Things In Order

What does the room feel like after I’ve left
Are there tears of joy you’ve finally wept?
Now’s the time to take your breath
Things in order how you kept?

Does the air turn to dust and cold
And hope is breath that turns to mold?
Is the darkness you worship wonder to behold
Do you ever notice you are growing old?

Do you take these poems and place them in the attic
Do you convince yourself I’m only erratic?
Do you tell them all I’m just a fanatic
Or do you admit to yourself you’re a narcissistic addict?

Does the blood in your calloused heart move faster
Is everything you destroy a beautiful disaster?
Is love the only thing in life you can never master
Have you ever given yourself an honest answer?

© Delia Ross. 2020


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Scars

The scars on my veins a reminder of pain
The courage just to continue each day
Cuz living with depression is living under chain
You may call me crazy but I’m rather quite sane

The days are heavy and I haven’t any strength
Every foot forward the deeper I sink
The treatments are barbaric and push me to the brink
Every other year I’ve got another kind of shrink

© Delia Ross. 2020

Sending some love hehe (in case you forgots)
Hi’s
I had therapy today and I don’t regret it.
My first ponytail since the 1600s. Some of my biggest mistakes were haircuts. And ponytails?

I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal


Over Bid

I lost everything; my home, my child, my mind
I haven’t found a thing; love, divinity, the kind

I move mountains just by passing time
I grow streams by crying from my eye

I gave it all; my soul, my love, my grind
I received penalties for giving while still blind

I told him my truth but with all cost
I was already dead, before I was lost
She knew the path that she crossed
Circling me will cover you in frost

You know the evil thing you did
You and her are plagues among the grid
Now love is something God will forbid 
And when it comes to love I over bid

© Delia Ross. 2020

Just a weird freestyle y’all, I love the fuck out of him, but you probably can’t tell from this poem… and I’m invisible to him anyway.


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Red

Struggling to put words on the page
Trying to keep the ink from turning red
Difficult finding solitude while I age
Wishing he’d free me from this dread

Difficult finding strength just to engage
Pacing around in circles since he fled
Cannot find my freedom in a cage
Does he understand a word I said

Love is free, it shouldn’t cost a wage
But like a war it turned into bloodshed
As if a play he exited from the stage
And where he goes an angel cannot tread

He avoids the truth like it is a plague
And his thoughts of me he can never shed
Just a gust of wind is all I need to enrage
Already mending pieces where I lost my head

© Delia Ross. 2019

Drop my crutches and crawl on the floor for you / went looking behind every door for you…” (selfie circa 2007)

I did a soft reading of this on my Tuners account (free to listen, no download needed. Great app by Alex Ebert, free app to use too): https://tuners.io/tracks/13799

Listen for free! 🙂

Barely Coping

Forward calls, voicemail full
Store away the wings, ride the bull
Expose the mask, clean the wool
Give sheeple a tug, see if heart can pull

Cotton balls or iron spoons
Pay for love through blackened rooms
Seen as gain but more cartoons
Heard them crying over popped balloons

Walk away again, bury my hope
You gave him love, he gave you rope
Sinful tongue must clean with soap
Life just means I cannot cope

Sunday here, someday gone
Won’t even bother writing a Dear John…
Might stick around and watch his dawn
But he took me down like a baby fawn

He set the bar low but it is nonexistent
Perhaps it is there and I only missed it
If it’s a girl with missing panties, he will crawl persistent
If it’s an angel with a heartbeat, he will keep his distance

© Delia Ross. 2019


“Still looking for someone
Who was around
Barely coping
Now I hate myself
Wish I’d die” (-)

Polaroid

I want everybody to be you and when they’re not I’m destroyed
And that leaves me wondering what kind of blockage you’ve deployed
Because life is at a stop when it is life that I avoid
For every memory stored you are a mental polaroid

I don’t want this and I don’t want that
If it’s not you it’s not allowed to pass
This toll booth is closed, you must find another path
If the thought isn’t of you, I’m going to squash it flat

Now my heart is closed and nothings getting through
And all these other feelings have no revenue
Now my doctor claims skies aren’t the only thing that’s blue
Yet none of these pills kill my desires of you

© Delia Ross. 2019


OH MY EFFING GAWD right, so, Alexander Ebert is reading an entire book on the awesome app he created called Tuners (it’s kind of like Instagram or Facebook without the video or photos and is radio format for open communications about anything). I drop a wee bit of rhyme there, I’m shy. People freestyle. It’s awesome and FREE. Alex is about as unplugged as they come, he’s a genius and my muse. 🙂 He’s teaching me how to be human. Anyhoo, this book he’s reading called “The Untethered Soul” is teaching me some stuffs. Pretty amazing I enjoy still learning. So chapter 6 got me heated and I left some commentary on Tuners about it. But I also woke up and freestyle dropped this poem *giggles* cuz as of yesterday I was ready to pack it in and quit. Writing all together. And living too I think. Whatev. I’m emo. Sue me. Wouldn’t be the first time. “The grass was greener, the light was brighter, the taste was sweeter, with friends surrounding, the nights of wonder, forever and ever…” (and bonus points if you know that song). Oh, the poem is about that dude I like clearly (not Alex, duh). But how many of us do that; cling to something? A memory, a moment whether it is good or bad? And that actually prevents us from living in the now. Living in the now, allows life to flow and happen naturally. But when we cling to the past, or to a thought, we are blocking the energy of essentially everything else around us. And this is true so often, for so much. So to really appreciate life, we must strive to be in the now. ✌

Note to self: STOP CLINGING

P.S. I’ll update later with some links to Tuners.

P.S.S. And so the lesson is, stop clinging, live in the now, leave your heart open, allow energy to flow. And we decide this ourselves every moment of our lives. It’s up to you to live free. (Meditation helps to clean out negative energies, I use rock and stone).

Aligned

You’ll find you’ll hardly make it out alive
You’ll find you’ll hardly make it out in time
You’ll find him hidden inside my rhyme
You’ll find she’s rarely ever cross your mind
You’ll find you can see where you were blind
You’ll know where to find me if so inclined
You’ll find me in jail where my hearts been confined
Though uncoupled we are still aligned
Our souls in orbit just as designed
Cut the ropes to your past and leave all behind

© Delia Ross. 2019

Intro

It hurts more than my feelings
It hurts more than my pride
It hurts more than my ego
It hurts more than your lies

It cost more than your freedom
It cost more than my cries
It cost more than your window
It cost more of my time

I live in limbo
While you agonize
I see a hero
You’d never recognize

This is an intro
To a better life
The cost is zero
If you drop the guise

© Delia Ross. 2019

Netherworld

He’s coming down this road again
With offerings of despair
Wrapped in tears like acid rain
With prayers prayed in vain
Dragging love by a chain
His every action inhumane
His only prize is your pain
His only hope for you to disobey
So he can claim you another day
Purgatory is the way
He’ll keep you bound so you can’t stray
Fill you with doubt so you remain
Enclosed in darkness so you can’t escape
Never asleep but fully awake
Your soul weighed down from the ache
Your every step a mistake
It’ll wrap around you like a snake
Swallow you whole while you decay

© Delia Ross. 2019

DETAINED

OLD PHOTO, NEW POEM!

‘DETAINED’ by @poeeternal

He makes me want to sin
But it’d be heaven I contend
The way his words move under my skin
I’d fall for him again and again
I once made my amend
While feeling silence closing in
If only there were more moments to spend
Would he care the places I’ve been?

His silence tortures me
From a bird to a parolee
His energy is beastly
I’d stay in jail, be his detainee
Satisfaction is guaranteed
But there are obstacles to oversee
Invitations with no addressee
His heart is like an Oak tree

© Delia Ross. 2019