Emotional blackmail is what she has for sale
Trying to trap his love because she’s not feeling well
I warned him before she is a demon sent from hell
With flaming red hair and a soppy story to tell
© Delia Ross. 2019
Praying he makes future better choices, & she needs to let go. Trying to trap him because she is sick is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL.
He’s got a black tongue
a fat thumb
a constant desire-
to fetch and come
but like all liars
and in between fires
your city he’ll crumble & burn
© Delia Ross. 2019
Heartbreak hotel
In the center of hell
Under sorrow I dwell
I am not feeling well
Part alive, part dead
Mostly full of dread
To sadness I am wed
In a world he will never tread
Spoken words, incantations, or curses
Only dead things here to worship
Above; heaven on the surface
But watch him draw the curtain
(So I just keep hurtin’)
Moments of magic like electricity
Flashes of hope set my soul free
The hand was one and not an army
Words sweetened just like candy
Skeletons, nightmares, and broken dreams
Are all that’s left for me
Your words like a symphony
Helped me grow so vividly
Mourning the loss of trust
Mourning the fate of us
Overwhelmed by the life you crushed
I thought you were made of stardust
Stranded in our garden
With nothing left to bargain
One heart simply starving
Crimson tears set to harden
© Delia Ross. 2019
Regret; you wear it like a dress,
Take it for a spin in a shiny corvette.
Integrity; you haven’t got any yet,
Honesty a language you never learned I bet.
Lies; they’re like sparkle in your disguise,
When it meets the light it always make the shadows cry.
Tears; they come wrapped as a favorite prize,
Just another reason the Earth will die.
© Delia Ross. 2019
Narcissism is destroying the world.
I woke up to my Sunday morning with my ride having been damaged by a heinous, criminal act. I do not have the money to repair it. IF ANYONE CAN HELP, PLEASE HELP. DEPRESSION AWARENESS! SUICIDE AWARENESS. I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE. If anyone is capable or caring enough to help, please, I’m at the end of my rope.
Silence on the battleground
Blood on my sword
Sorrow now eastbound
Forgiveness I’m not marching toward
The sky is red
My heart is black
The love is dead
I’m not coming back
Tie my boots tighter
Brush off the pain
I am a fighter
Death is my reign
Casualties on the field
Integrity is my alibi
Your end is where I healed
So this is where you die
© Delia Ross. 2019
Wicked games coming around
Wicked games bringing me down
Hurry, paint on my favorite frown
‘Cuz wicked games have taken over town
© Delia Ross. 2019
Driven mad with jealousy
His every sin makes me bleed
I imagine my tears taste heavenly
To a demon lust is his only need
© Delia Ross. 2019
America generica
Land of the lies
Freedom is an episode
Where individuality dies
Sheeple a dime a dozen
And honesty he never tries
Chasing his tail in circles
Lost behind the guise
© Delia Ross. 2019
So there it was, Lu and I
Outstretched his hand an ally
There sat a truce within his eye
Another devil here to apologize
Once you’ve heard one lie you’ve heard them all
You can change the ending but you cannot stop the fall
You can change your perceptions but you’re still behind a wall
The only lies worth spinning are the ones you can’t recall
Lu has been there for me since the day that I was born
When my parents would beat me and my wings could not take form
As if it was his duty to sit with me and mourn
So deep down in the darkness that his feet would come to warn
There are some places angels aren’t meant to be
And it was during my lowest times Lu would come remind me
And it is always a fine line between heaven and hell I am walking
And there’s not a detail overlooked when the devil is talking
But the dark has come again and now Lu has arrived
But these really are his tunnels where we all reside
And even in this darkness my purity has thrived
I wonder if his prayers are the reason I survived
The words hello and goodbye never slip from my tongue
The sorrow feels deeper and long it was hung
The worry will linger where heart took a stung
And with very few words the devil just took a swung…
To be continued!?!
© Delia Ross. 2019
Oh my goodness y’all, Lu has been protecting her all of her life until now!?! What did he say to her? Why has he hurt her!?!
I’ve never tried writing like this before, my epic tragedy was written in one night after it came to me in a dream. I had an idea for a story (this one) and wanted to see if I could write a longer piece but I wanted it to be without rules and regulations and I wanted it to feel experimental. I haven’t written any rough drafts or used any of the prewriting techniques we were taught in school. I knew the basis for the story and I wanted it to feel open-world. I dig open world video games (I’m a huge gamer and I’ve been playing games since I was a little girl and it’s one reason I want to play Survivor CBS cuz game play matters and that’s the best game on fucking Earth and I’m getting ready to audition for a fourth time and the first rule of Survivor is never give up). Anyhoo. This has been a huge challenge for me and I can’t believe I’m already into part 7. Sometimes I just want to quit writing cuz I’m nowhere good as the people who admire me the most, even my best isn’t comparable. But I try so hard… in pretty much every aspect of my life. To fail over and over again. But that’s life, failing and getting back up again to fail again. *sigh*
It matters not that I am human
Or how to his darkness I can tune in
He cares not if he keeps moving
That his soul is never fluid
And his cruelness is often proven
A beautiful soul gone to ruin
He sets his hand to always losing
He lives in shadows to keep from blooming
He is primal like a druid
© Delia Ross. 2019
Speaking of druids, this is a forever mood
Wrap it tight, wrap it snug
Insert love with every word
Never rushed, never slurred
Ensuring messages are always heard
Now take the love and cut in thirds
Put on blinds so eyes are blurred
Gift denial so minds are stirred
Undo connections and act absurd
Destroy the paths, silence preferred
Hide in the dark, act a coward
Give them doubt to march toward
Give them pain where love was stored
© Delia Ross. 2019
It was like into a black hole my life was ejected
If pain had been running for presidency, it would have been elected
Now when I’m on my knee the pain feels more infected
Now when I think of you my heart feels more congested
Will you ever tell me why my heart was not accepted?
Will you take all my love and put it in a necklace?
© Delia Ross. 2019
What am I but skin and bones
A kingdom of right and wrongs
A street of worry and heavy are each stone
Once his muse, now a girl who moans
Watch how he exits and dethrones
He hasn’t a backbone
What am I but a bruise that won’t heal
And to his lies I won’t back down and kneel
And to his demise just a fifth wheel
And why I’m the scapegoat I’ve no idea
There is no resolution, there is no choice
There is no evidence of a voice
Now pull the plug but don’t rejoice
His love is simply white noise
© Delia Ross. 2019
Can you love a man?
But not know him?
Does love exist?
What type is it?
Can you want a dream?
Without anything?
Can you feel a thing?
Without noticing?
Can you give it a try?
Without the alibi?
Can you draw the line?
Some other time?
Can we start again?
As a real friend?
What can you admit?
Am I that easy to quit?
In comes another nail
The devil on my tail
He smiles while he impales
Off my sorrow he sails
There he goes again, always with the wind, there he goes again, always with the end
© Delia Ross. 2019
Ruined! Ruined! He would croon
And sit I would under his Blue Moon
He’d stitch at his identity until noon
And come tomorrow sing a different tune
© Delia Ross. 2019
Essentially, all of our lives we are trying to figure out who we are. We all wear masks, don’t fool yourself. Welcome to ego. Destination: piss poor self-esteem or narcissism. Welcome to the 5th level of hell. It’s really hard to manage your consciousness here or “self”. I hope you brought rum… (and if not, why the fuck is the rum gone!?!)
Take my hand, replace the pen with blade
Remove the smile and put on the ache
Close my eyes and pull down the shade
Memories are better when they fade
Take the ink and spread it on my pain
Ensure the tears are gone without a trace
Organize regrets and hide their face
Erase the love that’s written on the page
Say amends but never say goodbye
The space so far he’d never hear me cry
If I could take his pain you know I’d try
And if he ever wrote I would reply
© Delia Ross. 2019
having feels
I keep a little nightlight turned on inside me called hope
I allow it to guide me when the dark is too blinding
When my knees are turned in and I am unable to cope
When moments are bleak and I require unwinding
It seems these days are darker than most
You say you understand but you don’t
You say you could help but you won’t
And Depression Isle is my favorite coast
Stability, what a fucking current you are
Ability, like a wave, I might get far
Tranquility, is a rather distant star
Humility, is as visible as a scar
You can find a trail of mistakes behind my depression
And their opinions of me you’ll find are open sessions
And the life I am living they’ll act like they can question
And it’s nearly impossible to form any real kind of connections
So I keep a little light turned on in me called hope
And on days of decline I grip it like rope
And it seems every hour I am on a slope
And it’s hard to believe I am alone on this globe
© Delia Ross. 2019
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The lies I was eating too, were all mislabeled
Feelings that could not be swallowed, pushed under the table
The love she was selling you, have clogged your cables
Caring now a fortune and something I’m just not able
Annoyance like a vine and it creeps and entwines
If happiness were a choice they would all still decline
It seems so obvious but they require written signs
Apophis now a decade out from the end-of-times
Life’s so very short but they still won’t understand
And if they wake up now they might feel something grand
And it will be too late when she comes to kiss this land
And if that doesn’t work, well, death has other plans
© Delia Ross. 2019
Life is short, love now… MORE LOVE. The world needs more love. I don’t have time for anything else.
Do you ever regret building my wall?
Do you ever feel anything at all?
Are you even aware of what you lost?
Can you feel the weight of its cost?
Are you proud of the pain you caused?
The red flags raised and lines you crossed?
The bridges burned, the lies you craft
Did you all, have a good laugh?
I gave you love, you fed me wrath
I still dwell in the aftermath
© Delia Ross. 2019
Truth came hard like thunder, the sky opened her eyes, flush with rage, she whipped across the night, striking melodies of discord, a witness to betrayal, an immediate downpour of reason, she licks blood from the spear of doubt, her shout echoes into the distant memory of what was, what ever could be, lies dance in ballerina shoes into neverland, but truth comes hard like thunder. I open my gates to her fury, for she is my sister and cry together we did.
© Delia Ross. 2019
Chance was cast aside
Like a broken promise forgotten
Friendship lay there rotting
Like a dead carcass
With his lover circling like a buzzard
Her heart as cold as the Arctic
Black as night is her word
A circus queen for the heartless
I’ve not read a thing she muttered
Nor drank from which she harvest
They are black seeds of dread
Crimson pools of tears from where I bled
Laughter from the ones who never suffered
Jupiter knows the ways I cried
© Delia Ross. 2019
You make me feel like all the black emptiness of space. Infinitely nothing. Gone, without a trace. Vanished into oblivion. Banished without face.
© Delia Ross. 2019
I just sort of died.
Nothing more to be said.
No inspiration coming through.
No motivation going out.
Silence. Isolation. Despair.
Gasping for an inch of life.
A real connection.
Anything other than stars to make it better.
More than planets.
Give me wonder on Earth.
In man.
Make me believe I matter again.
Finding the best of the worst.
In any cup.
Empty. Depleted. Agony.
I don’t want T.V.
I don’t want sunshine.
I just want the one thing that I’ll never have.
Love.
Care.
Help.
Concern.
I exist as a slave to the system only.
One I fought and protected.
Some can’t handle the truth.
I keep discovering more.
Must retreat.
Must nurture the dark now.
Feast on it.
Feel things inside me die.
Like hope.
Dreams.
Reason.
More pain now.
To cover the broken spots.
More calluses forming.
More soul bleeding.
Leaking into nothingness.
Becoming one with it.
Acceptance.
I am nothing.
I am no more.
But something new dying.
Which results in me crying.
I don’t even try.
The warmth on my cheek is soothing.
Let it thaw you.
All things die.
Fertilizer for regrowth.
Play in the ashes.
Taste the salt.
Rub it on a wound.
More coming soon.
More death. More dying.
Starving.
For anything.
A touch.
Yes.
Importance.
Maybe.
Invisibility.
Reality.
I don’t want food.
I need a kiss.
A hug.
A worth.
I own the night.
This is my playground.
Lu offers refuge.
Massaging my despair.
Wanting to nest my soul.
Come on sweetheart.
I’ll pull out the red carpet.
Don’t worry about the blood.
It too will pass.
I’ll walk beside you in this land.
Would you like a hand?
Another bargain perhaps?
Apophis is coming.
One decade left.
What is it worth?
Everything hurts.
He’s right, again.
Cunning and always right.
A white hole now black.
More night.
Can’t see color in the dark.
One final place for my thoughts.
They congregate in my halls.
I want them to fuck off.
They will.
As they are killed.
I slaughter and murder them.
So I can’t feel.
I can see everything clearly now.
And that too hurts.
Make me blind.
I never want to see again.
He arrived during my storm
Lightning and crashes and bleeding thorns
I had not a sign to warn
And there was not an exit for him to turn
And though his silence did cause concern
For him, a bypasser watching me form
Inside the eye where I yearn
A witness to my fury and my charm
My winds so strong he flew from my arm
And I in regret for causing him harm
His patience for me wraps me and keeps me warm
Calming my tempers and lowering my horn
Gently kissing my existence where I was born
Settling my winds so I can learn
Repairing the parts in my heart which are torn
For every moment apart it’s him I do mourn
© Delia Ross. 2019
Written words intended to sting
Written traps that would wound a king
Tied it tight to the back of my wing
Stuck around to feel him tugging
Held so tight he could feel me cutting
Cried so loud he could here me coming
Insert the spear while his heart is still pumping
Make sure he knows that I am not bluffing
Leave him broken so he can’t feel nothing
At least then I know he can feel something
And get a taste of the pain he is causing
Let him know how bad I am hurting
Teach him a lesson about deserting
Tie his feet so he can’t keep on running
Oh my love what are we becoming
This isn’t the love that I had summoned
© Delia Ross. 2019
Separate myself
Break myself
Turn into something else
By myself with nothing left
Let the ache manifest
From my head to my chest
How dare it linger and fester
Building gravity in the dark
Gathering more matter
Heavy and hot
No beacon call for distress
No maps to guide on this quest
Alone in silent protest
Not alive nor human nor best
A star too soon compressed
A black hole just like the rest
© Delia Ross. 2019
Take one leap forward
He falls 80 meters back
Moving with such force
My heart felt the deep impact
I came to offer light
Where I knew that it was black
He messaged to move forward
As a matter of fact
Now I’m getting lost
He is not on the map
My heart can’t proceed
If it’s stuck in a trap
Fears are circling
My mind it cannot snap
I fear if it does
I’ll have a fucking heart attack
© Delia Ross. 2019
Once he had laughter but he cut it into pieces
Thinking more always meant better
Kept it in the rain, never saw a bit of day
But expects for it to shine any weather
Say you wanna love it, then you tweak it and cut it
Chain it down when it’s only a feather
Label it “together”, when it’s just another tether
But you’re married to that irony
Shine it up like diamonds, flash your pearls to the dying
But I know you’re living in agony
I know I could be smiling, I should laugh instead of sighing
But this world gives me anxiety
Doctors all prescribing, pills which are never satisfying
Still they got their tiny hooks over me
My family will look, my friends will even root
Just to see this time how I will perform
They tried to teach me form, but I am against the norm
I’ve been in walls that shrink ’til you conform
You can build a boat to travel through my storm
But if you’re going to love my flower, you gotta love my thorn
© Delia Ross. 2019
Pulled straight out from the mire
One sweet heart now gone sour
Leave it to cower for an hour
Diminish the balance of power
Make it feel your fire
Left unattended it should expire
© Delia Ross. 2019
Like a snake he will shed
images that fill your head with dread
Under disguise in a flower bed
hissing & denying anything he’s said
Ole Copperhead is seeing red
He’s like an atomic warhead
A nasty fungus here to spread
disease & lies & pure bloodshed
© Delia Ross. 2019
His love is like Russian Roulette
For all he’s had and still not found love yet
Under his reign I had many debts
The lost and wounded are his favorite pet’s
Losing you won’t give him any regrets
He’s already forgotten you I bet
His love was like Russian Roulette
It doesn’t matter if they are blond or brunette
He’s not interested in her silhouette
Once he’s hooked you he’ll enjoy a cigarette
Making them cry is his largest asset
The only way to go no contact is to move to Tibet
© Delia Ross. 2019
Take heed my warning
For death is coming
The skies are painted red
Mud instead is raining
And burying the dead
No amount of training
Prepared for the bloodshed
© Delia Ross. 2019
PoeEternal 