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Pondering

Can you love a man?
But not know him?
Does love exist?
What type is it?

Can you want a dream?
Without anything?
Can you feel a thing?
Without noticing?

Can you give it a try?
Without the alibi?
Can you draw the line?
Some other time?

Can we start again?
As a real friend?
What can you admit?
Am I that easy to quit?

In comes another nail
The devil on my tail
He smiles while he impales
Off my sorrow he sails

There he goes again, always with the wind, there he goes again, always with the end

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Mirage 2.0

I thought that he was far away but he doesn’t exist
I thought they were a bouquet of poems, not a blade to cut my wrist
For a moment, I felt loved, now I feel his fist
And whatever I’ve done, well he’s over it

One, two, three, four, there’s so many grabbing at his line
It was written for her but now nevermind
And if he can’t have her, we get zero rhyme
If he only knew they left us completely blind

He kept us marching so long in the desert
And thirsty we were for any squirt
We were just disciples for him to hurt
And the connections that were made he doesn’t give a fuck

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Identity

Ruined! Ruined! He would croon
And sit I would under his Blue Moon
He’d stitch at his identity until noon
And come tomorrow sing a different tune

© Delia Ross. 2019

Essentially, all of our lives we are trying to figure out who we are. We all wear masks, don’t fool yourself. Welcome to ego. Destination: piss poor self-esteem or narcissism. Welcome to the 5th level of hell. It’s really hard to manage your consciousness here or “self”. I hope you brought rum… (and if not, why the fuck is the rum gone!?!)

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Caught Between the Devil

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea
Caught between dilemma and what you mean to me
Caught between a wrong and caught without my sight
Caught me with my mind when it wasn’t screwed on tight

Caught between the truth and having privacy
But none of these reasons grant you the right to see
Caught between an answer and caught beneath the light
Caught between the bygones and a hand that seems to bite

Caught between an angel and where a devil blew his horn
Caught between the towers falling in an endless mourn
Caught between a moral and caught between a fight
Caught between the will to not end my life tonight

© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t know if I did that Devil phrase any justice but then I completely changed the rhyme scheme in the end but also many of the end words and then I couldn’t decide on whether to keep going or not… because feelings. And I know I could have carried on the rhyme scheme in the end but, rebel…

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Polaroid

I want everybody to be you and when they’re not I’m destroyed
And that leaves me wondering what kind of blockage you’ve deployed
Because life is at a stop when it is life that I avoid
For every memory stored you are a mental polaroid

I don’t want this and I don’t want that
If it’s not you it’s not allowed to pass
This toll booth is closed, you must find another path
If the thought isn’t of you, I’m going to squash it flat

Now my heart is closed and nothings getting through
And all these other feelings have no revenue
Now my doctor claims skies aren’t the only thing that’s blue
Yet none of these pills kill my desires of you

© Delia Ross. 2019


OH MY EFFING GAWD right, so, Alexander Ebert is reading an entire book on the awesome app he created called Tuners (it’s kind of like Instagram or Facebook without the video or photos and is radio format for open communications about anything). I drop a wee bit of rhyme there, I’m shy. People freestyle. It’s awesome and FREE. Alex is about as unplugged as they come, he’s a genius and my muse. 🙂 He’s teaching me how to be human. Anyhoo, this book he’s reading called “The Untethered Soul” is teaching me some stuffs. Pretty amazing I enjoy still learning. So chapter 6 got me heated and I left some commentary on Tuners about it. But I also woke up and freestyle dropped this poem *giggles* cuz as of yesterday I was ready to pack it in and quit. Writing all together. And living too I think. Whatev. I’m emo. Sue me. Wouldn’t be the first time. “The grass was greener, the light was brighter, the taste was sweeter, with friends surrounding, the nights of wonder, forever and ever…” (and bonus points if you know that song). Oh, the poem is about that dude I like clearly (not Alex, duh). But how many of us do that; cling to something? A memory, a moment whether it is good or bad? And that actually prevents us from living in the now. Living in the now, allows life to flow and happen naturally. But when we cling to the past, or to a thought, we are blocking the energy of essentially everything else around us. And this is true so often, for so much. So to really appreciate life, we must strive to be in the now. ✌

Note to self: STOP CLINGING

P.S. I’ll update later with some links to Tuners.

P.S.S. And so the lesson is, stop clinging, live in the now, leave your heart open, allow energy to flow. And we decide this ourselves every moment of our lives. It’s up to you to live free. (Meditation helps to clean out negative energies, I use rock and stone).

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Apophis

The service you subscribe to has been temporarily disabled
The lies I was eating too, were all mislabeled
Feelings that could not be swallowed, pushed under the table
The love she was selling you, have clogged your cables
Caring now a fortune and something I’m just not able

Annoyance like a vine and it creeps and entwines
If happiness were a choice they would all still decline
It seems so obvious but they require written signs
Apophis now a decade out from the end-of-times

Life’s so very short but they still won’t understand
And if they wake up now they might feel something grand
And it will be too late when she comes to kiss this land
And if that doesn’t work, well, death has other plans

© Delia Ross. 2019

Life is short, love now… MORE LOVE. The world needs more love. I don’t have time for anything else.

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CONFUSION FRONT AND CENTER

I placed it in the trash but he said it wasn’t broke
I put it on the shelf then he said it doesn’t work

I offered him a piece but he didn’t take my pie
Yet he doesn’t want me giving it to another guy

Anytime that I move forward there appears another gate
But if I turn around he’s flagging to go straight

I might have said some things that I never meant to say
But he will plead the fifth or look the other way

I tried to read the signs but they’re written in foreign
And even if they were it wouldn’t stop me from adoring

I really wish he liked me but he doesn’t think I’m witty
I don’t fall on the list of girls that he finds pretty

I listened to his reason but it’s confusion front-and-center
And when I said I loved him the season turned to winter

I stumble through the weather like I am a zombie
And watching me break must be his favorite hobby

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Orpheus

Deeper deeper deeper, she said
Beware, there’s demons everywhere
In the underworld, keep your eyes ahead
Once you go, don’t look back, or I’m dead
And the pain will never stop circling
Your life will always be full of dread
Keep your eyes on the prize instead
Or Hades will keep me prisoner by his bed
Don’t look back, cuz you won’t find me there

© Delia Ross. 2019

I wrote this a while back but never thought it good enough to share…

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Dirt

Got his hand on my throat with every word
Got his squeeze on my pump with every hurt
Got his eye on the prize if ever I’m sure
And with the right ingredients just maybe a cure

Got his hand on the ready to offer comfort
Got my mind on the question though maybe he answered
She’s got her nose in the air as if she’s the expert
And she cries for his heart like a rich man now beggared

Got his tongue on the bottle so maybe it slurred
And my outrage is written though normally censored
But he claims that he loves me and I’m certain she heard
And so I do my best to not blind her with dirt

© Delia Ross. 2019

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A Raft Named Hello

I built a raft from my tears so my love could sail into your foreign skies
I etched a map with blood and stains made from all your lies
And drew upon her side HELLO but she’s better with goodbyes
But still my hand aptly wrote her name across her guise

And from my fears a wind took hold which carried off my back
And anchored in its belly are the cares from which you lack
And settled in the hull are all the nights that I lost track
Moments lost in time but they filled me with your black

There may come a time when it finally reaches you
A chance to recognize and understand its value
A moment to cherish what you never knew
But I already died from failure of rescue

© Delia Ross. 2019

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All Bets Off

He does not exist anywhere except for on this page
And in a downward spiral my sadness turns to rage
The crowd keeps applauding though we both have left the stage
And if I ever mattered is now difficult to gauge

Will my heart always remain behind a cage?
That’s a bet for losing and I haven’t any wage
I’d ask him for forgiveness but I never act my age
I’d ask him for a hand but I know he won’t engage

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Stone

Moving forward, turning corners, never finding home
Keep listening, less speaking, and most are always wrong
I go the distance that few ever roam
Universal lessons seem to keep me on my own
Often these tribulations can only be learned alone
Weakened and discouraged I’ll stop but not for long
My heart more calloused and hard like bone
Whatever it takes to keep me strong
With the wisdom of knowing that looking back can turn me to stone

And so this lesson I pack up and carry
The weight of them always seems to vary
Some are black and some are cherry
Some will taste like a strawberry
Some will make you say Hail Mary
Some are found in the morning obituary
Most will leave you cold and weary
With eyes that sting and oh so blurry
These streets have roadkill of doubt and worry

Self-medicate to try and heal
And get the energy to climb uphill
Another battle of self-will
Another demon I have to kill
Swallow the pain just like a pill
Buried deep so I can’t feel
There’s mostly lows and little thrill
And not an exit out of here
By now my soul is feeling ill
The answers are never clear

Tie my boot without goodbye
Can’t sit around to watch me cry
More of those with every sigh
If you could open it and peer inside
It would likely appear tie-dye
Like an endless horizon in the sky
Pinks and purples which mystify
There my soul longs to fly
Not depths of low but certain high
And now not a tear in my eye

You’ll never get close to me
I live by this decree
Very few are ever worthy
But God has a skeleton key
Buried under a Joshua Tree
Searching will leave you thirsty
The depths I’ve cried fill up a sea
And by this I’m already drowning
It’s past my knee
But the undertow came quickly

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Yearning

It’s half-past heartbreak 
The pain grips like a snake
There’s nothing to stop the ache

Once upon a better time
Wasting youth was such a crime
Pride it only cost a dime

It’s long past sorrow
There’s no joy here to borrow
I still pray he calls tomorrow

Third times a charm or so we learn
In slavery until we are adjourned
And so the same ole pages turn
These forty years I only yearn

© Delia Ross. 2019

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RSVP Declined

Why send an invitation if it’ll just be declined
I want to be seen but I stand with the blind
Every rejection makes me more aligned
I still look confused though I’ve made up my mind
You warned you were bad but you are the worst kind

Oh teacher, oh teacher why’d you leave me blue
Another desertion what more can I do
We barely had started but now we are through
I may have been late but I can’t outrun you
Give me the full movie not just the preview

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Atmosphere

It can disappear as quickly as it can appear
I won’t even need to yell all clear
It only takes seconds for my heart to veer
I don’t need you in my atmosphere
I won’t even shed a tear
Only the worthy are allowed here
Feel free to harbor all your fear
You’ll soon find it’ll grow more severe
Your happiness fading each year
A bleak existence your only frontier
But I will never reappear
I bid you farewell my dear

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Chasing Ghosts

We’ve been lost on the same road
Making circles back again
We’ve been chasing all the ghost
Who will destroy us in the end
Along the way we have passed
Pretending each were a friend
How long can we last
Avoiding roads full of sin
What test do we pass
Where does the road to love begin
All the signs along the way
Point to never meeting him

© Delia Ross. 2019