If you tell me you’re going to kill the wildlife and give me details on how you’re going to do it, and then confirm it’s going to be done, I’m 100% calling authorities on your ass

Co-workers aren’t your friends and neither are your neighbors

“Love thy neighbor” – yeah well I probably don’t

I try but then the killing confessions start coming like I’m some sort of angel meant to forgive you of your sins

Honey, it wasn’t even 24 hours until I called the law…

I was up all night – walking the block trying to do more than save the trees, but save the squirrels from the nihilistic neighbor who stated she was gonna poison them

PLURAL

Told me how

LAID OUT THE PLAN

I pleaded “please don’t”

She said, “I’m going to hurt them”

“I’m going to poison them”

“I’m going to kill them”

And she went to bed, probably slept sound

But today I saw her throwing out a white trash bag with hardly anything in it, right before Fish and Wildlife showed up at her door

Took me less than 24 hours to report her, Fish and Wildlife came immediately

“To educate her”

“Squirrels are federally protected”

“It’s a criminal offense”

I’m always worried I’m not doing enough, not hugging the trees, not going to political rallies

I think she’s already been neferious

I wrote a poem once about how hard it was to “love thy neighbor”

And now I wrote a new one but forgot to add the “like” in the 2nd line

She stated she found a new church she was attending

Followed by yesterday’s “I’m going to poison them”

And today she got a knock on her door from Fish and Wildlife

Cuz I was like “am I allowed to go to the library and print out information about how it’s a criminal offense and leave that at her door” in a voicemail to the police

I’m calling the cops asking WHO DO I CALL

Oh I called, I called them all

But the landlord is avoiding me lol

I just need to inform him

At least everyone was civil yeah?

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Spreading awareness, making the hard calls

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SAVE THE SQUIRRELS AND THE TREES

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THE NEIGHBOR IS NOT ALLOWED TO REDUCE THE RESOURCES

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I’m prepared to make phone calls and hug the trees

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