Category: journal

Things of Note by PoeEternal

~ PoeEternal (Delia) ~ 5 Comments

Bits of pieces here & there. Thoughts. Ideas. Microwords.

I feel like watching you smile is one of the most beautiful things I can witness in life.

If you can’t have it, dream about it. Fantasize. Talk to yourself. Loneliness is a state, not a being. Be one with it.

Love. Even when you can’t.

Forgiveness isn’t hard. Ego is.

You’re one second away from being older. Cherish the new.

The walls we build around us to keep the sadness out also keeps out the joy.

I swear on my soul every time you smile a new galaxy is born. I can feel the after shocks in my heart. Even the Sun has sworn. Look how it shines on you.

You wear revenge on your heart.

Black soul, Black hole
Not much of a difference I know
Like a mold it will grow

It’s not too late to finish what you started.

Feasting on single lane, leaving darkness for tomorrow
Getting wasted on joy instead, I’m sick of all this sorrow
Skipping down single lane, I’ve nothing you can borrow

LOVE IS THE GREATEST CROWN, There’s no trouble here this part of town

He’s my favorite season of them all.

Everyone keeps asking me what it is I do. Well, I’m in the pursuit for happiness. Aren’t you?

Oh my tummy tum tum
Is growling like it wants some rum
I guess I better give it some….

You give what you take and you take what you give
I’m so tired of this mourning and I just want to live

Taking a break from my woes.

Did you know you could break me like glass?

Empty as a bottle.

Sometimes I need someone to disconnect with.

So evading these lines
I’ve tried to forget a thousand times
Feeling better about end days
And even less about rhyme

His voice puts movement in my heart.

But this one cut me deep like steel
I don’t know if I can ever heal

It hurts
These years they tend to cut
More challenges than it’s worth

It’s like a gunshot to the soul
CRUSH

Boys & misfortune are of most importance

Make me immortal so I can sleep forever.

My moral compass may be broken.

More cancelled invitations
I get the most in the nation

Shots of rum in my freezer
Make me less of an appeaser

I’m working on borrowed time.

I’m ready, not able
I’m under the weather and need to get stable

On and on silence is your war

He uses love like a seed
To pit in you jealousy & greed

To fight so hard for freedom
Years for liberty
Can anyone see me?

Lu once told me, all I had to do was prey.

Said you never loved
and you love me now
But you’re saying that
As you’re saying ciao

I left him lying
The trouble with love it’s trying
But don’t stick it out with a man who keeps you crying
His mouth is rot he’ll only keep denying
That’s his plan to slowly watch you dying
I never met a beast more terrifying

But why do good girls always come last?

My heart is a poet. Every beat is a syllable. Poetry its soul. I am but a poem waiting to be rhymed. Slow goes it.

You’ll soon be guest of honor at the crematorium.

Pain may appear closer in mirror.

Actually, I’m not angry. I’m fueled with intelligence and wit. I will smack thee with a mirror and say BEHOLD, SCUM. CLEAN THYSELF! 😉

© Delia Ross. 2019

Gratitude

~ PoeEternal (Delia)

I am so grateful for all the traffic that my website has been receiving. It is a great honor to be able to share my words with you and that you keep coming back to read more. As such, and as a thank you, I will be releasing my epic poem in three parts, which previously could only be found in my published book. It is some of my most complex writing to date, and if I were to have a favorite, this would be it. In celebration of over 6,000 visits on my blog, I am giving it to you. I always envisioned it to be turned into a play or short film (or both). So to the actors and visionaries out there, and lovers of all things poetry, perhaps too you should one day want the same (even if I’m no longer here). It is my legacy, my words. Edgar Allan Poe died unknown. And I’ve got visitors from all over the world, so thank you dear reader, from the very center of my soul, for your visits. Stay tuned, My Son Parts 1, 2 & 3 are coming, again as a thank you. And I very much hope you will fall prey to the story, as certainly I did writing it.

Sending out an SOS

~ PoeEternal (Delia)

For real, y’all. I need help.

I am a good person who has fallen on bad times. I went from making $60k a year to $10k a year. I was homeless last year from JAN-APR & I’m at risk of losing my Jeep this year. Please, can someone help me? Since becoming disabled, the struggle to survive is real. I’m not married & I do not have a partner to help split living cost. I’m desperate. Any amount would help. Even a share of my campaign. I chose PayPal because 100% of your donation would go to me unlike other campaigning sites such as GoFundMe who keep a percentage. Sending out an SOS. (And big love to those who have already helped).

Chip in here: https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/85fHMkkwlj

Thank you!

With humble gratitude,

Delia / PoeEternal

P.S. My birthday is tomorrow. 😊

Wounded Warrior, Help

~ PoeEternal (Delia) ~ Leave a comment

Is there anyone out there who can help a disabled veteran or fellow human being?

Hello Family, Strangers, Friends,

The transition from military to civilian life has been extremely difficult on me, especially with the government hiring freezes and state of our economy. I served my country honorably for 15 years but my body became broken and disabled. I am reaching out and asking for help because I have hit rock bottom and it seems I am falling deeper in. I am alone and scared. Over the past year I have been selling off my heirlooms and valuables to make ends meet, and I have run out of things to sell. I can no longer afford my jeep payments and will lose it soon. My only other option would be to sell it, which would be a negative transaction, and the $16,659.93 I have already paid off on my jeep would vanish. I would be left without my only mode of transport. I worked really hard in my life to have the things that I do have. I have been hit hard with PTSD, depression, anxiety, chronic pain and insomnia. I don’t know what else to do, aside from ask for help from you. I have no one to lean on. I still owe $9000 on my jeep; my payments are $367.12 monthly which I can no longer afford. I cannot trade as my credit is now ruined from the transition. My savings is drained. My retirement funds are drained. And I am drained. If there is anyone out there at all who is willing to help me get my jeep paid off, I would be deeply and eternally grateful. I would like to focus on my healing as I gave every inch of me I could while serving my country honorably. I have no more left to give. I have always been strong and independent so asking for help is really hard for me. But I feel like losing my jeep would be worse. So, I am calling on you angels in the world, if you could in any way, please help. Share this, donate, pray. Any and all help is appreciated. In the rare instance that I may reach my goal, I will find every way possible to pay-it-forward in the world. God bless.

(You do need a PayPal account in order to donate & your donation can be made anonymously). Sign-up is fast and easy!

Direct link to chip in: https://paypal.me/pools/campaign/109443703802049673

This is raw. One year amongst the remains.

~ PoeEternal (Delia) ~ 8 Comments

I realize now that it has been a year nearly to the day when I went no contact from you. My heart is still broken. But it’s been breaking since the very first time you hurt me. And each time after. And you know the things you did. I’m still trying to process and heal from all the emotional & mental damage you caused.

I still have all these virtual things of our times together, too. I don’t know what to do with them. And I don’t look at them. I don’t listen. But they haunt me. You haunt me. I can’t even look at that girl. I don’t know who she was. I was lost and in hell. You made my life hell and on purpose. See, that’s the part that really gets me. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you are a sociopath. Others are coming to see.

You nearly destroyed me in those 4 years.

I guess when you think you love a devil, the devil will change. Empaths want to change the world, nurture it, give it love. Tame it. Free it. Love it.

Instead, we find ourselves breaking & changing & becoming lost. No voice, no place of refuge, no safety in our minds.

What an interesting specimen you are though, once I can dissect it all. You are the bottom feeder of hell.

I really don’t think Lu wants you there.

Whatever you are, it’s connected me to who I am. You are a special kind of sick. You gave me Pandora’s Box, I peered inside, I’ve seen the abyss and I know how evil abides. YOU’RE FUCKED.

One day, the evidence surfaces.

And doctors can study your behavior.

I encourage more of your enemies to reach out to me (as they already have). Their privacy will always be respected, but not yours.

Their support has been so appreciated.

Damn, 1 year. One fucking year free from you. From the physical you. But the rest of me is still getting on.

Again, thank you for reminding me that evil exist. I see the world differently now. I remember the pure. I am pure. A true Goddess. I had forgotten her. ♡

#survivingabuse #IwillNotBeSilent #nocontact #1yearfree

There must have been a thousand girls…There now must be a thousand ghouls…