Doubting John (poetry)

Lying there so cynical
Did I bring you miracle?
Wrapped in glitter and gold
Still you linger below
Can’t get a foot hold…

© Delia Ross. 2022

Wait. Have I been using the correct copyright year in my previous post?

I don’t do time anymore 🤪

I gave time up 👀

Also, I’m still writing poetry about you, and John, and us

Guess he’s just a part of us

Until I can get his bones out

He says he’d rather be in a pack on my back than in that fucking hole 🕳

I think I might be experiencing post traumatic stress from his death

But also

I can’t lose you 👀

Maybe you don’t save the world, but instead the girl that does 👁👄👁

I delivered you a poem and miracle

“What of those who believe without miracle and wonder”

Crucify her anyway!

I love you 💕

Align

I can see part of his face
Haunting me through time
I want to memorize his shape
Like a spiral on a spine
And the colors of his flesh
The canvas of divine
Takes the pain beneath the breast
Gives me hope to align

💕

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

*The below contains unpopular opinion and language* 🤓

Is it true that trademarks are only recognized in some countries now?

It’s a bold statement to make, it’s just I saw something pop up on a video game about trademarks being recognized in some countries only – or at least, that’s how I perceived it. I seem to read between the lines (or gaslighting).

So the FDA has banned menthol but I could turn myself into a lizard if I want? 🤔

So, I can get a full body lizard tattoo and split my tongue, and get a full sex change operation, I can identify as a carrot BUT it’s illegal to smoke a menthol cigarette? 🤔

Somebody help me the fuck out

I can sew up my pp and chop off my boobs but I can’t smoke a menthol? 🤔

Wait, what.

We can still feed sugar crack to 3 year olds but I can’t smoke a fucking menthol? 🤔

So I can give this god damn sugar crack to recommended age 3+, but I can legally no longer buy a pack of menthol? 🤔

It’s fucking cancer + crack and recommended right there on the package for age 3+

But menthol is fucking banned.

Uhm, okay who is running the fucking country?

Y’all have lost y’all damn mind

I don’t even smoke anymore but on the rare occasion that I do, it’s a fucking menthol.

I just don’t understand the world anymore and I can’t blame it on my brain injury any longer.

I haven’t been voting for any of this shit!

I don’t want my tax money going to NASA!!!!!

In other news, if I die, I’m still gonna be taking my last breath dreaming about you.

Because I like how you lean on my lips and touch my cheeks with your fingertips.

I like the little ways you go above and beyond to show me you care.

I like living off your breath because it’s the nectar of life.

Your kiss.

And all I want before I die.

My cat mask arrived after a bit of a challenge to get it! I’ve had a lot of request to bring back the cat cosplay but I wanted to upgrade to a better mask! I haz done! Hope you like! It’s a spectacular mask!

Getting to do cosplay is my passion and I’m always listening to what you like and I’m always behind the scenes trying to get better, to enhance my makeup skills, my costumes, my wardrobe, my camera skills. All the things.

I love drama and the arts, cosplay is improv time for me!

My workout routine has been halted, but not my diet. 🤢

I’m not quitting my photography, writing, or cosplay.

Though moving now at a snails pace.

I got it from Amazon Prime – a favorite place to shop no doubt. Been shopping there for years. Even bought my Epiphone guitar kit from there. Came with everything, still working good. 🤓

SOS

My love,
My lines must sink from the ocean to your door?

My love,
Are you the ocean floor?

Will I always be lost among your seas?
Searching forevermore?

Like an echo lost in a valley, you’re the hope I explore.

You heard the seagulls cry?
Echoing my rhyme?
My fingers touch waters of divine.
Wave after wave, line after line.

I love you for all of time.

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I don’t know who you are or where you are. Everyone could be you. But I don’t ever wanna leave the earth, as long as you are on it.

I can’t breathe without you.

You’re like the only hope I have left in the world.

You’re like the holy fucking grail.

(I’d die for your sins)

Silver Lining

You always did stand out from the crowd
Even though I fled the scene during stormy weather
You carried your words like that of a songbird crooning in the early hours
A melody of longing and hope behind a silver shroud
The kind of song that makes you sit down and write a letter
About a love that sprung without any warning
Your voice carried different notes
Inside each line a buried treasure
I keep finding my heart in you
Are you my silver lining?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I’d Give You

I’d give you the sky
Eternal arched holy rainbow
Darkness say goodbye
Hello eternal rainbow
To keep hope held high

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I feel like I’m falling behind. Consistently, like I’m falling behind. Is this what swimming upstream to your death feels like?

(A 3D version of me)

We’ve now moved into a realm where the possibility of Planet X is high probability.

We’re 2000 light-years closer to Sagittarius A* than we’ve realized. We’ve also found out that our distances were way off, they are using new methods to calculate distances. Things are closer to us than they appear. Like in our rear view? And do they ever account for that? 🤔

Maybe the ending of “Is Genesis History” is not so ridiculous after all but I’m still obsessed with that movie, as I am dinosaurs, and that film talks about all sorts of cool shit. Like how old the Earth actually is based on the calculations of the rock formations on Earth and these are scientists. Eh, as a Generation X, I have found that everything I was taught growing up was a f****** lie. I slept through most of my life, plugged into The Matrix. I tried to free many people but have since learned that just like in the film many people want to stay plugged in. Bah. I’m too tired or dead to give a shit. But the animals, the trees!! *sobs* I feel Earth’s gravity tugging on me. Or maybe it’s that giant f****** black hole in the center of our galaxy that’s lurking and I guarantee you come the next update we’ll find we’re even closer to it.

next Apophis flyby APRIL 2-0-2-9 / the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour in fact is quite here (-)

I hope I get to kiss you before the end of the world

Snow

He falls like snow
Gently weeping
Hope crystallized
White and pristine
And do my wings fall deeply
Leaving patterns unstained
Just memories to remain
He comes like cold December waving
Celestial dreaming
Calm and endless

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I just dropped a new mental health TikTok! Have you seen it? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMej83c2A/

Thanks for checking out my work!

The Nameless

You left messages in the clouds
When all your sky was dread
So I withdrew the shrouds
And colored rainbow instead

You said the crop was dry
And maybe even dead
So I sprinkled hope heaven high
And let the fire spread

From eternal hope love’s leaning
To your soul it is grain
And if my love has any meaning
Then these words are open plains

I swore I heard a blue bird singing
He had such sweet refrain
But then I woke from dreaming
And couldn’t name your name

© Delia Ross. 2021

I mean, I just freestyle wrote this. What. Stop rhyming? I mean, like maybe after I die. MAYBE.

He Said, She Said

He said, they really never spoke
Still galaxies were forming from words they wrote
Feathers were pluming where islands were looming
And oceans were filling where she woke

He said, his life was but a cloak
Still volcanoes were smoking where they mope
Mountains were pulling, where islands were cooling
And it took all he had to give her hope

He said, life is but a joke
Still clouds were crying where she broke
Skies filled with lightning, where stars were aligning
And around her head was love instead of rope

He said, nothing could help him cope
Still ink was spilling on pages they soak
Earth was evolving, where love was revolving
And his hand was the only hand she’d grope

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Carl Jung

Opposites attract. Yin and yang. Positive and negative. Me and you.

I’m gone and I’m forgotten
I’m gone like I never existed at all

Sidenote: I still love you. I’m learning to love the distance too (because you’re not the only one who tells lies).


My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal


Double Rainbows (rare event). My dad died.

*edit* RIP daddy. This event was you telling me goodbye. Now I know!

Huh. Weird orange hue. Why is the sky orange. Sure, the Sun is rising but…

So, I had a peek out my blinds. Still didn’t explain the orange hue. Dog must wait. Safety first.

Slipped on my flip flops with phone in hand (it’s almost ritualistic- the phone checking upon waking). Went outside.

Still did not understand what was causing the sky to be completely orange. Did we get nuked? Is there a sandstorm coming? This isn’t a sunrise. This looks kinda terrifying.

Then a huge rainbow formed before my eyes. From one end of the sky to the other. A prism of color. And then behind it, another!!!

And it almost seemed like it was inside this big bubble. The bubble verse theory I was studying.

And I’ve been reading a lot about the Multiverse Bubble theories lately and am coming to this conclusion that I’m starting to believe in it more than that ridiculous Big Bang theory.

But I do. And I’ve been trying to make sense of my world and what it all means, if it’s all going to end anyway. I am the universe experiencing itself. We all are. And so I’ve been thinking a lot about energy and how it can’t be created or destroyed.

I think about the interconnectivity. How we’re all one.

Anyway, I think the double rainbow was a sign.

And, I’d never seen a rainbow so vividly last so long.

Seconds generally.

Well, I ran out of room on my device filming this double rainbow for over 6 minutes.

I dropped the video of the double rainbow on my Instagram IGTV.

The double rainbow reminds me to keep going. That in life, the things you love may be out of reach. But that doesn’t mean that the love wasn’t felt or received. Sometimes, optical illusions are real. And even if by worlds separated, love travels at light-speeds.

I sat and watched that weird ass bubble in the sky, along with those double rainbows that arched high across the sky, until it faded and I could see it no more.

Bye daddy. Hope you had a great final gig in the sky! 😭😭😭