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Crucifixion

If given chance, I’d be the one to put the spear into her side
Make her feel the weight of everyone she crucified
Put poison from the sponge onto her tongue because she lied
Never trust someone who has a devil as her guide

© Delia Ross. 2019


I’d order the crucifixion myself
I’d stand overwatch
I’d insert the spear myself
There are so many reasons to not like her
But I only need one…

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Dead

If I appear to not have a heart
I guess it’s probably true
And if you stick around long enough
I’ll likely prove it to you

If you reach for my hand and it’s cold
There’s nothing you can do
I don’t want a connection with anyone
So find another to pursue

© Delia Ross. 2019

Equal opportunity hater / can see through you
Digi art of me by me
I identify as dead (selfie)
“Dead as dead can be / so the doctor tells me / but I just can’t believe him / ever the optimistic one”
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Perfect Form

If I were a moon, he’d be an asteroid
If I were open space, he would be the void
If truth were a promise, he would be the lie
If beginnings had beginnings, he would be goodbye

If I were an ocean, he’d be the shark
If reasons had meaning, he’d tear it apart
If weather were gentle, he’d be the eye of a storm
If cold were a shoulder, his would have perfect form

© Delia Ross. 2019

Inspired by something I heard in John Wick 2… had to revisit the entire chapters after watching 3. Neo warming up for The Matrix 4. John Wick 3 is by far the best of the chapters, it just slayed. Martial arts makes me kinda sloppy wet (or maybe that’s just Keanu Reeves, KIDDING chill sheesh) 🙃🙃🙃😛

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Wrath

“I do terribly bad things”, she said with a saddened sorrow
“Spontaneous combustion”, Lu replied
She was gazing in her mirror, Lu was just behind
Leaning on her shoulder, like he was her beau

He goes places with her no other will go
He knows too many things he shouldn’t know
A mask to Lu is an open window
The thicker they get, the more that you owe

“My tongue is full of sin” she said
As she took a blade, her eyes were blood red
The cold steel on her neck, her gaze still ahead
With careful, quick precision, Lu swiped the blade from her hand, he was never much of a figurehead

“Terribly bad things”, as she crashed to the floor
A creature of the underworld, and she could take no more
Too many souls abandoned, what is she fighting for
If only love could be her savior

“Hey kid, they only fear your purity because they sin,
They act tough where their skin is thin,
They create chaos in an endless cycle they spin,
They search for winnings, where the devil will always win”

With a hand that swung with the thunder of Thor
With a face of refusal and ready for war
With her hand on the trigger and ready to score
Standing an inch from the devil she let out a roar

© Delia Ross. 2019

Do you ever feel like the devil is on your shoulder? That was sort of the goal for the bathroom mirror scene. Now’s he’s been all through the house. Time to see a priest, deep, dark thoughts abide. Maybe an exorcist too. Definitely could use spiritual cleansing from a psychic.

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A Visit From Lu Part 7

So there it was, Lu and I
Outstretched his hand an ally
There sat a truce within his eye
Another devil here to apologize

Once you’ve heard one lie you’ve heard them all
You can change the ending but you cannot stop the fall
You can change your perceptions but you’re still behind a wall
The only lies worth spinning are the ones you can’t recall

Lu has been there for me since the day that I was born
When my parents would beat me and my wings could not take form
As if it was his duty to sit with me and mourn
So deep down in the darkness that his feet would come to warn

There are some places angels aren’t meant to be
And it was during my lowest times Lu would come remind me
And it is always a fine line between heaven and hell I am walking
And there’s not a detail overlooked when the devil is talking

But the dark has come again and now Lu has arrived
But these really are his tunnels where we all reside
And even in this darkness my purity has thrived
I wonder if his prayers are the reason I survived

The words hello and goodbye never slip from my tongue
The sorrow feels deeper and long it was hung
The worry will linger where heart took a stung
And with very few words the devil just took a swung…

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my goodness y’all, Lu has been protecting her all of her life until now!?! What did he say to her? Why has he hurt her!?!

I’ve never tried writing like this before, my epic tragedy was written in one night after it came to me in a dream. I had an idea for a story (this one) and wanted to see if I could write a longer piece but I wanted it to be without rules and regulations and I wanted it to feel experimental. I haven’t written any rough drafts or used any of the prewriting techniques we were taught in school. I knew the basis for the story and I wanted it to feel open-world. I dig open world video games (I’m a huge gamer and I’ve been playing games since I was a little girl and it’s one reason I want to play Survivor CBS cuz game play matters and that’s the best game on fucking Earth and I’m getting ready to audition for a fourth time and the first rule of Survivor is never give up). Anyhoo. This has been a huge challenge for me and I can’t believe I’m already into part 7. Sometimes I just want to quit writing cuz I’m nowhere good as the people who admire me the most, even my best isn’t comparable. But I try so hard… in pretty much every aspect of my life. To fail over and over again. But that’s life, failing and getting back up again to fail again. *sigh*

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Middle

I’ll take the middle of the night, when I’m feeling alright.
I’ll take the middle of the rush, I can never get enough.
I’ll take the middle of your love, where it fits like a glove.
I’ll take the middle of the page, and the center of your stage.
I’ll take the middle of your lie, the part you said you would try.
I’ll take the middle of the day, it feels the same anyway!
I’ll take the middle of knowing, that is where truth starts glowing.
I’ll take the middle of goodbye, that’s where our love died.
I’ll take the middle of nowhere, that’s the place I don’t care.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Mirage 2.0

I thought that he was far away but he doesn’t exist
I thought they were a bouquet of poems, not a blade to cut my wrist
For a moment, I felt loved, now I feel his fist
And whatever I’ve done, well he’s over it

One, two, three, four, there’s so many grabbing at his line
It was written for her but now nevermind
And if he can’t have her, we get zero rhyme
If he only knew they left us completely blind

He kept us marching so long in the desert
And thirsty we were for any squirt
We were just disciples for him to hurt
And the connections that were made he doesn’t give a fuck

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Caught Between the Devil

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea
Caught between dilemma and what you mean to me
Caught between a wrong and caught without my sight
Caught me with my mind when it wasn’t screwed on tight

Caught between the truth and having privacy
But none of these reasons grant you the right to see
Caught between an answer and caught beneath the light
Caught between the bygones and a hand that seems to bite

Caught between an angel and where a devil blew his horn
Caught between the towers falling in an endless mourn
Caught between a moral and caught between a fight
Caught between the will to not end my life tonight

© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t know if I did that Devil phrase any justice but then I completely changed the rhyme scheme in the end but also many of the end words and then I couldn’t decide on whether to keep going or not… because feelings. And I know I could have carried on the rhyme scheme in the end but, rebel…

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Hunter

Hunting for a future
Hunting for a life
Hunting for a meaning
To not end it tonight

Hunting for a mirror
That doesn’t reflect strife
Searching for an answer
When the question’s never right

Searching for the devil
Under the pale moonlight
Searching for forever
In the middle of a fight

Searching for the handle
Of the blade that’s in my back
Searching for the color
When all I see is black

Searching in my heart
For the love it always lacks
Searching for some shelter
From the endless reign of attacks

Searching for my enemy
In every hand I hold
Searching for some peace
In a land it isn’t sold

Searching for some warmth
In a heart forever cold
Searching for the treasure
But never finding gold

Searching for the best
By bringing out the worst
Searching for the bubbles
To come along and burst

Hunting near the tower
Where she brings out your thirst
Searching in the pages
Of how to stop her curse

Searching in a shadow
Where a truth was still a first
Searching any bottle
Or any woman who can nurse

Searching for the cure
But nothing ever works
Kissing many frogs
But only finding jerks

Searching for an exit
Where it doesn’t ever hurt
Searching for the day
You put in more effort

Searching and hunting
But only gathering dirt
He’s an ocean on an island
And time is the desert

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my goodness, kinda long, I hope it wasn’t too boring. I’m sorry my intelligence is that of a child and I can’t lure you in with exotic words and fancy punctuation. I know I’m not enough, I never have been voluptuous in any area. *sigh

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Lost

So blinded by looking back at what you lost
Will let ego drown you no matter the cost
The love I gave you is covered with frost
Your future now fleeting without second thought

What was written was clear, so why now the fog
The lines and rhyme between us – written dialogue
There’s a number of them I could catalogue
But now the challenge is loving any at all

I know I’m not the best, I wasn’t even worth a chance
When another came along, you left without a glance
And now you stand pretending we weren’t in a written dance
And I guess denial and lying is now your final stance

© Delia Ross. 2019

Gonna stop writing cuz it’s not even worth copyrighting or subjecting you to my shitty poetry anymore. Save yer fucking likes for someone better. Oh, you already do.

THANKS FOR PULLING THE WOOL OVER MY EYES THEN FORCING ME TO BELIEVE NONE OF IT WAS REAL. THANK YOU

There’s nothing I like better, THAN WASTING MY FUCKING TIME.

I wish I could use people so easily as you do, and then disgard them. But worse, gaslight the entire thing.

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH. IT’S EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED

I probably should take my lessons and learn from Sylvia Plath.

Shame my house doesn’t run on gas. SARCASM

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Apophis

The service you subscribe to has been temporarily disabled
The lies I was eating too, were all mislabeled
Feelings that could not be swallowed, pushed under the table
The love she was selling you, have clogged your cables
Caring now a fortune and something I’m just not able

Annoyance like a vine and it creeps and entwines
If happiness were a choice they would all still decline
It seems so obvious but they require written signs
Apophis now a decade out from the end-of-times

Life’s so very short but they still won’t understand
And if they wake up now they might feel something grand
And it will be too late when she comes to kiss this land
And if that doesn’t work, well, death has other plans

© Delia Ross. 2019

Life is short, love now… MORE LOVE. The world needs more love. I don’t have time for anything else.

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Narrow Views


Narrow views, he once said
Then I killed where it bled

Narrow views, I declined
He only speaks when he’s blind

Narrow views, they bring me down
Now I roam this empty ghost town

Narrow views, is your hue
It matches every silhouette of you

Narrow views, in her mind
But still she closed his blind

Narrow views, the two will find
As they circle where confined

Narrow views, and in his knife
But the Army trained me to not feel life

Narrow views, all around
Watch us all become the clown

Narrow views, it might be true
But when it comes to him I already knew

Narrows views, to hide the shame
Take a picture, put it in a frame

Narrow views, is that your view?
I don’t remember ever asking you

Narrow views, the bell did ring
But for him, honesty was never waiting

Narrow views, his tongue did lie
Watched him clean the blade, without goodbye

Narrow views, the angel sang
But underneath the sound, he felt her fang

Narrow views, they are to blame
Even your mirror, reflects the same

Narrow views, are buried here
And with a tiny view, you watch me disappear

Narrows views, keep circling
But I’m off the freeway and already exiting

Narrow views, they make me pissed
Then I remembered, I was already over it

Narrows views, he gifted me
But I already had the foresight to see

Narrow views, he doesn’t understand
This hell he keeps, I own the land!

Narrow views, I’ll make it clear
Because I don’t need a foggy atmosphere

Narrow views, stay in your queue
Take responsibility for what you do

Narrow views, whip across my back
As I kneel, from all I lack

Narrow views, I’ll carry your cross
The weight of you, I felt the loss

Narrows views and a broken wing
It was only love I was offering

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Aftermath

Do you ever regret building my wall?
Do you ever feel anything at all?

Are you even aware of what you lost?
Can you feel the weight of its cost?

Are you proud of the pain you caused?
The red flags raised and lines you crossed?

The bridges burned, the lies you craft
Did you all, have a good laugh?

I gave you love, you fed me wrath
I still dwell in the aftermath

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Clot

There it was I thought
But then again maybe not
It is tangled in a knot
A wound without a clot

And yet bigger that it got
It smelled of death and rot
He said he knew but he forgot
And neither cared to clean the spot

And while the witch did stir the pot
Along she came a wretched trot
And with her pen she took a shot
And I seek naught the thing she brought

© Delia Ross. 2019

HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE MY LOVE WENT *LAUGHS INSANELY*

There’s a hurricane headed to Florida and there’s a good chance I’ll lose Communications for a bit.
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Drowning

Do you know what it’s like to cut the cord on your dream?

Though it isn’t just a dream from sleep

But one from awakening

It is a lifeline to your fate

The weight of consequence
Feels like an ocean
As you’re sinking

There are moments you want to swim back up
Fleeting moments of reason
Caught in a net of fishing line

More struggle

No you have to sink deep
Feel the pressure in your chest
The anxiety, the agony, the sorrow

You want to take a deep breath
It would be your very last

Panic. Now regret. Doubt.

Peace will come again.

As soon as my pocket knife cuts this cord
And I race to ascend
The light my friend
A reasonable decision
Air in my lungs again
Pain lessening

You were dead weight.
An anchor in my soul.

I swim towards finality.

I’ve made it to the lighthouse.

You are a memory I drowned away.
And I nearly drowned with it.

You would have been the last thought on my mind.

As you were always on my mind.

Unrequited love.

A pain I hope to never know again.

As I crawl off the shores of a dream that died.

I am never looking back.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Rainbow

I took a trail that he never did pave
I said goodbye to hands that never did wave
I killed the parts in me that required aid
I buried the love he incorrectly weighed

I’m still uncertain what is my worth
According to him it’s not very much
I felt the pain of a missing touch
My soul wanton and fully crushed

I watch him give his time to another
Her love so possessive it seems to smother
Meanwhile our distance only gets further
And our rainbow is finally losing color

Black and white rainbows reside here
I drown big pharma so I can’t feel
I killed the parts that time won’t heal
And with this lesson he taught me I dissappear

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Homeless

That sound is silence
The quiet act in violence
My thoughts in a riot
As if on autopilot

He is not the best
Not even a little
Though like the rest
I’ve set for remittal

Just maybe he is the worst
As I fell for him first
But he is an endless thirst
With no quench for the cursed

The damned be gone!
There is never any dawn
I must carry on
Where his ghost has spawn

I make love to nothing
A ghost I am hunting
One with his absence
A love without an address

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Fog

Here comes the dark
Creeping like a serpent
Like a thick, dark fog
It twists as a vine in my heart

She trades sex for love
He follows the current
Laps it like a dog
Ignoring my love above

She visits his dock
Sees behind the curtain
And I a slave or dove
Without a tongue to talk

Here, there, everywhere
She is lurking
Like a black smog
And I an angel without prayer

Eyes that burn with what it sees
Hands that never stop yearning
Tongues reciting the wrong epilogue
One soul left crying on her knees

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Death

I just sort of died.
Nothing more to be said.
No inspiration coming through.
No motivation going out.
Silence. Isolation. Despair.
Gasping for an inch of life.
A real connection.
Anything other than stars to make it better.
More than planets.
Give me wonder on Earth.
In man.
Make me believe I matter again.
Finding the best of the worst.
In any cup.
Empty. Depleted. Agony.
I don’t want T.V.
I don’t want sunshine.
I just want the one thing that I’ll never have.
Love.
Care.
Help.
Concern.
I exist as a slave to the system only.
One I fought and protected.
Some can’t handle the truth.
I keep discovering more.
Must retreat.
Must nurture the dark now.
Feast on it.
Feel things inside me die.
Like hope.
Dreams.
Reason.
More pain now.
To cover the broken spots.
More calluses forming.
More soul bleeding.
Leaking into nothingness.
Becoming one with it.
Acceptance.
I am nothing.
I am no more.
But something new dying.
Which results in me crying.
I don’t even try.
The warmth on my cheek is soothing.
Let it thaw you.
All things die.
Fertilizer for regrowth.
Play in the ashes.
Taste the salt.
Rub it on a wound.
More coming soon.
More death. More dying.
Starving.
For anything.
A touch.
Yes.
Importance.
Maybe.
Invisibility.
Reality.
I don’t want food.
I need a kiss.
A hug.
A worth.
I own the night.
This is my playground.
Lu offers refuge.
Massaging my despair.
Wanting to nest my soul.
Come on sweetheart.
I’ll pull out the red carpet.
Don’t worry about the blood.
It too will pass.
I’ll walk beside you in this land.
Would you like a hand?
Another bargain perhaps?
Apophis is coming.
One decade left.
What is it worth?
Everything hurts.
He’s right, again.
Cunning and always right.
A white hole now black.
More night.
Can’t see color in the dark.
One final place for my thoughts.
They congregate in my halls.
I want them to fuck off.
They will.
As they are killed.
I slaughter and murder them.
So I can’t feel.
I can see everything clearly now.
And that too hurts.
Make me blind.
I never want to see again.

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Sun and Moon

BOOM…
Her noise crashed into existence
An adulterer of daylight
In the eyes of the night a mistress
Still the Sun would chase her with all of his might
Penetrating years to lessen the distance
Every sky diamond flickers white candle light
But ask him of commitment and he’s a terrible witness
He will disappear before the Moon is in sight
His energy expelled before the ink dries from words written
Feeding from his lies as a tiny parasite
Chewing on his poison never seeking his permission
Ignoring red flags as your soul fills with blight
Asking for truth only delivers misinformation
Dancing for love on the back of the night
Keep chasing light despite its resistance

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Awareness

Our words like feathers carry no weight
To his ears an uninvited guest who overstayed
Still we’re spoonfed lies to minimize the ache
Just an innocent bystander who took the bait

He will circle you inside a barricade
He will taste the wound to see if you’re afraid
He will take the route you feel most betrayed
His words were never there to offer aid

If you need more pain he will accommodate
If you want his love he won’t participate
There are many already at his gate
His hands will lead you straight to his grave

I would gladly place my life at his blade
And gently kiss his hands as they preyed
And from my mouth not one complaint
And though dying my eyes finally awake

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Netherworld

He’s coming down this road again
With offerings of despair
Wrapped in tears like acid rain
With prayers prayed in vain
Dragging love by a chain
His every action inhumane
His only prize is your pain
His only hope for you to disobey
So he can claim you another day
Purgatory is the way
He’ll keep you bound so you can’t stray
Fill you with doubt so you remain
Enclosed in darkness so you can’t escape
Never asleep but fully awake
Your soul weighed down from the ache
Your every step a mistake
It’ll wrap around you like a snake
Swallow you whole while you decay

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Lived and Learned

I’ve lived through many things
I’ve taken dips in cold springs
I’ve visited lands without any kings
I’ve kissed lips without feeling things

I survived a war which broke my wing
I waited for love they could never bring
I clung to sorrow even though it did sting
I only heard silence from a man who did sing

I have done this and I have done that
I’ve worn kevlar when they wore a hat
I’ve lived in a foxhole, I’ve lived in a flat
I have been skinny and I have been fat

I’ve learned to love in world of hate
My timing is off and I’m always late
I’ve felt a man hold me down with his weight
I spit in the eye of the devils worst trait

There’s not many things that keep me satisfied
I have been honest where others have lied
I have never known love, or been someone’s bride
I’ve been so mad I had to laugh when I cried

I’ve never been worshipped or even adored
I’ve watched other games be unevenly scored
I’d like to release all the fears that I hoard
There are some things that I can never afford

All of these things do not matter that much
I’ve never wanted more than to feel his touch
I want to be his stone and never his crutch
You could call it fate, I’ll never name it such
One thing is certain though I love him a bunch
Anytime he speaks or writes my heart takes a punch

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Event Horizon

Separate myself
Break myself
Turn into something else
By myself with nothing left
Let the ache manifest
From my head to my chest

How dare it linger and fester
Building gravity in the dark
Gathering more matter
Heavy and hot

No beacon call for distress
No maps to guide on this quest
Alone in silent protest
Not alive nor human nor best
A star too soon compressed
A black hole just like the rest

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Anxiety

Take one leap forward
He falls 80 meters back

Moving with such force
My heart felt the deep impact

I came to offer light
Where I knew that it was black

He messaged to move forward
As a matter of fact

Now I’m getting lost
He is not on the map

My heart can’t proceed
If it’s stuck in a trap

Fears are circling
My mind it cannot snap

I fear if it does
I’ll have a fucking heart attack

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Ten After Sunset

Pain after sunset
denial and regret
It’s now ten after sunset
you haven’t admitted anything yet

Blame during sunrise
But never a tear in your eye
Aim for shock and surprise
It’s so much better when they cry

Shame morning and afternoon
You’ll catch him singing the same ole tune
Same lying up under the moon
He wasn’t born with a silver spoon

© Delia Ross. 2019

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The Best Things In Life Aren’t Free

The best things in life aren’t free
But please don’t bother me
I changed the lock and key
It’s best if you now flee

He bled her clean
Filled images in her head
The young ones he will preen
And bleed them til they’re dead

The best things in life aren’t free, he said
With not even a look of dread
She knows it’s nothing she misread
His love trap is a deathbed
Miles and decades of lies widespread
But not an ounce of bloodshed

The worst things in life are free
And you’ll never remember me
I sat there clawing blindly
In the forest at the wrong tree
Because the worst things in life
Always seem to follow me

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Chasing Ghosts

We’ve been lost on the same road
Making circles back again
We’ve been chasing all the ghost
Who will destroy us in the end
Along the way we have passed
Pretending each were a friend
How long can we last
Avoiding roads full of sin
What test do we pass
Where does the road to love begin
All the signs along the way
Point to never meeting him

© Delia Ross. 2019

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A Chapter Yet Filled

Who here desire that love be all one needs?
Surely, I say not for me.
Though love proves a clever disguise,
Love does not make one wise.
It preys upon the weak
The mere beauty only,
For purity it speaks.

And I a blossom yet to bloom,
This cold entraps and seals my wounds.
I dare not think you understand,
Whom stand united, hand in hand?
One by one, or two by two,
These elements can get to you…

© Delia Ross. 2010