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Alien

What message are they trying to send?
Is it even a lesson I can comprehend?
Why do I always feel so alien?
I know you’re speaking English but I don’t understand

Arms are flaring, lips uncaring, that’s not even my name!
Now I’m under threat, and this is not a fucking game!
You’re yelling, acting crazy, saying that I’m insane

Battles come at you and it’s important for knowing
I know I’m marching right but the exits where I’m going!
Pick your battles wisely or they’ll constantly be flowing

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Fort Worth

I will follow you like budding winds wherever they may blow
We can get there quickly or else we can take it slow
I know we both are driving, but to what direction though?

Time we’re always biding and how much no one can know
Some never realizing we don’t choose the highs and lows
Death can waltz right by, and what shall be our final pose?

I can feel my body dying or perhaps I’m paranoid
Been functioning in life like I’m a rusted, broken droid
T.V. on at night, and they proclaim an asteroid

I want to follow you maybe until the end of Earth
Sunlight from your body puts my soul through a rebirth
But, still, to me you’re worth more than the gold that they secure within Fort Worth

© Delia Ross. 2019

You are fabulous! Thank you for visiting my blog and reading my words! Thanks for your likes, comments or shares! Thank you for returning to read more! Thank you for following me if you are! I am grateful for each and every one of you no matter where you are in the world! It means so much to me that you take the time to read my poetry.

Here is a quick thank you video because I wanted to be able to tell you verbally how much it means! You also get a chance to meet me very briefly.  Direct link to my thank you video is here: https://youtu.be/IcNLKgwjL_U

12,000 visits!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MORE WORDS COMING!!

p.s. I’m aware this should have probably been completed at 10k but I am always late to the party! =)

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My Favorite Lie


It’s what I tell myself to get by, my favorite lie
And one I never use but on myself

If said with a sigh, it’s likely I’ll cry
So I smile and draw a cross upon my chest

There may be a time, I hid more in rhyme
But now there’s really only one left

If put in a book, I know you would look
So I hid the only one on my shelf

© Delia Ross. 2019


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Trying to Forget

You’re coming to town, I heard in the news
You mention her name, it gives me troubling blues
I’ve been that girl, and I’ve fell in her shoes
I forget why I care or how I still hate you
They don’t think I’ve moved on and it’s probably true

But I don’t want you back, I’m the one who left
And the only one who apparently felt
It makes no difference now how many women you get
I was number one and your best asset
I spend all of my time just trying to forget

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Lesson Number One

The first lesson in life there’s not a soul you can depend

You’re standing on a slope and you think you have some friends

You see an edge of hope and you try to rope it in

You have a moment, feast on it, and hope it never ends

You build it up, then break it down, and wish it works as it intends

Laughing all the way while you write your long amends

This will be enough, you hope, to finally settle all the winds

Soon you’ll find it shocking there’s even less who attends

Apparently you’re not the only one who pretends

You shouldn’t ignore lessons that the uni recommends

I gave it to you straight but you took a thousand bends

Now you have a list of a lot of ex-girlfriends

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Nothings Impossible

No I don’t dream, I beam with possibility
As fragile of a thing it may seem

There are things better than a king
A princess no, heaven maybe

Of things that I see and feel
Even you can make me kneel

These things count to zero
When I see you as a hero

Underneath your mask and cape
A gentle heart and one that aches

There is a girl who can fix the scrape
She may even cause you a few earthquakes

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Revive

You take as if I never meant to give
You retreat when nows the time to really live
You forget when all I ask is you forgive
You shine a light when the coast it isn’t clear

I regret but I’ll change another year
You can fret but I’m still around to cheer
I did laugh but instead you saw a tear
We could try but you took a different road

Our lives tied to the lies that we sold
I could love but I’m really not that bold
Their touch it has always been so cold
It was never a dwelling where I could survive

I live in a shell but I’m barely alive
My feet are planted and ready to thrive
I may be depressed but I’ll likely revive

© Delia Ross. 2019

Just a gal and her guitar
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Could Have, Would Have, Should Have

I could have been a lawyer
But I studied instead to mope
I could have loved you better
Now instead I hate you most

I would have wrote a letter
But this poem instead should work
I would have ripped your heart out
And put it on a perch

I should have sought out shelter
When it started to get worse
You should have loved me better
But now instead I’m broke

© Delia Ross. 2019

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If

If you never leap
Our hearts will never be fulfilled
I will slowly be climbing
This hill until I’m killed

If you never wake
I will always stay asleep
Trapped in a nightmare
With only fear that I can reap

If you never jump
My heart will always be on stall
Waiting on a spark
Where no one ever heeds the call

If you don’t believe
I will never love at all
You may take in hope
But it’s likely that I’ll fall

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Pieces

Here, here are all the pieces
I’ve donated them to you
For you to assemble and mend

I’ve signed all official forms & releases
Your package will soon be in view
It’s stamped and addressed to you my friend

Hopefully you can teach me what peace is
My heart is now yours to attend to
Please make all this loneliness end

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Viral Outbreak

I’ll never be anything to anyone you see
I’m not even certain I’m anything to me
I can’t sell you on something I do not believe
God didn’t equip me with eyes that can see

But he gave me the ability to feel
I feel it all without being able to heal
This was never ever part of the deal
It’s like daily I’m having to bow down and kneel

But not for you and not for him
A vast ocean without the knowledge to swim
A country on decline and it’s all looking grim
I’m tired of aching with a broken limb

Everything I do is a potential mistake
Every move I take another reason to ache
Any chance I give you just another heartbreak
Love it needs a vessel like a viral outbreak

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Sad Empty Pathetic Lives

One from my private vault, and from two years ago (April 2017). Completely raw and untouched for April Poetry Month.

sad empty pathetic lives… what reruns they are

he’ll never have my love or respect again. he’ll never have my forgiveness and he’s never going to be worthy of my friendship.
but now, to get up and move again… i need to mend.

sometime in the years end
i need to mend
sometime in the years end
i’ll need a friend

you said you would never hurt me again
a weight off my shoulders
yet seven feet in…

sometime in the years end
i need to mend
sometime in the years end
i’ll cry again

behind those large blue eyes
a monster lurks
never a day that ends-
always at work

he said he would never hurt me again
he said he would never

i hate you
and no amount of time
will ever change that

you know what you are,
you know what you did
how would you think
i’d not wish you dead
how did you think
i’d not wish you dead

i need silence inside my head
but there’s violence inside your bed
how did you think i’d not wish you dead

sad empty pathetic lives… what monsters they are

lurking and lusting and
draining souls
i will never relinquish control
i was head deep in
before i could swim
i’m learning how to live again
i’m learning how to live

oh for a brief moment you made me believe
in a fairytale

(but you’re really a monster from hell, tell tell)

oh ye sloth
you were treated like a king
even out of cloth
and lying on your knee

one or two or a thousand
how many hearts now bleed?

i didn’t want to be her, i plead
but you’re still not listening
you have no heart, you see

oh, and good luck on the baby

what hurts most of all, i believed you
and the thing that hurts most is, you knew all along
you knew

this is cruel deception
you are evil incarnate
the dead, risen again
he has no soul

(might as well call me a widow, i’m mourning my soul
the death of my heart)

nocturnal mourning

every morning

i should have seen
all the warnings

hating you is the only way to get through, it’s the only way i will survive. but is it wrong to hate a monster?

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Update

Hey guys!! I’m sorry if I haven’t been as active lately, not just with posting my own content but with communicating and doing peer reviews with other bloggers. I’ve had a lot going on both in my personal life and professional. I am also trying to beat a nasty illness called depression and sometimes it gets the best of me despite every effort for it not to. I am growing and deteriorating as a person on a daily basis. I can’t seem to slow the process either. I hope you stick around, and if I haven’t been as active with you lately, PLEASE DO NOT take it personally. I am trying to live my best life, without so much suffering involved like it has been the last FORTY years. People make life hard, PEOPLE. Please be kind out there, too much suffering. Just a couple weeks ago an 18 year old kid JUMPED from the I95 overpass bridge, one I had thought of driving off of several times. I was in the traffic when it happened. He was 18. I can’t even type this without tearing up. In fact, driving home yesterday and going over that spot again I started crying. It has hit me so hard and I didn’t even know him. But you don’t have to know someone to love or care for them. WE’RE ALL HUMAN, NO MATTER THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN. Actually, we’re animals just like other animals. Some have evolved more than others clearly. We’re all connected, EVERYTHING. Ever wonder why our tears taste of the ocean? xxoo

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Lines

I never know when it is that I’ll cross a line
Between each state, my next mistake, or maybe when I rhyme
It’s guaranteed, I will succeed, it shouldn’t take much time
I’ve been practicing since I was young like I’m meeting a deadline
Some would even say that I was born without a spine
It’s difficult to receive help even if I hold a sign
If given any choice they’d likely toss me with the swine
Do they know it’s not the mud from which I begrime

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Transfer Request Pending

I’ve never had anyone look at me the way they look at her
Although I am fully grown I must be an amateur
I wonder when they look at me I appear to be a blur
Similar to a black hole, is there nothing to observe?
Many times I have been told I’m just not what they prefer
But why do they always get to decide what is that I deserve?
I applied to move to Mars, I hope they put in my transfer…

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Emotional Cargo

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from going down a path I never grow
Then I’d never sneer when I see an old photo
I’d never ever wonder who I’d be without the woe

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from packing all of this emotional cargo
I seem to carry it with me no matter where it is I go
I’d gladly give it to you but there’s no place left to stow

© Delia Ross. 2019

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RSVP Declined

Why send an invitation if it’ll just be declined
I want to be seen but I stand with the blind
Every rejection makes me more aligned
I still look confused though I’ve made up my mind
You warned you were bad but you are the worst kind

Oh teacher, oh teacher why’d you leave me blue
Another desertion what more can I do
We barely had started but now we are through
I may have been late but I can’t outrun you
Give me the full movie not just the preview

© Delia Ross. 2019

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DEPRESSED 101

My depression is working overtime and charging me extra. Can’t bribe him with a day off no matter the weather. Told him to get moving but he dropped the anchor. This lake is filled with tears and I ain’t getting better. I put it in a memorandum and even wrote it in a letter. He just laughed at me, shouted, and gave the middle finger. The only way I can quiet him is with some liquor. He follows me every year but here’s the kicker.
He mirrors me and worries me and is in every picture. The funny thing, the longer he dreams, the less I remember.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Love Story

It’s a love story from the dead to the dead
Rotating cyclones of he said, she said
It isn’t what I meant here’s what I mean instead
Constantly sending each other gifts of dread
You wanted to be heard, now your face is turning red

But I’m sorry, you’re sorry, it’s all we ever had
Now we’re feeling worse, we are always feeling bad
Our circles quickly dropping unless we stopped trying to add
Try to greet you all and you respond like you are mad
I’m certain all I wanted was for us feeling a tad less sad

Actions and words never meeting in the middle
And every single wound leaves us all so very brittle
Consequences come at you hard to read like a riddle
But everyone thinks they know how to love just a little
You swear it isn’t you but here it comes another missile

I know we’re all in hell it doesn’t take a degree
You’re always on the run, you barely ever take a knee
I know I’m paranoid the devil’s always after me
Blinding us with hate or lust I can’t convince you all to see
I’m just curious if any of you really do feel free

You build these walls and cages but who do they protect
You haven’t convinced me that your life is so perfect
I wonder if any of you clearly understand yet
It’s doubtful though so I’m passing on this bet
I’ll try again and maybe this time I will be more direct

Okay another verse, perhaps a message you can understand
None of this can work if we don’t give a helping hand
I live here, you live there, we all share this land
Love is not something to hoard, set it free unmanned
Love it knows the way so let it lead our command

© Delia Ross. 2019

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house of sadness

dreary of loitering in the house of ache
found abandoned & rotted next to a bloody lake
stopped by to visit when i needed me a break
thought i could stomach being wounded by another snake
broken statues forgotten in my honors sake
you’re terribly rotten for pinching me awake
i was resting soundly til you pierced me with a stake
now fully aware my existence is a mistake
every move wrong no matter which i take
10 reasons to hate you and on that hand i can shake
so if you’d like to visit, a new road you’ll need to make
i’m just a ghost at least you know i never was a fake

© Delia Ross. 2019

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BROKEN TICKER

I do not want it back
This broken heart of mine
It’s been broken now
For the longest time

Tried to fix it
But it has a tick
Under me where it dwells

The tick so loud
Sometimes I want
To kick it straight to hell

Even froze the thing-
Can’t feel anything
But it knows my address well

It’s a subtle ding
Yet I hear it ping
And it makes me want to yell

Tried to send it home
Won’t leave me alone
As far as I can tell

Put a sign outside
With the words FREELOVE wide
Not one fell for the sale!

Watched everyone walk by
Not a tear in their eye
But they all wish me well

© Delia Ross. 2019

Why won’t this heart leave me alone?

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Heart Failure

All my plans haven’t gone away
They’ve really just been delayed

People they fret I can’t explain
They all just sort of strayed

It’s not my style to beg or plead
I sometimes require aid

They all want something from me
I have nothing for trade

Many years spent on this journey
Every direction came a grenade

You tell a different story
That isn’t the life that you portrayed

Why do you get all the glory
While I’m prisoner in this stockade

No need for you to hurry
My heart rotted and decayed

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Permanent Winter

She owed them a pretty picture
Her soul was pretty injured
She sold it but never got richer
She kept it hid under a fancy fixture
The ones who buy it always get triggered
Pointing at you with their middle finger
Too far away you can’t hear them whisper
The season there is a permanent winter
With a sign that reads “winner winner”
You’ve been fed that lie since you were a beginner

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Invisibility

Both of us lost what neither could win
Choosing to struggle over complying
But I guess you know best, why else were you spying
Maybe after her you simply gave up ever trying
Some may live close but they aren’t as gratifying
The effects won’t last long, about as quick as when you’re flying
You know I’m always right, there’s never need for clarifying
In these words I fight because you’re so electrifying
I need for you tonight to realize that I’m dying
To die never loved it sounds so very terrifying
I’m leaving this for you it’s why I’m always writing
You already live a beautiful life, it’s why I’m never prying
It’s a bit unfair, I’m invisible, you’ll never catch me crying

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Cross Your Mind

Crossed our wires, wrong hands for hire
and now they’re blaming me

Shooting blanks and loading tanks
with riots in the street

I’d rather bid my precious hours
where two lovers greet

And if it seems it’s worth my time,
perhaps I’ll move my feet

Into the light, we sail tonight
I brought for us a treat

You’re feeling sour, my mood can tower
it’s best that we shall meet

I promise skies, and never lies
we can be discrete

You can’t deny, I’m on your mind
I think that’s pretty neat

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Never Thought

She never thought she could again feel
Her heart was paralyzed with fear
His words weighed heavy & cut through steel
Wounds so deep one had to kneel
It never seemed the wounds would heal
The lessons never appeared clear
Just gashing pain brought from his spear
The crowd behind him full of cheer
Lashing out at you every year
She must hate him a great deal

© Delia Ross. 2019