn’t like how my heart looked for my age and that my heart should not look like it does. She then went on to tell me that an EKG is not a good test to measure the chambers (size) of the heart (but my EKG clearly shows signs of distress). She’s ordered several more tests And I’m pending receiving those with care outside of the VA because the clinic here can’t give me the test so the only nearest VA to me that can do it is 176 miles away so I had to get it approved locally and they only called me last week with a list of providers that I could go see so I finally have a provider but I’m still waiting on the appointment time.

Vets die on waiting lists.


I was in so much pain the night my Holy Ghost visited me and he’s my guardian angel and the reason I’m still alive plus the universe and maybe because I really want to kiss him before I die 👀

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