i love him more than i can explain
you can’t see mountains moving
or hear me calling his name
but somewhere between eternity
and the hours i have gone insane
we both remember that day
Copyright © 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved. (p∞)
don’t be sayin’ nuthin bad about geo
i be asking god if that was god
“are you god?”
“no”
“sounds like something god would say…”
what was that intense beam of energy that made the room halt?
like did you see the monster or the angel?
cuz i feel like it was the latter
you just didn’t expect what you studied to look like me?
my file chart?
we don’t match huh
her and i
i struggle with identity and who i am, too
this is why you studied to be a doctor
but i was over here dying and praying to god
“well could i please at least SEE my soul mate? give me 60 seconds?”
i mean yeah
literally 60 on my end huh
wish i had took a screenshot of your frozen image
you don’t even exist in the matrix
i’m not even suppose to be crawling down this hole
i lost my worth you know
im wholly suicidal
i wonder if that made me worse
seeing what i lost
i was once on that side
“we create our own reality”
or was it like some form of Stockholm syndrome?
but this happened before you saved me and now it’s worse
you come on so strongly, randomly in thought, like you put it in there
you imprinted on me
like when i stare at the fucking sun and get spots in my eye
and now im wondering if my pupils became such being born in the world
it was so fucking blinding
and i was fucking crying
i had a period of awareness in womb
was depressed
didn’t want to be born
didn’t want to stay in there
“how much longer is this gonna take”
didn’t want to face what i was gonna face being born
in theta mode
to be conditioned
by demons
and im mad about it
but if i go to church and starting upturning trays and demanding them to get the money out of my house, it’s dirty, the cop will be so overwhelmed to arrest me
he wants to burn me at the stake
or something worse
(this actually just happened to me so the cop threat is very real)
(the lawyer called to speak to his supervisor)
i need you as my doctor or husband
my depression would likely have a 25% drop
until the full moon and period comes
which i must be experiencing some sort of mild psychosis because im not baby making
the suicidal waves are intense
so i went shopping today
even tho im moving in 28 days and have a 4×8 space to haul my life
but its mothers day and my daughter called
and i know it is “it’s”
too many strokes now to do whst i need to
works better with no network
getting a typewriter soon
xoxo
people like hearing me complain
or get almost arrested maybe
lawyer said not to pay june rent
send up the seven day notice to do shit
leave
if they try and get me for breaking my lease, cease and desist
can help get my deposit back too
they still aint fixed my dryer
prob waiting til i drop that notice
i cant wait to send anom flowers that say “checkmate” once theyve lost
“vets dont have any power”
i mean yeah but no
dont threaten a vet with eviction
cuz now i get free legal even tho i over qualify
thank u
(it aint going how u wanna)
(even tho i feel like im suffocating)
(prob the mold)
you fucking sinister assholes
rare to find an honest lawyer
“stay away from the front office, they are trying to hurt you”
DUH (but it is needed to hear)
(sometimes validation is needed)
im outta control
i bought a hello kitty steering wheel cover and car pillow
Sanrio gonna be all over the new apartment
i dont know how long the phase will last
but i got a hk painting (i gotta paint) with an umbrella (will prob put it near a coatrack i aint got)
i also got a hk sunbrella
a fucking hk clock with strawberries for the kitchen
fancy shit mixed with child shit cuz i am mother and child in one
“angel”
age 15 still really
he never made me a woman did he
claudia was madddd for being turned as a child
started killing all the women
collected them as dolls
Louie got mad
wow
it reads a lot diff on paper than watching
Rice was sick and twisted
did she die?
*sigh*
i have enough things now to enjoy the basics of life
shopping for a house soon
LAND
people act like i should be doing something more than i am
like this is life now
it pisses the boomers off
still recovering from a heart lung and brain injury
thankful some understand me
PoeEternal 