I don’t have the heart to tell you

Health update

Doc says my EKG doesn’t look good. And I’ve been having heart issues lately. She says one chamber looks enlarged and one looks closed off. Just an FYI because not all disabilities are visible. Depression isn’t my only ailment. I hope you’ll excuse how shitty I look, I’m on bed rest and between doctor visits. Wanna get back to working out and cosplay soon – But I just received this news this morning about my EKG results and I’m still trying to process the news. I just returned from seeing my doctor and I’m pending being scheduled for an ultrasound. She started me on aspirin as well. She said I’m too young for this and she doesn’t like how my EKG looks.

I have a constant pain there too – knowing that it could potentially be because it’s a chamber torn is freaking me out. So I’m trying not to get into my head and into my anxiety.

So to sum things up, two of the chambers of my heart are questionable and of concern for my doctor.

I have been having chest pains and I can feel pressure in my heart. Sometimes I can feel blockages or like maybe I have blood clots.

I don’t have the heart to tell you that I’m dying



Only one thing I really want before I die.

His kiss.

And a box for my bones.

I had the bullets in the chamber though didn’t I

Moderna was Russian roulette but the CDC hadn’t released the information regarding blood clots and I know it’s happening in Moderna too, I mean I’m fucking proof….

I was complaining of heart issues and potential blood clots with my doctor and she prescribed me aspirin but I’m convinced now Moderna is to blame.

There’s always going to be casualties of war.

I told you I was out here in the trenches didn’t I.

Didn’t I?

So now I’m telling you don’t get the fucking shot if you already have heart issues and are experiencing blood clot issues unless you want to play Russian roulette with the vaccine and blow your fucking heart out like I’ve done

I didn’t know the vaccine was causing blood clot issues prior to me getting dose one and and all assured I was good to go for dose two even though my blood pressure fucking dropped.

Woo hoo hold on BB!!! The end is near!

Check make for the New World Order because they won’t have to pay me any more if I fucking die

I won’t be a fucking crutch on the system anymore will I

More money in their fucking pockets to play on the fucking yachts

Casualties of war!!!!

The unknown soldier!

They got me!

Knocked out whaaaa 40 + years of my life? With a fucking vaccine I knew was too fucking new and risky to do.


*tries not to go fucking crazy and destroy everything in my home that I’ve worked for

*tries not to jump off a fucking bridge

Moderna is to blame and my shitty eating habits during this fucking quarantine

Modern medicine don’t mean shit if you’ve lost your will to live

Or can’t even get into the fucking VA for a fucking ultrasound when you got two chambers in your heart fucked up

Moderna IS to blame

Oh and now we can gather in small crowds with people vaccinated and unvaccinated like fucking Russian roulette.


I just threw away 40 years of my fucking life over a vaccine

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