Hi. How are you? Keeping safe? I’ve been trying to enjoy my summer by going on bike rides with my dog but it’s been raining like crazy around here. He loves to go on rides and I love taking him. He turned nine years old last week.
I haven’t been blogging as much, there’s little inspiration coming in. Just feeling absolutely drained and needing a break from the blogging sphere. I’ve honestly needed a break from everything in life. I miss travel, food, gigs, friends. This quarantine sucks and isolation has actually been harder for my depression. On the upside, Twitching has been fun.
Now that I’ve got on Twitch, I’ve been live streaming more. The app is so intricate, there is so much I’m still trying to learn. I’ve been working towards the affiliate goals, please give me a follow on my channel and help me reach 50 followers (7/50 currently)! 🙏❤🙏 I’m super shy, but pushing through boundaries. I play other games and I’ll get around to showing those off soon. I’m going to live stream other stuff than just games but I’m still learning the ropes on the platform.
I just want to open up and start sharing more of my life with you. So give me a follow over there if any of this interest you. If you have an Amazon Prime account you can connect your Twitch account and then you can actually subscribe to me (but I have to reach 50 followers before I can have subscribers).
Thank you to everyone who’s been checking out my channel!! It’s honestly helping me not be so stir-crazy!! Sending you lots of love!!
I woke up like dis! No filter Monday (go with me here, in isolation, all the days are the same). I know, I’m always a day late and a dollar short. It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I normally do them on Instagram but Instagram wants to zoom the photos so I decided I’m going to do it on my blog today. No filter, no fancy lighting, no special camera tricks, no makeup, no plastic, no dye, no unique location, no cool clothing, not even coffee. Alas, just me early in the mornings and my eyes are still sleepy as I type this. Just plain and boring me. Freckles and hazel eyes, as I was born eons ago. And believe me it was eons ago. Decades upon decades. Oh, I feel a poem coming. Anyhoo. To be fair, many people have tried to change me over the years by pushing plastic on me (I still refuse to have any plastic on me because I like to feel my surroundings, therefore plastic surgery or fake nails, fake eyelashes, or any other fake stuff will never be part of my existence, sorry not sorry). I still get complaints of today that I don’t wax my eyebrows or get fake tans so I look like the color orange. I tried fake nails once for 2 weeks and I couldn’t feel a thing I touched and my fingernails themselves couldn’t breathe, gross. Plastic limits your sensories. There’s a disconnect from your soul. And there’s actually a movement that’s forming where women are getting their breast implants removed so that they can feel good again because they’re lethargic all the time and they can’t feel their surroundings. And dudes wonder why they can’t make their girl cum. Maybe if you stop pushing them to be fake they could feel things again. I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion but I’ve literally had guys tell me that they don’t like my boobs because they’re not fake. How dare you. Like, I’m a real individual. Don’t fucking diss me because I don’t live up to your standards of what real should be. You should never body shame a woman because they choose to not have their body parts cut off and removed. Like, I even breastfed my child an entire year. How dare you. Stop peer pressuring women into getting plastic surgery and body shaming them. How dare you. I’ve actually had to push through a lot of traumas because of people body shaming me for being real. How dare you. Anyway, it hasn’t been easy but alas I am 41 years old and still 100% natural. And being unmarried is a choice. A CHOICE. I am a fiercely strong and fiery independent woman. Hear me roar. Ahem, so now that I got that off my chest, I kinda feel better. Isn’t that kinda the entire purpose for writing? And I know some of my opinions aren’t popular but I’m not going to silence my voice any longer. But also, if I don’t learn to love myself I’m going to always be chasing after people who don’t love me as well. That ends today. So when you see me liking my own post or commenting to myself, it’s called self-love and you should try it.
P.S. I am in no way a vain person. And if body morphing is your thing cool, I support you. It’s your body. I just don’t feel like men/women/society should peer pressure women into doing it which has been my experience and it’s happened so many times and I’ve even had women complain that I don’t have a tan or my eyebrows waxed etc… the only modifications that I have and will likely get more of are tattoos and piercings. I gave up dying my hair as a resolution this year and so far I’ve stuck to it but I’m definitely not going to apologize that my hair color kind of looks faded. It’s also in its growing out phase. I took a razor to the side of my head last year, so I still have a good portion of my head with maybe 3 or 4 inches grown in. My hair is a mess. 😃
I currently weigh in at 120 lb at height 5’6″ and tiny Cinderella feet…
P.S.S. I’m getting ready to kick off an intense workout routine cuz I wanna cosplay and look gooddddd. I still need to tone up. I lost over 60 pounds (my last relationship was a nightmare and by the time I went no contact I weighed in at over 176 lb). If you are dating a narcissist go no contact and never look back. I did. And he still spies on me. Hoping he gets the *cough cough* I’m not even going to say it out loud cuz I don’t want that kind of karma on me but you know what I want to say… 😂
P.S.S. it takes a lot of courage to be yourself these days. 👍
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Shadows reveal everything. I posted stuffs on my Instagram. I play on an Epiphone. I know a few chords. You can listen on Tuners. I’m busy doing stuffs. Forgive my absence of your blogs (or commenting in general). I’m newly on Patreon as a writer if you’d like to support my creative endeavors. There’s only one me and I run all my social media accounts, but I do work hard to put out good content. Here’s some photos of me without makeups (sorry, self-loathing phase AKA depression).
I’ve gained at least 5 lbs from eating donuts I’m sure… (I weigh in at 125 pounds currently, petite as fuck). No filter. HAIRS 😍I posted this and a few others on Instagram but Insta zooms them. So here it is with my face. I’m sure it was better without. 🙂
G’nite! Time for baths. Probably should have cleaned up first. Dirty gal (more like just tired and achy). 🙂
I was gonna go to the world’s most famous beach and then to a doggy park but it decided to rain and so dancing my blues away to Zeromancer instead in my bedroom, cuz y’all don’t know this good stuff, do you? 4 minutes of me sweating in my bedroom on an early Saturday morning is everything you’ve always wanted to see, right? (By the time the video uploads it’ll be mid afternoon). I have terrible stage fright. And I’m super shy. But this is a Norwegian band that I’ve been digging for quite some time and this is one of my favorite songs by them.
So I’m okay, if anyone was wondering. And by okay I mean, I’m still fighting the good fight. And to be honest, this blog and you guys are my only lifeline. And yeps, you met me at a messy period in my life. And I’ve already had so many give up on me. I’m trying not to give up on me too. And I know my body isn’t in its best shape but does that mean I have to stand behind the curtain because I don’t meet your expectations of perfection. But also, you could have just loved me how I deserved.
Kill your senses You might be right Hold your fire I’ll take you higher Never drop We’ll never stop Tar for feathers Blood for honey Milk for money Isn’t it funny how it hurts How it hurts You never see me make The same mistake twice You never see a tear Coming out of these eyes You never see me beg For another shot And you never see me change Into something I’m not Famous last words Stare at someone You used to know Laughs at you Turns around and fade away If only I could see it that way Kill your senses It can’t be right Isn’t it funny how it hurts You never see me make The same mistake twice You never see a tear Coming out of these eyes You never see me quit See me disengage And you never see me spit in your face Out of rage Famous last words
To everyone who says, “she’s too skinny, she’s too fat, she doesn’t have a body to be wearing that” err kiss off (anyway I just wanted you to see how long my hair is getting, I’ve been growing it out since I left the Army in 2017 after 15 hard years of service plus a war). It’s nearly down to my arse. 🤓
Nocturnal mistress Tell me about all the things you hate about me again… Absolutely no filter and me as of twenty minutes ago Where most of the magic happens (or crying)
After dark is my favorite time Tell me do they fill the places I’m void in you? Do you think you could ever love me too?
Yes? No? Maybe? Am I only loved in half light? I always dream of you xxoo So goodnight, sweet dreams…
I struggle with being good because it only brings me loneliness. I thought good women made good men? You know, like a girl bringing out the best in a man, so he could be good for her? I’m seriously giving up. I get zero nurturing in life. I barely receive likes on my post. I feel like the output is greater than the reward. And I don’t want to have to take my clothes off for attention. So I guess I’m just going to die. There’s just not much in life for me anymore. I’m sorry but life is just so tough and when it comes to love there isn’t enough.
I’m stunned my blog is nearing 25K, it just hit 20K! APPRECIATION POST COMES WITH SMILES! THANK YOU ALL FOR READING MY POEMS!!!! Below lies a happy Poe, errr Delia.
peace, luvs, happiness
I may not be perfectsI’m worth about twenty cents currently…Maybe a quarter if I count my pennies…. 🤓
Hazel eyes, lip stain, and natural rosey cheeks is how you’ll find me on most days But also my hair is getting longKiss me the song of your heart Let’s both jump from this boat There’s a chance we may get hurt But darling it will if we don’t
PoeEternal 