Vaccine injury update

It’s very rare to find a woke doc inside the VA but i’ve done did

And this is HUGE

the fact that it is in my records officially as a vaccine injury – despite the informed consent and non-traditional forms of treatment

And my new doctor has forbidden me to eat any meat or dairy (this should please the vegan?)

CARRAGEENAN FREE

I’m not allowed – furthermore – she removed me from my protein shake regime that the nutritionist had put me on – it has carriage in it or something (I’m not correcting the AI)

(More info I was given about my vaccine injury)

She was waving a book around, “i can’t get the VA on board, it’s not FDA approved, but you won’t need to go to the feed store”

And of course, I’ll have to pay out of pocket for the treatments

I won’t repeat everything said but it makes us sound super paranoid – but she unplugged from the Matrix

I specifically asked do I need to give up my medicinal and she said no

New treatment plan

She stated the international markets are okay to shop at, she specifically mentioned “black rice”

And now I’m wondering if I’ve ever even had black rice?

But you know, Walmart tried to kill me while I was paying for a membership

And it’s not hearsay because they sent me two emails telling me I was potentially exposed to E. coli and heavy metals

But to finally get someone inside, the VA to ACKNOWLEDGE and treat me for vaccine injury is huge, she also mentioned cancer

She doesn’t want it turning into cancer

I’m still losing weight but my labs look good, my kidneys, my liver

I’m on 10% energy – vaccine injury

(it is a side effect) (i’m not lazy)

I gotta give up the meat and the cheese, but I can keep the weed (legally)

no processed foods and I gotta go back in a few months. I didn’t see any mention of coffee on the list so we’re gonna have to have that discussion soon because I need to know, can I have coffee still?

Important stuffs

Anyway, I’m not in remission yet but my doctor has hooked me up with a connect that’s gonna get me ivermectin and I don’t gotta go to the feed store.

There’s also the long list from Amazon that I need to shop

Once I get my hands on the goods, and we’re looking roughly $300+ to start, and that’s not counting the grocery shopping for “the good food items”

Bananas are best when they’ve gone bad (you know when they’re mushy) that’s when they’re highest in whatever it was she said that was in there that I need (fiber?)

And I’m absolutely not allowed to do any more amoxicillin, she says that destroys my gut health

Cuz I broke out in a rash from the 2000mg that the dentist gave me

And had a two day migraine

She said cereal is bad

I’m not allowed cereal

I gotta get my diet under control if I don’t wanna die

(In summary: i don’t wanna die)



Oh you stayed?

From right now – no filter (but I swear they apply some sort of ugly filter when you don’t use a filter at all to try to force you to use a filter instead, but then I look in the mirror and I think it’s worse)

Ack

I’m going to a salon soon and I’m gonna see if they can remove some of these sunspots from my face and wrinkles (how much does Botox cost? Should I get a breast implant? Should I just pay off my ride?)

Byeee for now (and I really really really wanna catch up on y’all’s blogs. I really do. I really wanna go for a walk around the neighborhood. There’s so much I would like to be able to do and I just can’t?)

And I’m not autistic so you can let him know I’m not autistic but I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16

(I talk to dead people) (don’t tell him)


GA DANG I LUV MY RIDE

WHOSE CALLING SHOTGUN?

GET IN

WE ROLLIN’ OUT


moving! (journal log entry # unknown)

yes yas yes yas yesh

i was approved with conditions!

social credit system

don’t be poor or you will be punished by the ones we make rich!

the carefully considered scared me but they told me on the phone first like a normal person


the big move day is coming!

i get to go be miserable in a new place!

a new timezone!

a porch!

updated appliances!

vinyl flooring but the bedroom has carpet!

there’s a microwave!

it’s quiet!

no crime!

i was approved the same day!

they answer the phone when you call!

im grateful

i want to thank god



this is her!

a small quiet updated space with a porch!

happy i was approved!

only carpet in the bedroom

thank fuck


i woke up today and said today we find a place

and we did!

and now i have less than 60 days to vacate

and i must pay 2 months rent for abandoning ship (or civil court)

and i must pay an additional deposit for being on the lower portion of the totem pole


i had to pay for insurance too

but no hoa!

she also said the rent would not increase, i hope it really is locked in at the price it stands

i am doing 13 months!

sounds like hard time!

criminals don’t have to feed themselves

criminals get an hour of sunshine a day


meanwhile…

i mean, i guess it is better than an eviction notice?

i am evicting myself?

and paying for it too…


it is worth it to start over

to leave this portion of hell

i also never lived where i am moving, only vacations there

so new city

and not to be sentimental and all?

… but my apartment building happens to be C


my unit is C###


oh wow

blue is currently sitting at 209k (boomers and inflation yeah)

did the value increase with the dead body or something?

it has had a lot of price decreases and the risk of floods here are low

5 unhealthy days in 5 years

and she was built the year i was born

she has passed through so many sales and hands

so people have died there?

she is on a half acre

gold and dead bodies could be buried there?

im ready to put an offer in but turns out i see ID tomorrow (she’s a good doctor but i aint in love with her or rescheduling)

no flooding, built the year i was born

well he has sent me 14 properties to look at

some really good ones

with lots of land

but he wanted to also show me a property “move in ready” “furnished” as i did request to look at them

it required him changing the 1-5 acres tho

to half or less…



sometimes there are too many doors


and i can get something less than the bigger amount

you know, closer to 100 or less?

go big or go home?

i don’t have anything to offer so there is nothing to lose?


the new roof is 4 years old

the stuff inside is a fucking headache

i aint sleeping on a bed people have been sinning in

but the tubs can be cleaned

half acre is plenty space for a small garden

i will install iron bars on the windows

iron gates…

yasss

install security

try not and get the urge to start digging holes in Florida in the middle of the night

cuz we all know what happens when you start digging holes…


comes as is

a bird bath right next to the outdoors porcelain claw bath

“comes as is, with dead bodies buried out back and all”

maybe i can keep a few things

like the “best dad ever” sign

for esthetics

but why is the blue house for sale?

is it the crime?

flooding?

can’t be used as a airbnb?

dead body outside under the tub?

taxes too high?

died?

i have so many questions but for 6k i could move somewhere more expensive and with more cockroaches with “sometimes the ceiling caves in”

im pretty certain i already worry about the cracks in the ceiling here – as much as the mold

or drop 10k on the blue house with a big screen “comes with everything” – including potentially a dead body under the tub in the fertile garden

i mean, i have so many questions like “when can we go see it”

and he is like “tomorrow”

and im like “prob too soon”

i hope i text “available to see blue today or tomorrow” at like 5 am


i mean the air has been so toxic i can’t make any decisions

2 bedroom 2 bath + 1 additional tub in the fertile garden out back

“can bathe with the birds and dead bodies”

him: “ominous”

oh wait, wrong story


the blue house is good enough to rent (or was)

and now they cant and for sale?

and it is $600 to do an inspection which includes the 10k

what is lurking behind the curtains (i mean rugs, pictures, tv?)

it would be all mine

an empire of dirt (and dead bodies?)

i need the blue house

that’s the same kind of tub morrison died in?

wait, what part of Florida was he born?

(Melbourne – not quite Melrose but close)

(same state)

i have looked at a lot of potential properties

and rental units too

mostly online and the paper and booklets

the mold has been killing me –

wtf is hiding under that tub and can the creeps at the park see?

“everything has to go”

“sorry not the best daddy sign, everything but that”

is daddy not the best daddy anymore, is that why the house is for sale?

omg the stories i could write in blue

in the tub outback

behind the fence

by the bird bath…

“the saddest girl in the world lives on Melrose”

“yeah she done gone and bought a house fully furnished “as is””

“…heard there were some dead bodies out back”

“…under the tub”

“…in the fertile garden”

them: “whaaaaaat”


sold my empire of shit to buy another’s?

if daddy has left me a lump sum of money in that house, he may in fact be the best dad ever


if only…

i wish i had gifted myself a gift card

im sure there’s a poem in there somewhere

but like… i cant even shop on ipsy currently

which is fine cuz i prob shop too much anyway

which forces me to have a skincare and self-care routine

“we don’t need to wear any makeup we’re dying”

“well that’s good enough reason for to wear best dress”

“i mean you aint wrong”


i got an appt incoming and like are they gonna know they been in my livingwaking dream

it is kinda confusing

i know im lost in hell

but the mold

is about to drive me into a tent and break my lease

i got the realtor and potential new landlords texting and calling

but i aint answering either one

robot on mars

overwhelmed

even if they wanted money in a shoebox

i cant even access my own funds

i was like “is there a physical bank to enter and make withdrawals”

and shes like “$35 to expedite”

instant disconnect

prob gonna withdraw my milk money soon

put it in a shoebox

bury it

“forget where”

“TELL ME WHERE THE BOX IS”


im sorry

i think this post was meant to stay in my head


i could have gone the rest of my life not knowing about the Alaskan roadkill lottery


“waste not want not”

yeah want not. fasting for the next two weeks. religious practice.


yes it does


BLOCKED oh i musta offended someone oh shame within



maybe some poetry soon huh

got a few lines but no energy


boomer: “you”re retired at 45?” (asks like im lying)

gen x: “uh yeah. military.”

boomer: “you need to be earning 6k a month to rent here from me and my wife”

gen x: have fun


Some updates

I dunno how I feel about “going live” again – but I probably will start sharing my fitness journey over on Instagram – and if I’m not too shy – will do some casual lives on the TikTok as well

I’m only looking to connect and be “social”, I’m not chasing the algorithm dragon for likes or paying META $15 monthly to be “verified”. Like, I would have paid that ONE TIME – but I’m not spending money to be seen.

I just want to be

I’m getting my fitness room in order and both mystery plants now have green growing (they’re in the window being bashed around by the blinds – wakey wakey)

Yoga & stretching set

Mystery plant 1

Mystery plant 2

Please note that I’m going through some sort of phase where I want to be natural – no makeup, no filters, no fancy dress, no fuss.

I am trying to fix my health, my finances, my diet, my mood, my self-esteem, and last thing I need to worry about is putting on makeup to go live or post when I’m cooking or working out.

It’s just not me.

I don’t want to have to worry about posting 4 times a day (or daily) either

And, I want to answer my inbox when I’m ready and am devoting days to be “social” so that my mood isn’t down and depressed

Furthermore, 95% of my furniture and household is gone.

I’m starting over but also want to be able to jump ship – when God allows

Right now, the enemy has us in a stronghold

Barricaded behind policy

I don’t have the latest XYZ to garner your attention

But I will share fitness tips and how I’m surviving the apocalypse

And thank you to those who have taken interest in seeing me go live again, whether to share the weather or my latest complaint

I took a long detox from social media and have been trying to find myself

I mean, I know I’m lost in purgatory/hell and am paying for my sins in this timeline

And wasted pretty much all of my life

I’m learning to be still

To stretch

Breathe

Exist in harmony with nature

I guess I took the winter hibernating

I’m trying not to climb in my coffin or a hole I can’t climb out of

I thought, how dumb was I to lose half my retirement – but then all of GEN X did –

It did help my depression to a degree (make it worse)

But it wasn’t because I was stupid

We were gutted essentially

Anyhoo, I’m a little seedling

And 4/19 is the last day my medicinal card is any good – and I blocked the doctor both via text and email

Now they’re putting less product in and calling it “head space” (and charging more)

They treat the medical shops like they are recreational

Anyway, I’m trying to get clean

It’s like the devil is coming at me

I don’t have fancy things, but what remains is what I like

I would like to follow you back – and interact – as and when I’m capable

I’m more like a turtle on social media – instead of that blazing fast coyote always getting into trouble

I mourned my social media accounts because I thought I had deleted, deleted them.

I did not.

They are there, for now.

I am #poeeternal on both accounts. My TikTok hashtag has over 20k views alone.

I’m not ready to give up my pseudonym / pen name.

I’m more present these days. More aware.

Thank you for being there.


New account: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


44 Shocking Animal Shelter Statistics (2022 UPDATE) | Petpedia

Unfortunately, most animal shelter statistics paint a sad story. Though the progress in the years is evident, there’s plenty that can be done in 2022.
— Read on petpedia.co/animal-shelter-statistics/


Hail Hitler! He’s alive!

I’m old and sick! Euthanize me!!!!!

It’s not 60k annually anymore. The numbers are much much worse.

“Since 1970 68% of all life has gone extinct”

And children are being conditioned as children to support prostitution and porn. That’s why the divorce rate is 100%!

Amazon is sharing your address Wishlist with the buyer

I went in to make changes to my Amazon Wishlist and they have new features – already selected for you – about disclosing your address to the buyer

“The seller may disclose your address to the buyer”

Wait. What. 👀

I have a brain injury and maybe I’m misinterpreting what that says!?!

I’ve since unchecked the box – and I’ve no one spoiling me – but I very much intend to spoil me – as these are items I want/need.

That’s a dangerous new feature Amazon has added

I wasn’t even aware until I was acting emo and making privacy changes

Anyhoo…

If you have children using it or anyone under the age of 18 and they have an Amazon wishlist account and people spoiling them, then they may be getting access to your home address now.

I care about the unsuspecting adults too (like self) and people with mental illness who may try and obtain an address for harm

I don’t understand how it’s legal for a business to do something like this, it’s fucking dangerous

They are using grams as weight now cuz America belongs to the immigrants and their children born here naturalized

The immigrants get to vote before our children legally turn 18 to do so

LMAO

I wish I had known all this before I started College is a scam.

Quietly LOUDLY quitting society

Information is knowledge so please let folks know that their lives are in danger now – unless they want complete strangers with their shipping address!?!?

I don’t like giving out my phone number or email and now we’re just giving folks our home address huh.

Why not just give the buyer your address and fuck Amazon all together?

Why use a third party at all? Which was the entire fucking point I thought.

Amazon is dead

There’s hardly a place worth shopping

I like thrift stores and antique furniture shops

I will find the most ugly shop in Florida you can find.

Get on my knees and hunt

Getting offline forever soon…

I don’t understand the point


Changes coming to my blog / websites 🥳

I reckon I’m gonna have to bite the WordPress hook and upgrade my personal plan to the premium plan since I’ve used up all my 6GB of storage space 🙄 and just pretend the universe is pushing me to upgrade my plan so I can have more media space to upload photos but also unpack yeti from its box to do soft poetry readings and spoken word

To be fair, I have been dying

But I will also at some point maybe be producing some subscriber only content on my blog/website instead of over on OnlyFans (I don’t do porn or self-gratification, I’m an artist and do nude photography – many say softcore is obsolete, but I’ll be offering it here on my website instead- and if someone could please teach me how to set up subscriptions on WP instead of me having to go figure it out through WordPress that would be great)

I’m already on a plan that allows subscriptions and donations, I’ve just used up all my media space and either need to delete stuff off my website or upgrade and at this point it’s time to upgrade because I’m growing aren’t I? I have over 1000 followers now and nearly 100,000 views!! 👀

So when I’m not dying and can put my head into the WordPress books I will figure out how to do the subscriber only content (this won’t be for every post, just my random spicer content)!

Not everyone wants to see my exclusive Rated R nude content but I’m tired of giving other platforms my visitors – especially when most platforms I have zero voice as an artist

I don’t want to push people to another platform when they come to visit my website

I want you to stay here in heaven with me 😇

GIVE ME ALL YOUR ATTENTION 🤩

I was at urgent care yesterday again so I don’t know how quickly I’ll be able to get stuff going but just know stuff is in the pipeline and I would like to get some more nude content out to you, it will be through my own website though, you won’t have to leave or sign-up anywhere else

I’m indecisive on what I’m doing with my Patreon account but I’ve been very grateful for your support over the years!

Because of it, my website has and remains advertisement free (zero spam)!

If you sign up for my blog posts via email, advertising will never be in your email either! Zero spam!

I may be the last place on earth that’s free of advertising 🤔

But you won’t have to worry about accidentally hitting an advertisement when scrolling or installing spyware or a virus

You can scroll freely without a condom ahem 🤪

I’m dealing with heart and lung issues since I got the vaccine – I’m still a weirdo tho and I miss doing the cosplay for you to accompany the rants, poetry and prose!

I will definitely upgrade my plan soon so I can at least start attaching photographs again to my rants and poetry

It may be the new year before I start any subscription only content!

I may do it via donation instead of subscription (like where you can pay a small fee to unlock the post)…

Stay tuned

Dying but not dead…

PSST… I have a free OnlyFans and will be active there when I’m feeling better – thank you for subscribing! My inbox is open there to say hello! I’ll let everyone know when I’m back and active! I’ll be going live over there to show you the beach and things! Softcore 🤪

Junkmail (poetry)

I moved him to my junkmail
A folder titled “this hell”
You’ll never measure the scale
But I’m erasing every detail

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I scheduled my email for deletion. I didn’t save anything. Conversations with my dad, the dead, intellectual property, spam, the whole shebang. It’s gone. Decades and decades of conversations. Nothing saved.

I don’t want to remember anything of my life.

Is anyone worried for me? 🤔

Y’all, it’s gonna sound weird but I did a vinegar foot soak, and my breathing improved. My body was going into anaphylactic shock. But there was an advertisement that kept appearing over and over again for a home remedy

And I thought what the fuck

I know I was nearly burned on the stake in the past for witchcraft but…

A witch needs land and apple trees

An apple a day yes

Let them rot

And ferment 👀

Acid is the cure all (well not the cure all cure all but it’s now my number one most loved stench)

The Garden of Eden is full of vinegar on shelves 👀

Don’t judge

I’m not even coughing hardly any more

Welp. I don’t know how many lives I’ve now used but I feel like I’ve got a new body

Compared to “I’m not gonna get out of here am I” 👀

And I wasn’t just going from panic to calm, my body was breaking out in hives and I couldn’t breathe

And the VA were like, “your tests results are all fine”

And I literally left a voicemail screaming at patient advocacy that I was about to fucking die and that I needed a new care team but then I found out that if I got a prescription outside of the VA that the VA would cover it so you know

oh did I tell you I went to church Sunday?

I have energy again

So I’ve been doing vinegar foot soaks for 10 to 15 minutes three times a day now

🎃🎃🎃

Apparently you can drink vinegar as a tonic too so I’m about to be drinking in it, not just bathing in it (and I’m doing facial tonics and even ear swabs)

I find white distilled vinegar works best

I mix it with water

Half and half but you should do stuff based on your own skins tolerance

But don’t ever put vinegar directly on your skin because it’s acid and it will burn so you need to dilute it

Don’t get it in your fucking eyeballs or anything

Apparently you can do a scalp soak and it will cure dandruff 👀

However, it can dry out your hair but I’m gonna be giving it a go! Dip dip!

Just change blood bath to vinegar bath (put 1 to 2 cups in yer bathwater if you want your skin to feel soft as a baby again, soak for 10 – 15 minutes in lukewarm water a few times a week – skin not hair)

I have also learned you can use it as a deodorant and mix it with like lemon water

Seriously, it will kill any kind of foot fungus or order too

Sentinel and witchy

Who knew it was gonna take vinegar for me to breathe again 👀

An apple a day

Still learning the big lessons

Feeling better but I hope it’s not that little burst of energy you get before you die

It took a weird ad about a home remedy foot soak to get me cured

And no, the water did not change a weird funky color

My skin immediately began to improve

And then my breathing

My lungs are clearing up 👀

My heart is feeling anew

I don’t know what to tell you

A fucking weird ad saved my life

And I was reading article after article about black holes and the multiverse at 2 am – it was one of then weird click-bait type ads you see

I didn’t click it or anything

It’s just a bunch of them ads you see following an article when you’re reading comments about something

And I’m not exaggerating about going into anaphylactic shock or the fact that I was actually nearing my mysterious death

Clearly needed a detox

I need to go shopping for the other ingredients to start drinking it so I’ll let you know how the drink goes

Again, if you don’t mix this shit right you can burn yourself

But my body has had nothing but positive response

And until I feel like I’ve expelled the devil, I will continue the routine of vinegar soaks, even if not as frequent

I love how baby soft my skin is again

And the fact that I can breathe again

Without a machine 👀

Edgar Allan Poe and John Jones are my spirit guides

John was a Mormon so they probably used vinegar to clean everything

Thanks for the tip right-side up, John

I love you

“Now you’re selling your body on the cheap” 👀

Oh my fucking God, stop the press, I’ve been called a whore again. 👀

He’s mad at me and now using that disgusting piece of shit ex of mine as a bomb to hurt me *rolls eyes* 🙄

Mark did scam me out of a lot of things, but my real love and heart he never got. He kept my pussy dry literally. Keep reading on to learn more 👀

(I went no contact from Mark – he posted on my blog when he got back with one of his exes, I didn’t go to The Chameleons blog – he came to mine. He’s a narcissist and I’d gone no contact but he was desperate for me to know – he’s desperate for me to love him. I don’t. I can’t stand Mark Burgess. He’s the plague and I want NOTHING to do with him. He never pays taxes, he lives rent free off the women he abuses. He’s a scumbag and writing music doesn’t give you the right to do the monstrous things he has done and continues to do. He’s a menace and needs burned at the stake, along with all the books and music. Erased from history is the only ending he deserves. Of course, he leads everyone to believe that the women are the problem even tho it’s the women running from HIM. And he moves from one relationship to the next. Claims true love every time. He taste like death. 🤮🤮🤮

I did a runner from Mark Burgess because he is the plague and you should stay far the fuck away from him.

I don’t like or love him.

I couldn’t even get sexually off from him

I couldn’t even get wet down there 😑

I don’t like Mark Burgess

I don’t love Mark Burgess

And you don’t get to act like you’re my best friend and then turn around and call me a whore just because I have a political fucking opinion about what’s going on in the world and I actually have a right to say something about what’s going on in the world because I’ve actually served my fucking country you piece of shit

Look at all this charming smooth talk via PM tho. You always wanted me to chat with yah, never did/would tho. Hell, you invited me into your home and offered to pay for my hotel.

But now publicly suddenly I am one of the worst things ever and a whore and I’m selling my body on the cheap

🧐

👇👇👇👇

👀

I never did give him what he wanted though- my time or my friendship and now look at him calling me a whore 👀 from inviting me and paying for my hotel to calling me a fucking whore 👀

He says I think the world owes me everything and I’m selling my body “on the cheap”

👀

But he was just inviting to pay for my fucking hotel room

👀

Now I’m a whore and he’s siding with that piece of shit Mark 👀

I am called a whore / you’d give me your dinner?

For the record, I don’t need anyone paying my hotel bills when I travel, I do that on my own.

I normally stay with my best friend who is a female – I’ve visited her in England twice staying with her 2 weeks on each visit.

I also helped with food and the electric and left her some moneyzzz cuz I’m not a complete bum.

She did not ask me to do this. Flights anywhere are expensive – and I’m happy to stay with my REAL FRIENDS when I visit if they invite me.

I’m not rich nor ever have been.

I was not born with a silver spoon.

I’ve always had to work 3 jobs to make ends meet.

I do not feel bad or guilty for stripping to eat or pay my bills.

You don’t get to invite me into your life and then call me a whore after and not get sandblasted.

He was always denied tho – as you can see – I don’t talk to anyone.

Prime example why

They all want to fuck me for free

Yet I’m called cheap

👀

Yea, I’m the problem clearly

Fuck off now

Run back to Mark Burgess

You’re both twats

Stop acting like you don’t have a porn addiction or that you are all holy and can call me your friend and then a “whore” (but only after you offered to pay for my hotel – I wasn’t a whore when you were offering to pay for my visit)

Never even had the desire to meet you – let alone for you to pay for my hotel.

“Whore” yup m’kay why? Because I do cosplay? Because I take off my clothes now during a pandemic because I’m disabled and need to pay my bills and we are in a RECESSION?

Because I blew through my life savings trying to stay afloat?

Because the jobs I was working paid under minimum wage and I have a college degree but can’t find work in my field due to the recession/furloughs/hiring freezes?

And those minimum wage jobs are taxed like hell and barely support cost of living (COLA) which is why people work multiple jobs to stay afloat?

Because they can’t save one fucking penny to get ahead.

Because nobody wants to actually support me or my dreams because they all want to “be my friend” so they can fuck me?

When I don’t want to fuck anybody –

Because I want to make babies with the love of my life and he recently bought me pizza?

Because I’m not actually a whore and there’s nothing wrong with sex workers.

I don’t actually “sell my body” 🧐

I don’t think anyone can actually “sell their body”. 🤔

If you mean “perform sex acts”, that isn’t anything I’m actually doing.

It’s called burlesque but I’m not very good.

I like to cosplay and roleplay tho cuz being an actor was always my dream, I still audition for parts (even reality TV shows), and I love getting to play dressup cuz I was always a Soldier/tomboy.

I don’t think what I am doing is sinful.

I’m trying to understand who I am as a human and a woman.

Not the part or role that everyone else wants me to play.

What I’m doing now is what I’ve always wanted to do.

Writing, photography, cosplay, guitar, it’s my thang.

The feedback I’ve been getting on my OnlyFans has improved my overall health and mental status / self-esteem.

I would say the feedback I have received has been priceless to my growth as a human and an artist.

There’s a lot of value on my OnlyFans and I’m trying to get better at my cosplay and my photography and I think it shows.

I appreciate your good feedback, your comments, likes, tips, gifts and subscriptions!

I also GREATLY appreciate the support on my Patreon as well!

You make this whore happy.

New Free OnlyFans coming soon! 🥰

So I just sent the OnlyFans team a request on how to get a new free verified account started – I was dead serious about starting one – I’m not going anywhere (even though I can barely do shit at the moment, I do intend a full recovery from this COVID vaccine nightmare) –

I hope you are excited as me about the free account!

It will be FREE but you will have to subscribe to access the lewd (NOT NUDE) content.

This way I no longer get in trouble from Big Bro for not doing anything wrong at all – and maybe I can go back to having an actual personality where I don’t fear everything I post or say or hashtag. 💪

Nor, the erroneous reporting out of spite and jealousy. 🚫

I like having a private club and people want to see more of me and I’ve had several request on several different social sites and now I’ll have a place to direct them to see more (but if they want to see it all, it will require a subscription)! 🙃

Anyway, I’m really excited about starting the process for my new FREE OnlyFans!

I hope you are excited too! 🙌

I have heard your cries!

So I am expanding my doors!

I love you! 💕

As a reminder – I love doing cosplay and role play! I’m gonna keep at this! It’s what I wanted to do since I was a little girl – and I feel really excited about expanding my business, opening my doors (privately) and in a place where I can be as tacky as a fucking want even though I’m actually more classy than I am tacky but whatever

I do specialize in softcore but there’s an art to it and it’s more commonly known as like Kama Sutra or vampirism. 👀

It’s more about sensation and less about desensitizing.

🙌

Le vampyre and 1984 is now so it’s time to expand my doors because you’ve asked for more – and I don’t actually like publicly sharing more.

Again, lewds not nudes! You’ll have to be a big boy and pay if you wanna see it all.

But, I can go back to being my kinky seductive flirty vampire self oh my fucking God! I’m super fucking excited and I hope you will consider joining my free OnlyFans!

You asked, I complied! 🤪

Your wish is my command! 🤓

I’m still working on redoing my home studio and master bedroom. I don’t have shit hung anywhere. It looks like I’ve already died and the vultures have been here! 👀

Spring cleaning + reorganizing + downsizing = nightmare 🤪

Especially when you have no design skills at all and everything you currently have is a mix-mash of wtfisgoingon 😩

And then add some sort of glitch that makes it hard for you to let anything go even though you don’t even fucking want it

🤪

I don’t know why I’m holding onto all this shit and it’s gonna come out into a poem at some point 😷

Free Love

Why do we decide choices in forever?
Attaching regret to eternity?

I was hoping next to never
Can you make that guarantee?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Would you know that Trent Reznor was never going to get married either and now he’s on like baby number 5 with MariQueen- I mean they have not stopped to take a fucking break.

I need some passion

*dies on street*

Rest easy my love

I’m not happy in my cage of loneliness. But I’m also just fed up with cheap sex, head games, and gaslighting.

I may very well be the last living creature who embodies the true free love spirit.

Ya me

*dies*

I’ve been searching for truth / and I haven’t been getting anywhere 🎵🎶🎵

Just didn’t want my love to be some sort of anchor that sinks your ship…

Mine has a few patched holes and may sink but you’re welcome to hop on board. It’s not a ship. More like some trash floating in the ocean I found to keep from drowning.

If you want some life advice?

You don’t have to live with your choices forever. And you don’t need to make new permanent ones.

You don’t actually have to sink with your ship and it’s okay to save yourself.

People grow and people change and they grow stagnant in their relationships and complacent and that’s why the love dies. You have to work at keeping the love alive and people aren’t really capable of doing that, some people are, some people have mastered it.

Love is a garden you gotta continue to water.

Stuff doesn’t make you happy.

Love is all you need?

I would really like a chance to find out. 😏

I’ve literally never been loved. By anyone. Or anything.

But hey, I recognize you. Or sorrow.

If I’m just some fling thrill ride, you don’t gotta cut my fins when you are done do you?

Can you be the one guy on Earth who doesn’t hurt me? And on purpose? Because you’re bored? Or soulless and evil?

I’m trying to find a safe place.

If you’re hurting, I’m sorry. I hope you find resolution. And peace.

You deserve happiness. Love. Fireworks. All the things.

*tosses life jacket in water* you can have mine

I didn’t have anything worth living for anyway…

Inconsolable

Inconsolable
The way you throb for her
I move through life
Like I’ve heard not a word
You’ll get what you deserve
My love decomposable
Grasping at darkness
It’s exposable
The Great Unearthing
You’re disposable

© Delia Ross. 2021

I love him / I love him not (final answer)

Sorry not sorry?

I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.

The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.


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Connection

I’m having trouble with connection
Like leaving the light on
Keep losing affection
Even with light gone

Face changing complexion
Forgiving his one wrong
When needing perfection
Not facing delights dawn

Still failing inspection
Why hands are withdrawn
Evading the question
Then lying with a yawn

Been nursing obsession
I’m sleeping on his lawn
Or chasing rejection
While writing the wrong song

© Delia Ross. 2020

To everyone who followed me and unfollowed me in 2020, I got your back… 👍

Goodbye 2020. Fuck you.

Control (Freestyle Spoken Word TikTok video)

New freestyle poetry dropped on my TikTok

You think you’re in control because I need your money?
You think I believe the lies you spread like honey?
I could leave without a care, my world would still be sunny!
The devil won’t even challenge me, says I’m the perfect study!!

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Nevermind me. Busy pushing everyone the fuck away.

Full link to my new freestyle spoken word TikTok video: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJbwn8qo/

Welp.

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


Wanderers

How does he manage to find me in his thoughts?
But then it makes me wonder how many dreams he has to cross?
When burning down his bridges does he ever feel a loss?
And when he’s out there wandering, is it me he’ll come across?

How many deserts will it take him to push me in Earth’s past?
But then it makes me wonder how long it ever lasts?
Been cutting ties so long our dreams have come to pass?
And I swore I heard hope’s echo but it flew by life too fast…

©Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

How many bridges will you burn to keep my dreams from you? And will you ever learn, I’ll still find you when you do? Is that why you’ll likely, leave a clue or two? And when I’ve disappeared, does it leave you feeling blue?

Rhyme was a skill I picked up as a little girl to help battle me woes. And so it goes…

Survival skills. But also the art of language. Afflictions. Secret messages to my love? Poetry is code. Vibrations. Another form of energy. A path for my hope to flow.

“No hope = no fear”

PostScript. I’m not really here. I’m not really there. I’m not really anywhere.

But my last breath will be a half-written rhyme. Maybe in blood. Give it time.


LinkTree= the universe you’ll find me


Love Me Naught

Got my finger on the block
I guess it’s better than my Glock
I know you watch me like a hawk
And then you turn around and mock

I know I’m always in your thought
I’m not quite the sinner you sought
I’m the girl you never caught
And you say you love me naught

Gonna block him again. Why not. That way, I can ignore his existence too. Eye for an eye.

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Ice Age

You fool, my love doesn’t disappear nor the sun
Mountains don’t crumble in a day
Your heart is an ice age
Look what you’ve done

My love, I must depart this tundra
Your soul is frigid carving doubt
I’ll barely even make it out
This ice is falling under

Look fool how worn’s the tether
It’s one or the other
I cannot be her
Fuck this weather

Tether cut. So bye.

© Delia Ross. 2020

Dark Matter

Life is only precious because it is fleeting
It’s a shame you and I won’t be meeting
Some people come into our lives only for leaving
It’s a hard lesson but where I am leaning

You’re all in or all out
There’s no middle ground to talk about
I give you my best, you give me your worst
One minute I’m free, the next I am cursed

Maybe I’m not the one or maybe I am
For what it’s worth now I don’t give a damn
For I am a lion and never a lamb
And the hand you are selling is only a sham

© Delia Ross. 2020

Finally freed my heart from your curse…

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Parlance

If I placed within your palm the center of my heart
Would you set it on a wooden pyre
Wrapped in silk and laced with fire
Soot and ashes for your quill of black art?

Would you rather have a table
Burning candles like starlight
Where you’d hold me like I’m life
Would my love you’d gently cradle?

In the parlance of our language
Like lovers at defeat
When I’m begging at your feet
Are these poems here to anguish?

In your heart do I expand
Like galaxies slowly forming
Or am I just another warning
Like the dead who died because they’re damned?

© Delia Ross. 2020

I’ve finally had some time to myself so I could write so here’s another another rhyme and this one was tricky 🙂

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The Answer

He knows the answer but still he will ask, why does the sky cry rain?
Knowing that the clouds carry all our weight and pain.

He ravages the Earth and pierces her with his spear, then asks, what are we doing here?
Feels like our grave. The end was coming anyway, he’ll say.

He says, love has no direction, while spinning in a circle. And he never sets his eyes on her. He’s lost connection. And all of yesterday. It’s just a shame. The answer is always the same.

© Delia Ross. 2020

Fallen angel (self-depiction)
Fallen angel (self-depiction)

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His Kingdom

I once could feast on him but only from afar
There are continents that separate our hope
His smooth head has been polished by time
I long to run my fingers over his kingdom
But my feet are not wanted on his land
That doesn’t stop the stars falling every night for his love
The moon perched on fantasy
His poems are auras in my soul
God made it so
The storms he brew in me
Where will the rain fall now?
Who will wash your feet?
The way I’ve done after you’ve murdered me
An outcast for mercy
Forgiveness I cried
Gullibility my only ally
The gardens do not grow the way they used to
Not since he banished hope
All welcome but you need not apply
You’re not worth my time
The moment I died

My halls are haunted now
By dreams that never came
And all the things we could have done
Are all that do remain

© Delia Ross. 2020

His poems are auras in my soul

I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal


Cold Winds + Mortars

After midnight poetry. Stuff in my head.

Block the cold winds blowing from the north
Frozen in time mistakes keep you from moving forth
Like the heavy winds from the north
You stop and weap
Holding down a crumbling fort
Eight days a week
You carry regret like a torch
Reminder: time is short

After midnight poetry. Stuff in my head.

Open quarters
Small circles
Blown mortars
Follow orders
Closed borders
Such horror

All blurs
No cures
Blood pours
More tours
Four doors
His wars


© Delia Ross. 2020




I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal? www.patreon.com/poeeternal

No Filter Monday (go with me here)

I woke up like dis! No filter Monday (go with me here, in isolation, all the days are the same). I know, I’m always a day late and a dollar short. It’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I normally do them on Instagram but Instagram wants to zoom the photos so I decided I’m going to do it on my blog today. No filter, no fancy lighting, no special camera tricks, no makeup, no plastic, no dye, no unique location, no cool clothing, not even coffee. Alas, just me early in the mornings and my eyes are still sleepy as I type this. Just plain and boring me. Freckles and hazel eyes, as I was born eons ago. And believe me it was eons ago. Decades upon decades. Oh, I feel a poem coming. Anyhoo. To be fair, many people have tried to change me over the years by pushing plastic on me (I still refuse to have any plastic on me because I like to feel my surroundings, therefore plastic surgery or fake nails, fake eyelashes, or any other fake stuff will never be part of my existence, sorry not sorry). I still get complaints of today that I don’t wax my eyebrows or get fake tans so I look like the color orange. I tried fake nails once for 2 weeks and I couldn’t feel a thing I touched and my fingernails themselves couldn’t breathe, gross. Plastic limits your sensories. There’s a disconnect from your soul. And there’s actually a movement that’s forming where women are getting their breast implants removed so that they can feel good again because they’re lethargic all the time and they can’t feel their surroundings. And dudes wonder why they can’t make their girl cum. Maybe if you stop pushing them to be fake they could feel things again. I don’t expect this to be a popular opinion but I’ve literally had guys tell me that they don’t like my boobs because they’re not fake. How dare you. Like, I’m a real individual. Don’t fucking diss me because I don’t live up to your standards of what real should be. You should never body shame a woman because they choose to not have their body parts cut off and removed. Like, I even breastfed my child an entire year. How dare you. Stop peer pressuring women into getting plastic surgery and body shaming them. How dare you. I’ve actually had to push through a lot of traumas because of people body shaming me for being real. How dare you. Anyway, it hasn’t been easy but alas I am 41 years old and still 100% natural. And being unmarried is a choice. A CHOICE. I am a fiercely strong and fiery independent woman. Hear me roar. Ahem, so now that I got that off my chest, I kinda feel better. Isn’t that kinda the entire purpose for writing? And I know some of my opinions aren’t popular but I’m not going to silence my voice any longer. But also, if I don’t learn to love myself I’m going to always be chasing after people who don’t love me as well. That ends today. So when you see me liking my own post or commenting to myself, it’s called self-love and you should try it.

P.S. I am in no way a vain person. And if body morphing is your thing cool, I support you. It’s your body. I just don’t feel like men/women/society should peer pressure women into doing it which has been my experience and it’s happened so many times and I’ve even had women complain that I don’t have a tan or my eyebrows waxed etc… the only modifications that I have and will likely get more of are tattoos and piercings. I gave up dying my hair as a resolution this year and so far I’ve stuck to it but I’m definitely not going to apologize that my hair color kind of looks faded. It’s also in its growing out phase. I took a razor to the side of my head last year, so I still have a good portion of my head with maybe 3 or 4 inches grown in. My hair is a mess. 😃

I currently weigh in at 120 lb at height 5’6″ and tiny Cinderella feet…

P.S.S. I’m getting ready to kick off an intense workout routine cuz I wanna cosplay and look gooddddd. I still need to tone up. I lost over 60 pounds (my last relationship was a nightmare and by the time I went no contact I weighed in at over 176 lb). If you are dating a narcissist go no contact and never look back. I did. And he still spies on me. Hoping he gets the *cough cough* I’m not even going to say it out loud cuz I don’t want that kind of karma on me but you know what I want to say… 😂

P.S.S. it takes a lot of courage to be yourself these days. 👍


© Delia Ross. 2020

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Protocol

I’m not interested in riches
Burning bridges
Living vicious
Or his digits

The way he itches
Making wishes
Hiding in ditches
Losing inches

I lost interest in the fires
All desires
Walking wires
Finding liars

He’s living slummy
Chasing honey
A gifted rummy
Acting dummy

My eyes were faded
Mostly jaded
Temporarily sedated
Now I’m frustrated

I’m over his wall
Yet still I crawl
A broken doll
Hating his protocol

© Delia Ross. 2020


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Across the Sky

The way he doesn’t care
The way he’s never there
The cold that’s from his hand
The heart that’s rather dead

The beauty from his shame
The face without a name
The weight that’s on his shoulder
While blindly growing older

The pain won’t wash away
I love him still the same
I’m bleeding every night
I’m frail from too much sight

I wish on every star
A word, or whisper far
I pray that he’s alright
He’ll always be my knight

The twist and burn from silence
My mind fills up with violence
I scream without a sound
I’m lost and never found

I’m forging my own trail
Where life is simply stale
Sorrow spreads across the sky
From his silent goodbye

© Delia Ross. 2020

An ocean of sadness, the end is all inside us (self-portrait 2020)

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Cowering

He’ll die a hundred times before his death
He’ll stand a coward as he holds his breath
He’s never loved but that’s my guess
Misunderstood and second-best

© Delia Ross. 2020


Look, I don’t think he is second-best but I believe he does and so he cowers into the man he will never be. It’s easier for him to die than it is to step. To become the man he could be. That takes real effort. Perhaps courage is what he lacks. He needs to go see The Wizard of Oz. I mean it’s the end of the world, no better time… And while he’s there I hope he gets me those little ruby red slippers. They will only fit my feet. Cuz he’s my home. TETHERED. And there’s nothing he can do about it..


No filter. All alone for the end of the world. *sigh*

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Hollowed

I don’t understand this lesson
How your actions leave me guessin’
And your heart’s not where it’s destined
And your praise to her hits like a lethal weapon

I’m not blind, I have eyes to see
And your poetry contains bits of me
You’re running wild yet you’re never free
But I’m moving on, without your poetry

It’s hard to count the many tears I’ve cried
And even harder, the lies you’re living by
I’d wish you well but then it’s me who lied
And though I’m dead my love for you survived

I feel empty, like a hollowed shell
Yet every tear has the weight of hell
If I’m missed, I can never tell
I know your love would get me feeling well

© Delia Ross. 2020


If you dig my writing, you can help support this advert free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Creature of the underworld…
I don’t like heartbreaks…
My heart is so heavy my eyes cry
I still hurts after all this time…
My hair is fookin’ long tho… almost as long as my regrets…

Rage

Cold in every manner
Lost faith in ones who matter
Still praying every hour
Too many tongues that spit and chatter

Her words hit like a bomb
I was no longer calm
There was blood on my palm
And I knew where the rage was coming from

Pray that every tear turns to a curse
Hide the devil here inside this verse
If he has a fear I’ll find what works
Thought he was a monster but he’s worse

© Delia Ross. 2020

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Crucifixion

If given chance, I’d be the one to put the spear into her side
Make her feel the weight of everyone she crucified
Put poison from the sponge onto her tongue because she lied
Never trust someone who has a devil as her guide

© Delia Ross. 2019



I’d order the crucifixion myself
I’d stand overwatch
I’d insert the spear myself
There are so many reasons to not like her
But I only need one…

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Ash

Whatever’s burning is ash
Smoldering versions of failure
Suits wearing a different behavior
But they all smell of traitor

Take a heart and stir it up
It never really mattered much
The bigger the fish, the bigger the bite
The brighter the truth, the lesser the sight

Whatever’s burning is trash
Lying, denying, the awful mistakes
The crying, the trying, the hope that it takes
Love was caught speeding, so I turned on the brakes

Take the flesh and deny it touch
Love was never here to adjudge
Free the sin, accuse the judge
Broken and shattered watch them begrudge

© Delia Ross. 2019


Y’all got to let shit go and stop chasing your tail and making the same mistakes over and over and over.

Rage

Reality came crashing down
And hit like a rogue wave
Promises like broken glass
Which sliver over rage

Life jackets unable to float
But still promising to save
Regret now a sinking ship
An apology is what I crave

Memories flood about
Like a visit to your grave
And earlier shall it now arrive
If you don’t learn to behave

Standing on his virtual plank
Tied and bound just like a slave
Recording every cry and slip
A down ending requires the brave

He might peek but never look
And your sorrow is an all-night rave
He may pretend that he is shook
But he’s the one that will deprave

Where clouds are as thick as doubt
And forgiveness you never gave
Where time is as thin as worry
And love it never came

© Delia Ross. 2019

Last

Ain’t no use standing on the ledge
Ain’t no use living on the edge
Ain’t no use deciding what went wrong
Ain’t no use crying all night long
Ain’t no use denying what was said
Ain’t no use pretending that we’re dead

Seven days, seven broken seals
Seven bottles, seven ways to feel
Seven hands but never any deals
So many hours, nothing helps to heal
Unanswered prayers left me where I kneel
So many arrows but none of them have the kill

Prayers just to get me through the pain
I’d give it all up for just another day
Darkness now engulfs my only view
I can’t accept that our time is through
Throw my troubles far into the past
Give myself a break from coming last

© Delia Ross. 2019

Valor

It takes alot of strength to be a good person
It takes alot of steel to not make it worsen
It takes alot of fuel to keep the flames burnin’
It takes alot of prayer to never feel a burden

So you shed another skin and you’re mending up your heart
It’s been patched so many times that it keeps falling apart
Make it up the hill before his love can depart
Climbing all this time, I guess it wasn’t very smart

Lay down my rifle, lay down my pen
Take a breath, count to ten
I’ll give forgiveness just don’t ask when
I still search for peace though I’ve lost all my zen

It takes a lot of dark to appreciate the day
But when you make it through there’s no reason left to stay
What does the hero do when he’s only come to pray
What does the writer write when there’s nothing left to say

© Delia Ross. 2019

Ought To Know

Now that the room is empty
And the coffin is nailed closed
Now that the guilt is plenty
Where few ever opposed

Now that less is trendy
And eyes have been sewed closed
Now that few is many
Where your masks have been exposed

Now that desert has found sea
And your words have decomposed
Now that stone is heavy
Was there more I ought to know?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I mean, all a man has is his word and honor so what does that make you!?! Your word is useless now. And honor? You’ll never know…

Likes and Comments

Regarding likes and comments, I will never like a post unless I’ve actually read it. I would comment more but I am weird and have a difficult time fitting in due to anxiety. Please take the time to read something I post if you’re going to hit the like button. I feel like bloggers are hitting like without reading, just so they can get likes in return. Tid for tat. But it’s heartbreaking to spill my words on these pages for free for you and you don’t even take the time to read the content, you’re just coming along giving my post a ton of likes and you’re not making any effort to listen to anything I do. It makes me want to isolate even more.

If I leave you two or three words under a post you’ve made, you should appreciate that just as much as someone who’s giving you an entire paragraph, you don’t know how hard it was for me to even reach out to you to start with.

All I’m asking is for you to please take the time to read a post before you “like it”, the same respect and courtesy I give to you, your writings, your blog, your time. I read you, I see you. Please see me. I’ve been used and ghosted enough. ✌

xxoo POEETERNAL (Delia)

Paragons

When you’re afraid to read your favorite writer’s works
Because his paragons with others really hurts
And if I had a value it would be zero worth
And there isn’t a sadder girl living on this Earth

When you quit your favorite writer
When you close your eyes to the world
When you toss your pen in the recycle
When you cry like a little girl

© Delia Ross. 2019


I can’t sit around and watch him collab with her, do spoken word for her, woe his twin flame. He’s wrong but I am gone.

Hello Farewell

Fairytale or nightmare
Heaven or hell
Common man or devil
This time I can’t tell

Leisure or battle
Sickly not well
Poison or apple
To leave or to dwell

Whole or a sample
Free or for sale
Space or a shackle
Real or a spell

So many I tackle
His shit I can smell
Tongues full of babble
Be quiet or yell

Fist or a grapple
Satin or shell
To flee or to straddle
Correct or misspell

Stand still now or paddle
The boat took a swell
Clear thoughts or to channel
Hello or farewell

© Delia Ross. 2019


Dropped spoken word of this on my Tuners account 👍

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Lists

Depression worry not
Just divide your time into slots
Write a list of don’ts
Match it with the won’ts
Give the list a plot
Tie it in a knot
Care not where I rot
Then again on second thought
Gotta find that perfect spot
And then maybe it’s worth a shot
I’m a zombie: life and death is a constant postpone
It takes all of my energy just to sit here and moan

© Delia Ross. 2019


Oh my fucking gawdddddd, how many times have you heard, “just make a list” when you are depressed? I’m going to make a list alright and shove it up their fucking ass. I can’t even make a list on how to die. My will is not up to date. I can’t even fucking decide on a way. Or a place. And then, the dog… BUT I digress, somehow, if I just start making lists on things to be done (with dying number one) then my life would be in order, and if I just let God in I wouldn’t be depressed either, so says society. But if I tell my doctors that I want to fucking kill myself, they’ll take everything from me and lock me up in a fucking rubber room. Barbaric are the practices for treating depression. So, since no one can get it fucking right, y’all get to sit back and judge me from behind your screens, and some of you will even poke and prod me and then when I bite you call me crazy and you disappear. And since society has a hard time understanding that being depressed is not the same as being fucking crazy, the death toll continues to rise and I’m trying my hardest to jump on that fucking bandwagon. But, I’m too lazy too sick to even write a list of things to get done. And I don’t think I really want to die, I just want a friend cuz isolation is cold and dark and it’s kinda scary in here and fuck you for not forgiving me for biting you when you caused me to bite in the first place. Shame on you.

  • Get house in order
  • Godparents for pets?
  • Update will
  • Say goodbyes
  • Write letters
  • Pick outfit
  • Method of dying?
  • Location?
  • Famous last words

If

If words had weight
If wrongs had reasons
If wounds didn’t ache
If forgiveness had seasons

If goodbyes came with rainbows
If my love was chose
If only I was enough
If only he’d show up

If hands had healing
If tears had feelings
If life had meaning
If hearts were beating

If moments were real
If love were ideal
If lights were not blinding
If you would stop hiding

If galaxies were moving
If darkness stopped the blooming
If alibis were candy
If heartaches were brandy

© Delia Ross. 2019

If only I knew how to end this fucking heartache…