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Warm Linen

I wonder if he writes me words like I do for him
Sometimes I reach out to only find a phantom limb
I’m learning that his desire for me is looking rather slim
There are many girls he likes but I’m not one of them
The spark for life that I once had is dying from within
Still I read his words and take a skinny dip to swim
I run around his sacred words like I am a pilgrim
My soul reacts and knows that he is one in a trillion
He probably doesn’t want it but he left me so smitten
I can feel my orbit gaining speed and spiraling
I still have the hope that he may be listening
And even though he rejected me I hope he is living
He’s so many miles from me it feels like a million
I want to wrap around him like he is warm linen

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Heaven or Hell

I tell gentle lies
To myself
To ward away grey skies

My bones often disagree
My cries will drop me to my knee
My brain repeats “he loves me”
And even when I’m resting
My subconscious too believes

And so by every waking the lie repeats

He loves me
He loves me
He loves me

He the sun and I the moon
That’s how much our distance grew
That’s how little we both knew
That’s the reach my love for you
That’s the road to greet you too

I lie and say I’m halfway there
I lie and say that you do care
I tuck it deep within a prayer
And color over this nightmare
I say good morning love instead of farewell
And it is here that you will always dwell
You can find my love in heaven or hell

© Delia Ross. 2019

Update: I did a soft reading of Heaven or Hell on my IGTV, which you can watch here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/By21uAOhvvF/?igshid=1jj1vlogbz00y

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24-hour Shift

How do you forget something once you know it exists
How do you put the blade to your own wrist
How do you cross a soul off of your list
How do you explain chaos needs a misfit
How do you find light when the sun’s never lit
How can a stranger leave such an imprint
What is it about me you don’t want to risk
How much more pain are you going to inflict
I’m chained to a cross and your actions afflict
My heart is still buried inside your dark crypt
I know I was wrong and deserve to be whipped
But I’ve never experienced anything like this
If there are rules please hand me a script
Do you forgive me for being such quick lipped
I’d crawl unto you and beg to be kissed
My love is on a 24-hour eternal shift

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Yearning

It’s half-past heartbreak 
The pain grips like a snake
There’s nothing to stop the ache

Once upon a better time
Wasting youth was such a crime
Pride it only cost a dime

It’s long past sorrow
There’s no joy here to borrow
I still pray he calls tomorrow

Third times a charm or so we learn
In slavery until we are adjourned
And so the same ole pages turn
These forty years I only yearn

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Not Looking Back

You can come but I am going down
I’d rather not bring you to this part of town

You can follow but I must warn you so
Your condition is hollow and I have to go

You can spy and I wish you all the luck
However, I no longer give a fuck

You can cry and wish us all goodbye
But I know it’s just another crafted lie

You can idle and point your finger in blame
But I’m still out of worry all the same

You can get angry and cast a witch’s spell
But it doesn’t work for someone already living in hell

You can cry to God or even Lu
But even they don’t care about you

You can borrow or beg or change your fold
But you lost the most when you lost this gold

You can pretend and say that I never did matter
But here’s another problem you never did factor

I’m going going going gone
And I’m not even bothering to write a Dear John

© Delia Ross. 2019

It’s now on my IGTV

NOT LOOKING BACK Spoken word (number 4) under 1 minute long, listen on my Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/p/Byu5DFthSgr/?igshid=1eld7rjsauut

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Fire

The consequences were dire
Invitations would expire
There was no will to inquire
Or maybe I just don’t inspire
Take my soul out of the mire
Place it back into the fire
Had I known what would transpire
I would have climbed a bit much higher
I would have found a different buyer
I would have worn different attire
There are goods that I aquire
I need a shelter for my desire

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Wildflowers

My dreams are running wild
Into his field where I’m beguiled
My nightmares are exiled
Where every moment is worthwhile


I dance with him past midnight hours
Where passion burns inside his towers
Pain and mid-summer showers
Always remind me of his wildflowers


They grow best when the wounds are gone
When the breeze hums to a different song
Where your mood goes from dark to dawn
Such clouds we always dance upon


Please put it on my bed with some Forget-me-nots
Where his kiss removes all of the bad thoughts
His words always hit me in the right spots
He tends to my heart and is never cross


© Delia Ross. 2019

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Event Horizon

Separate myself
Break myself
Turn into something else
By myself with nothing left
Let the ache manifest
From my head to my chest

How dare it linger and fester
Building gravity in the dark
Gathering more matter
Heavy and hot

No beacon call for distress
No maps to guide on this quest
Alone in silent protest
Not alive nor human nor best
A star too soon compressed
A black hole just like the rest

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Anxiety

Take one leap forward
He falls 80 meters back

Moving with such force
My heart felt the deep impact

I came to offer light
Where I knew that it was black

He messaged to move forward
As a matter of fact

Now I’m getting lost
He is not on the map

My heart can’t proceed
If it’s stuck in a trap

Fears are circling
My mind it cannot snap

I fear if it does
I’ll have a fucking heart attack

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Dark Alleyway


He appeared, blue eyes to match his mood
Words delayed but mostly understood
Darkness his dagger and his hood
Carrying a cross longer than one should

And then I followed him, into his alleyway
Despite my better judgment, I followed anyway
Plunged into a world of darkness, it’s been my darkest day
A pool of doubt seems to be the only way 
It’s warmer where he does appear, I feel him like a sunray

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Bindings

Is this another conversation we’re never having
Say you’re making changes but you’re always found rewinding
The silence that we share is just another kind of binding
We have the will to search but not the will for ever finding
Everywhere we look there’s just another lie we’re winding
But I don’t need a book to know his words are so spellbinding

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Iron Heart

Stumbled into his garden
A fragile girl mostly harden
Thin and frail and starving
One solid heart full of iron
So heavy it weighed like a burden
Crushing life before it started

Overturned broken signs
Switching lanes, crossing lines
Extinguishing light from which it shines
Breaking walls and eating lies

Words thrown over the highway
Red flags which claim foul play
Went inside despite what they say
Hit my soul now heavy they do weigh

Words which branded my soul
Flame kept burning and now I glow
Replaced the grey with a rainbow
Whispered loudly I am not your foe
Stepped on traps looking at his photo

Words to go with a face
Never want to leave this place
Broken glass to accompany the lace
Even if I could I’m too wounded to escape
I still love him no matter the mace
Could care less what is locked in his case

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Amends

My love, if you are ill let me know
If I have wounded thee tell me so
Would replace the bad so the good may flow
Being thy enemy fills me with too much woe

My friend, if you are full of sin then repent your soul
Can I help fix the thing that leaves you less than whole
Why is it now you only see me as a troll
If I’m causing you agony then I can go

Dear stranger, I come with amends
I travel blindly and without any friends
The opposite direction of your anger is where my love extends
You should change direction as if your life depends

Hey enemy, I lay down my guard
Please shuffle the deck, give me a brand new card
If you find a joker in me then please do discard
Be careful around my edges or you may get scarred

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Kinesis

I wish I could pull him in
Give him a kiss
Or free him of sin
I wish it wasn’t like this
I’m not even sure what I miss
I keep running back to his abyss
His energy is kinesis

He doesn’t need us here
We circle like a sphere 
We gather atmosphere
Into his space we steer
His distance isn’t near
He’s more than a light-year
His silence we all fear
My soul still sent out a flare

His absence I can’t dismiss
At war with his own violence
Alone in his own silence
So lost and without guidance
Impenetrable like a diamond
But love doesn’t require science
And so we all persist –
Even though he doesn’t exist

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Pride (Part 1)

Amongst the devil’s possessions, she found –

The sound of laughter drifted up from the street below, making her feel very alone in this new town

It’s mid-morning.
There’s been a heatwave for days.
You’re in a desert.
There’s a cold feel to the place.

An abandoned sign with splintered corners and fading letters which read, “Here I Died”.

And another just adjacent with “Still I Tried”.

What is more peculiar, there are no bones in which the grave resides.

In the darkest moss, footprints carry deep regret.

When measured with mine they never seem offset.

When faced with the truth I seem to always forget.

Thoughts of you stored in the tightest of webs.

My favorite demon to help me retrace my steps.

Surprisingly though I never needed much help.

That’s just another lie I’m always telling myself.

I’m guessing pride is this level of hell.

To be continued…

© Delia Ross. 2019

* I’ve been working on this one for a while. I’ve been exploring the darker side of religion and Human Nature. My focus has been on hell and Lu and human nature (emotion). I stepped out of my comfort zone with this one, not just on subject matter but on form as well. I am exploring the seven deadly sins and the first one is on pride. * critique and collaboration is welcomed

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Reminder

You need pressure to keep moving
You need motion for improving
You need love for all the soothing
You need miracles for disproving
You need failure for approving
You risk heartbreak for life booming
You need feet to get grooving
YOU NEED PRESSURE TO KEEP MOVING
After sadness comes the bruising
You will fall down after losing
You need kings for your own ruling
You fight when we should be blooming
You need pressure to keep moving
You need to change what you are doing
This bus goes to a different schooling
It’s yours now for the choosing
Open your eyes now, see what you’re viewing

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Wonder Pt. 2

Kept wishing on a star a gift that it could bring
If the world would listen but it never learns a thing
Around the world so many times I’ve never met a king
Fought bravely for my country though they like to break my wing

Now my voice it always cracks I’ve lost the right to sing
I’m older now been broken down my heart is still fighting
I would never slight you I don’t have the sight to sting
I would never tie you I don’t have the silk to cling

The world I stopped supplying but for you I am a spring
The star was slowly dying but it left for you a ring
I was also hiding but I never stopped praying
I was maybe wondering if you found my broken wing

© Delia Ross. 2019

Wonder Pt. 1

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Aches of the Heart

Over and over
I told her
Oh the aches of the heart
Bet he knew
Right from the start
Over and over
He’d hold her
As the pain grew
His touch was colder

Heading home
Without direction
Broken hearts his
Prized possessions
Telling them it’s just obsession
At his feet a throne
(Of broken souls and bones)

Oh the aches of the heart
Bet he knew
From the start

Memories like rainfall,
Like crushing waves of stone
Mornings of mourning
Had she only known
Weakened and furied
And left all alone
Still he knew I was home

© Delia Ross. 2019

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X’s and O’s

I don’t know where you come from, or where you are living
I don’t know your nicknames or if you like drinking gin
I don’t know if you’re married or if you’ve ever been
I don’t know if you’re broken or out there still looking
I know we’ve rarely spoken, I’m not one you’re interested in
I just wanted you to know you really move me with your pen

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Nothing

I’m not a muse, I’m not a rat, I will never be that

I’m not amused, nor confused yet I’m easily misused
Discarded, rejected, spit out like spoiled food

I have bad looks with declining health and there is never any wealth

I don’t get by, I rarely lie, I don’t have feelings yet I sigh
I don’t get twisted, or blacklisted, I often fail though I still try

I’ve never loved, I’ve never bailed, still I feel like I’m always jailed

Misunderstood, and broken down, I’m the saddest in the town
I never smile and wear this frown like it is my only crown

I spit out words that go unheard, my speech is hardened and mostly blurred
If I seek help I’ll be removed from all that brings me joy which is absurd

I’ve never married or divorced and I sometimes feel that is worse
If I send valentines they get treated like a curse

I wish he liked me but he don’t
Or I’m so broken that he won’t

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Karma

There it was, labeled to me – I, the addressee
Trying on lovers because revenge tasted sweetly
Inserting the blade ever so neatly –
Ensuring the heart was severed completely

Burning through dreams like an oil field in the night
Running out of fuel and the zest for a life
Looking back but never having any foresight
Dancing in alleyways with nothing but a knife

I can lie and pretend I will live and die by you
One day, I’ll come to know those lies were never true
And now decades of mistakes when I should have just withdrew
That’s the trouble with searching for treasure when you haven’t any clue

© Delia Ross. 2019


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I don’t know what it is so it doesn’t have a name; a song without a name


Searching for life in places I shouldn’t
I’ve given loyalty when I knew that he wouldn’t
I’ve given up when I knew that you couldn’t
I’ve tried to love again even though I am still wounded
I’ve been left behind, where I should have been included
I’ve learned how to grow although I am uprooted
I’ve been promised truth when lies were spoken
I’ve been given vows that were already broken
I once may have slept but now I’m truly woken
I fall out of steps because my heart is swollen
You see me as free but my door is never open
I know time is out but here I am still hopin’

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Thorns

Once he had laughter but he cut it into pieces
Thinking more always meant better

Kept it in the rain, never saw a bit of day
But expects for it to shine any weather

Say you wanna love it, then you tweak it and cut it
Chain it down when it’s only a feather

Label it “together”, when it’s just another tether
But you’re married to that irony

Shine it up like diamonds, flash your pearls to the dying
But I know you’re living in agony

I know I could be smiling, I should laugh instead of sighing
But this world gives me anxiety

Doctors all prescribing, pills which are never satisfying
Still they got their tiny hooks over me

My family will look, my friends will even root
Just to see this time how I will perform

They tried to teach me form, but I am against the norm
I’ve been in walls that shrink ’til you conform

You can build a boat to travel through my storm
But if you’re going to love my flower, you gotta love my thorn

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Roads

You can take the long road or the wrong road
A shorter path makes for a tougher load
The fastest route is the one most slowed
There are obstacles whichever you go

There doesn’t need to be any smoke screens
We won’t need protection from Marines
Pick up the ball and drop your routines
This nightmare could turn into our dreams

You can meet me down this way
Come on, I really want to play
These are the moments that make up each day
These are the terrors from which we stray

I know I’m not the direction you were leaning
Guest and greetings, always lose meaning
Destiny arrived and is here intervening
The past is yours alone for weaning

Underneath these city lights
There are no wrong or rights
Lovers go to new heights
Kisses come as invites

© Delia Ross. 2019




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Hate

You only speak to me when in a drunken fever
It doesn’t say very much the words that you deliver
Hate for all the words you never said to me
Hate for making me feel this invisibility
Hate for all the moments that you cherish her instead
Hate for all the aches and being left with the dead
Hate for ever knocking and getting a good look at you
Hate because I love you no matter who you choose

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Daydreams

I want to meet near the sea
Where my enemies become allies
Where my laughter drowns out your cries
Where instead of for her you are looking for me

I want to drift where places forget my plea’s
Where destiny it sails within your eyes
Linger in depths of truth, no lies
Build seabeds of love and devotion under skies
Riding waves of every pleasure and phrase you devise

I’d rather be there than here where I cry
I’d rather be there than here where my dreams come to die

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Equations

I’m probably the worst at them in all of the nations
I avoid them like they are an army prepped for invasion
I’m standing on options to build balanced foundations
A singular note though with many abrasions
You’ll never find them tuned into any of my stations
My numbers don’t amount no matter the occasion
I’m just bidding my time to wish you all congratulations
I love him whole though and to this there’s no variation
Zero room for error despite his many persuasions
Newtonian law states he should feel my vibrations
He has the answers to all of my equations

© Delia Ross. 2019


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Mildew


Followed broken trails that lead me straight into you

Misread all the signs because I haven’t got a clue

Darkness replaced faces where there should have been a hue

Bars replaced windows where there could have been a view

Tears replaced arms on this lonely avenue

Just thought that you may welcome, an old soul passing through

Love sweetly soured filled by all your black mildew

I’ll add you to the map of monsters ran into

And avoid you like a plague no matter what you do

Left my boots at your door and filled them with voodoo

I guess I am a monster but now I hate you too

© Delia Ross. 2019

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The Hours

Sleeping on a bed made of only her dead flowers
Lost are the words, even less are the hours
Put it in your hand, now it’s yours with the powers
Every moment passed, falling deeper in the towers

Lost are the moments you still search but never find
Even with the perfect words, it will never be well-timed
Unless you are a girl, she will just leave you behind
You will never be the one that is ever on her mind

© Delia Ross. 2019