Noose

Just tie the noose around my neck and finish what you started
Just sharpen up the blade and kill the broken hearted
Just take me back to my mistake where we both have parted
Just give me one more chance to see that you’re not heartless

Just give me the rules and regulations neatly worded
Just tell me that the ruling is now another verdict
Just tell me that my presence is not for you a burden
Just please don’t give your love to another person

© Delia Ross. 2019


This is what purgatory feels like I’m certain. If my soul isn’t burning from flames of desire for him, then it’s burning from the shames of despair and longing. I can’t stop crying though and that’s how the ocean got here… (so there may be another poem coming).

I’m sorry I haven’t been active on your blogs, it takes energy, and I’m not wanting to talk to anyone, I’m isolating myself again and I don’t like to do things half-hearted, so when I get back on your blogs, I’ll be sure to catch up on the poems I have missed rather than go in without a full head and heart. I’m sorry but I’m a soldier and communication isn’t always easy for me and I have a hardened shell and come off more stern than I mean to be. It’s a defense mechanism, I’m really sweet and kind in person. Unless I’m hungry, then feed me. But I am frequently stepping on toes and pushing boundaries even if I’m trying to behave. I don’t fit in with the world. I never have. We’re the same, but we’re not. I’m from a different planet completely. I actually APPLIED to go live on another planet, and I became a CANDIDATE, and that might not sound like a big deal but for a nerd like me it makes my panties wet. SO, if I can survive the humiliation of my existence, I’ll try and do a post on that soon. I’m a busy gal.

Angel Queen Darling

“My angel” words smooth as satin slipping from his tongue
Her wings of despair went flying in the air and love deep into her lung
“My queen” tattooed on her heart and there his creed was flung
“My darling” were the sweetest words she had ever heard sung
Whatever he called her, it made her feel loved and young

© Delia Ross. 2019


“If only I were as pretty and adored as she…”


Have you ever been loved? By someone like her? The one you casted aside? Me? Have you ever loved at all?


“The greatest thing you can ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return…”

Trixter

He offered me the sky, said it would be no problem to buy, if I wanted it
He flashed diamonds in my eye, that should easily satisfy, said I have credit
Replace that hardened cry, with a fresh necktie, I’ve got the perfect fit
I looked the devil in the eye, I said you trixter of a guy, as the blood left my wrist

© Delia Ross. 2019


Suicide awareness everyday. I’m on the guestlist to see Peter Hook in Atlanta this month, I’ve waited all year for this. My only REGRET in life would be not hearing this live. Why is this related? Well, the lead singer/songwriter of a band I dig died by suicide, Ian Curtis. When that happened, Joy Division became New Order and NO is a favorite band. Hooky was the co-founder of both bands. I dance alot to New Order. ALOT.

Ian Curtis – suicide
Mina Tepes – suicide
Kurt Cobain – suicide
Judas Iscariot – suicide
Etika – suicide
Robin Williams – suicide
Archias of Cyprus – suicide
Hunter S Thompson – suicide
Diaeus – suicide
Sylvia Plath – suicide
Cleopatra – suicide
Alexander McQueen – suicide
Marilyn Monroe – suicide
Chris Cornell – suicide
Ernest Hemingway – suicide
Michael Hutchence – suicide

Me with the leader of the goth revolution, Peter Hook, last year in Orlando, I was on the guestlist. Don’t know if I’ll get to meet him this time, but I can’t wait to hear the songs, some of my favorite will be played this time, and Hooky is my favorite bass player! This was taken on a crappy cellphone after hours of dancing/sweating, care nots! It’s actually a fun story, I didn’t realize it was actually Hooky smoking inside the building under the “no smoking” sign, when I asked to come down to that particular area and he invited me down that way three times. I dropped my purse in the middle of the backstage hall when I realized it was Hooky and followed him out the door leaving my purse and pass on the floor! About 10 minutes later the manager of the venue brought it to me as I was still outside shook from having just met Hooky. I was like OMFG THANK YOU cuz I was mingling with the rest of the band and talking to others so it still wasn’t on my mind that my purse was in the middle of the hall backstage floor. Gig life. The entire story is longer. 😂
I was guestlisted for Peter Hook & The Light, Orlando, Florida 2018
My favorite place to be, front row of a favorite band (Peter Hook, New Order / Joy Division 2018, crappy cellphone photo by me)

92 Million Miles Away

Trying to reach him is like trying to reach a star
92 million miles away but still close enough to scar
The further the tether, the closer we are
But when it comes to his love I never reach far

The Sun never sleeps but he is missing from the night
Yet there are days when it’s best he’s out of sight
The Moon has phases where she hides from his light
But when they are united, heaven shines so bright

© Delia Ross. 2019

Eclipse of my heart…

Clean Dirty Mouth

You can take the soap and wash words from my mouth
But I never meant for any of them to ever come out
And if you ever forgive me, my love is facing south
And all the dirt within me, took a different route

© Delia Ross. 2019


You ever have your mouth washed out with soap? I did once when I was ten and I misspelled shirt by spelling shit on my quiz, which the teacher said I did on purpose, because apparently I’m little miss perfect. So she called my mom and they both agreed I shouldn’t have misspelled a word in First grade and thus bathroom “lick the soap twice”. I wanted to fucking kill them. I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without murdering someone. God literally made me incapable of physically hurting another human being. Because “little miss perfect” *rolls eyes* *flaps wings*

It’s possible my subconscious did misspell a word because I was being beat at home but I only got beat more at school so…

I am a Leo tho, and I was certain then it was a mistake… I was already upset when I saw my grade was less than perfect, but now, a liar too!?! Age ten was toughs.

Things (but mostly love)

Her hopes take flight, it catches starlight, it rides the night, it gives her dreams sight, for his love she will fight



He knows not his creed but it is burned to my tongue-
Like a tattoo by fate, open my gate and come


Please need me


I crawled on when my hope was gone
I saw sun but my eyes were burned
I found love where the hand was numb
I gave love when it would not come



He writes the most beautiful poetry
And I want to organize them into little treasures for my mind
An instrument of the finest wording and it starts with his rhyme
Pluck a note from me, as I’m slightly off key
It doesn’t take much to tune me when his writing is my shrine
He intoxicates me better than the finest wine


His words should come with a sign that reads, “do not engage”


So innocent was her love, so pure
The bouquet of poetry he would write would allure
It was love of this she was sure
In the afterglow of words she felt secure


Want a dose of paranoia mixed with anxiety? Well, if he is her and you are me and they are them, then who the fuck is she?


He doesn’t know it but he is a giant in my heart.


He was unaware of her worth
But there was something in her eye
And the look was divine
And it tasted of desire
Love sprung from the Earth



Everyone seems to be living such wonderful lives and I just want to hide in his eyes


He comes back for my love
When he’s lost his reserve
Just as I am giving up


Most days my soul is suffocating
Bouncing up and down
Flipping and flopping
Gasping for air
Frantic and in despair
Where is the life?


Silence brings violence


He’s not quite 6 feet but every bit iron foot


Just because you think I’m perfect doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I’m good. Just because you don’t think I’m worth it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I could.


Death didn’t hurt. Everything else did.


He moves fast through my heart like rapids…


What I would give to be shifted to number one.


Love goes on through the seasons.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Safehouse

If there is a world where I exist
Please visit
I am a rainbow just waiting to get sunkissed
Like a solar flare my moods can get explicit
But it is through destruction where life has risen
And now you give love a speed limit
And you tie a ribbon of shame around my spirit
You label yourself “critic”
Where once a safehouse requiring no picket
I’d enter, I’d rest, and my dreams were so vivid
I’d cry and I’d dance and I loved you every minute
Your love was a sticky mist
I inhaled all of it (give me a fix)

© Delia Ross. 2019

Love Beats On

“Stop! What are you doing?”, he demanded an answer holding a look of shock
Her face stained with black mascara and fear so thick she could hardly talk
He kneeled down beside her, their eyes in a gridlock
“I’ve learned you are the one and now it’s time to walk the walk”
Lips connected and fate started their heart clock

Love beats on…

© Delia Ross. 2019

A sad beginning with a happy ending. The middle is now. Unwritten.

Sad angel (selfie)
Teach me that I’m worth more than my mistakes (selfie)
I think people should be worth more than their mistakes (selfie)
Don’t you? (Selfie, no filter)

What Would Edgar Do?

Dear Edgar, tell me, what is it you would do?
Did your love make you a prisoner, too?
You crafted her poems and she loved you,
But that doesn’t work for me, no matter what I do.

Dear Poe, you were a cryptologist, you can solve this code?
The answer must be hidden, but the window has narrowed.
He keeps his soul hidden, where none have burrowed,
But ever since I found him, time has simply slowed.

© Delia Ross. 2019

I suppose he would die of a drunken, broken heart, naked and broke on the streets. Feels vaguely familiar…

Words Like Bullets

Where do you go in the dark with my heart
Words fire from my tongue like a bullet from a gun
The damage inaccessible but already done

Where do you go with my broken dreams
Do you savor the sounds of the sorrow they bring
When it comes to being hollow who is the king

Where have you gone with my voice
Give me a list of the roads I should void
You left me in rage, my tongue had no choice

© Delia Ross. 2019

Lists

Depression worry not
Just divide your time into slots
Write a list of don’ts
Match it with the won’ts
Give the list a plot
Tie it in a knot
Care not where I rot
Then again on second thought
Gotta find that perfect spot
And then maybe it’s worth a shot
I’m a zombie: life and death is a constant postpone
It takes all of my energy just to sit here and moan

© Delia Ross. 2019


Oh my fucking gawdddddd, how many times have you heard, “just make a list” when you are depressed? I’m going to make a list alright and shove it up their fucking ass. I can’t even make a list on how to die. My will is not up to date. I can’t even fucking decide on a way. Or a place. And then, the dog… BUT I digress, somehow, if I just start making lists on things to be done (with dying number one) then my life would be in order, and if I just let God in I wouldn’t be depressed either, so says society. But if I tell my doctors that I want to fucking kill myself, they’ll take everything from me and lock me up in a fucking rubber room. Barbaric are the practices for treating depression. So, since no one can get it fucking right, y’all get to sit back and judge me from behind your screens, and some of you will even poke and prod me and then when I bite you call me crazy and you disappear. And since society has a hard time understanding that being depressed is not the same as being fucking crazy, the death toll continues to rise and I’m trying my hardest to jump on that fucking bandwagon. But, I’m too lazy too sick to even write a list of things to get done. And I don’t think I really want to die, I just want a friend cuz isolation is cold and dark and it’s kinda scary in here and fuck you for not forgiving me for biting you when you caused me to bite in the first place. Shame on you.

  • Get house in order
  • Godparents for pets?
  • Update will
  • Say goodbyes
  • Write letters
  • Pick outfit
  • Method of dying?
  • Location?
  • Famous last words

Exiled (Again)

They say I’m crazy but I’m really just a child
And when they act up I start acting wild
And when there’s no attention it only makes me riled
It’s like everyone’s a tribe and I’m the only one exiled

They say I’m crazy but I never did grow up
They don’t call me cougar cuz I’m still a cub or pup
Being an adult just wasn’t in my cup
It only requires nurturing to watch me develop

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’m a flower and if you pour light on me watch how I bloom (you can call me tulip)

Never

Nothingness matters
Gravity in the darkest seed
Too many hers floating in his seas
Lick the hand where it bleeds
Watch the hate fill the need

His wrongs cancel any good
He’ll lie and tell you I misunderstood
Straight from the pits of Hell to a young girl’s neighborhood
He’s never known integrity anywhere he stood
I’ll never forgive him even if I could

© Delia Ross. 2019

Carcinogen

Gone but now back again
And by the end of the week
You’ll be missing then
It’s becoming routine
A cycle of ends
And now another peak
Is there ever zen
If honesty were to leak
I needed a friend
So frail and rarely meek
Are these Earthmen
It’s not what I seek
And you are carcinogen

© Delia Ross. 2019

Could use a fag now actually… (do Americans know it’s slang for cigarettes!?!)

Twilight

Tuck me into twilight
Let your lips touch my dreams
Your love is the skylight
And hopeful are its streams

The Moon is a spotlight
Where you can find my love every night
And every star in the sky –
The amount of times you made me sigh

I love you through all eternal
I will always be your angel
Unto you I will be faithful
This love is yours to cradle

© Delia Ross. 2019

Tied To My Love

His love is like an eclipse

Or the highest peak of a mountain range covered in clouds

His love is a wild river overrun

A dry desert now muddy

He has energy like the Northern Lights which flutter in my soul

His grasp is a tether tied to my love

© Delia Ross. 2019

(I want to turn this into a rhyme so badly but…)

Am I suppose to stop loving him? I need answers.

The Day I End

There she is, it is death on the horizon
And follow my sorrows she will
Until the day I end

There it goes, all the light from the Sun
I was looking for love where none of it was real
I was looking for hope in any direction I could ascend

There it flows, my hope is on the run
And bring with it a fear that covers with chill
While the devil whispers softly “suicide is your friend”

© Delia Ross. 2019

Middle

I’ll take the middle of the night, when I’m feeling alright.
I’ll take the middle of the rush, I can never get enough.
I’ll take the middle of your love, where it fits like a glove.
I’ll take the middle of the page, and the center of your stage.
I’ll take the middle of your lie, the part you said you would try.
I’ll take the middle of the day, it feels the same anyway!
I’ll take the middle of knowing, that is where truth starts glowing.
I’ll take the middle of goodbye, that’s where our love died.
I’ll take the middle of nowhere, that’s the place I don’t care.

© Delia Ross. 2019

The Trouble With Forever

The trouble with forever
It happens rarely ever
They put it in a letter
Then say that it is treasure

The trouble with forever
It happens next to never
They promise you less error
Then leave in stormy weather

The trouble with forever
For worse or for better
At first they give you pleasure
Then the rest is only terror

The trouble with forever
It feels light as a feather
It promises only leisure
But it’s gone once there’s pressure

© Delia Ross. 2019

Necklace

It was like into a black hole my life was ejected
If pain had been running for presidency, it would have been elected
Now when I’m on my knee the pain feels more infected
Now when I think of you my heart feels more congested
Will you ever tell me why my heart was not accepted?
Will you take all my love and put it in a necklace?

© Delia Ross. 2019

“Where do I put the love?”

Writings On My Wall

Sun salutations
Wrong allegations
Misweighted information
Long lines of waiting
Years we spent wasting
Love we’ve been chasing
Hearts have been breaking
So tired of hating
Constantly debating
Everyone is faking
Lying & taking
People are shaking
The world is deteriorating



What sort of end are you after
Destroyed it all, even the laughter
Killed the love in the heart of the matter
Took to flight, left agony here to gather


They are like Romeo and Juliet destined to be driven apart yet tethered together by the heart


Here it comes, the end again but this time he brought the apocalypse with him. Lasso my smile and pull down my grin cuz here it is the end again.


Did you know
Wherever you are
I still love you

Did you know
Whoever you become
I will always love you


And then he softly asked about my wants, “just forever babe, I’ll take forever babe”


Give my regards to Bacchus
Tell him I’m just a carcass
But if it wasn’t for his sweet wine
I might not make it through this time


He creates the wave
Then punishes me for riding it
The riptide pulls me under
And he watches me persist



I thought I was falling
I thought you would catch me
I thought I was falling
But it was only a hole
For my soul
Where did the love go?
All I feel is empty
And cold, in this beautiful hole
You dug for me


Hello non-believer
Of anything

Here lies a possibility,
But could you believe her?


The edge is on the horizon
The horizon is how you die
But the wave you’re currently riding
Is the fear you feel inside
As the doom continues rising
So does the panic to decide
So now the boat where you were hiding
Is now the place your soul has died
As you think of all the times you tried
And you let go of hope one final time
Blame the shade of sorrow for why you cried
And your final word becomes goodbye



If you ever feel the sadness in you growing
You never were the reason for me going

Sorry if you saw my love as poison
When it comes to failure I was the chosen

And to a world that’s evermore vacant
You weren’t the reason for me ever staying

Love was something I never knew
And if my love was warm well now it is frozen


Take the wool and pull it over someone else’s eyes please


It’s like everyone is set on destruction mode
And I am set to go… here’s the code, 123, watch me blow
But what happened? I don’t know


And the sign says “you are too qualified”
And the sign read “you are too good”
I apply instead and still get denied
He’ll reply and say “you misunderstood”

And the eye will say “all welcome here”
And the room will stare, “are you misplaced dear”
And the mind will lie and replace the fear
And his hand extends, “this way’s not clear”


Take for granted my kindness I give to you
Take for granted the nights I tried to get through
Take my love and bury it six feet under too
You can’t kill it no matter what you do


She’s at it again, same ole tricks
Like a snake using sex to lure sin
Like a witch with a capture potion
It’s the only way she can get any licks


She was a doll and they all wanted her to break.


You’re getting close, getting close, getting closer
You’re moving fast, always last, getting older
Nobody knows, though we asked, for some closure
Same ratios, lethal dose, then it’s over


An angel slipped from the clouds of heaven
Looking over eternity to get a better view of him
Golden gates spread into the wide open
She spiraled down the hope of his dreams
And he awoke with her feather under his pillow
And from its tip, he spilled his ink all over her future

She danced among the wails of purgatory
Decades she waited outside walls of longing
She stabbed the night so light could shine through
And every star that twinkles is a wish she made for you
His step grows lighter, while her wing drags across his bruise
Her heart carries the weights of love
Her love so pure an ounce can make dreams come true


I slip into his poetry like a favorite pair of pajamas.


Living alone, hiding decline
Rainbows to prison at anytime
Dust keeps collecting above his faint shrine
So he keeps to settling among the lost swine


To me, he’s worth more than any gold
Long ago his self-worth was sold
He dwells among shadows as he was once told
He’ll need to find his courage to be bold


He’s so deep in me
My aura is spinning
And through spirals I’m swimming
In a loop of beginnings
And with a touch of fate, no endings
These soulquakes


I am a galaxy so faint you can barely see it.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Clippings from the sleeve of my heart…

Webs

He takes my mistakes and spins it like thread; And out from the web the finest dread

He takes my regret and puts it in the fire; And out of the pit come my worst desire

He takes my shame and puts it on his feet; And next thing you know he’s down the street

He takes my love and puts it on his mantle; Then he swears protection on his broken angel

© Delia Ross. 2019

Identity

Ruined! Ruined! He would croon
And sit I would under his Blue Moon
He’d stitch at his identity until noon
And come tomorrow sing a different tune

© Delia Ross. 2019

Essentially, all of our lives we are trying to figure out who we are. We all wear masks, don’t fool yourself. Welcome to ego. Destination: piss poor self-esteem or narcissism. Welcome to the 5th level of hell. It’s really hard to manage your consciousness here or “self”. I hope you brought rum… (and if not, why the fuck is the rum gone!?!)

Sycamore

Like pieces of Sycamore branching off
Exposing the white of the bark
Exposing the light from within my sweet heart
These pieces break off so you can build an ark
Now take your worry and leave it in the dark

© Delia Ross. 2019

I would like to be crafty enough to grow this one. Some of you find words like molasses. Others dig and dig and dig and still find none.

Percentages

Atone? She scoffed, her wings curled in and the tips had frost

And then from the distance and frigid past, a noise of an entry, he returned at last

And the shockwaves and ripples, commenced, standing on emptiness

She sighed, “what did you forget”?

“…that I’m in, one hundred percent”, he replied

© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t really know what to call this thing but it was just something I was feeling cuz feelings happen in the now…

Carat

I try to be real underneath the private
I shed skins of transparency where most will hide it
And words they slip off my tongue like velvet
I gift him poetry instead of expensive carat

© Delia Ross. 2019

If you are tired of reading my micropoetry, feel free to read my 3 part epic tragedy I wrote a few years back (more like over a decade ago but who’s counting)… it’s titled MY SON and I feel is some of my greatest work (it’s super easy to use the little search box on my site but also, this year was the first time I released it publicly, it previously could only be found in my book)…