I realize now that it has been a year nearly to the day when I went no contact from you. My heart is still broken. But it’s been breaking since the very first time you hurt me. And each time after. And you know the things you did. I’m still trying to process and heal from all the emotional & mental damage you caused.

I still have all these virtual things of our times together, too. I don’t know what to do with them. And I don’t look at them. I don’t listen. But they haunt me. You haunt me. I can’t even look at that girl. I don’t know who she was. I was lost and in hell. You made my life hell and on purpose. See, that’s the part that really gets me. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that you are a sociopath. Others are coming to see.

You nearly destroyed me in those 4 years.

I guess when you think you love a devil, the devil will change. Empaths want to change the world, nurture it, give it love. Tame it. Free it. Love it.

Instead, we find ourselves breaking & changing & becoming lost. No voice, no place of refuge, no safety in our minds.

What an interesting specimen you are though, once I can dissect it all. You are the bottom feeder of hell.

I really don’t think Lu wants you there.

Whatever you are, it’s connected me to who I am. You are a special kind of sick. You gave me Pandora’s Box, I peered inside, I’ve seen the abyss and I know how evil abides. YOU’RE FUCKED.

One day, the evidence surfaces.

And doctors can study your behavior.

I encourage more of your enemies to reach out to me (as they already have). Their privacy will always be respected, but not yours.

Their support has been so appreciated.

Damn, 1 year. One fucking year free from you. From the physical you. But the rest of me is still getting on.

Again, thank you for reminding me that evil exist. I see the world differently now. I remember the pure. I am pure. A true Goddess. I had forgotten her. ♡

#survivingabuse #IwillNotBeSilent #nocontact #1yearfree

There must have been a thousand girls…There now must be a thousand ghouls…

9 thoughts on “This is raw. One year amongst the remains.

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  1. I am a fan of whom you speak of…I found this page by accident and have read through all your comments and poetry. I think people’s comments are disgusting on here. Someone’s personal life and sex preferences should not be scrawled over the internet for others to see. I think it’s a form of bullying and it really hits a nerve for me. I would hate for this to happen to me. I understand from your poetry that you have been hurt deeply by someone and I think your writing is beautiful but please stop with dragging somones name through the dirt in an effort to get people to realise how bad they are. Let people find that out for themselves. I’m very sorry you have had a bad experience with love and I hope one day you can find peace with this in other ways rather than wishing death on people, it’s not good for you to hold onto so much hate. I’ve never been in this kind of relationship but I have had things that have happened to me that made me so angry, desperate and in so much pain that I felt I could not cope anymore. This person’s music actually saved my life and I know it has done so much for many others, without this music I may have never made it. I’m sorry he ruined your life but he has saved mine and for that I will be eternally grateful. You’re writing is incredible and I would love to see it grow happier as you learn to let go of the pain. I know it’s your page and you can write what you like but it is coming up on Google searches for anyone to see (like me) and the things you and others say should only be amongst friends it’s not the rest of the world’s place to know these things..It’s called gossip.


  2. Didn’t bother to read. Until you are an abuse survivor, get back with me. I have been writing poetey since around the age of 12, and do not intend to stop anytime soon. The person you speak of is a MONSTER, that thing is barely human, less than surely. Please kindly fuck off my blog now.


  3. Wow, if that’s how you treat people who actually praise your poetry and like it! There’s nothing wrong with the content of your poetry. It’s the name dropping and comments underneath it. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship but I’ve met abusive types that I have had warning signs from and I’ve got away from them so maybe it’s by chance I haven’t been or maybe intuition, It’s not a competition anyway, we all feel the same pain when something or someone hurts us and I have said sorry you have been through that. I will do as you ask and fuck off because I respect you don’t need any shit from me on top of your life. I hope you find peace soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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