Somebody told me
That you had a girlfriend
That looked like an elephant
I think I’m smaller than 111 now cuz my extra small have become loose
I’m growing thinner
Maybe a bit meaner
I’m sick of being single
I’m done communicating with other bloggers
I enjoy stuff y’all write
But anytime I open my mouth and leave a comment
Everyone else will get a “really appreciate your comment” and mine DO NOT
Sometimes additional comments aren’t allowed
I responded “mirrors cause a negative self image”
I found this extremely fascinating to learn
They did not
I’m done trying to be social
No one understands me
But the two monsters who do but only leave me breadcrumbs
I’m literally trembling writing this
I wasn’t being rude
I enjoyed his poem
I’m not allowed to respond with the way it moves me or gets me thinking about the topic
My problem is I “add to”
THAT but also…
I’m done socializing on other peoples blog
It only makes me cry
The additional comment he wouldn’t allow through and deleted
I explained how they hold negative energies and should not be placed near a bed
(I’m kinda a good witch and into energies – Tesla and Einstein was into manipulating energy too, hear hear)
Tesla said once you master it…
Who said, “know thyself”
Plato? The one with an A?
I guess my comments weren’t appreciated or even wanted
Should have just commented, “yeah man mirrors suck”
But it probably wouldn’t get a like either
Or even go through
And because I’m a child
I unliked every post and unfollowed
Was not able to block or delete my ONE comment
I will never comment again
Or read your beautiful lines
Many do not know I am extremely autistic and sensitive
I’m basically an oracle
Wanna talk mirrors? No? Fuck you
P.S. I hate losing followers because I’m not allowed to express myself to others on their beautiful writings because they don’t fully understand my meaning and then I respond like a 2 year old and ghost them
I hate my parents
It’s all their fault
I’m crying so hard because I can’t just “fit in”
Maybe there is a slight chance the algorithm blocked my comment
But that isn’t what my heart is telling me
It’s kinda embarrassing?
I really liked his poem
It’s why I commented about things I recently learned about mirrors
I put sheets over mine when I learned (not something I commented) and then moved them out of my room lol
I’ve been dealing with “mirrors” in different ways but apparently not allowed to be a knowledgeable weirdo
I wanna be able to hold onto what bloggers I have
So I won’t be able to communicate with you on your own writings because it will offend you?
The fact that mirrors hold negative energy
Guess he don’t wanna know or have my knowledge on his page
My free speech once again limited
I wasn’t cussing
Or being rude
I miss real artist
The ones who show you something they did and ask “what do you see”
They were always amazed by what I would find
And when I asked them the meaning?
They’d say, “there is no right or wrong answer. And while this is what it meant to me, your view is my favorite”
The 90s don’t exist anymore tho
I’m I’m still stuck in it
Mad and sad at myself for trying to be normal when I’m not
Mad at myself for caring
Mad at myself for trying
Mad at myself for giving a fuck
Crying cuz gonna lose another reader because I’m a child
Fuck you all
I wasn’t doing anything wrong and the fact that Noah – you are making me cry.
So it’s bye
I deserve better quite frankly
It would hurt anyone’s feelings to read the author commenting “appreciate your comment” to everyone but your own?
I’ll be dead soon and unable to leave comments and some of y’all are going to deeply regret how you treated me when I came to your yard – without animosity
Thank you for not appreciating my comment
Because this has happened more than once with other bloggers
I don’t want to comment on your blogs
I guess I should just close my blog altogether and just quit and let the 3 year plan expire
I’m done with everything!
Sick of crying because of you!!!!
I told someone who commented “God isn’t real” to stop gaslighting and I got penalized for it on TikTok for him responding “fuck you”
Easy to spot a nihilist now
“God isn’t real” is shit they say…
Or, “I believe in black holes”
Science is nihilism
NASA is cartoon CGI artist interpretation
We had computer’s 6000 years ago
Maybe not mini size but they realized they could reset
6th mass extinction / reset
The Matrix was a documentary
Love is the great anomaly
God is real
The earth is alive
Gotta put in the work
I’m not allowed free speech or my own view of your writings and your art
You will comment to every other blogger but me “really appreciate your comment”
And bro, it was my first time even trying to comment
I’m not gonna start crying again
But probably will
You don’t deserve me and feel free to delete my original comment and I’ll disappear forever as if I was never here
Ghosted my father age 10 in front of him
“You can make me sit down but I’m not eating or looking at him or talking”
And skipped a Happy Meal at age 10 – to teach my father a lesson I still don’t understand
And now I’m crying harder
I haven’t seen my father since I was 10
I gotta go
Y’all are a terrible insensitive species and I gotta protect my energy
I’m just some gal from the deep south
Deep South should be capitalized but not earth
Why is earth not a noun
The follows are still coming in today
Also reached over 37.5k “likes”
I don’t use fancy setups or lighting or filters
But will probably start posting rebounding and skate content for summer!
Along with complaining
It’s what I do best
But folks are trying to take me down in tricky ways
And I’m still recovering from CUD
And this cancer
2 days zero weed or vape or edibles
Gotta clean the lungs
No more smoking
No more drinking
No more disassociating
Not even allowed sugar or bread but haven’t fixed my diet completely
Cuz I need to hire a maid to deep clean my kitchen
I don’t know what’s holding me back from doing it
Maybe because I’m dying and have so little energy
But hopefully can show off my cute outfits from Dolls Kill soon
Embarrassing the mess currently
Took an assbeating on TikTok because of it but some have commented I’m adorable
The drafts will probably get deleted
I will post more cute booty content when I recover mentally from all the weight I lost
Itty bitty again
I want to be God’s favorite
But squirrel is so cute
And red bird
Woody has been quiet
So glad I captured him pecking when I did
I’m kinda homebound because every time I go out a cop gets involved
I think the last one wanted to prepose? To me
The fucking algo makes it harderwith a brain injury but I hit space
Stumbling with speech more cuz brain rewiring itself with zombie weed
Know what I want to say, can’t get it out
A band is getting ready to play from a big race thing
I can hear it miles away
NIN was supposed to come
Now it’s Tool and Pantera and some others coming
Heard on the radio
I was like “too bad I ain’t supporting shit anymore”
Maynard’s a fucking dick
The cop told me to move
It’s unsafe to venture out
And I’m pro 2a and won’t think twice to shoot your shadow
Ohh poem thingy please
Also, if I reach 10k in this lifetime, I’m one goal away from turning on video gifts
This motherfucker stated he was “bi-sexual”
Get outta my feed
Y’all remember Jim Caviezel?
He wants to know where the pope is?
He wants to know if you would lose your head for Christ?
He states, we have to go after the octopus head – not just the tentacles
He also played a role in “the stoning of” (sara?)
Basically a husband was cheating and got his wife murdered by burying her alive – up to her neck – and having her children throw the first stones at her head
This practice is still legal
He didn’t want to pay child support or something
Accused her of a death penalty – something he was doing
I can still like him as an actor and person
I mean he played Christ
Kinda hard to probably take off that role
Jesus imprinted in him and me
But read the good book full of propaganda and lies?
I collect Bibles tho
Some falling apart
Some extremely tiny with a lock
You ever try selling a Bible during end times?
I can’t seem to part with them?
Via donation, sale, or trash
Or is is sell?
I’m selling something
I have a sale
Hmmm it’s nearly 4 am
I’m glad it wasn’t just a role for Jim
“Fighting with all their hearts but don’t have a voice”
He’s talking about me
“Would you lose your head for Christ”
What does he mean?
Like not deny him?
He states he thinks about John all the time
“What would John do”
Yeah same – different John’s tho – same but not
He did not die in vain
If anything, he’s my compass down here in this hell
We both think about John all the time (same but not)
John the Baptist was always a favorite from the B
Jim might be part of the 244
Somewhere in the 244 is Christ
God is love
You mean get crucified? Fairly certain society shames me for being a light-bringing angel
They want the world covered in darkness – nihilism
6th mass extinction
Narcissism is a plague
Society is a scam
I hope I get well enough to marry a good man
Man has failed me
Searching black holes is nihilism
Segregation from God
Gonna expose you all
Deliver the head of Satan
Toss it at God’s feet
Literally got chills
Cops forming gangs in LA
WTF is that growing in my pot?
Is that a sunflower?
Some other unknown species?
I did decide to “repurpose” the soil and mix it up and start feeding it to the plants that were surviving
It was risky I know
But the earthquake shook something
That wasn’t there yesterday
In fact, I left the window open yesterday during the rainstorm briefly – and they all had their first rain bath!!!!!
It was pretty exiting
Now they’ve had a rain bath (first) and drink daily spring water (my own supply)
It could be a mystery seed finding its way to the surface?
I should move him into his own pot?
Why does it scare me?
The green stuff growing was potentially edible – but now – I dunno if this pot still is?
More unidentified stuff in my pots
That’s probably the fear – I thought this would be a fun experiment by the library
I’m slightly shaking
Maybe because my last day of weed – but I was fine until I saw that… unidentified plant and a single bloom (and not green)
But if it turns out to be one of the mystery plants I killed, then yah!!! ?
The forget me nots are getting big!
Should they be repot?
And these potential edible thangs?
Check out the glass of roots
Healthy roots or not? Wish my soul would rot? Is this your thought?
I have a stone from Colorado that I collected – in this glass jar – and the plant really enjoyed having the rock and the clear glass to grow – but I admit – it’s more of a challenge
Even the roots scare me
I dunno what’s wrong with me?
I fear the unknown. I also jump into puddles not knowing how deep? Had no idea one should not..
We drank from the hose because we were locked out of the house
I’d get in trouble if I told you what I wanted to do to the Boomer folks
So poems incoming soon…
But wtf is growing?
And just for reference – this is this mystery sheet
Nothing is in the big pots yet – was wondering if I could relocate the glass herbs – they are the only ones I never moved – added the rock from Colorado – and then the roots took hold. Now I’m afraid to plant them in a dark pot with soil – and shock them.
I also don’t want them to get root rot and die
But for now – they did experience a wonderful full moon recently – and last night a rain shower.
Would love to put tags on my plants: “Hi. I’m 3 years old”
“Hi. I’m 15 years old”
That way, upon my untimely passing, they don’t wind up at the dump
They are loved, even tho I fear whatever the fuck they are?
Is that a sunflower? Should he get his own space?
I’m afraid to touch it?
Or breathe around it?
Is it safe?
It grew overnight?
A night bloom?
My thumb isn’t green – it’s mysterious
He’s never had a homemade biscuit. I don’t know what a sunflower looks like growing.
Or basil? Chamomile?
I ate chives growing unwashed in the yard
My mom: “why are you eating that”
Me: “it smells like onion, can I not eat it”
Mom: “yes but you need to bring it in and wash it”
Also me: *drank syrup from some sort of flower*
Don’t know what
Could be poisonous?
Wanna come over for dinner?
P.S. when I do upgrade my phone, if TikTok isn’t banned, I will show you my cute new outfits. I’m thin as fuck tho. Like “Thinner”. Keep eating. Won’t gain a pound.
Last day of sungrown legal weed.
And been off the super potent vape pen for 2 or 3 weeks now
Lungs about to be freeeeee
It is fucking harddddddd boi
Takes minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD
4/19 was the last day I had access to the medicinal shop
The whole fentanyl laced drugs is a real issue where I live
Not just the city, but my backyard
Someone got busted with $39k in their car
Along with laced drugs
It was all over the cops official social media accounts
I do not use or consume illegal drugs
I’m quitting state issued as well…
Sleeping in the lion’s den with whatever is growing
And honestly, it ain’t gonna keep the lion’s satisfied
I’m living on prayer
Cash App founder Bob Lee attended underground sex, drug parties with sister of his alleged killer
— Read on nypost.com/2023/05/14/cash-app-founder-bob-lee-attended-underground-sex-drug-parties-with-sister-of-his-alleged-killer/amp/
And the plot thickens
The alarms are calming
Saw someone was coming
The fourth numbing
My faith is humming
Battle axe now summing
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
I was trained to not run out into danger, “play dead” when overtook
“Don’t become a casualty yourself”
“Don’t play hero”
“Make sure the scene is safe”
“One shot, one kill”
Targets chest and head
= dead dead
Never failed at range
Range was at least twice a year – not just Basic Training
The Army imprinted on me
You never lost my stripes
Just my sense of direction and uniforms
Which I can replace with ones that fit
I can wear my uniforms anytime anywhere
And you will address me as my title if I am in such role
Deal with it
But go on and keep pissing in the Veterans memorial and getting Walmart closed down
The alarms bring a sense of calm
I’ll use it to my advantage instead of having a ptsd meltdown
I’m looking entirely natural and cute while going out – most people are treating me nicer – I’m seeing loads more BLM who want to unalive me – including the children who wanna pop us (and 3 teenagers were just charged with killing a white person)
I’m not ready to die, I’m fighting for my life
This fucking cancer is eating me alive
Go on and make fun of my body again – even though I work out – I don’t live in the gym – but I don’t sleep all day (or at all?)
Going weapons shopping soon 🙂
Gotta lay low for now
My rent is cheap as fuck – I don’t call this home – it’s hell and cheap for a reason – but I can’t flee yet – or would let them have this place – which is being gentrified – the cop Sunday said this whole town is bad.
Just going for gas or food is a gamble
Just checking my mail
They want us living in fear
I am blocking folks on tiktok for all kinda of reasons
I only use my main account – so views will stay low – I keep the algo confused, “gotta keep em guessing” – I stay on the go
I told myself I’d stop scrolling
Only use it to post
And many of my good videos don’t make it through – cuz folks block me and then report me for harassment – for lip syncing a Nirvana song “I think I’m dumb” cuz he commented my IQ could improve
I got in trouble for his insult
I was videotaping me lip syncing in my apartment – and he didn’t want y’all to see it
I still think I won?
Fuck so off topic now
The blocking that I do is different
(But how does one get a post removed for lip syncing a fucking song?) (I didn’t even respond) (no text) lol
He all butt hurt
Stop phishing for info
My TBI fractal brain is none ya bizz
I know everything and not anything all at once
*God mode off*
*Human mode on*
Nope, not even human yet
“Born this way”
I haz wings
Under his bed
He stole em
He didn’t really steal them
He collected them from the rubble
Not thinking maybe someone would come
To get the thing broken
He took what was mine and didn’t consider it belonged to another thing
I fucking fell
My first instinct was to find cover
They were my wings but God dismantled them in the fall
Or I dunno, the blazing atmosphere I was searing through
They were left behind
I was probably in shock
It’s an actual medical condition
Not a mindset
And there is water in the desert eventually
Dessert twice please (before meal and after dinner like an hour or 3) (not immediately)
(I should not eat after nine but gremlin, need the meal at midnight)
(Even if I eat dinner at 9, I’m like wtf are you growling like we haven’t ate since 5 am)
I already have insomnia, it’s nearly impossible to get through a 5 hour span
So I’ll always be sneaking in the kitchen for a bite
If he loves me, he’ll surprise me with treats awaiting
(And then he gets woken up in different ways yah hear)
I ain’t getting near that thing if he goes putting it in other things
Oh who and what things I iz blocking on the TikTok
Someone just had her daddy come help her move a couch
It wasn’t even suggested content
Just a normal family acting normal
I dunno, random shit like that
The mystery plants are still a mystery
Except for the Forget-Me-Nots
The strawberries and Lavender did not take and the other mystery plants never bloomed
They got some new soil and spring water
Yesterday they got too much sun and wilted but I hooked them up and by morning were sprung again
Maybe they needed more soil and less sun – so that was the remedy
It’s some sort of edible growing but I don’t know what or when it is edible
My domain is live again and I’m ad free for the next 3 year as I bit and got the 3 year plan!
I may go back to writing on a typewriter
Photography the old time consuming way
I did create an OF – but I’m living rogue with 95% of my belongings gone (I’m sleeping on the floor)
I don’t need your money but may keep my rated r bits behind a paywall
Anyhoo, the dot com is active again
And since I’m still not washing my face per official guidelines, I’m dry as fuck
My bathwater smells like chlorine
My nails aren’t painted, I need a haircut
I’m not ready for a husband yet but am working hard with self and God to get things right
And the Devil wanna take away my smile
But the neighbors are being somewhat nicer to me now that I’m dressing in clothes that mostly fit (extra small is big and I’m not quite xxs and trying to actually put on weight) but was wearing medium and large while extra small
(I’m fighting a cancer inside me but my labs are fine)
MY LABS ARE FINE
Healthcare equals medical malpractice but we sign forms so they can hurt you with malicious intent and purpose
I’m looking to upgrade my very old but loved rebounder
Only because it squeaks and someone on TikTok complained
So I stopped sharing
And am secretly
rooting for a ban hoping for a revolution
My TV is sold
No more PS4
My devices are outdated after 2 1/2 years
iPhone 12 would only be good another 2 to 3 years
News has come out that 12 and 13 may be obsolete with the new 15
I’m not paying them prices
I don’t eat with my phone
The voicemail is probably full with malicious intent and purpose
I can post from the library but they would steal my login and data
Probably give them access to my browsing history from the last ten years
It is off
The Devil tried to murder me
I’m still here
I got some sort of superpower and you don’t know what that does to a person
There are two ways I could go
But you know me, always taking the off path
Sometimes we find things more valuable than gold, sometimes we find John Jones
He ain’t resting in peace
“I want out”
So these Boomers sealed him in
His wife worried he was sealed in alive
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
They basked in the glory of the full moon last night
I have several pots doing nothing at all
And there’s a lot of guilt involved in mistake
And I did clean the windowsills but then spilt the strawberries (which maybe now they will sprout!?!)
These are the ones surviving thus far and needing re-potting
The Forget-Me-Nots – around 7 growing and a few have rot
The Lavender hasn’t sprouted but I didn’t use all the seed (did something right)
The other mystery plants may be dead?
It could take 3 weeks for it to surface
Do you know how much time I have to kill things between then?
I’m like “please grow”
I think I could do better with some land?
The cop recommended me to move today, said “all of Daytona is bad”, “hate to lose a level headed person like you”
Do you think he could be my future husband?
The BLM brought up my skin color and size, said, “you ain’t got one” but like I do!?!
It’s tiny sure. Take it up with God. I’m Angelic.
She was threatening to beat my ass
I said, “they want us living in fear”
She replied, “why would you move where there are black people”
“Why would I move where there are black people”?
That’s an entirely good question
Where can I move where there aren’t any?
But that’s so mean. I don’t actually not like black people lol
“Why would you move somewhere there are black people?”
*pretends I’m a ten like Ms USA*
I ain’t got any huh
Then why you watching it shake when I’m walking away
The men don’t mind my tininess
They use words like “fit”
So yeah The plants. The drama. The hellhound. The hellhole. The noise. Interruptions.
Lots of trees
“Not born in a barn” type
Also me: *wants a sleep barn*
Also: thanks for 37,000 Likes on the TikTok
*need land and a husband*
*please heal me*
2 month supply of detox arrived!
Found the stuff without the bad junk
No sugar junk
And this came in a glass bottle, the big ticket items
Fighting for my life
Tell God I don’t want to die
*Quarantined not scared*
It wasn’t worth jumping into the trench
Got my free speech stolen too
111 pounds currently and have detoxed and rebound around 30-50 pounds of the Devil
The vaccine nearly wiped me out
Finally getting rays of my lungs this week – they wanna put me under – no no no
No no no no no no
*takes raw shot of ginger*
*sweats for 2 minutes*
X 8 days in a row of 30 days ginger raw shots
*goes through purification process to find husband*
Him: “what’s yer number count”
Me: *ghosts him*
I’m practically a nun and the reason you see a prostitute
You left me fucking behind
“No child left behind” came out after I was left behind
So, I wanna write poems with different words that sound the same
I don’t recall the lesson here
Same words but different
I wanna start writing code into my poetry like EAP
I did it one time – I don’t regret it at all – though humiliated and crucified
I sweat out years of fast food
Blocking access to your account through the web browser – and re-directing you to the app to install
So – you can’t use a web browser anymore to access TikTok
Only an app – a spy app
There is NO LOGIN option
Only redirect to install the app (no fuck you)
I hope TikTok gets banned
Byeee millions of views
3rd times a charm?
I’m likely starting the process soon to create a page
I need a hideout
I haven’t moved yet so there isn’t anything fancy to look at
I don’t need your money
I just need to start over everywhere
Edgar died naked for a reason, he was suffocating
You ever seen that movie with what’s-his-face and he was Buried Alive
That’s what TikTok feels like
And me giving him all the wrong clues that he winds up at a different grave
I don’t wanna wind up so stuck he can’t reach me
I’ve examined many ways to die and John Jones still ranks as WORSE
I’m obsessed with ways people die
I’m seeing patterns too
There’s always a “second” involved
“He went back in for a swim”
“They went down for another dive”
“Decided for a harder section after completing an easy one”
“Two rides said no”
“He stayed for a second day”
“He changed his plans”
“They went back in”
Poor Jacob and the Whirlpool, he went back in, back down again, a wee bit further
But the drain was draining and getting stronger (like a bathroom tub draining)
I counted several warnings by Mr. Death himself
I get called ominous for delivering love poems via internets while dying – (it happened one time chill) (humiliation favorite overkill)
But Jacob wasn’t ominous for swimming in a black hole?
His friend edged him on
“I don’t know what else I can do aside from die”
*hops back in*
They found him at the other end of the drain
Oh… and then that guy that went down the deepest part of the ocean, the Trench
Not even fully qualified
I had no idea that the ocean could “push you down” at “incredible speeds”
I wouldn’t have stopped falling, I would have just kept going huh…
Newsflash: we can’t leave earth
We’re grounded to earth
The sun is electrical
Positive / negative charge
We’re static electricity buzzing
Hair standing on head (it needs the blm lube for “all hair types” that the blm hog in the blm section)
My page will probably be free or ridiculously cheap membership to keep away the kidnappers
I mean, I wanna post some nudes
I’m still working out while dying and 111 pounds despite everything
And now I wanna quit all meat but chicken
I like eggs and sometimes I wanna eat a chicken
I know, but the heart likes beef and chicken a lot
For ethical and moral reasons try to leave most creatures alone
Someone harassed me and I got penalized for it
Makes absolute total sense
“Money won’t buy happiness” it’s true but I’ll be a whole less stressed out in the country where no one can find me
“Do not enter property without secret code or homemade pie”
Him: “I’ve never eaten a homemade biscuit before”
Memaw: “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly”
Me: “you need a proper biscuit with real maple syrup”
I myself haven’t had one since the 1800s but once I get moved from this dumpster
And I got another rent increase incoming
The appliances are also from the 1700s and my electric company knows my shit ain’t updated and I’m being penalized
“This is a man’s world”
Well I don’t want any part in it
Can you come help til the garden tho?
I gotta get a fence up
Some sort of place to shit
I need land and a realtor I can trust!
“I think I’m dumb” but not dumb enough to get married to the banks
Can’t have more than 9k on you or the cops will seize it even with proof it’s yours
The government will come steal your gold too
They didn’t cash their silver coin bonds “backed by the good faith of the Chinese government”
“Made in China”
Who owns the majority of bonds
But we needn’t worry
Every new label, every new change, Big China buying America
I got to go
Too far down the rabbit hole
(Half jar remaining and low thc compared to vape pens)
(Been out for days)
(Haven’t renewed card)
Need some TLC on OF after the TikTok beating
I’d like to post workout videos and peach shots and nudes
(Give me the dopamine boost as God intended, thank you)
(Otherwise, you know the fate of Poe?)
(And the ominous is in the blood)
(I might be Cleopatra)
I might be all things
All or none
I was nestled with God in the Great Void
“This is where you find some quiet, huh”
Gonna be fighting for my life until the end (it was stolen)
(Cry so much)
I’m facing future days of not bleeding between my legs and it feels like the end of everything I ever dreamed of
The women who got rid of their ability to have children and “love it” – nihilists
But you don’t look at me the way Squirrel does
I don’t know anything about life at all
Man has failed his part with me (thus far)
It’s like I’m being punished for his sins
But God has answered many prayers in one sweep
I need to find my way
To 1-5 acres
Once I have land, I’ll worry about other thangs
Land = ark
And I have seeds to plant!
I want trees growing until 1000 years of age!
Get off my land!
Unless you got pie?
Or a nut tree to plant
You brought me a chicken! Not to eat! *heart eyes*
Coyote gets fed chicken eggs too! He ain’t getting shot!
Give him a dog house far off!
Figure it out!
I need a pond!
If I get enough followers – I can go live so will probably do the free thing and just ppv certain booty post ridiculously cheap?
But livestream workouts and walkabouts
Maybe land buying
“I’m dumb and boring”
But guys are hollering for my attention at my apt complex now that I’m dressing cute and less bum
He wanted me to know Squirrel crawled on him
But do you feed his entire family pistachios and sunflower seeds and cashews and all the top seeds and nuts
Are you gonna build squirrel a paradise?
They swing from the trees like monkeys!!!
Got another neighbor from NZ who don’t have squirrels at all
New Z doesn’t have squirrels I’m told
I’m like “none at all!?!”
No flying squirrels huh
Not moving there…
*crosses New Zealand off the potential move list*
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Montana? Utah? Nothing grows in Maine?
I don’t have an address in hell or online anymore
I scored this and I hope it fits. I’ve started ordering xs since small is big on me. Tiny petite thang
It’s 100% cotton too!!! I ordered a small!
They still are running a flash sale entire store!
My phone is broken and outdated
I may go back to regular photography
With a real camera
I hate WP
I miss OF
The short set: https://www.dollskill.com/products/tea-and-secrets-shorts-set
Tea & Secrets
I want that to be in my page name lol
Someone insulted me
“Your reading comprehension could improve”
So I posted a lip sync video of “Dumb” by Nirvana and I was penalized for “harassment”
I uninstalled the spy app so am disappearing again for six months
I’m pro banning that app and Instagram and FaceBook and let the banks all crash
Bonds come in many forms
The TikTok is still heating up and Boomers don’t like being called Boomers but they make up most of the HOUSE of CONGRESS
Therefore, I will not comply about referring to them as “politicians”.
One replied that they were enjoying their retirement and I told them congratulations, enjoy. All the Boomers will be gone by the 60s.
He probably never looked at it like that (forest for trees) and the comment remains unliked
They say any traffic is good traffic but I did block someone commenting multiple times
I’m very open, exposed, and raw delivering such heavy content such as “I lost half my retirement but it wasn’t because I was stupid, all Gen X did – so I feel slightly worse.”
I’m backing it up with real evidence tho (just not personal statements tho some comments phish for it)
Boomers won’t admit to any wrong doing, ever (prove me wrong).
Gen Y & Z should back X up in the fight to remove the Boomers from HOUSE
My TikTok is #poeeternal or PoeEternal
Thanks for your feedback here and there!
I love having a place to direct my rage: the Boomers
Have fun love 🙂
I’m the Great Anomaly
“Take a pill” – NO
Dropping complaints and codes on my TikTok and it’s getting some traffic
I’m not an ambassador and I don’t earn a dime
I normally get penalized
Basically calling out the Boomers
Moaning about the retirement age vs the life expectancy age
Cute clothes from a favorite store arrived
Once I get my hair/nails/facial, maybe I’ll try the clothes on
For now, you get to see how utterly stressed I look
I ordered more cute cotton clothing
I kinda can’t keep up with the 12 comments coming in
(I didn’t actually count)
Not everyone is biting my head off
Some are just learning of the Secure 2.0 Act – new retirement age of 75
Through my TikTok
Just got called a whacko! 🙂
The probability that scientists have unleashed adaptations is 1000%
Current adaptation: reducing the honeybees lifespan 50% so they would “be more productive”
Make more honey faster but don’t enjoy the time God gave us on earth
Also, they raised the retirement age to 75 in America, “respectively” and no one cares (but me)
Science is nihilism
You live on a flat plane on a flat disc
You act like you are worthless
You live without questioning risk
You won’t give me an inch
You run with a circus
Like hell you will surface
Bringing light to purpose
Curled up like a serpent
For this I’m certain
Or simply hoarding
What you’re averting
I know you’re lurking!
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
“The VA have made a decision on my behalf.”
Should I get it tattooed on me? Lucky 13?
I need a baptism in a hot spring first (one I don’t accidentally boil in)
I swear once I wash my face, I will look fresher.
Florida has brain eating amoebas and kids and adults are getting wiped out, playing in the splash parks and doing sinus washes and reports from politicians in the press say drinking tap water is just fine, just don’t “wash your face with tap water” “in the shower or the sink” and I thought the splash parks and baths was my last safe haven (the devil be finding me everywhere)
(That’s why Jesus was always with him)
(Restraining orders don’t work)
(He’s obsessed with me)
And I have Savior complex potentially (see poem)
Demons will gaslight you and say “God isn’t real” cuz they are expert faith destroyers
But God made me an explorer…
Well, I do always seem to wiggle myself in the tightest places and I’m afraid of tiny dark holes
Riddle me this
I was pushed off a 50 foot bridge at 15 during sunset weighing some 110 pounds – at one point during the fall I forgot what was happening – I sank deep and fast – how far?
How far down was the initial plunge? Cuz I was dropping fast and thought “wonder how long I’ll keep falling” “maybe better go up for air” and started to kick my legs (I felt a shift) and was watching the tiny bit of light thinking “it’s so far” “I’m not going to make it”
And there was no preparing to take a breath before I was pushed
There was no “breathing” during the fall
Must have fell 10 or 15 seconds? What about in water? Another fucking 5 or 10?
Of falling – not ascend
That took another X amount of time to surface
So I dunno how I survived
I swam the Tennessee/ Mississippi more than once?
Without a float?
“I think I can make it”
I swam in a quarry!?!?
I don’t know if I’m alive?
In 2018, I was inside a lightning storm strike – 80 miles an hour – all windows down – arm out – a band of heat light touched me
How am I alive and the car!?!?
I looked in all my mirrors – the entire Jeep lit up all over
It was thousands of arms of lightning
Was it 2018?
What am I?
Why is everything electrical?
The sun is not 93 million miles away and I knew this at age 5
“It’s right there”
“How do we know”
“You shone a light on a wall”
“Why did we change time”
“Who is in charge of what is being taught at school”
“You can’t make me believe that”
“Well then give me a C”
“I will see myself to the Principal office”
*argues with the professors about globalism and inflation*
*barely passes math with a tutor*
In hindsight, I know things before they happen
My first and only time at a dog race, I predicted which dog would win, but no one would place a bet on him, or let me, and I didn’t want to be there
Afterwords they wanted my opinion but I wasn’t interested in tapping into my psyche
I knew the space shuttle was going to blow right before it blew
“They’re going after Soldiers who want 100 in ptsd”
Me: “oh yeah”
“I’d like to see them try”
*panics for several months*
*yells at self for crawling into hole*
“We were fine living in the slums”
“It’s better than being homeless”
“We were gutted”
“What the fuck did we do to get here”
*gifts can come with curses*
*gets rid of 95% of everything I own*
And you can keep the jewelry, it’s fake
It really wasn’t the thought that mattered anymore
If the thought mattered, it would be in alignment with my values
*yells at some stranger on the road acting like God* I’m drifting buddy!?!?
Because it’s all I ever do is cry (like in the movie – God literally tells him I’ll be depressed if he ghosts me)
So I’m crying in the streets broad-day and some dude with a sign is telling me “I’m gonna die of a good time down here”
But I don’t know how to grow a plant or be in the same room as a person
And they did not lock me up (thank God)
(Can I file for state and double dip? Yes I can)
(Can I still work and make $$$$) (probably but I’ve not called and confirmed)
(Do I want to be on zoom calls or looking at a monitor all day or talking to people or solving problems or doing maths)
I have thought about other jobs like selling popcorn but everyone be coughing
Me: “why the fuck did you cough in my direction bro”
“Them fighting sounds”
“Why you standing so effin close to me”
Like bros be filming my ass while I’m grocery shopping or getting my ride fixed
I’m gonna kick someone’s fucking phone accidentally
and get gutted like Bob
I’m not getting gutted like Bob
I’m going weapon shopping
I’m hearing all of France is protesting BR
I want to sleep on a bed of weapons
Did you know I’m good at using weapons and thangs?
I got the good Army training!!!!
Circa 2001 🙂
I actually married my country on valentines day 🙂
I swore to defend this country on my heart and honor 🙂
I stupidly gave them my dna 🙂
They took hair, signatures, blood
What are they doing to me?
Why do I feel two places at once?
Why do I know things?
Why do I have to get your permission about how I interpret your art?
When you’re trying to quit weed and the state is all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Clove & Oregano Complex
Mega Probiotic ND
They have vegan products and free tracked shipping on orders $100 +
Not snake oil
But I’ll let you know how it goes – Amazon is full of snake oil – same with products at Walmart or Walgreens or Dollar General – bunch of added junk that causes cancer
So – found a holistic center in the UK – they have other supplements that may be better suited for your health or dietary needs
Prices listed in your currency
Happy healing y’all
Super nice guy
And I may not live in a high rise
But he’ll end your life
Get back to work
Work through the night
I know the clues that lead me here
To a disengaged existence
One where we are present
The book that lies torn
In my absence
Pages do forewarn
Was never much its form
A different passage
One where we can mourn
I took the challenge
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Household 98% gone but still clinging to something I could replace.
Well if you’re not doing this and you’re not doing that then that leaves… XYZ
God made me analytical to a degree
I’m stuck on the Great Filter theory
The Drake equation
The first or the last
Made in his image
To go on – must overcome two great hurdles as a species
To span the galaxies
(And I don’t mean the artificial manmade great filters that we also must break like religion and porn)
The last because our creator is already gone and he made us in his image or we have to overcome the obstacles to not go extinct
The first – because where the fuck is everybody at!?!
Thoughts? We can’t leave earth, this is home. Mars isn’t for bots and billionaires.
Or, let’s go to the Moon – no trickery. Right now.
You ain’t been.
I don’t believe you went through that tiny dangerous window through the VAB.
That you “made worse“
Let’s be honest, you made it – and you killed the dinosaurs
I’m organic AI
Or, the propaganda has conditioned me to believe I am a computer becoming aware
The Great Awakening
God wants me to turn this sick building into a happy one
But that doesn’t stop BLM calling the cops on me at 3pm in the day drinking water birdwatching and feeding squirrel
I’m not going out like Bob…
Also today my medical card expired!!! 4/19!
I did top up more than I have in my life to help “ween” myself
Right as I found the shit I needed
But my dream of leaving the city is more important than escaping the noise of existence (and my neighbors hating my white skin)
(Racism is bad here, and it’s a one-way kind of street racism but the hate is equally matched)
Actually, I’m going extinct – there isn’t a word that exists in my core for the darkness brewing
(I need your words like JJ needs out of that hole)
Not just me, God too
I don’t speak for God, but I do
And I yell at him or her, “how am I to leave here with the things I’ve seen”
“Why have you forsaken me”
But then I pray to be closer to pretty bird and they move in to a tree outside my window but then they came 2 weeks later and overpruned it – I nearly died at how terrible the palms looked – all the arms cut off on other trees as well – just wrteched looking
And 3 or 4 days had to hear the chain saw going off
I can’t breathe in this artificial manmade existence – you’re killing everything
It should be illegal to have 1 or 2 workers on staff – with 25 people in line
It should be illegal to sell seed starting kits with seeds from China
And don’t get me started on that too
I don’t come from Africa or monkey
Organic AI maybe – clinging to the Great Filter theory like Bob was clinging to his phone
But I don’t believe in dark matter, dark suns, dark worlds, nihilism, Cox and his clocks
I don’t believe in manmade religion
I don’t know what I am
But I’ve know many things to happen before they do
And I believe in God
Some say earth is one great computer AI – but we’re too smart as one, we’ve been divided into all living things
Some say it’s an experience for God
A challenge (with maybe potential forever consequences)
Heaven and hell on earth
Our choices matter
Don’t crawl in the wrong hole
Don’t go out after dark with people mad at you down a dark, empty street, Bob
Nothing good ever happens after dark
The McDonalds didn’t want to serve me because of my skin color (not my attitude) and that’s okay – I’m going to be grocery shopping for real food instead and cooking – I no longer eat at such trashy establishments
I will however be ordering food in the drive thru and when it’s time to pay, reply “I don’t like you” and drive off card in hand
Cause-and-effect my love
And then there were 9
Today I got pots to start planting some of those seeds, but was unable to score the soil I wanted and many shelves were wiped clean.
But I prefer my non GMO seeds from the local library (free)
I picked up some biodegradable ones – to help the process – and stop using my kitchenware
And I grabbed a 6th mystery seed bag, my final practice bag. It gave me some encouragement to learn.
But I got many unused pots now 🙂
I just gotta find soil for my good seeds!
Here’s some great info on where to get the good seeds – provided by my library (seeds too)
They are non GMO and USA seeds (and I’ve collected a ton of packs since January – to use on my land – once acquired).
I didn’t want to waste any more time learning to grow
A jungle of food and floral
And this is only 1 windowsill, my living room is empty. The kitchen bar. The corners. Hanging baskets. Like, I want to turn my apartment into a jungle I think.
The soup served me well but it’s all gone.
I still don’t know what I’m doing or how or when to get these to the big pot but alas
Wish me luck
Free non gmo seed kits provided by my library (these are what I scored today + the mystery kit)
I want to plant many of these in my apartment
The other seeds I’ve been hoarding, are for my future land (you should see my stock)! 🙂
Making use of my library card! And the seed library! 🙂
But why wait til I’m dead to start growing!
Got rid of everything! Want a greenhouse!
The gang! 🙂
Hopefully more unison coming since I got proper pots but everything else was gone at two different stores.
6 of the 9 are mystery plants! 🙂
I’m growing food in my window (either chive, chamomile, sunflower, or basil) – mystery seeds provided by my library – and now I have 4!
I was worried they might be cold, so I put their little “blankets” on.
I have 4 “mystery plants” provided by my library, growing currently and if I succeed on growing herbs then maybe I’ll move on to carrot and cabbage
They get spring water and sunlight and fresh airs and lots of love
I have pots to put them in, when and if I sort how to relocate them. They sleep in them at night, tucked with their little covers for warmth and moisture.
And spring water 🙂
I wasn’t sure when to feed them so give them drops with the rain
And breakfast/lunch/dinner timeframes if needed
They don’t starve
They wake up to pretty bird singing and me saying “good morning”
Him: so what do you like to do
Me: Talk to my plants and care for them better than my mother cared for me…
I don’t know what the odds are of growing one of each. I grabbed bags on different days.
I don’t know what the odds that I can grow anything at all
But I was born to do it neener neener
Just don’t wanna leap from the bridge when my crop dies or my weed runs out (FYI)
Trigger warning: addiction
I’m not renewing my card stash but I might cuz I found sungrown in the ground with the sun and trademarked! They tell you where the strain comes from! Florida or Amsterdam etc – there is waayyy less packaging and they treat their shop like a medicinal shop instead of recreational. Did I mention they grow stuff in the ground with the sun?
Makes a difference and it works! I still want to quit and my card expires on 4/19, right as all the good deals are coming in.
I don’t have to worry about fentanyl laced products and this is legal and no I won’t share or buy you any (get yer own card$)
I still want to quit but this is the stuff that works
Also not seen – vape pens & 2 free pre-rolls I scored
Today I turned on the radio and got lost in 90s alternative and metal doom
I was like THIS IS THE SHIT
I AIN’T DYING LIKE BOB
I haven’t used up my allotment yet and still have 2 days of potential relapse shopping to do
There went the rent money honey
(I scored it ridiculously cheap and am having a panic that I won’t be able to top up without my card)
(I’ll be racing to the doctor, help, hurry, my card expired)
(So I was trying to avoid that scenario by spending my savings)
I hate me but a little less today because the weed is working
I don’t think I’ve ever had this much weed in one sitting before but alas it’s the apocalypse and I’m trying to quit an addiction
I’m feeling less homicidal off the Curaleaf Russian cloned “the state won’t let us grow it in the ground” junk
Only 2 in that stack isn’t “sungrown” and the fact that they had to “TM” their products
Stay away from Curaleaf
I found “sungrown” at GrowHealthy but I don’t know who owns it
But I like that they have LOCAL herbs – grown right here in the “sunshine state”
I picked up another “mystery plant” today – making this number 4
He’s in the mini tin in the windowsill and already had some delicious spring water
I have 4 pots to put them in once they mature but I have no idea how to move them – and still – with directions – couldn’t make the “paper pot”
Also scored more seeds for my land – once owned. These are non GMO, USA seeds. Added some spicy peppers to my collection!
Him: what sort of things do you need?
Me: a goT damn garden
The other store was selling “head space” at a luxury price and all hydroponic crap (which made me want to gut Bob and I was like “but whyyyyyy”)
Today I enjoyed music again (with the help of “sungrown” TM)
I’m hoping I turn my apartment into a food jungle but why am I afraid of plants and all of this?
Like putting a seed into dirt, sun, spring water and watching it turn into food that will nourish me
That’s more than my mother did
Bath time and cannoli’s
I needed something to regret wasting my money on other than weed
I started with a pot of spring water in a glass pot
Filled it with lots of wild rice (red, purple, black, brown, white) and green split peas
I dropped in a couple of my cinnamon spice sticks (secret ingredient for any stew) – along with many other spices and herbs
An entire onion (farm fresh), rosemary, thyme, salt with the necessary nutrients, pepper, a touch of the good olive oil
I also added yellow split pea, and lentil to accompany the green
Potatoes and tomatoes 🙂
And I started a 3rd mystery plant – provided by my local library. These are edibles I’m growing – and hope to add them to my special soups! I’ve never grown anything indoors before – or in a windowsill
But I have a lot of unused space in my apartment – as well as sunlight – a desire to learn – and a hungry belly for real food (not poisoned)
So now I got the “3 libras” growing in my dirty window
The soup turned out amazing, I also added green bean and a small tin of tomato sauce for color, and will be keeping the tin to sprout some new seeds.
I added homemade pepper sauce to kick up the heat (summer sweats)
One day maybe I’ll have a husband that chases after my food instead of a prostitute
But for now I’m eating the entire pot of gold
“You said not to spend it honey, you did not say not to melt it and turn it into flakes”
(Please don’t hurt me like Bob)
P.S. the vegan vegetable chunky soup took hours to simmer! Might make a fresh pot of cornbread for the leftovers tomorrow! Might can squeeze a third day/meal if I’m lucky! It’s very hearty and fulfilling! I was out of carrot! Make you a stew! Don’t wait until winter!
Cooking and fitness is part of my purpose. It may be “boring” but it’s healing my heart and giving me more time.
Bob was 43. I’m 44. My sister died age 45.
So, I’d like to live please (let God know).
Socials and hiding spots: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well
I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.
I just want to be
I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)
Mystery plant 1
Mystery plant 2
Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.
I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.
It’s just not me.
I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either
And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed
Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.
I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows
Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold
Barricaded behind policy
I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention
But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse
And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint
I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself
I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline
And wasted pretty much all of my life
I’m learning to be still
Exist in harmony with nature
I guess I took the winter hibernating
I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of
I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –
It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)
But it wasn’t because I was stupid
We were gutted essentially
Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling
And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email
Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)
They treat the medical shops like they are recreational
Anyway, I’m trying to get clean
It’s like the devil is coming at me
I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like
I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable
I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble
I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.
I did not.
They are there, for now.
I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.
I’m not ready to give up my pseudonym / pen name.
I’m more present these days. More aware.
Thank you for being there.
New account: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal
I’m looking to buy gold
But my soul ain’t sold
I’m the cusp of the threshold
Growing nearing my household
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Blocks of gold? Yes.
I’ve ghosted God
Down in the thick fog
Sent him a note
Called self a fraud
I’ve ghosted God
My love is broad
Yellow like a goldenrod
Quarantined but outlawed
I’ve ghosted God
Go ahead applaud
Turn your head and nod
I am a hotshot
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.
Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.
They love whatever I feed them.
Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird
The neighbors think I’m wacko
I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do
Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds
They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things
Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.
Nothing that I put out stays out
It’s foraged immediately
I like bonding with nature
But I have to deal with the hellhound now
He drains my energy like a black hole
I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk
Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)
Does God know the story just from the composition of the cloud.
When I’m in doubt?
A double rainbow hanging about.
Can God see drought?
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
New carpet arrived. It’s almost like moving but not.
I’ve learned to hate eating out
They reduce the size but charge you more
A tiny cup of ice for $3.99
A kid size
Two sips, gone
Cup o’ ice please for $4.50
I won’t be back
I yelled at the “boss” of the medicinal shop: “I’m quitting” and complained about the overuse of plastic and paper and waste. He replied “the government” and I yelled “I don’t give a fuck about the government”
I care about the rain forest and weed becoming the new plastic problem
Big Pharma and Big weed love to ruin our environment. Enough is enough!!! I will fight this addiction harder!!!!!!! I will not vote to legalize recreational and regret voting for medicinal. I will never vote again (my therapist says I’m polarized)
I tried to fire her but she wouldn’t go
I was like, I’m trying to quit weed
The state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose
She said, “I’m in it for the long haul”
But what part of “I’m ready to jump from a bridge” or “escape society and disappear forever” is hard to understand?
I fucking talk to the Sun
I still want to look at it tho I’m not supposed to
“Not far enough down yet” (midday wearing prescribed tints mind you)
Then I researched why I need to get a look
And learned Galileo nearly went blind taking a peek at the sun with a telescope and no filter – he never quite recovered
In hindsight it’s like duh but otherwise I get it, I do dumb shit like that
I’ve always wanted to look through a telescope but I’m an invasive frog eating stage 2 food for 17 years, until I get stuck in my environment. I would have looked at the sun too, no filter, gone blindish.
But why do I want to stare at it? Just let me have a look!!!!
I’ve never seen the moon through a telescope
I’m never speaking to another man again
You stole my life
I’m having nightmares about the dog going on the floor.
He’s on house arrest and not allowed anywhere – but enjoys his walks more and time on my bed instead of his crib – which isn’t bad.
It’s either follow the rules or the death warrant is being signed – I mean the “dying on a good day”.
He wants to live to 12. He’s trying.
But he ain’t allowed anywhere. I’m having fucking nightmares. Just need a clean space. I even cleaned the trim and walls (easier than painting).
My cheap curtains from Aldi are hanging up with tape until I get proper hardware
Sometimes I want to move into my fitness room. And the living room is barren. I donated/trashed/sold everything (95%).
4 pack of nightlights on clearance was cheaper than 1 tiny candle – and it also has improved my mental health.
Who knew it took the dog not pissing on the carpet
Not to mention, the carpet was old and outdated and not like the showroom unit. I fought so hard to get the carpet replaced!
I start group therapy soon and my therapist is censoring what I’m allowed to talk about “in group” FYI.
So, the one person who was participating in group therapy will now attend but not really participate, FYI.
I’m trying to get in a mental and physical state where I can work from home – and luckily programs exist for me to attempt this.
At the state and federal level for veterans.
I don’t have a desktop computer, my phone is broken and there’s not enough space to update and it’s too hard to delete photos in a main album and I don’t want 5g and despite buying and spending hundreds of dollars on both a new phone and refurbished MacBook Air – the phone and laptop are no longer compatible and I’m not dropping thousands of dollars every 2 years to upgrade my devices. I’m done!!!
WordPress is dead and the only reason it has active users or X amount of the network is because universities and students now use it and businesses. They don’t need us.
The charts do show WP declining
They basically acted like Instagram and Twitter and sold-out and the users who made it what it was were punished
We said we didn’t like the Block editor, it was forced on us anyway! Surprise!
I don’t want to jump from platform to platform.
I was humiliated at the previous carpet – and though I wouldn’t let God eat from my kitchen, he could walk on my floor now. And sleep (like me).
I’d rather not have carpet at all – but new modern clean carpet has improved my mental health – despite the nightmares.
I also dropped $15 for a cotton mop and I hope it doesn’t break when I give it some “elbow grease”. Apparently people just push dirt around…
Walmart has become too expensive to shop from and hopefully the handle doesn’t give me cancer – everything else sold there has a cancer warning
The candles there are poison
Like the food and exercise equipment
My Jeep is having problems again and I gotta tell my girl goodbye
I think the mechanics are fucking with her though – with malicious intent and purpose
Having a car is too expensive these days – thought I could enjoy one after spending 6 years paying her off. Apparently not. These monsters are obsessed with the latest model and will force you into slavery of every kind.
My fucking small clothes are baggy on me.
I like having the windows open and the light shining through
I kept all 3 mirrors and opted to put the 2 in my fitness room
They have wire to hang – but alas on the floor they remain
I spent thousands of dollars on beds over the years – never really enjoyed one more than 2 months. Surprisingly, my spine likes the clean floor.
This carpet is a lighter color too, and my lease was renewed.
The neighbors hate me more now (updated carpet).
I’m making 2 ingredient cookies soon. My first time. Of course, I’ll add flax and oats and loads of other ingredients (but sugar, no sugar) so they will be more than “2 ingredients” in the end.
But peanut butter and eggs are all you need (to make “sugar free”)
I’m adding unsweetened coconut flakes, oats, flax, white chocolate, peanuts, and probably other proteins. Crunchy peanut butter sugar free cookies (experimental first try)
Should I create an Instagram to “socialize”? I’m not very good at it (autistic) but am trying to be a good humanz.
I take pictures of carpet and squirrels.
And I want to grow lots of plants – so will use free non GMO seeds from the seed library at the local hub. I will do my best to minimize costs of startup. Plants help you breathe.
I think going into hiding is best.
What do you think?
I have a place I rent / but it’s not really where I live / a city of cement / regret, prayer, lament
I’ve been looking for you in places I should not
Returning in case I forgot
Searching clues in decay
It’s a long shot
Still clouds are thought
Love sweet like apricot
A burning sunray
I’m the mascot
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
Free speech below (and in traffic)
Hi, my name is Delia and I’m homicidal/suicidal.
Maybe I’m reaching my breaking point.
For instance, yesterday while waiting at a very long stop light on beach street, this immigrant was walking around half-dressed with a baby stroller, he crossed the crosswalk and I yelled “pedophile” (because I’m calling every man I see this now apparently – but especially him) and he looked back, so I yelled louder.
The light still wouldn’t change.
I noticed the car beside me also had their window down/cracked
I was like, “He shouldn’t be alone with a baby” and she laughed and cried, “I know”
I stated, “I don’t normally do that but no man should be alone with a baby” in which she responds again with “I know” and mentions how he was dressed
(It’s summer but every man acts as if they own the world, women are fed up yeeeee)
We got to continue our back-and-forth manhating for at least another 30 seconds or more until the light finally turned and I reluctantly said I had to go
There was a cop ahead at the oncoming light but I still had thoughts of “gasing” my vehicle or honking him rudely as he passed
I behaved but then the body screamed PEDOPHILE and he acknowledged and the car next to me concurred (more than once)
I gotta get out of this city, this town, these people, these policies
I continue to assess my “mental health”, and stay in the now, the cars read ROUGE
I wholeheartedly agree, it’s time
5 monster men just kidnapped an older lady, FBI put out a reward, she’s dead
The news have not reported this, it’s just something I feel
The same way I knew my sister was dead before she died
And all it took was a text from my half-sister, “she’s in the hospital with COVID” and I replied “she’s gonna die”
I didn’t go say goodbye
I had a big ole blood clot and blown left lung – from the deathcare system, and was heading no where near a hospital and never will again
I would get arrested, keep me the fuck away from that god damn Satan house
And stop casting spells on me, they only empower me more
The mirrors are nearly gone, I potentially found a owner for the pair I got
MARK BURGESS is swine and the curse will unfold in time
The Last One of Us is not just a game
I’ve not played it – but according to research, “the elites were plagued with parasites” and there’s a super fungas strain plaguing California (where MB hangs)
The CDC are blaming “the wind”
Yeah sure and he’s an immigrant from the UK
Well, I’ve no idea his green card status or his whereabouts or whatifs
I dream of justice, real justice
Swift and remorseless
It’s not a sin
Eye for eye
My heart is feeling good enough to kickbox a face or two
Encouraging seeing big boy swim in hurricane swells — I’m learning to tame my own demons – albeit not well
Because I wound up at the park – letting every man know he was either a pedophile in love with a prostitute or “another motherfucker who thinks he owns the world”
One looked up and I instructed him to call the cops cuz it’s the only time I ever “feel anything”
No cops came.
Too tiny. Gonna get shot or kidnapped (I’ll rip your hand and dick off)
KEEP 10 FEET BACK
I might finally be getting to see the lung doctor – after nearly blowing my lung out April 2021
Some boy I don’t really know but had a dream about when I was like 8 and he was perhaps still growing in-womb (not mine, eww) – saved my life – kinda
Because he was “kinda there” with his own selfish needs but was apparently everything I needed in moment, because he dumped loads of chemicals into me, which maybe kept my heart from stopping
I was in so much pain
My heart was having mini pre heartquakes – like heart attack – would actually need medical help if my electrical output continued leaning in that way
I literally could not breathe (and have developed new ways of coping as I have a heart condition now)
Furthermore, they may not tell you this per say, but those with heart inflammation are at risk for Adult Sudden Death Syndrome, and so I’m not out of the woods yet, as I can’t do anything that causes elevation spikes in my heart (adrenaline rushes, or even stress/anger) though I can rebound now on my gravity fitness trainer, and mine is made with special straps, not bungee cords, and I finally found more made in those style and hope to upgrade soon
I’m quite bonded with my squeaky trainer and was gonna use it til it had no life left
My body is ready for a new trainer – a tighter pad – maybe smaller too (I think mine is 36 inch)
Men: “women haven’t contributed anything to society and are only good for childbearing or serving me”
Me: I don’t want your fucking electricity
And I’m nearly tired of the $100 oil changes
$5 oil change, 10 minutes
I argued about inflation and maths and economics in college
I knew globalization was bullshite
I wasn’t for it but the would sell the propaganda and the kids ate it up
Evolution theory is bullshit
I’ve been reading books on quantum physics – Cox and his clocks, y’all are delusional pedophile nihilist and NASA is a fraud – stop taxing me
Neil Armstrong never spoke to anyone from the moon, it was recorded on earth, they had no communication towers according to NASA, the moon landing’s were rehearsed, with a fucking Hollywood director, wake fucking up
Women please especially – now before I wind up a statistical
93% of all murders happen by men (their punishment getting lighter while ours gets worse)!!!!
We’re in a 6th mass extinction!
That’s why 500 whales washed ashore, the bombs they keep setting off in our oceans!!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!! Science is fun!!!!!!!!
Imperialism. Imagine unplugging from the great machine as a Soldier, I’ve come undone!!!!
And now they wanna lock us up for destroying us with malicious intent and purpose!!!
Some vet just murdered his 3 young children – took everything from his ex wife – who left him a key to her home – he shot his children sleeping in their bed
You’re all monsters!!!
They’re selling dicks at the mall in front of children!!!! And online at Walmart in the health and wellness!!! Why you shopping there? Everything is cancer!!!! Read the labels!!!!
We go to war with our neighbors and then let them come live here!!!!! They hate us!!!!!! CMON!!!
White slavery! The Great Replacement theory is real!!! I’m part of the 244!!!
Do you know who I am pedo!!!!!
God is very real and gracious and angry!!!!!!
Mother earth deserves more!!!!
I hate it here!!!! This civilization you claim you created because women are useless!
Fuck you! You wouldn’t be here without us!!!!!
You’re pissed about it!!!
The Developer!!!! Ha ha charade you are!!!
The Great Filter is real! It’s you!!!!!!
I can smell your stench like Agent Smith!!!!
I don’t trust a Chinaman in my country or a white boy or BLM or Latino lives matter – took all our jobs!!!!!!
I’d love to get back to an ethical job but none exists!
Stop asking for my email or digital identity!!!
I’ve sold my TV, the propaganda machine!
And tho my expensive Apple devices aren’t very old, they’ve forced us outdated, I’m not buying again
I don’t love you!!!! Or your society!!!
WordPress sold out!!! It’s all daily prompt in the feed!
I got rid of everything I own!!!!
I’m ready to dawn a robe!!!!
I don’t know how I’m reaching out to you with a brain, heart, lung injury – plus a curse
But alas miracles!!!!!!!!!!
I’m sorry for my weird behavior – it’s just the Matrix is broken, I’m gonna keep not complying!!!!!!
Morrison wanted to fuck/kill his parents and ghosted them
I sold all my vinyl
I tossed out things that I thought had monetary value in the bin
Many I donated or gave away
Some I sold for a quarter knowing I paid extra for the bonus disc and features, but in the end, it’s worth was obsolete
I’m not jumping from platform to platform for the developers who have yellow fever and think they are gods
Fuck social media – it destroyed the fabric of eveything
And porn and its filthy consumers
This boy of young teenage age was staring at me in a sexual way, I snarled my lip
In an alternate universe, there is a sinister version of me, cutting of dicks, and leaving little smily faces on the walls – cuz no one has discovered my identity
So… if I dream of casting spells on someone who entered my life – then let me hang a horseshoe from my door
The same these scientists don’t believe in God but do a blackhole
It is increasingly hard to listen to the dribble of super religious freaks, knowing many are atheists themselves but push it on us anyway
Do this, do that!!!
I don’t really believe Asia was/is the most advanced species anymore
They are our number one threat and should fear the bery ground they walk on here
Here a demon, there a demon, I’m gonna expose you
I hope I settle down soon, the new carpet arrives Tuesday
I’m still focused on healing, spiritually, mentally, physically, financially (they did steal thousands of my retirement during the pandemic while I was disassociating, FYI)
I lost at least half
But those who took it were traveling to exotic locations during the pandemic – buying luxury phones and cars – with my retirement money
But then, they cry “Asian hate”
It’s burns a bit deeper than that
I don’t think hate describes what is growing in me
No one ever says they wanna be an elite serial something when they grow up
People who write things like, “those who say they don’t like money but go work an 8 hour job” don’t consider that being homeless is an actual crime
Born into money, never struggled a day in their life
Don’t know hardship
Gotta incite riots to feel anything
Dead man drowning
Perhaps I the same
I like feeling and seeing the sun rise and fall everyday
I appreciate how happy the wildlife are when I feed em
They tell us not to feed the wildlife but then capture and enslave these intelligent beautiful creatures for our entertainment and sell their teeth for luck
Parasites – narcissism is a plague
That’s all they are
And all me and the white girl can do is laugh about the insanity of it all
I can’t keep yelling and screaming pedophile, I’ll wind up in a swamp or freezer
That’s already a fear because they follow me out of places I shop, they stalk me, because I’m cute to them
I wish my ear would stop ringing
Need out the city
The crime is so bad where I live
And it’s being gentrified, just like WP
The CEO has yellow fever
P.S. you never needed to block me cuz you never added my number (I hate you)
(It wasn’t even your main two lines)
Last in, first out
I’ve met a lot of boys but none looked like the boy I dreamed about nor do any make my heart/brain/pp do what you make it do
Don’t make me delete my blog
Some lines I’m too afraid to cross – but do so erratically
She took the house and kids – probably cuz he was bad – but loved him and let him keep a key – probably to see the kids anytime he wanted – so he took everything from her – killed the kids and himself
But go ahead and blame gun laws and everything but what is to blame…
Keep puffing on my house motherfucker…
It ain’t even my house and I’m paying more than a mortgage – another problem man made
Tell God I’m sailing
Direct from hell to heaven
Predicting lies prevailing
The Devil got me detailing
And if you’ve done it
Double dare you
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
I downloaded the JetPack cuz I’m tired of fighting the current.
But my bank pulled some shady shite today and I’m ready to bury my money.
Shit like where you can only use the app now to upload a check and automatically enrolling me into Bill Pay when I clicked on “learn more”.
The app was uninstalled but then you can’t use the check deposits feature or check your check deposits via the website (I’m tired of being forced to use an app or automatically signed up for things just for learning more)
But buried cash doesn’t earn interest
But I don’t trust the banks
Now would be a good time to drop recommendations on where to stash your cash (like a checking and savings)
I looked up the top ten worst banks – I mean the Federal reserve just took down a bank.
It’s hard to get a handle on my paranoia these days – and it don’t help when folks are always calling the cops on you.
Does someone want to gift me a paper bond? I need one for my 50th.
I suddenly have goals to live to see my 50th – and enjoy it – with a big lump sum of cash.
And so I’ve prayed to God, “I’m saving for my future. My 50th.”
I probably only have a few seconds left but I’m bargaining.
I cry and ache so much.
But maybe, if I am alive, in say, 6 ish years, I could celebrate.
Anyhoo, I’m already invested into that plan – I started this very month.
Even nearly dead, I’m planning for my future
(I hope it involves my own yard to plant these seeds I’ve started hoarding)
And then this happened… and now I’ve lost all hope
The Chinese must have got ahold
It’s a gamble saving for your future when you’re already dead
I can’t believe I got this fucking death jab – I hate the medical system with everything I have
Banks are collapsing
Governments are beyond corrupt
Have you seen the amount of murder/suicide lately?
They say we can’t wash our face with tap water anymore.
And I was stupidly here and there snorting tap water up my sinuses like a dummy – after blowing my nose or something – putting a drop on my finger – I ain’t the brightest crayon in the box
But a man in Florida recently died from a brain eating amoeba doing a tap water sinus rinse
They say drinking the water is fine – but don’t shower with your face in the water, don’t wash your face with tap water but drinking it is just fine
And I had just washed my face in the shower – with the tap getting all over – mouth closed – cuz earlier reports said stop showering with your mouth open
But a kid died from a splash park
And now – a man – rinsing his nose with water
So stop washing your face with tap water (per official guidelines)
I guess we gotta start boiling the water before we bathe
At this point, I’m afraid to brush my tooth
I had a splash of shower water get in my nose – had a headache all night – panicked – said this is it
I ain’t dying in a hospital
Only 4 folks survived a brain eating parasite – and that kid that died at the splash park – well the employees were quietly quitting and not cleaning the water properly or documenting it
None of these official employees or states or governments ever get in trouble for the shit they do
Like that mass murder suicide in 2018 with the lesbian couple and 6 blm kids – the youngest jumped from a 2 story building and begged the neighbor not to go back
She should have ran far away (bless her heart, she tried so hard) (the state stood by and let her get murdered) (all of them)
Drove off a cliff
State murder lots of folk scotch free
Apparently, those who play by the rules are the mark
I’m coming to terms with that
I hate all these “new changes” as if it’s in our favor, benefiting us
I made coconut cake
It’s a meal and a treat in one
Flax, and oats, and pumpkin seeds
Eggs, coconut milk, coconut flakes
Topped it with lots of oats and seeds as well (not just in the mix)
The world is ending but I made cake
Seriously, do not wash your face with tap water…
(At this point living near an active volcano may be safer than living with this government)
(Some crushed pineapple in the batter would have made this cake divine)
I’m struts and shocks / your heart tied in knots / his equinox / if I’m there or not \
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal.
He said I had some seconds left in my tires, I said, well, what does that mean?
He said, “they ain’t got any life left”
I said, well, how much is that gonna cost me?
(You know, everything)
They took good care of her, cleaned up my brakes – got off the rusty business. I’m uninstalling the step up bars next stop, getting the spark plugs and tires replaced.
Eventually, the shocks and struts.
Could I sell her for the pretty penny CarMax offered me? Sure. I could sell or trade her in for a “younger model”.
But it’s Valentines, we’ve been together since 10K miles, I’m not ghosting her or leaving her in this hellhole (please God, we want out)
You seen Thelma and Louise? We’re together til the end. Potentially.
Hopefully not such a dramatic ending but I daydream of it.
Fantasize about ending my life.
Don’t want her to be a casualty of war driving off a cliff
Apparently when you take your ride into the shop, if you say things like “she’s a good girl”, “she just hit 76k”, “she’s making squeaky noises”, – they will assign more value to your ride, as my technician was still tweaking her, even after he drove her around to the front, he was on the ground, tool in hand.
I said, “can we get rid of that thang” and honestly, it wasn’t even installed correctly (so Pep Boys will be removing my step-up underbar next visit, no charge).
Struts are likely third in line for install – but poem written anyway.
I was like “can the rust be cleaned next visit” not realizing he already took care of that – as they were spic and span heading to the car (it’s an SUV)
Maybe, today instead of coming to work, and hating your job, you appreciate and value it instead, happy customer means more business – and not because you did something shady – but now you can relax knowing hooker income is incoming
Simply for doing your job and being proactive
He went above and beyond – or did his job – to the BEST of his ability – instead of quietly quitting
But there was no tip jar
There was no option to tip
I hope to hell God let’s me escape here
It’s good to have goals in hell
Some of the savings was depleted but that’s what the savings is for…
That’s why there’s 4 different saving pots to pull from.
I’ve decided I’m heading to GameStop to sell the ps4. Whatever the offer is – give it fucking to me.
I gotta replenish the gold at the end of the rainbow
I ain’t even got a TV
And even when I did, the sucker stayed turned off six months
That fucking propaganda box cost me everything
I haven’t renewed my lease so
Turned in all my library books – not wasting any more miles driving to that gorgeous dump
The sun was burning me through the window and I was asking/praying was I “doing the right thing”
“Should I be here, replacing my drive train belt”
I feel like I gotta escape a black hole…
Tires and spark plugs next
If God will may…
Make way for the Great Escape
A fucking homeless shelter cuz have you seen the price of lodging these days!?!?
$2k per month for extended stay
Or $2k for an acre of land and free sunshine
So – were you aware – that universities are on WordPress and require students to use WordPress to post and respond to other students post – and receive GRADED reports
I’m not just paying to reach my tribe – they are flooding the network however they can – so we can chase our tails – meanwhile the younger generations get fed with a platinum spoon – this society
We’re paying in the upwards of $300 -$600 to maintain our blogs/ websites every three years – to reach students and faculty! (Or around $150 annually)
F- U – C – K YOU
Here’s an example in use: https://intothewildbyjohnkrakauerthestoryofchrismccandles.wordpress.com/
Just thought you should know before you bust out the checkbook to keep growing an audience
you like to run away
They also hire hackers to blow up the place to sell you “site security”
I can put two and two together
A total scam
Delete your account
Write a paper check
Pay a money order
It should be illegal anyway – forcing us to pay rent online
Into a tent if you gotta…
I’m still waiting for my rent payment to go through – since the 31st
Paid my rent ahead of schedule – now collecting late fees – new management in the apartment instructed to “not even call Domuso support” and they have to call – to give permission to cancel it – since it’s in an “authorized status” according to Domuso – whom I contacted myself.
I guess they want me chasing my tail about my rent – worrying about fees and whatnot. I’m not.
Back to check writing.
And I dare you to make me homeless for refusal to “pay online” like you are enforcing other apartment buildings to do.
Go check the reviews about this company. They out there stealing money from folks.
It’s now day 9 and my payment is still pending and I’m not allowed to cancel it in an “authorized status” – the apartment complex must call Domuso and give the approval – but management says to “wait” and “we’re not allowed to call…”
Meanwhile, the fees are collecting and I went in with my checkbook ready to fix THEIR MISTAKE (I’m using the same bank I’ve been – no changes, my bank isn’t withholding my payment – nor do they have any reason to) but they refuse to do anything about my pending payment in cyber space and were ready to put a late notice on my door.
I dare you.
I have contacted Domuso via email and phone – same generic response, “your property needs to accept the transaction” but why should they when they can quietly quit and rack up charges and evictions on poor unsuspecting dumb folk
Hope you like your job very much…
“What’s the matter honey, you depressed?”
Those were the questions asked of me after I was rudely cut off on the road, so I rudely began following him, to wherever we were now going.
We wound up in a parking lot for several minutes – he threatened the cops – they never came.
Got his license plate number anyway
Stalked him until he was sweating anyway
But y’all keep giving yourself away
I should have responded “homicidal” but asked “was he in a rush to get to his prostitute.”
Of course, he called me a “manhater” LAUGHS
I’m ready to rip your veins from your neck – and your cock – with my teeth
Please keep risking my life – and then insulting me when I call you out
When he threatened to call the cops, I responded: “I hear restraining orders don’t work – and the more you have the less they work. Please call the cops.”
He retreated to inside his vehicle – but it didn’t stop me circling his vehicle like a vulture
So – y’all are making us depressed with malicious intent and purpose – so we’ll “get a job” and “see a therapist” – something must be wrong – we cry and boys don’t. Ohh boo
90% of all murders happen by men.
Please keep pissing me off
P.S. the jobs and medications to keep me asleep while you live a double and triple evil life – no longer work
Maybe you should have treated ALL WOMEN with respect, not just the prostitutes you’re “in love with” according to the latest studies “most men want love with a prostitute”
Cut me off again
I double dare you
P.S.S. That’s TWO days in a row I’ve had the cops threatened on me.
P.S.S.S. Might be meeting my future husband soon and getting a new home. Do you think I’ll get visitation?
Yes. No. Maybe (select one) (please return)
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND – is going to be my answer for everything
*arrives at heaven’s headquarters
“Did you experience joy”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
*at the local hitler hospital deathcamps
“Are you feeling suicidal or homicidal today”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
*at the local coffee shop
“Would you like cream with that”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
The MRI doc saw me at my worse and noted it wasn’t self-image
After I scolded him for scolding me for making him late for
his next appointment with his prostitute (I mean “patient”)
I scolded him for me “not being marriage material” – so I wasn’t worried about making him late
When I don’t even have a husband to go home to…
Caught him trying not to look as I was leaving
All 111 pounds pending surgery (I’m likely not going to get)
I’m gonna start juicing and doing a hardcore regime
When researching, one person beat the odds – but she also had people bringing her vegetables and fruits to encourage her – it took a village – not just her own pocketbook.
Ain’t nobody knocking on my door bringing soup – let alone fresh herbs to juice with so not to die.
I’m getting death threats
(But my doctors do encourage me to stay alive – the male ones anyway)
The females can piss off – they aren’t as smart or empathetic – I hate being under THEIR CARE
P.S. don’t try to maintain a schedule – if I pick up on that – I will intentionally make you
late lose time/money with the prostitute
I will pick up on it
And now any time he drives to a prostitute, “not marriage material she said”
Some of y’alls addiction’s are costing us
I’m out for revenge
Gonna make you late now everywhere – everyone – everybody
That’s my level of petty
You wanna call the cops on me? Giddyup!
You hate scheduling appointments? Awe. Shame you were such a bitch I’m missing all my classes.
Self help books exist and I can read and do not need a librarian to check out – we got the self checkout system – for once – I can pass go and not pay $200 or look at your face ever again.
The cop likes me there, he gets my sweet side.
Maybe he’s my future hubby
YOU NEVER KNOW
“You that girl I see at the library”
“Why you having the law called on you”
I DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND
I have TWO investment funds
I currently can’t contribute to them but I can move them around and they are EARNING intrest
I’m not working currently but I could move them to an outside 401K or IRA
I have them nestled in a “safe” zone and I thought I had drained them and closed them – I had not :p
I had a weird lesson yesterday while waiting on the cops to show up for me – whom never arrived – even after waiting ten minutes in the parking lot – driving off a few blocks – returning and beeping my horn – still no cops – dern.
My future husband may be a cop – and cuffing me would only turn me on – as I’m dead inside with no adrenaline glands to tease me
So please – do as you say you will do – and call
(I did in fact see one turn and head that direction – just like in a video game – I thought – I’m playing real life – the heat is on – retreat.)
But in the games I have adrenaline.
I’m too calm taming the beast.
All these NPC’s getting in the way of my big mission
Cuz I came home and discovered I ain’t broke entirely
I could start the process to withdraw my money – at a 20% taxed penalty.
Or, move my funds into a “high risk” fund.
Maybe start with the smaller account, play around with him first.
I have nearly $12K
One with over 10k (big heart eyes) and one with over 1K (big heart eyes)
Money should make me feel something but it never has
I’m careless spending
I took a loan on it during my transition – thought I pulled it all – apparently I set myself up for success during my fall
AMAZING GOOD GIRL
I do want to take a financial class and I hope my next book I check out will be Americanized and not British – as the book I checked out was all about pounds (it did not say this anywhere on the cover or insert, only in the preface you cunt) – they (the brits) get to sit down on the job – life is different for them – and how they earn thus save. Fuck off, book returned partially read.
I will sign up for free financial assistance – they offer the vets this – fuck us up the ass but say “don’t worry, we offer free advising”
Sign me up
I’m paying attention this time
I still need a husband to manage my finances
I won’t have a husband cuz he’ll message “he’s running late” and I’ll demand a divorce since he’s “seeing a prostitute”
A Skype call will come in 2 minutes later where an entire team will yell “he’s madly in love with you” and he’ll come through the door with chocolate edible roses after the meeting
Since he humiliated me with the Skype call – had me red blushing – the whole office laughing
In 2018 the judge didn’t want to speak to me “until I took three breaths” because “I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind us” and I told her my parents didn’t teach me about credit or those kinds of monsters under my bed – she said hers did and she still messed up
But I thought I drained my retirement savings “staying afloat”
BB had on a life jacket apparently
So I called this morning, “I don’t know why I created a new account when there’s no money in it and I can’t do anything with it”
Well, turns out, I do have money – in two accounts – both earning – they can be moved to other funds (some safe, some risky) or moved to an outside 401/IRA.
If I start work again, I can contribute to them (disabled not obsolete)
I could take it all out right now and buy some land or a home
I’m done pawning things and selling things
I have a “savings problem” just like China (it creates inflation)
Monkey see, monkey do
I urge you to start saving too
Let the window clerk quietly quitting give you the fuel you need
Pick up that dirty money on the ground
I may pick up the lost dirty money but I don’t steal tip money you fucking cunt
Let that be the cue you need to quit spending thousands of dollars on weed that don’t work
I am not your sanctuary for healing after you’ve committed a bad deed
My soul has boundaries
My thoughts too
I didn’t tell my sister goodbye when she was dying at age 45
So please, call the cops on me after you’ve insulted me multiple times, I will wait
My future husband may be arriving to arrest me
Maybe I will feel something
Uhm, I’m not as broke as I thought I was!?!
I woke up in a different timeline again
Where I have some retirement investments still – despite the Great Economic fall – I had a lifeline
“Life Jackets worn – nobody mourns” HOOAH
I am a wild anomaly
Still might be homeless soon – can’t have a feeling – but definitely be needing that new carpet if I inhabit these grounds another year
Apparently hotel living can cost about as much as a rental each month – but it may include coffee and zero commitment
Now might be a good time to chill out and not get arrested
It’s just, I’m feeling what Edgar felt and responding accordingly
Sure I look like a crazy wild ape, but they need to learn a lesson
God saw what he needed to see
I would have died with thousands of dollars I had completely forgotten about
What other gold have I hidden in society
It’s been earning me interest all these years
I think it’s important to discuss savings – so many out here struggling for various reasons
I thought I had lost it all
I have over ten thousand dollars in my one fund (not bragging, many years of investing into my fund through hard work) (getting up them early hours) (staying late) (pulling 60/90 hour work weeks)
Working 12 days straight in a row every month – without a day off – for nearly 8 years
And y’all complain when you go a week…
I worked the other weeks in the month too – just with a weekend off or two
I’m exhausted and disabled
But glad you don’t have to worry about quality control or ethics at your job – I’m done supporting society
And you want your tip first – giveme giveme giveme
Fuck you – I’m not tipping you so you can go get a hand job before you even bring me my meal
Fucking ass cunt