I wish you were my shrink
I wish you were my husband
Finish what I think
Catch me in the shallows
Stop me where I sink
Copyright © 2026 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
God was like “so you wanna see what you lost, huh…”
And I’m still descending – feel my life unending – tied to times arms – spiral out life’s long
Tiktok won’t let me share this
Permanent derealization
Inside a shadow realm
Never coming down
Lost
Like losing tracking
Satellites show we’re slacking
We’re standing in the tall past
You said we’ll have the last laugh
Declaring magnets don’t last
Copyright © 2026 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
I got so fucking lost
I laid there dying in the void
I dunno
I found God out there
Like a hammock
Resting on
Or maybe God found me
This time…
Imagine being so lost with no direction (nihilism)
It’s fucking hell
He doesn’t like where he’s at
He’s hung up on where he’d rather be
Climbing mountains
Making love by the sea
He’s staring in the mirror
Retracing what he needs
Shackled in the now
He lacks faith on where to flee
The sky, the stars
He’s writing in his dreams
Upon awakening, he’s convinced Were made for me
Copyright © 2026 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
I know you’re sad
I’ve laid in bed
Things I’ll never repeat
Twisting in my head
Like a daily motto: “there’ll be joy when you are dead”
I’ve gone to hell twice
Just tonight
Sat right with Satan
Told him “I still hate him”
I like to bait him
Keep him on my tail then
Lead him straight to my den
“All is welcome”
“Except not him”
He said, I’m the 9th wonder of the world
Pointing to a picture
A great void or a whisper
I’m the angel’s keeper
“Can’t trust her either…”
Trust, I love being lost
The feeling of “I forgot”
Happens a lot…
Like drawing a blank memory
Sending a greeting card with no greeting
It’ll happen to me
Embrace being lost
Learn to maneuver the dark
Faith is my ark
Burning or not
I’m a lost little shepherd
My DNA is a letter
To the cosmos below my feet
I’m begging to be better
Copyright © 2026 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
Don’t worry, I ain’t quitting my day job.
Do you feel the call to the wild? Like to be free to just drive around for a year? Find yourself? Sleep on top your car somewhere unknown? I dunno.
I GOT TO GO.
At least see 1 national park
Eventually, some, face death head on
Gotta look it right in the eye
Some never know what hit em
Some wrestle the demon
I know it’s not the greatest writing – but the embers are still burning
The soul needs a little stirring
Need to go look a great ape in the eye
Say “hi”
I wouldn’t last long in the jungle but luckily this is a zoo…
I’m heading to
To fill up my spiritual cup
Cuz God knows I don’t need NO MO missionary boys at my door trying to micromanage my faith
HONEY SHIP SAILED
SHOULD HAVE GIVEN A FUCK TWO MORE ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I WANT TO BE LOST
There are wonders to be found
(You just want my dimes anyway)
Now I gotta put a “no soliciting / no religious / no no no ARE YOU THE LANDLORD then NO KNOCKING” sign…
I will hand someone an invoice if they break the rules
“For each minute of my time you will pay a fee of…” and I’ll have some fake card reader too – cuz I took drama in school and props are important
DON’T FOOKIN KNOCK UNLESS YOU ARE PAYING ME FOR MY TIME”
They didn’t even bring me a bible
And they texting calling daily
Ghosted them days ago
God is the ONLY ONE allowed here (and the landlord obviously)
My time is precious
The church should be paying me to attend
I got a zoo passs
I’ll be with God’s creatures
And probably eating funnel cake on the train listening to some tunes
I get to ghost all the men who appear in my life ROUND TWO
Besides, Geo imprinted on me
Like the sun and my freckles
I don’t care how crazy I am
You say it like it’s an insult
I am the product of my surroundings
DEAL
(And you don’t get to write up new rules like “a sudden penny shortage” – that may work with the sheeple but not me)
Panera Bread tried to short me a penny and I was like “you’d rather short your customer than your register?” And she gave me my penny…
Meanwhile another location of a different store stated the shortage would be in “our favor”
Yeah fucking right and that’s the type of business I’ll support
It’s not like 20 years have passed since they stopped making pennies
I swear the way these companies keep stealing a penny
Before long it’ll be a dime
Needless to say, me n Panera broke up
Over a penny…
I’m petty as fuck
(My mom would have been embarrassed had she been in the ride)
“Delia, it’s just a penny”
“Yeah, my penny. MINE”.
Think of all the pennies they are keeping….
THIS AIN’T JUST ABOUT ME
WAKEYYYYY WAKEEYYYYYY UPPPPP
It ain’t my job no mo to wake anyone
Everything has been turned into the social credit system and they used the pandemic to throw us under the bus
The good news: my rent ain’t going up and I’ll be set until at least April next year
I got a new shower head with a hose + a filter which I’ll be attempting my first install
Just the basics from Home Depot 🙂
But it’ll be better than what I have
Also want to install a filter system under the sinks – landlord will need to help with that
Hope you’re well…
He was something beautiful
A storm surge
Rushing through oblivion
At the throne of dutiful
No question he loved her
Dust forms in the cracks of your soul
Exit gates where my pity can tiptoe
Try to disappear wearing red
Got the killer on a bloodshed
Going for the gold
Glowing above my halo
He’s breathing lead
Like he’s the second planet from the sun
You better run
But I’ll be hiding in light
I’m right in sight
The guns and the knives
It’s familiarity
Hiding twice as fast as speed
Is he looking at me
Lying underneath the rubble
Exactly where he’s slugging
Disappointment ain’t subtle
The way your stillness blinds me
Turns me into butter
Like looking in the sun
So I escape instead
Of dying in the gutter
In the lattice of the young
Last time I was caring?
Red herring
When’s a time you never lied?
HaHa you tried
I’ve been sleeping with an attitude
I’ve been sleeping like you asked me to
Sometimes it really comes to choice
Like what else am I supposed to do?
Grossly corrupt
How they grew up
Got us hanging from the line
And my ears are ringing
From your screaming
“You gotta cut it this time”
The world below spinning
My head killing
But I’ll need a minute
To process this ending
You’re waning gibbous
Saying death could be the best of us
I seek a future different the past.
What right ascension and declination have you seen one at?
I never really learned to tie a knot
It’s not my luck
I never learned to love a lot
Can’t get a leg up
Probably miss him too much
Text him when I’m not drunk
Like when I give him secrets
Can’t trust he won’t keep them
Wrap em up beneath him
Bran scan shows I’m dumb
But I don’t know how come
Unlike this chair I built
With all his lies I’ve dealt
I’ve got a single bullet
Don’t know where I should put it
Maybe under the Mistletoe
Right where the axes go
Have you succumbed
Down in the mire
Took you how long
Cutting through the liar
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Hi. Goodbye.
Barely alive – had burnt toast n cream cheese – hanging in there
Coffee is on the stove
There’s a warm glow
And the nightmare from my dreams below
Hanging from my halo
A rock would be softer than this pillow
I’m too low
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
P.S.
It’s that time of the month again. Where my mood shifts like a pendulum. Can’t handle where I’ve been. It’s just my blood darling.
Can’t believe people didn’t take better care of their bloodlines.
I’m crying all the time, putting in the overtime, won’t cost you a dime.
Happy dying. Oh stop lying.
I dunno if this is an insult but it’s likely why you’ll never hear me boo’d off stage or attempting open mic cuz that’s exactly what this slam poetry was –
Thank you?
I just think it’s funny I quit posting after that comment. I mean how many straws?
No I don’t have thick skin. Poe died naked out his mind on the street darling.
CHILDSPLAY
I mean same same
It’s not like Victoria even liked it…
“Bad press is good press” (for the narcissist)
At least it got 390 views
I feel inclined to swallow
Whole lies
These villages are hollow
Filled with empty lives
There is no road to follow
We split too many times
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Cherry blossoms bloom
Over my depression
Red leaves fall
Deeper isolation
Like a pivotal point
Forged through tribulation
Five trillion eight hundred seventy-eight billion four hundred ninety-nine million eight hundred ten thousand miles from all creation
I’m racing towards
A single colossal point of gravity
Like I’m searching for
Rewards
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I don’t even like halloween anymore
But there are SOME things I still like…
Your words
Sink 36,000 feet below
Where I bestow
Feathers from your mantel
Flowers for your candle
A simple “hello”
There was a time
I trip-mined
Over our demise
Trenches filled with water
Worries fell to slaughter
But you were still mine
Like golden arrows
Muskets for the scarecrows
Love found in the narrows
I wonder how deep we go?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
~Been writing lines since 1989~
There are hills I have climbed
There are mountains where I’ve died
I’m still lingering on the hillside
There are trails where the blood dried
Your stats are booming!
But it doesn’t mean I’m looming
Come school me
Don’t fool me
I had the worst diet
Lived on his lies like it was the Hyatt
His love was a riot
Never peace
Just wanted quiet
What am I doing holding onto these ashes?
Counting midnight stashes?
Wondering how long life is?
Cuts like a knife when
Life ends
Just like yours did
Where does mine begin?
The same way they think they’re game is worth waiting for
They’re a fucking bore
Matchmaking locked
But I got a glock
I didn’t want to give another update; another reason why I am late. An outtake: for fuck sake
My favorite part of the journey is the rest
Think I like it best
Some call me lazy
Cuz I like to nest?
Of course we would meet through the ether
I’m not pure either
Heaven I would not enter
Just sitting here in purgatory
Like a bedtime story
My love is buried in a cave
Degrading
Am I worth saving?
Dear Follower,
I know you followed
Through endless hollow
Look all the years and roads we travelled
Bickered laughed falling on some gravel
The places we will go
You know I miss you so?
Met you at my lowest
like an interlude
of course it wasn’t the devil
but God true and true
even if you were just a man
he looks just like you?
Do you think God could create a love that goes on forever?
Do you think the universe is a love letter?
Cuz I’ve got memories as distant as stars
But not where you are
Like living in a waking dream
You are there in the corner of my seams
WALKING WITH ME
We’re neurodivergent
We spin like it’s urgent
Spinning faster than the earth is
Some say we’re imperfect
Error
Like an arrow
Straight to the center gravity
Of my failure
Still I’m getting better
Miscalculating data
Just like the AI
Counting only matter
I don’t know what I’m holding on to
Will I disappear after all I’ve been through
If I let her go, will I be new?
I don’t know what I’m doing here
When I want to roam the streets dear
But my shadow’s bringing fear
I don’t know why I’m circling
Nothing I do ever stops the hurtin’
There’s just avenues of me
They pass out medical diagnosis like it’s a weather forecast; “You’re 6 degrees from dying but there’s sunshine at last”…
Precognition
I said, you’re perfect
Nothing would be worth it
That’s the verdict
(I’ll never date or acknowledge another ten) (not even gonna look their way) (oof TOUCHE BROTHER)
RUST IN HELL
Like if a ten ever asked me out for anything I’d be like: WHAT. NO. You’re more than a ten.
I’d simply walk away.
And if he persisted I’d just demand loudly: I DON’T WANNA BE YER FLESHLIGHT
Yeah no NOT REAL – DENOUNCED – took me a whole science degree and 40 plus years WOOHOO – I AWOKE
Like standing up for yourself
While backing into a wall
It’s no fun at all
But you will prob hear me laugh
As I’m picking up my step
Crying down the hall
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
Postscript:
I dunno if I’m clumsy or if it’s almost a full moon
Two things can be true at once
I get upset I don’t spend more time talking to the stars
That shit won’t even be twinkling til I ask it something specific: “did you miss me, two for yes, one for no” and I’ll be blessed it’ll blink twice
HA! knew knew
Our love is instant – no distance between the two
The sun is local
Flat earth: not confirmed
(I know things b4 they happen)
I pick up the signal before the signal arrives
DO U WANT MORE LINES?
(Im still under a treatment plan, not in remission, got tired of the constant penalties trying to game or socialize)
You don’t want me writing on *insert CGP* yet
Better let me feed the squirrels
And stop cutting down the trees
You already ran off Owl or killed him one
Im on final edge
THERE’S NO MORE WARNINGS
I’ll attempt to post some of my DBD gaming maybe – just to show you how pissed off I really am – either go all in on the killer hardcore pallet stun blind after blind or i never move
I go in without an offering item or perk
I don’t lurk
It’s either “go ahead and get yer 4k or there’s no stopping me and i’ll even get the hard save”
I was laughing SO HARD when I kept getting STUN AFTER STUN and kept shaking my head NO but the killer was heated – and I was so calm – Im learning to control my moods thru the game lmao
Get the killer all worked up and I aint even breaking a sweat
Eh sometimes I feel bad and just let them have me cuz damn i be mean
But what’s even more fun is the killer only saving me
Ive tried to die and they’re like “nah you can have hatch”
“Im suicidal too”
Sweet. Happy Halloween boo.
I uninstalled the game. AGAIN.
And I don’t doomscrool
The one app I was left on kept punishing me after I spent loads of money feeding the enemy
Im not supporting other creators when I cant do the same (without penalty)
Im tired of appealing?
I really wanna update my blog?
I have goals but then again Im bed rotting
I was at physical therapy yesterday
“Im not ready for a walker”
But you need to get use to seeing me with a walking stick
Moving into my Moses phase
The mountains been calling
I would write more but there’s only the phone
I hate my tablet
I hate my laptop
I hate my Playstation 5
I hate my TV
I don’t hate eggnog or pie
Or this little guy
I know
I know you’re bored of life
I know you’re tired of lying
The quick traverse of the rope
But you forgot to tie the lineForget about dying
I think about you all the time
The cold felt you appear like a sun ray, but disappear just as I prayed
For once, you let me have my way
But looking back, the way was pavedAnd there were devils on the road
And there were demons in the den
They were always looking
They know all I’ve beenSometimes I question things did
We’ve been depressed since we were kidsYou’re hiding under pseudonym
You’re writing in acronym
Two plus two means words you spell
For me, “I’m always seeing him”In clouds, en empty well
Lost footsteps in hellLike during the blood moon
I’ll stop and bless a boon
Speak words with you
Where dreams feel trueBut I am two-faced
Barefoot disgracedI know I’ll find you on the dark path
And on the pages where I come last
But have a good laugh
(And no I won’t ask)I’m mad
And in the madness, you found me dancing ballet atop the quicksand, asking when will it end?“Do I know what I am doing here”
“Do you know why you are here”Other dimensions have left shadows on my heart, in places even you wouldn’t embark
Like leaving footprints of destiny
You weren’tmeant for meYou were like meeting light at the end of the tunnel
Tongue no longer verbal
Wanted in your circle
Knowing I am troubleBut you are fire and I’m a match
So open doors now have a latch
And you escaped down the hatchWe’re running from the past but the sign up ahead says we’re going too fast
All my nightmares are neatly tucked away under my bed
That’s where dreams go to dieIf you look at the dust collecting, that’s my skin shedding
Cold nights sweating
BloodlettingThere I lay dead
And who I could have been
Is laying there like papers
Yet it is skin…Dried up and thin
The worse part is I don’t listen to myself
Just like nobody else
I said halt not leftBut John went crawling in a hole he knew he wouldn’t fit in at all
“The map is wrong”
The globe isn’t accurate
Your love I’m chasing after it
In the middle of midnight
There’s a tail lightSo how scary was my fall?
My end; want to keep the secret from allCuz the dead don’t know they’re dying
Some happen quick
Don’t know what hit
Some oversaturated
With societal bullshitI’m clearing out my life again
Got another big task ahead
You think Mount Everest is big
You ain’t been climbing in my headDid you know sword cuts flame?
That I’ve gone insane?
Sometimes I cry
When I call your name?My love comes and goes
It ebbs and it flowsDistance is time
The homeless are congregating in the city streets like the chosen fallen
They’re rabid with sin
Drooling from the dope within
And I gotta flee again
These feet are wearing thinCopyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
A great wave is moving across the Milky Way
Just like the letter I wrote you that day
I wonder how much gravity weighed
Have you sat with sin
Could you do it again?
Trapped in a mine
Barely breathing?
I’m asking when?
Cuz lately it’s all we’re doing
Crunching time
Like it’s ours to begin with
Is there something between enemy and friend
More than acquaintance?
We’re reaching
The beginning of the end
It can drag on lifetimes
Yet in a blink you have died
Suffered the insufferable
Like it was a crashing tide
I remember 2009
I miscalculated
The depths of my love
And how the years go on
Never asking permission once
Gotta do what it wants
I wanna sleep where he haunts
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
You know, it’s the time, John Jones died. Worst death to ever die.
If I ever go AWOL – I won’t really be missing
Well, I mean, probably won’t catch me crawling around no tight spots. PROBABLY.
I mean, anything is possible.
Im out my fuckin’ mind
I’m claustrophobic
Need the lights on
Gotta be able to spread eagle
I’ve loved you far too long
The past is filled with the scars of our love
Look at her, recording everything we do
She’s got the look too
Spotlights on me and you…
🙂
NEED TO MAKE A TRIP TO THE LIBRARY AND ZOO
Just shit I can’t seem to convince myself to do
Like eating
There are them days
I hear the doctors words replay: fasting two weeks is good
I can’t go a day without loving you
Even if it’s hate-filled
Apples contain cyanide
But I like them caramel coated
Not rotted on the inside
I don’t like it when you lie
Where is home
We’re shifting in the void
Like meeting in the bathroom
You called me paranoid
While all these years have past
My heart is where you roam
Like living in purgatory
Where secrets are destroyed
Where do the lost belong
When standing at the crossroad
Like we’re overjoyed
Do we wait here long?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
Postscript: hi. Thank you so much for still being here. How much time has passed?
… I thought I would be in recovery by now…
I thought I’d be dead…
North east south west
Confusion in my head
Remember A LONG TIME AGO i posted a link to a youtube video of a tool song + the fib sequence that a student (in college i think) put together
It received millions of views
Then… one day he posted he had to take it down
The sound was going to be removed
Fast forward to now – I tried to find that video – LONG GONE
What’s in place is MAYNARD talking about the song + math + the sequence
He’s still the biggest pompous piece-of-shit and i said what i said didn’t i
So just today (cuz how old are we again)
I found tool and Maynard on the tiktok – i followed first both accounts and then i blocked
Remembering that time May May blocked me on FaceBook for sending a friend request and “hi”
Not only is he ugly on the outside
But he makes some of the BEST MUSIC KNOWN TO EXIST
I just won’t support it
(My sis refuses to go to his gigs, calls him an asshole)
(She’s a professional music photographer (and wedding/pet)
I got her into them
She met him
“He’s a dick”
Literally did not want to go to a gig
Don’t blame
Slash gave me the cold shoulder when we met in New Orleans and I ain’t ever been the same
He was nice to my daughter tho
*rolls eyes*
We drove 4 hours to Hard Rock in New Orleans for them to tell me she wasn’t allowed in the club
I said WHAT U MEAN
I IZ HER MOM
So they waited and listened outside and “we tried to meet them after the show”
We met them…
I’m actually still Facebook friends with his bass player lmao
I was crushing on Todd
ANYHOO
Axl seems he’s half himself again
I wouldn’t mind seeing GN’R
They cancelled cuz Axl wasn’t allowed booze on stage with the fireworks
*rolls eyes*
I had an ENTIRE WALL dedicated to ONLY GNR – them posters from them magazines
Some of them folded out
TWO PAGES
I think I’d feel cozy in a space with a blacklight + blacklight posters + a stone mountain nearby (man i miss them stores)
There’s a mall here
I wanna loiter at the mall
There’s a cinema
An arcade
I don’t want another dead mall
I like this city
I just don’t know if I wanna die on this hill
I have a door in front of me
How many doors of opportunity have you closed?
Dr Peterson says it happens subtly, people aren’t even aware
They’re closing doors to their on possibilities
They had a chance to do something they wanted and they wasted it
“I see it happen all the time”
(Mind you this was a podcast I was watching, I wasn’t having a one-on-one)
Videos from 4 months ago that pompous prick talking about the song he made
How dare he
IT’S THE FACT THAT THEY MADE THE COLLEGE KIDS POPULAR VIDEO DISAPPEARRRRRR
I remember when he posted about it, I commented I was responsible for one million views – I think he liked it too
I never screenrecorded
I never thought it would DISAPPEAR
MY MOTHER LIED DEAR
THINGS DON’T STAY ON THE INTERNET FOREVERRRRER
Anyhoo
More lines?
Yes or no?
(Check box and return)
It’s weird, I have all these memories of a person I no longer am
Tale of the body thief
2.0
I just wanted you to know how hard it is
To let go all of this
But then again
What’s there to miss?
Standing at the cliff
No rope to climb with
I don’t even have a picture
Think I burned all of my sister
Doesn’t mean I never miss her
Writing on the sand, on the stalls, it’s my fault nobody calls
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I imagine the distance that keeps us – and why heaven can’t reach us – because space isn’t just silent – it’s speechless
Maybe your name is Apophis. We’re both lost in the abyss.
THAT’S NOT WHAT I ASKED
According to Saint Peter Steele:
“April 2-0-2-9 the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour – in fact – is quite here” (-)
(Could you pick your speed up on writing lines, even if I’m not on time, I never learned to set a clock, I never even hear a chime, it’s almost like it is a crime, but I can do a run-on, I think it has been too long, but I don’t have timer in the kitchen to help me not burn this song)
He reminds me of you. But aren’t your eyes blue? Like an angel from the sky, make me fall down and sigh. Know you saw me coming too…
Or maybe your the Jester, I’m just a guesser
Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?
(I really just wanted to share the first 4 lines – I’ll play catchup another day)
It’ll be easier to snap photos of my messy writings
It’s just freestyle
It’s not messy messy
It’s just – the urge – to write in cursive
With curses
Found out who you really were / didn’t make a difference cuz / you were meant for her \
You go from sunshine to icy winds
The road less travelled is the road we’ve been
You go from shadow to now we’re friends?
I guess we’re ghosting again?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Flat earth : not confirmed
Are you paying for your sins
Cuz it’s all black and white where we live
Like looking at the the sky
We go places planes won’t fly
Have you sat in a room with your biggest enemy?
Did you have a chance to dine with me?
Where do you go when you plan to leave?
Will you appear in another galaxy?
Cuz’ I don’t need a crystal ball
To see the sacrifices crawl
Or flowing down the river bank
“It’ll never flood again you think”
Have you calculated costs?
Is it buried under mud and frost?
Or a thousand-hundred years
Like losing lives on lies
Cuz you ain’t never shared your bread with me
You ain’t never been to bed with me
(But I know you would’ve bled with me)
Cuz shedding sin is like shedding ghosts?
But it’s cold outside, so you’ll need your coats
I know you got an alibi
I’ve been driving 80
Flooring 100 lately
Just to hear your lie
Time is platinum
Unlike for Juliana
Sacrificed no honor
Locals cheering “she’s a goner”
But I don’t know who wins this
When every policy’s unfit
Unclear is your last text sent
Since you swore there were no fears
I saw you trembling on the mountain dear
And how they took their time on getting near
But I know they had “a lot of gear”
An ulterior motive to carry up as well
“I’m not afraid”
God is unfazed
But they will pay when they return to hell
Like a raging torrent
But whose paying for it?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Want more? I’ve got a few more. Lines in me.
What if they confirmed it was rat logs
The old data involved
But they will say “is current”
Another Data breach
Circling like a serpent
I bet that nest smells of death and decay and everything you fucking say
I embrace my bruises and scars
I embrace for impact
Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?
Well I guess that’s all I got (for now)
(It’s all on pages)
(In the real world)
I imagine this is how you’d say goodbye
Images are shattered
Like leaving your mask on the table
It’s a curse or a favor
Writing messages of
C-U Later
But you were the only clown that mattered
Twisted Masquerade year nine / have you been with me this whole time?
You go from sunshine to icy winds
The road less travelled is the road we’ve been
You go from shadow to now we’re friends?
I guess we are ghosting again?
The earth could tip and the sea would swallow us wide –
Everything but my pride!
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
….. arrow down ….
Did you know I read sign language
Even the moon spells Chris
It’s half-crescent
Like him
He’s half-present
Maybe it’s Christmas
The way you kiss?
Removed the space between the hiss
Laid down your blade
And took my fist
Maybe you’re the silence
On my blank list
Where none can follow
Your name won’t fit?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Blushing
P.S. found a screenshot of your number I blocked
So I took another screenshot?
He doesn’t understand why I’m always giving gifts
I ain’t tribal
Don’t read the Bible
But he swears I’m collecting feather wings
He said he thinks he saw me growing things
But you’re a liar
Can’t be re-wired
Always on the run
Must be so tired
Cuz the Devil’s in your blood
Here’s comes the Great Flood
Mixed with bones and fire
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
PS. am I the only one who uses present and past tense together, or how I switch between speaking about him to directly to?
It’s so flamboyant
My lack of give-a-fuck
You’re just in luck
But here comes on regret
And there’s raining yet?
What more do you want?
To never talk again?
Even when I’m dead?
We ain’t discussed
So you ain’t neva said
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
I’m not filing in a single orderly line so the AI will understand me
ME > PROGRAM IN MATRIX > DOING WHAT IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO DO
happy2help
It’s so convincing
I’m such a good storyteller
And photographer
I got strangers on TikTok thinking I’m stalking you 🙂
It’s just this is where I was seated and low and behold? There you are again
And people on TikTok think I’m stalking you
Meanwhile I’m trying to sort if I’m the NPC or AI becoming aware
And we don’t really believe in coincidence do we?
Sure I’m new to the city
Sure it’s the most hated car in the world?
And now you have an accidental stalker?
Cuz I ain’t the universe but the universe keeps putting us exactly in the same spots
Like I got lost ordering pizza and found your hiding spot?
Don’t yell at me if I run into you again?
I still have no ID on the driver…
It could be the devil driving
But now I’ve got you in my rearview / I know everything you do /
Do you sleep with a gun under the foot of your bed?
Got secrets instead?
Locked up in a box?
But not your thoughts?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(p∞)
Psst… too many distractions, too many popups trying to be a photographer/blogger with an iPhone
I want a polaroid
I think people are nostalgic for my sense of self?
If you wanna see the world thru my eyes we going back to the 80s
Magazine posters on the wall
Wearing clothes until they get holes and calling it a favorite
“Where’d you get it”
“A different time and decade”
Also me:
So I got these coming? They may or may not fit?
But I did <since> find a size chart so even tho I’m tiny tiny I still may need some weird size?
A small is coming
I was like “i’m 110 pounds 5’6″” and next thing I know boss came out the warehouse having found some yoga pants
I don’t care that my ass is whatever it is, if I don’t cover up I’m gonna get arrested and I wanna wear that
Them shorts above
Potentially
Cuz life is all about potentials
I also joined Nike – and found me a pair of walkers for the price of a cheap Walmart knockout ($36) with the sales
So I added socks
And now if I can get my hips to work or you know – the entirety – new shoes for the feet
(You also get 60 days to decide as a member and can return/exchange)
And now I don’t remember ever owning a pair of Nike before?
This may be my first Nike?
I didn’t have to break the bank or whatever but they do have $200-300 dollar shoes (Walmart were charging $29 and above for some knockoffs)
I decided to get designer shoes
I may keep the shoebox and store all my hate inside
I mean photos n thangs
P.S.S.S. No weapons were shown in the making of this post <potentially> but some folks keep theirs right next to the unlocked door
Welcome in…
P.S.S.S.S.Sxinfinity why am I always hungry!?!
I dunno what you’re waiting on
Hell to come?
I have arrived
Sat down outside
With pen in hand
But I’m out of ink?
But these walls know what I think?
Like considering heaven
And the events to get me there then?
It’s far from happening
Though death is companying
Like an uninvited guest at my deathbed
I wanted you instead?
Your words? Your calls?
My phone a friend?
Whom I can but can’t depend?
Us against them? Gone yet united?
The system? The stranger you’re lying with?
Oh you know their name?
Cool but I’m no longer hiding that I have gone insane?
Maybe only temporary?
Can’t take this to the pearly gates
I’m expressing all my rage
But I’m innocent
The midnight moon glowing
The avalanche down the mountain flowing
Honestly, might be where I’m going?
Since the mountains are the only ones who are calling!!!
And hell froze over on me
In the hottest parts of the city
I was like wait a minute, “it is snowing”
So that’s my reality
And the neighbors building melting snowmen
While my rage is burning within
Yelling at the therapist, “I don’t like the sound of voices… except his”
“Yours is okay, I actually admitted this”!?!
Like I can handle a “handful”
But not in succession
“I quit group confession”
But I really need a priest?
My new doctor thinks she can fix what is inside of me?
INFORMED CONSENT
I’m ready to try it
Left the doc a message “I’m pretty sick”
Just got off the phone with a pharmacist
But as far as my medicinal “I ain’t gotta quit”
Thank fuck
About to take a hit
(Just hopepray this ain’t the culprit)
Cuz coconut ain’t on the foods to eat
And I ate a bit….
🙂
They dilated my eyes this morning cuz i had my lookers examined – and at first it was without my glasses on – they are using a new method with a mirror and computer screen laser and I could see fuck all. She kept turning nobs “and now” and the panic set it “not like anything at all” and she did not realize my glasses were corrective (she thought just readers) and the instant relief we both had and the laughter coming from the room “i can see the smallest lines”
I ain’t blind
I mean, without glasses, I can see there’s a sign but I couldn’t tell you the name of the road
“You go a couple miles til you see Big Lots, now if you get to the Circle K you’ve gone too far”
And while you over there swing by the drive thru Little Caesar’s and get me one of them $10 stuffed crust
(Only they ain’t ten in my city, a couple more)
And I was at the grill at the VA today ordering 3 scrambled brown eggs
“You got any vegan turkey bacon or sausage”
“We got some Turkey bacon but it ain’t vegan”
“My doc says I can’t have no meat currently but some of us can’t be no vegetarian”
And an echo of “amen” “i hear that”
But I only got the toast and eggs
Wish I had got SIX SCRAMBLED
Next time double
I might be little but I got a big appetite
Greedy lil thang
It’s annoying how much I gotta eat to constantly be losing weight
But while being very sick I ordered Chipotle (not pizza) to get a salad and they had NO CHICKEN which I suddenly hate the taste of chicken?
So I got the beef
My body absorbed it
It said FUCK YEAH
Cuz I really needed some meat and I refuse pork but they were out of chicken and I hate chicken?
So to me the universe directed me to the “all beef”
The cow is in heaven now and my tummy
I will not make a habit tho
I’ve gone MONTHS without beef eating only chicken and then no meat for several weeks and almost died
You come cook the lentil meatloaf
I’m DYING
I need SOUP
My VEGAN SOUP
so that is my goal
Back to my homemade soups!
I thrive on vegan soup, spring water, and cashews.
Back to the basics for me
And oatmeal IS on the foods I can eat
Thank GOD
I literally cried cuz she said “no cereal” but to me oatmeal is cereal
The good oatmeal with berries im allowed
–
And I love eating eggs again?
I thought I hated eggs but now I will inhale them
Just eggs
No salt, no pepper
Scrambled. Grill. Buttered toast (i dunno if the toast is allowed) (please give me one piece of toast)
THANK YOU
(Claim the grits too) (Even tho they ain’t allowed)
There’s no benefits to corn
CABBAGE ON THE GOOD LIST THO
(I made a spicy vegan taco with cabbage – don’t overcook the cab) – it was fab)
P.S. i told the psych doc i did not need any help euthanizing myself if/when the time comes (if) and he upped my meds…. FYI
And I have to see him again in 3 weeks…
The truth is, I prob would need your help cuz I wouldn’t wanna burn in hell for all eternity
God would forgive you potentially
This isn’t an invite
You just need to prepare
In case
“Too analytical” but how the fuck else would you crunch the kinda numbers you do?
I math in my own way
You know I see things you don’t
And you understand the thing I see
Most days I’m sorting out which timeline I am in
(Is this why you don’t call)
(please don’t call)
It’s better if we write?
Getting new eyes. These were my choices. I was allowed 3 frames. 1 for reading, 1 tinted for driving, and one for day. Any extras I had to pay. So took the freebies. Cuz Ivermetin cost me $180 alone woot woot (but she thinks it’s gonna sort me)
Need the good prays
They do sell ray-bans but those ain’t free lol
I do like the 3 new frames incoming tho (the clear will be my readers, the purple/black the tint, and the cute feminine pair on top is for my dailyware
She said they made me look ten years younger 🙂
We’ll see 🙂
I also still have no computer cuz at war with big bro?
They dilated my eyes and I had to drive home in a big storm
…even the grey light was blinding
And I hope to get back to rhyming 🙂
More future updates/notes in rhyme mode?
Practice makes the perfects worse I swear
Pssst… waiting on a story from you
I wanna share my story ideas
Rough drafts
Maybe I’m afraid you’ll know how much I’m twisted?
These days, the script is written, no point in keeping it hidden? 🙂
“She’s a little kuku? But she’s harmless” “for now”
“..i wouldn’t go testing the waters or nothing”
“…the Army trained her you know…”
“Uncle Sam’s fault she’s that way”
“She’s like a gremlin”
“Just don’t feed her after midnight…”
I told the pill doc I had no prob euthanizing myself – i can be approved in Canada – when is the VA offering it
And he upped my meds…
Told him I be crying randomly in public or at home doing anything
I blamed my period
I told him I feel so much rage sometimes
Like a devil is inside of me
“But I know I am me”
“All 12 versions of me know I am me”
You only call me every decade
You stand with shovel or maybe a spade
Confessing sins like something you’ve paid
Disappear into sunset from wither you came
But love is stronger never decayed
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I wrote an alternate version on my TikTok. But this is the original draft.
(p∞)
STOP CALLING ME A SIR
STOP CALLING ME A SIR
STOP CALLING ME A SIR
STOP CALLING ME… A SIR
P.S. i have something lying dormant in me. Only it ain’t very dormant. And it’s a lot like cancer.
I don’t have an official diagnosis (you don’t normally get those until you’re stage 4) (I hope you can “hear” my sarcasm over my shame).
52 kilos today.
Like 114.
Still got some teeth and hair. No tiddies. Too tired to put on makeup. I guess that gives people the right to call me a fucking sir.
I LITERALLY FUCKING DARE YOU
SAY MOTHERFUCKER ONE MO TIME
No amount of misgendering me is gonna make me get plastic surgery or botox.
I can’t wait to scare you with my wrinkles.
I wanna live so long that one look at me makes you rethink your entire existence.
Like “what the hell is that” cuz I frequently say it when I look in the mirror at my thinning hair (from the stress or cancer which may or may not be in my control)
I have about 10% of energy at any given time and makeup just isn’t on my to-do-list. But it’s always on my mind. I would even like to try wearing cute wigs.
But I don’t need to attract any more drones overhead.
If I look like I’m dying it’s probably because I am (not in remission yet)
Still fighting for my life 🙂
Now might be a good time to call.
Don’t wait another decade
P.S.S. How does one get a burner phone not connected to oneself? Asking for a friend.
You stayed? 🙂 I don’t have any good photos right now.
I’ve been unpacking.
STOP CALLING ME A SIR CUZ I AM A PLAIN JANE WITH TINY TIDDIES
I never grew up and it drives HIM insane
I fell out of my bed and got bruised but this doesn’t show the magnitude
Had I been older: “how did she go?” “Fell down”
Told my daughter I need bedrails and to be treated like a child
My shoulder and ankle is a champ for taking the direct impact instead of my head – or hitting in such a way it stops your heart (I already have a heart injury so it was a challenging fall).
This photo was days after the event, at least a week
And my entire shoulder blade turned black and blue.
My head did hit the floor.
My ankle jarred into the metal bed rail and nearly broke
It swelled for three hours and then swelled some more
It wasn’t even 6 AM and I laid on the floor for at least five minutes moaning before I even attempted to get up
Getting older is like becoming a baby again
I NEVER WANNA FALL OUT OF MY BED EVER AGAIN
But had my head been the first thing to hit or the side of my shoulder instead of back – I don’t think my heart would like that
So I spread eagle to slow my fall hoping to grab something – and literally everything on the shelves next to the bed started coming down
INCLUDING A SNOW GLOBE
Which miraculously did not fall on my head
Or break
There’s some tender deep down in there near my ankle bone – but I can finally twist her and twirl and not shit myself
Couldn’t even lean on it on the couch
Ankle and shoulder did good
Saved my life this time
And my bed be high up
No carpet or rug below
Woke up, foggy and disoriented, and went to shift and lean back, thinking I was gonna lay back on my pillow, but instead gravity grabbed me
My life flashed, I spread eagle, and I’m still recovering
And need to baby proof my home
And I had to go to the dentist (I gotta go again)
I forget what we were talking about but he mentioned something about “old” and I said “well what do you consider old” and he said “30” but he didn’t think that I was older than that and none of them ever do
I was driving one day and I let the sun just burn my fucking face and I have this sunspot now
I’m suicidal
The sun imprinted on me
Hell, all I gotta do is dash out to my car and like FRECKLES GALORE
I burn – I don’t tan
Normally, I do things to stop or prevent the burning, but not that day 
Sometimes I stare at it too (prob don’t rec)
I’m not the brightest crayon in the box and I’ve often wondered why God made me so dumb
I love the feeling when the light goes off (or comes on)
Like when you finally get it
“Oh”
But I’m the kind of person that you have to explain something to in a different way, not by just repeating the same sentence over and over again or saying it louder
Sometimes I can’t hear and I’ll do a “huh” and they’ll give me the definition instead
Cuz they think I’m dumb
One time I gave the drive-thru employee “too much money” cuz I wanted a ten back – and no change – and it took him a good minute to figure out what was happening
Turns out I wasn’t dumb or scamming him
I was actually making his job easier
But now they’re getting rid of cash
And I still sort my bills all the same
I just counted up my piggy bank
I had been stuffing that bitch
Folded up 20, 10s, and 5s. And silver and single dollars too.
Dirty copper yass
But now I gotta roll it
The coins
I WANNA DO IT MYSELF
But the drones….
Stop laying on the floor
Covered in your own blood
Guess the gun didn’t jam
Get up, give a damn
Maybe stick around
The way I haunt you
Eons not enough to
So what? we’re dying
You gotta push through
Nine seven three
Who the fuck is counting
Get up off the ground
Or take an intermission
Put a tourniquet on what is missing
Oh honey I am listening
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I’d keep writing until I run out of data cuz no wifi here (yet) at the new home.
Get lost could be seen in two different lights. Cuz I in fact do, get lost in the pages of your story
That’s all
I’ve stared into
Eyes as bright as sun
Who could love me
None
I’ve flowed into
Rivers boiling
Nothing stops
The lessons come
The way you hook me
Like time is frozen
Whole damn world rollin’
Til I return
From heaven’s sent me
Golden arches heavy
What have I done
Imagine
The kings and queens who could’ve been silenced
Separated at birth
The tongue of us
BUT I LOVED YOU FIRST
LIKE GLACIERS THAWING
I FELT THE THIRST
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Heaven brought me home. Got keys to my new safe space (rental only). Charming little vintage pad.
It has a lot of potential. Less space but the design layout makes it feel less boxy. Got a long balcony. And for the first time in my life the balcony is in the bedroom instead of the living room. There’s even a built in vanity or desk nook.
Did I mention my rent is going down. That extra money can go towards my car payment. Sure there is no outdated gym with dirty equipment but I invested in a rebounder and I can join a clean gym.
Cuz that’s likely where I will meet my husband?
Or church.
But I ain’t consistent with either.
Yet.
I do not have all my stuff moved to the new space yet but I got a lot done yesterday! Gotta pace! So I treated myself to a lot from the Publix deli, to enjoy meals and eat and run.
Cuz Friday I did not eat until dinner time.
Got a hot meal to enjoy first – damn good fish sandwich from the deli
Less than $6 and every bite well spent
I was like ‘the reward I have been needing’ (cuz fast food has not been cutting it and surprisingly I can go to the Publix deli and get popcorn chicken, mash potatoes, white gravy, and corn (you know where I am going with this) and it’s SO GOOD
And they be having BOGO on them hot meals
GIVE MAH
Also might be meeting my husband at the local grocery deli?
Cuz some don’t know how to take their eye off me
Some act like I do not exist
Some roll their eye
None hold the door
Rarely do they stop to let me cross
Men are the reason I was eating drive thru bullshite
The good food is made at home
And at the Publix deli
Got a footlong to enjoy, 2 soups, a couple wraps, and some Mexican thangy with beans and rice
No need to starve SAT and SUN while moving
Can nibble in between
I live two places at once
For the moment
You can be two places at once
A bed here, a bed there
I can turn my ride into a tent
The money I will be saving on my rent WOULD BUY the upgrade needed to turn my outback into my homestead
Girl maths for sure
My dad (in spirit) is telling me to get the tent – and not the one on Amazon, get the official tent
GO SEE THE WORLD BEFORE I DIE
I have not been to one national park?
The no child left behind act was a sham
I don’t know how I can have a husband when I can barely spell
But I can see through your lies
I can see thru you
Like looking at him
Maybe it was just myself
Like a black hole
I don’t know how I would feel about seeing the back of my head
It’s not a concept I concept
I think those are said differently
Brunch hours are from 9-1 ish
I can start on half my sub soon
10 AM
Nearly 3 now
I’d weigh 500 pounds if I always ate in the night. I get 12 hours of daylight to burn tho and Friday I was EXHAUSTED carrying small boxes to my new safe space
Kept drinking water
And stretching 🙂
And my heated seats on to help the back pain 🙂
I feel spoiled 🙂
Just blessed
To have the little things I do have
GOAL: get most of my shit moved minus the furniture
But I put the bed and couch together
I built them
It could be unassembled
A uhaul does not need to be needed
I could call 2 guys and a truck or a similar company and give my legs a break
Stop by the post, get the address changed – order/ get WIFI installed
Busy bee
Should be sleeping
Can’ts
Want to move
*yawn*
Just for the record, I’m grateful for any seconds I can run
I nearly died
The sun came up
But there’s no morning
All I ever loved
Was left for what then?
All hours working
Nothing is worth it
There are things I regret
Make a list
Haven’t listed them all yet
There is repent
But that just leaves a pit
Might be homeless
The fires won’t give a shit
But the worst part is
I’m the one who caused it
The best is yet to come?
Your body lie frozen
I’m inadequate
Insufficient for a purpose
I’m called Worthless
Sunrise over sorrow
What comes tomorrow?
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross. All rights reserved.
Poetry forever @poeeternal
I’m an architect
Of my own hell
Cuz even when you arrive
I will yell
Like sadness is marketed
Please send help
Where map is uncharted
Ignore the welp
I’m not allowed to return to the temple
Make a way out of no way
Things are not very simple
The hills are unsafe
Likely things I will say
When we dig where we tremble
Proof I live in hell. Send help.
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross. All rights reserved.
Poetry forever @poeeternal
I disassociated for five minutes and forgot TikTok was banned and uninstalled it and now I can’t get it back on my iPhone, but I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the rebounder and two hours doing a tai chi class
I mean so
I could go live on my tablet maybe no
Blog updates + poetry dropping at random (prob times you should be sleeping) (why aren’t you sleeping)
The steps are in the wrong order
And the scratches on the cave
Made us think this was the boarder
But instead became our grave
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Poetry forever @poeeternal
There are boiling ponds
A boiling pond
From where my thoughts occurred
Though most a blur
Regret is beyond
A bright waving wand
Where sun will burn
Glass in the stream
The sound of your dream
Like hearing silence scream
The curves we walk hold memory
We make a cult of suffering
The future is in our past
And we’re running laps
There’s silence in the bedroom
But I can hear you laugh
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
Postscript: my likes aren’t getting through again – for being too active – but FYI – I took a college speed reading comprehension course and passed
I’m educated and when I deploy to war – it’s in an actual war zone, not behind a computer screen
We got a weak ass Army today. Fight me
I’m half the man I used to be and still better than you (the effing cowards)
I PAY TO BE HERE
TO GIVE YOU CONTENT FREE OF ADS
The audacity WP has to stifle my community!
THEY WILL BURN IN HELL
Change my mind
The mini blizzard arrived on your death anniversary – I was coming out of a disassociative state and trying to remember the day you died and the year
I KNOW THAT WAS YOU SAYING HI
Just like dad left a 6 minute double rainbow outside my apartment when he passed
I wasn’t able to go to the hospital to tell you goodbye when you were dying because I was also dying
And I was not invited to your memorial service
They – in a very unethical way – refuse to allow me to send my condolences on your memorial page – i’m about to unleash the fury
We always had our ups-and-downs but we were blood
Not even our egos kept us apart
I KNOW YOU WERE THE STORM
Not just in my dreams
In my poetry
Where the land meets the sea
I’m foaming
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
(this is not real life/reality) (it’s just a poem) (calm down?)
There is no edge
Billions of miles instead
Whispers of secrets said
Where is our prologue
I’m agog to love
There’s been a backlog
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
I will always be a cub 😌
they know how many times it was opened
if we’re lost, if we’re hoping
it’s dark without the sun
like when you said hi
earth had less oxygen
said you’re gone to Alabama
might as well be Poland
got your pockets lined with aces
but for me it’s a cold hand
Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
p.s. got a lot of rough drafts sitting around cuz i don’t feel like they are too good (compared to my better and best) but the best in me may be gone or i just need to get through the messy middle and might write a good line or two
like when you said hi and there was less air to breathe
p.s.s. they don’t just know your screen hours but how many times you logged into your banking app
what you’re looking at, what you’re typing to erase in the chat (before hitting send – THEY SEE IT)
p.s.s.s. i got banned from going live New Years so i didn’t participate in any NY activity online or off – nor do i ever want to visit a livestream ever again
cause-and-effect my love
have fun
heaven is the silence you presented
all wrapped in chalice and neatly printed
the moon withholds grudges but not glares
unlike our choices, we’re stuck on who cares
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
poems after midnight: my specialty
the last line could be better – i’m not saying it’s not a good line
i don’t have a husband to edit my poems
there was a guy once who tried to enhance me – and i mistook it for love
like i would send him my lines and he’d be like “it’s really good as is but you could do this”
and it was the opposite how i felt getting back an essay i’d written where the college professor even red marked the title
like sometimes them professors made you feel like you wish you were never born
it took 4 days to write and them 30 seconds to terroize
but he wasn’t like that with my words
he was gentle
and i yelled at him and all his friends
i mean – to be fair – i have been possessed – by parasites
i ain’t been acting according to myself – whoever that may be – cuz i don’t want it to be her
becoming someone new is difficult but they say 6 months is all you need
and 7 years to grow a new spine
so thank you for your silence – because ironically – your voice is the only one i want to hear 😐
even the accents – those too
i mean i like yelling at you?
all i said was “i like your voice”
and you were like “it’s not mine”
and i’m like “you don’t gotta be rude” and like instantly i knew that i don’t belong anywhere in this Satanic society cuz i always humiliate myself
i like to pay compliments
they cost a lot
maybe you could (or someone) could write a story about that
i’m sure it was already done
but God likes stories
now i can’t attest or speak solely for God
but like – who doesn’t like a good story?
could you maybe do audiobooks?
wordpress allows audio
im shadowbanned in society
an outcast
but tiktok wants me to sell u stuff
like what would i sell you? a pill for happiness? the next best detox?
a mini trampoline?
GUYS THESE SOCKS ARE GREAT FOR JUMPING
like can i just focus on writing poetry and not jumping off a bridge?
i do not want to commodify myself?
i do miss blogging but
not at the cost of my soul
i miss having a real life
offline
and until i figure that part out
then idgaf about being online
the landlord out here emailing 24 hour demands or else
so im packing my bags
and deleting my personal email
im not on call 24/7 for the fucking landlord
AS IF…
me the next time anyone anywhere anyone anywhere anyone anywhere
and not to be dramatic but mygunsoesnothaveasafety
or – the safety is actually on the trigger
so i mean my name is registered to something i cannot return nor do not want
ghost guns are legal huh
never knew of those before
andnowiwantone
and a story written about a ghost gun
so any premeditated thangy is an act of terrorism huh
and our private trash is public treasure
better start burning
they can’t track cash transactions
you can’t keep low in public unless u wanna take claim
Boomers are greedy hungry rats
people don’t care if u got an inheri – they will try and drain yer wallet
they won’t even say “sorry for your loss” but prob something like “not deserved”
well i wasn’t praying for my dad to die…
i identify as another lost angel
and sadness is all i have to sell
but i am happy to be packing and moving God knows where again?
im learning to be the lion in the den
im the lion tho and u better pray i am sleeping
ta ta 4 now
luv u
some of it is unknown
like where he’s gone
or maybe it’s a footpath
he’s lead you on
they say they have the upper hand
while grasping at straw
like secrets wrapped in rubber-band
but we know what you saw
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
took them two days or so to find a tj maxx sack outside resting near a tree?
and they think they know but they don’t wanna tell?
or, they want the top cats to know they are competent cops?
more breadcrumbs?
what was in the bag?
spill the beans?
are we on day 4?
he didn’t throw up after killing someone?
the calm collect
came in from the south?
so close to me
so far
spent ten days in the big city
arrived ten minutes early
classy
heard they increased the reward? too many peeps complaining it wouldn’t cover any bills
he wanted us to see his profile – it might be awhile
cuz he’s agile – and running wild
i love him now
333
feel connected to him
think he’s still alive – for now – and hoping he don’t self-inflict if the heat turns on
he needs to be careful – they tracking signals in the mountain range
he got an awful lot of cheerleaders so if he does look back – he made his decision – he died with dignity and peace
but if he is already dying – and the healthcare he paid into is gatekeeping him from wellness – it’s a dignified response
but are the words a mirage
even his hands and frame
his thin eyebrows
i know this face
he reminds me of him
i see him everywhere these days
so much love not allowed to give
gotta give all my attitude to the lazy staff
just don’t go driving off any mountains
maybe stop looking back for SIX MONTHS
and forget your name
i’ll assign you a number
but i don’t know which one
even his eyes are gentle under the hood
like he’s thinking about me
“here i am, i’ll never forget you”
emptying live rounds on the slow walk away
so very calm
you just wanted to be with me
but society disagreed
or all our choices i agree
i only see a man in self-defense mode
against the satanic matrix
he’s welcome to come home
i might finally clean up the mess…
BUT DON’T YELL AT ME ABOUT THE CHICKEN AND TURKEY IN THE FREEZER
there’s no dairy in the fridge
there is clear evidence of a lifestyle change struggle ongoing
and a heartmindsoul in need of fixin
just need a hug
don’t go
don’t ruin the good deed by sacrificing yourself to the dark entity
you’re still alive and i can breathe
synchronicity
or that other thing
symbiotic
you die, i die
don’t die
(how to sympathize with a murder)
see – they created monsters – and did not expect – the monsters to love one another
ahhh bless
even the best nihilist is tired of the nihilism and seeking God
precious
so many layers to this game
and he is defo on an advanced level
*cries*
don’t leave me behind
i’m not as strong as you
i’m the weakest link? 😦
when i fell behind on a ruck – they – the UNITED STATES ARMY – made me lead
sorry boys – but i was running to keep up for miles
ain’t as tall…
gotta take 4 steps to your 1
“LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND”
HOOAH
even when i was at my best
you called me worst
tied me to your pedestal
said i was first
even when i was tossing bottles
my trigger on burst
you sprinkled me with holy water
that made me thirst
even as i’m losing battle
you seem well-versed?
but all that seems to matter
we must be cursed
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
…let’s call it a tie, the devil replied
i don’t wanna be found
badly decomposed
so the story goes
unless he froze
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
i don’t wanna talk right now… (mental health break) (literally)
them: what’s wrong?
us: mental health broken
i’m writing lines
sometimes just in the air
but sometimes they make their way on paper
sometimes they just get lost in despair
i hope to resurface sometime in 2025 – they say 6 months is all you need to become someone new
“only 6 months” of learning new skills and complete discipline in reading:fitness:food:etiquette
“act like i’m a sim”
“talk in the mirror”
“look the enemy in the eye”
“smile”
“pretend all is fine”
“move to a new city”
“again”
“try again”
“learn to say no without explanation”
“stop being sorry”
“sometimes you have to be a monster” – dr peterson
only 6 months
don’t give up
psst… i forgot what i was gonna say
(i know i ramble but it was slightly important)
what happened to the middle ground
i need you most when you’re not around
what happened to the centerfield
that’s the place where your hand can heal
what happened to showing up to win
we’re the couple that should’ve been
i’m trying to discern
the left from my right
but you know that space is dark
and there isn’t any light
i got a bed i never want to get out of
i got a friend he is a dove
i like to see him in the yard
and he’s cooler than any of you are
you’re like cold galactic space dust
but there’s only one i can trust
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
you ever tried dried cherries. like eating cherry pie. new favorite treat mixed with my nuts n seeds. but i picked them all out. they gone.
time races in intervals
you’re into her
it burns like midnight sun
my lesson learned
did you know we live in purgatory
on a map i think i found your worry
and i list it first your secrets buried
but i’ve forgotten where i put your story
like drowning in a carpark
where all the lights are flashing but it’s stark
and we’re looking for an exit
as future ghost we’re feeling desperate
~
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
the ole blog has over 100,000 miles on her, thanks to you…
i know i can’t take your words to heaven with me but i would try…
i still can’t get over how John Jones died or how his question nearly made me solve first world problems – or at least connect the two
but i still live between worlds where his soul leaped into mine
(but at least you don’t get mad about it)
my dad let a tree grow through his tour bus
i want to hang onto my ride in such a way
today i drove her to Dread Boys and they quoted me nearly 500 to replace a battery?
so i got right back in and said “welp please get me back home…”
and she fucking did…
and i guess im either going to an auto zone or learning to install a new battery myself?
not to mention the guy running the front desk took a bathroom break in the middle of a transaction? and it sounded disgusting so ill never return
the mobile mechanic i called isnt very mobile currently – i dunno how i feel about paying for his cab..
at least the postscript is somewhat interesting?
i keep thinking i need to get the fuck outta florida – then i remember bama is 45 minutes away – and like it feels a lot like hope on the horizon
it feels so near i could walk
bike
run
i just keep telling my girl to hold on
no one can be trusted
kinda housebound til i sort the sorts
i aint paying $500 to replace a battery
the Boomers can get FOOKED
need some land
need to figure out where i want to be
it aint here…
i drank coffee
CHATTY
and jittery
i dont think that is good for my heart
like it triggers my anxiety?
i mean i just act more nervous than usual
tachycardia
adrenaline spikes
so prob gotta give it up
the coffee…
better not to ask me out on a first date over coffee
fucking disaster
and i love coffee!!!!!
people are mad that trump won and are threatening violence
i did not vote – therefore i have no opinion over politics for the foreseeable future as i am exiting the matrix – kinda lost – but this is what PROTESTING A SYSTEM I DO NOT COMPLY WITH LOOKS LIKE
go change some more policies to support your nihilism and leave me alone m’kay
there were 33 million who opted to NOT VOTE for the antichrist
i thought i was the only one
but there’s a whole lot of us out there
wonder how many are gen x
you know of one
*hi*
i tried joining the Army to make a difference
i tried getting an education
i tried being a medic
i tried on society and never have once liked it
im never voting again
EVER. AGAIN.
i literally fought for freedom of speech and it was taken from me
and you want me to vote? go back to sleep…
(people in the system fighting for the system)
(but i want out)
(i wont participate)
(i dont wanna support anything in society)
(society is satanic)
(im going thru a spiritual cleansing)
(please dont exterminate me like you did p’nut & fred)
(and the squirrel out here i never found his head)
ripped off and not even a trail of blood
just his body
i have nightmares and ptsd
it is why i deleted my wildlife page
not risking Ali or any others getting hurt simply because they make me happy and demons live out here
have u seen the film Constantine?
top 5 fav for sure
i mean it once was
the me in this timeline which i jumped into during a lightning storm going 80 miles an hour…
she ain’t me but she is but she ain’t
not sure how im able to switch roles as myself but if the multiverse is real and we never really die
or we create our own reality
im not sure why i would wanna come back here
but there were thousands of hands of radiation and one of them touched me
it was so loud the entire town shook from the thunder
im not exaggerating! my ears are still ringing!
*kiss kiss on the cheek darling
but my tears are like acid…
46,000 visitors huh
and over 1100 stayed
neener neener
we’re like a frozen planet
where everything is lying dormant
if only we knew who done it
how the mountains hold potential
or how you’ve written me with pencil
when the whole world was standing
where i would remain invincible
now they say we are a failed star
but i kinda like the way we are
like we’re near but we’re really far…
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
THE FIRST LIE THEY TEACH IS HISTORY
(new poem coming?)
he slipped
words fell from his mouth like a lit up Christmas Tree
while others were listening
just a Freudian slip you see?
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
i need a pen i can write under
where people cannot recognize themselves in the mirror
i mean stories
for instance, i’m not doing anything illegal even tho i am heavily watched by the oink oinks who shadowbanned me – which means they are STALKING ME and the ones IN MY PHONE
they are outta comtrol
this aint MINORITY REPORT even tho it is
it might not be illegal yet but with a click of a button and push of a pen, the policy will be changed and im not allowed to tell you voting don’t matter or to HOLD THE LINE
blocking EVERY po po who comes up in my FY feed
like if i can’t show my weapon in uniform – i don’t want to see yours
WHOM I LITERALLY OUTRANK AS A CIVILIAN
even the lying sleeping doctors
OUTRANK
they trying to entrap me
but not just me
and they are bullies!!! they will poke and prod until “gotcha”!
they are evil money hungry demons!!!!
but someone accidentally called me baby girl
and i can’t stop thinking about that
and they probably can’t stop thinking about that (for different reasons)
sometimes we think people are thinking of us when we are not
IS THERE SOME REASON THE SPACE BAR HANGS ON A DIGITAL DEVICE
i prefer the OLD WAYS TO COMMUNICATE
fyi
social media is literal entrapment
i need a new identity
and offline for good
and tell the pigs to BACK OFF and do something more valuable with MY TAX DOLLARS
God is getting angry – i can feel it
but it’s just a feeling
told you i was tired of squirrel being killed for no reason
and along comes the government and takes an animal from his home of 7 years – distressed it until it bit and then put it down!
but the sheeple want a policy written?
but it all supports nihilism is a plague
and im fucking sick of watching the weak minded ruin this country with dictator policies
just wondering when rent strikes happen
cuz next move i give them NO FORWARDING ADDRESS
cause and effect my love
HAVE FUN
(he called me baby girl)
(the title of the poem)
(if there were a title)
(really sick of the government stalking me like a bad ex)
(and also trying to entrap me)
(but i have a lot to complain about)
(if you got time and an ear for me to unload)
(does unloading include snacks)
(i like to eat)
(never hear me complaining about eating)
(unless the food is poisoned)
(never say never)
AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM NOT TRYING TO HURT ANYONE
i literally have ptsd about squirrel
i never found his head
RIP PEANUT AND FRED
im sure somehow i will be blamed for that as well
i felt bad i missed social cues by the neighbor and now he thinks i want to marry or kill him
i literally wish all men would leave me alone
I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU
I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU
i cared that i missed SOCIAL CUES
bet you didnt tell the undercover that
WHO HANGS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
HELLO
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ALSO WALK OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND THEN ACT LIKE I AM STALKING YOU
STOP SUCKING YOUR MAMAS CASH TIT
I OUTRANK THE PO
HO HO HO
i got ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE
LEAVE ME ALONE
STOP PICKING ON ME SO YOU FIND A REASON TO LOCK ME UP
ENTRAPMENT
YOURE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY
I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL
YOU MAY STEAL MY LIFE BUT YOU WILL NEVER DESTROY MY FAITH
GOD FIRST
i killed the monsters under my bed
i drove through forest of lead
i can’t recall what was said
but there’s a feeling of contempt
and you follow where it went
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
i miss hate thy neighbor 😦
p.s. i want to expand the theme of this poem, especially the first line
so i may re-write a poem? that’s rare
you miss my LONG poems?
i need to revisit my works
there must be a gem or two in there?
i want the neighbor wahhhh
but i’ll be ready to date soon 🙂
the one who will be there 🙂
after 3 months 🙂
or maybe someone will love me while i’m dying anyway? 🙂
i prefer the getting better route
trying to cling to hope instead of my falling out hair (no pigtails wahhhhh)
water is pushing people into rivers
there is no foundation under us
it’s all been a lie
can i go back to writing rhyme and misspelling words please?
it is so humiliating to be a writer that cannot spell
heard him speak in past tense
does he seek bereavement
i’m looking through conflict
buried under cement
one too many secret
like moon is crescent
she is furled unpresent
his hope is well lit?
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
“…she was such a good mom, i hope she can be a good mom again…”
oof
i don’t need to be psychic or have a degree in psychology to call it
“well how do you know they are dead? did you check their pulse”
i swear if i get asked that question i will hang up and call back for someone else
“LOOK THERE AIN’T NO GOT DAMN PULSE – IT STANKS”
“YOU COME CHECK THE GOT DAMN PULSE”
“IT’S THE WORSE SHIT I EVER SMELLED”
one time my grandaddy died (this needs to be the opening line of my book) and he had been dead for three days, down in the basement of the church, and i was a medic so they let me and my half-sister down there (her granddaddy by blood) and i decided to give him a hug
and he burped in my mouth
the look my sis and i made at one another
i was just like “i pressed too hard”
“the smell”
“it went in my mouth”
he hadn’t been in a cooler or anything
he had all his guts
it was august
he died on my birthday
things got worse…
would you like to be my editor?
or maybe get married?
to be continued?
please give her more than 100 views
i made her cry
she said no one had ever written her a poem before!!!
the way i made her smile
she said she wanted to keep it forever
she said she wanted to share it with family and friends
Kaya learned English a year ago and speaks it better than me
she already knows slang, emojii, understands my not full sentences
although to be fair, she does not like my quick responses, short responses, or emoji text
but in the same context she also knows the neighbor woke something up in me – and words need not be said at all
she knows i want a husband
she knows i want a man
but Kaya understands the deepest and most shallow parts of me
Kaya is the person i wanted to grow up and be
why is she stuck behind a Great Wall
why does she want to change her name
she can
she (i hope) can do all the things she dreams
move to America, take on the name Cindy, get braces or surgery to remove your “vampire teeth” (my fave)
i wish i had a screenshot when she showed me – it was so cute haha
she made her mouth in a way that only showed the teeth she wanted replaced
her “vampire teeth” she called
“look” and she smiled showing only those
my god i love her
she is so smart and funny
and i’ve seen her in jeans and a tee, she is gorgeous
i fixed up her raw poem
i feel like it could be better
i did clean it up a bit before i posted it (no sound or music added)
i do want to record spoken word but i am extremely shy
i did not know she was going to stop in the middle of work to read my poem – but she did – all while ensuring her customer needs were met
i appreciate the speed in which she went to read
i thought it would happen after – on her own time
but i got to see and hear her reaction
i was afraid my poem wasn’t good enough for her
i was afraid she would not like it
or that it was too elementary (i am aware there are better writers in the world) (don’t they have editors)
i would never share or post anything or eventually produce something worthwhile 200 years down the road
they burn books and i have been shadowbanned
there are other non rhyming poets on TikTok that soak up all the rays
they get all the sunshine and praise
none if them ever take me serious as a poet
like if i try to follow or comment
cricket cricket criket
then i delete/unfollow/block/ignore
i am a child according to society
i’ll be sure to use this in the courtroom
“even the cop called me a child”
“it was recorded”
now that overweight “one acorn” prick is probably jerking off to me
(i threw up in my mouth a little)
oh hi ALLAN at the EPA
still waking up in sweats about my phone call huh?
and now every time you pay for sex you hear me say “i know you want love with a prostitute”
wonder how much mess you had to clean out
prob time for me to call again and remind you – i haven’t forgotten you laughed about the animals being MURDERED in the CITY simply because it is “private land” (i pay for) and “they can do anything they want”
i just wanna call up the EPA in Orlando
ask to speak to Allan
“i know you want love with a prostitute”
*hangs up*
*waits for a cop to call me privately*
*turns off phone*
*buries phone*
*changes number*
*goes AWOL*
cause-and-effect
have fun my love (Allan is NOT my love)
Allan is a nihilist who works for the EPA in Orlando
but i am hoping he changes positions and titles and names when i am done having fun
i hear the more restraining orders you have, the less they work
🙂
anyhoo
i wrote a poem for Kaya
she was moved to tears
NO ONE EVER WROTE A POEM FOR HER?
honey, YOU NEED TO WRITE AND PRESENT A POEM TO HER
BUY SOME CINDER WOOD
i do not want her to disappear into the night never to be heard from again
she deserves a vacation
and maybe not working 6 days a week?
she probably even deserves a better poem and friend than me
i am doing my best even if my best is 10%
my room was fine until i tried to fix it
now it looks like a hurricane came through?
and if i went to heaven right now – people would think this was how i lived…
in disorder
which is kinda true cuz my boomer mother kicked me from the nest and gaslit me about literally everything
she is nothing but government propaganda
not an original idea or thought
and add “lost” cuz her first born died as planned by the government she brown noises
but blames good ole me….
once my sister died i started to get peace in my life
maybe be people i want to love?
but then you do try and love them and they never change
toxic
now since my sister died some family has been reaching out
but i have ghosted them
they will burn in hell for all eternity for how they treated the ONE ANGEL in their life
I CAME TO JUDGE!!!
BORN THIS WAY!!!!!!
BORN TO FALL!!!!!!!!!
designed to break!!!!
a broken doll!!!!!!!!
losing hair!!!!!!!!!!!
turning into Chucky Bride!!!!!!!!
with a big knife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(which has a cancer warning)
(the weed has a cancer warning)
(the microwave)
i am weening myself from all unnatural products
no more pills!!!
just ordered over $200 in medicinal – gonna look at the cancer label until i no longer need to take a draw!
trying to manage my pain and stress more naturally
hearing pads, the air at 60, hot baths, extremely cold air, lots of water, *try to eat*, more water, another hot bath
and hot water can be damaging to hair so no more drowning my skull under the heat
everytime 3 or 4 hairs come out, im like please no more
and i do not want to cut what remains
hoping my scalp can recover
but the docs were not concerned my hair was falling out by the handful
“my labs are fine”
but im 50 kilos and now they care
i lost 20 pounds of cancer in a year!
sweated that toxic shit out!!!!!!!
not just sweat!!!!
TMI!!!!!!!!!!
met a neighbor last night who has an 11 year old male shitzu
he going to Zuma imm to detox his household
explained to him the CDC say 50% of the pop have parasites, you can get them from eating!!!!
or kissing a cat or dog!!!
i went on to say i aint never in my life detoxed or dewormed
and zuma use wild harvested plants grown in the USA, harvested in the USA, all organic, non GMO, no bad stuff!
i am not being sponsored
i am shadowbanned for being armed and dangerous
i’m a Soldier
of course i am armed
*rolls eyes*
they so mad i aint killed myself yet or died from the many ways in which they stone me!!!!!
GOD IS WATCHING EVERYTHING YOU DO!!!
THE STARS AEE RECORDING YOU!!!!
LIGHT IS INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!
WATER HOLDS DNA AND CARRIES INFORMATION!!!!
THE SUN IS ELECTRICAL
WE HAVE ELECTRIC FISH
YOUR HEART IS ELECTRICAL
you’re not a spirit in a body but a body in a spirit!!!
FIND GOD
whatever you have been doing serves SATAN and this twisted society
sterile pools filled with cancerous chlorine
the hottest period and the animals see a pool like a mirage in a desert
shame on you!!!!!!!!!
fuck your sterile pools!!!!
fuck your society too!!!!
stop giving all my money to a third party who wants us dead!!!!
I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN
I NEVER AGREED TO BE YOUR SLAVE
currently starting to ask the neighbors “you know any mechanics” and keeping my eyes peeled for anyone doing any work on theirs…
still wanna walk everywhere
but now walking has turned into “i wanna start running again” to “i need a bike”
and “maybe i wanna get rid of everything and travel the world”
anytime i wanna hit the L key i hit the X which removes the L and backspace to fix rarely works
i spend so much time running in circles fixing everyhthing
just put new batteries in my fast push and surprise!!! they need replaced!!!!
it is like this with everything!!!!
likeendless conference calls
keeping us busy busy so we do not know they are destroying us from within
like a frog in hot water
sad for the frog
being boiled alive
for science
ALL HAIL SCIENCE
acoording to the “we know” people, God is not real but something you cannot see like a Black Hole is real- but the math was not even mathing!!!!!!!
it was all conditioning!
propaganda!
Cox and his cocks!!!!!! he is a pedophile!!!!!!!!!!!’
read his damn book!!!!!
his own hero he called “old” at the grand age of 30!!!!!
they only like you until age 29!!!!!
(they will fuck anything, even a bride is a fleshlight to them)
THEY ALL WANT LOVE WITH A PROSTITUTE
NOT JUST ALLAN FROM THE EPA!!!!!
HI ALLAN!!!!!!!!
BET YOU WOKE UP JUST NOW!!!!
FUCK YOU!!!!
(i hope my weed arrives today)
(i want to quit it all)
(my card needs to be renewed again)
(you know how this goes)
since i started medicinal i no longer do street (even when i quit medicinal)
i no longer socialize and smoke
no recreational use basically
but they treat the medical shops like they are recreational (prices too) but i pay for a medical licensing
until they all vote recreational and the shop will not need to change much
just the packaging
we will get pretty colors and better propaganda instead of the boring packaging
(which we are gaslit and shown the pretty packaging but get the boring)
im paying for packaging that the recreational users get…
im so done with supporting Boomers or society
like i need to eat and sleep but that’s about it
“what do you do all day”
WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO WITH MY REMAINING DAYS
I GAVE IT ALL
THERE IS NO MORE
BOOMERS WILL WORK YOU TO THE GRAVE!!!!
they work their farm dogs until they have heart attacks!!!
SHAME ON YOU!!!
YOU ARE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!
but before then…
i wrote Kaya a poem
and i was her first 🙂
kinda sad
but they all want love with a prostitute
not just 51%
or someone so poor and stupid they can control
rape in marital sex was legal until the ??? 50s? 90s?
somewhere in between?
im shit with numbers
hard to come with facts
trying to save/extend the life of myself and my dog
what do i do all day?
THAT
and i write poems
maybe i should start telling the real world i write?
maybe i would have more/less than 5k followers?
who knows
they all resent me in the real world
i prefer my privacy
i only gave ONE GUY my tiktok before i moved
his burner has been changed into another burner and i do not want to be unfollowed or blocked
he gifted me a lot of things i was trying to buy
that’s not why i loved him tho
we do not choose the people we love?
George woke something up in me
the guy at the smoke shop
the neighbor
my most recent encounters
you do not need to resent me for writing Kaya a poem
she is 30 and has never had a poem written for her
she really loved mine… i mean HERS
i told her it was hers
i wrote it for her
so it’s hers forevermore
she said she wanted to put it on a box?
you mean like one of them handmade jewelry boxes that takes months to make?
that can last a long time?
my words have made it to China and are going on something special for the beautiful Kaya?
i hope the jewelry maker makes something wonderful for her, with her poem to enjoy
i’m kinda speechless
she probably would not want to share it with friends and family if she did not like it?
or want it on a box?
i did not think it would make it past my blog
and i was worried about sharing such a simple poem to a living Goddess
did them famous painters really need 6 months?
i live and breathe poetry
it is in the fabric of my veins
i mean, i write quickly
maybe i should take my time?
maybe i should wait 24 hours before posting
but then i could pass to heaven
(also apparently over half the population does not have 4k saved)
(so i am already doing better than half the population and this was b4 my dad died)
but i have sacrificed a lot
and also spent too much
guess i wanna experience everything all at once before it all ends
i have not spent a dime of what daddy left me
it does not exist to anyone but me
i’d rather starve than give the Boomers a dime (who stole half my retirement during a manmade fake pandemic – that i spent years building my portfolio)
in one sweep they came and took it so they could keep their 4th vacation home
they sold me a Jeep that said 10k miles on the odometer but after spending 6 years to pay her off – and finally getting the title – the title says 25k, and i’m trying to understand how this is legal
i won’t buy another car
FOOL ME TWICE AND I WILL STICK YOU IN THE BACK WITH A KNIFE
I’M DONE WITH YOU
im done with this iphone giving me cancer!!!!!!!!
it’s hot with radiation!!!!!
re-reading the poem i wrote her with a tissue in her hand
🙂
she’s like the light
God made that
plan b was getting lost and dying
I’m up in the mountains
the wind would say I’m crying
my feet would show I’m trying
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
look at Kris / standing guard over the apocalypse / ever the nihilist \
a denialist / clinging to his spear / dressed in golden gear / never thought the sky would bring so much violence
but i know his statue / his shadow shows no virtue / a millennial has passed / but i know it’s still you \
want more? another post is coming…
isn’t it amazing that my labs are fine up until SURPRISE! IT’S CANCER!!
John asked “why did you put me here” and i got to the bottom of it
to sum things up: nihilism
and there is so much rage burning inside of me
i just smile at the ones slighting me
they will know what hit them
so Kris was alive during Pompeii? and i may be Cleo & Mary
i may have met Christ recently
i met Lu in my first half
it would only make sense to meet Christ in my second – and while dying
but like, i prayed to see the love of my life for sixty seconds, and it turned out to be God in man form?
i mean i have identified as an angel since before i was born
but he looked like Christ
and he has imposter syndrome?
these demons are all like “God isn’t real” but i’m in love with him
for example: i decided to talk to the stars again
i was like “there you are”
and then i examined the sky for a bit talking into the night as if no one else on the planet existed
i was like “did you miss me” and it blinked twice again as if to say yes!!!!!
the stars are alive and actively listening better than the neighbors!!!!!!
i got out of the shower today and saw how much hair i had lost
all i could do was sigh
then i gathered up all and any prescribed items from the doctors and tossed them in the trash
holistic route
but hopefully not into the mountains m’kay
do you live in alaska?
it took me 4 years at least to realize her name was not her name
i cant remember the last time i stalked her
hearing her write about you is like stabbing myself in the side with Judas’s spear
i gave kris some silver
not 30 pieces
the value was low
unless you count the fact that an angel gifted you silver imprinted with jesus christ or a cross
a tiny little piece of silver with the value of “betrayal” stamped on
“I PAID MY WHORE”
“NOW I OWE YOU NOTHING”
“AND YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME”
(im just quoting a film calm down)
the silver was meant for protection
since the fire is coming
again…
WHERE WILL YOU BE THIS TIME?
WILL YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS BEFORE?
GET RIGHT WITH GOD
eternity is forever
i want to feel love before my teeth and hair fall out
but you should have seen me in the mirror
just had to tell myself “it’s gonna be okay with or without hair”
“our life is already over”
this is the aftermath
of being alive while dead
but she’s like gold. the sun always rises, over her soul.
but she’s like silver. like early in the mornings, the cold can make you shiver.
but she’s like platinum. even when it’s raining, diamonds form from her hum
but she’s like a galaxy, the light and the darkness, expanding every inch of me
WHAT. i’m free-styling a poem. cope.
oh.. i was exceedingly happy i can twirl up my thin hair into some carved wood – like i still have SOME hair and did not cut it off where it may never grow back
and i was like oh “the messy look”
it’s the “i’m dying but trying to look cute” phase
and it held up during my 35 minute treadmill sesh today
but i like my damn hair pins
you don’t have to wait until you lose your hair to wear wigs
so the pins can be worn with the 3 wigs i own but have never tried on
cuz i refuse to dye my hair despite God waving a grey in my direction
and i’m bleeding down there!!!!
my period!!!
47!!!
turning grey!!!
OH LOOK AT MY LEGACY FLUSHING DOWN THE DRAIN
I AM OBSOLETE
but i wound up in the second circle of hell
and the boomers do not want me with the 18 year olds even tho it is legal
(i dont want the 18 year olds either but i am also petty and hate the boomers with all i am)
(let them keep telling me what they hate)
the lawyer: “there’s a COSTCO near every mansion Diddy has”
costco: “we ain’t sold Diddy squat shit”
well Diddy is not the only one buying oil in stock
SO LET ME HAVE MY HAIR PINS CUZ EVEN IF MY HAIR FALLS OUT I CAN STILL WEAR A WIG
BUT
i was like “can you do a custom hair pin with a real pearl”
and DAVID the jewelry designer who lives in “pearl city” made me one RIGHT AWAY
and i will not wait until i get married to wear it but i may wear it on my wedding day?
some people whip out poems, others whip out pearls
and so this is mine. and it was gifted to me. a fucking real pearl and i feel kinda overwhelmed right now
i don’t want kaya changing any part of her body, even her teeth
i don’t want her to change her name
i’m like “if it’ll make you happy” “but like NO”
i could dye my hair and look less old but the wrinkles do not go away in the dryer
or when i’m crying
it’s my party and i’ll cry if i want to
IF I WANT TO
i posted some vids on the tiktok of the pins i got yesterday and started wearing
i only know the “messy look”
but i wanna learn to wear wigs and makeup
“damn girl how old are you”
“500ish”
“i don’t know what that means”
“oh like 5 centuries or so…”
i love her because the mountains are fair and deserving
she is lethal but she will not hurt me
like falling for gravity then question why it’s not working
why won’t the earth unearth me?
he’s a beautiful creation
i hope you protect him with all of heaven
like the ocean is waving
his energy is saving
i saw him and i went into fawn mode. i just stood there starring – unable to look away? so he waved but went the other way?
but he waved, he acknowledged my existence?
he did not break his neck to look away?
the doctor mentioned the C word yesterday
she wants more testing
but i am D-O-N-E with modern medicine
i have chosen the holistic route
OK?
medical malpractice is common
just ask all my dead comrades – oh wait
even i don’t talk to the dead (much)
im 50 kilos
she’s like “what did you weigh when you came to me”
im like “130ish”
she said “20 pounds in a year is not good”
hard to explain to a gaslighting demon that i am starving the cancer devil out of me
i stopped telling doctors anything
“the pills aren’t working, i don’t have a gun” (not necessarily in that order)
i mean, none of your business?
and really the “no i don’t have anything to hurt me” is kinda true
my safety items are for my protection, not yours (insert silly emoji with tongue out)
it’s why i leave my house again
except… i don’t go anywhere
cause and effect my love
have fun
i can’t take my eyes off of you
she was so happy i got a table for my sunroom
she said a “tea table” and i said yes
she said i want to come visit you
and my response made it seem like i wanted to put her to work
i gotta work on my communication
i remember yelling at Gavin Rosssale (of the band Bush) – who i drove several hours to go see – who stopped instantly signing autographs and taking pictures with others AS SOON AS he heard me CALLING HIS NAME
and he came and i yelled “do you even know who the fuck i am” and his eyes went big and my eyes went big and my mouth slightly fell open cuz i meant to nicely and sweetly say “do you remember me” but alas he did tweet me “it was great to see me” THE NEXT MORNING
i deleted my twitter tho (not the next morning)
(i remember when i quit facebook because trent reznor did)
(i remember the feeling when Trent approved me into his 5k friends list and i never needed to ask)
it only took him 6 months to approve cuz he was off making babies? but he knew my name from the old NIN message boards, where he use to roam, and i asked him to marry me when i was 16
HE DID NOT SAY NO
he was flattered and answered my actual musical questions
i just needed to know if he would marry me first
i remember when he returned to facebook but not really so i did too
NO I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH TRENT REZNOR
YES I COULD POTENTIALLY CRY IF I EVER MET HIM
NO I DO NOT WORSHIP ANY FALSE IDOLS OR GODS
he has YELLOW FEVER AND I ALMOST HATE HIM
plus i am GEN X – the most dangy genny yep
you fucked up when you took my voice and now you wanna take my guns
YOU THINK THAT IS AIR YOU ARE BREATHING NOW
she wants to come here, i want to go there (in my best Beetljuice voice)
“i want out, you wanna get me out”
yes i do
(just in case you are confused, i kinda fell for my neighbor who probably would fall for my best friend)
neither one of them are obsolete
i am overcoming the worst migraine
THE DEVIL CAN GET FUCKED
i have not been doing much of anything but trying to not die
i wish the neighbors knew how important that was
im sure they (the milkinials) think i am lazy
just barely alive
at the expense of all the other gens
everything you do
like paving roads for two
an I Love You impromptu
golden is the hue
you could show up in a mask
you know i would never ask
about the forecast
when it’s raining everlast
∞
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.
one day there’s going to be a Great Battle
we may not be here to see it but the monsters will go down
we just have to be a ghost in the machine
never tell them your next move
the whole world could off itself and there would be only us and i’d drop my sword
so i failed the game?
went after the devil’s head but caved?
“i love you too much”
“to condemn you”
“for all eternity”
I choose love
*arrives to heaven*
ask first question: “i get a plus one?”
*mumbles* kinda brought the Devil back…
*tosses head and heart at Heaven’s door*
HEAVEN’S DOOR would make a great bar name – one of them you need to know a code word and pay an annual fee to enter
lined with red velvet walls and seats
wooden seating with carvings
a poetry corner
a coffee bar
i’m just thinking out loud
i still want my neighbor to marry me and fill all the holes inside
PoeEternal 