cops are amazed at the level of proficiency to shoot someone a CEOin the back
and i know i am quiet and inactive on the blog front – i miss reading your blogs and connecting – but i am in a slumlord war again – and i ain’t sticking around
I WANNA DIE SOMEWHERE ELSE
but god bless that lady looking for her cat who potentially fell into a sinkhole – cuz those are too be feared – in such ways that i now notice cracks in the pavement – how to maneuver around – or deploy thinking tactics on how to overcome a potential collapse
– an angel in hell walking on eggshells
i also had to call the suicide hotline – and homeless crisis line for vets
and now i’m getting ready to apply for legal aid
and all the whiplash to jump ship into the great unknown again
only this time i am excited to escape yet another blackhole
i just would rather be homeless than live somewhere it takes them 5 days to fix your only toilet or working heat – and to be told duringso that “nothing is wrong”
then if/when you react they call you rude and threaten to call the cops
i told them several times to CALL THE COPS
at least then i would get a bed a meal security and heat
an hour of sunshine too
don’t threaten me with a good time
THEY DID NOT CALL THE COPS
despite me pleading and begging for them to do so
i didn’t get arrested again
i was also potentially exposed to ecoli eating organic carrots from walmart
i was sweating like Niagara falls for 3 days, followed by TMI, and kidneys hurting
so that prob was not from detoxing but detoxing may have saved my life again
took a few days off – hitting it hard again
starting a heavy metal detox soon
then back to everything they have on zuma nutrition
candida parasite liver lymph – THEM ALL
started doubling up my doses too
mold is cancer
parasites are cancer
diseases are mold and parasites
“that thing is real”
i was always a conspiracy theorist but that movie woke something up in me
(i wish the spacebar worked)
*me getting out the popcorn watching another CEO be taken out*
the guy rode off on a bike
he still has not been found
*eats popcorn*
popcorn is on the good foods list (zuma blog)
i mean the comment section on most any video regarding the ? opposite of a tragedy?
is it a crime to wish someone dead?
…cuz the things i pray for in broad daylight
and since i’m already being kept up at night
like SAME
“amazed at the level of proficiency” but i mean how hard is it to shoot someone in the back?
allright i know you mean the details leading up to the alleged crime – he waited for 5 minutes for him to arrive
he watched others go by…
*takes note* (for writing purposes in case this is tried to use against me in a court of law)
i’d go to jail forever simply because i would shit in the judges face
like right on top of the stand
i’ll grab the little hammer too
“order in the court” i will shout
as i prepare to handle bizz cuz ain’t nobody putting bb in a corner
starting to loathe GEN Y as much as the Boomers
as a gen xer – i don’t wanna unite
i want to be left alone
i want a small circle of friends
i want to be left alone
don’t engage eye contact with me and i won’t return visible hatred and cursery
i didn’t ask to be born
i don’t listen to my parents
YOU DON’T CONTROL ME
but please keep barking up the wrong tree
i’m starting to run again
small increments
but man
the way i just wanna go and never come back
done with Florida
might get a map and dart and toss it and pack up and head to the nearest countryside of said location
BINGO
take my $200 and pass go
but they shit where they sleep you know
they leave a trail of data and names behind
just because they group together and say “nothing is wrong” while calling you rude
lucky i didn’t leave bags of crap at the door
cuz like my level of petty is on point
so is my scale of revenge
please keep pissing on me and being condescending “i hope you get the help you need”
hmmm the way a warm butter knife cuts through butter in my fantasies….
got some Native American in me
got an itching and a craving to do some turkey carvings
tis the season
please keep watching me and collecting data for your bullshit agenda
ANGEL FALLEN
GODS A WATCHIN
how you doing me
🙂
the way you sleep so sound with your working heat and plumbing
the way i have nothing else to lose….
🙂
look at all this yummy stillwater left behind after each dishwasher cycle but “nothing is wrong”
MY LABS ARE FINE
I’M FINE
ALL IS GOOD
enjoy your rest 🙂
p.s. i’m not just a rude child, i also have zero empathy
likely dead inside
would rather sleep in a tent than get into a toxic relationship with slumlord staff
KARMA IS COMING GLAZED LIKE HOLIDAY CARAMEL
or popcorn
but i’m not allowed sugar currently
hard to mealprep when i can’t figure out my next step
to kill a mockingbird or take a nap
so many decisions
better than handwashing dishes but i would rather own / live without a dishwasher at this point
the more this society pisses me off, the less $$ i wanna spend
cause and effect my love
have fun! 🙂
popped in the back – won’t see me running
love it so much boo 🙂
keep up the nihilism
or taking out the trash and whatnot
*team bear*
RIP PEANUT AND FRED – and the boy squirrel out here who lost his head
oh i have empathy
just not for who u want
ask me to go again – i will sit and stay 🙂
I DO NOT COMPLY
please keep pissing on your enemy
(this is how vets are spit on but maybe people other than vets deal with this bullshit too)
but i’m waiting on the interesting details that the cops seem so interested in about bike boy
he didn’t fall out of a 5th story window tho did he –
he “fell ill”
(stories from Russia)
she drowned in the back of a cop car – with handcuffs behind her back
(stories from Tennessee)
he musta done something so God awful he never wanted to be found. so they reported him missing and pulled his body from the ocean – but remains unnamed
(stories from Virginia)
the most inspiring couple of 2024 🤩
and here’s me not giving a fuck about anything and everything all at once
“i’m not suppose to wear this at my age”
*subject to go private again without any warning – don’t come in*
More chitter chat cuz squirrel is my spirit animal
Grateful to have a floor to stretch out on
New bed when I move, that’s the deal
Meanwhile, more clothes were bought today.
Just a few…
And… the face serum I’m using from Victoria Health, is actually improving my skin tone, some of the weathered spots aren’t as dark – but I woke up to a nasty comment – in which I immediately blocked user – he stated, “nothing worth moaning about”
First off, I moan about everything
Secondly, the vitamins are saving my life
And my skin has improved
So will likely get something for my hair and body next, as I learned most shampoo and conditioner causes hair loss…
And that missing package cost a pretty penny
The mailman didn’t even put the correct term as it stated it was left with an individual, which meant some motherfucker stole my package
Turns out it was in the lockbox, and I wasn’t given the key
I shook hands with the mailman and all was forgiven
But I lit a fire under the post offices ass and it was a pain in the ass filing out that declaration of honor for the UK – but I was happy to email VH back and say package found!!!
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…
They have about 9 hours of air remaining
That robot submarine they are sending down, can’t bring them up, only help get them unstuck if they’re stuck
I think it’s safe to say they’re stuck regardless
But some answers will be nice
Have they imploded?
Are they still alive?
What an expensive way to die
Honestly, I’m hoping for the best
I learned another sub was saved with only 12 minutes remaining
But they weren’t on the sea floor
I don’t know if they gave us false hope just to $$$$$ use more resources and bill the government whom the tax payers will pay
This is coming out of our pockets, this rescue/recovery
RIP John Jones
The experts are trained to not become a casualty
They don’t do shit…
But sit on the clock $$$$
Time/energy is $$$
And I ain’t Einstein…
They say don’t eat late at night but it’s when I’m most hungry…
I’m HUNGRY
And I can’t stop thinking about that damn electric submarine – I mean submersible
He was invested in his electric toys
He was in debt
A drowning man will drown another
If a Baby Boomer jumped from a bridge would you follow
Wait, that’s not how it goes
If a boomer led you off a cliff, would you follow…
I’m told I’ll be getting a renewal invite to remain at the heart of darkness.
It’s been nearly one year since that couple was gutted in the street – by a black immigrant – simply because they were “white” – and now they’re dead – and he gets 3 meals a day, a free roof over his head, dental, and an HOUR of sunshine for his MENTAL HEALTH – on us (the tax slave payers dollars = time/energy)
The political thugs in gold chains now want your signature – soliciting anywhere they legally can: the library, the mall, the medicinal shops.
Overjoyed.
I don’t know where I’m going – but I don’t have to prove anything to “remain here” as I’ve been stuck in purgatory so long now – I don’t have to provide any evidence of my existence.
Just keep paying the rent….
Do as say
But I yelled at the boomer Publix employee, “no bitch, you lost a fucking customer FOREVERRrrr”
Apparently we became a cashless society and she felt the need to rub it in, three times, scolding me in front of everyone around, my cash in hand, unable to pay.
“It says it right there” (honestly, you only need to point out my failure ONCE)
I’ve boycotted Publix forever
There’s poison and sugar and “natural flavor” in everything now anyway
“How did she die”
“Starved to death…”
“White people work out one time and be skinny” (latest neighborhood report on me)
The upside: they think I’ve only worked out once. Skinny. Weak bitch.
Let that be my fucking gain
In fact, at Burger King yesterday, the Mexican manager came out with two of her BLM pimps, when I told her to “step outside”
He was very upset when he heard me say, “oh you had to bring your pimps with you huh”
Very upset he got
Truth in fact hurts
I drove off too calm
The adrenal glands were not working
Even pulling off
“I’m too calm”
“Had to bring your pimps huh” I continue to yell, as traffic at the window was at a stop
They gonna run off all their white costumers with their terrible service
I ordered the “impossible king” and apparently that’s too complicated for certain species to get right
Though I repeated my order THREE times
Fuck it
I like starving anyway
I got my library card tho
And holyshit, that’s where I’ll be at the end of the world
Check the libraries
Leave clues a 5 year old could solve (anything harder and I’ll read the data wrong and wind up stuck in a fucking hole – as is now – with a heart condition – thanks to “television” and government – whom I no longer listen to in any capacity)
At least the library is ad free
I can read in silence
Love the smell of the old books
All them lies
There are perks to not being homeless (yet)
Aside from the thugs trying to solicit my signature in the parking lot – everywhere I go
In their gold chains…
I wanna puke
Stop talking to me
From now on
When someone interrupts whatever I’m doing solo
“Did I give you permission to talk to me”
And the ghosting will begin
And please cross my shadow
I know you’re trying so hard to break me out here
Of being a good Soldier, a good soul
But I swore my hand before the flag and God – and on my heart – and signed the dotted line – took my blood and all – to protect and defend the USA and its citizens – not DEMONS
And right now you stepping all up in the “fine print”
I dated for a lifetime and have nothing to show for it
STOP LOOKING AT ME
I’m ready to spit on these thug politicians in the street
FUCK OFF BRO
You can’t have my signature, my name, or my soul
Go back to your porn and prostitutes
I was trying to enjoy the jazz event – and men breaking their eyeballs to get a look
STOP LOOKING
I had to hold back the tears
Pretend the music was getting to me
Next week I hang with a cop who teaches about a Daytona Beach serial killer
Exciting! They want us living in fear!
Do I want to say yes to the “true encounters Daytona Beach serial killer” event. Yes I do.
I’m not even a jazz fan – but I went – and enjoyed (still cry anywhere)
The audiobook helped me not stalk anyone
But apparently I’m not allowed to order food anymore anywhere
Unless a yuppie place
I found something that sparked joy in me
It matches my values – it offers self-improvement and the entertainment is how it should be – without disruptions or ads
Easy scrolling interface
Eventually I’ll make my way to the science museum
The skate park and rinks
I checked out an express book
I’m 8 chapters in
I’m becoming present – and creating boundaries and discipline
My mind needs exercise – the books provide
The 2 week express lane gives me a challenge
You can’t renew those
I got my library card and it’s bringing me happies – can’t describe
So much to do too – free classes, movies at the auditorium, events…
I was also the youngest person at the jazz event
If you’re thinking about killing yourself – maybe get a library card instead
And be present
Read what you check out
Set time aside to read
Luckily – my first book was large print – that’s made reading a pleasure – no headaches or squinting – though the writer is a pedo – he’s brilliant – it’s no wonder I grabbed his book – of all books on the “new” shelf (express check out and no renewal)
I like all the digital perks that come with my card – as well as the real world perks – and I’m tapping into all
NOT READY TO DIE
But these monsters are ready for me to shed my light
He said he doesn’t like my style and like I’m doing my best to not dress how society expects someone my age to dress and within my budget
I don’t need pretentious self-righteous friends like that
How hard is it for someone to say, “you’re pajamas are so effing cute” and why are only ugly people or supermodels allowed any nurturing!?!
I no longer like his existence so I guess we’re even
SOLD OUT!
I know I’m not as cute as the model but I scored this super cute pajama set for under four dollars and it was a limited edition item and will not be restocked. Super soft lace and satin. NOT USED, NOT FROM THE THRIFT. I’D HOPE MY KING WOULD BE PROUD OF THE GOOD BARGAIN AND FIND. GOTTA BE QUICK ON SHEIN. QUALITY MATERIAL, TOP DESIGNERS. Stuff arrives faster than anticipated- IT ALWAYS ARRIVES, I EARN POINTS. Zero bad experience on Shein.
Jesus completely submitted to his queen and gave over his ministry to her, FYI
SMART KING 👑
Anyhoo, just some comments that came on my blog today about how I should manner myself
My art is unbecoming
(Still holding top 51 tho thank you)
I MIGHT CAN GET GROCERIES NEXT WEEK TO MAKE MORE HEALING VEGAN SOUP AND GOD APPROVES
He thanks you because most men want to look but not share their fucking bread!!!!!
It’s written in the Bible!!!!!!
“Nice peach”. No, I ain’t got nothing for you to eat. Word of advice tho….”
I’VE GONE INSANE WITH HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF
GOD IS HELPING ME GET MYSELF AND MY KING TOGETHER SO WE CAN UNITE
THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK OUTSIDE OF AI OR THE ALGORITHM OR THE EVIL ELITES
COSMIC THANGS
MY KING AND I ARE UNDERGOING AWAKENING AND CLEANSING BEFORE WE UNITE
IMPATIENT IS OUR MIGHT
I WANT MY KING TO ENCOURAGE ME TO WEAR A THONG ON THE BEACH
I AM SICK OF BEING A NUN COVERED UP IN JAB
FUCK THE PATRIARCH!!!!!!!!
God loves my improv cooking!!!
God doesn’t want me starving or dying on the street!
God wants to see me more self-reliant and less having to rely on food banks for canned food
I do tasteful nude modeling and cosplay photography and art to accompany my poetry and it often correlates with the things that I am discussing in my poetry or what I’m even complaining about in the real world
I do full 36 page spreads (as they were once called) and now upload them somewhere I can earn some money – if I have anyone of interest and currently I’m grateful I do
Hmmmm starve or do photography that I enjoy that earns me a shopping trip to the health food shop for vegetables and stew
Hmmm starve or do something I’m passionate about 🧐
Die on the street like Edgar Allan Poe or try to overcome the odds 🤨
Most of them will say I wish I could buy you the moon while locking you on the bottom of the Titanic
I’d like to get to a point where I don’t have to fear losing my income or my housing
I’m already living under my means but yeah starve or stop displaying myself
Hmm I mean it’s a tough one cuz I apparently like to eat 🙄
But I have absolutely had this conversation with God 1 million times and I am not doing anything to disrespect myself or my future husband or anyone who is supporting my content
That’s the real problem and why I don’t have more supporters because I’m not an online nasty girlfriend
I’m not saying all men or bad or this fits all shoes
But I’ve maintained my purity and I’m only getting married once
I like producing content for my blog
Some of my stuff is very controversial and taboo 🤪
I think I’m autistic a bit because I always say what I think and I curse and I can be unempathetic during critical times as a survival mechanism and I always give too much info
I haven’t learned safe boundaries or acting on these sorts of online triggers
I don’t hate people for having incorrect opinions or viewpoints on me
These viewpoints are why I’m so isolated in the real world
Nudity wasn’t seen as a crime in Europe and nudity was in the commercials there
Now Walmart and the mall is openly selling sex toys – XXX sex toys in front of children
It traumatized me so much I don’t want to shop at Walmart or return to the mall
I don’t even own a sex toy and I’m not doing anything with my art that is shameful
I’m not into anything artificial and have been preserving myself for my king
Most people shame me for showing my body because it’s not full of plastic surgery or for not being thick
PRETTY BIAS ALSO EXISTS
You can tell by a lot of the comments these types of commenters leave me that they think I just stand in front of a fucking camera and have a photo taken and there is so much work involved in modeling and photography and directing and editing
“They got it so easy”
STOP GASLIGHTING ✋🛑✋
Since 1970, 68% of all life has gone extinct
HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING FARM AND FAMILY LIFE AND 3 MEALS A DAY
NARCISSISM IS A PLAGUE
I’m now too small for a small 😫
Gotta start shopping extra small for the peach 😤
PLEASE VALIDATE ME BEFORE I DISAPPEAR INTO NON EXISTENCE
I don’t cast stones I throw grenades I check for backbones But not here to save
I’m not Jesus Ask not of forgiveness Got light of Venus But I’m not Jesus
Look at him all mighty Judging from his throne Only wants the children He can do no wrong
He never shows me love, just judgment With him, I’ll never reach the summit
I don’t want to talk to him about the Holy Spirit He ain’t anywhere near it
I still talk to him Through ink and pen Through thick and thin There and hell herein
How do you go from creator to singularity So sparingly?
My brain is an artifact Don’t have a heart attack
I follow The voices in your head Every murky shadow Leaking trails of thick red I’ve met the dead Down in the Bayou Your sins are widespread Walking on gravestone I hear the cries where the wind blows I hear your echoes on the radio
His smile is an ice-shelf breaking free
Put up a plaque for my humiliation What’s the will of a freemason?
We need to watch our agreements Human not demon Give God a good reason
Gonna start using the gym where I live. In an attempt to work on my booty gains. But I’m still dying and cannot go hard.
People are dropping dead by what I have.
10,000 steps and gone.
I think it might be a better solution than bike riding since I almost got murdered twice in a week but I will not be giving up my riding because I need to listen to the birds and get the fresh air where I feel free.
Not secure. But it helps me remember what I’m fighting for. Why I’m fighting for humanity, including my own.
And I’m currently in my own personal hell.
My spirit has been broken and I am only a fragment of what I could be.
His poetry, that is absolutely 1000% not about me (?), gives me glimpses of who I am.
Or want to be.
There really is no difference. I live in his mind. He’s my sanctuary.
I hope it’s his arms I get to crawl into and die, even if a word is never said.
I want him to be my final avenue and I want him to lay me to rest.
No other.
He must hide my body from the establishment. Give me back to earth. 👀
Not prematurely. I’m still putting up the good fight to live but that’s not where my thoughts are.
I’m still red flagged at the VA for being suicidal. The very very bad kind.
One slip up and I’m off to the funny farm via the pigs against my will.
And I’m a Soldier, not a rich boy, we eat mystery meat.
And I’ve always identified as Native American and I want to find my tribe and get out there and hunt and slay a buffalo, so get off my dick
I scheduled my email for deletion. I didn’t save anything. Conversations with my dad, the dead, intellectual property, spam, the whole shebang. It’s gone. Decades and decades of conversations. Nothing saved.
I don’t want to remember anything of my life.
Is anyone worried for me? 🤔
Y’all, it’s gonna sound weird but I did a vinegar foot soak, and my breathing improved. My body was going into anaphylactic shock. But there was an advertisement that kept appearing over and over again for a home remedy
And I thought what the fuck
I know I was nearly burned on the stake in the past for witchcraft but…
A witch needs land and apple trees
An apple a day yes
Let them rot
And ferment 👀
Acid is the cure all (well not the cure all cure all but it’s now my number one most loved stench)
The Garden of Eden is full of vinegar on shelves 👀
Don’t judge
I’m not even coughing hardly any more
Welp. I don’t know how many lives I’ve now used but I feel like I’ve got a new body
Compared to “I’m not gonna get out of here am I” 👀
And I wasn’t just going from panic to calm, my body was breaking out in hives and I couldn’t breathe
And the VA were like, “your tests results are all fine”
And I literally left a voicemail screaming at patient advocacy that I was about to fucking die and that I needed a new care team but then I found out that if I got a prescription outside of the VA that the VA would cover it so you know
oh did I tell you I went to church Sunday?
I have energy again
So I’ve been doing vinegar foot soaks for 10 to 15 minutes three times a day now
🎃🎃🎃
Apparently you can drink vinegar as a tonic too so I’m about to be drinking in it, not just bathing in it (and I’m doing facial tonics and even ear swabs)
I find white distilled vinegar works best
I mix it with water
Half and half but you should do stuff based on your own skins tolerance
But don’t ever put vinegar directly on your skin because it’s acid and it will burn so you need to dilute it
Don’t get it in your fucking eyeballs or anything
Apparently you can do a scalp soak and it will cure dandruff 👀
However, it can dry out your hair but I’m gonna be giving it a go! Dip dip!
Just change blood bath to vinegar bath (put 1 to 2 cups in yer bathwater if you want your skin to feel soft as a baby again, soak for 10 – 15 minutes in lukewarm water a few times a week – skin not hair)
I have also learned you can use it as a deodorant and mix it with like lemon water
Seriously, it will kill any kind of foot fungus or order too
Sentinel and witchy
Who knew it was gonna take vinegar for me to breathe again 👀
An apple a day
Still learning the big lessons
Feeling better but I hope it’s not that little burst of energy you get before you die
It took a weird ad about a home remedy foot soak to get me cured
And no, the water did not change a weird funky color
My skin immediately began to improve
And then my breathing
My lungs are clearing up 👀
My heart is feeling anew
I don’t know what to tell you
A fucking weird ad saved my life
And I was reading article after article about black holes and the multiverse at 2 am – it was one of then weird click-bait type ads you see
I didn’t click it or anything
It’s just a bunch of them ads you see following an article when you’re reading comments about something
And I’m not exaggerating about going into anaphylactic shock or the fact that I was actually nearing my mysterious death
Clearly needed a detox
I need to go shopping for the other ingredients to start drinking it so I’ll let you know how the drink goes
Again, if you don’t mix this shit right you can burn yourself
But my body has had nothing but positive response
And until I feel like I’ve expelled the devil, I will continue the routine of vinegar soaks, even if not as frequent
I love how baby soft my skin is again
And the fact that I can breathe again
Without a machine 👀
Edgar Allan Poe and John Jones are my spirit guides
John was a Mormon so they probably used vinegar to clean everything
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Decided to write a poem without the similes but then it felt naked so I had to put one in. 😇
I thought Dracul loved Mina. Where’s my big love? 😤😤😤
*sobs*
My tears are burning
😭😭😭 helps 😭😭😭
Oh, I just wrote this. But the way my brain is deteriorating, it surprises me I can write at all.
Well maybe when the day comes that I forget my name that I’ll finally remember yours.
Don’t fall in love with a devil 😭
It’s purgatory 😭😭😭
But now I know why Edgar Allan Poe died on the street, nakid, possibly poisoned, broke, heartbrokes, likely depressed and drunk. And he served 2 years in the military, he didn’t deserve a death like that. That was not an honorable death. Welp. He better have a statue out there or I’m gonna have an effing fit. But whatev. Asteroid Apophis is on her way. End times will come for all.
Gonna die unloved.
Not everyone winds up with a burial plot. For many, they become dust in the sand. And it takes an extreme amount of heat to burn a body. Extreme to turn bones to dust.
Inconsolable The way you throb for her I move through life Like I’ve heard not a word You’ll get what you deserve My love decomposable Grasping at darkness It’s exposable The Great Unearthing You’re disposable
I have some photo shoots I’m wanting to get done but also a lot of moving parts that need to come together. Scout locations. Costume fittings. Weather permitting. And that’s just a few… I don’t want to give away too much but I’ve never done anything like this before. Patience needs to be a virtue. I’m antsy.
The Covid pandemic is also holding up items in the mail that I need. But whatevs. Life. Gotta come up with plan B, C, D and revise/update when you can. I’m very spontaneous, what the fuck is patience? Go now! Welp. Not now now though because it feels like Antarctica outside currently. I nearly turned into a Snowman. WTF Florida get it together. My heat is on.
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Gone But left my heart to disassemble on its own I left it rotting on your throne Caring too much for desensitized bone Lust your tomb or home I’d rather be alone Direction unknown
Not today and probably not tomorrow either. Jesus himself could try to teach me the lesson of forgiveness but God literally made me incapable of learning it. I’m an angel. I am meant to send demons to hell. And I’m an ACTUAL warrior, highly and sufficiently trained by the United States Army for 15 years. Even been to combat, have seen war. Broken in more ways than one, but never my integrity. Not my honor. Not my pride for the sacrifices, I’ve done for my country.You can’t fucking break me, the Army already did. And I’m going to survive this apocalypse without you. Enjoy your proverbial bed. 😊
I cringe at socialites. Just not my thing. And that’s okay. Introverts deserve recognition too.
I barely can handle family events which is why I pretty much don’t do them anymore either.
2 am snapchat version me (and 48 hours no sleep, yay insomnia)!!!
And to the ones who give me space to do my work without any bullshit involved, thank you. I’ve said this like a thousand times before, but I am a war vet and I am not a social creature. You shouldn’t base how much I like you, on how often I come around. But there’s also certain platforms that I have gotten off of, for the most part like Facebook, because it’s toxic as fuck. I had stayed on the Instagram and Twitter but I’m kind of falling off the Twitter now too.
You’ll notice I’ve never had a contact box on my blog. I don’t participate in prompts. I’m currently not doing collabs. I’m not good with communicating anymore either. I don’t do social events, I don’t do social outings. I don’t people. I don’t even like knocks at my door or phone calls. I have disabilities and health issues that keep me isolated. But I still have to kill off friendships because they get mad at me for not wanting to go hang out at a bar. I don’t even drink. 👎👎
You can bribe me with food though at any point in the day. Be extra careful though at midnight because that’s when I’m the hungriest and turn into a gremlin if I DON’T EAT.
On the upside, I am considering adding a limited number video chat tier to my Patreon, as many writers and artists offer it. Can discuss anything, writing, read me something you’re working on, chat about the weather, get writing tips, get feedback on a project you’re working on. Whatever! Regular stuffs that these video chats are for (the non sex work stuff)!
I’m also wanting to add a print tier (which is coming hopefully within the next 60 days) and if I could get enough support rolling in, a cosplay nude tier. Costumes, makeup, props, equipment, these things require money. I’ll be needing to update my goals on my Patreon soon as I’m growing thanks to your feedback, encouragement, and continued support! ❤💪💪💪❤
I like my privacy and my solitude but you know, there are narcissists out there who give you the cold shoulder for it. I’m not freezing tho. I’ve got shelter. I paid my electric and rent + 9000 other basic cost of living expenses which keep the poor poor. But my feet are warm. I mean, the narcissists tools of manipulation just don’t work on me anymore. Sorry not sorry. Hungry and suicidal. On edge 24/7. Want to be on my own, create art and fuck the patriarchy… Basic 101. Art was always meant to be political. Or rather anarchical and against the norm. HELLO, THAT’S ME!!! *waves*
Insomniac queen
Thanks for checking out my work and supporting independent writers and mental health warriors! 💖
I’m on the Patreon, if you dig my writing and photography or digiart, there’s loads of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT up! You get cool perks for pledging and I get to keep writing and running my blog advert free! I really like writing! I’ve been practicing my art since I was a little girl, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do it professionally! 😍
You are an ocean sterile of courage The damage you forage Using me to build your forest All my love stowed in your storage You’re now a florist An apparition or permanent tourist Loving you will make one poorest Overgrown but rarely nourished Your cold hand is never furnished
I hope my exit is ripping through your home Like the direction I go Like the hope you don’t know Like the love we won’t sew
I hope regret is chewing like a mole How you’re never feeling whole Now it’ll never be a goal You have no soul
I prey bygones have dug a proper grave And to lust you are a slave Now you have a place to pray God won’t listen anyway
I hope hell becomes your permanent cave And your tears break wave after wave Like my heart you failed to save You’re living decay
I hope the winter solace becomes a permanent artifact How with her you’re always shacked How your truth is always blacked Who I am, you’ll just retract
Lies! With the devil you are packed And she clearly has your back Every lie will leave a track You’re both an act
Read my new poem Bed of Bones on my Patreon! You get loads of exclusive content, poetry, photography, and digiart (images that you may use for your own blogs or projects, all for $1 per month!!!) Plus, I get to pay my bills and eat, which I’m struggling to do so.
Read my new poem Bed of Bones on my Patreon! You get loads of exclusive content, poetry, photography, and digiart (images that you may use for your own blogs or projects, all for $1 per month!!!) Plus, I get to pay my bills and eat, which I’m struggling to do so.
If you appreciate this blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon: www.patreon.com/poeeternal
If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here.
I’m now on Twitch! I’m going live with spoken word soon! Thanks for following me there! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal
Sometimes I experience words as if they are new That’s what your written word can do Pushing and pulling through and through Take my breath, turn me blue Subjunctive mood
Lay it out for me in lines Penalized Marginalized Revised By your red pen, I am chastised
Twisting and burning Your pens always yearning Speaking of truth as if you are learning Replacing your mask while your lies keep turning Every single day my anger is churning!!
Lines! Lines! The devil’s crossing, the way you’re talking! The constant lusting, a poor man’s cursing The way you haunt me The nightly stalking I can’t keep walking
I’m more than drunken babble Jagged edges traveled I’m more than all you saddle Or the porn that’s on your channel
Stop pretending you’re something you’re not The baggage you carry weighs alot Still licking your mask for all that it’s got Worried the truth simply might drop
I go from wanting to block him to wanting to fuck – I go from ‘I hate him’ to “he’s my buck”…
Jagged edges Overcrowded ledges Falling into hedges Deserted second pledges
Wishing things I haven’t Rotten choices maggot Fine tuning an old habit Lessons always absent
Why do they always have to lay on me their personal conditions? I want to muse not defuse the hourly emissions Confessions, obsession, next the rejection The highs, the lies, twice the objection Undermining and poor correction Next you know there’s more affection Every step has got you guessing But no one ever moves direction
From none to some From some to none From birth to young From aged to numb
From luck to curse To curse from luck From fast to stuck From good to suck
I’m still finding bones you buried Death the only thing you married
I wasn’t around love and nurturing growing up I was a petite girl beaten, I had it rough My mother, my sister, my father’s, they all were tough From blood to bruises, scruff was the stuff
The frog doesn’t know until it’s too late that the water is hot People either loathe me or they love me alot Maybe I’m formidable or maybe I’m not Maybe you’re alive with a heart full of rot
He left but his silhouette remains Life is quiet where shadow overstays Not even a whisper asks if I’m okay
All you ever give me is your poorly drawn lines. I’ve heard this excuse now a million damn times.
Stop pretending my love is a crime Stop telling others I’m not worth a dime It seems you’ve laid integrity on the line Darling, I’ll win every time
Lure her where light breaks Offer her heartaches Remind her of her mistakes
He made his bed though he wasn’t prepared The road she was going he couldn’t care It seems her worries wasn’t shared Or maybe underneath the hiding, a boy was scared
I left you like a ton of bricks crumbling
My rearview shows the void A boy devoid Self-worth destroyed There’s nothing to avoid
Tear me down Disassemble words ticking Fingers clicking People bitching Darkness my gown
Dreams still wishing Lies keep twisting Sorrows non-fixing Love went missing Watch me drown
I can go but the only thing it’ll prove is that I’m gone…
If only forgiveness were a page to turn All these hills are mistakes I’ve run And I cannot change the things I’ve done
Got my enemies watching with a telescope You say you hate me but you know I’m dope I see you clinging to my every hope You pray I’m drowning tho God is my boat
Spoken word coming soon to my Twitch TV! Watch this space!
If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
If you appreciated this post, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.
I once held him like starlight in my eye But the light slowly turned to drab And hope was a rope not an inch to grab I watched a living life magnify and die
His breath was once a sail for my dreams But the air turned stale with mold and dust And hand was an enemy not an ounce of trust Life passed me by it seems
His poetry was once a creed and map But his words turned to curse and hell And love was a poison for not feeling well Between my heart and his there lies a gap
So I’m alive and still writing poetry. This is Annie Lenox. Rescue kitty. She’s been the queen of the domain several years now. Got her when she was a wee 15 weeks old, recently turned 7 years young. Gorgeous girl and sweet too! Happy birthday, Annie!! My goal is to get her a new tower from Kitty Mansions. She could use a new tower/ number 2. Won’t be til the Jeep is paid off. It’s coming! Highly recommend them!! Cat approved. Got her this one in 2015 (I think) and it’s withstood moves & 24/7 use! Isn’t she cute? She’s clever! 😍I’m still alive and writing and growing my hair out. 6 months dye free. Ack! Putting on some quarantine weight.
Life is only precious because it is fleeting It’s a shame you and I won’t be meeting Some people come into our lives only for leaving It’s a hard lesson but where I am leaning
You’re all in or all out There’s no middle ground to talk about I give you my best, you give me your worst One minute I’m free, the next I am cursed
Maybe I’m not the one or maybe I am For what it’s worth now I don’t give a damn For I am a lion and never a lamb And the hand you are selling is only a sham
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If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
It’s not the best house but it’s definitely not the worst And if you think I’m worthless well honey you’re not the first And if you think I’m perfect well your bubble I’m here to burst And if you blame obsession I know I’ve got the thirst
I may not be a diamond but I’m definitely not a curse And if you’re wanting love well my heart left in a hearse I might have said I loved you once or twice in verse But if I stick around I’ll likely make it worse
Fallen Angel (self-portrait)I know I don’t matter. You made that clear. I don’t base my worth on you or my sometimes mistakes. People grow, people change. At least, I do. You’re likely holding onto versions of me that no longer exist. I’ve said my sorries, I’ve made my peace.
If you dig my writing, you can support my advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
If you dig my writing, you can support this advertisement free blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Ahem, y’all ever have someone you don’t know, just randomly claim they love you? There’s a guy I never had one conversation with message me to tell me he was completely in love with me. In hindsight, I wonder if I’m reaping what I sow. Does the guy I claim I’m in love with think of me the way I think of this guy? I hope not. Him and I, at least had some conversations together, I always enjoyed his spoken word and he even did some spoken word for me once so I know what he looks like. I know why I love him. I know why he makes my blood boil and my heart beat. I know why my soul is connected to his like a tether. I know why he makes me completely black with jealousy. I know why I long for him and cry for him. I know. But this other guy who loves me, I don’t know at all. Anything. Maybe I do. Read the poem.
I iz confused. Goddess of Confusion.
If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
Someone once asked me was that Hitler on my t-shirt… I should have said yes.
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Some will call me treasure but it won’t last for very long Some will say they love me when they never did at all Some will never see me unless it is to fall Some will give me numbers but tell me when to call
Some act like they know me but we’re only ever strange Some move through life cycles but they never really change Some will give me pieces like there’s something to arrange Some will call me crazy yet they really are deranged
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If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon (thank you my lovely Patrons for keeping this blog going and the words coming 😍): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal
I make decisions I know I’ll regret later And I don’t know why I pop around, the truth is that I hate her In disgust, I watch how her little minions all think that she’s greater But she’s the equivalent of an asteroid making a crater And what he sees in her requires a calculator And a wallet, then add sex, she’s just around for labor But then she removes her panties and she just isn’t my flavor Maybe she thinks exposing herself is doing us a favor Well, for him, I’m sorry, but it’s the only motivator…
Warning, the following is a rant you best avoid but I needed to do it for my own fucking sanity… I only speak the truth. 👇
It’s not that I have anything against sex workers in particular, it’s just, I don’t like her, in particular. She’s gross, she lies, I can’t get the image of her vagina burned out of my mind, I know he sticks his dick in her (she’s cheap, AKA free), she emotionally blackmails him, and while he may put her in ropes, she’s the one that’s got him chained, she’s a pyramid scheme to her own fanbase which was built on lies, she pretends she’s a publishing company and acts like a cheap whore. It’s not hard to make your blog private if there is nudity, it’s kinda the fooking rules. But I guess she wants to help contribute to ruining our children in America with free porn yah!! (I’m sorry but close up shots of just your vagina is fucking porn). I hate her because she came to my blog spreading her fucking jealousy which led me to go check out her blogs and then I had to see her exposed vagina which I didn’t want to fucking see… And if I had paid to see that shit, I would have asked for a refund for real. But now she needs to pay for my fucking therapy to get her out of my head. I mean, why she assumes everyone wants to just come to her blog and see her fucking vagina up close!?! It wasn’t even like, neat. Like, I complain at people for posting pictures of their hands up close if they don’t even fucking have the decency to get a manicure beforehand or put lotion on… It was hard enough coming to terms with the fact that them two are in a thing together. I’m not jealous of her body trust me, I don’t think she’s worked out a day in her life. You could go fishing with how coarse her hair is and judging by the looks of it she probably does. I’m not jealous of her fake fanbase that she’s created by pulling her panties off and lying to them. It’ll be a long day in hell before she releases her hold on him, I wouldn’t put it past her that she blackmails him. I’d bet my soul right now that he’s trapped, it’s no wonder their time together is always turbulent. I don’t like her for many many reasons there are for not liking a person. She’s bad all around. There’s good people like me and then there’s deceitful people like her who try to make you believe that I’m the bad person… I don’t like her because she’s a hugely bad influence for the love of my life. I don’t like her because she pretends to be a nice person, but if she was really a nice person she would have followed my blog when she came to it originally leaving all the comments that she did, but she is as fake as they come, she did it out of spite and jealousy only, and hoping that I would go check out her blogs like I did and find out the stuff that I did and now I have to watch her be all friendly to all the other bloggers we follow… In the beginning I was even stupid enough to follow her blog but I didn’t understand why she came and left me all those comments but never followed my blog but later it all made sense and I figured it out… (obvious facts they both deny). She never had any intentions of following my blog because she was jealous of him writing poetry about me while he was fucking her. Sad truths. But we all run in the same circle, so I have to see all of them support each other but leave me out… cuz I’m the problem LOL LOL and more poetic rants likely to come because I need more therapy for how much I can’t fucking stand her…
I feel slightly better after the rant.
And even after all the horrible shit I have learned, I still love him… Why? Why does the why even matter anymore? Him and I are the modern Romeo and Juliet. I swear we are. He’s beautifully dark and I love him. I just can’t stand her… And I’ve already gone through my period of slashing him through my poetry, I completely crucified him for real. But he still carried my cross. And loved me. And I still love him. And I still have the hope of one day and she can’t fucking take that from us… or our poetry. 👍👍👍
(even if he convinces y’all that none of it is about me)… mirror please) 😇😇😇😇
Listen, I’m not the smartest girl on the block, but I’m also not the dumbest and I know what’s real and I know what’s not. I love him and he must really love me too because he’s never actually blocked me anywhere despite the fact that I have crucified him more than once but he must have known how much I was hurting because deep down I have a reason to be hurting because this shit is actually real it’s actually fucking real and happening in real time right fucking now and it’s NOT just imaginary in my head. And even if his words aren’t always for me they heal me the same. I love him and I know that I’m his favorite love. He has many girls who love him but none who love him as much as I do. My love was made for him. The thing is, I can need him and set him free because it is real love and it keeps coming back to me. And I wish I didn’t dislike her the way I do because then maybe it would make it easier for him and I to be friends and follow each other again, but that’s exactly what she doesn’t want. She needs control. She’s also very co-dependent on him. I’m not because it is true love. I probably could have liked her had she not been a deceitful jealous spiteful conniving bitch. So, I’m sorry my love, but I think you can do better still. xoxo
And to the bitch this is about, get in the sea already…
SORRY NOT SORRY
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PoeEternal 