poetry – PoeEternal

Posted on May 29, 2026May 29, 2026 by poeeternal

Protected: Pretty little dream

Posted on May 8, 2026June 6, 2026 by poeeternal

Shrink

I wish you were my shrink
I wish you were my husband
Finish what I think
Catch me in the shallows
Stop me where I sink

God was like “so you wanna see what you lost, huh…”

And I’m still descending – feel my life unending – tied to times arms – spiral out life’s long

I suffer from depression and dreams of you

Posted on April 11, 2026 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Disassociation

Tiktok won’t let me share this

New original poetry for someone else to steal and do “for better.. or worse”

Permanent derealization
Inside a shadow realm
Never coming down

Lost
Like losing tracking
Satellites show we’re slacking

We’re standing in the tall past
You said we’ll have the last laugh
Declaring magnets don’t last

(p∞)

I got so fucking lost

I laid there dying in the void

I dunno

I found God out there

Like a hammock

Resting on

Or maybe God found me

This time…

Imagine being so lost with no direction (nihilism)

It’s fucking hell

Posted on January 24, 2026January 24, 2026 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Made for me (p∞)

He doesn’t like where he’s at
He’s hung up on where he’d rather be
Climbing mountains
Making love by the sea

He’s staring in the mirror
Retracing what he needs
Shackled in the now
He lacks faith on where to flee

The sky, the stars
He’s writing in his dreams
Upon awakening, he’s convinced Were made for me

(p∞)

Daisy – The Golden Syrian Hamster – enjoying my fern (by the way, Hamster populations in the wild are down 50% as of 2019. They are listed as critically endangered. They are going extinct. (This one still bites me because she knows I can’t live without her)

Daisy munching on my fern – houseplants improve mental health and air quality

Posted on January 22, 2026January 22, 2026 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Shepherd (freestyle poetry)

I know you’re sad
I’ve laid in bed
Things I’ll never repeat
Twisting in my head

Like a daily motto: “there’ll be joy when you are dead”

I’ve gone to hell twice
Just tonight
Sat right with Satan
Told him “I still hate him”

I like to bait him
Keep him on my tail then
Lead him straight to my den

“All is welcome”
“Except not him”

He said, I’m the 9th wonder of the world
Pointing to a picture
A great void or a whisper
I’m the angel’s keeper

“Can’t trust her either…”

Trust, I love being lost
The feeling of “I forgot”
Happens a lot…

Like drawing a blank memory
Sending a greeting card with no greeting
It’ll happen to me

Embrace being lost
Learn to maneuver the dark
Faith is my ark
Burning or not

I’m a lost little shepherd
My DNA is a letter
To the cosmos below my feet
I’m begging to be better

(p∞)

Don’t worry, I ain’t quitting my day job.

Do you feel the call to the wild? Like to be free to just drive around for a year? Find yourself? Sleep on top your car somewhere unknown? I dunno.

I GOT TO GO.

At least see 1 national park

Eventually, some, face death head on

Gotta look it right in the eye

Some never know what hit em

Some wrestle the demon

I know it’s not the greatest writing – but the embers are still burning

The soul needs a little stirring

Need to go look a great ape in the eye

Say “hi”

I wouldn’t last long in the jungle but luckily this is a zoo…

I’m heading to

To fill up my spiritual cup

Cuz God knows I don’t need NO MO missionary boys at my door trying to micromanage my faith

HONEY SHIP SAILED

SHOULD HAVE GIVEN A FUCK TWO MORE ABOUT ME WHEN I WAS YOUNG

I WANT TO BE LOST

There are wonders to be found

(You just want my dimes anyway)

Now I gotta put a “no soliciting / no religious / no no no ARE YOU THE LANDLORD then NO KNOCKING” sign…

I will hand someone an invoice if they break the rules

“For each minute of my time you will pay a fee of…” and I’ll have some fake card reader too – cuz I took drama in school and props are important

DON’T FOOKIN KNOCK UNLESS YOU ARE PAYING ME FOR MY TIME”

They didn’t even bring me a bible

And they texting calling daily

Ghosted them days ago

God is the ONLY ONE allowed here (and the landlord obviously)

My time is precious

The church should be paying me to attend

I got a zoo passs

I’ll be with God’s creatures

And probably eating funnel cake on the train listening to some tunes

I get to ghost all the men who appear in my life ROUND TWO

Besides, Geo imprinted on me

Like the sun and my freckles

I don’t care how crazy I am

You say it like it’s an insult

I am the product of my surroundings

DEAL

(And you don’t get to write up new rules like “a sudden penny shortage” – that may work with the sheeple but not me)

Panera Bread tried to short me a penny and I was like “you’d rather short your customer than your register?” And she gave me my penny…

Meanwhile another location of a different store stated the shortage would be in “our favor”

Yeah fucking right and that’s the type of business I’ll support

It’s not like 20 years have passed since they stopped making pennies

I swear the way these companies keep stealing a penny

Before long it’ll be a dime

Needless to say, me n Panera broke up

Over a penny…

I’m petty as fuck

(My mom would have been embarrassed had she been in the ride)

“Delia, it’s just a penny”

“Yeah, my penny. MINE”.

Think of all the pennies they are keeping….

THIS AIN’T JUST ABOUT ME

WAKEYYYYY WAKEEYYYYYY UPPPPP

It ain’t my job no mo to wake anyone

Everything has been turned into the social credit system and they used the pandemic to throw us under the bus

The good news: my rent ain’t going up and I’ll be set until at least April next year

I got a new shower head with a hose + a filter which I’ll be attempting my first install

Just the basics from Home Depot 🙂

But it’ll be better than what I have

Also want to install a filter system under the sinks – landlord will need to help with that

Hope you’re well…

Posted on December 4, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Best of us… (p∞)

He was something beautiful
A storm surge
Rushing through oblivion
At the throne of dutiful
No question he loved her

Dust forms in the cracks of your soul
Exit gates where my pity can tiptoe

Try to disappear wearing red
Got the killer on a bloodshed
Going for the gold
Glowing above my halo

He’s breathing lead
Like he’s the second planet from the sun
You better run

But I’ll be hiding in light
I’m right in sight
The guns and the knives

It’s familiarity
Hiding twice as fast as speed
Is he looking at me

Lying underneath the rubble
Exactly where he’s slugging
Disappointment ain’t subtle

The way your stillness blinds me
Turns me into butter
Like looking in the sun

So I escape instead
Of dying in the gutter
In the lattice of the young

Last time I was caring?
Red herring
When’s a time you never lied?
HaHa you tried

I’ve been sleeping with an attitude
I’ve been sleeping like you asked me to
Sometimes it really comes to choice
Like what else am I supposed to do?

Grossly corrupt
How they grew up

Got us hanging from the line
And my ears are ringing
From your screaming
“You gotta cut it this time”
The world below spinning
My head killing
But I’ll need a minute
To process this ending

You’re waning gibbous
Saying death could be the best of us

I seek a future different the past.
What right ascension and declination have you seen one at?

I never really learned to tie a knot
It’s not my luck
I never learned to love a lot

Can’t get a leg up
Probably miss him too much
Text him when I’m not drunk

Like when I give him secrets
Can’t trust he won’t keep them
Wrap em up beneath him

Bran scan shows I’m dumb
But I don’t know how come
Unlike this chair I built
With all his lies I’ve dealt

I’ve got a single bullet
Don’t know where I should put it
Maybe under the Mistletoe
Right where the axes go

Have you succumbed
Down in the mire
Took you how long
Cutting through the liar

Do you know the coordinates to this black hole?

Hi. Goodbye.

Barely alive – had burnt toast n cream cheese – hanging in there

Posted on December 3, 2025 by poeeternal

Coffee

Coffee is on the stove
There’s a warm glow
And the nightmare from my dreams below
Hanging from my halo
A rock would be softer than this pillow
I’m too low

P.S.

It’s that time of the month again. Where my mood shifts like a pendulum. Can’t handle where I’ve been. It’s just my blood darling.

Can’t believe people didn’t take better care of their bloodlines.

I’m crying all the time, putting in the overtime, won’t cost you a dime.

Happy dying. Oh stop lying.

I dunno if this is an insult but it’s likely why you’ll never hear me boo’d off stage or attempting open mic cuz that’s exactly what this slam poetry was –

Thank you?

I just think it’s funny I quit posting after that comment. I mean how many straws?

No I don’t have thick skin. Poe died naked out his mind on the street darling.

CHILDSPLAY

I mean same same

It’s not like Victoria even liked it…

“Bad press is good press” (for the narcissist)

At least it got 390 views

Posted on December 2, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Inclination

I feel inclined to swallow
Whole lies
These villages are hollow
Filled with empty lives
There is no road to follow
We split too many times

Posted on November 20, 2025November 20, 2025 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Bloom (p∞)

Cherry blossoms bloom
Over my depression
Red leaves fall
Deeper isolation

Like a pivotal point
Forged through tribulation

Five trillion eight hundred seventy-eight billion four hundred ninety-nine million eight hundred ten thousand miles from all creation

I’m racing towards
A single colossal point of gravity
Like I’m searching for
Rewards

I don’t even like halloween anymore

But there are SOME things I still like…

Posted on November 9, 2025November 9, 2025 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Sink (p∞)

Your words
Sink 36,000 feet below
Where I bestow
Feathers from your mantel
Flowers for your candle
A simple “hello”

There was a time
I trip-mined
Over our demise

Trenches filled with water
Worries fell to slaughter
But you were still mine

Like golden arrows
Muskets for the scarecrows
Love found in the narrows

I wonder how deep we go?

~Been writing lines since 1989~

Posted on November 4, 2025November 4, 2025 by poeeternal

I had the worst diet (lines n rhymes)

There are hills I have climbed
There are mountains where I’ve died
I’m still lingering on the hillside
There are trails where the blood dried

Your stats are booming!
But it doesn’t mean I’m looming
Come school me
Don’t fool me

I had the worst diet
Lived on his lies like it was the Hyatt
His love was a riot
Never peace
Just wanted quiet

What am I doing holding onto these ashes?
Counting midnight stashes?
Wondering how long life is?
Cuts like a knife when
Life ends
Just like yours did
Where does mine begin?

The same way they think they’re game is worth waiting for
They’re a fucking bore
Matchmaking locked
But I got a glock

I didn’t want to give another update; another reason why I am late. An outtake: for fuck sake

My favorite part of the journey is the rest
Think I like it best
Some call me lazy
Cuz I like to nest?

Of course we would meet through the ether
I’m not pure either
Heaven I would not enter
Just sitting here in purgatory
Like a bedtime story

My love is buried in a cave
Degrading
Am I worth saving?

Dear Follower,
I know you followed
Through endless hollow
Look all the years and roads we travelled
Bickered laughed falling on some gravel

The places we will go
You know I miss you so?

Met you at my lowest
like an interlude
of course it wasn’t the devil
but God true and true
even if you were just a man
he looks just like you?

Do you think God could create a love that goes on forever?
Do you think the universe is a love letter?
Cuz I’ve got memories as distant as stars
But not where you are
Like living in a waking dream
You are there in the corner of my seams
WALKING WITH ME

We’re neurodivergent
We spin like it’s urgent
Spinning faster than the earth is
Some say we’re imperfect

Error
Like an arrow
Straight to the center gravity
Of my failure

Still I’m getting better
Miscalculating data
Just like the AI
Counting only matter

I don’t know what I’m holding on to
Will I disappear after all I’ve been through
If I let her go, will I be new?

I don’t know what I’m doing here
When I want to roam the streets dear
But my shadow’s bringing fear

I don’t know why I’m circling
Nothing I do ever stops the hurtin’
There’s just avenues of me

Burial piece cuz single never married (i think it’s real crystal cuz it’s imperfect yah?) but also the energy – the light reflecting – the weight and things (new crystal head piece) (will things catch fire if i go out in the sun – i mean that could make for a good vampire short) (and yes people do catch their houses and cars on fire over 1 tiny crystal – how many does this hold) – new superpowers uncontrolled – prob why im grinning – i could be the most hideous beast but not my headpiece) (he gonna wanna marry me)

They pass out medical diagnosis like it’s a weather forecast; “You’re 6 degrees from dying but there’s sunshine at last”…

Precognition

I said, you’re perfect
Nothing would be worth it
That’s the verdict

(I’ll never date or acknowledge another ten) (not even gonna look their way) (oof TOUCHE BROTHER)

RUST IN HELL

Like if a ten ever asked me out for anything I’d be like: WHAT. NO. You’re more than a ten.

I’d simply walk away.

And if he persisted I’d just demand loudly: I DON’T WANNA BE YER FLESHLIGHT

Yeah no NOT REAL – DENOUNCED – took me a whole science degree and 40 plus years WOOHOO – I AWOKE

Like standing up for yourself
While backing into a wall
It’s no fun at all
But you will prob hear me laugh
As I’m picking up my step
Crying down the hall

(p∞)

Postscript:

I dunno if I’m clumsy or if it’s almost a full moon

Two things can be true at once

I get upset I don’t spend more time talking to the stars

That shit won’t even be twinkling til I ask it something specific: “did you miss me, two for yes, one for no” and I’ll be blessed it’ll blink twice

HA! knew knew

Our love is instant – no distance between the two

The sun is local

Flat earth: not confirmed

(I know things b4 they happen)

I pick up the signal before the signal arrives

DO U WANT MORE LINES?

(Im still under a treatment plan, not in remission, got tired of the constant penalties trying to game or socialize)

You don’t want me writing on *insert CGP* yet

Better let me feed the squirrels

And stop cutting down the trees

You already ran off Owl or killed him one

Im on final edge

THERE’S NO MORE WARNINGS

I’ll attempt to post some of my DBD gaming maybe – just to show you how pissed off I really am – either go all in on the killer hardcore pallet stun blind after blind or i never move

I go in without an offering item or perk

I don’t lurk

It’s either “go ahead and get yer 4k or there’s no stopping me and i’ll even get the hard save”

I was laughing SO HARD when I kept getting STUN AFTER STUN and kept shaking my head NO but the killer was heated – and I was so calm – Im learning to control my moods thru the game lmao

Get the killer all worked up and I aint even breaking a sweat

Eh sometimes I feel bad and just let them have me cuz damn i be mean

But what’s even more fun is the killer only saving me

Ive tried to die and they’re like “nah you can have hatch”

“Im suicidal too”

Sweet. Happy Halloween boo.

Squirrel enjoying the fresh food n water from the rabbit carrot ceramic bowls

I uninstalled the game. AGAIN.

And I don’t doomscrool

The one app I was left on kept punishing me after I spent loads of money feeding the enemy

Im not supporting other creators when I cant do the same (without penalty)

Im tired of appealing?

I really wanna update my blog?

I have goals but then again Im bed rotting

I was at physical therapy yesterday

“Im not ready for a walker”

But you need to get use to seeing me with a walking stick

Moving into my Moses phase

The mountains been calling

I would write more but there’s only the phone

I hate my tablet

I hate my laptop

I hate my Playstation 5

I hate my TV

I don’t hate eggnog or pie

Or this little guy

Posted on October 26, 2025 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

You forgot to tie the line (freestyle rhyme)

I know

I know you’re bored of life
I know you’re tired of lying
The quick traverse of the rope
But you forgot to tie the line

Forget about dying

I think about you all the time

The cold felt you appear like a sun ray, but disappear just as I prayed

For once, you let me have my way
But looking back, the way was paved

And there were devils on the road
And there were demons in the den
They were always looking
They know all I’ve been

Sometimes I question things did
We’ve been depressed since we were kids

You’re hiding under pseudonym
You’re writing in acronym
Two plus two means words you spell
For me, “I’m always seeing him”

In clouds, en empty well
Lost footsteps in hell

Like during the blood moon
I’ll stop and bless a boon
Speak words with you
Where dreams feel true

But I am two-faced
Barefoot disgraced

I know I’ll find you on the dark path
And on the pages where I come last
But have a good laugh
(And no I won’t ask)

I’m mad
And in the madness, you found me dancing ballet atop the quicksand, asking when will it end?

“Do I know what I am doing here”
“Do you know why you are here”

Other dimensions have left shadows on my heart, in places even you wouldn’t embark

Like leaving footprints of destiny
You were~~n’t~~ meant for me

You were like meeting light at the end of the tunnel
Tongue no longer verbal
Wanted in your circle
Knowing I am trouble

But you are fire and I’m a match
So open doors now have a latch
And you escaped down the hatch

We’re running from the past but the sign up ahead says we’re going too fast

All my nightmares are neatly tucked away under my bed
That’s where dreams go to die

If you look at the dust collecting, that’s my skin shedding
Cold nights sweating
Bloodletting

There I lay dead
And who I could have been
Is laying there like papers
Yet it is skin…

Dried up and thin

The worse part is I don’t listen to myself
Just like nobody else
I said halt not left

But John went crawling in a hole he knew he wouldn’t fit in at all

“The map is wrong”

The globe isn’t accurate
Your love I’m chasing after it
In the middle of midnight
There’s a tail light

So how scary was my fall?
My end; want to keep the secret from all

Cuz the dead don’t know they’re dying

Some happen quick
Don’t know what hit
Some oversaturated
With societal bullshit

I’m clearing out my life again
Got another big task ahead
You think Mount Everest is big
You ain’t been climbing in my head

Did you know sword cuts flame?
That I’ve gone insane?
Sometimes I cry
When I call your name?

My love comes and goes
It ebbs and it flows

Distance is time

The homeless are congregating in the city streets like the chosen fallen

They’re rabid with sin
Drooling from the dope within
And I gotta flee again
These feet are wearing thin

Copyright © 2025 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.

(p∞)

Posted on October 9, 2025 by poeeternal

A great wave

A great wave is moving across the Milky Way
Just like the letter I wrote you that day
I wonder how much gravity weighed

Have you sat with sin
Could you do it again?

Trapped in a mine
Barely breathing?

I’m asking when?
Cuz lately it’s all we’re doing

Crunching time
Like it’s ours to begin with

Is there something between enemy and friend
More than acquaintance?

We’re reaching
The beginning of the end

It can drag on lifetimes
Yet in a blink you have died

Suffered the insufferable
Like it was a crashing tide
I remember 2009

I miscalculated
The depths of my love

And how the years go on
Never asking permission once

Gotta do what it wants
I wanna sleep where he haunts

You know, it’s the time, John Jones died. Worst death to ever die.

If I ever go AWOL – I won’t really be missing

Well, I mean, probably won’t catch me crawling around no tight spots. PROBABLY.

I mean, anything is possible.

Im out my fuckin’ mind

I’m claustrophobic

Need the lights on

Gotta be able to spread eagle

I’ve loved you far too long

The past is filled with the scars of our love

Look at her, recording everything we do

She’s got the look too

Spotlights on me and you…

🙂

NEED TO MAKE A TRIP TO THE LIBRARY AND ZOO

Just shit I can’t seem to convince myself to do

Like eating

There are them days

I hear the doctors words replay: fasting two weeks is good

I can’t go a day without loving you

Even if it’s hate-filled

Apples contain cyanide

But I like them caramel coated

Not rotted on the inside

I don’t like it when you lie

Posted on September 30, 2025 by poeeternal

Where is home

Where is home
We’re shifting in the void
Like meeting in the bathroom
You called me paranoid

While all these years have past
My heart is where you roam
Like living in purgatory
Where secrets are destroyed

Where do the lost belong
When standing at the crossroad
Like we’re overjoyed
Do we wait here long?

(p∞)

Postscript: hi. Thank you so much for still being here. How much time has passed?

… I thought I would be in recovery by now…

I thought I’d be dead…

North east south west

Confusion in my head

Remember A LONG TIME AGO i posted a link to a youtube video of a tool song + the fib sequence that a student (in college i think) put together

It received millions of views

Then… one day he posted he had to take it down

The sound was going to be removed

Fast forward to now – I tried to find that video – LONG GONE

What’s in place is MAYNARD talking about the song + math + the sequence

He’s still the biggest pompous piece-of-shit and i said what i said didn’t i

So just today (cuz how old are we again)

I found tool and Maynard on the tiktok – i followed first both accounts and then i blocked

Remembering that time May May blocked me on FaceBook for sending a friend request and “hi”

Not only is he ugly on the outside

But he makes some of the BEST MUSIC KNOWN TO EXIST

I just won’t support it

(My sis refuses to go to his gigs, calls him an asshole)

(She’s a professional music photographer (and wedding/pet)

I got her into them

She met him

“He’s a dick”

Literally did not want to go to a gig

Don’t blame

Slash gave me the cold shoulder when we met in New Orleans and I ain’t ever been the same

He was nice to my daughter tho

*rolls eyes*

We drove 4 hours to Hard Rock in New Orleans for them to tell me she wasn’t allowed in the club

I said WHAT U MEAN

I IZ HER MOM

So they waited and listened outside and “we tried to meet them after the show”

We met them…

I’m actually still Facebook friends with his bass player lmao

I was crushing on Todd

ANYHOO

Axl seems he’s half himself again

I wouldn’t mind seeing GN’R

They cancelled cuz Axl wasn’t allowed booze on stage with the fireworks

*rolls eyes*

I had an ENTIRE WALL dedicated to ONLY GNR – them posters from them magazines

Some of them folded out

TWO PAGES

I think I’d feel cozy in a space with a blacklight + blacklight posters + a stone mountain nearby (man i miss them stores)

There’s a mall here

I wanna loiter at the mall

There’s a cinema

An arcade

I don’t want another dead mall

I like this city

I just don’t know if I wanna die on this hill

I have a door in front of me

How many doors of opportunity have you closed?

Dr Peterson says it happens subtly, people aren’t even aware

They’re closing doors to their on possibilities

They had a chance to do something they wanted and they wasted it

“I see it happen all the time”

(Mind you this was a podcast I was watching, I wasn’t having a one-on-one)

Videos from 4 months ago that pompous prick talking about the song he made

How dare he

IT’S THE FACT THAT THEY MADE THE COLLEGE KIDS POPULAR VIDEO DISAPPEARRRRRR

I remember when he posted about it, I commented I was responsible for one million views – I think he liked it too

I never screenrecorded

I never thought it would DISAPPEAR

MY MOTHER LIED DEAR

THINGS DON’T STAY ON THE INTERNET FOREVERRRRER

Anyhoo

More lines?

Yes or no?

(Check box and return)

It’s weird, I have all these memories of a person I no longer am

Tale of the body thief

2.0

Posted on September 4, 2025December 31, 2025 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Never looking back

I just wanted you to know how hard it is
To let go all of this
But then again
What’s there to miss?
Standing at the cliff
No rope to climb with
I don’t even have a picture
Think I burned all of my sister
Doesn’t mean I never miss her
Writing on the sand, on the stalls, it’s my fault nobody calls

Posted on August 2, 2025 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Why heaven can’t reach us

I imagine the distance that keeps us – and why heaven can’t reach us – because space isn’t just silent – it’s speechless

Maybe your name is Apophis. We’re both lost in the abyss.

THAT’S NOT WHAT I ASKED

According to Saint Peter Steele:

“April 2-0-2-9 the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour – in fact – is quite here” (-)

(Could you pick your speed up on writing lines, even if I’m not on time, I never learned to set a clock, I never even hear a chime, it’s almost like it is a crime, but I can do a run-on, I think it has been too long, but I don’t have timer in the kitchen to help me not burn this song)

He reminds me of you. But aren’t your eyes blue? Like an angel from the sky, make me fall down and sigh. Know you saw me coming too…

Or maybe your the Jester, I’m just a guesser

Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?

(I really just wanted to share the first 4 lines – I’ll play catchup another day)

It’ll be easier to snap photos of my messy writings

It’s just freestyle

It’s not messy messy

It’s just – the urge – to write in cursive

With curses

Found out who you really were / didn’t make a difference cuz / you were meant for her \

You go from sunshine to icy winds
The road less travelled is the road we’ve been
You go from shadow to now we’re friends?
I guess we’re ghosting again?

Flat earth : not confirmed

Posted on July 13, 2025 by poeeternal

“I’m not afraid”

Are you paying for your sins
Cuz it’s all black and white where we live
Like looking at the the sky
We go places planes won’t fly

Have you sat in a room with your biggest enemy?
Did you have a chance to dine with me?

Where do you go when you plan to leave?
Will you appear in another galaxy?

Cuz’ I don’t need a crystal ball
To see the sacrifices crawl
Or flowing down the river bank
“It’ll never flood again you think”

Have you calculated costs?
Is it buried under mud and frost?
Or a thousand-hundred years
Like losing lives on lies

Cuz you ain’t never shared your bread with me
You ain’t never been to bed with me
(But I know you would’ve bled with me)

Cuz shedding sin is like shedding ghosts?
But it’s cold outside, so you’ll need your coats

I know you got an alibi
I’ve been driving 80
Flooring 100 lately
Just to hear your lie

Time is platinum
Unlike for Juliana
Sacrificed no honor
Locals cheering “she’s a goner”

But I don’t know who wins this
When every policy’s unfit
Unclear is your last text sent
Since you swore there were no fears

I saw you trembling on the mountain dear
And how they took their time on getting near
But I know they had “a lot of gear”
An ulterior motive to carry up as well

“I’m not afraid”
God is unfazed
But they will pay when they return to hell

Like a raging torrent
But whose paying for it?

Want more? I’ve got a few more. Lines in me.

What if they confirmed it was rat logs
The old data involved
But they will say “is current”
Another Data breach
Circling like a serpent

I bet that nest smells of death and decay and everything you fucking say

I embrace my bruises and scars
I embrace for impact

Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?

Well I guess that’s all I got (for now)

(It’s all on pages)

(In the real world)

Posted on July 12, 2025 by poeeternal

I’ll tell you a secret when it rains

I imagine this is how you’d say goodbye

Images are shattered

Like leaving your mask on the table

It’s a curse or a favor

Writing messages of

C-U Later

But you were the only clown that mattered

Twisted Masquerade year nine / have you been with me this whole time?

You go from sunshine to icy winds
The road less travelled is the road we’ve been
You go from shadow to now we’re friends?
I guess we are ghosting again?

The earth could tip and the sea would swallow us wide –
Everything but my pride!

….. arrow down ….

Posted on June 22, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Removed the space between

Did you know I read sign language
Even the moon spells Chris
It’s half-crescent
Like him
He’s half-present
Maybe it’s Christmas
The way you kiss?
Removed the space between the hiss
Laid down your blade
And took my fist
Maybe you’re the silence
On my blank list
Where none can follow
Your name won’t fit?

Blushing

P.S. found a screenshot of your number I blocked

So I took another screenshot?

Posted on June 15, 2025 by poeeternal

Angel whispers

He doesn’t understand why I’m always giving gifts
I ain’t tribal
Don’t read the Bible
But he swears I’m collecting feather wings
He said he thinks he saw me growing things
But you’re a liar
Can’t be re-wired
Always on the run
Must be so tired
Cuz the Devil’s in your blood
Here’s comes the Great Flood
Mixed with bones and fire

PS. am I the only one who uses present and past tense together, or how I switch between speaking about him to directly to?

Posted on June 10, 2025 by poeeternal

So we’ll never talk again…?

It’s so flamboyant
My lack of give-a-fuck
You’re just in luck

But here comes on regret
And there’s raining yet?
What more do you want?

To never talk again?
Even when I’m dead?
We ain’t discussed
So you ain’t neva said

(p∞)

I know. I KNOW. I don’t drink enough water. Or I drink too much. (Somewhere, a thousand years down the road, some asshole will take that out of context. I ONLY DRINK WATER. HOPE **~~YOU BURN 4EVA~~** THIS HELPS

I’m not filing in a single orderly line so the AI will understand me

ME > PROGRAM IN MATRIX > DOING WHAT IT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO DO

happy2help

Posted on June 6, 2025 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

LOL – City stalking

It’s so convincing

I’m such a good storyteller

And photographer

I got strangers on TikTok thinking I’m stalking you 🙂

It’s just this is where I was seated and low and behold? There you are again

And people on TikTok think I’m stalking you

Meanwhile I’m trying to sort if I’m the NPC or AI becoming aware

And we don’t really believe in coincidence do we?

Sure I’m new to the city

Sure it’s the most hated car in the world?

And now you have an accidental stalker?

Cuz I ain’t the universe but the universe keeps putting us exactly in the same spots

Like I got lost ordering pizza and found your hiding spot?

Don’t yell at me if I run into you again?

I still have no ID on the driver…

It could be the devil driving

But now I’ve got you in my rearview / I know everything you do /

Posted on June 2, 2025 by poeeternal

Polaroid

Do you sleep with a gun under the foot of your bed?
Got secrets instead?
Locked up in a box?
But not your thoughts?

(p∞)

Psst… too many distractions, too many popups trying to be a photographer/blogger with an iPhone

I want a polaroid

I think people are nostalgic for my sense of self?

If you wanna see the world thru my eyes we going back to the 80s

Magazine posters on the wall

Wearing clothes until they get holes and calling it a favorite

“Where’d you get it”

“A different time and decade”

Also me:

So I got these coming? They may or may not fit?

But I did <since> find a size chart so even tho I’m tiny tiny I still may need some weird size?

A small is coming

I was like “i’m 110 pounds 5’6″” and next thing I know boss came out the warehouse having found some yoga pants

I don’t care that my ass is whatever it is, if I don’t cover up I’m gonna get arrested and I wanna wear that

Them shorts above

Potentially

Cuz life is all about potentials

I also joined Nike – and found me a pair of walkers for the price of a cheap Walmart knockout ($36) with the sales

So I added socks

And now if I can get my hips to work or you know – the entirety – new shoes for the feet

(You also get 60 days to decide as a member and can return/exchange)

And now I don’t remember ever owning a pair of Nike before?

This may be my first Nike?

I didn’t have to break the bank or whatever but they do have $200-300 dollar shoes (Walmart were charging $29 and above for some knockoffs)

I decided to get designer shoes

I may keep the shoebox and store all my hate inside

I mean photos n thangs

P.S.S.S. No weapons were shown in the making of this post <potentially> but some folks keep theirs right next to the unlocked door

Welcome in…

P.S.S.S.S.Sxinfinity why am I always hungry!?!

3 days in and still eating on the soup. Re-arranged the whole damn house. Am I tired of eating a big pot of vegan soup for days? No. This is my One Pot Wonder and can literally be made in the field. I ain’t throwing up or shitting myself eating it. Your nose will run and you may break a sweat eating ONE BITE cuz it’s level 5 HOT. But not so hot it strips the taste buds from yer tongue m’kay. It needs no added salt, pepper even 3 days in. It still tastes like day 1. I have perfected the one pot wonder but sometimes i fuck it up and must order pizza. Not this time (plus doc says no dairy)

Posted on May 30, 2025 by poeeternal

Babbler dabbler

I dunno what you’re waiting on
Hell to come?
I have arrived
Sat down outside
With pen in hand
But I’m out of ink?
But these walls know what I think?
Like considering heaven
And the events to get me there then?
It’s far from happening
Though death is companying
Like an uninvited guest at my deathbed
I wanted you instead?
Your words? Your calls?
My phone a friend?
Whom I can but can’t depend?
Us against them? Gone yet united?
The system? The stranger you’re lying with?
Oh you know their name?
Cool but I’m no longer hiding that I have gone insane?
Maybe only temporary?
Can’t take this to the pearly gates
I’m expressing all my rage
But I’m innocent
The midnight moon glowing
The avalanche down the mountain flowing
Honestly, might be where I’m going?
Since the mountains are the only ones who are calling!!!
And hell froze over on me
In the hottest parts of the city
I was like wait a minute, “it is snowing”
So that’s my reality
And the neighbors building melting snowmen
While my rage is burning within
Yelling at the therapist, “I don’t like the sound of voices… except his”
“Yours is okay, I actually admitted this”!?!
Like I can handle a “handful”
But not in succession
“I quit group confession”
But I really need a priest?
My new doctor thinks she can fix what is inside of me?
INFORMED CONSENT
I’m ready to try it
Left the doc a message “I’m pretty sick”
Just got off the phone with a pharmacist
But as far as my medicinal “I ain’t gotta quit”
Thank fuck
About to take a hit
(Just hopepray this ain’t the culprit)
Cuz coconut ain’t on the foods to eat
And I ate a bit….
🙂

They dilated my eyes this morning cuz i had my lookers examined – and at first it was without my glasses on – they are using a new method with a mirror and computer screen laser and I could see fuck all. She kept turning nobs “and now” and the panic set it “not like anything at all” and she did not realize my glasses were corrective (she thought just readers) and the instant relief we both had and the laughter coming from the room “i can see the smallest lines”

I ain’t blind

I mean, without glasses, I can see there’s a sign but I couldn’t tell you the name of the road

“You go a couple miles til you see Big Lots, now if you get to the Circle K you’ve gone too far”

And while you over there swing by the drive thru Little Caesar’s and get me one of them $10 stuffed crust

(Only they ain’t ten in my city, a couple more)

And I was at the grill at the VA today ordering 3 scrambled brown eggs

“You got any vegan turkey bacon or sausage”

“We got some Turkey bacon but it ain’t vegan”

“My doc says I can’t have no meat currently but some of us can’t be no vegetarian”

And an echo of “amen” “i hear that”

But I only got the toast and eggs

Wish I had got SIX SCRAMBLED

Next time double

I might be little but I got a big appetite

Greedy lil thang

It’s annoying how much I gotta eat to constantly be losing weight

But while being very sick I ordered Chipotle (not pizza) to get a salad and they had NO CHICKEN which I suddenly hate the taste of chicken?

So I got the beef

My body absorbed it

It said FUCK YEAH

Cuz I really needed some meat and I refuse pork but they were out of chicken and I hate chicken?

So to me the universe directed me to the “all beef”

The cow is in heaven now and my tummy

I will not make a habit tho

I’ve gone MONTHS without beef eating only chicken and then no meat for several weeks and almost died

You come cook the lentil meatloaf

I’m DYING

I need SOUP

My VEGAN SOUP

so that is my goal

Back to my homemade soups!

I thrive on vegan soup, spring water, and cashews.

Back to the basics for me

And oatmeal IS on the foods I can eat

Thank GOD

I literally cried cuz she said “no cereal” but to me oatmeal is cereal

The good oatmeal with berries im allowed

–

And I love eating eggs again?

I thought I hated eggs but now I will inhale them

Just eggs

No salt, no pepper

Scrambled. Grill. Buttered toast (i dunno if the toast is allowed) (please give me one piece of toast)

THANK YOU

(Claim the grits too) (Even tho they ain’t allowed)

There’s no benefits to corn

CABBAGE ON THE GOOD LIST THO

(I made a spicy vegan taco with cabbage – don’t overcook the cab) – it was fab)

P.S. i told the psych doc i did not need any help euthanizing myself if/when the time comes (if) and he upped my meds…. FYI

And I have to see him again in 3 weeks…

The truth is, I prob would need your help cuz I wouldn’t wanna burn in hell for all eternity

God would forgive you potentially

This isn’t an invite

You just need to prepare

In case

“Too analytical” but how the fuck else would you crunch the kinda numbers you do?

I math in my own way

You know I see things you don’t

And you understand the thing I see

Most days I’m sorting out which timeline I am in

(Is this why you don’t call)

(please don’t call)

It’s better if we write?

Getting new eyes. These were my choices. I was allowed 3 frames. 1 for reading, 1 tinted for driving, and one for day. Any extras I had to pay. So took the freebies. Cuz Ivermetin cost me $180 alone woot woot (but she thinks it’s gonna sort me)

Need the good prays

They do sell ray-bans but those ain’t free lol

I do like the 3 new frames incoming tho (the clear will be my readers, the purple/black the tint, and the cute feminine pair on top is for my dailyware

She said they made me look ten years younger 🙂

We’ll see 🙂

I also still have no computer cuz at war with big bro?

They dilated my eyes and I had to drive home in a big storm

I like when the killer walks me to the exit gate. I do not like when the killer takes me to the corner and does something i’d rather not repeat… i like watching the killer go after my teammates – he will watch me watching him – i do not like when the killer hooks me *mad face* i do like when the killer chases me and carries me but lets me go… i don’t always want my team to be sacrificed and he should abide and sometimes they do… sometimes the killer will be acting so heated and shady i gotta calm him down… “i turned the killer friendly…” “maybe” “it could go either way”

…even the grey light was blinding

And I hope to get back to rhyming 🙂

More future updates/notes in rhyme mode?

Practice makes the perfects worse I swear

Pssst… waiting on a story from you

I wanna share my story ideas

Rough drafts

Maybe I’m afraid you’ll know how much I’m twisted?

These days, the script is written, no point in keeping it hidden? 🙂

“She’s a little kuku? But she’s harmless” “for now”

“..i wouldn’t go testing the waters or nothing”

“…the Army trained her you know…”

“Uncle Sam’s fault she’s that way”

“She’s like a gremlin”

“Just don’t feed her after midnight…”

I told the pill doc I had no prob euthanizing myself – i can be approved in Canada – when is the VA offering it

And he upped my meds…

Told him I be crying randomly in public or at home doing anything

I blamed my period

I told him I feel so much rage sometimes

Like a devil is inside of me

“But I know I am me”

“All 12 versions of me know I am me”

Posted on April 28, 2025 by poeeternal

Relax and let the ship sink (p∞)

These days seem important / but I won’t record it

There’s a serial killer on the loose
Roaming places you once knew
SAID YOU HATE IT TOO
Blackouts in Spain
Signals lost in Europe
Doc says I’m insane
Your image
Burns like sunrays
Might forget your name
But not today

I’m switching squads
Never tell me the odds

GOT IN TROUBLE FOR COLORING!

And watering my plants

Prob gonna buy. I can barely walk. But one can dream and waste money simultaneously..

Want another poem?

Oh you want me to open it? I gotta read it for you too? *rolls eyes*

You ask me what I think?
Relax and let the ship sink.
The fridge is empty.
That’s why we’re sinking?

One day
I know you will write
Until then
You keep on counting when
The sun will turn grey
Like my head will one day?

In between the heartache
The constant tug-of-war
The daily battles
And crying on the floor
The thinning hair and desires
And hours wanting more
There was so much love
Worth fighting for

6000 years of nihilism but there’s gonna be hell to pay

He went through all the emotions at once
Psychosis
Like distant chanting
There were no monks
Yet heard voices calling
He locked death in trunks

Hey,
Where are you? I’m locked out of my account. Like being locked out of the house. But there’s no yard about.

There’s a stench
Coming from below
Where the landlord resides
Could be a dead body
Could be anybody
Decisions don’t decide

I like when the killer walks me to the exit gate / cuz I’m his favorite / the one he’ll never hate

He called
Said time isn’t linear
I bawled
Lips confessed he was a sinner

We were standing in a blast zone
I knew we didn’t have too long

I asked, who ripped the soul from this place?
Like he was looking at heaven’s grace
(can’t take his eyes from my face)

Couldn’t tell you
I’m better or worse
Wouldn’t tell you
I might need a hearse

He’s double worried.
Again worried.
So make that a triple.

I picked up a lot of details.

5 men.
Drones.
Rooms with blue lights.
Cancer.
Cops.
Mexico.
An apartment.
Girls who disappear.

But my house is trapped with a single blade of worry.

…. the kind of love letters i receive (thought i’d share a tidbit cuz i don’t kiss and tell) (the entire things reads like a horror film – but he’s worried for me – really really worried). This is how I hyphen unless it’s a sugar-free word. I dunno. I’m not changing now.

I’m not sharing the rest of the DM, not even with the FBI. It does read a whole lot better than this whole blog post but I think there might be at least three lines in this blog post that were worth reading plus you got a new photo!?!

Okay BYEEEE

(And the Army trained me to take on more than 5 guys. So did my skinhead boyfriend. It was a long time ago and I was dumb. But I remember his best friend was named after a black guy and I said that must suck. Because he was a racist, but his name was Jesse Williams or something

I’m not racist. I hate everybody but listen they were OK. They were fucking racist but the irony was the white dude was named after a black person so I just thought that was interesting cause I was 15 years old so don’t take it out on me OK because I made fun of him for being racist AnyWho.

I’m done correcting the AI for free

He also likes to change the word nihilism to nationalism and I would block him as quickly as you can say gross – but they think they can force electronics on me and I’m about to go AWOL I’m fucking dying anyway like I literally fell out of my bed and now I’m back to barely being able to walk again even though it’s not because I fell out of my bed. I just don’t know what the fuck is going on

I can’t walk. I’m gonna get some running shoes, seems practical.

Why aren’t you here to carry me?

I don’t need anyone to euthanize me. I can do that myself.

I MADE SURE I WAS SET UP JUST IN CASE

Of a break in

Or breakdown

Planning ahead

I mean, not planning

Uhm

It’s JUST IN CASE

I forget your birthday or something

39?

40?

I went six months thinking I was older than I am so leave me the fuck alone

(It’s a figure of speech)

😭

I’m just being proactive?

At least it’s updated
With blood-stained carpet
There’s an old dusty fan
Spinning right over your bed

The only noises are the planes overhead
Chimes with random messages
Claim drones instead
Said there’s a wall
Full of something sinister
Pictures lined with pictures
Killer stalking killer
Who then will acquit her
Like he’s a protector
Said they work in teams of 5
Things that made him quiver
Clues, worries, blessings, confessions
A messenger with lessons?

I’ve got a mountain of sorrow
We could meet

You could sign a lease
Or you could borrow
Free next week or tomorrow?

Your lines
Equipped to mine
Fly faster than earth’s rotation
Despite hesitation

Each time a soul is born the sun loses mass
I know my math

Impermanence
Like walking into a fog that swallows all clarity
I am this
Slowly etching fists
The ground broke the dissent

Message received
Like a spear in side
Am I deceived
You’re a ghost or guide
Above or underneath
I can’t decide

I received
An ominous message by you
Like walking on eggshells
I gotta break them first too
Otherwise, what do we do?

I scream
But now my silence is the loudest in the room
Like fingers mimic shadowwork
Deep inside I guess he knows my worth

Now cops and drones
And smoke and darkness
Won’t cover my bones
I stand tall alone

In my restless dreams
Nestled in between
What happens if you slip and fall
What happens if the rope breaks
When you’re crossing frozen lakes
Bridges iced from all we take
Just one more wake…

Stop laying on the floor
Covered in your own blood
Guess the gun didn’t jam
Get up, give a damn

Maybe stick around
The way I haunt you
Eons not enough to

So what? we’re dying
You gotta push through

Nine seven three
Who the fuck keeps counting
Get up off the ground

Or take an intermission
Put a tourniquet on what is missing
Oh honey I am listening

He’s not happy where he’s at
I can see it in his frown
Want to wear it like a hat
Wash it over me
Drown in the aftermath

I do judge
Like a great reckoning
I carry grudge

ALL LINES RHYMES AND CRIMES WRITTEN BY ME (minus the ominous message)

(p∞)

(More of the ominous love letter warning) (or scam) (or story)

The power really is out in all of Europe and there potentially is a serial killer loose in New England or thereabout

There’s this one guy who answers me immediately if I leave him a comment under any of his videos on his TikTok but if I say hi to him in his live stream, it’s like I don’t exist

so I unfollowed him and followed him back because I have the worst etiquette in this hell hole

Also I think some guys get mad when they see that I’m writing boys in prison!?!?

But it wasn’t a loveletter

It was a poem about black holes and hell

As if I needed to remind him that time is forever

And I ain’t even mailed it

I literally get in trouble for fucking coloring on my live stream and I’m covered up and fuck you. I have to see men all over TikTok, barely wearing anything.

~~I hope more of you drive off a bridge~~

I think “fuck you” sounds nicer

You stayed? Goodnight. All my clothes are dirty, and the landlord has not given me the free washer and dryer that he promised me which means I probably need to invest in one which is another fucking expense

Posted on April 13, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

You only call

You only call me every decade
You stand with shovel or maybe a spade
Confessing sins like something you’ve paid
Disappear into sunset from wither you came
But love is stronger never decayed

I wrote an alternate version on my TikTok. But this is the original draft.

(p∞)

STOP CALLING ME A SIR

STOP CALLING ME A SIR

STOP CALLING ME A SIR

STOP CALLING ME… A SIR

P.S. i have something lying dormant in me. Only it ain’t very dormant. And it’s a lot like cancer.

I don’t have an official diagnosis (you don’t normally get those until you’re stage 4) (I hope you can “hear” my sarcasm over my shame).

52 kilos today.

Like 114.

Still got some teeth and hair. No tiddies. Too tired to put on makeup. I guess that gives people the right to call me a fucking sir.

I LITERALLY FUCKING DARE YOU

SAY MOTHERFUCKER ONE MO TIME

No amount of misgendering me is gonna make me get plastic surgery or botox.

I can’t wait to scare you with my wrinkles.

I wanna live so long that one look at me makes you rethink your entire existence.

Like “what the hell is that” cuz I frequently say it when I look in the mirror at my thinning hair (from the stress or cancer which may or may not be in my control)

I have about 10% of energy at any given time and makeup just isn’t on my to-do-list. But it’s always on my mind. I would even like to try wearing cute wigs.

But I don’t need to attract any more drones overhead.

If I look like I’m dying it’s probably because I am (not in remission yet)

Still fighting for my life 🙂

Now might be a good time to call.

Don’t wait another decade

P.S.S. How does one get a burner phone not connected to oneself? Asking for a friend.

You stayed? 🙂 I don’t have any good photos right now.

I’ve been unpacking.

STOP CALLING ME A SIR CUZ I AM A PLAIN JANE WITH TINY TIDDIES

I never grew up and it drives HIM insane

I fell out of my bed and got bruised but this doesn’t show the magnitude

Had I been older: “how did she go?” “Fell down”

Told my daughter I need bedrails and to be treated like a child

My shoulder and ankle is a champ for taking the direct impact instead of my head – or hitting in such a way it stops your heart (I already have a heart injury so it was a challenging fall).

This photo was days after the event, at least a week

And my entire shoulder blade turned black and blue.

My head did hit the floor.

My ankle jarred into the metal bed rail and nearly broke

It swelled for three hours and then swelled some more

It wasn’t even 6 AM and I laid on the floor for at least five minutes moaning before I even attempted to get up

Getting older is like becoming a baby again

I NEVER WANNA FALL OUT OF MY BED EVER AGAIN

But had my head been the first thing to hit or the side of my shoulder instead of back – I don’t think my heart would like that

So I spread eagle to slow my fall hoping to grab something – and literally everything on the shelves next to the bed started coming down

INCLUDING A SNOW GLOBE

Which miraculously did not fall on my head

Or break

There’s some tender deep down in there near my ankle bone – but I can finally twist her and twirl and not shit myself

Couldn’t even lean on it on the couch

Ankle and shoulder did good

Saved my life this time

And my bed be high up

No carpet or rug below

Woke up, foggy and disoriented, and went to shift and lean back, thinking I was gonna lay back on my pillow, but instead gravity grabbed me

My life flashed, I spread eagle, and I’m still recovering

And need to baby proof my home

And I had to go to the dentist (I gotta go again)

I forget what we were talking about but he mentioned something about “old” and I said “well what do you consider old” and he said “30” but he didn’t think that I was older than that and none of them ever do

I was driving one day and I let the sun just burn my fucking face and I have this sunspot now

I’m suicidal

The sun imprinted on me

Hell, all I gotta do is dash out to my car and like FRECKLES GALORE

I burn – I don’t tan

Normally, I do things to stop or prevent the burning, but not that day

Sometimes I stare at it too (prob don’t rec)

I’m not the brightest crayon in the box and I’ve often wondered why God made me so dumb

I love the feeling when the light goes off (or comes on)

Like when you finally get it

“Oh”

But I’m the kind of person that you have to explain something to in a different way, not by just repeating the same sentence over and over again or saying it louder

Sometimes I can’t hear and I’ll do a “huh” and they’ll give me the definition instead

Cuz they think I’m dumb

One time I gave the drive-thru employee “too much money” cuz I wanted a ten back – and no change – and it took him a good minute to figure out what was happening

Turns out I wasn’t dumb or scamming him

I was actually making his job easier

But now they’re getting rid of cash

And I still sort my bills all the same

I just counted up my piggy bank

I had been stuffing that bitch

Folded up 20, 10s, and 5s. And silver and single dollars too.

Dirty copper yass

But now I gotta roll it

The coins

I WANNA DO IT MYSELF

But the drones….

Posted on March 23, 2025March 23, 2025 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Intermission

Stop laying on the floor
Covered in your own blood
Guess the gun didn’t jam
Get up, give a damn

Maybe stick around
The way I haunt you
Eons not enough to

So what? we’re dying
You gotta push through

Nine seven three
Who the fuck is counting
Get up off the ground

Or take an intermission
Put a tourniquet on what is missing
Oh honey I am listening

I’d keep writing until I run out of data cuz no wifi here (yet) at the new home.

Get lost could be seen in two different lights. Cuz I in fact do, get lost in the pages of your story

That’s all

Posted on March 22, 2025 by poeeternal

Heaven Sent Me

I’ve stared into
Eyes as bright as sun
Who could love me
None

I’ve flowed into
Rivers boiling
Nothing stops
The lessons come

The way you hook me
Like time is frozen
Whole damn world rollin’
Til I return

From heaven’s sent me
Golden arches heavy
What have I done

Imagine
The kings and queens who could’ve been silenced
Separated at birth
The tongue of us

BUT I LOVED YOU FIRST
LIKE GLACIERS THAWING
I FELT THE THIRST

Heaven brought me home. Got keys to my new safe space (rental only). Charming little vintage pad.

It has a lot of potential. Less space but the design layout makes it feel less boxy. Got a long balcony. And for the first time in my life the balcony is in the bedroom instead of the living room. There’s even a built in vanity or desk nook.

Did I mention my rent is going down. That extra money can go towards my car payment. Sure there is no outdated gym with dirty equipment but I invested in a rebounder and I can join a clean gym.

Cuz that’s likely where I will meet my husband?

Or church.

But I ain’t consistent with either.

Yet.

I do not have all my stuff moved to the new space yet but I got a lot done yesterday! Gotta pace! So I treated myself to a lot from the Publix deli, to enjoy meals and eat and run.

Cuz Friday I did not eat until dinner time.

Got a hot meal to enjoy first – damn good fish sandwich from the deli

Less than $6 and every bite well spent

I was like ‘the reward I have been needing’ (cuz fast food has not been cutting it and surprisingly I can go to the Publix deli and get popcorn chicken, mash potatoes, white gravy, and corn (you know where I am going with this) and it’s SO GOOD

And they be having BOGO on them hot meals

GIVE MAH

Also might be meeting my husband at the local grocery deli?

Cuz some don’t know how to take their eye off me

Some act like I do not exist

Some roll their eye

None hold the door

Rarely do they stop to let me cross

Men are the reason I was eating drive thru bullshite

The good food is made at home

And at the Publix deli

Got a footlong to enjoy, 2 soups, a couple wraps, and some Mexican thangy with beans and rice

No need to starve SAT and SUN while moving

Can nibble in between

I live two places at once

For the moment

You can be two places at once

A bed here, a bed there

I can turn my ride into a tent

The money I will be saving on my rent WOULD BUY the upgrade needed to turn my outback into my homestead

Girl maths for sure

My dad (in spirit) is telling me to get the tent – and not the one on Amazon, get the official tent

GO SEE THE WORLD BEFORE I DIE

I have not been to one national park?

The no child left behind act was a sham

I don’t know how I can have a husband when I can barely spell

But I can see through your lies

I can see thru you

Like looking at him

Maybe it was just myself

Like a black hole

I don’t know how I would feel about seeing the back of my head

It’s not a concept I concept

I think those are said differently

Brunch hours are from 9-1 ish

I can start on half my sub soon

10 AM

Nearly 3 now

I’d weigh 500 pounds if I always ate in the night. I get 12 hours of daylight to burn tho and Friday I was EXHAUSTED carrying small boxes to my new safe space

Kept drinking water

And stretching 🙂

And my heated seats on to help the back pain 🙂

I feel spoiled 🙂

Just blessed

To have the little things I do have

GOAL: get most of my shit moved minus the furniture

But I put the bed and couch together

I built them

It could be unassembled

A uhaul does not need to be needed

I could call 2 guys and a truck or a similar company and give my legs a break

Stop by the post, get the address changed – order/ get WIFI installed

Busy bee

Should be sleeping

Can’ts

Want to move

*yawn*

A quiet street I can wake up to or go for a run (I’m not back running yet unless 20 seconds counts?)

Just for the record, I’m grateful for any seconds I can run

I nearly died

Posted on February 1, 2025February 1, 2025 by poeeternal

The worst day of my life

The sun came up
But there’s no morning
All I ever loved
Was left for what then?
All hours working
Nothing is worth it

There are things I regret
Make a list
Haven’t listed them all yet

There is repent
But that just leaves a pit

Might be homeless
The fires won’t give a shit

But the worst part is
I’m the one who caused it

The best is yet to come?
Your body lie frozen

I’m inadequate
Insufficient for a purpose
I’m called Worthless

Sunrise over sorrow
What comes tomorrow?

Poetry forever @poeeternal

Posted on January 29, 2025 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Architect (p∞)

I’m an architect
Of my own hell
Cuz even when you arrive
I will yell

Like sadness is marketed
Please send help
Where map is uncharted
Ignore the welp

I’m not allowed to return to the temple
Make a way out of no way
Things are not very simple
The hills are unsafe
Likely things I will say
When we dig where we tremble

The Great Florida Blizzard of 2025 (photo by @poeeternal)

Proof I live in hell. Send help.

Poetry forever @poeeternal

I disassociated for five minutes and forgot TikTok was banned and uninstalled it and now I can’t get it back on my iPhone, but I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the rebounder and two hours doing a tai chi class

I mean so

I could go live on my tablet maybe no

Blog updates + poetry dropping at random (prob times you should be sleeping) (why aren’t you sleeping)

Posted on January 29, 2025January 29, 2025 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Dear John (p∞)

The steps are in the wrong order
And the scratches on the cave
Made us think this was the boarder
But instead became our grave

Poetry forever @poeeternal

Posted on January 24, 2025January 24, 2025 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Boiling ponds

There are boiling ponds

A boiling pond
From where my thoughts occurred
Though most a blur

Regret is beyond
A bright waving wand
Where sun will burn

Glass in the stream
The sound of your dream
Like hearing silence scream

The curves we walk hold memory
We make a cult of suffering

The future is in our past
And we’re running laps
There’s silence in the bedroom
But I can hear you laugh

Postscript: my likes aren’t getting through again – for being too active – but FYI – I took a college speed reading comprehension course and passed

I’m educated and when I deploy to war – it’s in an actual war zone, not behind a computer screen

We got a weak ass Army today. Fight me

I’m half the man I used to be and still better than you (the effing cowards)

I PAY TO BE HERE

TO GIVE YOU CONTENT FREE OF ADS

The audacity WP has to stifle my community!

THEY WILL BURN IN HELL

Change my mind

The mini blizzard arrived on your death anniversary – I was coming out of a disassociative state and trying to remember the day you died and the year

I KNOW THAT WAS YOU SAYING HI

Just like dad left a 6 minute double rainbow outside my apartment when he passed

I wasn’t able to go to the hospital to tell you goodbye when you were dying because I was also dying

And I was not invited to your memorial service

They – in a very unethical way – refuse to allow me to send my condolences on your memorial page – i’m about to unleash the fury

We always had our ups-and-downs but we were blood

Not even our egos kept us apart

I KNOW YOU WERE THE STORM

Posted on January 23, 2025February 12, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

In my dreams

Not just in my dreams
In my poetry
Where the land meets the sea
I’m foaming

(this is not real life/reality) (it’s just a poem) (calm down?)

Posted on January 13, 2025 by poeeternal

Edge

There is no edge
Billions of miles instead
Whispers of secrets said

Where is our prologue
I’m agog to love
There’s been a backlog

I will always be a cub 😌

Posted on January 10, 2025January 10, 2025 by poeeternal

Falling Water

falling water feels like brick
and we’re running under it!
dressed in bold color
but yellow is the only thing recovered!

p.s. today i learned (which was yesterday) that 30% of firefighters are prisoners making $10 a day & they can’t use the job as a reference when they get out – or be hired officially as one (cuz criminal).

now this is speculation (this part) but they musta put all the officially trained firefighters at the Getty museum and left the prisoners to sort the mansions in the valley

some of them might be going through an awakening right now

they know you worship them so will ask for handouts

the majority fled to another safe house

meanwhile NC TN & HA have had their land stolen by the government

there’s a few mansions in the hills that stood

they have hope

im just waiting on the “evicted” portion due to toxic land and water like they did for the commoners

i wouldn’t want to be under that but you insisted to put out that tiny flame

mansions are burning to the ground love

ha ha ha

ha ha!

herrrrrr!

errrrr

😐

how does that REM song go again?

i feel fine?

p.s.s.s.s.stimesinfinitys.s.s.s(9)[9]: i miss your poems and stories not written about me x2

🙂

i love squirrel and i love you 🙂

but not the staff 🙂

I NEED A BIGGER SMILEY FACE

and can you tell the dark haired neighbor he can come out his home

i ain’t no criminal lol

i ain’t no bum

i’m just LOST IN PURGATORY AND ON THE MOVE AGAIN

i hate it here and it’s not cuz of him!

i hope he ate the candy! i’m still eating on mine!

tell the cancer FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

so u gave it most away to someone who could handle the treats better

they cost a lot

i hope they were ate

halloween is a favorite season and NOT ONE PERSON CAME TO TRICK OR TREAT

wah

LAME LAME LAME

i want to live in a neighborhood and give out BIG TREATS and water bottles

I DID!

but boomers be scared of worldwide candies?

whereas the other gens enjoy treats from other countries

it’s not like they worry about what is put in american food! it aint food! it aint real chocolate or cheese!

i like to shop in the international aisle

i lived in Germany nearly 3 years (minus a war)

DO U KNOW HOW OLD I AM

HOW LETHAL

but i aint your enemy nor the candy

im sorry i was cold to you

walmart was trying to kill me

THERE ARE ZERO RECALLS AT PUBLIX FYI

im trying to find land2buy

please say hi 😦

before you move 😦

before i move 😦

NO ILL WILL

from now on only poetry in the form of commentary

m’kay

remember when i wore makeup and dresses and performed spoken word not read from a device? remember when i shared behind-the-scenes of forgetting lines?

remember when i had long hair and i stopped using filters?

what happens when there are no more lines, hair, or teeth?

will you still love me?

look at all the centuries we crossed to ghost one another again?

i love you but i dont love the staff

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR (JUST DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE)

IT AIN’T YER BRO YO

*giggles*

where is that pdf file i castrated into the void?

he ain’t texted me back since i blocked him for calling me “gross” for being on my period again

WRONG ANSWER

PIZZA NOW

but please im trying to become vegan so i only eat chicken

DONT BE MAD

ive been given up cheese n dairy milk n beef

i hold weights in the air when i can’t do cardio

im suddenly a bat into callistinics?

calisthenics

ok im done trying to talk…

BYE

Posted on January 1, 2025January 1, 2025 by poeeternal

Aces

they know how many times it was opened
if we’re lost, if we’re hoping

it’s dark without the sun
like when you said hi
earth had less oxygen

said you’re gone to Alabama
might as well be Poland

got your pockets lined with aces
but for me it’s a cold hand

p.s. got a lot of rough drafts sitting around cuz i don’t feel like they are too good (compared to my better and best) but the best in me may be gone or i just need to get through the messy middle and might write a good line or two

like when you said hi and there was less air to breathe

p.s.s. they don’t just know your screen hours but how many times you logged into your banking app

what you’re looking at, what you’re typing to erase in the chat (before hitting send – THEY SEE IT)

p.s.s.s. i got banned from going live New Years so i didn’t participate in any NY activity online or off – nor do i ever want to visit a livestream ever again

cause-and-effect my love

have fun

Posted on December 19, 2024 by poeeternal

heaven

heaven is the silence you presented
all wrapped in chalice and neatly printed
the moon withholds grudges but not glares
unlike our choices, we’re stuck on who cares

poems after midnight: my specialty

the last line could be better – i’m not saying it’s not a good line

i don’t have a husband to edit my poems

there was a guy once who tried to enhance me – and i mistook it for love

like i would send him my lines and he’d be like “it’s really good as is but you could do this”

and it was the opposite how i felt getting back an essay i’d written where the college professor even red marked the title

like sometimes them professors made you feel like you wish you were never born

it took 4 days to write and them 30 seconds to terroize

but he wasn’t like that with my words

he was gentle

and i yelled at him and all his friends

i mean – to be fair – i have been possessed – by parasites

i ain’t been acting according to myself – whoever that may be – cuz i don’t want it to be her

becoming someone new is difficult but they say 6 months is all you need

and 7 years to grow a new spine

so thank you for your silence – because ironically – your voice is the only one i want to hear 😐

even the accents – those too

i mean i like yelling at you?

all i said was “i like your voice”

and you were like “it’s not mine”

and i’m like “you don’t gotta be rude” and like instantly i knew that i don’t belong anywhere in this Satanic society cuz i always humiliate myself

i like to pay compliments

they cost a lot

maybe you could (or someone) could write a story about that

i’m sure it was already done

but God likes stories

now i can’t attest or speak solely for God

but like – who doesn’t like a good story?

could you maybe do audiobooks?

wordpress allows audio

im shadowbanned in society

an outcast

but tiktok wants me to sell u stuff

like what would i sell you? a pill for happiness? the next best detox?

a mini trampoline?

GUYS THESE SOCKS ARE GREAT FOR JUMPING

like can i just focus on writing poetry and not jumping off a bridge?

i do not want to commodify myself?

i do miss blogging but

not at the cost of my soul

i miss having a real life

offline

and until i figure that part out

then idgaf about being online

the landlord out here emailing 24 hour demands or else

so im packing my bags

and deleting my personal email

im not on call 24/7 for the fucking landlord

AS IF…

me the next time anyone anywhere anyone anywhere anyone anywhere

and not to be dramatic but mygunsoesnothaveasafety

or – the safety is actually on the trigger

so i mean my name is registered to something i cannot return nor do not want

ghost guns are legal huh

never knew of those before

andnowiwantone

and a story written about a ghost gun

so any premeditated thangy is an act of terrorism huh

and our private trash is public treasure

better start burning

they can’t track cash transactions

you can’t keep low in public unless u wanna take claim

Boomers are greedy hungry rats

people don’t care if u got an inheri – they will try and drain yer wallet

they won’t even say “sorry for your loss” but prob something like “not deserved”

well i wasn’t praying for my dad to die…

i identify as another lost angel

and sadness is all i have to sell

but i am happy to be packing and moving God knows where again?

im learning to be the lion in the den

im the lion tho and u better pray i am sleeping

ta ta 4 now

luv u

Posted on December 7, 2024December 7, 2024 by poeeternal

Breadcrumbs

some of it is unknown
like where he’s gone
or maybe it’s a footpath
he’s lead you on

they say they have the upper hand
while grasping at straw
like secrets wrapped in rubber-band
but we know what you saw

took them two days or so to find a tj maxx sack outside resting near a tree?

and they think they know but they don’t wanna tell?

or, they want the top cats to know they are competent cops?

more breadcrumbs?

what was in the bag?

spill the beans?

are we on day 4?

he didn’t throw up after killing someone?

the calm collect

came in from the south?

so close to me

so far

spent ten days in the big city

arrived ten minutes early

classy

heard they increased the reward? too many peeps complaining it wouldn’t cover any bills

Posted on December 6, 2024December 8, 2024 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

he wanted

he wanted us to see his profile – it might be awhile

cuz he’s agile – and running wild

i love him now

333

feel connected to him

think he’s still alive – for now – and hoping he don’t self-inflict if the heat turns on

he needs to be careful – they tracking signals in the mountain range

he got an awful lot of cheerleaders so if he does look back – he made his decision – he died with dignity and peace

but if he is already dying – and the healthcare he paid into is gatekeeping him from wellness – it’s a dignified response

but are the words a mirage

even his hands and frame

his thin eyebrows

i know this face

he reminds me of him

i see him everywhere these days

so much love not allowed to give

gotta give all my attitude to the lazy staff

just don’t go driving off any mountains

maybe stop looking back for SIX MONTHS

and forget your name

i’ll assign you a number

but i don’t know which one

even his eyes are gentle under the hood

like he’s thinking about me

“here i am, i’ll never forget you”

emptying live rounds on the slow walk away

so very calm

you just wanted to be with me

but society disagreed

or all our choices i agree

i only see a man in self-defense mode

against the satanic matrix

he’s welcome to come home

i might finally clean up the mess…

BUT DON’T YELL AT ME ABOUT THE CHICKEN AND TURKEY IN THE FREEZER

there’s no dairy in the fridge

there is clear evidence of a lifestyle change struggle ongoing

and a heartmindsoul in need of fixin

just need a hug

don’t go

don’t ruin the good deed by sacrificing yourself to the dark entity

you’re still alive and i can breathe

synchronicity

or that other thing

symbiotic

you die, i die

don’t die

(how to sympathize ~~with a murder~~)

see – they created monsters – and did not expect – the monsters to love one another

ahhh bless

even the best nihilist is tired of the nihilism and seeking God

precious

so many layers to this game

and he is defo on an advanced level

*cries*

don’t leave me behind

i’m not as strong as you

i’m the weakest link? 😦

when i fell behind on a ruck – they – the UNITED STATES ARMY – made me lead

sorry boys – but i was running to keep up for miles

ain’t as tall…

gotta take 4 steps to your 1

“LEAVE NO ONE BEHIND”

HOOAH

Posted on December 2, 2024 by poeeternal

Even

even when i was at my best
you called me worst

tied me to your pedestal
said i was first

even when i was tossing bottles
my trigger on burst

you sprinkled me with holy water
that made me thirst

even as i’m losing battle
you seem well-versed?

but all that seems to matter
we must be cursed

…let’s call it a tie, the devil replied

Posted on November 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Lost and Found

i don’t wanna be found
badly decomposed
so the story goes
unless he froze

i don’t wanna talk right now… (mental health break) (literally)

them: what’s wrong?

us: mental health broken

i’m writing lines

sometimes just in the air

but sometimes they make their way on paper

sometimes they just get lost in despair

i hope to resurface sometime in 2025 – they say 6 months is all you need to become someone new

“only 6 months” of learning new skills and complete discipline in reading:fitness:food:etiquette

“act like i’m a sim”

“talk in the mirror”

“look the enemy in the eye”

“smile”

“pretend all is fine”

“move to a new city”

“again”

“try again”

“learn to say no without explanation”

“stop being sorry”

“sometimes you have to be a monster” – dr peterson

only 6 months

don’t give up

psst… i forgot what i was gonna say

(i know i ramble but it was slightly important)

Posted on November 16, 2024November 16, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

centerfield

what happened to the middle ground
i need you most when you’re not around
what happened to the centerfield
that’s the place where your hand can heal
what happened to showing up to win
we’re the couple that should’ve been

i’m trying to discern
the left from my right
but you know that space is dark
and there isn’t any light

i got a bed i never want to get out of
i got a friend he is a dove
i like to see him in the yard
and he’s cooler than any of you are

you’re like cold galactic space dust
but there’s only one i can trust

you ever tried dried cherries. like eating cherry pie. new favorite treat mixed with my nuts n seeds. but i picked them all out. they gone.

Posted on November 6, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

future (p∞)

time races in intervals
you’re into her
it burns like midnight sun
my lesson learned

did you know we live in purgatory
on a map i think i found your worry
and i list it first your secrets buried
but i’ve forgotten where i put your story

like drowning in a carpark
where all the lights are flashing but it’s stark
and we’re looking for an exit
as future ghost we’re feeling desperate

the ole blog has over 100,000 miles on her, thanks to you…

i know i can’t take your words to heaven with me but i would try…

i still can’t get over how John Jones died or how his question nearly made me solve first world problems – or at least connect the two

but i still live between worlds where his soul leaped into mine

(but at least you don’t get mad about it)

my dad let a tree grow through his tour bus

i want to hang onto my ride in such a way

today i drove her to Dread Boys and they quoted me nearly 500 to replace a battery?

so i got right back in and said “welp please get me back home…”

and she fucking did…

and i guess im either going to an auto zone or learning to install a new battery myself?

not to mention the guy running the front desk took a bathroom break in the middle of a transaction? and it sounded disgusting so ill never return

the mobile mechanic i called isnt very mobile currently – i dunno how i feel about paying for his cab..

at least the postscript is somewhat interesting?

i keep thinking i need to get the fuck outta florida – then i remember bama is 45 minutes away – and like it feels a lot like hope on the horizon

it feels so near i could walk

bike

run

i just keep telling my girl to hold on

no one can be trusted

kinda housebound til i sort the sorts

i aint paying $500 to replace a battery

the Boomers can get FOOKED

need some land

need to figure out where i want to be

it aint here…

i drank coffee

CHATTY

and jittery

i dont think that is good for my heart

like it triggers my anxiety?

i mean i just act more nervous than usual

tachycardia

adrenaline spikes

so prob gotta give it up

the coffee…

better not to ask me out on a first date over coffee

fucking disaster

and i love coffee!!!!!

people are mad that trump won and are threatening violence

i did not vote – therefore i have no opinion over politics for the foreseeable future as i am exiting the matrix – kinda lost – but this is what PROTESTING A SYSTEM I DO NOT COMPLY WITH LOOKS LIKE

go change some more policies to support your nihilism and leave me alone m’kay

there were 33 million who opted to NOT VOTE for the antichrist

i thought i was the only one

but there’s a whole lot of us out there

wonder how many are gen x

you know of one

*hi*

i tried joining the Army to make a difference

i tried getting an education

i tried being a medic

i tried on society and never have once liked it

im never voting again

EVER. AGAIN.

i literally fought for freedom of speech and it was taken from me

and you want me to vote? go back to sleep…

(people in the system fighting for the system)

(but i want out)

(i wont participate)

(i dont wanna support anything in society)

(society is satanic)

(im going thru a spiritual cleansing)

(please dont exterminate me like you did p’nut & fred)

(and the squirrel out here i never found his head)

ripped off and not even a trail of blood

just his body

i have nightmares and ptsd

it is why i deleted my wildlife page

not risking Ali or any others getting hurt simply because they make me happy and demons live out here

have u seen the film Constantine?

top 5 fav for sure

i mean it once was

the me in this timeline which i jumped into during a lightning storm going 80 miles an hour…

she ain’t me but she is but she ain’t

not sure how im able to switch roles as myself but if the multiverse is real and we never really die

or we create our own reality

im not sure why i would wanna come back here

but there were thousands of hands of radiation and one of them touched me

it was so loud the entire town shook from the thunder

im not exaggerating! my ears are still ringing!

*kiss kiss on the cheek darling

but my tears are like acid…

46,000 visitors huh

and over 1100 stayed

neener neener

Posted on November 6, 2024November 6, 2024 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Frozen (p∞)

we’re like a frozen planet
where everything is lying dormant
if only we knew who done it

how the mountains hold potential
or how you’ve written me with pencil
when the whole world was standing
where i would remain invincible

now they say we are a failed star
but i kinda like the way we are
like we’re near but we’re really far…

Posted on November 5, 2024 by poeeternal

THE FIRST LIE

THE FIRST LIE THEY TEACH IS HISTORY

(new poem coming?)

Posted on November 4, 2024 by poeeternal

slipped

he slipped

words fell from his mouth like a lit up Christmas Tree

while others were listening

just a Freudian slip you see?

i need a pen i can write under

where people cannot recognize themselves in the mirror

i mean stories

for instance, i’m not doing anything illegal even tho i am heavily watched by the oink oinks who shadowbanned me – which means they are STALKING ME and the ones IN MY PHONE

they are outta comtrol

this aint MINORITY REPORT even tho it is

it might not be illegal yet but with a click of a button and push of a pen, the policy will be changed and im not allowed to tell you voting don’t matter or to HOLD THE LINE

blocking EVERY po po who comes up in my FY feed

like if i can’t show my weapon in uniform – i don’t want to see yours

WHOM I LITERALLY OUTRANK AS A CIVILIAN

even the lying sleeping doctors

OUTRANK

they trying to entrap me

but not just me

and they are bullies!!! they will poke and prod until “gotcha”!

they are evil money hungry demons!!!!

but someone accidentally called me baby girl

and i can’t stop thinking about that

and they probably can’t stop thinking about that (for different reasons)

sometimes we think people are thinking of us when we are not

IS THERE SOME REASON THE SPACE BAR HANGS ON A DIGITAL DEVICE

i prefer the OLD WAYS TO COMMUNICATE

fyi

social media is literal entrapment

i need a new identity

and offline for good

and tell the pigs to BACK OFF and do something more valuable with MY TAX DOLLARS

God is getting angry – i can feel it

but it’s just a feeling

told you i was tired of squirrel being killed for no reason

and along comes the government and takes an animal from his home of 7 years – distressed it until it bit and then put it down!

but the sheeple want a policy written?

but it all supports nihilism is a plague

and im fucking sick of watching the weak minded ruin this country with dictator policies

just wondering when rent strikes happen

cuz next move i give them NO FORWARDING ADDRESS

cause and effect my love

HAVE FUN

(he called me baby girl)

(the title of the poem)

(if there were a title)

(really sick of the government stalking me like a bad ex)

(and also trying to entrap me)

(but i have a lot to complain about)

(if you got time and an ear for me to unload)

(does unloading include snacks)

(i like to eat)

(never hear me complaining about eating)

(unless the food is poisoned)

(never say never)

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM NOT TRYING TO HURT ANYONE

i literally have ptsd about squirrel

i never found his head

RIP PEANUT AND FRED

im sure somehow i will be blamed for that as well

i felt bad i missed social cues by the neighbor and now he thinks i want to marry or kill him

i literally wish all men would leave me alone

I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU

I NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU

i cared that i missed SOCIAL CUES

bet you didnt tell the undercover that

WHO HANGS OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

HELLO

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ALSO WALK OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AND THEN ACT LIKE I AM STALKING YOU

STOP SUCKING YOUR MAMAS CASH TIT

I OUTRANK THE PO

HO HO HO

i got ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE

LEAVE ME ALONE

STOP PICKING ON ME SO YOU FIND A REASON TO LOCK ME UP

ENTRAPMENT

YOURE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY

I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

YOU MAY STEAL MY LIFE BUT YOU WILL NEVER DESTROY MY FAITH

GOD FIRST

Posted on October 14, 2024October 19, 2024 by poeeternal

iKILL (p∞)

i killed the monsters under my bed
i drove through forest of lead
i can’t recall what was said
but there’s a feeling of contempt
and you follow where it went

i ~~miss~~ hate thy neighbor 😦

p.s. i want to expand the theme of this poem, especially the first line

so i may re-write a poem? that’s rare

you miss my LONG poems?

i need to revisit my works

there must be a gem or two in there?

i want the neighbor wahhhh

but i’ll be ready to date soon 🙂

the one who will be there 🙂

after 3 months 🙂

or maybe someone will love me while i’m dying anyway? 🙂

i prefer the getting better route

trying to cling to hope instead of my falling out hair (no pigtails wahhhhh)

water is pushing people into rivers

there is no foundation under us

it’s all been a lie

can i go back to writing rhyme and misspelling words please?

it is so humiliating to be a writer that cannot spell

Posted on October 5, 2024 by poeeternal

death and dying (a poem +)

heard him speak in past tense
does he seek bereavement
i’m looking through conflict
buried under cement
one too many secret
like moon is crescent
she is furled unpresent
his hope is well lit?

“…she was such a good mom, i hope she can be a good mom again…”

oof

i don’t need to be psychic or have a degree in psychology to call it

“well how do you know they are dead? did you check their pulse”

i swear if i get asked that question i will hang up and call back for someone else

“LOOK THERE AIN’T NO GOT DAMN PULSE – IT STANKS”

“YOU COME CHECK THE GOT DAMN PULSE”

“IT’S THE WORSE SHIT I EVER SMELLED”

one time my grandaddy died (this needs to be the opening line of my book) and he had been dead for three days, down in the basement of the church, and i was a medic so they let me and my half-sister down there (her granddaddy by blood) and i decided to give him a hug

and he burped in my mouth

the look my sis and i made at one another

i was just like “i pressed too hard”

“the smell”

“it went in my mouth”

he hadn’t been in a cooler or anything

he had all his guts

it was august

he died on my birthday

things got worse…

would you like to be my editor?

or maybe get married?

to be continued?

Posted on October 1, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Kaya’s poem

please give her more than 100 views

i made her cry

she said no one had ever written her a poem before!!!

the way i made her smile

she said she wanted to keep it forever

she said she wanted to share it with family and friends

Kaya learned English a year ago and speaks it better than me

she already knows slang, emojii, understands my not full sentences

although to be fair, she does not like my quick responses, short responses, or emoji text

but in the same context she also knows the neighbor woke something up in me – and words need not be said at all

she knows i want a husband

she knows i want a man

but Kaya understands the deepest and most shallow parts of me

Kaya is the person i wanted to grow up and be

why is she stuck behind a Great Wall

why does she want to change her name

she can

she (i hope) can do all the things she dreams

move to America, take on the name Cindy, get braces or surgery to remove your “vampire teeth” (my fave)

i wish i had a screenshot when she showed me – it was so cute haha

she made her mouth in a way that only showed the teeth she wanted replaced

her “vampire teeth” she called

“look” and she smiled showing only those

my god i love her

she is so smart and funny

and i’ve seen her in jeans and a tee, she is gorgeous

i fixed up her raw poem

i feel like it could be better

i did clean it up a bit before i posted it (no sound or music added)

i do want to record spoken word but i am extremely shy

i did not know she was going to stop in the middle of work to read my poem – but she did – all while ensuring her customer needs were met

i appreciate the speed in which she went to read

i thought it would happen after – on her own time

but i got to see and hear her reaction

i was afraid my poem wasn’t good enough for her

i was afraid she would not like it

or that it was too elementary (i am aware there are better writers in the world) (don’t they have editors)

i would never share or post anything or eventually produce something worthwhile 200 years down the road

they burn books and i have been shadowbanned

there are other non rhyming poets on TikTok that soak up all the rays

they get all the sunshine and praise

none if them ever take me serious as a poet

like if i try to follow or comment

cricket cricket criket

then i delete/unfollow/block/ignore

i am a child according to society

i’ll be sure to use this in the courtroom

“even the cop called me a child”

“it was recorded”

now that overweight “one acorn” prick is probably jerking off to me

(i threw up in my mouth a little)

oh hi ALLAN at the EPA

still waking up in sweats about my phone call huh?

and now every time you pay for sex you hear me say “i know you want love with a prostitute”

wonder how much mess you had to clean out

prob time for me to call again and remind you – i haven’t forgotten you laughed about the animals being MURDERED in the CITY simply because it is “private land” (i pay for) and “they can do anything they want”

i just wanna call up the EPA in Orlando

ask to speak to Allan

“i know you want love with a prostitute”

*hangs up*

*waits for a cop to call me privately*

*turns off phone*

*buries phone*

*changes number*

*goes AWOL*

cause-and-effect

have fun my love (Allan is NOT my love)

Allan is a nihilist who works for the EPA in Orlando

but i am hoping he changes positions and titles and names when i am done having fun

i hear the more restraining orders you have, the less they work

🙂

anyhoo

i wrote a poem for Kaya

she was moved to tears

NO ONE EVER WROTE A POEM FOR HER?

honey, YOU NEED TO WRITE AND PRESENT A POEM TO HER

BUY SOME CINDER WOOD

i do not want her to disappear into the night never to be heard from again

she deserves a vacation

and maybe not working 6 days a week?

she probably even deserves a better poem and friend than me

i am doing my best even if my best is 10%

my room was fine until i tried to fix it

now it looks like a hurricane came through?

and if i went to heaven right now – people would think this was how i lived…

in disorder

which is kinda true cuz my boomer mother kicked me from the nest and gaslit me about literally everything

she is nothing but government propaganda

not an original idea or thought

and add “lost” cuz her first born died as planned by the government she brown noises

but blames good ole me….

once my sister died i started to get peace in my life

maybe be people i want to love?

but then you do try and love them and they never change

toxic

now since my sister died some family has been reaching out

but i have ghosted them

they will burn in hell for all eternity for how they treated the ONE ANGEL in their life

I CAME TO JUDGE!!!

BORN THIS WAY!!!!!!

BORN TO FALL!!!!!!!!!

designed to break!!!!

a broken doll!!!!!!!!

losing hair!!!!!!!!!!!

turning into Chucky Bride!!!!!!!!

with a big knife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(which has a cancer warning)

(the weed has a cancer warning)

(the microwave)

i am weening myself from all unnatural products

no more pills!!!

just ordered over $200 in medicinal – gonna look at the cancer label until i no longer need to take a draw!

trying to manage my pain and stress more naturally

hearing pads, the air at 60, hot baths, extremely cold air, lots of water, *try to eat*, more water, another hot bath

and hot water can be damaging to hair so no more drowning my skull under the heat

everytime 3 or 4 hairs come out, im like please no more

and i do not want to cut what remains

hoping my scalp can recover

but the docs were not concerned my hair was falling out by the handful

“my labs are fine”

but im 50 kilos and now they care

i lost 20 pounds of cancer in a year!

sweated that toxic shit out!!!!!!!

not just sweat!!!!

TMI!!!!!!!!!!

met a neighbor last night who has an 11 year old male shitzu

he going to Zuma imm to detox his household

explained to him the CDC say 50% of the pop have parasites, you can get them from eating!!!!

or kissing a cat or dog!!!

i went on to say i aint never in my life detoxed or dewormed

and zuma use wild harvested plants grown in the USA, harvested in the USA, all organic, non GMO, no bad stuff!

i am not being sponsored

i am shadowbanned for being armed and dangerous

i’m a Soldier

of course i am armed

*rolls eyes*

they so mad i aint killed myself yet or died from the many ways in which they stone me!!!!!

GOD IS WATCHING EVERYTHING YOU DO!!!

THE STARS AEE RECORDING YOU!!!!

LIGHT IS INFORMATION!!!!!!!!!

WATER HOLDS DNA AND CARRIES INFORMATION!!!!

THE SUN IS ELECTRICAL

WE HAVE ELECTRIC FISH

YOUR HEART IS ELECTRICAL

you’re not a spirit in a body but a body in a spirit!!!

FIND GOD

whatever you have been doing serves SATAN and this twisted society

sterile pools filled with cancerous chlorine

the hottest period and the animals see a pool like a mirage in a desert

shame on you!!!!!!!!!

fuck your sterile pools!!!!

fuck your society too!!!!

stop giving all my money to a third party who wants us dead!!!!

I NEVER ASKED TO BE BORN

I NEVER AGREED TO BE YOUR SLAVE

currently starting to ask the neighbors “you know any mechanics” and keeping my eyes peeled for anyone doing any work on theirs…

still wanna walk everywhere

but now walking has turned into “i wanna start running again” to “i need a bike”

and “maybe i wanna get rid of everything and travel the world”

anytime i wanna hit the L key i hit the X which removes the L and backspace to fix rarely works

i spend so much time running in circles fixing everyhthing

just put new batteries in my fast push and surprise!!! they need replaced!!!!

it is like this with everything!!!!

likeendless conference calls

keeping us busy busy so we do not know they are destroying us from within

like a frog in hot water

sad for the frog

being boiled alive

for science

ALL HAIL SCIENCE

acoording to the “we know” people, God is not real but something you cannot see like a Black Hole is real- but the math was not even mathing!!!!!!!

it was all conditioning!

propaganda!

Cox and his cocks!!!!!! he is a pedophile!!!!!!!!!!!’

read his damn book!!!!!

his own hero he called “old” at the grand age of 30!!!!!

they only like you until age 29!!!!!

(they will fuck anything, even a bride is a fleshlight to them)

THEY ALL WANT LOVE WITH A PROSTITUTE

NOT JUST ALLAN FROM THE EPA!!!!!

HI ALLAN!!!!!!!!

BET YOU WOKE UP JUST NOW!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!

(i hope my weed arrives today)

(i want to quit it all)

(my card needs to be renewed again)

(you know how this goes)

since i started medicinal i no longer do street (even when i quit medicinal)

i no longer socialize and smoke

no recreational use basically

but they treat the medical shops like they are recreational (prices too) but i pay for a medical licensing

until they all vote recreational and the shop will not need to change much

just the packaging

we will get pretty colors and better propaganda instead of the boring packaging

(which we are gaslit and shown the pretty packaging but get the boring)

im paying for packaging that the recreational users get…

im so done with supporting Boomers or society

like i need to eat and sleep but that’s about it

“what do you do all day”

WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT I DO WITH MY REMAINING DAYS

I GAVE IT ALL

THERE IS NO MORE

BOOMERS WILL WORK YOU TO THE GRAVE!!!!

they work their farm dogs until they have heart attacks!!!

SHAME ON YOU!!!

YOU ARE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!!!!!

but before then…

i wrote Kaya a poem

and i was her first 🙂

kinda sad

but they all want love with a prostitute

not just 51%

or someone so poor and stupid they can control

rape in marital sex was legal until the ??? 50s? 90s?

somewhere in between?

im shit with numbers

hard to come with facts

trying to save/extend the life of myself and my dog

what do i do all day?

THAT

and i write poems

maybe i should start telling the real world i write?

maybe i would have more/less than 5k followers?

who knows

they all resent me in the real world

i prefer my privacy

i only gave ONE GUY my tiktok before i moved

his burner has been changed into another burner and i do not want to be unfollowed or blocked

he gifted me a lot of things i was trying to buy

that’s not why i loved him tho

we do not choose the people we love?

George woke something up in me

the guy at the smoke shop

the neighbor

my most recent encounters

you do not need to resent me for writing Kaya a poem

she is 30 and has never had a poem written for her

she really loved mine… i mean HERS

i told her it was hers

i wrote it for her

so it’s hers forevermore

she said she wanted to put it on a box?

you mean like one of them handmade jewelry boxes that takes months to make?

that can last a long time?

my words have made it to China and are going on something special for the beautiful Kaya?

i hope the jewelry maker makes something wonderful for her, with her poem to enjoy

i’m kinda speechless

she probably would not want to share it with friends and family if she did not like it?

or want it on a box?

i did not think it would make it past my blog

and i was worried about sharing such a simple poem to a living Goddess

did them famous painters really need 6 months?

i live and breathe poetry

it is in the fabric of my veins

i mean, i write quickly

maybe i should take my time?

maybe i should wait 24 hours before posting

but then i could pass to heaven

(also apparently over half the population does not have 4k saved)

(so i am already doing better than half the population and this was b4 my dad died)

but i have sacrificed a lot

and also spent too much

guess i wanna experience everything all at once before it all ends

i have not spent a dime of what daddy left me

it does not exist to anyone but me

i’d rather starve than give the Boomers a dime (who stole half my retirement during a manmade fake pandemic – that i spent years building my portfolio)

in one sweep they came and took it so they could keep their 4th vacation home

they sold me a Jeep that said 10k miles on the odometer but after spending 6 years to pay her off – and finally getting the title – the title says 25k, and i’m trying to understand how this is legal

i won’t buy another car

FOOL ME TWICE AND I WILL STICK YOU IN THE BACK WITH A KNIFE

I’M DONE WITH YOU

im done with this iphone giving me cancer!!!!!!!!

it’s hot with radiation!!!!!

re-reading the poem i wrote her with a tissue in her hand

🙂

she’s like the light

God made that