Hey psssst… my hair is falling out. I guess I skipped the turning grey part and went straight for fallout?

Is radon really a natural part of the environment or are the walls talking to me?

What I mean is, remember that scene in the Matrix? The bathroom scene where she demanded a kiss.

Not a fake one because she asked, she even gave him a second try.

“Kiss me like you do her”

You see, I’ve never been loved

I never grew up

My hair didn’t grey

There’s just so little these days

From the stress or cancer

Not enough for 1 pigtail, let alone 2

All I have to do is breathe and I’ve lost a handful

Oh no

And I do wanna get to a salon and have them chop it before I do

(No promises)

I hold onto things for way too long

The rope dear

Purgatory exists cuz I was crying “but why can’t I have him up here”

And this was the solution?

A world between?

<fallen angel>

<free will>

<keys to an earth we can’t leave unless for dying>

Oh noes

“We’ve been to the Moon”!

Rightttt….

I’ll believe it when I see it

But it’s CGI

“Artist interpretation”

Zeroes and ones

Dots

Black and white

Turned into “ohhh ahhh” NASA is a lie

Then I learned they used a FILM MAKER to REHEARSE the MOON LANDINGS

They “lost” the manual on how to (rolls eyes)

AND….

The famous quote “ONE GIANT FUCKING LIE” was recorded on earth – cuz they had no phone lines or satellites to speak from earth to the moon

HAHA GOT ME!

I kept asking mom “who is in charge of what they are teaching in school” and this was as far back as 5th or 8th grade (prob kindergarten cuz everyone just fell in line and it bothered me so much I wrapped a string around my neck on the playground and tried to kill myself right there with everyone around and got in trouble for trying to off myself, being antisocial and weird, and was not allowed on the playground for TWO WEEKS after)

Fun embarrassing fact: they made me re-do kindergarten even tho I passed because I missed too many days due to my sister and even tho I begged to be moved up with my peers they refused: so I didn’t do classwork assigned or homework, I was protesting at the grand age of 10? I was so angry; “I ALREADY KNOW ALL OF THIS” and I dunno how they got me to do classwork. I disassociated. Until I met Michael Korn.

Michael and I sat next to each other (we were assigned) and even 6 months into 1st or 2nd grade (me being held back was always brought up due to my age and I hated LOATHED school) – we demanded to sit next to another when seats were re-assigned

Luckily she obliged (only us) cuz we both protested classwork?

Anyhoo: Michael and I invented a game: one would draw a road map while the other held a pencil and the other would “drive”

Generally the person driving was opposite the map inventor

They were just small road lines sometimes with snake shapes as curves

We always played after classwork was done (prob homework too)

One hold the paper and turns, the other holds the pencil

It was 2nd grade (I think)

(Which means I should have been already in third)

I really don’t remember the order

Just the bad event followed by deep dissociation (prob why I can’t remember the 2nd part of re-doing kindergarten or even 1st grade – not for being dumb)

Seeing all your peers move ahead while being FORCED to stay behind because your sister missed too many school days (so I also had to miss) but they didn’t even hold her back!!!!????

It’s a good thing she died cuz I’m feeling like a phone call

“Did you fucking re-do a grade or just me”

But like she died and now no more fights at all

Yeah it sucks

I do remember my mom and dad taking me to the skating rink to meet up with Michael to skate

We had skate nights (heart emoji)

Is he still alive?

He had blond hair and blue eyes

Dirty blonde I think

Them games helped me not get banned from the playground again

At least for that year cuz after he moved and I never saw him again

Like does he remember me?

Anyway, what I wanted to ask you was to make me believe I am pretty

Like we don’t even got to kiss…

Cuz all I see when I look in a mirror is a girl that has fallen behind

A girl that has fallen…

(A dirty mirror to be cleaned again eventually to be dirty again for me to say “how the fuck are we so messy that we can’t get the WHOLE HOUSE spotless together at one time”)

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I just havent mastered brushing my teeth or cooking without spills

A dirty mirror means a clean mouth (raised eyebrow emoji)

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P.SS. Mistletoe is a parasitic plant

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