Category Archives: journal

Etsy shop launching soon! *Update*

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#Etsy shop opening soon!

I’ve been gathering & sourcing materials for over a year, the idea to start my own greeting shop happened right around the time I left the Army after 15 long years (my body, mind & spirit were done). As much as I would have liked to made it to retirement age, I almost did! Most can’t live on retirement alone (or compensation pay). So I did Lyft/Uber/Subway/liquor store to try & make ends meet and it still wasn’t enough!

Owning my own business has been a dream for a very long time. It’s been scary starting over but I had no choice. But now I’m doing something I really love! And having an Ebay shop this year taught me alot about customer relations. I’m grateful for its success because it has brought me one step closer to where I want to be with my greeting card business.

I’m excited to share my journey with each of you. Psychology and writing is something I’m passionate about. I earned my Bachelor of Science in psychology in 2010. I worked as a medic from 2001 thru July 2007. I like people. I like writing. I really dig making cards.

I’d like other people to know that if you struggle with loneliness or depression it doesn’t make you worthless or invaluable. Surround yourself with people who know your worth. Dive into something you are passionate about. Surround yourself in that. Happiness has to be carefully crafted too. Give your time only to those who value it. I don’t have much more time to waste, I’m not fucking about. I did that long enough with the wrong people who I thought were my allies. It’s not too late to go no contact, quit the job that’s killing you, & start again. My depression might kill me, God knows it has killed alot of my battles. But I KNOW MY WORTH.

My Jeep is getting repossessed soon if it doesn’t get paid off. My mom is dying of cancer. My relationship with my daughter is estrained. I sacrificed many years with the wrong dudes. I know what nothing feels like. I’ve spent 40 years bathing in it despite every effort to stay afloat. I’m drowning. But I’m not going down without a fight. It’s all I know & have been trained for. My value didn’t end when I left the Army even though my bank account did. The struggle is wide!

Sending out an SOS

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For real, y’all. I need help.

I am a good person who has fallen on bad times. I went from making $60k a year to $10k a year. I was homeless last year from JAN-APR & I’m at risk of losing my Jeep this year. Please, can someone help me? Since becoming disabled, the struggle to survive is real. I’m not married & I do not have a partner to help split living cost. I’m desperate. Any amount would help. Even a share of my campaign. I chose PayPal because 100% of your donation would go to me unlike other campaigning sites such as GoFundMe who keep a percentage. Sending out an SOS. (And big love to those who have already helped).

Chip in here: https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/85fHMkkwlj

Thank you!

With humble gratitude,

Delia / PoeEternal

P.S. My birthday is tomorrow. 😊

Wounded Warrior, Help

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Is there anyone out there who can help a disabled veteran or fellow human being?

Hello Family, Strangers, Friends,

The transition from military to civilian life has been extremely difficult on me, especially with the government hiring freezes and state of our economy. I served my country honorably for 15 years but my body became broken and disabled. I am reaching out and asking for help because I have hit rock bottom and it seems I am falling deeper in. I am alone and scared. Over the past year I have been selling off my heirlooms and valuables to make ends meet, and I have run out of things to sell. I can no longer afford my jeep payments and will lose it soon. My only other option would be to sell it, which would be a negative transaction, and the $16,659.93 I have already paid off on my jeep would vanish. I would be left without my only mode of transport. I worked really hard in my life to have the things that I do have. I have been hit hard with PTSD, depression, anxiety, chronic pain and insomnia. I don’t know what else to do, aside from ask for help from you. I have no one to lean on. I still owe $9000 on my jeep; my payments are $367.12 monthly which I can no longer afford. I cannot trade as my credit is now ruined from the transition. My savings is drained. My retirement funds are drained. And I am drained. If there is anyone out there at all who is willing to help me get my jeep paid off, I would be deeply and eternally grateful. I would like to focus on my healing as I gave every inch of me I could while serving my country honorably. I have no more left to give. I have always been strong and independent so asking for help is really hard for me. But I feel like losing my jeep would be worse. So, I am calling on you angels in the world, if you could in any way, please help. Share this, donate, pray. Any and all help is appreciated. In the rare instance that I may reach my goal, I will find every way possible to pay-it-forward in the world. God bless.

(You do need a PayPal account in order to donate & your donation can be made anonymously). Sign-up is fast and easy!

Direct link to chip in: https://paypal.me/pools/campaign/109443703802049673

This is raw. One year amongst the remains.

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I realize now that it has been a year nearly to the day when I went no contact from you. My heart is still broken. But it’s been breaking since the very first time you hurt me. And each time after. And you know the things you did. I’m still trying to process and heal from all the emotional & mental damage you caused.

I still have all these virtual things of our times together, too. I don’t know what to do with them. And I don’t look at them. I don’t listen. But they haunt me. You haunt me. I can’t even look at that girl. I don’t know who she was. I was lost and in hell. You made my life hell and on purpose. See, that’s the part that really gets me. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you are a sociopath. Others are coming to see.

You nearly destroyed me in those 4 years.

I guess when you think you love a devil, the devil will change. Empaths want to change the world, nurture it, give it love. Tame it. Free it. Love it.

Instead, we find ourselves breaking & changing & becoming lost. No voice, no place of refuge, no safety in our minds.

What an interesting specimen you are though, once I can dissect it all. You are the bottom feeder of hell.

I really don’t think Lu wants you there.

Whatever you are, it’s connected me to who I am. You are a special kind of sick. You gave me Pandora’s Box, I peered inside, I’ve seen the abyss and I know how evil abides. YOU’RE FUCKED.

One day, the evidence surfaces.

And doctors can study your behavior.

I encourage more of your enemies to reach out to me (as they already have). Their privacy will always be respected, but not yours.

Their support has been so appreciated.

Damn, 1 year. One fucking year free from you. From the physical you. But the rest of me is still getting on.

Again, thank you for reminding me that evil exist. I see the world differently now. I remember the pure. I am pure. A true Goddess. I had forgotten her. ♡

#survivingabuse #IwillNotBeSilent #nocontact #1yearfree

There must have been a thousand girls…There now must be a thousand ghouls…