Chill out. I talk to God daily. I’m just quarantined. I don’t want him to see me. It’s just a poem.
Baby squirrel brought a boy squirrel around. He had nuts. She’s maybe a few months old, him too. He’s timid and shy. Her pp did not have nuts. Now I’m not an expert on squirrel biology or anything – but she’s probably going to have babies.
They love whatever I feed them.
Lizard climbed the drain pipe to the roof, he also jumped and climbed the tall palm tree. I was amazed by lizard’s skills, not getting blown away by the wind, or eaten by a big bird
The neighbors think I’m wacko
I don’t think they can see the wildlife the way I do
Red bird has been appearing so I took her some seeds
They are eating my own personal organic stash of nuts, rice, seeds, all the things
Gonna make them some peanut butter treats soon – the butter with nuts n seeds rolled in balls. Just for them.
Nothing that I put out stays out
It’s foraged immediately
I like bonding with nature
But I have to deal with the hellhound now
He drains my energy like a black hole
I figured out how to put the blinds in such a way that I can see out too much – but you can’t see in from the sidewalk
Insects are animals – even those bugs we hate – I bet they were huge back in the day – but the elite love dropping bombs and depleting our o2 (and thus size)
My competition mostly at age 44 still ovulating – is a bunch of obese confused girls sex bots who probably removed their ability to have children
And if they haven’t yet, they will in their 30s, Hallelujah!!!!
YOU STILL GOT SOMETHING THAT THE MEN WANT AND DESIRE
AND IF NOT, YOU STILL GOT SOMETHING GOD WANTS AND DESIRES
DON’T LEAP FROM THE BRIDGE YET BABE
COLLEGE IS A SCAM
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU WERE SEXUALLY MOLESTED
YOU STILL HAVE WORTH WITH DEBT AND SAGGY BOOBS!!!!!
I GOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP OPENING YOUR EYES AND REACHING FOR THE PHONE
SOCIETY IS TOXIC
YOU HAVE WORTH BABY GIRL
I’M SORRY THESE DEMONS KNOW NO BOUNDS
I KNOW IT HURTS
YOU’RE RIGHT TO BE PISSED
BABE 144!!!!
“I see dead people”
They’re everywhere!!!!
LOST SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE ELITES WERE PLAGUED WITH PARASITES
THE WORLD TODAY IS PLAGUED BY PARASITES
If you’d like to not be obese black walnut wormwood if you’d like to not be dying of cancer black walnut wormwood if you’d like to not have IBS black walnut wormwood if you’d like to live a little bit longer black walnut wormwood
How long before it’s taken off the market because I told my fucking enemy the big secret magic ingredient to this shit and he wrote it down, he wrote it fucking down, he wrote it down! I blogged about it immediately cuz the entire hour session he didn’t fucking write anything down until those three words came out! he didn’t give a fuck about the other detox medication, it was only those three words he wrote down
BLACK WALNUT WORMWOOD
WORTH OBSERVING AND NOTING
I OBSERVE EVERYTHING
And if I’m angry over the insensitive conditioning these faggot boys are doing
Maybe God is too
JUDGMENT HOUR IS HERE
GUESS WHOSE EYES HAVE SOME FUCKING WORTH
“But we like virgins”
I’M GONNA RIP YOUR PENSIS OFF
*goes back to sleep*
I HATE TIKTOK AND INSTAGRAM
I’M ONLY THERE FOR YOU
I DON’T KNOW HOW ELSE TO REACH YOU
The reason I’ve been confused on whether you should get right with God or me because same 🙄
And yep he can strike me dead any moment
I AM ONLY A VESSEL
*goes back to delusions and sleep*
I’m gonna burn it all down
Apophis is coming
We can’t leave earth
The establishment are scared
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF CUZ MONEY IS NARCISSISM IS A MANMADE DEVIL SOCIEY DOGMA
Sorry
Channeling 😑
*breathes on window, draws weird symbol*
I DON’T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING MEANS
THE GREAT FILTER IS REAL
THE SUN IS ELECTRICAL
WE LIVE ON A WATER WORLD
No one ever said, “maybe earth was icy and smashed into other objects (uranus) pushing it closer to the sun and thus life”
It’s the demon neighbors don’t chill out with making all this unnecessary goddamn noise
Oh, they are working in groups to rob single women, elderly, and disabled
These motherfuckers won’t hesitate to shoot me in my back to steal my bike
COPS ARE DOING THEIR JOB SPREADING PROPAGANDA
DON’T BE FOOLED BY THE CROCODILE TEARS
ASIAN DICTATORS IN UNIFORM
That black guy was worried about getting caught with his weapon when his life was ending
I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR
I WILL SKIN ME A HEAD OR TWO
SHOW ME HOW MUCH I DO NOT MATTER
You love your virgin mentality so much that 68% of the species has gone extinct so fuck your goddamn propaganda ideology fuck you fuck you fuck you
It’s conditioning these other monsters to “ruin us” and sacrifice us to the dark entity early on
I CAN’T IMPRINT ON THE DEVIL
THE DEVIL CANNOT IMPRINT ON ME
FUCK YOU
We are organic computers and if the government doesn’t get their toxic shit together there’s going to be dire consequences
DIRE
THE SEVENTH SEAL IS OPEN
(There’s nowhere safe for me online social media wise. It’s so toxic for an angel) 😑
It’s only hell because we’ve been in a 6000-year-old worldwide prison system based on that BOOK
And that same establishment continues to tweak its policies until you’ll believe they are the creator of you, with your OOOH AHHHH Fitbits
They use gaslighting, lovebombing, triangulation to control
With politicians, actors, influencers, teachers, preachers, cops
It’s disgusting
“But if you work hard you can own a home”
That was the Great Lie the Boomer generation sold
Then Ghosted an entire fucking generation after we’ve been the most dedicated, the most hard working, and ORIGINAL
And we watch all the younger generation’s steal our fucking content and give us no credit – and the Boomers reward them with free housing or financial assistance
The rest of us are out here winging it, living on the fucking streets, in our campers, eating one meal a day, so we can buy some fucking land before it’s too late…
Starting communities
I don’t want 5G or anywhere around it
It’s a cancer
Fuck this New Age digital world, I don’t want any part of this future
Where I don’t even have freedom of speech or my art protected
These men preyed and preyed and preyed sexually upon my best friend who died by suicide and she was 13
I’ll never recover
Her birthday was May 1
She died April 7, 1993 (just shy of her 14th birthday)
357 magnum to the head
Lost the last letter she wrote me
But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and if I had pictures of her I wouldn’t have them stored away like everybody else who wants to forget her
And Miley Ray Cyrus sounds just like her but Miley Ray Cyrus wasn’t born but we did get to meet her dad together Billy Ray Cyrus so that was pretty fun
Mems.
There’s a picture of them floating around somewhere, not online or anything
We met lots of bands together
Pre cellphone days
I can barely even prove that she existed, there’s just this hole in my gut
They preyed upon me too baby girl
This world is too much
You were so brave
Braver than me
I wish I had your courage to die
The Judge knew I was suicidal in 2018 and wouldn’t even talk to me until I took a few breaths
She said in front of the entire courtroom that I looked like I was about to jump from the bridge behind me
Also, I had a weapon upon arrival that I didn’t know – when trying to enter – and the cop repeated the question 3 times – I laughed – “wait, do I have one?” and I did. A little mini nail file thingy that I got in the mail by the Wounded Warrior project lol
So before I could even go into the courtroom I had to walk my little mini knife all the way back to my vehicle… and then return
And by the time I made it to the Judge – good lord the humility of being sued
By the end of the session we had the entire courtroom laughing, me and the Judge..
She directly explained to me how they could get my money tho… which is untouchable
Like if I wanted to buy a plane ticket right now and just fly somewhere, the government could be like oh no oh no you you fucking owe us some money come here bitch we’re going to take your plane flight
But it must suck for the men who want to prey on me and take my money because I can get married and divorced and they can’t touch it
You can’t touch what I earned but they can keep raising my rent and the food costs… FYI
The suicide rate continues to increase among military and Veterans
Somebody recently sent me 20 bucks and I bought me some medicinals 👍
I know this isn’t my best work, I just woke up crying and I decided to put it into a poem so I just freestyle got this off my chest…
I’m okay 👍👍
Saddest girl in the world (squared)
Side note: I’m making right with my creditors and it was only for a little bit. But they can’t directly dock my check.
“But the vax will keep you from being hospitalized” says my still living sister who is triple vaccinated and boosted and has had COVID a few times now and “is fine”
My life expectancy went from 60 some years to 2-5 years because the vaccine gave me heart inflammation
I’m lucky to be alive
I still feel electrical charges go off randomly, it hurts, it’s not as deep or painful, I think my heart is welding itself better and I’m gonna keep giving it nuts and water and beans and not modified foods
The modified foods have been designed to assist in the blood clots which formed in my body
I had a big sucker moving around, especially after shot number 2
My EKG, my ultrasound, and another test showed my heart to be severely damaged, and my left lung not fully inflating
And then that other thing I was battling decided to take Center front stage because my immune system was compromised from the vaccine
I’ve been staying away from the Publix bakery 😑
In fact, there isn’t much remaining in the grocery store that I can buy because it if it has an ingredient that I don’t recognize, it’s poison
If it’s modified corn starch or modified anything, it’s poison
If it’s white sugar, poison
And I realize there’s nothing for you to feed your children but if you keep buying them all that pretty stuff, it’s poison
Poison poison poison
This is an extermination
I have been avoiding fast food for as best as I can
Sticking mostly to the good nuts, no soda, beans, sweet and red potatoes, wild blueberries, beets, sunshine, minimal negative foods and thinking, lots of water (squared)
Replace “nothing fun” with “nothing poison”
Nothing to mix with the vaccines to give me blood clots
One heart chamber closed off and the other enlarged
That’s how big my will is to love you and not die
Every moment my mind covered in you
But having me go to this hospital in that hospital in this clinic and that clinic and finally I was like “no, I’m not going to get a stupid stress test on my heart, I’m going on bedrest permanently” and staying away from y’all and I’ve pretty much gone no contact from VA…
I was having mini pre-heart attacks every fucking day and in the most pain I’ve ever been in and they want to stress my heart out to see “what was going on”, are you fucking stupid? It’s the fucking vaccines, that’s what’s going on, the first vaccine caused my heart to have blood pressure issues, my BP DROPPED
I was dying
That’s why my body felt cold
That’s why I could sit in hot water for 10 minutes and touch my skin and still feel dead
I knew some shit was off
But then three weeks later I went in for shot number two even though I didn’t want to get it and I kept asking over and over again “are you sure I should go through with the second dose because my blood pressure dropped on the first one” and not one doctor or nurse looked through my EKG results to give them to me
Which the VA failed to mail me, nor my doctor call to give me the results, until after having issues after the second vaccine
“What, you mean you’re still not dead”
“Well I don’t like how your heart looks for your age”
*proceeds to order me a bunch of testing and thangs which made me worse*
I don’t know if the nebulizer helped me or was my fucking demise there for that moment of doom
But when I got to the worst stage of where I was at because she took me off my fucking medication without my permission, they denied seeing me at the VA after I got worse, and told me to go to the ER, that’s when I took matters into my own hands and saved my own life and here we are
Might have only bought me 28 hours, 28 months later, 2-5 years
But if I were to go out there and get boosted, my life expectancy is likely zero
My Asian doctor at the VA is pushing for me to get boosted, but I haven’t even recovered from heart inflammation 👎👎
I went no contact from my sister who is still alive because she’s so plugged into the system and a sheep and I’m gonna wind up like my dead 45-year-old sister if I hang around them
Nobody in my family has even acknowledged that I have heart inflammation, nobody has left me a basket of soup at my door, nobody has sent me a card or a letter
Everybody keeps telling me I need to get boosted and to stop wearing my mask
I keep telling people that I’m unreachable and to fuck off
I’m wearing my mask 😷
I was only up all night freaking out because I was in a crowd of people at the beach yesterday unmasked
And so I won’t be doing that again for awhile
Now I really appreciated receiving snowcones and all sorts of other little live gifts, but I’m not dying for views
Also, Bob Saget did not die from a head wound
He had heart complications following the vaccine but he was sacrificed to the dark entity and these monsters are getting away with murder
“The insurance will cover it” as if karma and God don’t exist
You have choice on good or bad
It’s basically the trolley problem
It’s basically an active or passive choice
C-3PO does not have a soul and therefore will see a thief that steals from the company a better bargain than the other employee who loses more money making mistakes
The establishment only care about their monetary gains
I want to build my own great wall from China
How bout dem apples
It’s true I ignored all the red flags and walked into this cave on my own
I’m sure at some point John was screaming at the fact that where he was at wasn’t on his map
“But some details happened down there that will never be disclosed…” Michael Leavitt
Oh yeah? Like what? The fact that you sacrificed him and got away with murder?
I want to do very bad things to him
Eye for an eye
Anyhoo
You should probably stay away from modified junk food (the french fries served at McDonald’s aren’t served anywhere else because of the chemicals they put in it which causes cancer, so the french fries served in America aren’t the same french fries served in France, keep that in mind next time you go purchase those expensive fries, there’s a cost)
And they had the audacity to raise the price on their french fries 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Stop feeding the rich
Stop feeding yourself, your family, and your children poison
I wish it was opium, but it’s not, it’s probably giving you IBS from what I’m hearing out there with so many people having GI issues
Get rid of your doctor, big pharma, and your diet
I promise the addiction fog will start to lift and it will be easier to make your food choices
Harder though because there isn’t much left to buy that the FDA hasn’t allowed them to add additional poison
We’ve got to stop letting anybody come over here and vote
Biden is letting any and all through
Democrats make up mostly immigrants and the children of immigrants (not opinion)
Please, I need you to vote this time if you didn’t last time
And please, for the love of humanity, VOTE BIDEN OUT
Hollywood is running the White House, it’s very clear
NASA stated we don’t have the technology to get back to the moon and that they lost it
You believe we deserve all this inflation so Eon can get to Mars when we’ve never seen anyone on the Moon with advanced technology
We barely had cell phones in the 60s and I’m supposed to believe that we made it to the moon huh
When NASA have stated that the evidence they give us is “artist rendered” and CGI
NASA is Hollywood
Wake up!
It’s ridiculous that pharmaceutical advertising is allowed with our television programming but not in other countries 🚩🚩🚩
I’m tired of the establishment creating fight or flight mode 24/7 and keeping us in a state of pandemic
I think we had supercomputers a long long time ago
We’ve been living through a dark age because of said shit happening again
What’s the point in putting in a president every 4 to 8 years when the same 13 families in charge have been running things for 2000+ years with gaslighting and indoctrination
I don’t wanna die by suicide because the Democrats take my benefits and I become homeless again
I don’t want to be sacrificed to the dark entity
I just want to stay in the light and his love 😩
His love is the bestest drug
The best of the bested
I didn’t even know bested was a word but here we go…
Still learning thangs
And because I have a brain injury sometimes you have to relearn over and over again 🤪
Still recovering from the heart inflammation 👍
Listen to what your body needs
Stop letting others steal your energy
You’re made of light
Neurons firing 24/7
You need to give your body the good fuel
Laughter, poetry, love
Good deeds
Positive thinking and affirmation
Keep climbing!
You’re on a spiritual journey
As long as you are breathing, you are still in the game
It’s not too late to change your game
I love you 💕
I fell from the heavens to let you know that God still loves you and I even jumped in the game early
Only 6% of the population have my blood type
I’m not donating my body to science unless they pay me while I’m alive
And the contract becomes null and void if I die prematurely
But I’m going to hide my body in the swamp when I fucking die, you’re not gonna find me, you’re not getting my blood and you’re not gonna fucking clone me and I know that you already are, you’re already doing something because they took all of that shit when I joined the Army and anytime I’ve gone and given them blood at the VA or anytime anytime anytime anything…
There’s probably already more than one version of me that exist which is why I know that things happen before they do
It’s probably why I was pissed off before I was even born and I remember a period of awareness before birth
I wasn’t happy
Probably hated even worse the family I was about to be born under
Got sick of being squished, like how much longer
*bang bang kick kick I want out, let me out*
And basically since the age of about five or 10 I’ve been suicidal and depressed trying to end my life and predicting that I would either die from heart failure or suicide
Suicide is feeling less scary with all the other shit happening around me but but there’s a big but if I die that way
I just feel like God was like, ‘sure, you can go back to train to be a spirit guide under two conditions; you have to train to be a soldier but you can’t actually kill anybody or self-destruct’
Also God: “earth is overrun with demons and gaslit as heaven”
*kicks me outta pearly gates*
Me: “wait, you didn’t tell me that parttttttttttt” 😩
*crash lands*
*gets brain injury*
Yeps, going good so far, got a badbadass heart and brain
You are one of God’s creatures and he wants you to win
You’re here for the experience and stop making it so easy for the devil
You mimic everything he does like breathing
You need sunlight
Babe, get some sun! Remove the VR headset!
Dear Lord,
I really hope I can feel his lips just once before I die
I would have a better chance at climbing Mount Everest than ever getting to feel his kiss, but I lose all hopelessness when I think of this…
We both hate life so much but are stubborn, so want to see it through to the end (or at least not live life without the other)
Scary tide
But we have to stay quarantined from each other because he’s pure blood and I’m now the vaxxxxed and half-zombie 😩
But my blood is one of the rarest and eldest (only 6-11% of the population have my blood type) and I already am part werewolf and part vampire (so hello from your favorite living-dead-girl) 🧟♀️
I know thangs and sometimes my spirit guides are the dead 👀
I’m complicated and absolutely different from you
But I won’t live life without him
I will fucking drown myself in the ocean and it won’t be hard to do right now 👀
One slip and I’m gone
I’m literally burying my feet in the sand as the tide is rushing away with so much force and I’m afraid of what’s under the sand but the crazy thing is, there hasn’t been any wildlife at all and that doesn’t help my fear factor any 👀
It’s usually common for a school of fish to swim past you or you know things to bump into you
But the vibe is all off
There’s negative energy when I visit the beach now
The clouds even spell doom
No lifeguard on duty and red warning flags flying high (that already put the fear into me)
This is my life now since getting the Moderna vaxxx
I haven’t finished my nails yet 😌
Crawling to my death
It’s a bit underwhelming
Not impressed
But trying to give my body positive vibes for healing
I found myself in this mess because the CDC gaslit us about the “safety” of the Moderna vaccines. And they sat on information that they knew until enough people died that they had to put out a warning and they still didn’t include me in the age group of people with heart inflammation and I also have a left lung that isn’t inflating all the way
I also have a sac in my heart filled with fluid, presumably a heart clot (because that’s what these vaccines cause) or either the virus, either in which my body should absorb
I’m a fucking zombie now
But I knew you’d be too much of a coward to crawl in that fucking hole and rescue me and I also knew you’d probably not be able to end my suffering or stop me from dying from my mysterious death
So I jumped into this timeline to prevent that
I don’t know how many years it cost me but I’m not gonna live to see 50
End of dose 2
I don’t know if I’m gonna do this every six hours
But I got myself in this mess getting vaccinated
That doesn’t mean I deserve to fucking die
I probably will tho 👀
Heart failure
Cardiac arrest
And it’s going to hurt and the only thing I’ll be thinking about is the pain and oh shit this is the end
As that was my life every second when my heart swelled up and was having electrical charges (it was welding itself after a clot tried to pass on different occasions, and that in itself was a different pain entirely, also one of my paths got closed off, my body shut down, I was lethargic and cold, my heart didn’t see my skin as a vital organ, it was having difficulty pumping blood throughout my body, so I kept a heating pad on my heart which helped my anxiety, pain, and breathing, so my primary care doctor at the VA – who is a female doctor – told me to keep doing that and she ordered me a few different tests and when I showed up to a civilian clinic and told an Indian doctor that I was using the pad, m he told me the heating pad shouldn’t have any effect on my heart whatsoever – which is absolute bullshit, the heart is a fucking muscle, you fucking gaslighting, lying fucking asshole motherfucker, I’m onto all of y’all)
My body has appreciated good food and rest more so than doctor visits and testing
They gave me poison that said was safe and I believed them and then I found myself stuck and dying and now they’re giving me some more poison and they’re saying it’s going to get me better
👀
Do you remember when the pandemic started a couple years ago and I got struck by lightning in my jeep with my windows down at 80 miles an hour – that’s the day I jumped into this timeline and remember I was going on about Thor doing something to my heart to protect me or to wake me up hum hello
I maybe reading the map wrong
I’m making inaccurate calculations
There’s missing information
Is our universe inside a black hole?
Is this purgatory?
I’ve done this so many times I’m becoming aware?
Are we AI becoming aware?
Is the Great Filter upon us?
Are we the first or last of our kind?
I will never see you again in this form
I’m having a hard time letting you go
I’m having a hard time leaving you
But my breathing hurts
I made some bad choices that cost me my life
Even worse, I wasted all my good years on the wrong people
The wrong jobs
The wrong reasons
And even in my dying there are things in me wanting a chance at life
I’m still capable of making life
Like the salmon swimming upstream to her death
Laying her eggs one last time
There are atoms in me trying to pop into existence
You won’t move an inch if you keep standing still You won’t reach the top from the bottom of a hill You’ve been running in circles just to get a refill You’ve been drinking the bottle but you got love to kill
It did that thang where it published into a draft 👀
Proof I’m stuck in an alternate timeline
So I know that I haven’t told you I loved you in a long time but that’s because I’ve been learning how to hate you but the love spans light-years and you can’t destroy energy 👀
I mean love, you can’t destroy love…
I love you even though you didn’t wish me a happy birthday again
What happened to you, why did you leave? The ocean fills with tears I grieve, I searched for you ’til I found void, I fell for you ‘cuz I’m not poised!
It feels weird to use full on punctuation in my poetry but one of the main reasons I stopped doing it was because someone from another country said it doesn’t translate well in a translator with punctuation and I took that whole heartedly into consideration, secondly poetry is supposed to be freeform and I like to just not use rules because there seems to be a lot of rules for there to not be any… (gaslighting is everywhere huh)
Got an appointment with my primary care doctor tomorrow, will be discussing in person my heart test results (still waiting on results from my heart monitor tho) and discussing options on treatment, so I will update you!
I still have chest pain, fluid in my sac, and a goofy left lung that isn’t inflating fully (along with a list of other side effects)
Y’all remember that film “Signs” by Mel Gibson? Sometimes I think getting struck by lightning in my Jeep, prepared me for this.
I remember blogging about that lightning strike and talking about Brother Thor pinching me to wake me up about something, I just wasn’t sure what.
Maybe, getting struck prepared my heart for what was to come.
But, my holy ghost showed up after I was vaccinated and experiencing a lot more pain than people gaslit me to believe the Moderna vaccines would be
But he showed up and we did things we’d never done before 👀
And I think I probably love him 👀
There are atoms in me trying to reach him 👀
He is keeping me alive 👀
Just waiting to be ghosted, already half dead so dying on the street wouldn’t be hard
But there are things inside me wanting a chance at life 👀
Women can conceive in their 50s
I’m getting so close to that number that dying naked on the street feels like home
I’ve lived a very lonely and sexually deprived existence
I’m not meeting my potential as a child bearing woman
I’ve been having my period since I was 13
Getting pregnant now puts me into the “miracle zone”
I’m turning 43 next week (August 19th) 👀
I didn’t have one birthday card in my mailbox when I checked but goddamn Spectrum I hear from them every other day
They want my business so bad I’m about to go to jail because they won’t stop soliciting me at my home private address
Since when did our home address and our private phone numbers become a tool for spammers and advertisers?
We need some protection as a civilian
It’s getting ridiculous
Born to consume only
I don’t even know why people want to have kids anymore
The game is rigged
Anyhoo, I gotta go talk to my Primary care doctor tomorrow to find out what my life expectancy actually is now, and if there’s hope for a full recovery
I was to do the stress test today but I canceled that bitch yesterday but my doctor already knew about it when she called me. I already told her I wasn’t prepared to do the stress test, she did not give me a hard time or even give her opinion on why I need it. She understood.
I had 2 stress tests I was due to take this week, but no. My body, my choice.
I also need to discuss with my doctor about the booster shots for Covid-19 since soldiers are now being enforced the vaccines, they will soon be pushing that onto the veterans and I’m never getting anything ever put back in my body ever again, so World War III will break out and you will be hearing from me on the top o’clock news if they ever try to fucking push a booster shot into me or deny me service because I don’t want it in my body
I can just feel it though, they’re going to be pushing for those booster shots annually with the flu vaccine (but enforced) and to everybody out there going “but this vaccines are free, it doesn’t cost anything” you are so fucking wrong and don’t understand how life is actually working, Big Pharma is not working for free honey, 9 new billionaires did not evolve out of this mess from nowhere 👀
Politicians are just puppets for what corporations want and corporations control us through spam and advertising which we give them permission for 👀
The constitution is no longer “for the people”
I’ve been saying this over and over since the “Bush 911 signing statements” but you didn’t hear me did you
And you voted for Biden didn’t you?
🙄
I’ll be dead in my grave (that I don’t have because being buried is only for rich people apparently), but I can hear it in my decaying bones, “she was right about everything”
In 200 years, when y’all finally awake, make me the mascot leader please, k, thanx, bye
Turning the big 43 next week! Lucky to still be alive!
Y’all read through all of this and I can already feel people out there going, “she’s 43”???
These things rotate inside at super sonic speeds but it was entirely less traumatic than getting an MRI which made me 1000% claustrophobic when I got one. And the CT scan only took a few minutes.
Now I got a heart monitor glued to me capturing every heartbeat for the next 14 days and this patch cannot be removed by anyone according to this security statement – except my physician. I reckon that there’s some asshole out there that’s probably demanded people to do this which is why it has a warning.
It’ll turn orange and start glowing and beeping if it stops working. So not hearing anything is good.
They say though the patch can get irritating.
And obviously I can’t get it wet. Gotta be careful with the shower or bath.
Dying is so much fun. 👀
It’s also degrading and humiliating but my actual death isn’t something I’ll be able to worry over
Even though we all shit ourselves when we finally kick the bucket 👀
I’m not looking forward to all the disgusting shit that happens after I’m dead and I’m glad I won’t be alive for the humiliation
And I have demanded no funeral or showing so there won’t be any humiliation of only seven people attending and it being only enemies 👀
Poor Edgar Allan Poe tossed in an unmarked box
That actually sounds pretty wonderful and I’ll have an unmarked box myself please 👀
I don’t have a box at all 👀
And since no one is going to visit me in the eternal afterlife, we don’t really need a marked grave. Just drop me in the earth.
My heart is feeling better – as far as the constant throbbing pain goes
The extreme lethargy has not gone away
I still don’t like the taste of food unless it’s junk
There’s this weird metallic taste in my mouth
There’s this taste like my brain chemicals have been messed with
👀
I’m still having chest pain
It’s not as scary bad
Like maybe that heating pad actually has been helping – plus time
I’ve never been so tired in my life
I actually felt my body sweat for the first time today but you know being called a cheap whore doesn’t fucking help the stress
It’s nice to actually feel my feet and armpits get warm
👀
I don’t really like eating food anymore but I’ve been forcing myself to eat
I’m starting to learn that there’s a lot of things I don’t actually like anymore
Like how people use art to harm
Like how banks hide criminal activity
But if I told my doctor I wanted to fucking kill myself they would fucking take me away
Not just any doctor but my fucking therapist- the one person that I should be able to tell anything too – but yet a banker and like anybody can get away with anything – Like moving large lumps of cash but yet my bank will freeze my fucking debit card if I try to spend anything over $500 or $200 -whatever it is, I gotta call and get approval to spend my own goddamn money because it’s been declined and that is embarrassing – wtf
But these bankers and criminals get special treatment?
🧐
Wait – Nothing against you wanting a sex change operation but menthol cigarettes are now banned by the FDA
🧐
Biden wants to nuke Russia
He’s such a good little puppet (I forgive you for voting for him I think)
All the Hollywood anti Russia propaganda
Mark fucking Burgess is still alive
😑
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Oh wait, medical update right 👀
I don’t like how tired I feel all the time
I have three test pending being scheduled -all related to my heart – and I was approved for getting community care – which means I don’t have to drive all the way to Lake Nona 76 miles away one way for just one of those test times 3
Now I’m waiting on community care to call me with the appointments and for the VA to approve it- pay for it – all that fucking shit
It’s actually a relief I don’t have to drive to Lake Nona even though it’s a gorgeous hospital because I-4 is like playing Russian roulette 👀
Nobody around here likes the I-4
Avoid I4 at all costs
👀
Interstate Four
I feel a poem coming on
I hateeeeee the I4
👀
I’m not sure where community care will be, it could be New Smyrna Beach, it could be Ormond Beach, it could be Daytona Beach, I don’t know yet, I hope it will be in my city Daytona Beach.
I don’t think anybody really knows what the fuck they’re doing anymore
I mean there are a few people out there who are really into their job and they’re really good and occasionally you run into those really good people and that’s why you wanna fucking support them
I’m praying my doctor never leaves! 🙌
You feels?
👀
I’m 4 weeks in now after dose 2 (I think) But she told me recently at my appointment that the signs and symptoms I’m having can go on for weeks (I believe she said 6 to 8 or longer)
I’m ready to ride my bike
Be active again
Rebound!
Cosplay!
But I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open
The last couple times I tried to push myself a little bit around the house my heart started hurting worse
I really don’t wanna die over this
So even tho the pain has lessened – and even my anxiety a little – I’m still having other symptoms.
I’m not on vaca
I’ve done a lot of crying over this because it’s been very very scary
👀
I’m still begging my kid not to get it
And now I’m reminding my kid that their dead daddy was an anti-vacciner, so now I’m playing that fucking card
👀
And like most kids these days (and adults) we live on pizza, tacos, sugar, and salt. It’s literally clogging our arteries – And then you’re going to inject yourself with a vaccine that causes blood clots (well the CDC have at least admitted that it causes blood clots in one – but you know it does in the others too – come on – don’t be fucking stupid y’all. If it does in one (that’s only 80% effective, imagine what the 94% effective one does) 👀
Well I had my doctor look into it and she actually said that what I’m going through is Covid related and I’ve only been experiencing Covid related issues since my body was injected with the Covid fucking vaccinations. Yay? Sound on?
So – You eat shit that clogs your arteries and then you’re going to inject yourself with a vaccine that causes blood clots and then you’re going to go in annually to get your booster shots? 👀
The CDC need to list the rare side effects on the website. Be transparent! Like you force Big Pharma to do!
This vaccine is a prime example of peer pressure
👀
This vaccine nearly wiped me out and I don’t want my fucking kid to get it ever but they have their own body to make their choices for and their own household to run
👀
I’m not saying you shouldn’t get the vaccine but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree so I definitely want my kid to stay away from it
I can’t enforce it
And I still believe that they will enforce it by making vaccination records mandatory in order to enter certain areas
I know for a fact they will enforce it on all militia
Yeah I had a choice right now 👀
That four page article I read by the CNN about the native American Indians really pulled on my heartstrings though they really fucking got me
👀
I will never be getting any booster shots- even if they enforce it, they will have to hold me down
So there’s pressure in my chest (Some sort of tear or pull in my muscle – which is my heart)
I’ve been taking it easy.
My only agenda is to get better and survive this.
I told my kid, please just wear their mask, wash their hands. I swore by the CDC! 😑
The CDC were my bible.
😑
People have died from these vaccinations and the CDC need to be transparent about the rare side effects that are going on.
I’m certain my doctor is reporting to the right channels.
Overall, I’m feeling better than I felt a few nights ago, I wasn’t as hopeful
The pain has lessened – not diminished
I still have extreme lethargy, issues with my sense of smell and taste (which will effect your mood and will to eat stuff that just taste bland and off).
I’ve been eating a shit ton of cashews and walnuts, pecans, pistachios, and all the healthy nuts basically
Food doesn’t taste the same. Pizza didn’t change so much. Candy bars, sweet and salty the tongue can distinguish
But like why does everything else taste like more food I’ve just cooked and wasted
I’ve barely been cooking because just doing normal duties around the house have proven challenging but even frozen stuff or canned food is going to waste!
My heart just needs rest like it’s never needed it before
And less stressors going off
Jesus didn’t like how the world was either, bless his heart ❤️
I don’t like where the future is headed but I need to put that in a poem so I wanna get offline now
I’m attempting to get a cosplay set done
And it’s not that I don’t wanna!
I’m exhausted! 😑
So it may be just a little set for now 😑
And people are already anxious for me to launch my new OF but it’s coming – you just have to have a little bit of patience. I need to get caught up on my campaigns first.
I probably shouldn’t of gave the secret away too soon!
My heart actually physically hurts – even tho not as bad – activity does make it worse.
I miss working out! I had finally found my grove!
Thanks for having patience with me!
I’ve been writing poetry and I will get it posted soonish!
I just needed to get shit off my chest!
I’ve had a hard time editing and stuff lately so if you notice more spelling mistakes than normal, it’s probably the lethargy.
Having a brain injury doesn’t help.
Neo: “Why do my eyes hurt?”
Morpheus: “Because you’ve never used them before. Get some rest…”
👀
I have been unplugging a lot today. I wonder if anyone else unplugged?
Or do your eyes still hurt?
If you call for me, I will come. 💪
(But at some point Neo had to help Trinity cuz she had some heart issues too)
(Everyone falls)
(I just want someone to be there and love me when I do)
(Or in the fantasy world, inside the Matrix)
(This nightmare we’re all in)
(Thank you Asia)
(Or India)
*laughs insanely*
(I don’t need anything fancy when I die just toss me in a hole don’t take out my blood don’t take out my organs fuck whatever they came up with because they ruined the afterlife that’s not what it supposed to be about I want to take 10,000 years to fucking deteriorate OK). You can’t have my blood, my organs, nothing when I die!!! Put me in the earth!!!!!!! Why is that illegal? Why am I forced to spend money on stufff!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sick of money and stuff!!! I want something real!!!!!! I want love!!!!!! You can’t have me when I die!!!!!! Put me in the earth!
I am made of the earth and the moon and the stars and I don’t want you taking out my life force and pumping me full of your fucking chemicals when I’m dead
I don’t want your fucking chemicals while I’m alive
I bathe with vegan products most of the time – and more often than not just prefer the water!!! You don’t need all that stuff!!!!
👀
(Please don’t hate me)
“If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first” – Jesus Christ
He moves through me like rain pattering Thunder rumbling Dim lights reflecting from wet pavement A calm serenity in the early A.M. The soft sound of a match flicking An in your face, after hours, door down kicking
He gets me thinking Every atom increasing Over wide expanse To find me dreaming
Sometimes silently screaming Can he even hear me? Why am I always seething? The endless bleeding Month after month He’s all I’m needing
Come back to me The garden is empty now There’s nothing to sow
Twisted twigs removed of thorn Every step is filled with scorn
Blood and rust becomes the norm Evil’s made and evil’s born
The sun will rise tomorrow true But she won’t give a fuck about you
I’m not where I’m meant to be I’m forgetful how You said you’d never desert me in vow
When you’ve been given the hand as a pawn So you shake the tree to see how hard a king could fall Because death follows you all around And fits your head like it’s a crown
Tell them I died of inexperience Disappeared into dust and this Nothingness I am delirious Feasting on nefarious Darkness Arrest bliss So restless
Half dead Half alive Feet dragging in circles But got throttle to survive
I’m scared And I have no one to tell My orders they aren’t in order And the place looks like hell
I keep organizing disorder In clusters of equal color And piling to the ceiling The clippings of my horror
But then, falling to a clutter Every single note he said I found it in the gutter Where all my tears flood instead (And fears instead of wonder)
I play slip and slide in the mud A word I rarely utter With thunder lightning mixed with blood With prayers less to suffer
Wrapped in heated wool and fear
Coyotes yipping at me to stay alive Or to die I can’t tell a difference half the time
The fog is thicker But my heart is wearing thinner And I’m sick of winter Freezing in the sun My hope’s a killer Stealing every grain of fun And he made fear a winner
The heart isn’t waterproof And my anger Is lit up like a sunroof I’m in danger So I’m acting like a goof I will hold your wager And toss it off the roof While you call a stranger Thinking they can protect you
👀
If you cringe at everything you do or say Maybe it’s because you are corrupt in a way?
I need a break from routine From sunup to sundown 24/7 The constant dying The endless trying One moment to another More yearning and crying
Tidal distortion Everywhere he’s been Pulled from proportion He’s good at sneaking in Speaks in third person Night is on his chin
I got blood on my favorite shirt Tell my heart it’s not the reason we’re hurt I cover wound with a bit of dirt I can’t recall when I wasn’t this burnt
Why did you leave? I ripped my heart open for you.
We need a heat source Heat is life Get me to the light (Warmth is nice)
He went like a wave And I caught in undertow
Give me a box To store my bones Let me have peace They’ll find a home
Everybody unhinged Don’t give a shit On anger we’ve binged So full of it I’m bright, I’m lit
I’m always last at the end of a road The last in line Last picked My house is cold
Two days go by It feels a year My hope runs dry But not these tears
Did I not wait with contempt As the hourglass filled with time Every grain of sand with you on my mind Was I ever worth an attempt?
IO
How can a moon erupt? How long ‘til I give up? Will volcanic ash spew in the wake of my dust? How can a moon corrupt?
He makes me desperate Feeling as if I am his least favorite But then he comes from comets swinging giving me the greatest gifts His words and his virtual kiss Then I forget I’m not his favorite
I called to him under darkened sky He arrived in a meteor shower With desire on display
Going in for dose 2 of Moderna today against my better judgment. Dose 1 made my blood pressure drop really low, my heart has been struggling to pump blood throughout my body (why I’ve been feeling so cold) because my heart is struggling to circulate (it’s only caring about my main organs) – oh wait – not dying yet. Or am I? 🤔
Not gonna lie, I’m freaking out in the most calm way. Through crying. More stress my petite heart does not need.
I’m scared.
I’m alone.
All alone.
Gonna die naked on the street outta pure madness.
I’m losing me mind.
And my heart is weak.
I just wanted to be somebody’s favorite just once in my life.
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Take the air from where I breathe He will never notice me
There you go again Breaking my heart For just a thrill It’s overkill
A thousand times over You have made your point And I know I am never what you sought Though lurking I am aching where you haunt Through searching Though every tear was bought
Age of despair But like an ember I flare him up Because I care And I’ve no defense From getting burned everywhere
I was in alliance with ineptitude
Love is like the beginning and the end. Alpha omega. I love you. I’ll kill you. But I love you forever.
You look like you are dying Bu you are already dead
As above, so below My aura is here to glow
This great depression.
There will be no headstone No grave From life to dust I’m not okay (RIP daddy)
Where are you? In every molecule? The early morning dew? The air I breathe on lonely avenue?
Where are you? If not but in every dream I dream? Clinging to the in-between? Wondering if I can be seen?
All God is woe.
My bed is overrated.
I don’t know where to begin so I’d rather not start at all…
Where have the best years of my life gone
At 26,000 light-years away, it’s the closest we’ve ever been- And if regret is a singularity, it’s finally creeping in (re: black hole)
I got cigarette burns on my skin Black holes where he’s been There’s cold creeping in A hundred reasons why I sin
You’re just her whipping boy You’re a tool You want to be her toy You’re a fool
I know not what holds him here I am a dry sponge, brittle The way time taunts me Like I am little
Give me a veil Let’s rest in hell
I got secrets that would disown me The way he’s unholy Still that’s my only
I wish Sagittarius A* would put on his parking breaks Throw me into another galaxy if that’s what it takes
I am a living statue To darkness, his bride (Well that’s a lie) Still isn’t he by my side?
It’s so dark on the inside Maybe why I cry
Banned under the same sunbeam From things I’ve seen Those things I’ve seen are haunting me
Take away the ray Take away the ray It’s burning
Chained to existence Wishing I didn’t remember you That’s coming too I won’t remember who
My eyes are sunspots Turning grey From things you say
Married to hopelessness Decay Mourning Sorrow Despair Isolation Loneliness Quantum confusion Heartache Wilderness Wonder Beauty Longing Truthfulness Purity Humanity All entities The air we breathe The hope we seek The light we keep
She built an empire on a pyramid scheme. She’s an evil queen.
The world can burn for all I care.
Sometimes Even under soft moons Or enduring high noons There will be casualties of war
And even when I face doom And circling is his tomb I believe there is love within his core
He’s been charged with possession of stolen property; my heart.
In the beginning there was nothingness. Now in the end, nothing is.
The only lines I cross are rhyme.
You are the cold emptiness of space Absolute zero You are the reason I lay in waste You’re not a hero
Come to me By frothy sea Shine your light I fancy thee
I was born into confusion Believe this, believe that It’s all delusion Best theory or illusion
I’m so much better than that flock of shit you summon Your mouth is the opposite direction I am running Your lies only come by the dozen You can knock but you can’t come in The darkness covers all but it’s my coven You ain’t welcome here again
You fool How desolate and awkward your thoughts lead you Rising plumes of gloom And I an idiot more To watch how hope you consume Bereft of pulse A necrophiliac You lifted pen then I had life But then you call creation strife But I died again after witnessing your child and wife
I’m a rib from your side A curse like Dracula’s bride Or Bonnie and Clyde I drink your love like cyanide Mixed with hope and rhyme
I am a dead sea A red sea A bad seed Devolving Unsolving Dead, see?
Death do us part
I’m tired of defending my actions against your lies From sunup to sundown I am wise I can see clearly with these eyes You can’t erase these cries
Loving him is a sentence to death row.
Why does my love always cause destructive tidal waves?
Did you know mountains were resting on your shoulder named envy? You let me crash on your soul in frenzy I’m dizzy Did you not need me?
Did you know moons were glowing with envy? Heartache cost not a penny But I got plenty If you need any?
Distance is The love we keep And even further The solution we seek
Life’s a waiting room Give my wound a womb Erase the moon Erect my tomb You are full doom
Now I owe you nothing Soul paid I’m reduced to hurting
Oh! What heavens I could reach with your arms!
Did you know when I look up I find you stargazing into my soul You know where every prayer goes
Dear Edgar, I can’t live without my love either But he is lost in the ether I can’t reach him neither
Edges of time his mind I go missing every time His rhyme Holding me to crime His line Wishing on a dime
Not everyone is created equal Like the ones who pull out fast then take it slow Those aren’t my kind of people
Sometimes, I climb into the ether where we met Heaven is risky but I took the step You feel like eternity in an instance Gotta keep our distance
Decided to write a poem without the similes but then it felt naked so I had to put one in. 😇
I thought Dracul loved Mina. Where’s my big love? 😤😤😤
*sobs*
My tears are burning
😭😭😭 helps 😭😭😭
Oh, I just wrote this. But the way my brain is deteriorating, it surprises me I can write at all.
Well maybe when the day comes that I forget my name that I’ll finally remember yours.
Don’t fall in love with a devil 😭
It’s purgatory 😭😭😭
But now I know why Edgar Allan Poe died on the street, nakid, possibly poisoned, broke, heartbrokes, likely depressed and drunk. And he served 2 years in the military, he didn’t deserve a death like that. That was not an honorable death. Welp. He better have a statue out there or I’m gonna have an effing fit. But whatev. Asteroid Apophis is on her way. End times will come for all.
Gonna die unloved.
Not everyone winds up with a burial plot. For many, they become dust in the sand. And it takes an extreme amount of heat to burn a body. Extreme to turn bones to dust.
How do I find freedom when I am shackled to your will? And lonely do I travel when I’m crawling up your hill How I linger in your shadow ’til you give me light to feel And hour after hour I am at a standstill
Have you ever felt the cold night move over you like fog Like lace covered in unholy smog You’re not the boy at all I thought You’re not the hope that I had sought
The Great Expansion The Great Divide The Great Unearthing All I despise
From written word to analog Or being threatened to back off Then having no dialogue I guess I’ve been miscataloged
Inconsolable The way you throb for her I move through life Like I’ve heard not a word You’ll get what you deserve My love decomposable Grasping at darkness It’s exposable The Great Unearthing You’re disposable
I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.
The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.
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I once held him like constellations I ate his ripened fruit full of temptations Like when you are feeling loved in all the locations He was my biggest wonder in all of the nation’s
I was a most avid reader Growing like cedar Never needed a breather Now I am neither
…it’s a day of hauntings and heartbreak and loss, and maybe just missing things that you never had (but were close enough to hold on and never let go)… …the theme of the poems I’ve been reading on people’s blogs seem to reflect this ‘strange day’ mood…
An ocean of longing and salt linesTears are translucentStill need you tho I waded out too far
I love u. What’s a girl to do? Been crying for the one since I was like ten. Cuz life is shite. But it’s like we’re world’s apart. 💔
I’m in the deep end and I’m caught in the tide!!! 😰Trying to learn how to live and breathe without you. Not doing a very good job 😭An ocean of sadness. The end is all inside us.
The lie it grew and grew and grew I knew I fell from heaven on the truth Got stuck like glue On every lie because of you Oh, it hurts so much too From empty bottle to fully blue Hell mistook me for a fool
Your prayer dropped a clue You envy youth Now away it flew Leaving you with tooth How they accrue Still every mask I cut through It’s time I withdrew
Spent the night soiling the earth with tears begging the almighty to let me see what I need so I could be free. Didn’t understand the lesson that be. Crying to God, you can lead a demon to holy water, but you cannot make him drink!!!
Nearly drowning from all that makes me bleed. Suffocating on the very air that we breathe. He gave me new eyes to see. Your soul is empty. God cut me free (now whose lying).
The truth hurts worse than the lieTelling lies to myself. That’s not you. It’s someone else. It’s his brother. I’m crazy! Seeing what I wanna! I seem to like you no matter who you are. Which makes me not like you very much!! 😭😰😭I wish I could believe my own lie when I say I don’t love you.The truth hurts worse than the lie. Oh, God forgive me! I still love you, I do! 💔Cursed like Mina Tepes to always love you. 💔
Sidenote: I’ve been in some sort of weird rhyme scheme where I limit my vocabulary even more than I normally do when rhyming. I don’t rhyme just to rhyme, that’s where people fall flat. There’s probably a name for what I’m doing but brain damage. Losing my mind. I see way more than I want to see with my third eye and I’ve never been so fucking depressed or lonely in my life and it’s not that I don’t like my own company because I do – that’s why I’m isolated. I’m growing ever more suicidal and out of fucks to give. But doing the rhyme scheme like I did above, that shit is hard, yo.
I was also at a place where I was worried about using the same words that I had already used before and then I decided to just let that go.
I’ll probably be jumping off the Eiffel fucking Tower reciting some last words you know. Eh. CR CR CRAZZZY out of fucks to give.
Words are the only thing left holding me together.
Oh, you thought that was just a line?
The only thing I’m staying alive for at this point is the Matrix 4. And maybe another hug from Gavin Rossdale cuz he’s like my fountain of youth. I sniffed his neck once, I’m so fucking weird!!!! I think I wanted a bite 😩
I’m sure he’d like that but not while he’s singing to thousands of people!
Then again, this is me. I could get away with murder just with my smile. 😊
I am 1000% insane crazy because I’m literally in love with dracul even tho he’s a fucking monster. Rip my fucking heart out. At least Mina got laid!!!!! She died by suicide, FYI!!!
SHE WAS REAL!!!! *laughs insanely*
Dracul is still very much feared in his land. I wanted to get married in Transylvania or there about.
Love isn’t real, is it? You never really loved me.
I go from flatline To hips shaking engorging my mind He is insanely fine Light-speeds of love climbing my spine Images burning between time All hell then divine Wish I could call him mine
I don’t want to feel thingsFrownGardenCrazy obsessed. Need a rubber room. Or maybe just some love? Attention? Be seen!?! But, I’m not thick and he doesn’t know I exist. Just like she doesn’t know or care that he exists. But she gets all his attention. I CAN’T compete with porn. I wasn’t born with that kind of body. I’m not working out 24/7 just to enhance my ass or training my butthole with a plug so it could take four dicks in it so he’s not interested in me at all. My body / existence does nothing for him. I’m not enough. Never was enough for mankind. Tired of breathing. So lonely. Unloved. He doesn’t care or see me. Invisible. 😭😭😭
Gone But left my heart to disassemble on its own I left it rotting on your throne Caring too much for desensitized bone Lust your tomb or home I’d rather be alone Direction unknown
Maybe I’m gone. Maybe it’s like I don’t exist at all. Wet hairs. Had a bath. Clean but found a new way to hurt. If I could be who you wanted all the time <frowngarden>
(Do you reckon Edgar Allan Poe ran off of any of his wives suitors with a shotgun? I mean, he wasn’t very popular. The local press even stopped publishing his work. He went from a respected officer in the military, to poor, dead, and naked on the street and possibly poisoned, and heartbrokes).
I don’t want to die heartbrokes. Helps. 😭
Sometimes I run off your suitors with my mouth. 😭
Psst did you know my love keeps growing for you? I am a deep, wide ocean. Keep swimming. I’m yours, forevermore. xoxo (times infinity^2)
The person responsible for the stones and sacrifices. Blood vials and hungry vices. Wrong directions cost ultimate prices. Smiling. Our safest lying devices. The sanity will drive you insane. Thanks for another lesson daddy Poe.
Staring up from down below Heaven fell further than I know The wind gets cold Like regret growing old With a heart of stone Set in gold Or hearing whispers “I told you so” Where are angel’s not to go? God told me to love him whole The sinner yes so I tread his road Ready to take on intruders, I’m bold He says friend, I say foe There’s complications in the fold Missings cards like hands, I need him though Dropping SOS’s where his feet have strolled Sights to behold Or heartaches sold
To be honest, I just wanted to keep going with this rhyme flow. I gotta stop putting on the breaks. I’m feeling pages, can you roll?
Moonstone if you’ve ever wondered. I wrote an essay in college once on the healing properties and energetic properties of stone and blew my professor away. I’m going to get back into to meditation sessions soon. Just trying to find my self-esteem and what’s left of my pride after my last nuclear meltdown. I’m radioactive. And collapsing in on myself.
This goes without saying but, I get insanely jealous of the attention he gives other girls. Like black jealousy. And my doctors at the VA don’t understand this kind of love or obsession. They don’t even understand why I’m scared of asteroid Apophis. Whatever. You can’t cure these things. Love is the only acceptable remedy. He just needs to kiss me. Shimples.
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PoeEternal 