I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from going down a path I never grow
Then I’d never sneer when I see an old photo
I’d never ever wonder who I’d be without the woe

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from packing all of this emotional cargo
I seem to carry it with me no matter where it is I go
I’d gladly give it to you but there’s no place left to stow

© Delia Ross. 2019

Be tender with my will
Craters have formed from the impact of your words
They crush and pulverize
How deep do my crevices go?
Their corridors are dark
And fill with regolith
I tremble with aftershocks
As your words settle into the cold
My bones hold worries unknown
My smooth surface eroding from longing
I’d let you hide in my depths
Come and go with the shadows
See how the light races around my hole
It falls into aches and covers the night with hope
I am longing to find you there
Your words move quicker than light-speed
I am hollow, penetrate me
Watch how the dust settles
There’s a glimmer of destiny there
Satisfaction
Unison
We belong together
Like orbits decaying
Feel the pull
Shake me
The more you resist, the harder I tug
Inevitability
Had you not found me when you did
My darkness might have perished forever

Maybe if he understood the need
How longing is growing like a weed
And in between the distance and the stars that truly listen
I know he’d rather have me in the lead

Maybe if I took the time to plead
And nurtured space like it was a seed
The stuff that would be growing is the energy in knowing
That fate will come to help us both succeed

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you now can support this blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (sign-up is quick & easy): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Listen to me share stories and attempt spoken word (sometimes with guitar) on my radio channel at Tuners Radio: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

In fact, I did a little jingle of this on my Tuners just…

Underneath the stones of regret peace is found
Though the tether is outstretched it is still bound
The weather grew punishing and so too his frown
But my love for him keeps circling around

And I try my hardest to stand
But this depression keeps showing its ugly hand
And I’m trying to fly but in his heart I just crash-land
And it breaks my heart I did it again

So with my broken will I isolate the curse
But without him I am ever growing worse
And if I could I would put time in reverse
Love would be the only tether we would traverse

I pushed away the only thing that ever mattered
And when he left my soul completely shattered
And now there’s nothing, not even a word
And his silence is the loudest sound I have ever heard

© Delia Ross. 2019

---

I never wanted to…

Her skin is pale in the early evening
hanging upside down
from the foot of an unmade bed
feeling weightless
watching the world beyond the window
where Autumn rain falls upward
and lights divide

No appetite in this dark room
no appetite for days
friends all kept at bay
no rubber masks, only patches of ice
no fireworks, just fallen leaves collecting
passing headlights flood the room
then scan across the ceiling

Blood is pounding in her ears
‘I’m losing weight’ she thinks
As puddles form in the street outside
the shops all wear their shutters down
She reaches up, closes her eyes
pushes two thumbs into the carpet
and whispers

‘With every second slipping away
we become strangers
with every second sliding away
I cease to belong
to anyone, to anything
and strangers we will always be…’

The endlessness of loneliness
the faceless prison guard
rattles their keys
but…

Writing in circles again
I’m chasing your tail
self-referential
to edge of pointlessness

The nihilistic streak in me
vibrates at the thought of you
It’s like I take my pulse
while getting your name tattooed

You’ve got your phantom hook in me
just deep enough to tear
welcome back
o, welcome back…

The most concise statement I ever etched
the most desperately impassioned verse spilt
it’s emblazoned with your image
it squawks for your attention

That devil on my shoulder
lights a cigarette when you smile
it’s like an ache
and all the pills I can take

You’ve got your phantom hook in me
just deep enough to burn
so welcome back
welcome back…

Be gentle with me
say as little as possible
to me…

It will never be as good as it was
it will never feel like it did at the start
but welcome back
welcome back…

[A…

Fairytale or nightmare
Heaven or hell
Common man or devil
This time I can’t tell

Leisure or battle
Sickly not well
Poison or apple
To leave or to dwell

Whole or a sample
Free or for sale
Space or a shackle
Real or a spell

So many I tackle
His shit I can smell
Tongues full of babble
Be quiet or yell

Fist or a grapple
Satin or shell
To flee or to straddle
Correct or misspell

Stand still now or paddle
The boat took a swell
Clear thoughts or to channel
Hello or farewell

© Delia Ross. 2019

---

Dropped spoken word of this on my Tuners account 👍

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Listen to me…

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