An Apology For My Apologies

I’m not proud of the things I have done
Dropping verse like a hit and run
Settling scores by the inch of my tongue
Belittling others cuz they’re having more fun

I’m not proud of calling them names
Dousing the fuel, igniting the flames
Keeping him down and shackled in chains
Changing the rules without knowing the games

With tiny feet I trample the heavens
But take regrets and multiply by seven
I caused you pain and my mouth was my weapon
I made you cry in multiple sessions

I am sorry I pushed you all away
For the trouble I caused and the endless heartache
For the knife I inserted with every mistake
For tossing stones instead of embrace

I don’t expect you to forgive me
I just want you to know it made me feel empty
And that pound of weight has turned into twenty
And heavier now is this ink that is leaking

I need you to know I feel humiliated
And maybe this apology has been long-awaited?
Maybe none of us are where we are fated?
Maybe tomorrow our hands are less weighted?

My door is always open and you are welcome here
Coming together is what I wanted, not to disappear
I’ve been looking for forgiveness and checking in my rear
And I’m hoping maybe silence is more than you all can endear

© Delia Ross. 2020

So, I’m sorry. It may not mean much. It may not help at all. But, I am completely humiliated by my actions and accusations of other bloggers, and even the comments I have left here or on Instagram. Please forgive me if you can. My head and heart really were confused, and my actions did not match my character. My behavior is\was deplorable. I’m sorry I hurt you.

Regrets eek (self circa 2019)

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6 thoughts on “An Apology For My Apologies

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  1. Thank you, Tom! Yes apologies can be extremely difficult, especially if you made them before understanding the lessons, and then made more mistakes. But now that my head is clear, I’m hoping that it will bring some peace to all parties involved. Thanks for liking/commenting (this was definitely a hard one to share).

    Liked by 1 person

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