Rage

Reality came crashing down
And hit like a rogue wave
Promises like broken glass
Which sliver over rage

Life jackets unable to float
But still promising to save
Regret now a sinking ship
An apology is what I crave

Memories flood about
Like a visit to your grave
And earlier shall it now arrive
If you don’t learn to behave

Standing on his virtual plank
Tied and bound just like a slave
Recording every cry and slip
A down ending requires the brave

He might peek but never look
And your sorrow is an all-night rave
He may pretend that he is shook
But he’s the one that will deprave

Where clouds are as thick as doubt
And forgiveness you never gave
Where time is as thin as worry
And love it never came

© Delia Ross. 2019

Narcissism warning

TERMS YOU NEED TO STUDY / THEN GO NO CONTACT

TRIANGULATION, GASLIGHTING, LOVE BOMBING

These are common tools and tactics the narcissist will use to manipulate, confuse, and control you. GO NO CONTACT!

I know it hurts honey, I’m hurting too. But, they are incapable of real love. You gotta go no contact. There’s nothing you can do to change them. You can’t fix them. They are damned. Save yourself! Go NO CONTACT. NO LOOKING BACK!

xoxo

Top 10 Halloween music playlist

Top 10 of my Halloween playlist

  • Ministry – Everyday is Halloween (The Godfather of industrial)
  • Type O Negative – All Hallows Eve (The drab four, a fav)
  • Type O Negative – Black No. 1 (Little Miss Scare-all)
  • Type O Negative – Christian Woman (theme song to my life)
  • Skinny Puppy – Worlock (in my top 10 fav songs ever)
  • Nine Inch Nails – Copy of a (Reznor owns me)
  • Nine Inch Nails – Came Back Haunted (thank fuck & when NIN returned, I was there. Have seen NIN live a few times since a teen, asked Trent to marry me once on his website, he was flattered, I was like sixteen)
  • Type O Negative – Wolfmoon (What? You can’t have Halloween without TON. Besides, this is a story about a guy going down on a girl when she’s on her period during a full moon and he turns into a fucking werewolf, you can’t get any better than that). SANGUINE ADDICTION
  • Zeromancer – Something For The Pain (eargasm)
  • The Cure – Maybe Someday (Bloodflowers, this album, changed my life)

Wrath

“I do terribly bad things”, she said with a saddened sorrow
“Spontaneous combustion”, Lu replied
She was gazing in her mirror, Lu was just behind
Leaning on her shoulder, like he was her beau

He goes places with her no other will go
He knows too many things he shouldn’t know
A mask to Lu is an open window
The thicker they get, the more that you owe

“My tongue is full of sin” she said
As she took a blade, her eyes were blood red
The cold steel on her neck, her gaze still ahead
With careful, quick precision, Lu swiped the blade from her hand, he was never much of a figurehead

“Terribly bad things”, as she crashed to the floor
A creature of the underworld, and she could take no more
Too many souls abandoned, what is she fighting for
If only love could be her savior

“Hey kid, they only fear your purity because they sin,
They act tough where their skin is thin,
They create chaos in an endless cycle they spin,
They search for winnings, where the devil will always win”

With a hand that swung with the thunder of Thor
With a face of refusal and ready for war
With her hand on the trigger and ready to score
Standing an inch from the devil she let out a roar

© Delia Ross. 2019

Do you ever feel like the devil is on your shoulder? That was sort of the goal for the bathroom mirror scene. Now’s he’s been all through the house. Time to see a priest, deep, dark thoughts abide. Maybe an exorcist too. Definitely could use spiritual cleansing from a psychic.

Cobwebs

He spins a web of confusion
He spews we are living in delusion
That won’t stop him from carrying on
His mask cannot hide his beacon

And without reason, I follow the action
I was taught love is twice bitten
Well, maybe his web leads to Eden
It matters not how many webs are spun

I crawl over fragmented dreams and broken bones
It makes me ponder how many hearts he owns
Are they easy to collect like clones
Does he cherish the ones dethroned from their thrones

The stickier the web, the heavier the bloodstones
The harder the heart, the more sinful the wrongs
The farther we part, the heavier the moans
The more you punish, the darker the zones

© Delia Ross. 2019

For the most part, I put all my darkness into my poetry, or my art, I wouldn’t actually bite his head off in real life… the follow unfollow routine might be annoying but seriously there are worse crimes. And I’m trying to refrain from allowing others to trigger me. I have written him so much beautiful rhyme, it would be a shame to focus on the few falls between. xxoo

Le Vampyre

No vampire balls or masquerades
Depression can last for decades

Why do you leave me but never leave me? Why do you pretend that you don’t need me? Why is it, when I cut you, I start bleeding? Why is it, when you cut me, I start feeding?

Age 410
Ich habe hunger
I’d apologise for being a bitch but…
But these mortals get what they ask for…
These are my classic dracula style fangs, but I have other sets that make me look a monster. Halloween soon. Nosferatu season. Dead like me.
Famished
Feed me

The Tale and Trauma of Satine

Satine was born in the dark ages, a very long time ago in the township of “Blackwood” whereto her mother had lived and died.
Unbeknownst of her parents, her mother died during childbirth of Satine. Her mother had been bitten by a vampire while Satine was still in the wound.
Satine never knew of her mother and father, and was abandoned as a child, for the people feared her or what she may become. She was sent away to live in the Carpathian Mountains far away.
There she became skilled amongst her powers, training in martial arts, strategic war tactics, and healing.

A thing of abandonment seeped fear in her heart.
Presumably, her vampiric father watched over her, for Satine had dreams and visions that would abound her. Did he want her dead? Was he in attendance to help her, psychologically?
During her training, she met a Prince by the name of Vladimir. He would teach her many things, among philosophy and majik. Vlad seemed notable of the people, high in court. Yet feared among many.

This brought desire in Satine to return to her home village, learn of its people, of her mother’s grave (hidden behind the church), and seek out her father.

Part human, part vampire, part light, part dark, Satine may prove to be the savior of her village. Upon her arrival, she found the people in disarray. Panic reigned here. Blood towered the streets. Trusty no one was.
Satine seeks love, part of her human condition. She may be vilified by its admission.
She grows week with apathy, bloodlust, and a demoniac affiliation.
She sleeps beyond the church in her mother’s shallow grave.

“Remember, sometimes you need the dark to battle the dark. So do not discourage those who suffer from its apathy.” – Satine

©Delia Ross. 2011

My Son Part 1: The Promise

WARNING: The following story contains explicit gore, imagery, & death. It is intended for an older audience. Though it is not age restricted, caution should be taken when reading, as it may cause triggers in some due to the sensitive context and subject matter. Proceed with caution.

My Son Part 1: The Promise

“The bloody note,
that his lost wife wrote,
He found under his pillow,
when in the afternoon he awoke.
His heart grew weak as he read her final thoughts,
her last words about the son she lost,
and the promise that she broke.
But it sends him right,
back to that lovely night,
when they felt each other’s love,
and gave each other light.
But he tears up when he remembers the deed,
the love he felt then, seems now like greed.
Her promise he would recite.
‘Our life together, darling, has just begun,
And I would be honored if you had our son.’
He was her man and she was his lady,
and so he asked her to have his baby.
Neither hesitated.
She lay on the floor,
as the blood poured,
she felt the one inside,
would live no more.
And she was crying for help and she called everyone.
Thinking that someone could save her son.”
The promise lay on the ground torn.
The shame she had,
when he took her hand,
in the hospital room,
but he made no demand.

And when he first entered, she wouldn’t even lock,
her eyes with his, she just turned toward the wall.
Thinking the promise, she would damn.
But she looked in time,
with her tearing eyes,
she wanted to see him,
the one she was denied.
And when she did, her world was shattered,
And put in submission.
It was black and bloody and in the fetal position.
Her promise was a lie.
‘Our life, my darling, had just begun.
I only need my girl and I don’t need a son.’
He said this, but he could not hide his pain,
He knew that their love would never be the same.
Neither reiterated.
And alas one evening,
while he was dreaming,
she’d lay in the tub,
her wrists slashed and bleeding.
And when he saw the result his heart receded,
it tore apart when her wrists stopped bleeding.
The promise she was relieving.
And after the police went,
And after the trial,
After the search of his house,
And long after denial,
That’s when he found her letter of regret.
Buried under his pillow so he couldn’t neglect.
But then arose a devious smile.
‘Our life, my darling, has just begun.
All I have to do is save some of your blood.’
He knew a man who could restore her life
half of this woman would still be half of his wife.
Shockingly, he never hesitated.”

© Delia Ross. 2010

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Note Beneath His Pillow & Part 3: Half of Her Life