I just sort of died.
Nothing more to be said.
No inspiration coming through.
No motivation going out.
Silence. Isolation. Despair.
Gasping for an inch of life.
A real connection.
Anything other than stars to make it better.
More than planets.
Give me wonder on Earth.
In man.
Make me believe I matter again.
Finding the best of the worst.
In any cup.
Empty. Depleted. Agony.
I don’t want T.V.
I don’t want sunshine.
I just want the one thing that I’ll never have.
Love.
Care.
Help.
Concern.
I exist as a slave to the system only.
One I fought and protected.
Some can’t handle the truth.
I keep discovering more.
Must retreat.
Must nurture the dark now.
Feast on it.
Feel things inside me die.
Like hope.
Dreams.
Reason.
More pain now.
To cover the broken spots.
More calluses forming.
More soul bleeding.
Leaking into nothingness.
Becoming one with it.
Acceptance.
I am nothing.
I am no more.
But something new dying.
Which results in me crying.
I don’t even try.
The warmth on my cheek is soothing.
Let it thaw you.
All things die.
Fertilizer for regrowth.
Play in the ashes.
Taste the salt.
Rub it on a wound.
More coming soon.
More death. More dying.
Starving.
For anything.
A touch.
Yes.
Importance.
Maybe.
Invisibility.
Reality.
I don’t want food.
I need a kiss.
A hug.
A worth.
I own the night.
This is my playground.
Lu offers refuge.
Massaging my despair.
Wanting to nest my soul.
Come on sweetheart.
I’ll pull out the red carpet.
Don’t worry about the blood.
It too will pass.
I’ll walk beside you in this land.
Would you like a hand?
Another bargain perhaps?
Apophis is coming.
One decade left.
What is it worth?
Everything hurts.
He’s right, again.
Cunning and always right.
A white hole now black.
More night.
Can’t see color in the dark.
One final place for my thoughts.
They congregate in my halls.
I want them to fuck off.
They will.
As they are killed.
I slaughter and murder them.
So I can’t feel.
I can see everything clearly now.
And that too hurts.
Make me blind.
I never want to see again.