Hope (freestyle)

i hope you hate the environment i created
and it crushes you under the giant sun
i hope you rot
long into the hours
curled in snot

i forget a lot
the way love fades with the dying
i practice afterthought
of ways i want to hurt you
i’ll be gone before the shot
is ever heard by you
keep looking in your blind spot
i hope you lay awake at night haunted
like maggots feasting on regret
blood stains on the carpet

lying dead
a tub with golden faucet
but oh how the news can spread

and i’ll be there
wearing smiles on my threads

in a circle where no one stands
reciting dearly departed
near abandoned homes cleaner than my house

i hope you doubt
lose hair from all the worry

i pray out loud
toes dug in the earth
he ain’t got worth
head towards clouds

with moon glowing from curse
i hope it hurts
your bones, your soul and all of the works

like mountains forming sharp edges
ice forming from its ledges
but you are burning in the hearth

for all eternal ages
regret spinning back and forth
a quasar or iron fucking cages

i hope you burst


Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.


side note: the dog triggered me thus poem


three libras + 1 unknown house spider

julian date: 24005


A little poem, a little photography

I’ve broken into too many pieces to collect
And sin he is buried up to his neck

A demon ran past his curfew
Patience is a virtue
Hard work is what I do
Truth is taboo

I misinterpret perception
The book of hope is deception
Misguided direction
Waiting for insurrection

I know I’m headstrong
I read the data wrong
Hang head low on throne
“144” on the headstone

I’m tired of the overrule
Narcissism
How they always ridicule

The banks block the poor from spending hard money earned
Well if you transfer this or transfer that
They’ll track every move you got
And God forbid you have extra dough
You’ll be met with a spending limit yah know!!!

Conditioning the future daddy 🤨

© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal

Raw + edited photos on the new OnlyFans! I’m still on the leaderboard! 🥰

I dropped a new set last night and I am utilizing the “Story and Hightlight” features as I got/still get penalized a lot by Mark Zuckerberg and at least now I have a safety zone to do drops!

I have lost so much weight from detoxing and my little skirt is a medium and I clearly need a size small now (which is fine) but I was panicked and freaking out because I wanted my hair down and I didn’t do my pigtails and blah blah blah – I can always find a reason why the set could have been better but I received my first tip 🤩

So I stopped beating myself up

I’m getting a rebound session in soon but I want my morning coffee first today

Yep

I drink water all freaking day and all night, let me have a fucking coffee OK, I’m 5 pounds, I’m gonna have a fucking coffee before I work out

I know that sounds different from what people do but I’m doing things different down here in this timeline

I’m so annoyed that somewhere in the world right now the year is seven years back and I want to jump into that fucking timeline and have a baby

My clock is ticking and I keep asking it to chill the fuck out but it is in overdrive 🤪

I don’t want anyone hurting any children

But I started my period at 13 and I should’ve been allowed to get married by 15 and have 12 babies with my husband the way my grandmother did with hers

Immigration absolutely has been a Trojan horse and I’m fucking horny, deal with it

I’m not out there doing anything to disrespect my potential future husband though and if he’s worried about me stripping to pay my bills or to keep a roof over my head, then he’s too vanilla for me

As far as I’m concerned, the OF is as good as therapy

I get to express my art and not get penalized by the dictatorship out there

They did steal 20% of my tip tho 😑

I AM SO GRATEFUL I GOT A TIP AT ALL

But there will probably be a poem in the future about how the establishment is stealing the tip money of its hard workers

AND I ABSOLUTELY KNOW WHY EDGAR ALL POE DIED

HE NEEDED TO DEBUG

Like apparently the entire population

I already got a load of dishes washing

About to get a coffee going

RELAX

REBOUND

REPEAT

I’m anxious for my LED bike lights to arrive so I’ll probably pump up the tires and make sure everything’s good to go

THE SUMMER HEAT IS NOT GONE

But early morning and late evening bike rides are about to start

You definitely need lights riding in the city and bright colors sometimes isn’t even enough because I’ve been out several times in bright colors and still have almost been ran over several times with one person coming back to acknowledge it and saying “that was really close”

And I was just like “it was my turn” 😑

I’m gonna try leaving the lions den again

It ain’t safe in any capacity

Which is why I am actively boxing and packing mostly the entire rest of my house and trying to get the master bedroom, closet, and bathroom together, so at least have a little apartment area to not go mad

GILLED AND WITH TEETH. PHOTO BY ME FROM THIS VERY AM. 🤨

A DISH SERVED COLD 🤨

DANGER SHROOMS POTENTIALLY BEWARE (all photography by @poeeternal)

Thank you so much for supporting my content or reading my blog or just being a positive influence in my life overall because I know that I’m toxic and I’m working on that

BUT WHAT ARE THEY PHOTOGRAPHY BY @poeeternal

That ain’t no chicken of the forest. And what do vegans say of eating these parasites? 🤨

THE UNIVERSE IS TELLING ME HOW TO DESTROY THE ELITE FYI

Danger candy everywhere

EVERYWHERE

WHAT ELSE DOES THE MAP MEAN? 🧐


Leap

I still see you and feel a rush
I think I’m dead then find a pulse
Tell myself it’s just impulse
But heart and mind still convulse

I hear your voice then start to faint
My wings expand without constraint
Then lust and love start to taint
I leap in gallops for a taste

© Delia Ross. 2020

Cut me up and piece me back together, I’m still into you…



I’ve tried to kill the need but it just grows stronger. I need you hard.

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Immersion (Sensuality 101)

I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed. 

I like teasing the senses. The art of sensuality. LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. My creed.

Below are some videos and photography of waterplay (no not that hardcore, desensitized porn stuff). Just a gal in a bath tub capturing the movement of shadows in candlelight, hair in water & the softness of me (despite my iron thick walls). There is slight nudity in some of the videos (do not watch if mild nudity offends). Angels are warriors but there is some softness remaining under my iron armor and Kama Sutra is an interest and focus in my life. I’m interested in soft spots and openings in hearts, minds, and bodies. Hardcore desensitizes not only your senses but your mind (plastic too). Sensuality brings enlightenment. I am the darkness, show me the light. I am the fire, give me air. The 4 elements of life. Breathe devotion and love into me. Don’t come into my life to show me roughness. I’m interested in softness. Show me your soft spots. Touch the places in me few ever go…

Waterplay (not that hardcore stuff)
Playing with my softness
Water + long hair
Bath playtime zen
Black n’ white
zen
I love water
playing around with film and editing
Petite & 100% all natural
I do like cherries 🙂
hi

I don’t want hardcore. I know hardcore. I survived a war with guns and fighting and people dying (I served 15 hard years in the Army). I want something more. Peace. Tranquility. Sensuality. Love. Poetry. The sound of your voice in my ear. Your footsteps are the beats of my heart. Let me listen. Quiet the things that make you spiral out of control. Focus on LSD; love, sensuality, devotion. ❤

Music to accompany: https://youtu.be/APW_QwzGg2o

© Delia Ross. 2020

P.S. scroll to the very bottom of this post for bonus footage!


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Still want more!?! 😚

I hope you enjoyed these
Thank you for visiting my blog
xoxo
xxoo
Be sure to follow my blog! Thank you for reading this far!! 🙂

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No Filter Monday (go with me here)

I woke up like dis! No filter Monday (go with me here, in isolation, all the days are the same). I know, I’m always a day late and a dollar short. It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I normally do them on Instagram but Instagram wants to zoom the photos so I decided I’m going to do it on my blog today. No filter, no fancy lighting, no special camera tricks, no makeup, no plastic, no dye, no unique location, no cool clothing, not even coffee. Alas, just me early in the mornings and my eyes are still sleepy as I type this. Just plain and boring me. Freckles and hazel eyes, as I was born eons ago. And believe me it was eons ago. Decades upon decades. Oh, I feel a poem coming. Anyhoo. To be fair, many people have tried to change me over the years by pushing plastic on me (I still refuse to have any plastic on me because I like to feel my surroundings, therefore plastic surgery or fake nails, fake eyelashes, or any other fake stuff will never be part of my existence, sorry not sorry). I still get complaints of today that I don’t wax my eyebrows or get fake tans so I look like the color orange. I tried fake nails once for 2 weeks and I couldn’t feel a thing I touched and my fingernails themselves couldn’t breathe, gross. Plastic limits your sensories. There’s a disconnect from your soul. And there’s actually a movement that’s forming where women are getting their breast implants removed so that they can feel good again because they’re lethargic all the time and they can’t feel their surroundings. And dudes wonder why they can’t make their girl cum. Maybe if you stop pushing them to be fake they could feel things again. I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion but I’ve literally had guys tell me that they don’t like my boobs because they’re not fake. How dare you. Like, I’m a real individual. Don’t fucking diss me because I don’t live up to your standards of what real should be. You should never body shame a woman because they choose to not have their body parts cut off and removed. Like, I even breastfed my child an entire year. How dare you. Stop peer pressuring women into getting plastic surgery and body shaming them. How dare you. I’ve actually had to push through a lot of traumas because of people body shaming me for being real. How dare you. Anyway, it hasn’t been easy but alas I am 41 years old and still 100% natural. And being unmarried is a choice. A CHOICE. I am a fiercely strong and fiery independent woman. Hear me roar. Ahem, so now that I got that off my chest, I kinda feel better. Isn’t that kinda the entire purpose for writing? And I know some of my opinions aren’t popular but I’m not going to silence my voice any longer. But also, if I don’t learn to love myself I’m going to always be chasing after people who don’t love me as well. That ends today. So when you see me liking my own post or commenting to myself, it’s called self-love and you should try it.

P.S. I am in no way a vain person. And if body morphing is your thing cool, I support you. It’s your body. I just don’t feel like men/women/society should peer pressure women into doing it which has been my experience and it’s happened so many times and I’ve even had women complain that I don’t have a tan or my eyebrows waxed etc… the only modifications that I have and will likely get more of are tattoos and piercings. I gave up dying my hair as a resolution this year and so far I’ve stuck to it but I’m definitely not going to apologize that my hair color kind of looks faded. It’s also in its growing out phase. I took a razor to the side of my head last year, so I still have a good portion of my head with maybe 3 or 4 inches grown in. My hair is a mess. 😃

I currently weigh in at 120 lb at height 5’6″ and tiny Cinderella feet…

P.S.S. I’m getting ready to kick off an intense workout routine cuz I wanna cosplay and look gooddddd. I still need to tone up. I lost over 60 pounds (my last relationship was a nightmare and by the time I went no contact I weighed in at over 176 lb). If you are dating a narcissist go no contact and never look back. I did. And he still spies on me. Hoping he gets the *cough cough* I’m not even going to say it out loud cuz I don’t want that kind of karma on me but you know what I want to say… 😂

P.S.S. it takes a lot of courage to be yourself these days. 👍


© Delia Ross. 2020

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Clone

She doesn’t have a mind of her own
Repeating what she sees like it’s her home
She doesn’t have a clue where to roam
Copying me like she’s a clone

© Delia Ross. 2020

She’s a fucking dilettante and he gives her all the reward. 🖕🖕


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Half Broken Dreams (And Poetry)

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared one of these, half broken dreams and poetry. It’s like I’m ripping apart from the seams. Go ahead, take a piece of me.


How foolish to believe he could love a girl like me
A girl who’s good and full of integrity
How stupid to think I had any charm
I’m just a girl avoiding harm


But the sun it never sleeps
And my heart it always weeps
But the secrets that you carry
Are too much for one to bury


I am hard on the edges
Always hanging off of ledges
He is soft as a peach
A heart enriched and simply sweet

He is a moving sea
Wrapped up in poetry
The way it moves with me
So gently


The emptiness settles over me like fog rolling over hills and mountains…


If only he’d given us a chance, we might have got it right.


He’s like a midnight haunting
I’m always wanting
The way he taunts me
It’s like he wants me


Taking off my clothes on some days is harder than facing an enemy with a bomb…

Selfie
Selfie

Their tongues instantly went in orbit around each other.


He has a different touch
It’s not layered with thorns
And underneath his surface
There isn’t any horns


Her lips turn centuries
The way he lets her hang onto forever
She burns like midnight oil
But like a wildfire let her burn
Then the seeds will come


You just sit there letting yourself harden
Where is your heart then
May I still tend?


You, you are home
Your words my magic kingdom
Your mind a wicked garden
Your voice my heart’s beacon


Why does she get all of the reward?


She’s putting lipstick on her cracks
As she crawls around his back
Any love for her I lack


I am married to doubt
My tears falling devout
Like rain coming down a sprout
I’m given out


Danger here be the heart. All poetry be in my veins.


It comes at me like three round burst
The anxiety is getting worse
The loss of hope is where it hurts


History is going to be written whether we succeed or fail.


Keep your heart open they say
But now uninvited guests have come to stay


Condemnation building like condensation.


Truth bites and barks like a rabid dog
I pretend there is life in the lie
Reason knocks hurrily like he’s got somewhere to be
I told him to get lost
I drowned him with liquor


© Delia Ross. 2020


If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Wolf Moon

You come waning through
And full bring me to you
Wide in my view
Pulse quickens too


Anyone else obsessed with our moon? As a woman (and as of most things in nature), my cycles follow the Moon… life evolves and flourishes because of the Moon. So many mating rituals in nature itself, under her glow. And so I always see the moon as feminine energy. Or feel rather. We’re made mostly of water, I feel her tug. They say she’s spinning further away, and one day Earth will no longer be able to hold her. Yet on some days she feels closer than ever. Some dismiss her powers. I write about her alot in my poetry. My pets think the Sun goes to sleep at night, and the sky gets angry and cries. The wind is an entity too, especially in Florida with the hurricanes… BUT when I told my dog we needed the water the sky cries, I saw his mind expand I swear… 🤓

Anyhoo, I wrote this during that recent wolf moon we had. I have a lot of stuff I’ve started but haven’t finished. Some may never see the light of day. But even Edgar Allan Poe’s unpublished stuff wound up getting published. My words are my legacy really. And my words are the only thing I have control of right now. And I never know how many I have left. How many words have I used? What’s remaining? Nothing is infinite. Everything dies. I mean, one day, this fucking galaxy will be gone… poof. Vanished. Our existence completely annihilated. Dust. Bones. Gone. The only thing that matters is right now.

Sorry to get deep on you but it’s now 3 AM and I’m feeling socially deprived and chatty. ✌

And if you didn’t catch the double meanings in the poem, I was referring to how a certain person quickens me, and there’s a slight sexual reference in there. I always tell people art is subjective though including poetry so you get from it what you get from it. It doesn’t have to be what the writer wrote… ✌

What It Takes

She’s part lightning and part thunder
She’s the muse to make you wonder
She’s the open field you wander
She’s the kiss to make you hunger

She’s the truth you seek but fear to face
And the purity you long to taste
She’s the hand that knows how to heal an ache
And she’d give it all if that’s what it takes

She’s the rainbow you see after a storm
The energy of a star to help you keep warm
She’s the honey and hive where the bees always swarm
Yet you are the reason her smile can take form

© Delia Ross. 2019


If you like my writing, please consider subscribing to my new Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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His Laughter

Hearing his laughter is like an avalanche of joy crashing into my soul
Boulders of despair crumble into the great wide unknown
And for a moment, if I dare, I call this broken rumble home
Wide open spaces on our faces made for places where sadness can atone

His laughter is like God ringing the dinner bell
Depression lifted like a veil
A voice from heaven reaching me in hell
The very reason for happiness as far as I can tell

© Delia Ross. 2019

Hearing him laugh is a great anti-depressant. His happiness is my throne. I’d climb the highest mountain to hear it, if only but for a moment. Is there anyone you love to hear laugh? I freestyle wrote this at 3 am while the world was sleeping cuz I heard a thing with him laugh & like poem erupted so. I love to hear him laugh if that was somehow unclear. 😄


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Peaches and Cream

I am all the sweetness of a berry but I show him the sour of a peach
It seems my bitter tongue keeps him at a distance I can’t reach

If I could just learn a language that he and everyone speaks
If he could see through the lows where I have amazing peaks

I wish I could talk to him with my body
I could show him I know joy and naughty
I could kiss his lips and not feel a zombie
I could smile for him and not be so rowdy

There are so many things that I want to say
But my anxiety always gets in the way
And maybe if I had just one night
He could teach me so I could get it right

© Delia Ross. 2019


Writing this made me remember the nicknames my bestfriend (who died by suicide at age 13) and I had for each other, CREAMPUFF & JUICYFRUIT 😍 and we would say to each other, “you are my honeybun and I want to lick all of the cream off of you”. 😊 I LOVE THIS MEMORY. I was her “creampuff” *giggles* I am still sweet like that in the real world, away from a screen. Shy and nerdy but also a sexual beast. I keep showing the beast. But honestly, I can’t help it, it’s like my hormones are 13 againMen go through their sexual prime early in life but women later… Like me, now. Send chocolates.

Excuses

Excuses are the only thing people will proudly show
And if the perception ever shifts, it’s into a direction they never grow
And if you ask them questions they always reply that they don’t know
And if you ask for help they’ll point to a direction you can go

They’ll tell you their mind is open when really it is closed
And when it comes to your life they will be always be brown-nosed
If you peek in their direction you can see their fears exposed
It’s a dog-eat-dog world where sensibility decomposed

© Delia Ross. 2019

You know these types right? They always have their nose in your business? They have your life completely figured out and don’t understand why you don’t? They always look at you with the intent to find fault. And they will even poke and prod you until you bite them and then they scream, “that dog is crazy, it bit me!!!!” Even though the dog is completely tame and loyal and will only bite in self-defense. They always have someone to aid their defense, “yeah, that dog bit her!!!” But the fact is the dog would have never bit if you hadn’t fucked with her… and that is why we have fences so stop jumping my fence and poking me then crying “crazy” when I bite. Grab a mirror, get in the fucking sea already. I don’t have a history of violence or crazy so try again. But, whatever makes you sleep better at night, right? I’ll tell you what makes me fucking sleep, weed. It also helps me not give a shit that you’re such a fucking asshole.

Writings On My Wall

Sun salutations
Wrong allegations
Misweighted information
Long lines of waiting
Years we spent wasting
Love we’ve been chasing
Hearts have been breaking
So tired of hating
Constantly debating
Everyone is faking
Lying & taking
People are shaking
The world is deteriorating



What sort of end are you after
Destroyed it all, even the laughter
Killed the love in the heart of the matter
Took to flight, left agony here to gather


They are like Romeo and Juliet destined to be driven apart yet tethered together by the heart


Here it comes, the end again but this time he brought the apocalypse with him. Lasso my smile and pull down my grin cuz here it is the end again.


Did you know
Wherever you are
I still love you

Did you know
Whoever you become
I will always love you


And then he softly asked about my wants, “just forever babe, I’ll take forever babe”


Give my regards to Bacchus
Tell him I’m just a carcass
But if it wasn’t for his sweet wine
I might not make it through this time


He creates the wave
Then punishes me for riding it
The riptide pulls me under
And he watches me persist



I thought I was falling
I thought you would catch me
I thought I was falling
But it was only a hole
For my soul
Where did the love go?
All I feel is empty
And cold, in this beautiful hole
You dug for me


Hello non-believer
Of anything

Here lies a possibility,
But could you believe her?


The edge is on the horizon
The horizon is how you die
But the wave you’re currently riding
Is the fear you feel inside
As the doom continues rising
So does the panic to decide
So now the boat where you were hiding
Is now the place your soul has died
As you think of all the times you tried
And you let go of hope one final time
Blame the shade of sorrow for why you cried
And your final word becomes goodbye



If you ever feel the sadness in you growing
You never were the reason for me going

Sorry if you saw my love as poison
When it comes to failure I was the chosen

And to a world that’s evermore vacant
You weren’t the reason for me ever staying

Love was something I never knew
And if my love was warm well now it is frozen


Take the wool and pull it over someone else’s eyes please


It’s like everyone is set on destruction mode
And I am set to go… here’s the code, 123, watch me blow
But what happened? I don’t know


And the sign says “you are too qualified”
And the sign read “you are too good”
I apply instead and still get denied
He’ll reply and say “you misunderstood”

And the eye will say “all welcome here”
And the room will stare, “are you misplaced dear”
And the mind will lie and replace the fear
And his hand extends, “this way’s not clear”


Take for granted my kindness I give to you
Take for granted the nights I tried to get through
Take my love and bury it six feet under too
You can’t kill it no matter what you do


She’s at it again, same ole tricks
Like a snake using sex to lure sin
Like a witch with a capture potion
It’s the only way she can get any licks


She was a doll and they all wanted her to break.


You’re getting close, getting close, getting closer
You’re moving fast, always last, getting older
Nobody knows, though we asked, for some closure
Same ratios, lethal dose, then it’s over


An angel slipped from the clouds of heaven
Looking over eternity to get a better view of him
Golden gates spread into the wide open
She spiraled down the hope of his dreams
And he awoke with her feather under his pillow
And from its tip, he spilled his ink all over her future

She danced among the wails of purgatory
Decades she waited outside walls of longing
She stabbed the night so light could shine through
And every star that twinkles is a wish she made for you
His step grows lighter, while her wing drags across his bruise
Her heart carries the weights of love
Her love so pure an ounce can make dreams come true


I slip into his poetry like a favorite pair of pajamas.


Living alone, hiding decline
Rainbows to prison at anytime
Dust keeps collecting above his faint shrine
So he keeps to settling among the lost swine


To me, he’s worth more than any gold
Long ago his self-worth was sold
He dwells among shadows as he was once told
He’ll need to find his courage to be bold


He’s so deep in me
My aura is spinning
And through spirals I’m swimming
In a loop of beginnings
And with a touch of fate, no endings
These soulquakes


I am a galaxy so faint you can barely see it.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Clippings from the sleeve of my heart…

Hunter

Hunting for a future
Hunting for a life
Hunting for a meaning
To not end it tonight

Hunting for a mirror
That doesn’t reflect strife
Searching for an answer
When the question’s never right

Searching for the devil
Under the pale moonlight
Searching for forever
In the middle of a fight

Searching for the handle
Of the blade that’s in my back
Searching for the color
When all I see is black

Searching in my heart
For the love it always lacks
Searching for some shelter
From the endless reign of attacks

Searching for my enemy
In every hand I hold
Searching for some peace
In a land it isn’t sold

Searching for some warmth
In a heart forever cold
Searching for the treasure
But never finding gold

Searching for the best
By bringing out the worst
Searching for the bubbles
To come along and burst

Hunting near the tower
Where she brings out your thirst
Searching in the pages
Of how to stop her curse

Searching in a shadow
Where a truth was still a first
Searching any bottle
Or any woman who can nurse

Searching for the cure
But nothing ever works
Kissing many frogs
But only finding jerks

Searching for an exit
Where it doesn’t ever hurt
Searching for the day
You put in more effort

Searching and hunting
But only gathering dirt
He’s an ocean on an island
And time is the desert

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my goodness, kinda long, I hope it wasn’t too boring. I’m sorry my intelligence is that of a child and I can’t lure you in with exotic words and fancy punctuation. I know I’m not enough, I never have been voluptuous in any area. *sigh

Polaroid

I want everybody to be you and when they’re not I’m destroyed
And that leaves me wondering what kind of blockage you’ve deployed
Because life is at a stop when it is life that I avoid
For every memory stored you are a mental polaroid

I don’t want this and I don’t want that
If it’s not you it’s not allowed to pass
This toll booth is closed, you must find another path
If the thought isn’t of you, I’m going to squash it flat

Now my heart is closed and nothings getting through
And all these other feelings have no revenue
Now my doctor claims skies aren’t the only thing that’s blue
Yet none of these pills kill my desires of you

© Delia Ross. 2019


OH MY EFFING GAWD right, so, Alexander Ebert is reading an entire book on the awesome app he created called Tuners (it’s kind of like Instagram or Facebook without the video or photos and is radio format for open communications about anything). I drop a wee bit of rhyme there, I’m shy. People freestyle. It’s awesome and FREE. Alex is about as unplugged as they come, he’s a genius and my muse. 🙂 He’s teaching me how to be human. Anyhoo, this book he’s reading called “The Untethered Soul” is teaching me some stuffs. Pretty amazing I enjoy still learning. So chapter 6 got me heated and I left some commentary on Tuners about it. But I also woke up and freestyle dropped this poem *giggles* cuz as of yesterday I was ready to pack it in and quit. Writing all together. And living too I think. Whatev. I’m emo. Sue me. Wouldn’t be the first time. “The grass was greener, the light was brighter, the taste was sweeter, with friends surrounding, the nights of wonder, forever and ever…” (and bonus points if you know that song). Oh, the poem is about that dude I like clearly (not Alex, duh). But how many of us do that; cling to something? A memory, a moment whether it is good or bad? And that actually prevents us from living in the now. Living in the now, allows life to flow and happen naturally. But when we cling to the past, or to a thought, we are blocking the energy of essentially everything else around us. And this is true so often, for so much. So to really appreciate life, we must strive to be in the now. ✌

Note to self: STOP CLINGING

P.S. I’ll update later with some links to Tuners.

P.S.S. And so the lesson is, stop clinging, live in the now, leave your heart open, allow energy to flow. And we decide this ourselves every moment of our lives. It’s up to you to live free. (Meditation helps to clean out negative energies, I use rock and stone).

Just a shoutout to my tribe

Hey guys (it’s Southern slang so it means all), I know I have been a bit anti-social, withdrawn, pissy, childish, and certainly many other adjectives, I am a bit transparent no doubt (and I have been dealing with a chemical imbalance known as depression) but I wanted to thank you for still coming to my blog even though I haven’t been going to yours as much lately. I swear I want to read your stuff and make it up to you, there are many things that I want to do that depression is keeping me from. It literally keeps me from life. Most of the time I go without television or playing video games or listening to music or playing my guitar or reading or any of the other pastimes that normally would bring me enjoyment. It’s full on isolation and anxiety. Thanks for not giving up on me (yet). I am still fighting the good fight. I sometimes leave bad crumbs. I’m sorries. Forgives me? xx

Dirt

Got his hand on my throat with every word
Got his squeeze on my pump with every hurt
Got his eye on the prize if ever I’m sure
And with the right ingredients just maybe a cure

Got his hand on the ready to offer comfort
Got my mind on the question though maybe he answered
She’s got her nose in the air as if she’s the expert
And she cries for his heart like a rich man now beggared

Got his tongue on the bottle so maybe it slurred
And my outrage is written though normally censored
But he claims that he loves me and I’m certain she heard
And so I do my best to not blind her with dirt

© Delia Ross. 2019

Holy Hour

Let me just write as I see
Without form, elegance or rule

Let me pass them over to you
A gift or curse, I know not anymore

They are not here to ridicule
But I kissed them all just so

That they might fill the sadness
And remove the space for madness

That you may find some light for you to grow
So from my soul I give you seed

It comes with all the things you need
And you won’t need to feel so insecure

This is our holy hour
Love for only you to devour

What other reason need there be?
I am there and you are here with me

So take the ache now from the lead
And spill with ink these words instead

(And make them last permanently)

I love you most so step back from the edge
And now is all the time we ever get

It’s best you come down from the ledge
And remove me from your pages of regret

Erase the wound, under the Moon
Remember that I’ll see you soon

I’ll be around when you want to resume
Our love is sheltered from doom

© Delia Ross. 2019

Deliaology

So I write a bit of poetry
Do you think that makes you know me?
Or from what I drop in my story
You’re an expert at the knowing

So you think that I’m messed up
Or that you have a better cup
You scream “now” and watch me jump
Then disappear after I get hurt

You think you know me all so well
Because I let you see my hell
You think you know what rings my bell
Or if I smile I’m feeling well

You think you have me figured out
Or what to do to make me shout
That I’m unholy or too devout
Or that you made me take this route

You think I’m warm when I am cold
Or it’s the only story told
You think it wrong when I am bold
You pay with lies instead of gold

You think I’m high when I am crying
You think I live while I am dying
You think my love is undermining
Or that I’m never really trying

You think I’m strong when I am weak
I’ve got it all so you think
I don’t deserve what I seek
And you hear words I never speak

© Delia Ross. 2019

Spoken word of this coming soon…

Queen of the Knight

You sit there idle
With eyes that cut through the night
To your own doubt a disciple
Then you repeat the cycle

As if frightened or incapable
Without, dream or sight
A tongue now insatiable
But never one replaceable

You watch with eyes of glass
Through the crack hides your light
As the hours quickly pass
Your regrets grow with mass

In her silhouette forms a mirror
Of a Queen and a Knight
Where he can feel her nearer
And her words run clearer

She is a patient Queen
With eyes in the Moonlight
With every command he grows more clean
Whatever his direction is where she will lean

Her heart is a sword
And a Queen never quits a fight
She gives him love as a reward
To find her,he needs to move forward

© Delia Ross. 2019

Truth Comes Hard

Truth came hard like thunder, the sky opened her eyes, flush with rage, she whipped across the night, striking melodies of discord, a witness to betrayal, an immediate downpour of reason, she licks blood from the spear of doubt, her shout echoes into the distant memory of what was, what ever could be, lies dance in ballerina shoes into neverland, but truth comes hard like thunder. I open my gates to her fury, for she is my sister and cry together we did.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Early morning thoughts of truth in my pjs… plus an early morning snap while still sleepy-eyed cuz I wake up like this… messy & honest (it’s a lonely place to be amongst a world of lies).

Fog

Here comes the dark
Creeping like a serpent
Like a thick, dark fog
It twists as a vine in my heart

She trades sex for love
He follows the current
Laps it like a dog
Ignoring my love above

She visits his dock
Sees behind the curtain
And I a slave or dove
Without a tongue to talk

Here, there, everywhere
She is lurking
Like a black smog
And I an angel without prayer

Eyes that burn with what it sees
Hands that never stop yearning
Tongues reciting the wrong epilogue
One soul left crying on her knees

© Delia Ross. 2019

Kites

His words take me to such heights
Atmospheres I have never flown

In moments I am taking flights
Through fields of the unknown

My soul must look like the Northern Lights
I wonder if to him I glow

And if it is to me he writes
It’s not possible this I know

But that’s a doubt for different nights
When we’re flying over the Arctic Zone

His words as invitation invites
Thaw the places I have froze

For in his words I take deep plights
Blooming from the ashes where I’ve grown

The way his words in me incites
The rise of a feather, not the weight of stone

I take it in, I take the sights
My life less monochrome

Our souls tangled together like kites
My eyes engaged completely where you roam

© Delia Ross. 2019

Kinesis

I wish I could pull him in
Give him a kiss
Or free him of sin
I wish it wasn’t like this
I’m not even sure what I miss
I keep running back to his abyss
His energy is kinesis

He doesn’t need us here
We circle like a sphere 
We gather atmosphere
Into his space we steer
His distance isn’t near
He’s more than a light-year
His silence we all fear
My soul still sent out a flare

His absence I can’t dismiss
At war with his own violence
Alone in his own silence
So lost and without guidance
Impenetrable like a diamond
But love doesn’t require science
And so we all persist –
Even though he doesn’t exist

© Delia Ross. 2019

Emotional Cargo

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from going down a path I never grow
Then I’d never sneer when I see an old photo
I’d never ever wonder who I’d be without the woe

I wish I didn’t know what it is that I know
I’d stop myself from packing all of this emotional cargo
I seem to carry it with me no matter where it is I go
I’d gladly give it to you but there’s no place left to stow

© Delia Ross. 2019

Cross Your Mind

Crossed our wires, wrong hands for hire
and now they’re blaming me

Shooting blanks and loading tanks
with riots in the street

I’d rather bid my precious hours
where two lovers greet

And if it seems it’s worth my time,
perhaps I’ll move my feet

Into the light, we sail tonight
I brought for us a treat

You’re feeling sour, my mood can tower
it’s best that we shall meet

I promise skies, and never lies
we can be discrete

You can’t deny, I’m on your mind
I think that’s pretty neat

© Delia Ross. 2019

Made of Steel

Lay down your guards
I’ll lay down my shield
I’m not here to wound
To punish or kill

Distance can be measured in yards
There is still so much that I haven’t revealed
Place a new bet or just lay down your cards
Everything must be of our own free will

I’ve been getting drunk on the wrong boulevards
Spending time lost, crying and roaming the field
Most of the time I forget to send my regards
Too broken and shattered and trying to heal

Everyone warned me that life would be hard
Your death opened wounds that never have healed
I’m just a gal that most disregards
Or maybe they think we’re all made of steel

© Delia Ross. 2019