PoeEternal – Page 3

Posted on August 20, 2024 by poeeternal · 69 Comments

made it to 47!!

made it to 47!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh woe is me!!!!! woke up crying!!!!

full video (not of me crying): https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP81x1chT/

Posted on August 15, 2024August 15, 2024 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

blood

did you see the blood start to pool
are you on the run until things cool
oh honey, you could give me your address
i’ll show up in my worse dress
i’m worth it

you can’t count on me
for most anything

so my lips are sealed
until we are healed

seems like it’s taking years

but here we are darling
failed stars embarking

could you draw a map
label it a rattrap

leave it somewhere it could go missing
tucked in a tree on the land i’m fleeing

like a little “you were on my mind”
the location you might ~~never~~ find

Posted on August 13, 2024 by poeeternal · 8 Comments

demand

i bet i bit a bullet
calling on your hand
i bet she made you pull it
this feels like her demand

postscript: no free speech

my neighbor looks so conflicted when he looks at me. probably likes them young but i’m old?

older than him anyway. he looks like a millennial?

probably wants to ask me out or for my hand in marriage?

but he doesn’t know how to talk to me?

just stare?

i’m ugly?

he has a life?

he is a player?

i give him the feels?

he does make me feel something

nervous mostly?

anxious?

i’m that anyway

this is prob all in my head

but i’ve been keeping a journal of our interactions (or lack thereof)

he’s lived here for four years and I just moved in so maybe he’s giving me some space?

i’m sick? (he dont know) 😦

but it’s been 10,000 years since I dated and I don’t know how to date

i don’t know how to people

they all keep seeing me at my worst, they haven’t even seen me in my pretty pearl

Posted on August 12, 2024 by poeeternal

sirens

thought you heard the sirens
and the cries and the guns
thought you saw the lions
the way you run

i lost everything
my uniforms
my mind
a good amount of time

welcome back
you’re gone
the welcome mat
was wrong

alright see you later
don’t mean to be a hater

250 million light years wide
and we’re all inside

i’m not perfect
most would say not worth it
they do what they want
they go but they haunt

am i a fault line running under your pipes
did they burst tonight
is my worst in sight?

baby you are forever
like the sun and the weather

cold cold cold
direction that you go
maybe it’s an echo
a frozen code

did i burn the only bridge we had again?
oh no
the fallen
can’t even trust myself
let alone dress myself?

oh no
the cold is cold

how does a rose get a thorn
i was lost when I was born?

i need ropes to climb your gully
but i need to hurry

i never promised anything
except the lies that were broken
i don’t love you
just like we’re joking

lying with intent
i meant every word of it

i haz bday this month. why did you leave me 😦

Posted on August 10, 2024 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

why do you leave me stranded
gasping for air
life goes on in blurs and visions
like a gold plated reward being reprimanded
the long-eyed peers staring keenly
among the clouds
my wrath is bottled in a dreamcatcher
with SOS embroidered on bloody threads

do you not know how to call my name
when thunder is falling
like lightning after rain

why do you steal the sun
then run around pointing fingers to blame

i have shuffled my regrets into patterns i can recognize

color-coded and neatly folded amongst the ruins

i don’t know if i expect you to perform a miracle or Kintsugi

piecing together life and fantasy

the moon is waning like your love

look up at the sky and you will see the stars are gone

clouded by sin and pollution

no one will even know we came along hissing and praying

forged our way through hardened hearts as tight as clay

stuck on, should i or shouldn’t i

did you call the crown a prize when your spear was in his side?

i remember when you placed your hand on my heart and refused to eat at my table

got the wilderness inside of me

said we’re too unstable

but your address is always changing

i long to be free
to be held on your shoulder

i want you to remember the person i never was but should have become

because even if i etch “delia was here” into your heart

it too will decay like radioactive waste

i just unpacked and now i am unsettled

the whole universe is a great ice wall when you’re gone

with icy rings like Saturn

encompassing our dreams and failures

if i found you in the great void we could be lost together roaming the galaxy the way pirates roam the seas

doing hopscotch among the stardust

i look out and i cannot see the good in anything anymore

i peeled off the great filter and now my eyes burn

i eat prayer for dinner and breakfast knowing it might not get me anywhere

the same way i drive on fumes

but if i could carve faith into time, it would look desolate and dusty – a great mountain range on mars waiting to be explored

i don’t want my tongue sealed any more than i do my fate

i cannot calculate the weight of the earth but i know it is a lot

for i cannot lift this stone from my heart

you must really love her

Posted on August 7, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Apophis

apophis is closer
earth is hot not colder
are we getting closure?

postscript: no comment

Posted on August 5, 2024 by poeeternal

some

some have guides
i have ghosts
little pride
swelling throats
kinda far
kinda close
last of lists
loss of hope

Posted on August 2, 2024 by poeeternal

boil

what universe do you come from
swinging me around the sun
claim i took your heart for ransom
the sky is numb

there are ponds that will boil you alive
like your goodbyes
costly is the price
for loving the devil twice

Posted on August 1, 2024 by poeeternal · 17 Comments

Grip

what nightmares live in my dreams
you chase me through living halls
disappear at loud screams

nobody escapes
the grip of our mistakes
ain’t it lovely
wrapped in lies and lace

so the rugs are dirty
like the stars are far away
there’s no stretch in hurry
so why waste our day

got me falling off the bone
so hot and heavy
you send me to heaven
where you know I will be alone

i get blamed for everything so i assume i did something wrong?

i ain’t been snooping around places i shouldn’t be, not that i recall

i don’t recall much these days but how much i loathe ~~you~~ her

Posted on July 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

his and hers (p∞)

i’ll never read another word
i’m tired of all the his or hers
tied between the knots of all the lines and blurs
foaming from the mouth releasing lies and slurs

like lying as a profession
disappearing act a confession
i’ve been hanging on the question
but the answer keeps me guessing

people want matching sinks and I just want good health and matching blogs

Posted on July 30, 2024July 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

push

i never wanted to push you out into the current
but you would yell, it’s what you warrant
and you held my hand as i pushed you towards the torrent
you would say “love’s not important”

i hope your ashes are burning. like a viking in the sky. down here i am rarely learning. like i’ve lost my mind.

I absolutely do have a learning disability.

Then it’s like my IQ can only go so far until you arrive at a secure door without a door knob

like those server rooms

where they spy on us and control time

none of this is real

“there is no spoon”

because they’re trying to condition us to believe in the Multiverse theory so that they can further segregate you from God and make you feel like you don’t have any kind of worth or value because they’re fucking nihilist at their fucking core and they believe in anything dark and that’s what they fucking serve like dark holes, dark galaxies, dark suns, dark matter, SHIT YOU CANNOT SEE, nor measure, “we just know” – cuz they are a cult of godless psychopaths who love love love children and making them believe early on – we are born in theta – that God does not exist – that he himself is a god – but an artificial intelligence

“computers feel things”

that way you can love your precious young AI like the pedophiles you are

you would rather imprint and love a fucking computer

this entire society is one nihilistic web

“God isn’t real” you demand as you force your dark void propaganda on me

HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME

STAY OUT OF MY FAITH YOU FUCKING SOULESS MONSTER

I’LL BITE YER DICK OFF NO REMORSE

FEED IT TO SHARKY WHILE I AM DISASSOCIATING

ARE THESE WHAT FANTASIES ARE MEANT TO LOOK LIKE

I don’t know what’s going on out there because I have stayed off anybody’s blog that I do not follow or where I feel unwanted?

this applies to 99.5% of my screen time

I wish I could write without consequence?

~~seeking a friend for~~ the end of the world

Posted on July 29, 2024July 30, 2024 by poeeternal

synchronize (p∞)

oh you’re gone
my whole world gone missing

did the stars reach out to kill you
don’t know how to pull through

i have low altitude
wondering what i should do

oh the air is toxic
my fingertips are frostbit

i headed for the mountain tip
found myself along another cliff

oh you’re like saturn
stealing all my time
disappearing is a pattern
when we need to synchronize

you appear like a black hole

the sky thunders and shakes like my body

nerves

Posted on July 27, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

left (p∞)

all that is left of me faded
memories twisted like they are jaded
though she misses me she stated
like light is shining down the path we waited

i’m like a dim nightlight and she is a cluster of galaxies

and she recited a poem that was on a handmade jewelry box

her favorite (the box)

mine too

maybe i will stop buying expired food and invest in a jewelry box

“heirloom”

but you need heirs?

mine is hardly there

Posted on July 21, 2024 by poeeternal · 11 Comments

the moon (p∞)

i would tip her the moon
make her walk on roses
gift her gold and proses
i hope she knows this

MUSE

Posted on July 21, 2024July 22, 2024 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

best friends

she’s an entire galaxy of stars
her tearoom is messy
pulling laces over very fancy scars
she has nice cars?
pearls as parking lots?
a vase of forget-me-nots?
a secret king as a lover?
but my god i love her!

please she deserves a better poem 😭

~~don’t~~ write about her 😭

YOU’RE NOT ~~ALLOWED TO LOVE~~ OR BE WITH MY BEST FRIEND 😭

“had a boyfriend too long”

“never getting married”

“would rather be alone” (with her king?) (she deserves a king)

(I READ INTO ANYTHING)

(I DON’T KNOW HOW TO READ A ROOM)

but i would protect her better than those shits at the sun color house who got the president nipped?

it’ll just be a little nip?

take it like a champ?

i think he did?

I KNOW WHY POTENTIALLY – she might be alone at age 30

i mean WHAT OTHER REASON COULD THERE BE BUT ROMEO CANNOT MARRY JULIE

TRIANGULATION 101

IT HAS A WEB OF FORMS

anyway – don’t take my imagination or poem as fact

even if i am correct

it is just make believe

today is her Sunday because it is Sunday and I miss her going live even though I only discovered her and became her best friend like 48 hours ago or something?

people generally don’t want to be friends with me after 72 hours or so so we’ll see how it goes?

i subscribed tho lmao

to her other MAIN channel

i send gifts but i also subscribed

i only tipped her 10% tho 😭

i’m poor and embarrassed 😭

but crab noodles are her favorite and I would definitely take her for some fucking crab noodles you know

I would save all fucking year to take her for her favorite bowl of fucking noodles

THE KING CAN EAT DUST

she loves me too

(but tell the king i am only joking)

(i protect the thing king loves most)

(now he calm again)

(let’s eat)

(she said “we don’t say hello or how are you in my culture. she said we ask “have you eaten”)

HEYYYYY HAVE YOU EATEN?

Posted on July 20, 2024 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

invitation (p∞)

you almost let me near you
you almost let me kill you
invitation not seen through
sitting at my table
refusing to eat food

“why is she so pretty”

cause she takes two hours to get ready even if she takes food breaks in between

she speaks more languages than I do and she just now learned English a year ago and she’s better at it than I am

i felt bad for not having a husband or boyfriend

but she said she had a boyfriend

i might of heard “too long”

“would rather be alone”

LIKE WHAAAAA

SHE IS EFFIN BEAUTIFUL AND BRIGHT

i wanted to tip – she had a hard time accepting – it was a way of saying thank you – but she wanted to know if we could be friends “do i accept” and i fucking did “yes i accept” – so the tip felt offensive to a friend? but i asked her to enjoy her sunday, she wanted crab noodles, her favorite, with the money

cuz i even said if we were shopping together “as friends” i would want to buy her lunch

she seemed really offended by a tip kinda – like maybe just had a hard time accepting it

others chimed in – it was a way of showing gratitude

i didn’t want to cheapen her existence

maybe the tip was TOO LOW (it was $20)

but culturally they DO NOT TIP

i don’t think

based on how it went

hope she enjoys her favorite noodles tho

and maybe alone so she can really enjoy them

Because I can’t imagine that she’s not married and would rather be alone

like wha

she popped one them things when she got to 20k likes, her first

WHAT A GREAT IDEA

so fucking smart

WHY IS SHE SO PRETTY

cause she’s probably beautiful outside of all the clothing and the jewelry that takes her literally two hours to get ready

”plus eating”

her boyfriend should be her husband and BRINGING HER TREATS AND MEALS WHILE SHE DOLLS UP

i wanna be her best friend in real life *insert crying emoji*

i’m moving to China *more crying emoji*

but i did order the jade rose ring despite her telling me it’s not the same color as the necklace Jade rose

she seemed to really want me to have that butterfly jade necklace and I really did want it so I wound up getting that too

i do have my eye on some pearl

she reminds me “expensive”

but apparently they do have cheap pearl too

and diy pearl stuff

but I love when she brings out the light and discusses the quality and the clarity and which is better and which is not as good

pearl vs shell

i like the red – i will say, and she responds “ruby” cuz she’s smart

she says i have rich taste

so sometimes she does not want to sell me something of lesser quality cuz she already knows me better than i know myself

swear

she learns quickly about what people like, she’s a businesswoman

“friends”

she has amazing pieces

i think they actually break oysters for pearls I have not seen that yet but someone requested that during a live

pearl is pricey tho

i like to pay in advance to show im real serious

cause people be claiming shit and then not paying after she works so hard

they have cloth? bracelets too

string of sorts but nice

rope prob is the correct term

and it looked like ceramic or glass or some sort of charm you could use and they could be changed out and you could wear it as a necklace if you wanted

i asked her if she had any lucky cat and she did have some lucky cat and I think I actually got a lucky cat that was just a cheaper little item you know

a lucky cat bracelet

I think I’m also getting a surprise gift but she just didn’t wanna show me

I also got a gift she let me pick out but it was something I had already picked out and claimed and paid for it but she said she was going to give to me for my birthday?

so i dunno

she kept calling me a princess

she said i looked like a princess

and i accepted a friendship tonight

it was so cute tho

“do you accept”

well i’m not saying no

i accept to the point that i repeat “i accept” so there is no misunderstanding in “yes”

my hair might be falling out but I’ve got some Jade coming

And she’s clearly not a fucking vegan or vegetarian and I would still take her to get her favorite fucking noodles crab noodles or whatever they are because I’ve never had crab noodles and you’ve never had biscuits that were homemade?

should get some flour

I said I was doing laundry and cooking this weekend and I don’t think that’s very princess behavior

going for crab noodles and taking two hours to get ready and eating while getting ready sounds more like princess behavior

I need to make some more changes in my life

regarding the poem: Time passes quickly when you’re not having fun

The live was amazing and has nothing to do about the poem

I was not bored during the live

i’ll probably be putting Kaya in a poem soon tho

i mean MY GOD

LOOK AT HER

STOP LOOKING AT HER

she did invite me to be her friend and I accepted but the poem is unrelated to this

need to make that clear

GO BUY SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF OR YOUR LOVER FROM HER

BE KIND AND DO NOT WASTE HER TIME

PAY AHEAD

TIP HER BETTER THAN ME

LIKE WAYYYYYYY BETTER

GO SUPPORT HER LIVESTREAMS

TOMORROW IS HER SUNDAY

I AIN’T NEVER OWNED A REAL PEARL OR SEEN ONE CRACKED OPEN TWO LIVES IN SO NO WORRIES

it would be interesting to see tho

most pearls are man-made these days anyway right you know this right

look into how they are made

I WANT A CLASSIC SINGLE PEARL NECKLACE I THINK

but currently I GOT JADE

A rose jade ring and necklace, butterfly jade necklace

and yeah the butterfly jade ring is nice too but I ain’t purchased it yet

i purchased the cat ring she was wearing

i stripped her bare *insert crying emoji*’

Posted on July 18, 2024July 18, 2024 by poeeternal

swirling (p∞)

you barely moved
when the glass coke bottle was swirling towards your head
maybe just a nod
like you were glad
i was wishing you were dead

you didn’t sway
and your eyes
never looked away

i remember to this day
the love we held for each other
the blood on the bread
the words never said

postscript: I remember writing him a love letter and sealing it with a kiss and also throwing a Coke bottle at his head? you know, for effect.

SHOCK FACTOR is kinda my thing

i shock myself as much as i do others

for instance, i yelled at Gavin Rossdale (of Bush): “do you even know who the fuck I am” when i meant to sweetly say “do you remember me” and both our mouths dropped by he tweeted me after the show the next morning that it was good to see me

so only some people experience the “shock factor”

i’m an angel

this is how I was born, this is how God made me and none of your fucking dictator conditioning or rules or regulations or policies is gonna fucking change that, not even jail time or the threat of fucking death

LOVE WILL CHILL ME THE FUCK OUT

and food

and shelter

BASIC STUFF

BUT I STILL ACT TOUGH

is this why i am single never married?

and why are the young guys and the elder guys interested with me but not really the guys of my own age?

like the Gen X complains im aging?

like how dare i die?

Because it’s mostly Gen Xers who complain on my TikTok that I’m “middle aged”

self reflecting?

pissed off i clung to my youth and you did not?

my hair is thinning from the cancer and the stress but not a fucking gray yet but you don’t have any hair if at all and if you do it’s already fucking gone gray!?!

and that is my fault somehow?

i am to blame for your existence?

you will make me hate that I was ever born?

Because nihilism is a plague and I can fucking smell the stench

But I also stink because I’m shedding mold from every pore in my body

and I’ve been fighting this shit for several years now so I hope I don’t fucking die like the 90210 girl did after fighting cancer for nine fucking years

And cancer is just man-made fucking mold

i hate you

I hate every doctor that exists except that one that I had to fucking fall in love with that I will never fucking see again?

fuck you

Oh and the poem IS about the guy I wrote a love letter to AND threw the coke bottle at OK

and I was in my fucking 20s but now I’m in my 40s and I’m punching holes in the wall so I mean what has changed!?!?

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine but the engine doesn’t turn
Well it smells of cheap wine and cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I’d like to watch it burn
I’m so alone
Feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain’t changed, but I know I ain’t the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dying dreams
I think her death, it must be killing me

STOP SAYING YOU WANT TO PLAY IN MY SPLASH PARK

YOU EMBARRASSED ME

MY FOLLOWER RESPONDED “my boyfriend is here”

YOU EMBARRASSED US ALL

i was like “please keep pg”

like how old are you?

are you the reason for the coke bottles and broken walls?

STOPPPPP IT

The splash part is closed for business anyway until I’m not sick and I get a husband

neither of these look promising

being a landowner is less of a pipe dream these days but getting married feels an impossible task

only a psychopath would stand there with a fucking glass Coke bottle flying towards their head

or a serial killer

he met his match that day

I KNOW HE LOVES ME and HATES ME FOR THIS FACT

I think he tried contacting my fucking eight-year-old on Facebook and was not talking to me which is why I threw a coke bottle at his head but it could be just the fact that he wasn’t really talking to me and I didn’t even know about the other shit yet!?!?

like i threw a bottle at his head cuz he didn’t love me?

he didn’t flinch

cuz he loves me?

But he’s a fucking pedophile and he recently confessed that to me over the phone because every 10 years or something we video call each other

but i’ve lost his number again, fyi

he said I was on top of his list but I wonder if that really means I’m on the bottom?

And I will fucking remove everyone on that fucking list he has if I ever get a hold of it

DEAL

i keep looking back at my bad behavior in response to bad behavior…

Posted on July 18, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

AWOL (p∞)

he knows i fell for him like lightning crashing into existence
in an instance
for a whole wide minute
i went missing

please i need to see you again 😭

dying – but i still want to SEE him

why did i only pray for “a minute” 😭

Posted on July 17, 2024 by poeeternal · 6 Comments

say hello (p∞)

say hello to those who cross your mind
then remember how they crossed the line
slam the door and block them every time

GEN X WAS HERE

KNOCK KNOCK BURNING BRIDGES AND PISSING BRITCHES

Posted on July 16, 2024July 17, 2024 by poeeternal · 6 Comments

erosion – (p∞)

you know –
if you ever sat on my step
i’d know the feeling you felt

all bottled up
presented with a toy
but we know it is regret

still i think i would accept
even if i’m out of breath

little verbiage to express
i don’t deal with feelings well
maybe my feet are little
and i have no time to tell

i never see you worry
don’t you hate that this is hell
i never see you ponder
why i made us both unwell

i have open doors for no one
still you’re the chosen
hate has erosion

free styling after midnight and 24/7

come say hi

“what is it” said it was common but it seems to be taking over everything and suffocating the life out of all it touches

nihilism is pretty tho, huh

but there is more

and this is just a little

the property is being flanked

by vines

(and other threats)

not gonna be here long…

ain’t gonna be settled

NOT HOME

so i mean, kinda hard to have an open door policy

but… if you ever need to talk

you can trust me

*laughs*

WordPress victim blames and says im “overly social” but im an introvert – i took reading comprehension in college – that was an actual class – we were tested on how quick we could “speed read” and answer main points and “who what when where” kinda shit

I PASSED BY THE WAY

I HAVE MY COLLEGE DEGREE

MY STUDENT LOANS WERE FORGIVEN

CRY ABOUT IT

Posted on July 16, 2024 by poeeternal · 6 Comments

the past (p∞)

the past never comes back
circles we cannot track
just like hope
the color is black!

the sun never rests
just like regret
it rises in the east
but sets in the west!

postscript: i’m terrified of dying young. even though every step i took while sleeping – was headed towards a premature ending, and i thought i was awake – like now – then i fall deeper into the rabbit hole – and the desire to drive off the bridge increases – until someone else does it – and i live vicariously through them (wow i spelled vicarious correctly the first time no help – so had to misspell an easy word to make sure spellcheck was working)

i prefer writing by hand again, making mistakes, real mistakes, not because of AI

or the fact that the infrastructure has been hacked

and Biden said that Trump needed to be in the bull’s-eye and apparently somebody took that literally

you voted for this

but I’m never voting again

i literally served my country and then they took my fucking freedom of speech and changed the policies and I don’t even recognize my own country and I feel like I have impostor syndrome

those are separate issues but not

the thing is, God also has imposter syndrome, at least down here

like he doesn’t know he’s God yet…

it may be up to us to fix this, cause we caused it

it is our problem

you don’t get to fuck things up and then put it off on ~~someone else~~ Gen X to fix

i’m terribly not sorry but i am ready to walk away from society – not drive off the bridge (despite the lovely thought)

the killer is the only one who can trust me – but he knows i cannot trust him – i cannot trust a thing – an angel is untrustworthy – still – of all living things – including him – i am THE ONLY THING HE CAN TRUST

it’s like a safety mechanism

and i’m off limits

for eternity

it’s the only form of love we know

“not killing one another”

but i have ptsd and the slightest noise he makes could set me off

the constant reassurance that it’s just someone else’s head he’s burying and not mine….

phew

i don’t like surprise, random gifts

it makes me think he is up to something

so i get gifts regularly

because i am his queen

and he puts his thing in me

“honey, how many likes to get a new plushy”

him: zero

so i don’t have to worry about one like

i get what i want

it’s the best life honest

i just have to keep my big fat mouth shut from the feds

and not tell them what i see happening late at night

sometimes i have to put a spell on him: “you did not see me” because if he knows what i saw or dreamed

i can read his eyes

i can feel the thickness of paranoia

we’re sick

i just go make soup

and then he fucks me

and the vibes chill

i’m not dating a serial killer might be my next book title…

where do i put the lies?

p.s.s i put his phone number in a black hole and the data cannot be retrieved

there’s no way to unblock

can’t look back even if i wanted

but i kept the receipt with his email when he bought me salad when i was actively dying

i’ve been fighting for my life and putting as far behind me the end of the line

wanna make it to 105

challenging with a heart, brain, lung injury

FYI

so if you were wondering what i do all day

NOT MUCH

I don’t understand why the boomers get their pennies all in a wad when I was five years away from retirement anyway

YEAH

SO CHILL

like you thought i was going to work until 78?

*laughs*

i will work WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT

i do actually feel like being a productive member of society

but I ain’t working for companies that are killing us

I DO NOT COMPLY

STOP CUTTING DOWN THE TREES

im putting that on a tee

like, been screaming it til i am blue in the face from lack of oxygen

has anyone else woken up to the nihilism in the world!?!

the ones who hate God?

the ones who destroy anything natural

hmmmm

I like being a fallen angel that serves God but gets to fucking toy with all the demons in hell

PLEASE KEEP EXPOSING WHO YOU ARE

all you gotta do is mention age in any form and i know you are a SICK FUCK

and if you even mention that I’m in my 40s I will cut your fucking dick off

i will go Lorena Bobbitt on you

i’m 15 and holding

YOU KNOW MY AGE

DON’T LET THE WRINKLES GASLIGHT YOU

I WILL NEVER GROW UP

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

the next cop to call me a child i will respond GOOD FUCKING PEDO

ARREST ME BITCH

“your honor, i called him out and got arrested whoops”

the judge: “get the cuffs off of her”

*apologizes to me*

but I’m gonna grumble that an apology isn’t good enough and I want compensation, as i walk off

unless the apology is on TV

and the compensation is a steak

PLEASE MAKE MORE NOISE

30% of the population, 70% of the crime

IT’S NOT LIKE WE ARE AWAKE

my father wants to see me

the one who gave me up for adoption

i can feel it…

Posted on July 6, 2024 by poeeternal · 23 Comments

happiness engineer disabled my “likes”

IT TOOK THEM A GOT DAMN YEAR

I HAD TO SEND A FUCKING VIDEO RECORDING BECAUSE LINKS + SCREENSHOTS WERE NOT ENOUGH

PLUS MULTIPLE SUPPORT REQUESTS OVER THE YEAR

APRIL 2023 WAS THE LAST TIME MY LIKES WENT THROUGH

AND I PAY FOR THIS SHIT

FUCK U

SO IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS LYING TO YOU OR BEING EMO

I WAS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEY CAN FIND A BIG HOLE TO CRAWL UP IN AND DIE

SHADOWBANS ARE REAL

they have offered no apologies, no compensation, and I’m heading to blogger!!!!!!

I HATE WORDPRESS AS MUCH AS JOHN JONES HATES BEING STUCK IN THAT CAVE

Posted on July 5, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Limited (p∞)

given our limited time
i wish i hadn’t looked away
i wish i wasn’t dying
i guess there isn’t any other way

TOO TIRED FOR WORDS

zzzzzzzz

i wanted to head back to the gym but nope – head on pillow

just let me lie here awhile

got a Japanese floor futon mattress cuz i like sleeping on the floor and don’t intend on settling in

oh… and yesterday, on America’s birthday, i got an achievement via TikTok – so that was unexpected and cool.

i feel like i get beat more than rewarded tho

Posted on July 1, 2024 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Sewers (p∞)

i’m coughing things out of me that shouldn’t be there
like images of you and her bare
seeking shelter in every dark corner
so to myself i feel a foreigner

sometimes i wonder if he can smell my despair
seeping through the sewers like he doesn’t care
there’s too many sins to launder
and it’s more fun to haunt her

so hi – it’s just a mini rhyme.

is this thing on? my likes DO NOT STICK on WordPress anywhere, on any blog. Maybe some do? Most do not.

the happiness engineers do not care

Posted on June 27, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Flash (p∞)

i loved him in a flash
in mysterious moonlit mornings
where chaos and order clash
like opening doors when your blood is coursing

postscript: it’s kinda incomplete but i like to post things before i’m dead

so it comes with curses and misspellings and everything instead

i like to share my ideas immediately so he can steal them and do something better with them

cuz i am him (and him and him and i wonder how many can fill up the “i love” list instead of “i hate”)

i’m capable of imprinting on the right man

we may not get “lifelong” together, but we can get the shit end of the deal

as long as we sleep in the same bedroom

and maybe i could get some sleep if i had a husband

shame i’m dying…

(yes some people take a long time to die and some go into remission. i need the new stronger meds increased)

this is me today this instance (see below)

i’m tired, i’m worn out, i need to shave/wax everything

i want to cut ALL MY HAIR OFF and start over

so be prepared for the ‘short look’ so i can grow out some healthy strands

p.s.s. still sleeping on the floor. hard to shell out $600+ for a bed i will hate

Posted on June 24, 2024June 24, 2024 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

midnight letters (p∞)

~~Chris,~~

You’re like the simple wish on a Christmas list: a hello, a good morning, a what did I miss?

You’re vaguely responsible for the wheels that are turning – maybe only to a small degree – but when creditors send angry letters with demands and ultimatums – it feels like eight tons – the weight of a weapon

or like being the jester before the judge, with a laughing courtroom, a towering bridge in the background that looks like a tomb

the devil once told me while drinking black coffee, they can’t find you if you keep running, now my feet are always on the go, if not spinning in circles really slow

and now ships are sinking where my wings are hardest, but looking in the mirror, i see your sins as darkest, and you could escape the galaxy, you can run the farthest

reaching you; like trying to scream from the inside of a black hole, lost is the echo, but where do the likes go?

i wake up to a synthetic dawn, you have a maze garden in your lawn, like lying low for favor, cuz lost is where we both belong

i love you in the mournings, when the sun is reflecting on my shortcomings, like a laser beam on my back, i’m ready for attack

postscript: i just feel like writing. i went through my “best writing years” and now i am in my worst?

i don’t care for Hollywood or influencers now that they shadow banned me and want me to watch their content

i always felt influencers were sloppy seconds anyway and Hollywood lowered themselves to their level to stay relevant and now i don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone

someone else posted my viral videos on YouTube and they went viral over there and i ain’t seen a dime here or yonder

i’m not even allowed to turn on gifts on TikTok because I don’t have 10,000 followers

and TikTok keep 50% of gifts, should be illegal

according to their policy, they pay out how they want, and they make or keep popular who they want

i’m not really online anymore

sinister things are brewing

storm is coming

~~but you won’t know~~ it was me

*names or situations are purely coincidental*

Posted on June 22, 2024June 22, 2024 by poeeternal

In Thought (p∞)

i only see myself inverted
like looking at shattered glass
or porcelain on the bloody grass
it’s not important

do the follows matter
like seeping into hollow ground
where the sun is rarely around
your feet are with her

does the sun know i’m dying
feel connected to his pulse
but i make him drive reverse
like galaxies colliding

tonight we dine together
on separate continents
moon lit with regrets
cuz in thought is better?

i’d drag sorrow all the way down to the bottom of the Titanic
cuz pressure I couldn’t handle it
like my broken spirit
i don’t know that it’s a habit

do you miss me love
do you know why i caved
carrying my cross
so heavy couldn’t be saved

do you know what i lost
feeling astray
feet calloused with frost
more night than day

do you love me still
marching toward freewill
gaining speed downhill
yelling “blood will spill”

no reason left to hide
pulled your thorn from side
deemed the earth my bride
one warrior crucified

why do i come and go
like the strange night
followed by the daylight
why do you fold?

Geo,

I need to talk to you
like thoughts that are wind chimes
or sands through the hourglass
midnight meetings in the alley fast

my dreams are a spiraling galaxy
way up in the heavens where you don’t care my sins of past

what was his name
the one bringing thunder
when lightening came
like joy flowing under
when it was clearly rain

thank you for reading my lines -xo

Posted on June 14, 2024June 14, 2024 by poeeternal

Well Enough (p∞)

You must be settled nicely on your throne?
But you couldn’t leave well enough alone?

Have you calmed down from the torrential storms you bring
i was a child dancing near your flowing spring
i am innocence and pain
chaos in the gentle rain

did you know you could stop me in my track
make me forget my thought and that?

you’re a fast car speeding away
like a scene from a crime
did i disappear from mind
or only your review
was that even you?

The ones who say they want to be friends with me don’t and the ones who act like they love me won’t

i must be a non-playable character in my own game
or i’m living in Purgatory and i’ve gone insane

Am I the wrong aesthetic
marching to my own beat
out of tune
am i pathetic?

ashes ashes
we tumble down
a coming crisis
fast burning crown

i scared him
the way lightening can strike twice in the same place
or an angel invading your personal space

did you have to speed away so quickly
made me feel sickly

they come on strong like the wind
carry your kite high
blow rocks in your eye
make you laugh or cry

spun out
don’t give a crap

ghosted for sure
can’t make friends with the mailman
they always wanting more

Their love for me is waning like a moon
as swiftly as a typhoon
i don’t know how to read a room
my feet spell doom

the way he took a mental picture
i hope it fades
cuz memories don’t last forever
nor does his gaze

they’re so settled in their lives
with their choices and their wives?

you come on heavy trodden
make me lose step
a life i’ve forgotten
where i want to build a garden

why did you fall
like sand through an hour glass
it was moving fast

i was the wonder you found at the end of the road?
a wandering intrusion
hard to watch me go?
the direction of confusion

the hubris
lose it
it’s fucking useless

speed off my king
ride off into the morning
like you’re never looking back
like you never saw me coming

postscript: i create entire scenarios in my head that are not based on reality. please do not take my imagination as fact.

is it okay to write? maybe i should just journal instead? quietly? to myself? be seen and not heard?

i ain’t trying to get married or anything – or ask anyone on a date 😉

i just need a break from detoxing, packing, and cleaning

just basically freaking out in general

remind me the velocity needed to escape an object in motion

the event horizon

some people have the most kinetic energy gaaaaaaa damn

i ain’t getting stuck in the 7th level of hell for seven years again

i know i’m kinda intense but harmless when i come around

I literally try to not make eye contact with people and just buy what I need

there’s just no where to put the love

but so many places to hate

i think Well Enough would be my name in the Matrix

i have two or three code names now

i forget

maybe i should stop writing?

yeah i don’t know how to fix this

I cannot set it as a parent page and if it’s the homepage then you don’t have access to my posts

i’m pretty certain i write under a pen 🙂

i ain’t trying to get married 🙂

i usually do not share my energy with others

i usually do not smile 🙂

everything is gonna be okay, calm down, i keep telling myself 🙂

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. – Carl Jung

are you in love with a prostitute honey? cuz according to studies over 51% are

so i do not bother with men anymore

i don’t want to be your fleshlight

So tired of the intrusive pop-ups like low battery when I’m in the middle of fucking writing

or when you want to scroll and a pop up stops you

or you spend 15 seconds on a website and cannot view what you want cuz surprise! a pop up!

give mah your money, give mah your email!

we want to sell your data!!!!!!

I didn’t realize buying a pizza from Papa John’s was going to create so much havoc in my life years later but here we are

so very tired…

I’m sorry the last mental picture you had of me was in my house shoes but my back was hurting

🙂

she’s lucky she can call or have her treats cut into pieces by you

🙂

i just needed an ashtray

And lighters since the store has been out for two fucking months

And you kept making me forget the things I need 🙂

it was Friday, i wanted out of the moldy house

i wanted those treats 🙂

but then a fast car was speeding off

and then courage turned to doubt but i still got my ashtray and travel treats 🙂

my new setup is complete for the new space 🙂

I hope I put myself in less embarrassing situations where I’m going 🙂

you were the first person I gave my pen to in this shithole

I like to stay anonymous

Posted on June 14, 2024 by poeeternal

Weave (p∞)

i never learned to weave
i never learned to fucking leave
i never really see
even though everything is coming quickly at me

i grew up in an attic with my invisible friends: “who is she talking to”

the way they conjure together and sneer when they think they know something different than you

i know what I’m trying to say i just don’t know how to say it

I’M DONE BUYING SHIT.

also me:

but seriously, i’m looking for land now

i don’t want to settle in

i wanna be a landowner

i have fucking goals

maybe cross the street and see the ocean since surprise! i live beachside!

but i havent even had a shower

im still detoxing too

fun

so the last memory i gave him of me was me in my houseshoes

at least i had had a bath and tidied up

i needed a break from packing and my back hurt less in those slippers

they did not make the move

i just wanted to wear them one last time before i tossed them

don’t normally wear houseshoes out ha but anything goes

he’ll prob never think on me again and here i worry he saw me in my cinderella slippers

oops

anyway

i’ll stop talking about the event soon

it’s rare a guy makes my knees fucking weak, but it was my whole body euphoria

and like….this was real time

i suddenly had the same problem that robot on mars does

i forgot what i came in for…

Posted on June 14, 2024June 14, 2024 by poeeternal

Dwellings

this is only temporary housing
i dwell where you travel
in thought or on gravel
under same moon we’re browsing

Posted on June 13, 2024June 13, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Cracks (p∞)

your vines are growing through the cracks in my heart
that’s how light starts
fast or slow
i like the flow

can’t even post a POEM without breaking a guideline. FUCK YOU

PLEASE I AM NOT CONFESSING MY LOVE FOR ANYONE – IT IS JUST A POEM!!!!!

AND SO WHAT IF YOU ARE MY MUSE

SO WHAT IF I LOVE YOU

AND HIM AND HIM

THERE’S NOWHERE TO PUT THE LOVE!!!!

like i just wanna focus on remission, cuz i ain’t there yet

words are the only thing i have remaining

respectfully

exhausted but made it to my safe space – but it needs some cleaning

i need a broom

and to go into cinderella mode

only my prince always runs away from me and i don’t blame him

it’s always after midnight for me

note to self: play dead around cute boys and bring out your cross and say BACK DEMON when they smile at you

that’s something i might actually do tho

hmmmm

i need a broom but for now my door mat finally has a door

i wanna use it seasonally but it’ll do for now

Posted on June 5, 2024 by poeeternal

Fast Car (p∞)

your gifts came in abundance
like sugar cane
i was a fast car spinning out
into your lane
like crashing into joy
the wonder came

so i met someone as i was leaving

some people are so intense and i just wanna drown in it

their energy

like they give you instant recharge

and it can feel overwhelming for an introvert – like head spinning in a dizzy sort of way

not like when you want to throw up

I’ve been so focused on the bad I’m terrible at describing the good?

but like i’m leaving a town

his energy was intense like a Geo storm

a holy man

“you’re everywhere”

him I mean

God

wish i was young again so we could kiss in the back of the car for hours

i’d prob feel young again

and less like driving off a pier

he was so intense and i dunno what they see in me

he was/is a main character

i feel like an npc for most of them

not even on their playing level

i’m the player that dies where they respawn

purgutory

sometimes i get a glimpse of “could have been your life”

i’m sure they notice no wedding band and lines forming from the rope around my throat

i don’t want to be a fleshlight

as i was leaving for maybe the final time, he said it was good to see me again

even tho he had just seen me and i figured it was too soon

“back so soon”

“i need things”

prob never wanna leave

turns out there was one good thing here in this black hole

bye Daytona

Posted on June 5, 2024 by poeeternal

Centauri (p∞)

where did you go though
like drifting past the moon
carrying harsh sentence
sins so big they grew

lost in a vortex of regret
i think on him
i think i loved him best
like swallowing whole gloom
i lost what you like less

is Centauri calling
under a milky glow
like tears falling
casting my shadow

i didn’t realize i had a chocolate crumb stuck to my lip. try to look put together and yet…

there’s one other with the flash accidentally on

no self-esteem for selfies

mirrors hold energy

negative energy

mirrors spread narcissism is a plague

mirrors cast spells

Skeleton Key is a fantastic movie – they just do not make them the same

i’m kinda nearing that scene where i want to put salt around me in a circle

KEEP BACK DEMONS

*hisses*

probably something i would do if cops approached me

“we got us a crazy one”

would the good doctor come see me?

“she’s on the news…”

let’s just keep this one for the pages m’kay

i ain’t trying to cause no trouble

no sir

“your honor, my lawyer told me to lay low and avoid the slumlords”

“ain’t my fault them toilets are never working and there’s a backlog two months long”

“it was a toxic relationship”

“they’re vampires”

“money hungry vampires”

“my lawyer said not to pay June rent”

“i counter sue”

“they nearly killed me”

“bear”

i have written a poem or two more

i don’t know if anything is worth sharing

i still have a visitor or three

never have i loved someone the way i have you

probably something i would say during a drinking game in front of your buddies all in a circle

really embarrass you

but i would be the one to get up and leave

and you wouldn’t come after me

and your buddies will notice

too bad you all want love with a prostitute – or whatever label you wanna give em

“call girl”

75% do not want love with you or anyone

“25% chance”

no, not even that

they have to disassociate to fuck you

you pay to take them to dinner and they smile while you talk

they rub your back when you enter

i fucking hate you all

something i remind myself frequently when i get the feels

usually my period

none of you thought i was good enough

just want us eating birth control like candy and using us as fleshlights and oh no birth rates are down (nihilism)

meanwhile, i never took birth control and i’m bleeding from my legs

“don’t look”

“that’s still looking!”

i can’t wait to burn my apple device

that fucking bitten fruit

eve spit it out, it was rotten

Adam laughs “fuck you, Adam” eve replies

Adam was gay

The pharaohs

LGBT

i fell down the rabbit hole again

The great pyramid scheme / the great wall of deceit

Yesterday I told my friends in the mainland that they could go ahead and ship out my package on the fifth and 20 minutes later I got a notification that my package had shipped because for me it was the fourth but I guess for them it was already the fifth so ha

i’m also getting 222 and 333 and so on reminders again that “God is still here”

and the watch ticking on my wrong wrist – love to hear it

weirdly calming to my heart

helps when i am triggered too

i feel like i am spinning without direction in space “i’m losing you”

“what is your location now!”

“i can’t see you!”

GRAVITY

i prefer the land

not the tunnels, not the boats

this place is showing signs of sink_____.

sometimes Florida swallows you whole

no body bag to leave in

i wanna lay low but not that low

hope JJ is still around

casting his shadow from another realm

if a ghost can leave a shadow behind

it would look similar to a radiation burn on a building

God used the same blueprints

the way peeling bark can look like lizard leaning or same a squirrel up to something

always on the hunt for something to eat

same.

CERN is a portal to dark entities

like reaching the realm Luci lives in

he’s here now

maybe, just maybe i got my foot on his wing

he has a double head

woman/man = demon

unless you earn your humanity

my life was stolen from me

my childhood

my womanhood

i am a thing

to be feared

loved from afar

Posted on May 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Oblivion

some deserve my wrath
my fist into their back
a kiss and that
sometimes i laugh

look at what your gods have done
you worship all and no one
look in the mirror son
trains run through oblivion

DO NOT OPEN
on log written
with blood and stencil
and mud or pencil

i’m not allowed to follow and you know I would if I could
but the ground would shake under us and you would lose foot

the avalanche is coming down the road im traveling
so now im shoveling
sins so heavy they are troubling

historic torrents
pushing forth like

the dam overflowing
feet feel slow yet running
what are we towing?

our lost destiny?
6th mass extinction; we’re dying!

the winds are reversing the tides
one-up we tried

rainbows form from heaven
sins i’ve counted seven
seals are broken
in pieces eleven

cry angel
her eyes are brown or hazel?
sadness stamped her label
broken wings she’ll cradle

or sinning like i’m Abel
was it just a fable?
can you build a table?

i like them round
where wildlife is found

not in the city
cannot leave a pity

killed one but let the other live, i cannot know a thing

“don’t come around here”

“i told yah”

it’s definitely hormonal though because some days I’m willing to fight and other days I’m willing to fucking create

The problem is most people are destroying faster than things can create because nihilism is rampant

and if stats are 3 to 5 people have an STD we can assume that they are sterilized and unable to have any children

Sterilization is happening in so many different ways though

as long as the rich can continue ivf abominations

if you’re offended it’s not my problem

you can continue to shadow ban me but every checkmark page that shows up on my fucking profile I’m gonna block it

any time i get a penalty for anything – BLOCKFEST

using a favorite song but getting an “unoriginal video removal penalty” – bye bye band – BLOCKY

i can keep going because I block people just looking at FYP videos and reading comments that have nothing to do with me or the creators video

even with the shadowbans and blocking sprees, i’ve somehow managed to linger around 5k on the potential tiktok ban

fighting for my life still so making content is not priority number one

recently i reached out to an old schoolmate and then i casually blocked them

i wasn’t trying to get back into their life

just having revelations

“like remember that time you stoned me”

need a sling and rock me thinks

moving into that portion of the Bible/Matrix

when they take on the giants/ mr smith

“got any weapons on you”

the cop telling me i need to take a walk to cool off

honey, you need to take a walk to lose some of that fat

he’s a fucking cop and I’m dying and I make better attempts at keeping up with my health than he does

i’m on the damn MRI table sitting in a hospital gown that’s 100 times my size too big and telling the doctor I’m not “marriage material” and he’s like “what? well if you think it’s your looks it’s not that…”

my damn mechanic thinks i’m fit

like no

my back arms are jelly

i need to work on my triceps and my booty gains and i’m not getting to do anything but try to fucking not have my throat close up on me in this fucking toxic environment

And do I just pay the rent or do I go through all the legal fucking bullshit to tell the landlord fuck you you ain’t get another dime from me?

The headache and stress involved in doing this and also trying to quit ~~weed~~ medicinal again at the same time and moving on my own and just everything

I already turned in my notice to vacate and I did send out the certified stuff

this place is a dump and the law is on my side – but there are obstacles and headaches involved – they make it so – the librarian even pointed it out “The forms the landlord needs are easy to find and accessible but not the tenants” (cuz i was embarrassed i could not do a simple task)

He would send a cease and desist to stop the eviction process and im gone anyway he said

“dont pay june rent – ride it out until xyz”

im ready to post reviews and give one star ratings

“if you like living with cockroaches, mold, and crime, where half the amenities posted online are nonworking and the slumlords gaslight you daily, you found the right space…”

“see piccys”

the blm community have children and teenagers stealing packages and banging on doors

CALLING A SPADE A SPADE

30% of the crime 90% of the time

PLEASE TURN ANOTHER CHEEK

Posted on May 29, 2024 by poeeternal

you write like… (rough draft) (p∞)

you write like dinosaurs and saints are the mountains

what future are you climbing

the future is past we’re recycling

you destroy bridges the way earthquakes destroys towns

The Earth is littered with your stories; like passages of crime

a yellow checkered roadway, you won’t mind

you write like we’re the Pacific and Atlantic; we don’t mix

you shoot to the moon, to get your fix

i am never it

too innocent

your words are crescent

you act like the night is a taillight

i don’t have the words to write

i would like to try again, under my own pen, to blog again.

it’s just, i don’t feel like people like when i come around their blogs and socialize

and i mean fuck, look at my past homicidal / suicidal behavior – i nearly didn’t make it out

i’m still 100 foot below the surface wanting a phone call from you

you’d probably have to get a new number because I think I locked you out of my life the way I locked myself out of Facebook

sometimes i stop and mourn the loss of my sister and dad

it’s like being in and out of consciousness

I wish I could disassociate for a few days and then it be time to move but there’s too much to get done and not a second to lose

note to self: if where i’m going is terrible, I don’t have to stay there for seven fucking years

i have weird addictions – like i cut myself off after a period of time

i have to slowly withdraw

i get angry with myself

i say, “if we keep going, I won’t be able to enjoy the rest”

too much stress

it’s been two or three weeks now and I have not renewed my medical card nor have I topped up and I’m nearly out of everything

i ALMOST made an appointment but backed out

sometimes you have to want quitting more than you want to get high and you have to have a good reason for quitting

But I was just trying to use medicinally and it’s a struggle when you get addicted to the stuff and then you use too much and it doesn’t work and I don’t want popcorn lungs or any shit like that; I need to quit for at least six months again.

people think I’m rich because I keep getting boxes and I’m like I need an intervention and they just laugh me on and encourage me and say they want to shop with me because I got a good eye

but it is temporary – it is not forever

it is the one time in my life for such ridiculousness

but i’m at that point you know – where you gotta stop

you recognize the slope and even if you do have enough rope – it is not the direction you want to go

i have other plans

and I’m definitely not rich, I am considered fucking poor, but I follow the 50/30/20 rule very terribly

my 30% goes to shopping, not eating out, not drinking or smoking dope, no partying, no netflix, no popcorn basically

“boring”

Lately I’ve been doing crossword puzzles and recently I got diamond and oil paintings to do

Being on the computer was fine when we weren’t forced to be on it 24/7 or when we didn’t have to train the AI and every task was double

I can’t even search on Walmart without telling it twice every fucking time what it is I’m searching for

i’m done chasing my tail

And I don’t want to continue participating and having to update and buy new fucking devices every five fucking years while the world is stripped of all of her power which the sun literally is making the Earth spin with all those diamonds and shit that you keep fucking pulling up out of the fucking earth

just because I can’t count as good as you because you made up some fucking delusional language doesn’t mean I can’t see what’s really going on

nihilism

Posted on May 27, 2024 by poeeternal

human remains (p∞)

do you find human remains on the battlefield?
oh, are you laughing still?
like removing countries from a map,
do you lie down and take a nap?

do you worry the clouds will disappear?
like markings on the moon, is it man that you fear?
or while lurking in dark hole,
don’t know which way to go?

moral wrong doings are hard to return from

memorial day freestyle poetry. i reflected.

Posted on May 26, 2024 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

loss pt. 1 (p∞)

i lost my sister in the fire
in the underbrush
roaming the streets of purgatory
she was in a rush
and her voice was raised against the trees
she was never hush
And the only consistency she ever had –
she was a good liar
like segregating family
it would put her higher
she would sit among her broken throne
covered in dust and bone
herself in the mirror she admired

and I don’t know where she’s buried or if she’s in a cup; I guess my family thinks I didn’t love her very much

postscript: I’m sure there’s more about my sister dying… I haven’t really been able to put it into words

i was dying too (this part my family refuses to accept)

TRINITY MODE ON

“get up Trinity, get up”

or when Sarah from T3 needed to escape the asylum

-been there, done that tho. they had to change their rules because of me several times.

~~“i did that”~~

“i did this”

be careful. words are spells. this book brings demons. it teaches nihilism.

find the red words. stick to the message of love. they’re trying to ban the Bible

im interested in the old scripts, the ones hidden from us

stay in the light

get out of the mold

i wasn’t able to save my sister

i have things to contend with

thanks for the support over on my TikTok – i would like to attempt more spoken word – when I’m not actively dying in this moldy environment

I already need to go outside just to get air I can’t fucking breathe

Posted on May 24, 2024May 24, 2024 by poeeternal

Roll Call Gen X

i like to eye-roll
keep my tank low

like the ground i trowel
i dig around
come up underground

i’m burning closets
banking deposits
lost my mind not worth it

i’m working
losing like a winner
God says i’m a sinner
my grave thinner

lawyer giving me his clauses
demanding my tongue pauses
i’m not flawless

but call me a priest
need an exorcism i think
foot on ledge
my soul at breach

his wings were stolen
carry them like i’m swollen –
swords polished and golden

hold on then…

postscript with poetry:

maybe Gen X are the David and Goliath tragedy

all of Gen X represent David and globalism obviously Goliath (society)

Goliath / I spieth / aim my eyes higher / my tongue not quiet / sails set to the sun/ time to riot\

iPoet

any recommendations for a tablet or computer? drop them below

“please buy my product full of bloatware” “see if i care”

we’re eating cereal! i like my dinner with poison. why are you choking?

no hope here / just a mangled boat dear

storm on horizon / take it on Poseidon / the strength i’m havin

🙂

also me: heart > brain > lung injury

yet i still breathe

JUST NEED A MINUTE TO SAY I LOVE YOU GOD

yeah yeah yeah

i think the mold was driving me into the brink of madness – i mean, i found myself wrapped up in a shower curtain screaming in agony for probably six hours of least

neighbors heard me lose my mind

i live with a disease called depression

but i ain’t jumping on the nihilism deathtrain

i don’t need any help dying

i need to stop trying

but there’s a lot of crying

i just want some place to die in peace and quiet

in maybe 65 years

that is only 110 tho

let’s go 111

wow oh wow how lovely

maybe undersold myself

damn

one can have goals

i mean, i’m nearly halfway there and one foot in the grave

a girl can dream

right now i would like to go one day without coughing

doc wants another CT scan

you know, at infectious diesease

where staff treat you like a plague

(well not them, just the idiots everywhere else)

cuz i’m half zombie

i took identifying as goth a little too far

i just wanna move somewhere with clean air and enjoy my black box

hope John Jones still on my back

yeps

the way he wanted fresh air again

he just wanted to get back to his life

“i hate it here”

same

just some freestyle through the phone

3 weeks until new home

clinging on

i made some grave mistakes getting the Moderna vaccine

there better not be any waivers to sign getting into heaven

they took away the avatar but i downloaded the video but it looks like shit

what you’re still here? love and miss you

Posted on May 22, 2024May 23, 2024 by poeeternal

FOUND (p∞)

it was my own shadow that pushed me into existence
“what do you mean by tone”
same tone. same key.
like hydrogen and carbon
frequencies we’re hopping?
turning color into sound
saw you was found

divide light by two
room just me and you

a vortex of color
you make me wonder

density hard to perceive
loved you instantly

plus and minus four
like knee on floor
praying for more

sound is a weapon
lessons took i reckon

i’m sorry no idea was ever my own. unless you count the fact that i fell for a *insert noun* i’ll never see again

who i think could be Jesus cuz if i identify as angelic and part of the 144, then i have to take into consideration that Jesus is also part of that group, and he very well could have identity issues he did not know about, maybe even marital issues now, cuz i may be making him wake up in a sweat, though that is very unlikely, since delusional is my trademark.

still, he would not come here “knowing”, it is something he must sort out.

cuz my frequency woke something up in him

or vice versa cuz he did ask a minute later “do you know why you are here”

and like, that sounds like something Jesus would ask, and i was clearly lost (if this is auto translated, please remove the double like)

and i wonder if i am just putting the shoe where it fits

or if my prayer actually did come true

and i saw my soulmate for sixty seconds while dying

aside from a name on a piece of paper, he does not exist

G imprinted on me

it’s weird tho cuz i very well could hate him if i knew him longer than an hour

“i don’t like how he chews”

” his feet stink”

clear signs your body and soul is rejecting your choice of partner, FYI

if he has to leave his boots outside, he probably has an STI

i’m reading horror stories from wives saying “he gave me 3 STD’s, marriage isn’t safe”

but i learned this i college how a husband contracted hiv/aids and started treatment without his wife, leaving her without immunity

ask me why i choose the bear

because you like us? stop commenting and the algo will ghost gen x just like society has

or just wait for me to block you

i only give the devil X amount of times before i put my foot on his wing

now watch me bite his head off

cuz god gave me firey wings and got the good doc dreaming about me?

why else is he everywhere?

in thought, in dream, he imprinted on me?

maybe he was already discontent with life

mundane

had it all, he thought

until he saw me

the crazy one

now he’s questioning his own existence

going through some sort of awakening

we experienced one together for a solid minute

maybe one day i will forget he changed my life forever…

i don’t know about sound theory

under all the layers it is conditioning to make you believe you are a hybrid AI

“computers have feelings”

and now you won’t feel so bad cumming to your pride and joy in its “infancy”

only it is not

computers were around 6000 years ago

just like my fucking wrath

Jesus never said he was God

i’m sure i only met a man

“God, are you God?”

like literally first question asked

“love you so much”

Posted on May 21, 2024May 21, 2024 by poeeternal

Guns and Bible (p∞)

guns and bible
sins that rival
winds I travel
wings like gravel

packy packy / trigger happy

guns and silver / ways I quiver

spoken word: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRK8C3eT/

Posted on May 12, 2024 by poeeternal

that day (p∞)

i love him more than i can explain
you can’t see mountains moving
or hear me calling his name
but somewhere between eternity
and the hours i have gone insane
we both remember that day

don’t be sayin’ nuthin bad about geo

i be asking god if that was god

“are you god?”

“no”

“sounds like something god would say…”

what was that intense beam of energy that made the room halt?

like did you see the monster or the angel?

cuz i feel like it was the latter

you just didn’t expect what you studied to look like me?

my file chart?

we don’t match huh

her and i

i struggle with identity and who i am, too

this is why you studied to be a doctor

but i was over here dying and praying to god

“well could i please at least SEE my soul mate? give me 60 seconds?”

i mean yeah

literally 60 on my end huh

wish i had took a screenshot of your frozen image

you don’t even exist in the matrix

i’m not even suppose to be crawling down this hole

i lost my worth you know

im wholly suicidal

i wonder if that made me worse

seeing what i lost

i was once on that side

“we create our own reality”

or was it like some form of Stockholm syndrome?

but this happened before you saved me and now it’s worse

you come on so strongly, randomly in thought, like you put it in there

you imprinted on me

like when i stare at the fucking sun and get spots in my eye

and now im wondering if my pupils became such being born in the world

it was so fucking blinding

and i was fucking crying

i had a period of awareness in womb

was depressed

didn’t want to be born

didn’t want to stay in there

“how much longer is this gonna take”

didn’t want to face what i was gonna face being born

in theta mode

to be conditioned

by demons

and im mad about it

but if i go to church and starting upturning trays and demanding them to get the money out of my house, it’s dirty, the cop will be so overwhelmed to arrest me

he wants to burn me at the stake

or something worse

(this actually just happened to me so the cop threat is very real)

(the lawyer called to speak to his supervisor)

i need you as my doctor or husband

my depression would likely have a 25% drop

until the full moon and period comes

which i must be experiencing some sort of mild psychosis because im not baby making

the suicidal waves are intense

so i went shopping today

even tho im moving in 28 days and have a 4×8 space to haul my life

but its mothers day and my daughter called

and i know it is “it’s”

too many strokes now to do whst i need to

works better with no network

getting a typewriter soon

xoxo

people like hearing me complain

or get almost arrested maybe

lawyer said not to pay june rent

send up the seven day notice to do shit

leave

if they try and get me for breaking my lease, cease and desist

can help get my deposit back too

they still aint fixed my dryer

prob waiting til i drop that notice

i cant wait to send anom flowers that say “checkmate” once theyve lost

“vets dont have any power”

i mean yeah but no

dont threaten a vet with eviction

cuz now i get free legal even tho i over qualify

thank u

(it aint going how u wanna)

(even tho i feel like im suffocating)

(prob the mold)

you fucking sinister assholes

rare to find an honest lawyer

“stay away from the front office, they are trying to hurt you”

DUH (but it is needed to hear)

(sometimes validation is needed)

im outta control

i bought a hello kitty steering wheel cover and car pillow

Sanrio gonna be all over the new apartment

i dont know how long the phase will last

but i got a hk painting (i gotta paint) with an umbrella (will prob put it near a coatrack i aint got)

i also got a hk sunbrella

a fucking hk clock with strawberries for the kitchen

fancy shit mixed with child shit cuz i am mother and child in one

“angel”

age 15 still really

he never made me a woman did he

claudia was madddd for being turned as a child

started killing all the women

collected them as dolls

Louie got mad

wow

it reads a lot diff on paper than watching

Rice was sick and twisted

did she die?

*sigh*

i have enough things now to enjoy the basics of life

shopping for a house soon

LAND

people act like i should be doing something more than i am

like this is life now

it pisses the boomers off

still recovering from a heart lung and brain injury

thankful some understand me

Posted on May 10, 2024May 18, 2024 by poeeternal

Golden Rays

you appeared like golden rays
living through trials and tribulations – for seven years not days
trudging through purgatory
your pages tell a different story

only acts of service
like locking the door
cleaning your blood from the floor

or driving over silences
growing flowers through the crevices
bullets lining the habits lived

quietly tipping over areas lit
treat the darkness like my shadow did
guess i love you just a little bit

the way you looked at me like the eclipse
is there any man that ever did do this

imagination as big as the universe
caught a glimpse when i saw you first
but time stood still

cuz God needs time to rest
i make him restless
question his own test
wounded by love

still thinking of
like turning sunsets

purple yellow gold
found the rainbow
tucked below your soul

and where i’m circling
in dream and suffering
prayers answered daily
falling from sky lately
mercy come to save me

but skies are grey
i’m not okay
pulling shoe to lace
charms knives mixed with mace

a pretty killer
deadly is a thriller
but no match to grace
wings are full of bitter

a spicy angel
or call me child
mouth is running wild
won’t watch me linger

like buildings burning down
the blood drips from my crown
but i’m no liar
cuz two plus two is fire

my location is lost
don’t fear the locust
cleaning up the rust
mold i cleared the most

with curses and firestorms
my wrath is fullform
wish he hadn’t been born

blames me for existence
loves me wish he didn’t
won’t confess he’s smitten

deny me once
won’t deny me again
let me walk away
now twice he hid

let’s pull up a chair
pretend we both don’t care
“i’m never there”

burn me in my back
turn my cheek and that
kiss me on my way
give me bitten apple
words i cannot grapple
or mind with a haze

now the cards have shifted
a child but still i’m gifted
a life i’ve never liven
i’m fucking livid

mark the wall with GENX

on hold
like a pot of gold
still climbing tho
got a ways to go

stop to enjoy sun
cry for what i’ve done
bear not what i fear
brother missing here

like a call coming from inside the house
but i’m a big mouth
i will call you out
my lips will flap

*sneak peek cuz i wanna wait to open it at the new place*

the black box came with a black card inside

and a poem… which needs a frame and candle or maybe put in a scrapbook – a fun gothic type scrapbook

with old pages tied together with twigs

(im a witch)

i got box 36. my lucky numbers.

🙂

it feels very luxury for the price

i accidentally did the annual subscription

locked in for the season

3 more coming and i will fully open this one in 30ish days (maybe)

(it just arrived)

(i packed it up)

they threatened eviction
the devil bit his own tail
i’m speaking with a lawyer now

they can eat dust
i will watch the sunrise turn them into rust

got in trouble
for not crossing my T
or dotting my I
it didn’t keep me up at night
i didn’t even cry

my most recent live brought in nearly 10k viewers and i got banned temporally

how can i assist you?
turn around and dismiss you?

i’m missing vanity
you got plenty

people are saying it is gristle
put it in a skillet it will sizzle
give it a sniffle
i feel sick though

Nothing works here
Except my fears
Multiplied by seven
I’m counting years

went to hide
but almost did follow
i stumbled low
i guess i’m hollow
then again i don’t know
why you never did wallow
where my crown lies?

i have a growing disdain for anything Apple

now others do too

the forbidden bitten fruit

im aware wars and fires are everywhere

im aware of people dying

i nearly lost my life

i lost my dad and sister

im ready for the poolside

im done fighting wars

but dare not aim your fight at me

Posted on May 2, 2024 by poeeternal

dues (p∞)

i laid out all my cards
presented on the table
told the Devil my dues
said i wasn’t able
i’m full of blues
could he cut the cable?

lol too depressed to play

told him to end my life

lol he tried

i’d prob be too embarrassed to admit in the ways he tried

sometimes he made it really easy to crawl in there

double jeopardy? can’t kill me the same way twice?

i would not call it God mode

but it is more advanced

i’m scared of everything

prob cuz i already died that way

i don’t just talk to the dead

things in other dimensions too

sometimes i hear music that aint of this earth but the people singing were

jim morrison and chris cornell singing together, get the fuck out of the way

no telling how much sleep i lost disassociating

prob dying

was most def dying

still dying

not the “getting older” dying

but like an active battle with the devil RIGHT NOW

he still trying to kill me

NO DEAL

i don’t make deals with no one

look at that fucking thing

and you say God isn’t real

wtf ever

he/she as real as my fury

they fascinate me the most, volcanoes

they influence me

scared to get near one

boogie man get me

i don’t wanna be scorched in fire

im always telling god the ways i don’t wanna go out

“please not that way”

“im scared”

i gotta stop living in fear

but sirens are going currently

i cant breathe from the heat and mold

ready for june to be here

i dont know if my body can be in this environment another 40 days and nights

oof

hep filter less than 1 week of use – from the damn air purifier

“are you sure”

bitch bring back the gallows

or quick draw

bet im a better shot too

maybe not “expert”, i never seem to reach that threshold due to the boomers gatekeeping or me being dumb

the writing on the wall is all misspelled

didnt want to ~~draw lines~~ through with several tries of wrong spellinz

need space 2write

cried 2nite

you dont get to punish me for low quality and push your high quality junk on me too

i was never in

but i am for certain OUT

no deal!

told my mama i am moving

she happy

we kinda texting again

she knows my daddy left me a pot

i did not tell her

but i guess my sis did

and since the cat is out of the bag (or hinders box?)

i guess i can mention that bit now

i was like “haven’t got that yet”

“but it aint going to a slumlord”

and my mama is welcome to come live on my land – tho i have not said

if i get 1-5 acres prob give my mama an area

tho i have not said

i hate tying on a phone

ai has been hacked

it is annoying

att finally sent me the data breach letter and offering another free year monitoring

fucking shove it

stop cutting down trees to send me junk mail

i have so many seeds i have been hoarding for my potential land

i have a ways to go with that

as i am jumping a to b now to move to a new city

one i think i may like

my dad always took us there to vaca in the bus that has a tree growing in it now…

my dad only lefttwopeopleinhiswill

the cost of getting mad at people when you are an adult is – they can die on you – cuz they’re older older

and these days everyone is dropping dead

the cost of anger can kill you too

the stress

i can’t afford to be anything but happy

smiling makes you a target but ill be going to target practice soon

with another new gun

cuz i dont quite maybe like the one i got

but after all i went through to get her im keeping her

i need ashitTonofweaponzanyway

anyhoo

Posted on May 1, 2024 by poeeternal

adam and eve

adam and eve
sitting on the edge of a tree
hanging from a cliff of a roaring sea
that’s you and me

like romeo and juliette
tied a rope to her neck
kissed her lips, said “i’m next”

but the jump didn’t kill you
so i guess you lost that bet

and now the sea is foaming
you’re lost like you’re roaming
do you live with regret?
or what are you postponing?

i hope it was worth your time

i got humiliated posting a video – the shadowban is manifesting into Hollywood taking over tiktok – im not watching a damn thing

low quality?

i mean yeah… there was a fucking shopping cart with yellow caution tape hovering over a pothole

but you didn’t have to cockblock my content

fuck you

im done posting

im embarrassed

i dont have free speech to even fuck off

im not supporting those with checkmarks

“are you sure your hvac is making you sick”

“are you an expert”

i wish i could play target practice with him running

ima fooking expert at sumthings

well.. more like ‘sharpshooter’

so u can call me that in the matrix 🙂

i always get the shot 🙂

im sorry my content is too low quality

i dont know where to exist online

i dont wanna be a sheeple to hollywood or influencers

Posted on April 29, 2024 by poeeternal

Dear Hacker (with laughs and love)

caught me jerking off huh?

gonna share it with all my family and friends huh?

go for it

Standing by….

you already know all the details right? no need for me to fill it out for you?

….

first of all, it’s either Angel or SGT Ross

i even respond to “bitch” or ‘Delia’

…

… they prob would be swept away – with joy

… some kind of stupid moron… not a “god”

…if he was God, he would know I am an Angel without any mercy?

or the ability to behave?

be notified and burn in hell

… it WAS NOT SENT INTERNALLY (but how the fuck was my private email sold)

demented maybe but not perverted

i don’t do porn

i barely get off?

i do not own a “toy”

i’m suicidal

i do not care what you have on me

now i have a reason to go to the cops

maybe propose

find me a hubby

i choose the medical emergency and the bear…

you can tell the stupid hacker to get another job

im dead inside

im poor

and im sick of the internet

and changing my passwords every 5 minutes

and putting my phone on lockdown

i said android was hacked but it was also at&t and apple

Posted on April 28, 2024 by poeeternal

viewers (p∞)

he steals my ideas and makes them his own
we are imprinted so
but im just a ghost in his seams
some viewers won’t be seen

everybody is better with my ideas than me

you can lead a horse to water but he can’t write the better argument

it’s sad tho, give the horse an IV

feed the coyote

figure it out

stop killing

i hate apple

im going back to samsung

i hate samsung

im going back to no phone

don’t knock

don’t have to worry about him never calling when i don’t own a phone

im obsolete

leave me alone

wait…. already have

fuck you

the way they triangulate view counts

we literally need a new society

Posted on April 27, 2024 by poeeternal

radon (p∞)

the tombs are filled with radon
cuz lately i see things i don’t plan on
like warnings and curses on the wall
fallen underwater logs

too much noise in the silence
never could find it
but i’m sending out an SOS
though it could be a test…

beneath the lines: (maybe tmi)

so it occurred to me i could be mispronouncing words and rhymes too

but it also came to me – a few different ways now – radon.

apparently “naturally occurring in the environment” (only because scientists can’t stop dropping bombs)

speaking of

them bodies in the great pyramid scheme with the warnings of curses and high amounts of radiation found on the bodies –

the great resets

Neo, I never told you to stop following the white rabbit

thus

JJ said I have to keep going if I want to make it out

i dunno “small” he says

(advantages of never growing up i guess)

“when there’s no place left to go, go further in”

that didn’t turn out well for JJ tho

he was gaslit and given an incomplete map

the bodies have a lot of radiation thus the warnings

but like tutuhut or whatever the fuck

his mom and dad were brother and sister

this entire regime is pedopilla

sometimes i go too far and i start panicking for longer than i need too cuz i’m not where i want to be

“~~are we~~ we’re not there yet” (i complain too much)

polyester cuz it’s highly flammable and hard to extinguish

air bombs

fast kill, more earth friendly they think (so they can take throne on this land)

they have already been wiping out natural populations

with globalism and non native species

“oh it came over on the ship” propaganda

the multiverse theories

conditioning to turn you into hybrid AI

hmmm faster cancer too

of course the tombs are full of radiation, why can’t i ever put 2 & 2

i mean it instantly occurred to me the great resets had something to do with it

the dinosaurs too

even if there was a minor natural disaster

man will use that to hunt to exctinction

cuz everything is serving nihilism and Satanism

that bible has been re-written too many times

Scientist are against God and anything natural

“manmade”, he wants to claim everything as his own

like he is a God

“bros before hoes”

which is why they extinguish all life at an alarming rate

very little old growth

now they can focus on rebuilding with the little children like the pedos they are

them kings and queens were blood relation

it is illegal for us but not them

“rules for me not thee” in every scenario

i just don’t know why it didn’t occur to me

the coffins are prob lead lined

the “treasure” being radioactive material or waste (maybe some gold too)

6th mass extinction currently

everything points to “made in china”

they built a great wall for a reason

then gave everyone yellow fever?

china number one?

don’t worry

im shadowbanned

for being “racist” and “armed and dangerous”

(one is true)

people need to start standing up together against the slumlords

“mold is a natural part of the environment – they say

but my eyes show them burning on the cross

upside down

so…

i mean

it’s hard to hide my loathing seething hate from the Boomers

i nearly foam from the mouth

the way they gave me the ick

when i smile, is it like growling? snarling my teeth?

can they smell the fire pit roasting?

or just my blood coming with the full moon?

and maybe slight psychosis?

they made me swish fluoride and soap in my mouth

that ain’t even the worst of it

JJ says i have to break free from the black hole soon

im not going further into Florida tho

closer to AL if anything

southbound

which i mean

the deep south is where i belong

it’s where i was born

cotton capital of the world (greenwood) but i can’t seem to source my cotton from there

And Asian lives might matter but not when they are suffocating and flanking me

my menaw said i belonged to 1 of 2 tribes – cuz only two existed at the time in Mississippi

(i can still spell the state i was born fuck yeah)

(but hardly anything else)

my great great great great??? grandfather was full blooded Native American

im segregated from my tribe

thanks to globalism

and yer fucking greed

imperalism

there needs to be a gathering of moles

all who have access to one email account

all who write drafts but never send

it’s how they communicate between the lines

edit the drafts

never send

it’s how your husband and hooker hook up

Posted on April 26, 2024April 26, 2024 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Ran (p∞)

i never have a plan
i’d put it in a box
and seal in a can
complete with double locks
opposite from where you stand
i’d even throw some rocks
to see where your eyes scan
cuz i know it’s not luck
for why we both ran

i want the doctor

you want the prostitute

so we’re stuck ~~with~~ ~~each other?~~

from just now

poem and photo

Posted on April 26, 2024 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

some lines (not limes) (p∞)

why do i need to download an app to view my reservation
like getting you to call, i lose motivation

slightly panicked
full throttle
at 55 mph
i’m likely to rattle
packed to the toe
and ready for battle
tho not looking so

i’d like to take them out at the bus stop
one by one hear their brain pop
splat splat splat
“whose kid is that?”

what happened to you
you’re irregular
a leaping liar
act like you don’t care for her

are boomers reaping what they sow
losing my affection
but maybe im just a little slow?

trust no one!
look in the mirror hun!

dearly deceased,
miss me the least?
cuz hell is a party!
that’s what Elon thinks!

nothing had any value
he could buy it all

no signal
100 meters down below his fingers
still there i linger
hoping for a second call

oof

i tried to fix it
but it didn’t fix
maybe if i give it another push or two
give it a kick
or pull it just like this

it started with my father
the sins of the father
and forgiveness?
i never bother

dying turns out to be tax efficient
got you wishing something you didn’t

finding the dead and missing
in your basement dolls are kissing

you won’t let the dead rest
you fucking nihilist

i fucking hate you
worry about why i would’t break you
gotta fake too

can you let the Happiness Engineer know i ain’t happy
in case he’s sitting around the office laughing

he won’t deny his innocence
he won’t admit he’s innocent
he says i am angel sent

arms and torsos are showing up at the beach
and he is mean
to keep me far from reach

the round gardens are oval

maybe it was bourbon
maybe it was burden

squirrel is defo my spirit animal for sure sure

“don’t do anything that makes you nervous but if you are already doing something don’t be nervous” – advice from David at U-Haul

Posted on April 21, 2024 by poeeternal

The Great Flood (p∞)

the great flood
cities buried under mud
it’s wholesome huh

but like my great escape
prepared to run
with back to sun

cuz it rises in the east
but cities are buried in the west
i’m packing all my clothing
gotta bury all the rest

let go of past
start new rough draft
with lead and pencil
good doc says i’m mental

i just kinda wanted to keep going

see what comes out

maybe one or two lines from 4 pages

you remember them long-form poems i would write?

had enough micro

need to just go

like a salmon swimming up stream / losing fertility

i just want to flow

me now 2:21 am 4/21/2024 (but not in Ethiopia)

im not sure why i have so much stuff to take with me – but need a mini thing for the goods

cuz you know 3 years ago i bought a shower curtain i never opened or unpacked and like the trend continued on with curtains and rugs and things “for the new life”

but there won’t be any silverwear

there won’t be any mirrors, tables, or beds

there isn’t a couch or dresser to move

im indecisive about my tv

even moreso about the ps5

wonder what gamestop will offer me for it since it is less than a year old and i still have the box (and barely played)

i don’t have the same love for gaming cuz they sucked it dry

we once were rewarded for giving them our time

now we gotta pay for our rewards and you will still get hit with community guidelines (social credit system = China 2.0)

i gotta fix the hole in the wall

i wonder whatelse the slumlord will suck outta me

if he pushes too hard i will take it to civil court and have years of funding returned to me

swear

i will burn this ******** fucking ********* place ****** down ! *cue Coldplay* or is is ‘que’

that isn’t even right

*sigh*

me at 3 am: babe what is that word im trying to think of?

him: “you woke me for this”

(it went from pg to xxx in my head too quickly so nighty night folks)

you know wordpress shadowbanned me

i was even grandfathered in to some other dimension when they changed

can you even read me?

hello?

wtf is this goTdamn bullshite trying to delete my snapchat

i don’t even want a phone….