Posted on by poeeternal

Clue

I’m on an island of a thousand tears
If you took a boat you could find me here
Silhouettes of you in the clouds appear
Echoes of your voice in the atmosphere
On my knees in prayer I gently kneel

I drift alone on this bank of silence
Every tear another wish for your guidance
Reflections in the waves I see your diamonds
Nothing fills my need more than your iris
Open up your eyes you’ll see your alliance

I know your past and still I love you
I can be your future should you want me to
I can be your now should you pursue
I can be that friend you never outgrew
I can be whatever you need if you haven’t got a clue

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Mannequin

I’m like a mannequin in a window that you’ve only come to browse
Or a lion in a city when I’m really just a mouse
I’m the lie that keeps repeating when you haven’t any vows
I’m the girl you stopped defending just because your words arouse

I’m the contact in your mobile though you haven’t got my cell
I’m the address you keep needing though you know I live in hell
I’m the one who gives you meaning when you’ve lost your will to dwell
I’m the love that keeps you dreaming but it’s never parallel

I’m the moment you kept dreading but now it’s come and gone
I’m the reason that you wake up when there isn’t any dawn
I’m the one who says I’m sorry when there wasn’t any wrong
I’m the one you call a queen but you treat me like a pawn

I’m the silk from your mouth when you needed just a muse
I’m the gold that you won but forgot on the cruise
But for me you’re the boy who removes all the blues
And I’m just a girl hoping I’m the one you will choose

© Delia Ross. 2019

I wonder if he loves me in the real world…

Because it would make me happy if he did… ❤

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Ghosting

The future without me you seem to be hunting

Or maybe inside you would rather be hurting

Maybe it’s just a hand and you’re bluffing

For numbers and games seem to cost you nothing

Everything you write keeps your “other friend” blurting

Everything you do her opinion is asserting

(And if I do the same you’ll hit the delete button)

My ghost that you seek will shortly be coming

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Undiscovered

I live in the words of how another sees me
I live inside the bruises of past enemies
Ex-lovers chain me to memories of who I used to be
Held to the past of visions I am now blind to see

Many with offerings of second chances
But none offer a dime to help with my finances
I’ve been under their rule and cancelled the classes
That girl died when I removed her tinted glasses

I had to untangle the worry where it had knotted
I had to prune the weeds where my heart had rotted
I had to learn to dance where my memories were haunted
I had to hug the parts they all said were unwanted

I may be alone but I am not desperate
People may change but I’m still a skeptic
I may be tame but I’m growing restless
I may be weak but I’ve never been helpless

It is true I’ve taken many lovers
My past is filled with several colors
Regrets have visited over many summers
So much wasted time for a love still undiscovered

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Drowning

Do you know what it’s like to cut the cord on your dream?

Though it isn’t just a dream from sleep

But one from awakening

It is a lifeline to your fate

The weight of consequence
Feels like an ocean
As you’re sinking

There are moments you want to swim back up
Fleeting moments of reason
Caught in a net of fishing line

More struggle

No you have to sink deep
Feel the pressure in your chest
The anxiety, the agony, the sorrow

You want to take a deep breath
It would be your very last

Panic. Now regret. Doubt.

Peace will come again.

As soon as my pocket knife cuts this cord
And I race to ascend
The light my friend
A reasonable decision
Air in my lungs again
Pain lessening

You were dead weight.
An anchor in my soul.

I swim towards finality.

I’ve made it to the lighthouse.

You are a memory I drowned away.
And I nearly drowned with it.

You would have been the last thought on my mind.

As you were always on my mind.

Unrequited love.

A pain I hope to never know again.

As I crawl off the shores of a dream that died.

I am never looking back.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Rainbow

I took a trail that he never did pave
I said goodbye to hands that never did wave
I killed the parts in me that required aid
I buried the love he incorrectly weighed

I’m still uncertain what is my worth
According to him it’s not very much
I felt the pain of a missing touch
My soul wanton and fully crushed

I watch him give his time to another
Her love so possessive it seems to smother
Meanwhile our distance only gets further
And our rainbow is finally losing color

Black and white rainbows reside here
I drown big pharma so I can’t feel
I killed the parts that time won’t heal
And with this lesson he taught me I dissappear

© Delia Ross. 2019

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I’m So Scared

I’m so scared for that little girl
Who grew up abused in a broken world
By men who only ever used

Who never taught her love
Or how to be well
No one will care
Unless to get rid of

That little girl now five foot six
It matters not if love exists
For it has never reached her lips
Love serves only as a crucifix

Oh how I cry for her!
To her family a stranger
To the world a number
To death an anchor

I cannot save her though I tried
I must now stop being her guide
For I only seem to make her cry
And make her pain multiply

Oh how I hold her tight!
And squeeze with all my might
Her eyes blind from sight
Her body coiled from fright

She is a desperate, fragile thing
The gentleness of a morning spring
A seed in the dark in need of blooming
She is the breath of an angel singing

Oh how I know her aches!
I know her dreams and her mistakes
I know where her branches break
I know the thunder her cries make

Tiny frail hands always with blessings
Teaching others love was always the lessons
Helping others was always the message
But now it’s time to end the sessions

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Homeless

That sound is silence
The quiet act in violence
My thoughts in a riot
As if on autopilot

He is not the best
Not even a little
Though like the rest
I’ve set for remittal

Just maybe he is the worst
As I fell for him first
But he is an endless thirst
With no quench for the cursed

The damned be gone!
There is never any dawn
I must carry on
Where his ghost has spawn

I make love to nothing
A ghost I am hunting
One with his absence
A love without an address

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Illusion

Words needn’t be backed up with a promise to have meaning
Lying seems to be the direction everyone is leaning
Tongues twist and slither without feeling
Inserting poison which keeps us from dreaming
And as the blood boils our hearts stop beating
Hate simmers and spreads in a cycle of repeating
And from this dark spiral we keep feeding
Outnumbered, my feet and love start receding
Here comes another decade of me screaming
Hope faded with the dawn of needing
My love is the only love that can bring healing
My soul is weary and ready for eternal sleeping
I fight to stay alive God willing
I wish I could stop my love from ever leaking
These demons feast from me and leave me freezing
As I lay dying I start believing-
Love is just an illusion to keep me from leaving

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Scarecrow

Take a bite of silence
Spread it like a virus

Watch the hour widen
Feel the pain ripen

As hearts growing calloused
Whose wall is tallest

Add it to the distance
A sweet tongue now viscous

A truth more painful than a lie
A hello more terrifying than goodbye

With all parties now listening
Two of the same are wishing

On a star which died many years ago
What remains is a shadow

Though they wouldn’t know
No they wouldn’t know

He remains as a scarecrow
Protecting over his soul

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Crystal Ball

My eyes with such vision they are a crystal ball
Things that I see leave me clawing up the hall

Revelations so heavy I’m breaking down my wall
Time always settles me but every time I fall

Try to pick myself up but instead I will crawl
Another day is gone without a hello or a call

I’m beginning to think I’ll never hear from him at all
And I guess I’m not as important as I once had thought

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Death

I just sort of died.
Nothing more to be said.
No inspiration coming through.
No motivation going out.
Silence. Isolation. Despair.
Gasping for an inch of life.
A real connection.
Anything other than stars to make it better.
More than planets.
Give me wonder on Earth.
In man.
Make me believe I matter again.
Finding the best of the worst.
In any cup.
Empty. Depleted. Agony.
I don’t want T.V.
I don’t want sunshine.
I just want the one thing that I’ll never have.
Love.
Care.
Help.
Concern.
I exist as a slave to the system only.
One I fought and protected.
Some can’t handle the truth.
I keep discovering more.
Must retreat.
Must nurture the dark now.
Feast on it.
Feel things inside me die.
Like hope.
Dreams.
Reason.
More pain now.
To cover the broken spots.
More calluses forming.
More soul bleeding.
Leaking into nothingness.
Becoming one with it.
Acceptance.
I am nothing.
I am no more.
But something new dying.
Which results in me crying.
I don’t even try.
The warmth on my cheek is soothing.
Let it thaw you.
All things die.
Fertilizer for regrowth.
Play in the ashes.
Taste the salt.
Rub it on a wound.
More coming soon.
More death. More dying.
Starving.
For anything.
A touch.
Yes.
Importance.
Maybe.
Invisibility.
Reality.
I don’t want food.
I need a kiss.
A hug.
A worth.
I own the night.
This is my playground.
Lu offers refuge.
Massaging my despair.
Wanting to nest my soul.
Come on sweetheart.
I’ll pull out the red carpet.
Don’t worry about the blood.
It too will pass.
I’ll walk beside you in this land.
Would you like a hand?
Another bargain perhaps?
Apophis is coming.
One decade left.
What is it worth?
Everything hurts.
He’s right, again.
Cunning and always right.
A white hole now black.
More night.
Can’t see color in the dark.
One final place for my thoughts.
They congregate in my halls.
I want them to fuck off.
They will.
As they are killed.
I slaughter and murder them.
So I can’t feel.
I can see everything clearly now.
And that too hurts.
Make me blind.
I never want to see again.

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A Song For The Heart

In a different place
In another world
With a different face
And another girl

With a different heart
Better spoken word
Where we never part
And we’re always heard

With a different life
Not a lonely one
Where I am his wife
And my heart he has won

It’s a full moon rising
It’s a love worth shining
It’s a full moon rising
It’s a love worth climbing

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Garden of Evil

Feed you little hope until he sticks the spear into reason
And any ‘we’ that could have been marched away with every season
Any love was filed away, stamped and marked by treason
Faltered steps and bleeding eyes kept us from ever sleeping
Secrets and lies forever keeping our tongues from ever speaking
Every corner turned I am facing another demon
This must be hell though the sign said Eden
And I just stumbled onto another demon feeding
And though falling down he knows I deserve the beating
Walls of denial and regret seems to be his region
Lessons go unlearned in a cycle of repeating
Clasped hands and bent knees will cost you your freedom
Prayers in hell only causes more bleeding
Lingering thoughts of doubt causes us more needing
Love turns to hate in this garden of evil
I am an angel of truth with a broken beacon
Trekking this journey so long I forgot I was leading
Washing my hands of blood and all of this dreaming
Erasing any trail of love now that I am leaving
Scattered about in memories you’ll find my broken pieces
For me, words have finally lost all of their meaning
The only remaining step is to mark this blog for deletion
A vow of silence henceforth to keep me from this prison

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Debris

I got to where I never cry
I can feel the hours passing by
I keep the blinds closed from any sunshine
It doesn’t cost me a dime
To waste all my time
It feels like the wrong design
I still tell them all that I’m fine

Suffocate on all the energy
Surrounded by negativity
Completely numb without sensory
Nothings ever bothering me
Nothing to ever do, no one to see
Married to my invisibility
My soul a wasteland filled with debris

© Delia Ross. 2019


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Edges

Keep on crawling to the edge
of his love

Keep on falling off the ledge
from his shove

Keep on calling
though he’s not home

Keep on bawling
on my own

He keeps stalling
from this love

I keep befalling from his words

Keep on rolling down
where he roams

Always on the edge of his ledge

Always on the ledge of giving up

Always on the edge of his grudge

Always on the ledge of his love

Always on the edge of his touch

Always on the ledge of loving him too much

Always on the edge of forgiving this one

© Delia Ross. 2019

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For Your Eyes Only

Friendship shouldn’t be a challenge
Honesty will keep you well balanced

I know you like charm
But you fill it with malice

Standing proud
Like you are the tallest

But inside a monster
Simply hardened and calloused

With a river of lies
Flowing down from your chalice

Empty and cold
And a waste of your talent

Gifting others pain
Your proudest gallop

Acting as if everything is always so passive

Knowing fully well
You were playing in my ashes

Treating me like I’m just someone in the masses

Killing my heart simply like an assassin

Acting like me showing you love was a curse
You’ll come to find going without is much worse

Keeping secrets locked behind a screen
Hiding from the one who would have loved you unclean

You can say that your eyes are open and serene
But underneath you are plain cold and just mean

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Purgatory


I’ve made wrong choices, let the wrong friends in my life
One beat me so badly he nearly took my life
I’ve taken many lovers but I’ve never been a wife
Everyone thinks I’m paranoid cuz I’m married to my knife

I’m not giving up, I’m still holding on though I’m losing height
My steps are slowly faltering and I’ve lost my will to fight
Every time I turn around someone has taken another bite
It’s almost like the demons know my soul is filled with blight

I’ve been down this road searching for you for sometime now
I should finally take a rest and give Lu a proper bow
I only care about you, I too avoid the crowd
I am utterly devoted to you and to this I avow

Now you know these terrible truths do you even want me around
Though we’re both wanderers in hell love is still allowed
I wear my favorite sin and I want to make you proud
But if you ghost me in hell I will never make it out

© Delia Ross. 2019

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24-hour Shift

How do you forget something once you know it exists
How do you put the blade to your own wrist
How do you cross a soul off of your list
How do you explain chaos needs a misfit
How do you find light when the sun’s never lit
How can a stranger leave such an imprint
What is it about me you don’t want to risk
How much more pain are you going to inflict
I’m chained to a cross and your actions afflict
My heart is still buried inside your dark crypt
I know I was wrong and deserve to be whipped
But I’ve never experienced anything like this
If there are rules please hand me a script
Do you forgive me for being such quick lipped
I’d crawl unto you and beg to be kissed
My love is on a 24-hour eternal shift

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Karma

There it was, labeled to me – I, the addressee
Trying on lovers because revenge tasted sweetly
Inserting the blade ever so neatly –
Ensuring the heart was severed completely

Burning through dreams like an oil field in the night
Running out of fuel and the zest for a life
Looking back but never having any foresight
Dancing in alleyways with nothing but a knife

I can lie and pretend I will live and die by you
One day, I’ll come to know those lies were never true
And now decades of mistakes when I should have just withdrew
That’s the trouble with searching for treasure when you haven’t any clue

© Delia Ross. 2019


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Daydreams

I want to meet near the sea
Where my enemies become allies
Where my laughter drowns out your cries
Where instead of for her you are looking for me

I want to drift where places forget my plea’s
Where destiny it sails within your eyes
Linger in depths of truth, no lies
Build seabeds of love and devotion under skies
Riding waves of every pleasure and phrase you devise

I’d rather be there than here where I cry
I’d rather be there than here where my dreams come to die

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Equations

I’m probably the worst at them in all of the nations
I avoid them like they are an army prepped for invasion
I’m standing on options to build balanced foundations
A singular note though with many abrasions
You’ll never find them tuned into any of my stations
My numbers don’t amount no matter the occasion
I’m just bidding my time to wish you all congratulations
I love him whole though and to this there’s no variation
Zero room for error despite his many persuasions
Newtonian law states he should feel my vibrations
He has the answers to all of my equations

© Delia Ross. 2019


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Mildew


Followed broken trails that lead me straight into you

Misread all the signs because I haven’t got a clue

Darkness replaced faces where there should have been a hue

Bars replaced windows where there could have been a view

Tears replaced arms on this lonely avenue

Just thought that you may welcome, an old soul passing through

Love sweetly soured filled by all your black mildew

I’ll add you to the map of monsters ran into

And avoid you like a plague no matter what you do

Left my boots at your door and filled them with voodoo

I guess I am a monster but now I hate you too

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Transfer Request Pending

I’ve never had anyone look at me the way they look at her
Although I am fully grown I must be an amateur
I wonder when they look at me I appear to be a blur
Similar to a black hole, is there nothing to observe?
Many times I have been told I’m just not what they prefer
But why do they always get to decide what is that I deserve?
I applied to move to Mars, I hope they put in my transfer…

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Heart Failure

All my plans haven’t gone away
They’ve really just been delayed

People they fret I can’t explain
They all just sort of strayed

It’s not my style to beg or plead
I sometimes require aid

They all want something from me
I have nothing for trade

Many years spent on this journey
Every direction came a grenade

You tell a different story
That isn’t the life that you portrayed

Why do you get all the glory
While I’m prisoner in this stockade

No need for you to hurry
My heart rotted and decayed

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Invisibility

Both of us lost what neither could win
Choosing to struggle over complying
But I guess you know best, why else were you spying
Maybe after her you simply gave up ever trying
Some may live close but they aren’t as gratifying
The effects won’t last long, about as quick as when you’re flying
You know I’m always right, there’s never need for clarifying
In these words I fight because you’re so electrifying
I need for you tonight to realize that I’m dying
To die never loved it sounds so very terrifying
I’m leaving this for you it’s why I’m always writing
You already live a beautiful life, it’s why I’m never prying
It’s a bit unfair, I’m invisible, you’ll never catch me crying

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Grant me a Pardon

I say goodbye for him
I climb mountains with a broken limb
Battered down and wounded still I can feel
Do all I can to fully disappear
I’ve got him on my mind all the time still
And he’ll never know I was even here –

Attending to his garden
Watching his heart harden
Wishing I were less of a burden
If only he’d grant me a pardon
Please speak to the warden
But he hates me I am certain

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Love Like Russian Roulette

His love is like Russian Roulette
For all he’s had and still not found love yet
Under his reign I had many debts
The lost and wounded are his favorite pet’s
Losing you won’t give him any regrets
He’s already forgotten you I bet

His love was like Russian Roulette
It doesn’t matter if they are blond or brunette
He’s not interested in her silhouette
Once he’s hooked you he’ll enjoy a cigarette
Making them cry is his largest asset
The only way to go no contact is to move to Tibet

© Delia Ross. 2019

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RESIDUE

The shore rises
And as our dreams do
Hopes are washed away inside us
Awards instead of gifts as prizes
Pills wrapped in silk disguises
With this wave a bit of residue
Likely he’ll never get your point of view
I’m sorry if I ever troubled you
Give love a chance the universe advices
We won’t need anymore of those disguises
Which road leads to your avenue

© Delia Ross. 2019