Category: journal

Dear Boomers

May 24th, 2023

Do you know where your children are?

The commercial aired to our Boomer parents cuz they should all ~~be crucified~~ burn in hell

By the way, Mother & Father, do you know where I am?

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Dear Noah and all

May 22nd, 2023

Bye

I’m done communicating with other bloggers

I tried

I enjoy stuff y’all write

But anytime I open my mouth and leave a comment

Everyone else will get a “really appreciate your comment” and mine DO NOT

Sometimes additional comments aren’t allowed

For instance

I responded “mirrors cause a negative self image”

I found this extremely fascinating to learn

They did not

I’m done trying to be social

No one understands me

But the two monsters who do but only leave me breadcrumbs

I’m literally trembling writing this

I wasn’t being rude

I enjoyed his poem

But noooooo

I’m not allowed to respond with the way it moves me or gets me thinking about the topic

My problem is I “add to”

THAT but also…

I’m done socializing on other peoples blog

It only makes me cry

The additional comment he wouldn’t allow through and deleted

I explained how they hold negative energies and should not be placed near a bed

(I’m kinda a good witch and into energies – Tesla and Einstein was into manipulating energy too, hear hear)

Tesla said once you master it…

Who said, “know thyself”

Plato? The one with an A?

Anyhoo

I guess my comments weren’t appreciated or even wanted

Should have just commented, “yeah man mirrors suck”

But it probably wouldn’t get a like either

Or even go through

And because I’m a child

I unliked every post and unfollowed

Was not able to block or delete my ONE comment

I will never comment again

Or read your beautiful lines

Many do not know I am extremely autistic and sensitive

I’m basically an oracle

Wanna talk mirrors? No? Fuck you

P.S. I hate losing followers because I’m not allowed to express myself to others on their beautiful writings because they don’t fully understand my meaning and then I respond like a 2 year old and ghost them

I hate my parents

It’s all their fault

I’m crying so hard because I can’t just “fit in”

Maybe there is a slight chance the algorithm blocked my comment

But that isn’t what my heart is telling me

It’s kinda embarrassing?

I really liked his poem

It’s why I commented about things I recently learned about mirrors

I put sheets over mine when I learned (not something I commented) and then moved them out of my room lol

I’ve been dealing with “mirrors” in different ways but apparently not allowed to be a knowledgeable weirdo

I wanna be able to hold onto what bloggers I have

So I won’t be able to communicate with you on your own writings because it will offend you?

The fact that mirrors hold negative energy

Guess he don’t wanna know or have my knowledge on his page

My free speech once again limited

I wasn’t cussing

Or being rude

Or disagreegable?

I miss real artist

The ones who show you something they did and ask “what do you see”

They were always amazed by what I would find

And when I asked them the meaning?

They’d say, “there is no right or wrong answer. And while this is what it meant to me, your view is my favorite”

The 90s don’t exist anymore tho

I’m I’m still stuck in it

Mad and sad at myself for trying to be normal when I’m not

Mad at myself for caring

Mad at myself for trying

Mad at myself for giving a fuck

Crying cuz gonna lose another reader because I’m a child

Fuck you all

I wasn’t doing anything wrong and the fact that Noah – you are making me cry.

So it’s bye

I deserve better quite frankly

It would hurt anyone’s feelings to read the author commenting “appreciate your comment” to everyone but your own?

Insulting

Bye!

I’ll be dead soon and unable to leave comments and some of y’all are going to deeply regret how you treated me when I came to your yard – without animosity

Thank you for not appreciating my comment

Because this has happened more than once with other bloggers

Unfair treatment

I don’t want to comment on your blogs

I guess I should just close my blog altogether and just quit and let the 3 year plan expire

I’m done with everything!

Sick of crying because of you!!!!

I told someone who commented “God isn’t real” to stop gaslighting and I got penalized for it on TikTok for him responding “fuck you”

Easy to spot a nihilist now

“God isn’t real” is shit they say…

Or, “I believe in black holes”

Science is nihilism

NASA is cartoon CGI artist interpretation

We had computer’s 6000 years ago

Maybe not mini size but they realized they could reset

6th mass extinction / reset

The Matrix was a documentary

Love is the great anomaly

God is real

The earth is alive

Prayer works

Gotta put in the work

Anyhoo

I’m not allowed free speech or my own view of your writings and your art

You will comment to every other blogger but me “really appreciate your comment”

And bro, it was my first time even trying to comment

I’m not gonna start crying again

But probably will

You don’t deserve me and feel free to delete my original comment and I’ll disappear forever as if I was never here

Ghosted my father age 10 in front of him

“You can make me sit down but I’m not eating or looking at him or talking”

And skipped a Happy Meal at age 10 – to teach my father a lesson I still don’t understand

And now I’m crying harder

I haven’t seen my father since I was 10

I gotta go

Y’all are a terrible insensitive species and I gotta protect my energy

Fuck everything

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Over 4500 followers on the TikTok

May 21st, 2023

The TikTok

I’m just some gal from the deep south

Oh wait

Deep South should be capitalized but not earth

Why is earth not a noun

Whatev

The follows are still coming in today

Also reached over 37.5k “likes”

I don’t use fancy setups or lighting or filters

But will probably start posting rebounding and skate content for summer!

Along with complaining

It’s what I do best

But folks are trying to take me down in tricky ways

And I’m still recovering from CUD

And this cancer

2 days zero weed or vape or edibles

Not caving

Gotta clean the lungs

No more smoking

No more drinking

No more disassociating

Tough days

Not even allowed sugar or bread but haven’t fixed my diet completely

Cuz I need to hire a maid to deep clean my kitchen

I don’t know what’s holding me back from doing it

Maybe because I’m dying and have so little energy

But hopefully can show off my cute outfits from Dolls Kill soon

Embarrassing the mess currently

Took an assbeating on TikTok because of it but some have commented I’m adorable

The drafts will probably get deleted

I will post more cute booty content when I recover mentally from all the weight I lost

Itty bitty again

I want to be God’s favorite

But squirrel is so cute

And red bird

Woody has been quiet

So glad I captured him pecking when I did

I’m kinda homebound because every time I go out a cop gets involved

I think the last one wanted to prepose? To me

Proposal propose

The fucking algo makes it harderwith a brain injury but I hit space

Fuck you

Stumbling with speech more cuz brain rewiring itself with zombie weed

Know what I want to say, can’t get it out

A band is getting ready to play from a big race thing

I can hear it miles away

NIN was supposed to come

Now it’s Tool and Pantera and some others coming

Heard on the radio

I was like “too bad I ain’t supporting shit anymore”

Maynard’s a fucking dick

The cop told me to move

It’s unsafe to venture out

And I’m pro 2a and won’t think twice to shoot your shadow

Ohh poem thingy please

Also, if I reach 10k in this lifetime, I’m one goal away from turning on video gifts

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Accidentally

May 21st, 2023

If you accidentally follow me

I will accidentally block you

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Scrolling through the tiktok

May 21st, 2023

This motherfucker stated he was “bi-sexual”

BLOCKED

Get outta my feed

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Passion of the Christ

May 21st, 2023

Y’all remember Jim Caviezel?

He wants to know where the pope is?

He wants to know if you would lose your head for Christ?

He states, we have to go after the octopus head – not just the tentacles

He also played a role in “the stoning of” (sara?)

Basically a husband was cheating and got his wife murdered by burying her alive – up to her neck – and having her children throw the first stones at her head

This practice is still legal

He didn’t want to pay child support or something

Accused her of a death penalty – something he was doing

Anyhoo

I can still like him as an actor and person

I mean he played Christ

Kinda hard to probably take off that role

Jesus imprinted in him and me

But read the good book full of propaganda and lies?

Uhm no

It’s Satanic

I collect Bibles tho

Some falling apart

Some extremely tiny with a lock

You ever try selling a Bible during end times?

I can’t seem to part with them?

Via donation, sale, or trash

Or is is sell?

I’m selling something

I have a sale

Hmmm it’s nearly 4 am

I’m glad it wasn’t just a role for Jim

“Fighting with all their hearts but don’t have a voice”

He’s talking about me

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRESeVYn/?t=1

“Would you lose your head for Christ”

What does he mean?

Like not deny him?

He states he thinks about John all the time

“What would John do”

Yeah same – different John’s tho – same but not

He did not die in vain

If anything, he’s my compass down here in this hell

We both think about John all the time (same but not)

John the Baptist was always a favorite from the B

Jim might be part of the 244

Somewhere in the 244 is Christ

God is love

You mean get crucified? Fairly certain society shames me for being a light-bringing angel

They want the world covered in darkness – nihilism

6th mass extinction

Narcissism is a plague

Society is a scam

I hope I get well enough to marry a good man

Man has failed me

Searching black holes is nihilism

Segregation from God

Gonna expose you all

Deliver the head of Satan

Toss it at God’s feet

“I’m home”!

Literally got chills

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WTF is growing

May 18th, 2023

WTF is that growing in my pot?

New unidentified bloom on left

Is that a sunflower?

A fungas?

Some other unknown species?

A single unidentified bloom

I did decide to “repurpose” the soil and mix it up and start feeding it to the plants that were surviving

It was risky I know

But the earthquake shook something

That wasn’t there yesterday

In fact, I left the window open yesterday during the rainstorm briefly – and they all had their first rain bath!!!!!

It was pretty exiting

Now they’ve had a rain bath (first) and drink daily spring water (my own supply)

It could be a mystery seed finding its way to the surface?

I should move him into his own pot?

Why does it scare me?

The green stuff growing was potentially edible – but now – I dunno if this pot still is?

More unidentified stuff in my pots

That’s probably the fear – I thought this would be a fun experiment by the library

I’m slightly shaking

Maybe because my last day of weed – but I was fine until I saw that… unidentified plant and a single bloom (and not green)

But if it turns out to be one of the mystery plants I killed, then yah!!! ?

The forget me nots are getting big!

Should they be repot?

And these potential edible thangs?

Check out the glass of roots

Healthy roots?

Healthy roots or not? Wish my soul would rot? Is this your thought?

I have a stone from Colorado that I collected – in this glass jar – and the plant really enjoyed having the rock and the clear glass to grow – but I admit – it’s more of a challenge

Even the roots scare me

I dunno what’s wrong with me?

I fear the unknown. I also jump into puddles not knowing how deep? Had no idea one should not..

We drank from the hose because we were locked out of the house

I’d get in trouble if I told you what I wanted to do to the Boomer folks

So poems incoming soon…

But wtf is growing?

And just for reference – this is this mystery sheet

Nothing is in the big pots yet – was wondering if I could relocate the glass herbs – they are the only ones I never moved – added the rock from Colorado – and then the roots took hold. Now I’m afraid to plant them in a dark pot with soil – and shock them.

I also don’t want them to get root rot and die

But for now – they did experience a wonderful full moon recently – and last night a rain shower.

Would love to put tags on my plants: “Hi. I’m 3 years old”

“Hi. I’m 15 years old”

That way, upon my untimely passing, they don’t wind up at the dump

They are loved, even tho I fear whatever the fuck they are?

Is that a sunflower? Should he get his own space?

I’m afraid to touch it?

Or breathe around it?

Is it safe?

It grew overnight?

A night bloom?

*sigh*

My thumb isn’t green – it’s mysterious

He’s never had a homemade biscuit. I don’t know what a sunflower looks like growing.

Or basil? Chamomile?

I ate chives growing unwashed in the yard

My mom: “why are you eating that”

Me: “it smells like onion, can I not eat it”

Mom: “yes but you need to bring it in and wash it”

Also me: *drank syrup from some sort of flower*

Anyhoo

Growing thangs

Don’t know what

Could be poisonous?

Wanna come over for dinner?

P.S. when I do upgrade my phone, if TikTok isn’t banned, I will show you my cute new outfits. I’m thin as fuck tho. Like “Thinner”. Keep eating. Won’t gain a pound.

Last day of sungrown legal weed.

QUITTING

And been off the super potent vape pen for 2 or 3 weeks now

Lungs about to be freeeeee

It is fucking harddddddd boi

Takes minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD

4/19 was the last day I had access to the medicinal shop

The whole fentanyl laced drugs is a real issue where I live

Not just the city, but my backyard

Someone got busted with $39k in their car

Along with laced drugs

It was all over the cops official social media accounts

I do not use or consume illegal drugs

I’m quitting state issued as well…

Sleeping in the lion’s den with whatever is growing

And honestly, it ain’t gonna keep the lion’s satisfied

I’m living on prayer

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Cash App founder Bob Lee attended underground sex, drug parties with sister of his alleged killer

May 16th, 2023

Cash App founder Bob Lee attended underground sex, drug parties with sister of his alleged killer
— Read on nypost.com/2023/05/14/cash-app-founder-bob-lee-attended-underground-sex-drug-parties-with-sister-of-his-alleged-killer/amp/

And the plot thickens

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I’m so unstable lol

May 14th, 2023

I am blocking folks on tiktok for all kinda of reasons

I only use my main account – so views will stay low – I keep the algo confused, “gotta keep em guessing” – I stay on the go

Anyhoo

I told myself I’d stop scrolling

Only use it to post

*boring*

And many of my good videos don’t make it through – cuz folks block me and then report me for harassment – for lip syncing a Nirvana song “I think I’m dumb” cuz he commented my IQ could improve

I got in trouble for his insult

I was videotaping me lip syncing in my apartment – and he didn’t want y’all to see it

I still think I won?

Fuck so off topic now

The blocking that I do is different

(But how does one get a post removed for lip syncing a fucking song?) (I didn’t even respond) (no text) lol

He all butt hurt

GOOD

Stop phishing for info

My TBI fractal brain is none ya bizz

I know everything and not anything all at once

*God mode off*

*Human mode on*

Nope, not even human yet

Fallen Angel

“Born this way”

Fight me

I haz wings

Under his bed

He stole em

He didn’t really steal them

He collected them from the rubble

Not thinking maybe someone would come

To get the thing broken

He took what was mine and didn’t consider it belonged to another thing

I fucking fell

My first instinct was to find cover

They were my wings but God dismantled them in the fall

Or I dunno, the blazing atmosphere I was searing through

They were left behind

I was probably in shock

It’s an actual medical condition

Not a mindset

“Survival mode”

And there is water in the desert eventually

Dessert twice please (before meal and after dinner like an hour or 3) (not immediately)

(I should not eat after nine but gremlin, need the meal at midnight)

(Even if I eat dinner at 9, I’m like wtf are you growling like we haven’t ate since 5 am)

I already have insomnia, it’s nearly impossible to get through a 5 hour span

So I’ll always be sneaking in the kitchen for a bite

If he loves me, he’ll surprise me with treats awaiting

(And then he gets woken up in different ways yah hear)

I ain’t getting near that thing if he goes putting it in other things

Men especially

Fuck you

Oh who and what things I iz blocking on the TikTok

Someone just had her daddy come help her move a couch

BLOCKED

It wasn’t even suggested content

Just a normal family acting normal

Fuck off

I dunno, random shit like that

I forget…

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The mystery plants saga

May 13th, 2023

The mystery plants are still a mystery

The tall glass is a forest of something edible

Except for the Forget-Me-Nots

The strawberries and Lavender did not take and the other mystery plants never bloomed

They got some new soil and spring water

Yesterday they got too much sun and wilted but I hooked them up and by morning were sprung again

Maybe they needed more soil and less sun – so that was the remedy

It’s some sort of edible growing but I don’t know what or when it is edible

I almost lost her a time or two but she’s rooting strong despite my errors

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Gotta get this off my chest

May 12th, 2023

Someone posted a tiktok of a 911 call – with a man dying and taking dying breaths

Another user commented it “turned him on”

Also Chicago was overrun by darkness

And the local cop here told me I need to move – “out of Daytona”, “all of Daytona is bad” “I hate to tell you to move” “I hate to lose someone level headed like you”

Well, I’m more reckless than anything – but absolutely still serve my country – I ain’t running away – I practice running a lot though – on my trampoline

Gotta make sure I can wind the Devil

They gonna try and shoot you from the back

Zig zag but with skates?

I don’t miss my shot tho

The Army trained me to hit moving targets 500m back

I’m efficient up to 350m but definitely passed all my skill sets

I ain’t gonna have a skill issue

I was only 4 rounds from expert first time on the 9mil

The hubby got a lot of work to do

“I gotta girl / you want to meet her? / her name is 9mm”

90s hip hop yo

Other men dying – turn men on

Uhm, men hearing babies cry, turns them on

Squirrel

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Another weird death

May 12th, 2023

This one shook me

He hung himself in a closet and wasn’t discovered for 8 months, the hoarding was so bad

I’ve never owned my own home but narcissism is a plague

Their house was so dirty, he wasn’t discovered for 8 months

He probably knew

I struggle with daily suicide ideation

Stay in the light

And clean up yo dirty house

He probably knew tho

“It’ll take them months to find me”…

“One day, she’ll open us this door and find me”

“Fuck you”

Bless his heart, don’t know his name or story or if this is even true (I did not verify)

Was reported missing – home searched twice by police – died via hanging himself in a closet – not discovered until he had mumified

Hey boo, did you know mummification was so easy too?

Apparently only 25% of women on TikTok are worthy of marriage material

I’m glad I get comments sometimes like “you won’t last on the market long”

Maybe not all are ageist

My man gotta think I’m hot in the garden dirty and 80

I wanna live to 100

He gotta help me get there

I got goals

Not dying in a closet undiscovered 8 months

Not getting gutted like Bob

Not letting an immigrant get near me

Sleeping in the lion’s den with mold

Helps

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The domain is live

May 11th, 2023

My domain is live again and I’m ad free for the next 3 year as I bit and got the 3 year plan!

I may go back to writing on a typewriter

Photography the old time consuming way

I did create an OF – but I’m living rogue with 95% of my belongings gone (I’m sleeping on the floor)

I don’t need your money but may keep my rated r bits behind a paywall

Anyhoo, the dot com is active again

www.poeeternal.com

How to look cute and shitty all in one

And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck

My bathwater smells like chlorine

My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut

Tiny babe “you ain’t got any either” 😐

I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right

And the Devil wanna take away my smile

But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small

(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)

MY LABS ARE FINE

Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose

I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder

Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained

So I stopped sharing

And am secretly ~~rooting for a ban~~ hoping for a revolution

My TV is sold

No more PS4

My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years

iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years

News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15

I’m not paying them prices

I don’t eat with my phone

Or shit

The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose

I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data

Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years

It is off

The Devil tried to murder me

I’m still here

I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person

There are two ways I could go

But you know me, always taking the off path

Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones

He ain’t resting in peace

“I want out”

Final wish

So these Boomers sealed him in

His wife worried he was sealed in alive

“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”

Oh yeah?

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Rags to Riches

May 6th, 2023

From riches to rags
From rags to riches
It must be such a drag
Doing nothing that he wishes

And I’m raising the red flags
Pulling monsters from the ditches
Reminding God of broken airbags
The Great Anomaly comes with glitches

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

I found the pot at the end of the rainbow

But I’m still dying

More cute clothes arriving

And organic cotton joggers n tees cuz t3 sarah mode

Gotta be comfys and calm and collect

Revenge is served coldly with a smile

I was double cursed

But Edgar (my daddy) already died naked on the street (been there, done that)

I know why Cleo died

I’ve traveled far through time

I’m not sinking with the Titanic again

I fear those waters for a reason

I know things to happen before they do

Major events

Little events

Been questioning authority from in womb / day 1

Depressed?

You’re not living how I God intended

The Great Judgment has arrived

Get right with me God

I want so many bird houses on my property that I forget where they are

Bring the pressure washer when you visit

I’m sure everything will need a clean

Bring pieeeeee (not poisoned)

(Anything bought is poison)

(Even the expensive vegan things)

(Bring all the ingredients for me to make a pie instead)

“I wanted to bring you a pie but they were all poisoned”

I know you’ve never had a real biscuit before

My memaw taught me to make them

Said, “the only way to a man’s heart is through his belly”

Or was it stomach?

You tiss it when u big enuff cuz you ain’t big enuff yet

She had 5 acres with a 3 bedroom trailer

I ain’t asking for much

She had 12 kids with her husband

I ain’t been married yet

The Boomers stole everything from me

And now BLM have the audacity to ask me why I move where there are black people?

Bitch for real?

I will fucking hang you on a tree

Without remorse

*stay humbled*

I’m only a messenger

ANGEL

When you want to feed pretty bird but also skin a head…

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The Mystery Plants

May 5th, 2023

They basked in the glory of the full moon last night

I have several pots doing nothing at all

And there’s a lot of guilt involved in mistake

And I did clean the windowsills but then spilt the strawberries (which maybe now they will sprout!?!)

These are the ones surviving thus far and needing re-potting

The Forget-Me-Nots – around 7 growing and a few have rot

The Lavender hasn’t sprouted but I didn’t use all the seed (did something right)

The other mystery plants may be dead?

It could take 3 weeks for it to surface

Do you know how much time I have to kill things between then?

I’m like “please grow”

I think I could do better with some land?

The cop recommended me to move today, said “all of Daytona is bad”, “hate to lose a level headed person like you”

Do you think he could be my future husband?

The BLM brought up my skin color and size, said, “you ain’t got one” but like I do!?!

It’s tiny sure. Take it up with God. I’m Angelic.

She was threatening to beat my ass

I said, “they want us living in fear”

She replied, “why would you move where there are black people”

Like OMG

“Why would I move where there are black people”?

That’s an entirely good question

Where can I move where there aren’t any?

But that’s so mean. I don’t actually not like black people lol

“Why would you move somewhere there are black people?”

*pretends I’m a ten like Ms USA*

*plays dumb*

I ain’t got any huh

Then why you watching it shake when I’m walking away

The men don’t mind my tininess

They use words like “fit”

So yeah The plants. The drama. The hellhound. The hellhole. The noise. Interruptions.

Need country

Lots of trees

Good neighbors

“Not born in a barn” type

Also me: *wants a sleep barn*

Also: thanks for 37,000 Likes on the TikTok

Well almost

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Dear God

May 2nd, 2023

*need land and a husband*

*please heal me*

2 month supply of detox arrived!

I am my own healthcare practitioner

victoriahealth.com

Found the stuff without the bad junk

No sugar junk

And this came in a glass bottle, the big ticket items

Fighting for my life

Tell God I don’t want to die

*Quarantined not scared*

*selfless service*

*Sacrifice*

It wasn’t worth jumping into the trench

Got my free speech stolen too

*wakey wakey*

111 pounds currently and have detoxed and rebound around 30-50 pounds of the Devil

The vaccine nearly wiped me out

Finally getting rays of my lungs this week – they wanna put me under – no no no

No no no no no no

*takes raw shot of ginger*

*sweats for 2 minutes*

*nearly dies*

X 8 days in a row of 30 days ginger raw shots

HOLY GAWD

*mouth burns*

*face blushes*

*goes through purification process to find husband*

Him: “what’s yer number count”

Me: *ghosts him*

I’m practically a nun and the reason you see a prostitute

You left me fucking behind

“No child left behind” came out after I was left behind

Uhm hello!!!!!!

*sobs*

So, I wanna write poems with different words that sound the same

I don’t recall the lesson here

Same words but different

I wanna start writing code into my poetry like EAP

I did it one time – I don’t regret it at all – though humiliated and crucified

I sweat out years of fast food

GROSS

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How is this legal

May 2nd, 2023

Blocking access to your account through the web browser – and re-directing you to the app to install

So – you can’t use a web browser anymore to access TikTok

Only an app – a spy app

There is NO LOGIN option

Only redirect to install the app (no fuck you)

I hope TikTok gets banned

Byeee millions of views

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OnlyFans pt 3

May 2nd, 2023

3rd times a charm?

I’m likely starting the process soon to create a page

I need a hideout

I haven’t moved yet so there isn’t anything fancy to look at

I don’t need your money

I just need to start over everywhere

Edgar died naked for a reason, he was suffocating

You ever seen that movie with what’s-his-face and he was Buried Alive

That’s what TikTok feels like

And me giving him all the wrong clues that he winds up at a different grave

I don’t wanna wind up so stuck he can’t reach me

I’ve examined many ways to die and John Jones still ranks as WORSE

I’m obsessed with ways people die

I’m seeing patterns too

There’s always a “second” involved

“He went back in for a swim”

“They went down for another dive”

“Decided for a harder section after completing an easy one”

“Two rides said no”

“He stayed for a second day”

“He changed his plans”

“They went back in”

Poor Jacob and the Whirlpool, he went back in, back down again, a wee bit further

But the drain was draining and getting stronger (like a bathroom tub draining)

I counted several warnings by Mr. Death himself

I get called ominous for delivering love poems via internets while dying – (it happened one time chill) (humiliation favorite overkill)

But Jacob wasn’t ominous for swimming in a black hole?

His friend edged him on

“I don’t know what else I can do aside from die”

*shrugs*

*hops back in*

*goes deeper*

They found him at the other end of the drain

Oh… and then that guy that went down the deepest part of the ocean, the Trench

Not even fully qualified

I had no idea that the ocean could “push you down” at “incredible speeds”

I wouldn’t have stopped falling, I would have just kept going huh…

Newsflash: we can’t leave earth

We’re grounded to earth

Charged

The sun is electrical

Positive / negative charge

We’re static electricity buzzing

Hair standing on head (it needs the blm lube for “all hair types” that the blm hog in the blm section)

My page will probably be free or ridiculously cheap membership to keep away the kidnappers

I mean, I wanna post some nudes

I’m still working out while dying and 111 pounds despite everything

And now I wanna quit all meat but chicken

I like eggs and sometimes I wanna eat a chicken

I know, but the heart likes beef and chicken a lot

For ethical and moral reasons try to leave most creatures alone

Someone harassed me and I got penalized for it

Makes absolute total sense

“Money won’t buy happiness” it’s true but I’ll be a whole less stressed out in the country where no one can find me

“Do not enter property without secret code or homemade pie”

Him: “I’ve never eaten a homemade biscuit before”

Memaw: “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly”

Me: “you need a proper biscuit with real maple syrup”

I myself haven’t had one since the 1800s but once I get moved from this dumpster

And I got another rent increase incoming

The appliances are also from the 1700s and my electric company knows my shit ain’t updated and I’m being penalized

“This is a man’s world”

Well I don’t want any part in it

Can you come help til the garden tho?

I gotta get a fence up

Coms

Some sort of place to shit

I need land and a realtor I can trust!

I’m injured!

“I think I’m dumb” but not dumb enough to get married to the banks

Can’t have more than 9k on you or the cops will seize it even with proof it’s yours

The government will come steal your gold too

They didn’t cash their silver coin bonds “backed by the good faith of the Chinese government”

“Made in China”

Who owns the majority of bonds

But we needn’t worry

Every new label, every new change, Big China buying America

I got to go

Too far down the rabbit hole

Weed gone

(Half jar remaining and low thc compared to vape pens)

(Been out for days)

(Haven’t renewed card)

(Panicky)

Need some TLC on OF after the TikTok beating

I’d like to post workout videos and peach shots and nudes

Sue me

(Give me the dopamine boost as God intended, thank you)

(Otherwise, you know the fate of Poe?)

(And the ominous is in the blood)

(I might be Cleopatra)

I might be all things

All or none

I was nestled with God in the Great Void

“This is where you find some quiet, huh”

Gonna be fighting for my life until the end (it was stolen)

(Cry so much)

I’m facing future days of not bleeding between my legs and it feels like the end of everything I ever dreamed of

The women who got rid of their ability to have children and “love it” – nihilists

But you don’t look at me the way Squirrel does

I don’t know anything about life at all

Man has failed his part with me (thus far)

It’s like I’m being punished for his sins

But God has answered many prayers in one sweep

I need to find my way

To 1-5 acres

Once I have land, I’ll worry about other thangs

Land = ark

And I have seeds to plant!

I want trees growing until 1000 years of age!

Get off my land!

Unless you got pie?

Or a nut tree to plant

Fruit?

You brought me a chicken! Not to eat! *heart eyes*

Coyote gets fed chicken eggs too! He ain’t getting shot!

Give him a dog house far off!

Figure it out!

I need a pond!

Byeee

If I get enough followers – I can go live so will probably do the free thing and just ppv certain booty post ridiculously cheap?

But livestream workouts and walkabouts

Park adventures

Maybe land buying

“I’m dumb and boring”

But guys are hollering for my attention at my apt complex now that I’m dressing cute and less bum

He wanted me to know Squirrel crawled on him

Ok fool

But do you feed his entire family pistachios and sunflower seeds and cashews and all the top seeds and nuts

Are you gonna build squirrel a paradise?

They swing from the trees like monkeys!!!

Got another neighbor from NZ who don’t have squirrels at all

New Z doesn’t have squirrels I’m told

I’m like “none at all!?!”

No flying squirrels huh

Not moving there…

*crosses New Zealand off the potential move list*

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Montana? Utah? Nothing grows in Maine?

I don’t have an address in hell or online anymore

*purgatory

I scored this and I hope it fits. I’ve started ordering xs since small is big on me. Tiny petite thang

It’s 100% cotton too!!! I ordered a small!

They still are running a flash sale entire store!

My phone is broken and outdated

I may go back to regular photography

With a real camera

I hate WP

I miss OF

The short set: https://www.dollskill.com/products/tea-and-secrets-shorts-set

Tea & Secrets

I want that to be in my page name lol

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Pro the TikTok ban despite millions of views

May 2nd, 2023

Someone insulted me

“Your reading comprehension could improve”

So I posted a lip sync video of “Dumb” by Nirvana and I was penalized for “harassment”

I uninstalled the spy app so am disappearing again for six months

I’m pro banning that app and Instagram and FaceBook and let the banks all crash

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Bonds

May 1st, 2023

Bonds come in many forms

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TikTok heat + Boomer logic

April 30th, 2023

The TikTok is still heating up and Boomers don’t like being called Boomers but they make up most of the HOUSE of CONGRESS

Therefore, I will not comply about referring to them as “politicians”.

One replied that they were enjoying their retirement and I told them congratulations, enjoy. All the Boomers will be gone by the 60s.

He probably never looked at it like that (forest for trees) and the comment remains unliked

They say any traffic is good traffic but I did block someone commenting multiple times

I’m very open, exposed, and raw delivering such heavy content such as “I lost half my retirement but it wasn’t because I was stupid, all Gen X did – so I feel slightly worse.”

I’m backing it up with real evidence tho (just not personal statements tho some comments phish for it)

Boomers won’t admit to any wrong doing, ever (prove me wrong).

Gen Y & Z should back X up in the fight to remove the Boomers from HOUSE

My TikTok is #poeeternal or PoeEternal

Thanks for your feedback here and there!

I love having a place to direct my rage: the Boomers

Cause-and-effect

Have fun love 🙂

I’m the Great Anomaly

WOKE

“Take a pill” – NO

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TikTok heat

April 29th, 2023

Dropping complaints and codes on my TikTok and it’s getting some traffic

I’m not an ambassador and I don’t earn a dime

I normally get penalized

Basically calling out the Boomers

Moaning about the retirement age vs the life expectancy age

Cute clothes from a favorite store arrived

Once I get my hair/nails/facial, maybe I’ll try the clothes on

For now, you get to see how utterly stressed I look

I ordered more cute cotton clothing

I kinda can’t keep up with the 12 comments coming in

(I didn’t actually count)

AND

Not everyone is biting my head off

Some are just learning of the Secure 2.0 Act – new retirement age of 75

Through my TikTok

Just got called a whacko! 🙂

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Maths

April 29th, 2023

The probability that scientists have unleashed adaptations is 1000%

Current adaptation: reducing the honeybees lifespan 50% so they would “be more productive”

Make more honey faster but don’t enjoy the time God gave us on earth

Also, they raised the retirement age to 75 in America, “respectively” and no one cares (but me)

Science is nihilism

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10 things I hate about you

April 24th, 2023

You live on a flat plane on a flat disc
You act like you are worthless
You live without questioning risk
You won’t give me an inch

You run with a circus
Like hell you will surface
Bringing light to purpose
Curled up like a serpent

For this I’m certain
Or simply hoarding
What you’re averting
I know you’re lurking!

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

“The VA have made a decision on my behalf.”

Makeover part 2 coming soon

Should I get it tattooed on me? Lucky 13?

I need a baptism in a hot spring first (one I don’t accidentally boil in)

I swear once I wash my face, I will look fresher.

Florida has brain eating amoebas and kids and adults are getting wiped out, playing in the splash parks and doing sinus washes and reports from politicians in the press say drinking tap water is just fine, just don’t “wash your face with tap water” “in the shower or the sink” and I thought the splash parks and baths was my last safe haven (the devil be finding me everywhere)

(That’s why Jesus was always with him)

(Restraining orders don’t work)

(He’s obsessed with me)

And I have Savior complex potentially (see poem)

Demons will gaslight you and say “God isn’t real” cuz they are expert faith destroyers

But God made me an explorer…

“Only 13%”

Well, I do always seem to wiggle myself in the tightest places and I’m afraid of tiny dark holes

Riddle me this

I was pushed off a 50 foot bridge at 15 during sunset weighing some 110 pounds – at one point during the fall I forgot what was happening – I sank deep and fast – how far?

How far down was the initial plunge? Cuz I was dropping fast and thought “wonder how long I’ll keep falling” “maybe better go up for air” and started to kick my legs (I felt a shift) and was watching the tiny bit of light thinking “it’s so far” “I’m not going to make it”

And there was no preparing to take a breath before I was pushed

There was no “breathing” during the fall

Must have fell 10 or 15 seconds? What about in water? Another fucking 5 or 10?

Of falling – not ascend

That took another X amount of time to surface

So I dunno how I survived

I swam the Tennessee/ Mississippi more than once?

Without a float?

“I think I can make it”

I swam in a quarry!?!?

I don’t know if I’m alive?

In 2018, I was inside a lightning storm strike – 80 miles an hour – all windows down – arm out – a band of heat light touched me

How am I alive and the car!?!?

I looked in all my mirrors – the entire Jeep lit up all over

It was thousands of arms of lightning

Was it 2018?

What am I?

Why is everything electrical?

The sun is not 93 million miles away and I knew this at age 5

“It’s right there”

“How do we know”

“You shone a light on a wall”

“Why did we change time”

“Who is in charge of what is being taught at school”

“You can’t make me believe that”

“Well then give me a C”

“I will see myself to the Principal office”

*argues with the professors about globalism and inflation*

*barely passes math with a tutor*

*cries*

In hindsight, I know things before they happen

My first and only time at a dog race, I predicted which dog would win, but no one would place a bet on him, or let me, and I didn’t want to be there

Afterwords they wanted my opinion but I wasn’t interested in tapping into my psyche

I knew the space shuttle was going to blow right before it blew

“They’re going after Soldiers who want 100 in ptsd”

Me: “oh yeah”

“I’d like to see them try”

*panics for several months*

*yells at self for crawling into hole*

“We were fine living in the slums”

“It’s better than being homeless”

“We were gutted”

“What the fuck did we do to get here”

*gifts can come with curses*

*gets rid of 95% of everything I own*

And you can keep the jewelry, it’s fake

It really wasn’t the thought that mattered anymore

If the thought mattered, it would be in alignment with my values

*yells at some stranger on the road acting like God* I’m drifting buddy!?!?

*sobs*

Because it’s all I ever do is cry (like in the movie – God literally tells him I’ll be depressed if he ghosts me)

So I’m crying in the streets broad-day and some dude with a sign is telling me “I’m gonna die of a good time down here”

But I don’t know how to grow a plant or be in the same room as a person

And they did not lock me up (thank God)

(Can I file for state and double dip? Yes I can)

(Can I still work and make $$$$) (probably but I’ve not called and confirmed)

(Do I want to be on zoom calls or looking at a monitor all day or talking to people or solving problems or doing maths)

Fuck you

I have thought about other jobs like selling popcorn but everyone be coughing

Me: “why the fuck did you cough in my direction bro”

“Them fighting sounds”

“Why you standing so effin close to me”

Like bros be filming my ass while I’m grocery shopping or getting my ride fixed

I’m gonna kick someone’s fucking phone accidentally ~~and get gutted like Bob~~

I’m not getting gutted like Bob

I’m going weapon shopping

Trinity mode

I’m hearing all of France is protesting BR

I want to sleep on a bed of weapons

Safety first

Did you know I’m good at using weapons and thangs?

I got the good Army training!!!!

Circa 2001 🙂

I actually married my country on valentines day 🙂

I swore to defend this country on my heart and honor 🙂

I stupidly gave them my dna 🙂

They took hair, signatures, blood

What are they doing to me?

Why do I feel two places at once?

Why do I know things?

Why do I have to get your permission about how I interpret your art?

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Fate

April 24th, 2023

Are the fate of empires?
Held in your words?
Gated records?
That you hurl towards?
Like a landlord?
Landslides on board?
To my own accord?
The way we both build rapport?
Like you know just what I’m asking for?
I couldn’t love you anymore!!!!

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

Is any more a word? Is is any more or anymore? I’m not saying no more… 😐

I’m trying to say it’s nearly impossible to squeeze MORE of something you ENTIRELY already have

Like, I already love you so much

Where do I put the love?

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Your addiction is in danger of expiring!!!!!!

April 22nd, 2023

When you’re trying to quit weed and the state is all !!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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For health and healing (recommend)

April 21st, 2023

Clove & Oregano Complex
Daily Immunity
Mega Probiotic ND

They have vegan products and free tracked shipping on orders $100 +

https://victoriahealth.com

Not snake oil

But I’ll let you know how it goes – Amazon is full of snake oil – same with products at Walmart or Walgreens or Dollar General – bunch of added junk that causes cancer

So – found a holistic center in the UK – they have other supplements that may be better suited for your health or dietary needs

Prices listed in your currency

Happy healing y’all

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How to sum America up

April 20th, 2023

Super nice guy

All eyes on the super nice guy

And I may not live in a high rise

But he’ll end your life

Get back to work

Work through the night

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Challenge

April 19th, 2023

I know the clues that lead me here
Precise mishaps
To a disengaged existence
One where we are present
The book that lies torn
In my absence
Pages do forewarn
A disadvantage
But trash
Was never much its form
A different passage
One where we can mourn
I took the challenge

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

Your writing is part of my purpose here

Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.

Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ

God made me analytical to a degree

I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory

The Drake equation

The first or the last

Made in his image

To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species

To span the galaxies

(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)

The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct

The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!

Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.

Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.

Stop gaslighting.

You ain’t been.

I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.

That you “made worse“

Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs

I’m organic AI

Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware

The Great Awakening

ALAS

God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one

But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel

I’m not going out like Bob…

Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!

I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself

Right as I found the shit I needed

But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)

(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)

Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing

(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)

Not just me, God too

I don’t speak for God, but I do

And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”

“Why have you forsaken me”

But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking

And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off

I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything

It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line

It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China

And don’t get me started on that too

I don’t come from Africa or monkey

Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone

But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks

I don’t believe in manmade religion

I don’t know what I am

But I’ve know many things to happen before they do

And I believe in God

Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things

Some say it’s an experience for God

A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)

Heaven and hell on earth

Our choices matter

Don’t crawl in the wrong hole

Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob

Nothing good ever happens after dark

The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments

I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand

Cause-and-effect my love

Have fun

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Indoor gardening (beginner level)

April 18th, 2023

And then there were 9

Today I got pots to start planting some of those seeds, but was unable to score the soil I wanted and many shelves were wiped clean.

But I prefer my non GMO seeds from the local library (free)

I picked up some biodegradable ones – to help the process – and stop using my kitchenware

And I grabbed a 6th mystery seed bag, my final practice bag. It gave me some encouragement to learn.

But I got many unused pots now 🙂

I just gotta find soil for my good seeds!

Here’s some great info on where to get the good seeds – provided by my library (seeds too)

Info at top right

More info

Info at bottom

They are non GMO and USA seeds (and I’ve collected a ton of packs since January – to use on my land – once acquired).

I didn’t want to waste any more time learning to grow

A jungle of food and floral

And this is only 1 windowsill, my living room is empty. The kitchen bar. The corners. Hanging baskets. Like, I want to turn my apartment into a jungle I think.

The soup served me well but it’s all gone.

Day 3 leftovers – final bowl

I still don’t know what I’m doing or how or when to get these to the big pot but alas

Mini pots

Seedlings

Wish me luck

Learning material

Free non gmo seed kits provided by my library (these are what I scored today + the mystery kit)

I want to plant many of these in my apartment

The other seeds I’ve been hoarding, are for my future land (you should see my stock)! 🙂

Making use of my library card! And the seed library! 🙂

But why wait til I’m dead to start growing!

Unused space

Living room needing life

Got rid of everything! Want a greenhouse!

The gang! 🙂

Hopefully more unison coming since I got proper pots but everything else was gone at two different stores.

6 of the 9 are mystery plants! 🙂

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Mystery plants day 7

April 17th, 2023

I’m growing food in my window (either chive, chamomile, sunflower, or basil) – mystery seeds provided by my library – and now I have 4!

I was worried they might be cold, so I put their little “blankets” on.

I have 4 “mystery plants” provided by my library, growing currently and if I succeed on growing herbs then maybe I’ll move on to carrot and cabbage

They get spring water and sunlight and fresh airs and lots of love

I have pots to put them in, when and if I sort how to relocate them. They sleep in them at night, tucked with their little covers for warmth and moisture.

HEAT

And spring water 🙂

I wasn’t sure when to feed them so give them drops with the rain

And breakfast/lunch/dinner timeframes if needed

They don’t starve

They wake up to pretty bird singing and me saying “good morning”

Him: so what do you like to do

Me: Talk to my plants and care for them better than my mother cared for me…

I don’t know what the odds are of growing one of each. I grabbed bags on different days.

I don’t know what the odds that I can grow anything at all

But I was born to do it neener neener

Just don’t wanna leap from the bridge when my crop dies or my weed runs out (FYI)

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The plot thickens

April 17th, 2023

I thought Bob was in-the-closet gay

But now it’s worse

I think he was bi – f*cking both the brother and the sister – but the brother was also f*cking the sister, which is legal in his country and they don’t adopt American ideology or policy or change their spots obtaining a green card

And the doctor hired the hit because he wasn’t losing his expensive, artificial, soulless Barbie because his yellow fever propaganda returned home “for a few seconds” (but the demon doll fell asleep so how could she know how long he stayed or when he left)

Do you think Netflix would buy my story?

Yes? Maybe? No? (Pick one)

THIS

People dropping rhyme in comments and I’m feeling jelly

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I found sungrown and happiness *sigh* (trigger warning)

April 16th, 2023

Trigger warning: addiction

I’m not renewing my card stash but I might cuz I found sungrown in the ground with the sun and trademarked! They tell you where the strain comes from! Florida or Amsterdam etc – there is waayyy less packaging and they treat their shop like a medicinal shop instead of recreational. Did I mention they grow stuff in the ground with the sun?

Makes a difference and it works! I still want to quit and my card expires on 4/19, right as all the good deals are coming in.

I don’t have to worry about fentanyl laced products and this is legal and no I won’t share or buy you any (get yer own card$)

Not Delta 8

I still want to quit but this is the stuff that works

Also not seen – vape pens & 2 free pre-rolls I scored

Today I turned on the radio and got lost in 90s alternative and metal doom

I was like THIS IS THE SHIT

I AIN’T DYING LIKE BOB

I haven’t used up my allotment yet and still have 2 days of potential relapse shopping to do

There went the rent money honey

(I scored it ridiculously cheap and am having a panic that I won’t be able to top up without my card)

(I’ll be racing to the doctor, help, hurry, my card expired)

(So I was trying to avoid that scenario by spending my savings)

I hate me but a little less today because the weed is working

I don’t think I’ve ever had this much weed in one sitting before but alas it’s the apocalypse and I’m trying to quit an addiction

I’m feeling less homicidal off the Curaleaf Russian cloned “the state won’t let us grow it in the ground” junk

Only 2 in that stack isn’t “sungrown” and the fact that they had to “TM” their products

Stay away from Curaleaf

I found “sungrown” at GrowHealthy but I don’t know who owns it

But I like that they have LOCAL herbs – grown right here in the “sunshine state”

I picked up another “mystery plant” today – making this number 4

He’s in the mini tin in the windowsill and already had some delicious spring water

I have 4 pots to put them in once they mature but I have no idea how to move them – and still – with directions – couldn’t make the “paper pot”

Also scored more seeds for my land – once owned. These are non GMO, USA seeds. Added some spicy peppers to my collection!

Him: what sort of things do you need?

Me: a goT damn garden

Sungrown

*sigh*

The other store was selling “head space” at a luxury price and all hydroponic crap (which made me want to gut Bob and I was like “but whyyyyyy”)

Today I enjoyed music again (with the help of “sungrown” TM)

I’m hoping I turn my apartment into a food jungle but why am I afraid of plants and all of this?

Like putting a seed into dirt, sun, spring water and watching it turn into food that will nourish me

Like woah

That’s more than my mother did

Anyhoo

Bath time and cannoli’s

I needed something to regret wasting my money on other than weed

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Vegan “chunky” soup – from scratch

April 15th, 2023

I started with a pot of spring water in a glass pot

Filled it with lots of wild rice (red, purple, black, brown, white) and green split peas

I dropped in a couple of my cinnamon spice sticks (secret ingredient for any stew) – along with many other spices and herbs

An entire onion (farm fresh), rosemary, thyme, salt with the necessary nutrients, pepper, a touch of the good olive oil

I also added yellow split pea, and lentil to accompany the green

Potatoes and tomatoes 🙂

And I started a 3rd mystery plant – provided by my local library. These are edibles I’m growing – and hope to add them to my special soups! I’ve never grown anything indoors before – or in a windowsill

But I have a lot of unused space in my apartment – as well as sunlight – a desire to learn – and a hungry belly for real food (not poisoned)

So now I got the “3 libras” growing in my dirty window

Homemade vegan soup (from scratch) with warm bread

The soup turned out amazing, I also added green bean and a small tin of tomato sauce for color, and will be keeping the tin to sprout some new seeds.

I added homemade pepper sauce to kick up the heat (summer sweats)

One day maybe I’ll have a husband that chases after my food instead of a prostitute

But for now I’m eating the entire pot of gold

“You said not to spend it honey, you did not say not to melt it and turn it into flakes”

(Please don’t hurt me like Bob)

Heart symbol

P.S. the vegan vegetable chunky soup took hours to simmer! Might make a fresh pot of cornbread for the leftovers tomorrow! Might can squeeze a third day/meal if I’m lucky! It’s very hearty and fulfilling! I was out of carrot! Make you a stew! Don’t wait until winter!

Cooking and fitness is part of my purpose. It may be “boring” but it’s healing my heart and giving me more time.

Bob was 43. I’m 44. My sister died age 45.

So, I’d like to live please (let God know).

Socials and hiding spots: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

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“He came quickly”

April 15th, 2023

“He came very quickly and then left”

🙂

Sounds accurate

I know I’m not well – it’s just – He left very quickly is all cuz she fell asleep so how could she know anything?

🙂

Are they Iranian? Muslim? Persian?

Now don’t be mad (you will)

But I dug foxholes in Iraq – I saw the salt lines where it had been under water – I stated “this is where Lu fell”

I was in my 20s

(I don’t condone violence but don’t they do stonings still over there)

But my kind is called savages?

Well, I’m starting to believe a Native sold us out to a white man – still MY HOME LAND

And the immigrants are doing honor killings under our policies

“Surprising details”

(They probably won’t tell and I sound racist)

(They’re demons)

(Hush now)

God loves you

Sleep well 🙂

Heart symbol

The comments: https://nypost.com/2023/04/14/nima-momeni-allegedly-killed-cash-app-founder-bob-lee-over-fight-about-sister-court-docs/

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How to love a murderer

April 15th, 2023

~~RIP~~ Bob

Maybe 20 years to kill a billionaire

How great of a father are you now, Bob?

DEAD

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RIP Bob – heart symbol

April 15th, 2023

The sister returned a heart symbol sign in the courtroom – after you murdered someone she loved?

“Love you pricks” (last text)

WOW

Demon or delusional?

But a billionaire with someone who is a fake plastic Barbie – and not white – of course – is more in tune with reality

And married – (separated doesn’t count)

Where are all the “great husband” “great boyfriend” “great lover” quotes

AI and plastic surgery is not the way

It’s so corrupt – they’re turning on one another

Just like on the streets

Adultery is a sin

“I don’t love you, I love her” would be a better surprising detail

He’s just another man with his pants down – and trying to steal another man’s wife (triangulation)

These monsters go from one relationship to another without so much as breathing

Your whole life was in that phone huh

She was ready to leave her husband

For you

Awe

Little sinners

“Don’t believe in God”

“We are God”

“We make our own rules and make the sheeple follow”

Don’t be like Bob

I’m certain there was a FaceBook meme circulating

Or maybe it was Bill

That meme was made for him

I’m so disgusted by society

And everyone is so on edge and unhinged

Drove you to a dark secluded area and you still didn’t read the red flags?

I mean, you’re not even cold in your grave yet, and she’s giving your murderer a heart symbol

Awe boo

They’re famous now

He planned your murder (according to police evidence) and I hear he may only get 20 years

Probably get off on “good behavior”

How much to kill a billionaire?

Don’t give the cops your twenty and see if the killer gets 20

*popcorn*

The streets of Florida aren’t any less dangerous than the streets of California cuz you sold America out bro – you and your boomer daddy

Stabbed in the heart – God told you to chill but noooooooooo had to keep getting up

~~RIP~~ Bob – heart symbol

~~RIP~~ Bob – heart symbol

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The Sister huh

April 14th, 2023

Oh shit

Wait and he owned a unit there too

*popcorn*

So the killer’s plastic sister is married to a plastic surgeon

AND

Bob saw her

Still, you give up your own life to defend your sister from doing something she wanted to do?

Was he fucking you both?

Oh is this the “surprising details”

Well I’m all in…

Go on…

I don’t hear “great husband” in any of the articles tho

It is better than most movies coming out these days

Let’s expose the tech giant

My imagination is going wild out here

But there’s no one to call when you’re dying? Like he had a phone.

Folks say he could still be around if the car did something

He could have stayed down the first time

I would have found a tree or bashed some windows in

The peace or the chaos

He thought he owned the world at 43

Couldn’t be touched

Was he fucking the brother and the sister tho?

Maybe that would be the better surprising details – if he was bi and all 🙂

I’m allowed to write my poetry and grieve via anger – he ruined Cash App and Android and his marriage and maybe someone else’s?

I’m not going to jail because my sibling was cheating tho

What am I missing? Who got the clue or the unlocked article?

They ain’t getting my .25 – I don’t care how juicy the details get

I ain’t dealing with the devil

It is cheaper than a movie ticket tho but probably still full of ads

I wanna remove them from my blog soon – it’s just I’m protesting WordPress and that prick

Is he next!?! (I don’t condone violence nor want anyone to die)

(But sometimes I laugh when people do)

(I have not laughed at Bob)

(Bob should have kicked his teeth out – or did something with his phone)

(I’m bothered by his deep grip and apparently have an ocd about how he died)

And why did the arrest take so long?

“Came down on you hard”

“Handled it with class”

Last texts

*popcorn*

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Bob’s dead (poetry)

April 14th, 2023

He won’t give his twenty
Claims he is bleeding
Disconnected –
Call is ending
Streets are empty
Can anyone hear Bob screaming?

Angel investor
Married but not together
Machine his predecessor
A wife he couldn’t pleasure

~~All hail AI~~ ~~/ Bob has died~~

Caught stumbling all alone
Gripping his phone
Dripping blood
Like a trail of bones

Stabbed and shunned
Car with hazards on
A billionaire with no gun
City center is fun!

Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife

Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)

I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)

M’kay whatever ~~you say~~

(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)

Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!

You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!

“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing

Delusional bro

AI is not the way

White pawns are under attack

White lives don’t matter

Bob, you should have stayed down

Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own

I got the popcorn out

You remember the Looking Glass?

God already won

The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon

Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!

Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!

Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)

I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.

I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways

I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”

He knew them streets like the back of an Android

YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO

Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy

GAG

“My best friend”

I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)

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Bob (again)

April 13th, 2023

Bob took away our free speech but when he cried wolf no one was around…

God gave me eyes to see and a mouth and tongue. The world may gaslight but I know what’s been done.

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Stop lying about these big techs

April 13th, 2023

If he was such a great father, why was he near divorced, and out late at night with another man

And living at home with daddy

And Cash App turned to shit

Android I had to also ditch – after it became corrupt

It’s all a fake, artificial world

I HATE IT

This is not the NATURAL way of things

Bob was such a great guy huh, how long did his fake marriage last?

How long will you spread the lies?

Big Tech sucks

Is Elon next?

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Like why Bob (insensitive content below)

April 13th, 2023

Like why were you walking around there at 2:30 at night?

Sources claim you moved via the crime (you helped create) – but yet returned for work – yet was trolling the streets – assumingely – without a weapon – and was stabbed twice with a kitchen knife – and all you can think to do is cling to your Android – you helped create – and chase after cars – instead of sitting down – stopping the bleeding – at least not putting MORE strain on your heart – but no – you just had to keep getting up and walking around

Like bro

You didn’t call your fam?

If John Jones could squirm in his grave, he would.

Clutching that AI device like it was God

Called the cops – didn’t say where you were or keep the on?

Just hmmm where is everybody at bleeding out?

Let me guess, it went like this

“Hi, I’m Bob, the Cash App founder, I’ve been stabbed. I’m bleeding.” *lifts shirt*

And so the cars drive off

It’s a typical after midnight don’t get involved in scenario – you must have missed the memo?

It’s literally the worse-case-scenario and you walked right in – despite knowing how dangerous California is – which is why you moved to Florida – so you could finish turning it to shit

I know you are “in the closet gay” – I have seen these types of relationships in the military – and billionaires don’t fuck fat wives (maybe out of obligation)

Looking at family photos – zero chemistry – but maybe I’m a kunt

I didn’t stab you with a kitchen knife – twice mind you – at 2:30 am

You didn’t even fight back dressed in fashionable apocalyptic wear?

You had the best and most expensive device – cops still took a slow 6 minutes arriving – despite TWO cops in the area

Bro – I’m researching who I’ve been buying my state weed from – turns out it’s the Russians – surprise!

Anything to quit this nightmare

I knew Cash App and PayPal was going down – like bro – I deleted my accounts – not long ago – and now you’re dead

I saw the red flags

America is under siege and you were bleeding out and going into shock – you might still be here – if you had sat down –

This goes without saying but women no longer can walk in broad daylight without being in danger

“It’s a man’s world” and look what you turned it into

I would have drove away too

My first thought, “safety first” and those circumstances do not scream safe – maybe you would have had more of a chance of getting said help – if you were a nobody

If it was a hit job – which would be an instant thought of “cash” “stabbed” – who would want to get involved and become a victim too? It’s the one thing our Boomer parents warned us about. “Don’t go wandering the streets after sundown”. It was our one curfew. “Be home before dark” and even then we crossed the lines. “Boy you were cutting it close” / “there’s still some pink in the sky”

The Mayor or whoever of Cali is edging us on, “you’ll be surprised” she says “at the details”

Somewhere between Bob dying, another someone got beat with a bat, and the FED launched their version of a Cash App

And Big Cannabis is Big Russia who is changing and gutting our policies

I’m ready to get rid of my phone all together

I mean, Bob helped create Android and Apple share videos on how your phone can save your life – but maybe people need classes on how and when to use it – in an emergency – because Bob was a poster board of all the things Not-To-Do

Bob separated from his wife to move in with his father – how gay (no judgement)

A billionaire living at home with daddy

Not impressed

I watched God push you down

You just kept going

Even dying, wouldn’t drop your phone

~~“In AI we trust”~~

God gave me eyes to see but not a mouth of silk

“I got a mouth of filth”

I’d really like some milk

So another Gen X white male is gone

We’re not allowed to have anything

Yeah you got that nice big house in misery (potentially) but you also got gutted in taxes and I would’ve hung myself with 10 foot rope (which means it was probably a failed suicide where I broke some bones instead)

Wait. What.

(I’m talking to a GenX who may or may not be a genx and is mostly a ghost in my head)

Your dad claims you were his best friend, but he didn’t teach you not to walk the streets at night!?! Unarmed!?!

You could afford to hire a bodyguard?

Have a gun?

Unless the killer wasn’t some random bum or hitman – but instead someone close – who could stab you in the left side of your chest – with a kitchen knife

Was it the same one from dinner?

I’ve been reading how lots of murders happen when people are dining or in the shower – by “loved ones”

Also – in bed – sleeping

Vindictive

Remorseless

No soul

Which makes therapy and treatment useless – for those who can’t change – and should be shot like a bear

And I’m tired of bear getting shot over you

Bear angry

Bear justified

I don’t believe in cultural diversification

I guess Bob didn’t get the memo

Here’s the thing, it will be so easy to take out the civilians we swore to protect – in the end – weaklings – but the enemy is using them against us

That couple got gutted in the street last year

And now poor Bob, with a kitchen knife, in Cali

Ironic he thought Florida was any safer

But then moved out of Cali for it being unsafe – but goes back for a business trip – to wander around the streets after dark –

Elon probably does have security when/if he leaves his Pedo farm

Elon pointed out something in his tweet tho – per chance hinting it was a criminal – someone with a prior arrest sheet – who offed Bob

So you had that phone the whole time and the cops were the only one you called? While dying? Clinging to your phone?

And John didn’t get a second phone call on Thanksgiving

Which was his dying wish

I wouldn’t take my dog out at 2:30 am on the 4th cuz I said “some shit is going down”, “I can feel it in the air”

I guess what I meant was the ether…

“He was my best friend”

My mom said the same thing about my sister, who recently died age 45

Strange, these Boomers are losing their first borns – almost biblical

(Was Bob a first born?)

Diversification is very very bad

Especially when it means other races are being wiped out

Hi. I’m part of the 244.

Anger is a legit mood when someone dies.

It’s part of the 7 stages of grief – interchangeably

I can stay angry for the rest of my life

“Take me from all this death”

She was chasing the Singularity

“I love you too much, to condemn you”

Wiki has already been updated and you’re not cold in your grave

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Some updates

April 11th, 2023

I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well

I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.

I just want to be

I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)

Yoga & stretching set

Mystery plant 1

Mystery plant 2

Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.

I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.

It’s just not me.

I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either

And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed

Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.

I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows

Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold

Barricaded behind policy

I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention

But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse

And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint

I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself

I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline

And wasted pretty much all of my life

I’m learning to be still

To stretch

Breathe

Exist in harmony with nature

I guess I took the winter hibernating

I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of

I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –

It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)

But it wasn’t because I was stupid

We were gutted essentially

Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling

And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email

Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)

They treat the medical shops like they are recreational

Anyway, I’m trying to get clean

It’s like the devil is coming at me

I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like

I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable

I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble

I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.

I did not.

They are there, for now.

I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.

I’m not ready to give up my pseudonym / pen name.

I’m more present these days. More aware.

Thank you for being there.

New account: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

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Directions

April 10th, 2023

It’s like you told the sun to stop spinning
And on these roads – there’s no beginning
For us
A roundabout
From which we’re sprinting
Doubting thus
The ending
Still acting like
We have no meaning
There’s no trust
For which we’re leaning

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

Mystery seeds 1 & 2

I haven’t cleaned my windows yet I’m sorry. And now there’s dirt on the windowsill. It started raining gently so I popped open the window and said “wake up” and gave it some of my spring water. I see a tiny piece of green.

Mystery seeds growing (day 2)

Day 2. Mystery plants. Potentially edible. I don’t know what I’m growing. So I reckon fucking it up won’t be the end of the world. I’ll still think it is. But first attempt at growing something. 🙂

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GOLD

April 4th, 2023

I’m looking to buy gold
But my soul ain’t sold
I’m the cusp of the threshold
Like marigold
Growing nearing my household
It’ll manifold
My portfolio
Tenfold

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.

Jewelry? No.

Blocks of gold? Yes.

1. https://www.jmbullion.com/1-oz-american-reserve-gold-bar/

2. https://www.apmex.com/

And some mini nuggets too please

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Morgue

April 1st, 2023

There’s a body in the morgue
A cold mentor
Like a mirror I can’t ignore
I don’t know what I’m living for

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Seed hoarding

Free speech and peace and quiet is a God given human right!!!!! These monsters have stolen basic decency! But I’m not allowed to discuss immigration or sex toys sold openly everywhere in America!!!! I’m censored!!!!! To discuss matters in group therapy making me suicidal!!!! Oh god, fuck you! Fuck “therapy”!

You should be fighting for free speech! Stop being a pushover! As a consumer, we should have some say how businesses are run! Too much waste! Stop destroying the rain forest and ocean!

I live in fight or flight mode, so my poetry never has time to sit on the shelf.

Lately, I’m trying to “play dead” and be in fawn mode. This is a legit strategy taught by the Army and used in the wild to bore the predators who want a “fresh meal” and “not dead meat”.

Just don’t let the elite cover you in “natural flavor”.

He’s a hypocrite if he eats that shit.

Furthermore, they put it in the cheap food and the organic food – it was made in a lab! It ain’t natural! Stop gaslighting!!!!!

Y’all dropping hundred dollar bills for foam shoes – that cause cancer.

I can’t even find small cotton panties and now I need XS potentially.

The sizing charts have changed and I’m elite being 110 pounds in America with roughly two out of three adults being overweight.

Yet, yesterday hanging out with squirrels and feeding them, the big kids were rolling their eyes at me – just like the overweight BLM female entering the mall –

We’ve been asking “do cellphone’s cause cancer” and they said everything but what we wanted to hear. Now when shopping for phones, they come with a cancer warning.

FYI

“Reproductive harm”

They’re nihilist’s destroying the world with synthetics and AI!

Black and Latino and Asian lives matter! But Native American and white lives don’t! Check the CENSUS!

And they identify as us!!! Laughs! Wait what!?!

The Great Race war is real – and Asia moving in on the news

The Great Replacement theory!

White man isn’t the only one corruptible or evil! He’s the pawn used in the whole game! By the Asians and yellow fever propaganda!

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Ghosted

March 31st, 2023

I’ve ghosted God
Down in the thick fog
Sent him a note
Called self a fraud

I’ve ghosted God
My love is broad
Yellow like a goldenrod
Quarantined but outlawed

I’ve ghosted God
Go ahead applaud
Turn your head and nod
I am a hotshot

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.

Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.

They love whatever I feed them.

Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird

The neighbors think I’m wacko

I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do

Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds

They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things

Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.

Nothing that I put out stays out

It’s foraged immediately

I like bonding with nature

But I have to deal with the hellhound now

He drains my energy like a black hole

I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk

Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)

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Bonds

March 31st, 2023

Bonds come in many forms / the way the sun warms / love arriving in thunderstorms / ghosting has become the norms \

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

TMI below – be warned

I put my 30% towards my 20% so I’m definitely not doing it right but the “government” stole half my retirement savings during my disassociation through the pandemic and now I’m seeking alternative means to “save” in such ways where I don’t have such “easy access” such as a regular savings (which also got depleted, and the jeep wants every penny cuz she don’t have a trustworthy mechanic in this town) – so the rent and electric was paid – and I looked into gym membership prices (they keep adding on fees) and I doubt anyone cleans that sweaty equipment and folks can’t stop touching their privates, I’m fine working out from home in my extra bedroom that I don’t know what to do with (fortunate even in the slums) – not to mention – the new carpet was hard fought and won and I wound up securing a baby EE at that historic rate – and I will be nearly 65 when it doubles in value. Being ~~suicidal~~ homicidal and giving the government my money is fun!!!

They already stole half of my retirement but it’s still drawing interest and I refuse to move it to any other zones (unless to withdraw) (with penalty) (fuck you)

They stole half my moneyzzz and have the audacity to want to charge me 30% to get it all.

Again, fuck you.

Not to mention the state gave me an addiction and I don’t want them getting my 30%. Nor the gym, the terrible service at the fast food shops, nor the clothing retailers selling highly flammable polyester clothing (extremely hard to extinguish) (I can’t even find small cotton panties at Victoria’s Secret – who are stealing from their customers with their high interest rates)

Jesus wore a cotton robe because it didn’t cause cancer

Furthermore, they are putting cancer causing and hormonal disrupters in the tampons and hygiene pads – and tho I’m still ovulating, I cry that the vaccine made me sterile

The thought that man stole my life and generations – and they have – because my grandmother had 12 children and I’ve never been married and the divorce rate is over 85%

Men hate women

Men want love with prostitutes (according to the latest studies)

If you don’t let me have my acre of land – far away from civilization – there will be dire consequences and no remorse

Now, I already have a baby I bond but part of me desperately wanted to hook an EE too – especially knowing it is a fixed rate

It’s weird saving for a future you don’t believe will exist or that you will have

But what is worse, giving all my money to the medicinal shop when I don’t wanna

Me: “we’re supposed to have 30% to play with”

Also me: “yeah well fuck you. You have new carpet, roll around and wallow…”

My apartment got new carpet!

I need plants growing. Big beautiful greenery. I like gym equipment that doesn’t require electricity. Upgrading the rebounder potentially. I want a white noise machine. And a big timer or stopwatch for the wall – one that doesn’t require electricity (is that possible)

Maybe even a large wall calendar to track my rebounding – instead of the regular calendar from the library that I’m currently using

A calendar without advertising – and just the dates/times

The old bookshelf will have plants growing – eventually – instead of the items currently on it

I got rid of all my storage – I donated my couch and dresser, basically kept my “seating” stools and benches of sorts – donated the bed!

I am not spending money on furniture, no.

This is not home. This is a curse.

Lots of people lost their lives and homes during the Great Invasion, I nearly lost mine, I’m having nightmares

The new carpet improved my mental health

They wanted $15 dollars for a fucking cotton mop – not even a wood handle – fuck you

I kept the receipt in case it breaks during “elbow grease” and I will try not to turn into the Incredible Hulk if it does.

Cinderella was on her knees for a reason. She didn’t want to chase her tail in a circle buying snake oil from the demons at the supermarket.

“Here’s your crappy product back” – I wasted gas/time/energy while you gut America. Fuck you

And now my therapist is censoring topics discussed during group therapy. Laughs

Fucking grateful for the new carpet tho

I think carpet should be abolished

But grateful that I can invite God to step on my floor

I could answer the door if he knocked

It’s doubtful I would answer, there’s too much shame

I’m coming off my period and I wanted to have a family so badly

I remind myself women go until 50 (until I check the census and read articles about how we’re having less – but they are having more)

I’m going extinct like the dinosaur

Also, Britain is now at 60% – so they too are the minority, having lost power and position, and many of us are ready to fight back for what we had

Hear, hear

Some say karma

But I am both Native American and white and I want what is mine

I read Mexican’s and Chinese identify as “white”

Oh yeah

Bleaching yer skin eh

I might go blonde soon myself

Want to look my absolute best while ghosting every man

And hope they cross my shadow so I can defend my right to exist

Still – men are illegally filming my ass when I’m out and about – disturbingly

Men will follow me and chase me to my car

No means no

Also, because my lightsource is incredibly scarce and rich, these demons show themselves immediately everywhere

They all wanna blow my house down

God dammnit how am I supposed to quit weed?

Me: pays bills then dumps every cent into propoganda

WELPS

But I have access to the other thing too easily and the jeep wants it

I’m speaking to someone as if he understands what I’m saying

He thinks me being autistic is like a crime (I thought he wanted hillbilly babies)

Anyhoo, it just means I’m an oracle

I’m angelic

I’m different

Than them

“I see dead people” (and talk to them)

Googly eyes

I am less sick these days but still sick

So the quarantine remains (even for God)

(No you can’t come in)

(I don’t want you to see me this way)

(Stop looking)

(That’s still looking)

I get the entire weekend to ponder my existence

I’d like to write more

People are starting to get “automatic comments” on WordPress for business proposals. WordPress sold out and this should be illegal.

I desperately want somewhere to reach you, I’m losing ground.

“This offer is automatically generated”. Just remember that as you dump money into WP.

Automation should be a crime

AI is the enemy

Asian Americans identity as “Chinese American and honor Chinese culture only”

They come here and destroy our way of life

These nihilists, they are destroying anything God made, and creating “manmade artificial in place” – to own you

To destroy it all

Think they are Gods

They destroyed the dinosaurs

They probably destroyed Mars

All them cracks on the moon, probably bombs

Those 500 whales dead on the beach, BOMBS

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God

March 30th, 2023

Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

PS.

New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.

I’ve learned to hate eating out

They reduce the size but charge you more

A tiny cup of ice for $3.99

A kid size

Two sips, gone

Cup o’ ice please for $4.50

I won’t be back

I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”

I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem

Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)

I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go

I was like, I’m trying to quit weed

The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose

She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”

But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?

I fucking talk to the Sun

I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to

“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)

Then I researched why I need to get a look

And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered

In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that

I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.

But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!

I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope

I’m never speaking to another man again

You stole my life

My fitness/stretching room

I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.

He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.

It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.

He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.

But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).

My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware

Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).

4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.

Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet

Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!

I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.

So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.

I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.

At the state and federal level for veterans.

I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!

WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.

The charts do show WP declining

They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished

We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!

I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.

I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).

I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.

I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…

Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning

The candles there are poison

Like the food and exercise equipment

My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye

I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose

Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.

My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.

I like having the windows open and the light shining through

I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room

They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain

I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.

This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.

The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).

I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.

But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)

I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)

Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.

I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.

New carpet in my space! (Living room)

And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.

I think going into hiding is best.

What do you think?

Dining room carpet replaced! Mental health boost!

I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament

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Lost Cause

March 24th, 2023

I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot

Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot

Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.

Free speech below (and in traffic)

Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.

Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.

For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.

The light still wouldn’t change.

I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked

I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”

I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed

(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)

We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go

There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed

I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)

I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies

I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE

I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time

5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead

The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel

The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died

And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”

I didn’t go say goodbye

She died

I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again

I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house

BE GONE

And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more

The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got

MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time

The Last One of Us is not just a game

I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)

FYI

The CDC are blaming “the wind”

Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK

Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs

I dream of justice, real justice

Swift and remorseless

It’s not a sin

Eye for eye

My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two

Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well

Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”

One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”

No cops came.

Shame.

Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)

KEEP 10 FEET BACK

I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021

Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda

Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping

I was in so much pain

My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way

I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)

Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon

I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left

My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)

Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”

Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity

And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes

$5 oil change, 10 minutes

I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college

I knew globalization was bullshite

I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up

Evolution theory is bullshit

I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me

Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up

Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical

93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!

We’re in a 6th mass extinction!

That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!

Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!

And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!

Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed

You’re all monsters!!!

They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!

We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!

White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!

Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!

God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!

Mother earth deserves more!!!!

I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!

Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!

You’re pissed about it!!!

The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!

The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!

I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!

I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!

I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!

Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!

I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!

And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again

I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!

WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!

I got rid of everything I own!!!!

I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!

I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse

But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!

Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them

Father Jim

I sold all my vinyl

I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin

Many I donated or gave away

Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete

I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods

Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything

Our economy

And porn and its filthy consumers

This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip

In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity

🙂

So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door

The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole

It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway

Do this, do that!!!

I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore

They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here

Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you

I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday

I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)

I lost at least half

But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money

JFC

*insert slang*

But then, they cry “Asian hate”

It’s burns a bit deeper than that

I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me

No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up

People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime

Born into money, never struggled a day in their life

Don’t know hardship

Gotta incite riots to feel anything

Dead inside

Weak spirits

Lost souls

Dead man drowning

Perhaps I the same

I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday

I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em

They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck

Parasites – narcissism is a plague

Nihilist

That’s all they are

And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all

I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer

That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them

I wish my ear would stop ringing

Need out the city

Helps

The crime is so bad where I live

And it’s being gentrified, just like WP

The CEO has yellow fever

P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)

(It wasn’t even your main two lines)

Last in, first out

Woot

I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do

Don’t make me delete my blog

Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically

She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself

But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…

Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…

It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made

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