Depression Avenue, Anxiety Lane

My brain says to go left
So my feet instead go right

My soul says to give it up
Yet my body puts up a fight

I’m so tired of feeling low
But my eyes stay in the light

Everybody thinks they know
But they haven’t got the sight

Round and round the Sun may go
But my days aren’t very bright

I have shelter from the cold
Yet my heart has frostbite

I am scared so I act bold
But I mostly feel uptight

© Delia Ross. 2019

Illusion

Words needn’t be backed up with a promise to have meaning
Lying seems to be the direction everyone is leaning
Tongues twist and slither without feeling
Inserting poison which keeps us from dreaming
And as the blood boils our hearts stop beating
Hate simmers and spreads in a cycle of repeating
And from this dark spiral we keep feeding
Outnumbered, my feet and love start receding
Here comes another decade of me screaming
Hope faded with the dawn of needing
My love is the only love that can bring healing
My soul is weary and ready for eternal sleeping
I fight to stay alive God willing
I wish I could stop my love from ever leaking
These demons feast from me and leave me freezing
As I lay dying I start believing-
Love is just an illusion to keep me from leaving

© Delia Ross. 2019

Rhyme

I live where his garden grows
I rise when his sun shines
I hop between the rows of rhyme
And flower like a rose

As I spread across his vine
Are gone these constant lows
My spirit smells of wine
My sorrow burrows where nobody knows

I place every syllable in a shrine
And watch my tears decompose
I lose all track of time
While I’m bandaging my woes

© Delia Ross. 2019

Scarecrow

Take a bite of silence
Spread it like a virus

Watch the hour widen
Feel the pain ripen

As hearts growing calloused
Whose wall is tallest

Add it to the distance
A sweet tongue now viscous

A truth more painful than a lie
A hello more terrifying than goodbye

With all parties now listening
Two of the same are wishing

On a star which died many years ago
What remains is a shadow

Though they wouldn’t know
No they wouldn’t know

He remains as a scarecrow
Protecting over his soul

© Delia Ross. 2019

Mercy

I have been living in the shadows of the unworthy
I have been skipping in the streets of doubt

I gave a lot of hell to reason
I took a detour on the wrong route

My hands became bloodthirsty
After my tongue experienced drought

I lost the better meaning
Building bridges with no way out

I’d welcome his friends any season
Because mercy was made not to shout

© Delia Ross. 2019

Masks

We all have skeletons in our closet
Some wear many masks
We all tuck lies in our pocket
With questions never asked
If any were to audit
They’d see plenty had been tasked
It would hit you like a rocket
The truth would come so fast
And it is as loud as a trumpet
Truth will feel harassed
A sinner of mistruth or a prophet
The unknown is so vast
If only he hadn’t known it
Our love might have last

© Delia Ross. 2019

Haunting

Baby, why do you hide?
Is there room for me inside?

Baby, why have you run?
Is it something that I’ve done?

Baby, why did you go?
Am I someone you don’t want to know?

Baby, why are we hurting?
Do you feel we’re not worth it?

Baby, why do you fear?
Everything we wanted is finally here.

Baby, I didn’t mean to push you away
Please tell me you’re coming back someday?

Baby, why do you haunt me like a ghost?
When I’m the person who misses you most

© Delia Ross. 2019

Age of Reason

I struggle with reason. I dwell on it, rub over it like a pig in mud. Try it on, wear it overnight, sometimes invite it over for the weekend. And when pleasing, cook it a good meal. It takes awhile to break in, like a good pair of shoes that you love but that hurts your feet. They bleed and cause blisters yet you wear them anyway. You think the money or time invested is now worth the pain. So many hours pounding the streets in them. The pain never fades, it burrows and claws its way into every moment, crushing stone as you walk. Time moves on, leaving bitter trails stained with blood, a journey harder than once thought. Your worry weighing down, as peace is not coming back, and it cost more than you originally bought. In the end, you come to know every season. Every why. Every when. Every how. Reason will be an uninvited guest. Knowledge will begin to feel like treason. How could you not know? Until this very moment. With death lingering like a demon.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Crucifix

I cross lines not made for me
He sails across my stormy sea

I break rules when he is not around
He has the strength to carry my frown

Where I see apocalypse
In his view is an eclipse

Though my cross is more than I can carry
He offers a hand so it is less heavy

My troubles are handled by the soul of a clown
Despite my flaws he continues to carry my crown

Distance befalls the soul as a crucifix
Navigating ghostly tides to find each other’s lips

© Delia Ross. 2019

Vintage

Why can’t for once someone accept my love
Try it on like a pair of pants or gloves
Wear it a bit longer like a stylish cut
Or so many times as you would a favorite
Until it is covered in stains and cigarette burns
And smells of a favorite expensive perfume
It smells of dizzy lovers
Cheap whiskey
Heavy regrets
Well, hopefully not any of those yet
Tattered and torn but the pockets still work
It’s vintage (like the best stuff)
All the hours connected to skin
It wrapped you during any weather
It would do it again
You ponder trashing it in the bin
A gift to charity is less of a burden
Never contemplating sewing it at the hem
Fixing parts where it may be broken

© Delia Ross. 2019

Debris

I got to where I never cry
I can feel the hours passing by
I keep the blinds closed from any sunshine
It doesn’t cost me a dime
To waste all my time
It feels like the wrong design
I still tell them all that I’m fine

Suffocate on all the energy
Surrounded by negativity
Completely numb without sensory
Nothings ever bothering me
Nothing to ever do, no one to see
Married to my invisibility
My soul a wasteland filled with debris

© Delia Ross. 2019


Summoned

Written words intended to sting
Written traps that would wound a king
Tied it tight to the back of my wing
Stuck around to feel him tugging
Held so tight he could feel me cutting
Cried so loud he could here me coming
Insert the spear while his heart is still pumping
Make sure he knows that I am not bluffing
Leave him broken so he can’t feel nothing
At least then I know he can feel something
And get a taste of the pain he is causing
Let him know how bad I am hurting
Teach him a lesson about deserting
Tie his feet so he can’t keep on running
Oh my love what are we becoming
This isn’t the love that I had summoned

© Delia Ross. 2019


Intro

It hurts more than my feelings
It hurts more than my pride
It hurts more than my ego
It hurts more than your lies

It cost more than your freedom
It cost more than my cries
It cost more than your window
It cost more of my time

I live in limbo
While you agonize
I see a hero
You’d never recognize

This is an intro
To a better life
The cost is zero
If you drop the guise

© Delia Ross. 2019

Silver

It’s not terribly hard to see you’re always chasing after young silver
Spend your days shinning every dime by the muddy river
Try to hide reflections of a liar in its mirror
If the devil bit you in the head it wouldn’t make it that much clearer
But I’m going to cover you in truth until you shine like glitter
I doubt anything I write can make you more bitter
You’ll probably claim you’re a victim and call me a killer
But neither of us are walking out of here a winner
My heart lost its color and settled for winter
I told you to shoot but you failed to pull the trigger
And now my love for you will always just kind of linger
If you ever want a friend you’re invited for dinner
If you ever need a rare element that’s where I can deliver
I hope one day you will warm my heart from this shiver
Until then my soul will just tremble and quiver

(He always wants the young silver – she’ll never want what he can give her)

© Delia Ross. 2019

Goodbye

I will always love you from afar
The same way I love a distant star
And cast wishes under its light
Where I pray for you every night

I will always wonder where you are
What catastrophic event pushed you so far
Your heart a celestial sphere
But you never let anyone near

And on nights when the sky is clear
I cry into the atmosphere
I couldn’t tell you the hour dear
Every moment I wish you were here

You and I live under the same sky
The winds blow west and carry my cry
With raining tears and a heavy sigh
I lie and promise this is not goodbye

© Delia Ross. 2019

Ignition

I’m still calling can you listen

I’m still learning from this lesson

I’m still crawling despite our distance

I still see you despite my blurry vision

I’m still moving like I have a mission

I still love him despite his own suspicion

I keep leading when I should be in submission

My feet keep moving in any ole condition

My heart keeps ticking despite this damn addiction

My fire keeps burning with or without his ignition

© Delia Ross. 2019

Paradise

I need your starlight
The dreams the same every night
I fall asleep in your skies
I wake up to your kind eyes

And with a kiss the Sun will rise
And by your breath the wind chimes
And with your touch my eyes will dry
You are my favorite sky

Your lips are the best prize
Your eyes hypnotize
You are my favorite high
Your mind is a sunrise
Your love is a paradise

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oak

His absence begs me to go
His disinterest tells me so
His eyes I long to know
Feels like I already though
His existence set me aglow
His silence so loud I woke
His sorrow so heavy he broke
His darkness so thick I choke
Our souls twisted together like oak
I am doing my best to climb up
His words like incantations evoke
For who these pages I devote
Into these rhymes which are wrote
My love for him is the most

© Delia Ross. 2019

Armor

I know not what drives him
How deep his senses swim
Which fear can make him cower
What eats away his hour
From which tear his pain will flower
Who tells him that he matters
How tall I’ll need a ladder
What brings him to his laughter
Who helps him when he’s sadder
Why his eyes pierce deeper than a dagger
How his words can make me stagger
Or why he wears such heavy armor

© Delia Ross. 2019

Give And Receive

Give me sin, give me repentance
Whatever your secrets, put them in a pendant
If I falter, hand me my sentence
Will slow crawl to you and ask for forgiveness
Forget the past and live in the present
Live each moment like the world is ending
Let each breath be one that is healing
Kiss me and give me wings for ascending
Promise me you’ll give me arms for defending
I’ll give you as much love you need for your mending

© Delia Ross. 2019

Aces

Feeling less alive on a daily basis
My soul desperately searching for an oasis
Going through life cycles with the moon phases
Constantly seeing strangers in all the worst places
Always disappearing without any traces
Having difficulty remembering some of my lovers faces
Moving around the world living on different bases
Placing all my bets without any aces

© Delia Ross. 2019

Fire

The consequences were dire
Invitations would expire
There was no will to inquire
Or maybe I just don’t inspire
Take my soul out of the mire
Place it back into the fire
Had I known what would transpire
I would have climbed a bit much higher
I would have found a different buyer
I would have worn different attire
There are goods that I aquire
I need a shelter for my desire

© Delia Ross. 2019

Anxiety

Take one leap forward
He falls 80 meters back

Moving with such force
My heart felt the deep impact

I came to offer light
Where I knew that it was black

He messaged to move forward
As a matter of fact

Now I’m getting lost
He is not on the map

My heart can’t proceed
If it’s stuck in a trap

Fears are circling
My mind it cannot snap

I fear if it does
I’ll have a fucking heart attack

© Delia Ross. 2019

Dark Alleyway


He appeared, blue eyes to match his mood
Words delayed but mostly understood
Darkness his dagger and his hood
Carrying a cross longer than one should

And then I followed him, into his alleyway
Despite my better judgment, I followed anyway
Plunged into a world of darkness, it’s been my darkest day
A pool of doubt seems to be the only way 
It’s warmer where he does appear, I feel him like a sunray

© Delia Ross. 2019

Bindings

Is this another conversation we’re never having
Say you’re making changes but you’re always found rewinding
The silence that we share is just another kind of binding
We have the will to search but not the will for ever finding
Everywhere we look there’s just another lie we’re winding
But I don’t need a book to know his words are so spellbinding

© Delia Ross. 2019