poems – PoeEternal

Posted on May 8, 2026June 6, 2026 by poeeternal

Protected: Some poems

Posted on December 4, 2025 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Best of us… (p∞)

He was something beautiful
A storm surge
Rushing through oblivion
At the throne of dutiful
No question he loved her

Dust forms in the cracks of your soul
Exit gates where my pity can tiptoe

Try to disappear wearing red
Got the killer on a bloodshed
Going for the gold
Glowing above my halo

He’s breathing lead
Like he’s the second planet from the sun
You better run

But I’ll be hiding in light
I’m right in sight
The guns and the knives

It’s familiarity
Hiding twice as fast as speed
Is he looking at me

Lying underneath the rubble
Exactly where he’s slugging
Disappointment ain’t subtle

The way your stillness blinds me
Turns me into butter
Like looking in the sun

So I escape instead
Of dying in the gutter
In the lattice of the young

Last time I was caring?
Red herring
When’s a time you never lied?
HaHa you tried

I’ve been sleeping with an attitude
I’ve been sleeping like you asked me to
Sometimes it really comes to choice
Like what else am I supposed to do?

Grossly corrupt
How they grew up

Got us hanging from the line
And my ears are ringing
From your screaming
“You gotta cut it this time”
The world below spinning
My head killing
But I’ll need a minute
To process this ending

You’re waning gibbous
Saying death could be the best of us

I seek a future different the past.
What right ascension and declination have you seen one at?

I never really learned to tie a knot
It’s not my luck
I never learned to love a lot

Can’t get a leg up
Probably miss him too much
Text him when I’m not drunk

Like when I give him secrets
Can’t trust he won’t keep them
Wrap em up beneath him

Bran scan shows I’m dumb
But I don’t know how come
Unlike this chair I built
With all his lies I’ve dealt

I’ve got a single bullet
Don’t know where I should put it
Maybe under the Mistletoe
Right where the axes go

Have you succumbed
Down in the mire
Took you how long
Cutting through the liar

Do you know the coordinates to this black hole?

Hi. Goodbye.

Barely alive – had burnt toast n cream cheese – hanging in there

Posted on November 4, 2025November 4, 2025 by poeeternal

I had the worst diet (lines n rhymes)

There are hills I have climbed
There are mountains where I’ve died
I’m still lingering on the hillside
There are trails where the blood dried

Your stats are booming!
But it doesn’t mean I’m looming
Come school me
Don’t fool me

I had the worst diet
Lived on his lies like it was the Hyatt
His love was a riot
Never peace
Just wanted quiet

What am I doing holding onto these ashes?
Counting midnight stashes?
Wondering how long life is?
Cuts like a knife when
Life ends
Just like yours did
Where does mine begin?

The same way they think they’re game is worth waiting for
They’re a fucking bore
Matchmaking locked
But I got a glock

I didn’t want to give another update; another reason why I am late. An outtake: for fuck sake

My favorite part of the journey is the rest
Think I like it best
Some call me lazy
Cuz I like to nest?

Of course we would meet through the ether
I’m not pure either
Heaven I would not enter
Just sitting here in purgatory
Like a bedtime story

My love is buried in a cave
Degrading
Am I worth saving?

Dear Follower,
I know you followed
Through endless hollow
Look all the years and roads we travelled
Bickered laughed falling on some gravel

The places we will go
You know I miss you so?

Met you at my lowest
like an interlude
of course it wasn’t the devil
but God true and true
even if you were just a man
he looks just like you?

Do you think God could create a love that goes on forever?
Do you think the universe is a love letter?
Cuz I’ve got memories as distant as stars
But not where you are
Like living in a waking dream
You are there in the corner of my seams
WALKING WITH ME

We’re neurodivergent
We spin like it’s urgent
Spinning faster than the earth is
Some say we’re imperfect

Error
Like an arrow
Straight to the center gravity
Of my failure

Still I’m getting better
Miscalculating data
Just like the AI
Counting only matter

I don’t know what I’m holding on to
Will I disappear after all I’ve been through
If I let her go, will I be new?

I don’t know what I’m doing here
When I want to roam the streets dear
But my shadow’s bringing fear

I don’t know why I’m circling
Nothing I do ever stops the hurtin’
There’s just avenues of me

Burial piece cuz single never married (i think it’s real crystal cuz it’s imperfect yah?) but also the energy – the light reflecting – the weight and things (new crystal head piece) (will things catch fire if i go out in the sun – i mean that could make for a good vampire short) (and yes people do catch their houses and cars on fire over 1 tiny crystal – how many does this hold) – new superpowers uncontrolled – prob why im grinning – i could be the most hideous beast but not my headpiece) (he gonna wanna marry me)

They pass out medical diagnosis like it’s a weather forecast; “You’re 6 degrees from dying but there’s sunshine at last”…

Precognition

I said, you’re perfect
Nothing would be worth it
That’s the verdict

(I’ll never date or acknowledge another ten) (not even gonna look their way) (oof TOUCHE BROTHER)

RUST IN HELL

Like if a ten ever asked me out for anything I’d be like: WHAT. NO. You’re more than a ten.

I’d simply walk away.

And if he persisted I’d just demand loudly: I DON’T WANNA BE YER FLESHLIGHT

Yeah no NOT REAL – DENOUNCED – took me a whole science degree and 40 plus years WOOHOO – I AWOKE

Like standing up for yourself
While backing into a wall
It’s no fun at all
But you will prob hear me laugh
As I’m picking up my step
Crying down the hall

(p∞)

Postscript:

I dunno if I’m clumsy or if it’s almost a full moon

Two things can be true at once

I get upset I don’t spend more time talking to the stars

That shit won’t even be twinkling til I ask it something specific: “did you miss me, two for yes, one for no” and I’ll be blessed it’ll blink twice

HA! knew knew

Our love is instant – no distance between the two

The sun is local

Flat earth: not confirmed

(I know things b4 they happen)

I pick up the signal before the signal arrives

DO U WANT MORE LINES?

(Im still under a treatment plan, not in remission, got tired of the constant penalties trying to game or socialize)

You don’t want me writing on *insert CGP* yet

Better let me feed the squirrels

And stop cutting down the trees

You already ran off Owl or killed him one

Im on final edge

THERE’S NO MORE WARNINGS

I’ll attempt to post some of my DBD gaming maybe – just to show you how pissed off I really am – either go all in on the killer hardcore pallet stun blind after blind or i never move

I go in without an offering item or perk

I don’t lurk

It’s either “go ahead and get yer 4k or there’s no stopping me and i’ll even get the hard save”

I was laughing SO HARD when I kept getting STUN AFTER STUN and kept shaking my head NO but the killer was heated – and I was so calm – Im learning to control my moods thru the game lmao

Get the killer all worked up and I aint even breaking a sweat

Eh sometimes I feel bad and just let them have me cuz damn i be mean

But what’s even more fun is the killer only saving me

Ive tried to die and they’re like “nah you can have hatch”

“Im suicidal too”

Sweet. Happy Halloween boo.

Squirrel enjoying the fresh food n water from the rabbit carrot ceramic bowls

I uninstalled the game. AGAIN.

And I don’t doomscrool

The one app I was left on kept punishing me after I spent loads of money feeding the enemy

Im not supporting other creators when I cant do the same (without penalty)

Im tired of appealing?

I really wanna update my blog?

I have goals but then again Im bed rotting

I was at physical therapy yesterday

“Im not ready for a walker”

But you need to get use to seeing me with a walking stick

Moving into my Moses phase

The mountains been calling

I would write more but there’s only the phone

I hate my tablet

I hate my laptop

I hate my Playstation 5

I hate my TV

I don’t hate eggnog or pie

Or this little guy

Posted on August 2, 2025 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Why heaven can’t reach us

I imagine the distance that keeps us – and why heaven can’t reach us – because space isn’t just silent – it’s speechless

Maybe your name is Apophis. We’re both lost in the abyss.

THAT’S NOT WHAT I ASKED

According to Saint Peter Steele:

“April 2-0-2-9 the final time / the end my friend is not near / the hour – in fact – is quite here” (-)

(Could you pick your speed up on writing lines, even if I’m not on time, I never learned to set a clock, I never even hear a chime, it’s almost like it is a crime, but I can do a run-on, I think it has been too long, but I don’t have timer in the kitchen to help me not burn this song)

He reminds me of you. But aren’t your eyes blue? Like an angel from the sky, make me fall down and sigh. Know you saw me coming too…

Or maybe your the Jester, I’m just a guesser

Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?

(I really just wanted to share the first 4 lines – I’ll play catchup another day)

It’ll be easier to snap photos of my messy writings

It’s just freestyle

It’s not messy messy

It’s just – the urge – to write in cursive

With curses

Found out who you really were / didn’t make a difference cuz / you were meant for her \

You go from sunshine to icy winds
The road less travelled is the road we’ve been
You go from shadow to now we’re friends?
I guess we’re ghosting again?

Flat earth : not confirmed

Posted on July 13, 2025 by poeeternal

“I’m not afraid”

Are you paying for your sins
Cuz it’s all black and white where we live
Like looking at the the sky
We go places planes won’t fly

Have you sat in a room with your biggest enemy?
Did you have a chance to dine with me?

Where do you go when you plan to leave?
Will you appear in another galaxy?

Cuz’ I don’t need a crystal ball
To see the sacrifices crawl
Or flowing down the river bank
“It’ll never flood again you think”

Have you calculated costs?
Is it buried under mud and frost?
Or a thousand-hundred years
Like losing lives on lies

Cuz you ain’t never shared your bread with me
You ain’t never been to bed with me
(But I know you would’ve bled with me)

Cuz shedding sin is like shedding ghosts?
But it’s cold outside, so you’ll need your coats

I know you got an alibi
I’ve been driving 80
Flooring 100 lately
Just to hear your lie

Time is platinum
Unlike for Juliana
Sacrificed no honor
Locals cheering “she’s a goner”

But I don’t know who wins this
When every policy’s unfit
Unclear is your last text sent
Since you swore there were no fears

I saw you trembling on the mountain dear
And how they took their time on getting near
But I know they had “a lot of gear”
An ulterior motive to carry up as well

“I’m not afraid”
God is unfazed
But they will pay when they return to hell

Like a raging torrent
But whose paying for it?

Want more? I’ve got a few more. Lines in me.

What if they confirmed it was rat logs
The old data involved
But they will say “is current”
Another Data breach
Circling like a serpent

I bet that nest smells of death and decay and everything you fucking say

I embrace my bruises and scars
I embrace for impact

Do you know how to measure luminosity?
What about the loss of me?

Well I guess that’s all I got (for now)

(It’s all on pages)

(In the real world)

Posted on April 28, 2025 by poeeternal

Relax and let the ship sink (p∞)

These days seem important / but I won’t record it

There’s a serial killer on the loose
Roaming places you once knew
SAID YOU HATE IT TOO
Blackouts in Spain
Signals lost in Europe
Doc says I’m insane
Your image
Burns like sunrays
Might forget your name
But not today

I’m switching squads
Never tell me the odds

GOT IN TROUBLE FOR COLORING!

And watering my plants

Prob gonna buy. I can barely walk. But one can dream and waste money simultaneously..

Want another poem?

Oh you want me to open it? I gotta read it for you too? *rolls eyes*

You ask me what I think?
Relax and let the ship sink.
The fridge is empty.
That’s why we’re sinking?

One day
I know you will write
Until then
You keep on counting when
The sun will turn grey
Like my head will one day?

In between the heartache
The constant tug-of-war
The daily battles
And crying on the floor
The thinning hair and desires
And hours wanting more
There was so much love
Worth fighting for

6000 years of nihilism but there’s gonna be hell to pay

He went through all the emotions at once
Psychosis
Like distant chanting
There were no monks
Yet heard voices calling
He locked death in trunks

Hey,
Where are you? I’m locked out of my account. Like being locked out of the house. But there’s no yard about.

There’s a stench
Coming from below
Where the landlord resides
Could be a dead body
Could be anybody
Decisions don’t decide

I like when the killer walks me to the exit gate / cuz I’m his favorite / the one he’ll never hate

He called
Said time isn’t linear
I bawled
Lips confessed he was a sinner

We were standing in a blast zone
I knew we didn’t have too long

I asked, who ripped the soul from this place?
Like he was looking at heaven’s grace
(can’t take his eyes from my face)

Couldn’t tell you
I’m better or worse
Wouldn’t tell you
I might need a hearse

He’s double worried.
Again worried.
So make that a triple.

I picked up a lot of details.

5 men.
Drones.
Rooms with blue lights.
Cancer.
Cops.
Mexico.
An apartment.
Girls who disappear.

But my house is trapped with a single blade of worry.

…. the kind of love letters i receive (thought i’d share a tidbit cuz i don’t kiss and tell) (the entire things reads like a horror film – but he’s worried for me – really really worried). This is how I hyphen unless it’s a sugar-free word. I dunno. I’m not changing now.

I’m not sharing the rest of the DM, not even with the FBI. It does read a whole lot better than this whole blog post but I think there might be at least three lines in this blog post that were worth reading plus you got a new photo!?!

Okay BYEEEE

(And the Army trained me to take on more than 5 guys. So did my skinhead boyfriend. It was a long time ago and I was dumb. But I remember his best friend was named after a black guy and I said that must suck. Because he was a racist, but his name was Jesse Williams or something

I’m not racist. I hate everybody but listen they were OK. They were fucking racist but the irony was the white dude was named after a black person so I just thought that was interesting cause I was 15 years old so don’t take it out on me OK because I made fun of him for being racist AnyWho.

I’m done correcting the AI for free

He also likes to change the word nihilism to nationalism and I would block him as quickly as you can say gross – but they think they can force electronics on me and I’m about to go AWOL I’m fucking dying anyway like I literally fell out of my bed and now I’m back to barely being able to walk again even though it’s not because I fell out of my bed. I just don’t know what the fuck is going on

I can’t walk. I’m gonna get some running shoes, seems practical.

Why aren’t you here to carry me?

I don’t need anyone to euthanize me. I can do that myself.

I MADE SURE I WAS SET UP JUST IN CASE

Of a break in

Or breakdown

Planning ahead

I mean, not planning

Uhm

It’s JUST IN CASE

I forget your birthday or something

39?

40?

I went six months thinking I was older than I am so leave me the fuck alone

(It’s a figure of speech)

😭

I’m just being proactive?

At least it’s updated
With blood-stained carpet
There’s an old dusty fan
Spinning right over your bed

The only noises are the planes overhead
Chimes with random messages
Claim drones instead
Said there’s a wall
Full of something sinister
Pictures lined with pictures
Killer stalking killer
Who then will acquit her
Like he’s a protector
Said they work in teams of 5
Things that made him quiver
Clues, worries, blessings, confessions
A messenger with lessons?

I’ve got a mountain of sorrow
We could meet

You could sign a lease
Or you could borrow
Free next week or tomorrow?

Your lines
Equipped to mine
Fly faster than earth’s rotation
Despite hesitation

Each time a soul is born the sun loses mass
I know my math

Impermanence
Like walking into a fog that swallows all clarity
I am this
Slowly etching fists
The ground broke the dissent

Message received
Like a spear in side
Am I deceived
You’re a ghost or guide
Above or underneath
I can’t decide

I received
An ominous message by you
Like walking on eggshells
I gotta break them first too
Otherwise, what do we do?

I scream
But now my silence is the loudest in the room
Like fingers mimic shadowwork
Deep inside I guess he knows my worth

Now cops and drones
And smoke and darkness
Won’t cover my bones
I stand tall alone

In my restless dreams
Nestled in between
What happens if you slip and fall
What happens if the rope breaks
When you’re crossing frozen lakes
Bridges iced from all we take
Just one more wake…

Stop laying on the floor
Covered in your own blood
Guess the gun didn’t jam
Get up, give a damn

Maybe stick around
The way I haunt you
Eons not enough to

So what? we’re dying
You gotta push through

Nine seven three
Who the fuck keeps counting
Get up off the ground

Or take an intermission
Put a tourniquet on what is missing
Oh honey I am listening

He’s not happy where he’s at
I can see it in his frown
Want to wear it like a hat
Wash it over me
Drown in the aftermath

I do judge
Like a great reckoning
I carry grudge

ALL LINES RHYMES AND CRIMES WRITTEN BY ME (minus the ominous message)

(p∞)

(More of the ominous love letter warning) (or scam) (or story)

The power really is out in all of Europe and there potentially is a serial killer loose in New England or thereabout

There’s this one guy who answers me immediately if I leave him a comment under any of his videos on his TikTok but if I say hi to him in his live stream, it’s like I don’t exist

so I unfollowed him and followed him back because I have the worst etiquette in this hell hole

Also I think some guys get mad when they see that I’m writing boys in prison!?!?

But it wasn’t a loveletter

It was a poem about black holes and hell

As if I needed to remind him that time is forever

And I ain’t even mailed it

I literally get in trouble for fucking coloring on my live stream and I’m covered up and fuck you. I have to see men all over TikTok, barely wearing anything.

~~I hope more of you drive off a bridge~~

I think “fuck you” sounds nicer

You stayed? Goodnight. All my clothes are dirty, and the landlord has not given me the free washer and dryer that he promised me which means I probably need to invest in one which is another fucking expense

Posted on January 10, 2025January 10, 2025 by poeeternal

Falling Water

falling water feels like brick
and we’re running under it!
dressed in bold color
but yellow is the only thing recovered!

p.s. today i learned (which was yesterday) that 30% of firefighters are prisoners making $10 a day & they can’t use the job as a reference when they get out – or be hired officially as one (cuz criminal).

now this is speculation (this part) but they musta put all the officially trained firefighters at the Getty museum and left the prisoners to sort the mansions in the valley

some of them might be going through an awakening right now

they know you worship them so will ask for handouts

the majority fled to another safe house

meanwhile NC TN & HA have had their land stolen by the government

there’s a few mansions in the hills that stood

they have hope

im just waiting on the “evicted” portion due to toxic land and water like they did for the commoners

i wouldn’t want to be under that but you insisted to put out that tiny flame

mansions are burning to the ground love

ha ha ha

ha ha!

herrrrrr!

errrrr

😐

how does that REM song go again?

i feel fine?

p.s.s.s.s.stimesinfinitys.s.s.s(9)[9]: i miss your poems and stories not written about me x2

🙂

i love squirrel and i love you 🙂

but not the staff 🙂

I NEED A BIGGER SMILEY FACE

and can you tell the dark haired neighbor he can come out his home

i ain’t no criminal lol

i ain’t no bum

i’m just LOST IN PURGATORY AND ON THE MOVE AGAIN

i hate it here and it’s not cuz of him!

i hope he ate the candy! i’m still eating on mine!

tell the cancer FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

so u gave it most away to someone who could handle the treats better

they cost a lot

i hope they were ate

halloween is a favorite season and NOT ONE PERSON CAME TO TRICK OR TREAT

wah

LAME LAME LAME

i want to live in a neighborhood and give out BIG TREATS and water bottles

I DID!

but boomers be scared of worldwide candies?

whereas the other gens enjoy treats from other countries

it’s not like they worry about what is put in american food! it aint food! it aint real chocolate or cheese!

i like to shop in the international aisle

i lived in Germany nearly 3 years (minus a war)

DO U KNOW HOW OLD I AM

HOW LETHAL

but i aint your enemy nor the candy

im sorry i was cold to you

walmart was trying to kill me

THERE ARE ZERO RECALLS AT PUBLIX FYI

im trying to find land2buy

please say hi 😦

before you move 😦

before i move 😦

NO ILL WILL

from now on only poetry in the form of commentary

m’kay

remember when i wore makeup and dresses and performed spoken word not read from a device? remember when i shared behind-the-scenes of forgetting lines?

remember when i had long hair and i stopped using filters?

what happens when there are no more lines, hair, or teeth?

will you still love me?

look at all the centuries we crossed to ghost one another again?

i love you but i dont love the staff

LOVE THY NEIGHBOR (JUST DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE)

IT AIN’T YER BRO YO

*giggles*

where is that pdf file i castrated into the void?

he ain’t texted me back since i blocked him for calling me “gross” for being on my period again

WRONG ANSWER

PIZZA NOW

but please im trying to become vegan so i only eat chicken

DONT BE MAD

ive been given up cheese n dairy milk n beef

i hold weights in the air when i can’t do cardio

im suddenly a bat into callistinics?

calisthenics

ok im done trying to talk…

BYE

Posted on November 6, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

future (p∞)

time races in intervals
you’re into her
it burns like midnight sun
my lesson learned

did you know we live in purgatory
on a map i think i found your worry
and i list it first your secrets buried
but i’ve forgotten where i put your story

like drowning in a carpark
where all the lights are flashing but it’s stark
and we’re looking for an exit
as future ghost we’re feeling desperate

the ole blog has over 100,000 miles on her, thanks to you…

i know i can’t take your words to heaven with me but i would try…

i still can’t get over how John Jones died or how his question nearly made me solve first world problems – or at least connect the two

but i still live between worlds where his soul leaped into mine

(but at least you don’t get mad about it)

my dad let a tree grow through his tour bus

i want to hang onto my ride in such a way

today i drove her to Dread Boys and they quoted me nearly 500 to replace a battery?

so i got right back in and said “welp please get me back home…”

and she fucking did…

and i guess im either going to an auto zone or learning to install a new battery myself?

not to mention the guy running the front desk took a bathroom break in the middle of a transaction? and it sounded disgusting so ill never return

the mobile mechanic i called isnt very mobile currently – i dunno how i feel about paying for his cab..

at least the postscript is somewhat interesting?

i keep thinking i need to get the fuck outta florida – then i remember bama is 45 minutes away – and like it feels a lot like hope on the horizon

it feels so near i could walk

bike

run

i just keep telling my girl to hold on

no one can be trusted

kinda housebound til i sort the sorts

i aint paying $500 to replace a battery

the Boomers can get FOOKED

need some land

need to figure out where i want to be

it aint here…

i drank coffee

CHATTY

and jittery

i dont think that is good for my heart

like it triggers my anxiety?

i mean i just act more nervous than usual

tachycardia

adrenaline spikes

so prob gotta give it up

the coffee…

better not to ask me out on a first date over coffee

fucking disaster

and i love coffee!!!!!

people are mad that trump won and are threatening violence

i did not vote – therefore i have no opinion over politics for the foreseeable future as i am exiting the matrix – kinda lost – but this is what PROTESTING A SYSTEM I DO NOT COMPLY WITH LOOKS LIKE

go change some more policies to support your nihilism and leave me alone m’kay

there were 33 million who opted to NOT VOTE for the antichrist

i thought i was the only one

but there’s a whole lot of us out there

wonder how many are gen x

you know of one

*hi*

i tried joining the Army to make a difference

i tried getting an education

i tried being a medic

i tried on society and never have once liked it

im never voting again

EVER. AGAIN.

i literally fought for freedom of speech and it was taken from me

and you want me to vote? go back to sleep…

(people in the system fighting for the system)

(but i want out)

(i wont participate)

(i dont wanna support anything in society)

(society is satanic)

(im going thru a spiritual cleansing)

(please dont exterminate me like you did p’nut & fred)

(and the squirrel out here i never found his head)

ripped off and not even a trail of blood

just his body

i have nightmares and ptsd

it is why i deleted my wildlife page

not risking Ali or any others getting hurt simply because they make me happy and demons live out here

have u seen the film Constantine?

top 5 fav for sure

i mean it once was

the me in this timeline which i jumped into during a lightning storm going 80 miles an hour…

she ain’t me but she is but she ain’t

not sure how im able to switch roles as myself but if the multiverse is real and we never really die

or we create our own reality

im not sure why i would wanna come back here

but there were thousands of hands of radiation and one of them touched me

it was so loud the entire town shook from the thunder

im not exaggerating! my ears are still ringing!

*kiss kiss on the cheek darling

but my tears are like acid…

46,000 visitors huh

and over 1100 stayed

neener neener

Posted on November 6, 2024November 6, 2024 by poeeternal · 7 Comments

Frozen (p∞)

we’re like a frozen planet
where everything is lying dormant
if only we knew who done it

how the mountains hold potential
or how you’ve written me with pencil
when the whole world was standing
where i would remain invincible

now they say we are a failed star
but i kinda like the way we are
like we’re near but we’re really far…

Posted on September 29, 2024 by poeeternal

plan b

plan b was getting lost and dying
I’m up in the mountains
the wind would say I’m crying
my feet would show I’m trying

look at Kris / standing guard over the apocalypse / ever the nihilist \

a denialist / clinging to his spear / dressed in golden gear / never thought the sky would bring so much violence

but i know his statue / his shadow shows no virtue / a millennial has passed / but i know it’s still you \

want more? another post is coming…

isn’t it amazing that my labs are fine up until SURPRISE! IT’S CANCER!!

John asked “why did you put me here” and i got to the bottom of it

to sum things up: nihilism

and there is so much rage burning inside of me

i just smile at the ones slighting me

they will know what hit them

so Kris was alive during Pompeii? and i may be Cleo & Mary

i may have met Christ recently

i met Lu in my first half

it would only make sense to meet Christ in my second – and while dying

but like, i prayed to see the love of my life for sixty seconds, and it turned out to be God in man form?

i mean i have identified as an angel since before i was born

but he looked like Christ

and he has imposter syndrome?

these demons are all like “God isn’t real” but i’m in love with him

for example: i decided to talk to the stars again

i was like “there you are”

and then i examined the sky for a bit talking into the night as if no one else on the planet existed

i was like “did you miss me” and it blinked twice again as if to say yes!!!!!

the stars are alive and actively listening better than the neighbors!!!!!!

i got out of the shower today and saw how much hair i had lost

all i could do was sigh

then i gathered up all and any prescribed items from the doctors and tossed them in the trash

holistic route

but hopefully not into the mountains m’kay

do you live in alaska?

it took me 4 years at least to realize her name was not her name

i cant remember the last time i stalked her

hearing her write about you is like stabbing myself in the side with Judas’s spear

i gave kris some silver

not 30 pieces

the value was low

unless you count the fact that an angel gifted you silver imprinted with jesus christ or a cross

a tiny little piece of silver with the value of “betrayal” stamped on

“I PAID MY WHORE”

“NOW I OWE YOU NOTHING”

“AND YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME”

(im just quoting a film calm down)

the silver was meant for protection

since the fire is coming

again…

WHERE WILL YOU BE THIS TIME?

WILL YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AS BEFORE?

GET RIGHT WITH GOD

eternity is forever

i want to feel love before my teeth and hair fall out

but you should have seen me in the mirror

just had to tell myself “it’s gonna be okay with or without hair”

“our life is already over”

this is the aftermath

of being alive while dead

Posted on September 26, 2024 by poeeternal · 5 Comments

unearth

i love her because the mountains are fair and deserving
she is lethal but she will not hurt me
like falling for gravity then question why it’s not working
why won’t the earth unearth me?

he’s a beautiful creation
i hope you protect him with all of heaven
like the ocean is waving
his energy is saving

i saw him and i went into fawn mode. i just stood there starring – unable to look away? so he waved but went the other way?

but he waved, he acknowledged my existence?

he did not break his neck to look away?

the doctor mentioned the C word yesterday

she wants more testing

but i am D-O-N-E with modern medicine

i have chosen the holistic route

OK?

medical malpractice is common

just ask all my dead comrades – oh wait

even i don’t talk to the dead (much)

im 50 kilos

she’s like “what did you weigh when you came to me”

im like “130ish”

she said “20 pounds in a year is not good”

hard to explain to a gaslighting demon that i am starving the cancer devil out of me

i stopped telling doctors anything

“the pills aren’t working, i don’t have a gun” (not necessarily in that order)

i mean, none of your business?

and really the “no i don’t have anything to hurt me” is kinda true

my safety items are for my protection, not yours (insert silly emoji with tongue out)

it’s why i leave my house again

except… i don’t go anywhere

cause and effect my love

have fun

i can’t take my eyes off of you

she was so happy i got a table for my sunroom

she said a “tea table” and i said yes

she said i want to come visit you

and my response made it seem like i wanted to put her to work

i gotta work on my communication

i remember yelling at Gavin Rosssale (of the band Bush) – who i drove several hours to go see – who stopped instantly signing autographs and taking pictures with others AS SOON AS he heard me CALLING HIS NAME

and he came and i yelled “do you even know who the fuck i am” and his eyes went big and my eyes went big and my mouth slightly fell open cuz i meant to nicely and sweetly say “do you remember me” but alas he did tweet me “it was great to see me” THE NEXT MORNING

i deleted my twitter tho (not the next morning)

(i remember when i quit facebook because trent reznor did)

(i remember the feeling when Trent approved me into his 5k friends list and i never needed to ask)

it only took him 6 months to approve cuz he was off making babies? but he knew my name from the old NIN message boards, where he use to roam, and i asked him to marry me when i was 16

HE DID NOT SAY NO

he was flattered and answered my actual musical questions

i just needed to know if he would marry me first

i remember when he returned to facebook but not really so i did too

NO I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH TRENT REZNOR

YES I COULD POTENTIALLY CRY IF I EVER MET HIM

NO I DO NOT WORSHIP ANY FALSE IDOLS OR GODS

he has YELLOW FEVER AND I ALMOST HATE HIM

plus i am GEN X – the most dangy genny yep

you fucked up when you took my voice and now you wanna take my guns

YOU THINK THAT IS AIR YOU ARE BREATHING NOW

she wants to come here, i want to go there (in my best Beetljuice voice)

“i want out, you wanna get me out”

yes i do

(just in case you are confused, i kinda fell for my neighbor who probably would fall for my best friend)

neither one of them are obsolete

i am overcoming the worst migraine

THE DEVIL CAN GET FUCKED

i have not been doing much of anything but trying to not die

i wish the neighbors knew how important that was

im sure they (the milkinials) think i am lazy

just barely alive

at the expense of all the other gens

Posted on August 12, 2024 by poeeternal

sirens

thought you heard the sirens
and the cries and the guns
thought you saw the lions
the way you run

i lost everything
my uniforms
my mind
a good amount of time

welcome back
you’re gone
the welcome mat
was wrong

alright see you later
don’t mean to be a hater

250 million light years wide
and we’re all inside

i’m not perfect
most would say not worth it
they do what they want
they go but they haunt

am i a fault line running under your pipes
did they burst tonight
is my worst in sight?

baby you are forever
like the sun and the weather

cold cold cold
direction that you go
maybe it’s an echo
a frozen code

did i burn the only bridge we had again?
oh no
the fallen
can’t even trust myself
let alone dress myself?

oh no
the cold is cold

how does a rose get a thorn
i was lost when I was born?

i need ropes to climb your gully
but i need to hurry

i never promised anything
except the lies that were broken
i don’t love you
just like we’re joking

lying with intent
i meant every word of it

i haz bday this month. why did you leave me 😦

Posted on July 30, 2024July 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

push

i never wanted to push you out into the current
but you would yell, it’s what you warrant
and you held my hand as i pushed you towards the torrent
you would say “love’s not important”

i hope your ashes are burning. like a viking in the sky. down here i am rarely learning. like i’ve lost my mind.

I absolutely do have a learning disability.

Then it’s like my IQ can only go so far until you arrive at a secure door without a door knob

like those server rooms

where they spy on us and control time

none of this is real

“there is no spoon”

because they’re trying to condition us to believe in the Multiverse theory so that they can further segregate you from God and make you feel like you don’t have any kind of worth or value because they’re fucking nihilist at their fucking core and they believe in anything dark and that’s what they fucking serve like dark holes, dark galaxies, dark suns, dark matter, SHIT YOU CANNOT SEE, nor measure, “we just know” – cuz they are a cult of godless psychopaths who love love love children and making them believe early on – we are born in theta – that God does not exist – that he himself is a god – but an artificial intelligence

“computers feel things”

that way you can love your precious young AI like the pedophiles you are

you would rather imprint and love a fucking computer

this entire society is one nihilistic web

“God isn’t real” you demand as you force your dark void propaganda on me

HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME

STAY OUT OF MY FAITH YOU FUCKING SOULESS MONSTER

I’LL BITE YER DICK OFF NO REMORSE

FEED IT TO SHARKY WHILE I AM DISASSOCIATING

ARE THESE WHAT FANTASIES ARE MEANT TO LOOK LIKE

I don’t know what’s going on out there because I have stayed off anybody’s blog that I do not follow or where I feel unwanted?

this applies to 99.5% of my screen time

I wish I could write without consequence?

~~seeking a friend for~~ the end of the world

Posted on June 22, 2024June 22, 2024 by poeeternal

In Thought (p∞)

i only see myself inverted
like looking at shattered glass
or porcelain on the bloody grass
it’s not important

do the follows matter
like seeping into hollow ground
where the sun is rarely around
your feet are with her

does the sun know i’m dying
feel connected to his pulse
but i make him drive reverse
like galaxies colliding

tonight we dine together
on separate continents
moon lit with regrets
cuz in thought is better?

i’d drag sorrow all the way down to the bottom of the Titanic
cuz pressure I couldn’t handle it
like my broken spirit
i don’t know that it’s a habit

do you miss me love
do you know why i caved
carrying my cross
so heavy couldn’t be saved

do you know what i lost
feeling astray
feet calloused with frost
more night than day

do you love me still
marching toward freewill
gaining speed downhill
yelling “blood will spill”

no reason left to hide
pulled your thorn from side
deemed the earth my bride
one warrior crucified

why do i come and go
like the strange night
followed by the daylight
why do you fold?

Geo,

I need to talk to you
like thoughts that are wind chimes
or sands through the hourglass
midnight meetings in the alley fast

my dreams are a spiraling galaxy
way up in the heavens where you don’t care my sins of past

what was his name
the one bringing thunder
when lightening came
like joy flowing under
when it was clearly rain

thank you for reading my lines -xo

Posted on June 14, 2024June 14, 2024 by poeeternal

Well Enough (p∞)

You must be settled nicely on your throne?
But you couldn’t leave well enough alone?

Have you calmed down from the torrential storms you bring
i was a child dancing near your flowing spring
i am innocence and pain
chaos in the gentle rain

did you know you could stop me in my track
make me forget my thought and that?

you’re a fast car speeding away
like a scene from a crime
did i disappear from mind
or only your review
was that even you?

The ones who say they want to be friends with me don’t and the ones who act like they love me won’t

i must be a non-playable character in my own game
or i’m living in Purgatory and i’ve gone insane

Am I the wrong aesthetic
marching to my own beat
out of tune
am i pathetic?

ashes ashes
we tumble down
a coming crisis
fast burning crown

i scared him
the way lightening can strike twice in the same place
or an angel invading your personal space

did you have to speed away so quickly
made me feel sickly

they come on strong like the wind
carry your kite high
blow rocks in your eye
make you laugh or cry

spun out
don’t give a crap

ghosted for sure
can’t make friends with the mailman
they always wanting more

Their love for me is waning like a moon
as swiftly as a typhoon
i don’t know how to read a room
my feet spell doom

the way he took a mental picture
i hope it fades
cuz memories don’t last forever
nor does his gaze

they’re so settled in their lives
with their choices and their wives?

you come on heavy trodden
make me lose step
a life i’ve forgotten
where i want to build a garden

why did you fall
like sand through an hour glass
it was moving fast

i was the wonder you found at the end of the road?
a wandering intrusion
hard to watch me go?
the direction of confusion

the hubris
lose it
it’s fucking useless

speed off my king
ride off into the morning
like you’re never looking back
like you never saw me coming

postscript: i create entire scenarios in my head that are not based on reality. please do not take my imagination as fact.

is it okay to write? maybe i should just journal instead? quietly? to myself? be seen and not heard?

i ain’t trying to get married or anything – or ask anyone on a date 😉

i just need a break from detoxing, packing, and cleaning

just basically freaking out in general

remind me the velocity needed to escape an object in motion

the event horizon

some people have the most kinetic energy gaaaaaaa damn

i ain’t getting stuck in the 7th level of hell for seven years again

i know i’m kinda intense but harmless when i come around

I literally try to not make eye contact with people and just buy what I need

there’s just no where to put the love

but so many places to hate

i think Well Enough would be my name in the Matrix

i have two or three code names now

i forget

maybe i should stop writing?

yeah i don’t know how to fix this

I cannot set it as a parent page and if it’s the homepage then you don’t have access to my posts

i’m pretty certain i write under a pen 🙂

i ain’t trying to get married 🙂

i usually do not share my energy with others

i usually do not smile 🙂

everything is gonna be okay, calm down, i keep telling myself 🙂

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed. – Carl Jung

are you in love with a prostitute honey? cuz according to studies over 51% are

so i do not bother with men anymore

i don’t want to be your fleshlight

So tired of the intrusive pop-ups like low battery when I’m in the middle of fucking writing

or when you want to scroll and a pop up stops you

or you spend 15 seconds on a website and cannot view what you want cuz surprise! a pop up!

give mah your money, give mah your email!

we want to sell your data!!!!!!

I didn’t realize buying a pizza from Papa John’s was going to create so much havoc in my life years later but here we are

so very tired…

I’m sorry the last mental picture you had of me was in my house shoes but my back was hurting

🙂

she’s lucky she can call or have her treats cut into pieces by you

🙂

i just needed an ashtray

And lighters since the store has been out for two fucking months

And you kept making me forget the things I need 🙂

it was Friday, i wanted out of the moldy house

i wanted those treats 🙂

but then a fast car was speeding off

and then courage turned to doubt but i still got my ashtray and travel treats 🙂

my new setup is complete for the new space 🙂

I hope I put myself in less embarrassing situations where I’m going 🙂

you were the first person I gave my pen to in this shithole

I like to stay anonymous

Posted on June 14, 2024 by poeeternal

Weave (p∞)

i never learned to weave
i never learned to fucking leave
i never really see
even though everything is coming quickly at me

i grew up in an attic with my invisible friends: “who is she talking to”

the way they conjure together and sneer when they think they know something different than you

i know what I’m trying to say i just don’t know how to say it

I’M DONE BUYING SHIT.

also me:

but seriously, i’m looking for land now

i don’t want to settle in

i wanna be a landowner

i have fucking goals

maybe cross the street and see the ocean since surprise! i live beachside!

but i havent even had a shower

im still detoxing too

fun

so the last memory i gave him of me was me in my houseshoes

at least i had had a bath and tidied up

i needed a break from packing and my back hurt less in those slippers

they did not make the move

i just wanted to wear them one last time before i tossed them

don’t normally wear houseshoes out ha but anything goes

he’ll prob never think on me again and here i worry he saw me in my cinderella slippers

oops

anyway

i’ll stop talking about the event soon

it’s rare a guy makes my knees fucking weak, but it was my whole body euphoria

and like….this was real time

i suddenly had the same problem that robot on mars does

i forgot what i came in for…

Posted on May 30, 2024 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Oblivion

some deserve my wrath
my fist into their back
a kiss and that
sometimes i laugh

look at what your gods have done
you worship all and no one
look in the mirror son
trains run through oblivion

DO NOT OPEN
on log written
with blood and stencil
and mud or pencil

i’m not allowed to follow and you know I would if I could
but the ground would shake under us and you would lose foot

the avalanche is coming down the road im traveling
so now im shoveling
sins so heavy they are troubling

historic torrents
pushing forth like

the dam overflowing
feet feel slow yet running
what are we towing?

our lost destiny?
6th mass extinction; we’re dying!

the winds are reversing the tides
one-up we tried

rainbows form from heaven
sins i’ve counted seven
seals are broken
in pieces eleven

cry angel
her eyes are brown or hazel?
sadness stamped her label
broken wings she’ll cradle

or sinning like i’m Abel
was it just a fable?
can you build a table?

i like them round
where wildlife is found

not in the city
cannot leave a pity

killed one but let the other live, i cannot know a thing

“don’t come around here”

“i told yah”

it’s definitely hormonal though because some days I’m willing to fight and other days I’m willing to fucking create

The problem is most people are destroying faster than things can create because nihilism is rampant

and if stats are 3 to 5 people have an STD we can assume that they are sterilized and unable to have any children

Sterilization is happening in so many different ways though

as long as the rich can continue ivf abominations

if you’re offended it’s not my problem

you can continue to shadow ban me but every checkmark page that shows up on my fucking profile I’m gonna block it

any time i get a penalty for anything – BLOCKFEST

using a favorite song but getting an “unoriginal video removal penalty” – bye bye band – BLOCKY

i can keep going because I block people just looking at FYP videos and reading comments that have nothing to do with me or the creators video

even with the shadowbans and blocking sprees, i’ve somehow managed to linger around 5k on the potential tiktok ban

fighting for my life still so making content is not priority number one

recently i reached out to an old schoolmate and then i casually blocked them

i wasn’t trying to get back into their life

just having revelations

“like remember that time you stoned me”

need a sling and rock me thinks

moving into that portion of the Bible/Matrix

when they take on the giants/ mr smith

“got any weapons on you”

the cop telling me i need to take a walk to cool off

honey, you need to take a walk to lose some of that fat

he’s a fucking cop and I’m dying and I make better attempts at keeping up with my health than he does

i’m on the damn MRI table sitting in a hospital gown that’s 100 times my size too big and telling the doctor I’m not “marriage material” and he’s like “what? well if you think it’s your looks it’s not that…”

my damn mechanic thinks i’m fit

like no

my back arms are jelly

i need to work on my triceps and my booty gains and i’m not getting to do anything but try to fucking not have my throat close up on me in this fucking toxic environment

And do I just pay the rent or do I go through all the legal fucking bullshit to tell the landlord fuck you you ain’t get another dime from me?

The headache and stress involved in doing this and also trying to quit ~~weed~~ medicinal again at the same time and moving on my own and just everything

I already turned in my notice to vacate and I did send out the certified stuff

this place is a dump and the law is on my side – but there are obstacles and headaches involved – they make it so – the librarian even pointed it out “The forms the landlord needs are easy to find and accessible but not the tenants” (cuz i was embarrassed i could not do a simple task)

He would send a cease and desist to stop the eviction process and im gone anyway he said

“dont pay june rent – ride it out until xyz”

im ready to post reviews and give one star ratings

“if you like living with cockroaches, mold, and crime, where half the amenities posted online are nonworking and the slumlords gaslight you daily, you found the right space…”

“see piccys”

the blm community have children and teenagers stealing packages and banging on doors

CALLING A SPADE A SPADE

30% of the crime 90% of the time

PLEASE TURN ANOTHER CHEEK

Posted on May 24, 2024May 24, 2024 by poeeternal

Roll Call Gen X

i like to eye-roll
keep my tank low

like the ground i trowel
i dig around
come up underground

i’m burning closets
banking deposits
lost my mind not worth it

i’m working
losing like a winner
God says i’m a sinner
my grave thinner

lawyer giving me his clauses
demanding my tongue pauses
i’m not flawless

but call me a priest
need an exorcism i think
foot on ledge
my soul at breach

his wings were stolen
carry them like i’m swollen –
swords polished and golden

hold on then…

postscript with poetry:

maybe Gen X are the David and Goliath tragedy

all of Gen X represent David and globalism obviously Goliath (society)

Goliath / I spieth / aim my eyes higher / my tongue not quiet / sails set to the sun/ time to riot\

iPoet

any recommendations for a tablet or computer? drop them below

“please buy my product full of bloatware” “see if i care”

we’re eating cereal! i like my dinner with poison. why are you choking?

no hope here / just a mangled boat dear

storm on horizon / take it on Poseidon / the strength i’m havin

🙂

also me: heart > brain > lung injury

yet i still breathe

JUST NEED A MINUTE TO SAY I LOVE YOU GOD

yeah yeah yeah

i think the mold was driving me into the brink of madness – i mean, i found myself wrapped up in a shower curtain screaming in agony for probably six hours of least

neighbors heard me lose my mind

i live with a disease called depression

but i ain’t jumping on the nihilism deathtrain

i don’t need any help dying

i need to stop trying

but there’s a lot of crying

i just want some place to die in peace and quiet

in maybe 65 years

that is only 110 tho

let’s go 111

wow oh wow how lovely

maybe undersold myself

damn

one can have goals

i mean, i’m nearly halfway there and one foot in the grave

a girl can dream

right now i would like to go one day without coughing

doc wants another CT scan

you know, at infectious diesease

where staff treat you like a plague

(well not them, just the idiots everywhere else)

cuz i’m half zombie

i took identifying as goth a little too far

i just wanna move somewhere with clean air and enjoy my black box

hope John Jones still on my back

yeps

the way he wanted fresh air again

he just wanted to get back to his life

“i hate it here”

same

just some freestyle through the phone

3 weeks until new home

clinging on

i made some grave mistakes getting the Moderna vaccine

there better not be any waivers to sign getting into heaven

they took away the avatar but i downloaded the video but it looks like shit

what you’re still here? love and miss you

Posted on May 21, 2024May 21, 2024 by poeeternal

Guns and Bible (p∞)

guns and bible
sins that rival
winds I travel
wings like gravel

packy packy / trigger happy

guns and silver / ways I quiver

spoken word: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRK8C3eT/

Posted on May 10, 2024May 18, 2024 by poeeternal

Golden Rays

you appeared like golden rays
living through trials and tribulations – for seven years not days
trudging through purgatory
your pages tell a different story

only acts of service
like locking the door
cleaning your blood from the floor

or driving over silences
growing flowers through the crevices
bullets lining the habits lived

quietly tipping over areas lit
treat the darkness like my shadow did
guess i love you just a little bit

the way you looked at me like the eclipse
is there any man that ever did do this

imagination as big as the universe
caught a glimpse when i saw you first
but time stood still

cuz God needs time to rest
i make him restless
question his own test
wounded by love

still thinking of
like turning sunsets

purple yellow gold
found the rainbow
tucked below your soul

and where i’m circling
in dream and suffering
prayers answered daily
falling from sky lately
mercy come to save me

but skies are grey
i’m not okay
pulling shoe to lace
charms knives mixed with mace

a pretty killer
deadly is a thriller
but no match to grace
wings are full of bitter

a spicy angel
or call me child
mouth is running wild
won’t watch me linger

like buildings burning down
the blood drips from my crown
but i’m no liar
cuz two plus two is fire

my location is lost
don’t fear the locust
cleaning up the rust
mold i cleared the most

with curses and firestorms
my wrath is fullform
wish he hadn’t been born

blames me for existence
loves me wish he didn’t
won’t confess he’s smitten

deny me once
won’t deny me again
let me walk away
now twice he hid

let’s pull up a chair
pretend we both don’t care
“i’m never there”

burn me in my back
turn my cheek and that
kiss me on my way
give me bitten apple
words i cannot grapple
or mind with a haze

now the cards have shifted
a child but still i’m gifted
a life i’ve never liven
i’m fucking livid

mark the wall with GENX

on hold
like a pot of gold
still climbing tho
got a ways to go

stop to enjoy sun
cry for what i’ve done
bear not what i fear
brother missing here

like a call coming from inside the house
but i’m a big mouth
i will call you out
my lips will flap

*sneak peek cuz i wanna wait to open it at the new place*

the black box came with a black card inside

and a poem… which needs a frame and candle or maybe put in a scrapbook – a fun gothic type scrapbook

with old pages tied together with twigs

(im a witch)

i got box 36. my lucky numbers.

🙂

it feels very luxury for the price

i accidentally did the annual subscription

locked in for the season

3 more coming and i will fully open this one in 30ish days (maybe)

(it just arrived)

(i packed it up)

they threatened eviction
the devil bit his own tail
i’m speaking with a lawyer now

they can eat dust
i will watch the sunrise turn them into rust

got in trouble
for not crossing my T
or dotting my I
it didn’t keep me up at night
i didn’t even cry

my most recent live brought in nearly 10k viewers and i got banned temporally

how can i assist you?
turn around and dismiss you?

i’m missing vanity
you got plenty

people are saying it is gristle
put it in a skillet it will sizzle
give it a sniffle
i feel sick though

Nothing works here
Except my fears
Multiplied by seven
I’m counting years

went to hide
but almost did follow
i stumbled low
i guess i’m hollow
then again i don’t know
why you never did wallow
where my crown lies?

i have a growing disdain for anything Apple

now others do too

the forbidden bitten fruit

im aware wars and fires are everywhere

im aware of people dying

i nearly lost my life

i lost my dad and sister

im ready for the poolside

im done fighting wars

but dare not aim your fight at me

Posted on April 26, 2024 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

some lines (not limes) (p∞)

why do i need to download an app to view my reservation
like getting you to call, i lose motivation

slightly panicked
full throttle
at 55 mph
i’m likely to rattle
packed to the toe
and ready for battle
tho not looking so

i’d like to take them out at the bus stop
one by one hear their brain pop
splat splat splat
“whose kid is that?”

what happened to you
you’re irregular
a leaping liar
act like you don’t care for her

are boomers reaping what they sow
losing my affection
but maybe im just a little slow?

trust no one!
look in the mirror hun!

dearly deceased,
miss me the least?
cuz hell is a party!
that’s what Elon thinks!

nothing had any value
he could buy it all

no signal
100 meters down below his fingers
still there i linger
hoping for a second call

oof

i tried to fix it
but it didn’t fix
maybe if i give it another push or two
give it a kick
or pull it just like this

it started with my father
the sins of the father
and forgiveness?
i never bother

dying turns out to be tax efficient
got you wishing something you didn’t

finding the dead and missing
in your basement dolls are kissing

you won’t let the dead rest
you fucking nihilist

i fucking hate you
worry about why i would’t break you
gotta fake too

can you let the Happiness Engineer know i ain’t happy
in case he’s sitting around the office laughing

he won’t deny his innocence
he won’t admit he’s innocent
he says i am angel sent

arms and torsos are showing up at the beach
and he is mean
to keep me far from reach

the round gardens are oval

maybe it was bourbon
maybe it was burden

squirrel is defo my spirit animal for sure sure

“don’t do anything that makes you nervous but if you are already doing something don’t be nervous” – advice from David at U-Haul

Posted on April 19, 2024April 19, 2024 by poeeternal

gallows (p∞)

time to build the gallows
i walk in sun and shadows
docked head to toe
with guns and arrows
they aren’t my foes

shadowbans are real and so is my wrath

Posted on April 18, 2024 by poeeternal

a years worth (p∞)

you are a years worth of rain
falling on my back
like the empathy you lack

i turned in my notice to vacate today.

them: “this isn’t the reason you are leaving”

me: “i think i know why i am leaving”

them: “not because of this, you bought a house”

(i said i was approved for a home loan and starting the search process)

(i had hoped to finish my sentence here and buy)

(this was a couple months ago)

(today however)

me: “no i’m leaving because of the mold and crime”

them cutting me off: “even though we are working on it”

me: “don’t stop the work order tomorrow, just because i am turning in my notice”

them: “this has nothing to do with that”

me: i’m leaving cuz the cop told me to move and my doctor told me to leave the environment”

“i signed a new lease”

them: looks suspicious (even tho the forwarding address is on the form)

(and i did not bring up the 5% i am losing on top of having to vacate because of the mold)

and i still can’t run the air. so fixed what? i’m done submitting service requests about mold that they think is “dirt”

i need air that isn’t toxic to breathe

the doc and cop said “move”.

but the slumlord wanna argue the reason on my form i am vacating this dump

image

or maybe karma for accusing you

only i know you were writing poems for another

but also for me

so we’re both right technically

i ain’t wrong

you ain’t wrong

not really kinda

but like, i know why i am vacating this rundown shittown for an updated unit in another timezone far from here

and it ain’t buying… yet

wish we could “rent to own” but without the bullshit

anyhoo, slumlord always up my ass

and im losing a lot of money relocating

and the irs rejected my return

it wasnt even my fault

it was the AI

and for the first time ever it was rejected

and now im waiting in purgatory

for another rejection?

cuz why is it taking so long?

and fuck hnr block for “no discounts this late”

well no use of your company ever again

fucking die

55 days until my big break from this black hole

i thought i was at a 59 day notice (“60 day”)

but june 12th is closer than that

so glad i got a head start on packing

my remaining table chairs and stools are donated – she takes them soon –

i have to rent a mini thingy cuz i bought too many clothes

and while i am willing to part with some

im renting what i need

to take my toys and plushy

cuz im insane

welp. speaking of the devil

i fixed the mistake the AI made and rolled with it

look what just arrived as i was typing about said thing

phew. lord almighty.

thank you jesus

i just got my lost rent money back

breaking even with this new hand

will feel better when im at the new location

in nearly 54 days

new city, new town

new air to breathe

updates

a tiny space to manage

no more 2 bedroom 2 full bath

getting a balcony tho (but it is a porch, im ground)

i chose ground

i chose building c

cuz it came with washer/dryer hookups

i also signed the paperwork for my dad today

cuz he decided to die and leave me a forturne

well maybe not a fortune

but remember the double rainbow when he died?

well his estate has been in the courts

but a decision was made during the eclipse

and the waiver sent and signed

and now i have *insert pot of gold here* coming to me

it was split between me and my sis

but he had 4 daughters technically

2 blood and 2 adopted

i was the adopted

there’s drama

cuz dad left stuff to two and only two

and split it equally between her and i

and i plan to buy some land

but does the irs tax that?

i think they do but my daughter says “that is fucked up”

but u gotta report it

and it will put me in a diff bracket

potentially

does it take people dying to come back to life?

everything fell apart at once

and now everything is coming together?

need to get to plan B first

pensacola

Posted on April 12, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

the woods (p∞)

not out of the neck of the woods
yet…
you said under woven stars
mixed with metaphors and scars
you wouldn’t be far –
but i’d never ever reach you
heaven is beneath you
like a glass jar mixed with marbles and gold bars
you see everything that i do
upside down entangled view
dolls and stars now old guards

No filter (i sat in the sun too long too many times but not enough)

postscript?

my return has been sent!
didn’t cost you a cent!

i dunno why. been wanting to do same word rhyme – same word but not…

he is trying to make it to 13 but some days i’m not sure he’ll make it through the day

Posted on April 11, 2024 by poeeternal

from bad to worse (p∞)

smooth passageways
the terrain was hostile
still i climbed down

when you go from a bad place
to a better place
you go to a worse place first
“from bad to worse”

“i look forward to being arrested”
she contested

lines will be drawn or written
he says he hates me cuz he’s smitten
i lie like a kitten
soft and rarely hidden

the steel crumbled
like you and me
too little too late
concrete at the gate

i returned
to see who you follow
no apologies
cuz you are hollow
like a rotten tree

is that the shadow of the moon blocking the sun?
but you can’t forgive what we’ve done?
but why are the clouds so close to my smoking gun?

like walking through a sea of foam
covered all over your home
we walk alone

something is afoot
but not adrift
i’m lost i admit

the glass is smashed
i’m coming last
like a homerun, my wrath is fast

the sheep are nestled in the ruins
the moon is soothing
50 foot swells are brewing

she’s the worst kind
need hill or mountain
just to climb

air into lungs
before you lose your mind
she is mine

it’s like you and i are chasing a rogue planet
chipping away at nihilism like granite
and you’re collecting names of everyone i yell “look whose done it”

i don’t wanna come back as a cockroach
that’s a big nope

i promise you
it’s always regret
those final moments
drawing last breath

were the FBI the cleanup crew?
would you draw a gun on me, if to your land i flew?

never go head first into a body of water
or down in a cave, where you’re wishing there’s some vodka

more elementary poetry incoming in unknown intervals!

Posted on April 8, 2024 by poeeternal

safety (p∞)

far from the safety of the surface
all stones unturned
down here no service
lessons go unlearned
no hope, no purpose
his favorite sum?

ps.

i write most my stuff too quickly and release it even sooner

if by release we mean stuffing it in a bottle and tossing it in the sea

my blog is still an SOS

i say this cuz the last line was changed: his favorite sum? but God knows we yearned? his favorite sum

i dunno

i can’t decide

but im not in the mood to changing the rhyme scheme

it is now 2:11

before tho

numbers in what kind of order?

heavenly bodies?

messages from another dimension?

am i talking to myself?

is there another me sending code i cannot decipher?

Decipher would make an excellent name for me in the Matrix?

“so they sent you huh”

“yeah to stand guard”

“so youre not gonna break the code”

“ah no, that ain’t my lane”

“the only thing im good at breaking is skulls”

*locks and loads*

does TikTok know that Soldiers are trained to kill?

What about Mark Z?

who is married to you know who

why do all the ones in power have an Asian next to them?

even gross ass HollyWood actors have them an Asian on their side

like what

am i the only one awake without yellow fever?

cuz im so sick of “made in china” the library offer free sewing lessons

and im very tempted to go rogue until i find a home for these aching dying living bones

start over in a new city

ive let go of everything except my pen

i need to trademark her

i dont make a dime

but so many people have stolen variations of my name – and even my content

they are doing well

my best friend blew her brains out on April 7th, 1993.

with a 357 magnum that had a deer scope

i was 13

i aint ever been the same

im trying not to die

but everything is trying to kill me

including the air i breathe

and so ima be dramatic

i just hope less psycho like when i did on my blog cuz clearly i was being possessed

not just by sugar (mold’s favorite)

but big pharma

the food and water

i dunno

maybe forgive me?

but it is hard to forgive myself for anything

so i understand you never wanna speak to me again

it’s just not what i want or wish

but i crawled into this moldy trap didn’t i?

and no one is coming to save me?

no one is even gonna show me the way?

i don’t know what the universe is trying to say?

or me? or God?

i don’t even understand how you could be so cruel?

now im crying

but im always crying

prob my period

not gross at all

just life for certain female species

i get lost in digits and time

i did acid and played cards once

ive seen things

i dont want to show a picture of me right now

Posted on April 7, 2024 by poeeternal

ghosting the ghosted

did i coin it?

going in some lines soon?

it just keeps happening boo

could you look into what it means?

ghosting the ghosted – coming soon

boys spend money on hookers and blow

“keep your eye on the toys Annie, you know about toys”

so im out here buying guns and toys

and that cute crop top under $19

and i no longer watch tv – might as well wear clothing of band tees i care not about

like i lost my identity with music or stuff

you should be impressed im a total fucking mess

wrapped up in agony

wear heart on sleeve

but thesleeve is cute no?

should i start watching sailor moon cartoons?

or am i allowed to just enjoy the art?

and the cuddles with the like the pusheen plushy?

the movie is a map

it imprinted on me

and i am Annie crying on a busy street

“keep your eye on the toys” – so that’s what im gonna do

i take my advice from old Hollywood films now

and music from the 90s is still a calling card

a good way to reach me

i rarely turn on the radio but now when i do sometimes my sister is sending me messages

or it could be guilt eating me alive cuz she died?

and my mother had made it very clear and apparent that she is mad i did not go visit her in the hospital

– even tho i was dying from the vaccine

i was having major problems with my heart even tho they waited until i was having minor problems with my heart to puta wire on but even then they found problems with my heart – and any minor problem is major when you are only in your 40s and now dying and your sister is too?

but i got a boomer mom

and a half sister still alive who was triple vaccinated and boosted but still got covid but “is fine” (she is Gen Y) (i cant wake my family up and some of them have died)

so im working with infectious disease now

(mold will fucking destroy your life)

(it’s not dust)

(cleanitsoitdoesntturnevil)

(my shit has defo been hacked)

anyhoo – at least japan la sell officially licensed products

got some stationary to never write in and give away in 20 years cuz i horde?

but i like bootlegs too

and thats my box of prob unofficially licensed shit coming

sue me

Posted on April 3, 2024April 3, 2024 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

misread (p∞)

we’re moving over uncharted territory
the same ole story
they will say is new
with a map or two
said sky was green
know a different thing
they’re bringing out candy and guns
feels like a witch hunt
but i misread a room
smiling when there’s gloom
not good at pretense
focus on lament

Posted on April 3, 2024 by poeeternal

wiggle (p∞)

i know you’re there
but i don’t have any proof
i’d get lost in my own lair
trying to wiggle out the truth

more elementary poetry incoming maybe

(trying to avoid having the cops called on me)

(cuz absolutely would propose or ask if anyone was available in the unit)

(if he responds “i am married” then that does not mean “no” but that he would have taken me to coffee and the courthouse asap to make things official and whatnot…

“so how did you two meet…”

“…i was on a call”

“…i was being bad”

so i’m trying to avoid that scenario (for now)

a few months shy of 13

SAME

Posted on March 30, 2024 by poeeternal

egg hunt (p♾)️

easter egg hunt
in the graveyard
it’s the apocalypse
we play hard

Posted on March 23, 2024March 23, 2024 by poeeternal

homes for sale (poem)

apology accepted
access denied
a little white lie?

comes as is
with rotting wood and corpses
a hidden corset?

underneath the dirty rugs
are many worms and secrets
cuz swamp has a grievance?

zip codes from hell
closed closets and backdoors with rifles
the air it stifles?

paying for my sins still i guess

but i ain’t paying for theirs

Boomers are a monopoly (who hold most of House)

so since im near homeless i can take over a vaca home on the cliffs and after 30 days it’s mine?

cuz like that was one of the top rated agencies to buy a home through

im just trying to figure out how it went all wrong

i spent weeks looking over everything

he took me to see THAT?

fucking waste my time

enjoy your jaguar SUV and sweet dreams

im sure you rest easy at night

fucking demon

Posted on March 22, 2024March 22, 2024 by poeeternal

l-o-v-e (poem 02) (p02)?

i love you more than all the heavens combined
we move like the wind
but hell won’t change my mind
like crossing roads
we’re entwined?
entanglement?
weren’t you heaven sent?

i remember when i could just copy/paste and now i press and hold and maybe it’ll work after two or three tries

tired of running around chasing my tail while the art of china destroys/builds everything

also me: “there is someone, i just haven’t met them yet…”

*cries on busy public street broad daylight*

they don’t make movies like they once did.

or they do find each other, just TOO LATE

*sadface*

would let him “assist me” to the other side

i hope getting a house with a garden will give me a life worth living

or at least a unit without any crime, cockroaches or mold

i know i’m asking for a lot, since the boomers and gen y have it all

Posted on March 7, 2024 by poeeternal

LOL (trigger warning?)

2019 was the year huh

2024 i leave everyone on read (the insomnia coach says i need to see a provider) (and there is an upcoming appointment cuz God needs me to see him again!?!) (is it him!?!) (what sort of Romeo/Joolie delusional fantasy have i found myself in exactly)

no one is – nor has – nor potentially ever – will do anything inappropriate (hence la la land)

but you know if looks could kill

looks can also have a “slow the atoms down in the room and shoot to heaven” vibe too

i mean, i don’t know how to read a room (or computer screen)

but he imprinted on me and apparently i have lost many months and/or years dreaming about him

would’ve been nice if we could’ve met on a conference call, or in any other way than me over here on the other side

nearly wearing a fucking straightjacket

welp

help. still in hell. *sadface*

i’m not in / this isn’t happening

SAME

p.s. i have been trying to write a letter to myself of “what I would say to myself if I could call myself and speak to myself for one minute”

like your future self could call your past self from a decade ago (that is ten years right)

i tried to put it in a poem

it isn’t going very well

don’t hang up it’s me
i’m dying
find a tree
and hang freely

Posted on February 22, 2024February 22, 2024 by poeeternal

crush

does he hold me hostage in his mind?
is that why i cannot escape his presence in my living dream?
he has touched me in places i have never seen
majestic sunrises with his hands wrapped around my thighs
he turns my low to highs

the devil lives three doors down
i got his number
unholy ghost in town
and i still can’t slumber

is that you
shining light in my path

just a crush?
you spin the earth
like heaven
i can feel the rush
but time ain’t changing near you
my cheeks turn rosy
got a royal flush?

you must be the warmest place in the solar system
you must be a taste of the life i am missing
i walk around a zombie hissing
but in my dreams we’re kissing

got a reason to live, even if delusional and not in sync with reality

but i’ve been dying – and you likely won’t find that in my file folder – but i have also been praying, that i could just “see” my soulmate “one time”

and i only got a minute before everything went blurry – but time stood still

i think i might have loved him instantly

i think i may love him now

everything is so fucked up

it was like my life was flashing before my eyes – and now my dreams are everything i’ve lost

and have you seen me? no many would ever find value in me.

still. i have never had any man look at me or touch me or move me the way he does – both in dream or reality.

the man could have been frightened but im dreaming of making babies with him

i have zero worth im aware

but we can’t help who we love, right?

he gives me the most beautiful dreams

God said alright you got a minute

i really hope he’s happy

whatever life he has chose to live

do we collide in each others dreams? cuz they feel real

plot twist: patient falls in love with doctor

oh well

Posted on February 22, 2024 by poeeternal

oh by the way…

oh by the way
i wanted to say
fuck you
for thinking there are clouds
above you

positioned in the sky
to charm you

like everything belongs to you
like everyone’s below
your feet too

i do beseech you
take a seat
or look in the rearview

the nihilism you do
a comet
come to split the air in two

oh by the way
fuck you
for the endless dreams
that I do

Posted on January 16, 2024January 16, 2024 by poeeternal

portals

i sometimes think of george

the way clouds appear large and exciting

bringing redemption in the air

i sometimes see george like jesus

or maybe he put him there

he took my breath away and replaced it with new lungs

i can’t explain how time paused

the way him and I would stare

how unfair; people come into our lives only to move mountains and disappear

sometimes god feels everywhere

which makes moral decay a plant growing in the moonlight

i can feel ego slip into non-existence

but not despair

it’s a falsity to say he won’t hold your hand in hell

i’ve barred my door shut and clawed the walls with no entry marks

“none who may enter is trusted including self”

mirrors hold energy like portals to regrets

i told him “i don’t want to die” while pulling out my hair

“all i see are demons”

“i don’t want to be put away”

i looked at him like a stray

faith is looking into his eyes and seeing a great creator

i was just a whore

before him

starving without bread

humility is feeling too dirty for a cleansing

putting signs up “god not allowed”

yelling from its tunnels

“haven’t I made you proud”

can’t undo the dying

blood covered shroud

tongue swollen

couldn’t figure it out

abandon hope fully

death like a pulley

with no air to shout

“no hope coming” – letters on a doorway mat

might as well put up a plaque

people say “she went missing”

god as her witness

george is the gentle rain

i was hungry and i was starving

and he took time to wash my feet

i swear i saw rainbows beneath him

he was the pot of gold

not to be taken

he was the dream you want to remember when awakened

i sometimes think of george on dark moonless nights

i sometimes think of george

we knew each other in a different time and place – in this one – his hand it came with grace

photo stolen from the web – from someone who stole it from the web – from someone who stole it from the web… so i dunno who took it – but dead folks things for sale !

my blog is still advert free

psst… i ❤️ ipsy

some men move mountains to change your life and you’ll never see them again

Posted on January 3, 2024 by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Hell is eternity, we’ll start right here

i can’t remember the date
only the importance
but even that is a shadow of reality

i remember running here
like a vulture finding hope on a living rotting man

“what are you doing”, I laughed with a subtle yet firm disapproval of his organized nihilism

the devil has been so busy sweeping out the cobwebs

he forgot there’s an army of 144,000 coming after his head

maybe it’s night sweats or die-off symptoms

from a life I’ve lived before

– and it was nothing worth dying on the sword

your gift wasn’t returned with hastened shame
but set on a shelf like a golden statue

next to all the broken promises and lies I’ve given myself

I came but I did not conquer
maybe that was the goal after all

but didn’t your eyes lure me like candy

even in my nightmares, I can feel you there

oh holy hell

if he could see things without his rose-tinted cgi filters

he could see that I am everywhere

the fertile soil

the molten lava

endless possibilities

but he keeps betting on his numbers

his dying slumbers

and rest he’ll never have

i don’t know how to make a good blog post. i don’t know how to get any additional pages to ‘appear’. and I’m sure I’m being punished for trying to figure shit out and openly talk about it but wordpress’s solution or “the happiness engineers” is to pay them $500 to build me a blog but I’ll need to upgrade to a business plan m’kay

i think not tho

Julian Date 24003: freestyle 02.

Posted on December 28, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Kill Switch

i know you’re there
i can feel your shadow watching
i’m always awake
my finger is a kill switch
my divine purpose
maybe i’m not a soldier yet
until i get my finger wet
wrapped around your dying neck
i don’t give a heck

Memento mori
Placed on shelf
A little worry
For no one else

Lake of Fire future resident?
A personal present?
For the ones I love best?

The interstellar texting fees must be astronomical
But still you reach out like fading galaxies
Or maybe you just want to collide into me
Yet always demanding the direction I take
While lingering in the fantasy of my wake

p.s. photo is current of me and he may have seen a sample but it’s not like it got me any salads or proposals so neener neener

Posted on October 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Gypsy & Ghost

Where did she go?
Wandering in a sea of abyss?
From the words off his lips?
Like a gypsy moving with the wind?

What hath sailed?
Lies foretold we reminisce?
Love is rare like an eclipse?
Reasons we can’t comprehend?

Maybe you’re lying dormant
Winter’s a time to cool
Maybe I’m not important
When others give you fuel

I wish I could remember my own worth
I’m like your shadow always following
Be the one you’re living for on earth
Instead a ghost always wallowing

I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU SEE / LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE ❤️

I miss making photography. I hope I’m in a space to do so again this lifetime.

Apparently Kat Von D denounced her witchery and burned all her witchcraft books and got baptized yet still performs with stripper polls on stage.

I like the baptism and burning of the books.

I’d rather see her follow Christ and listen to the Cure than be all Satanic.

Can we talk about how the Bible has been re-written to be Satanic tho?

Now I need to wash out my tongue for mentioning the Unholy One.

🎃

Posted on September 27, 2023September 27, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Obituary

Would you write my obituary?
And lay to rest all the sins I carry?
For to sadness I am married
And our love it should be buried

They come
They go
It’s my fault though
Status too low
Weep like willow

You’re always on the run
Never stop running
You’re never having fun
Complain the sun is sunning

I’ve never had anything, and now I’ve got too much.
And I could lose it anytime, that’s always been my luck.

I’m sorry but I’m not
I said what I thought
Feelings come and go
Sometimes I take a shot
No matter lesson told
I say it on the spot
You know I can be cold

People already think so lowly of me, I can’t get anymore low.

But it’s easy to judge when your grass is always green.

I’ve been on this earth unmarried for eons, it’s literally hell.

I like being naughty sometimes but I never was that naughty.

We’re literally born nude and we can’t take our clothing to heaven.

I miss doing spicy photography.

I don’t know what to tell you

I just wish I was already moved.

But I’m holding out for land instead of spending uppers of $6k to jump apartment’s.

I am overdue a new environment.

It’s hard to be inspired and motivated in a place I can’t stand.

I’ve only ever posted nude photos, never compromised myself by doing anything other than photography. Though many requests came in with $$$ offerings and I ran folks off.

I have some very cute outfits and have been working out despite growing old.

95% of my household items are gone. Either sold, donated or dumped.

Things are in boxes minus my closet.

I still sleep on the floor.

So think what you will of me, but I miss my tribe.

My accounts were active and I had a lot of traffic.

Now everything is stagnant.

I’m tired of stagnation.

I don’t see anything wrong with nude art.

It teaches me how to be a woman, something man has failed at doing.

But they gave me my username back, and that makes me feel better. 😘

I’m terrible with secrets.

I don’t know where I’m going, I just know I don’t want to be here.

Stuck in a literal black hole.

Need some routine and inspiration in my life.

Don’t even like this city.

Wanna burn all the bridges down.

Stuck in purgatory

LOST 😞

Find me at: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

Posted on July 4, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Color (poems)

He’s the color of rufous
An absolute doofus
He’s the color of sky
With black in his eye

Wish we were exclusive
Instead of reclusive
Like dreaming is lucid
He’s the color of life

21 inch porthole
Thick socks for the cold
The vessel did implode
I guess it didn’t hold

They got crushed
Their vessel was rushed
Now they’re all just dust

Victories not just
The dangers were discussed
Labeled with mistrust

He never told me how much he loved me
Hot sun above me
Make me swoon
Left me for doom

There’s something in the water
I won’t barter
The coverup is worse than the crime
We’ve all lost our mind

Only the beginning
Can’t tell whose winning
The cold is chilling
Earth is spinning
Sun is not forgiving

The rich are the cheapest people
Definitely not my equal

SOS only
And I’m so lonely
My home ain’t homely

My shadow leaves me when it’s dark
When I’m shattered into pieces
And I feel I have no heart

My breath it nearly ceases
A landscape growing stark

I’m running out of patience
I’m afraid I’ll miss my mark
There’s very few releases

Immured in bitterness
It makes no difference
I’m dull, won’t take a risk
Skipping deaths kiss

The sun comes and goes
The ebb and the flows
Midnight lows
The oh’s and the throes
He could heal my soul
Or let it decompose
In the meadows
With the crows

Got the hexes on my exes
Nothing here perplexes
They’re reckless
My math is only guesses

I want to be her
The girl he swoons for
The one he adores
I want her blood on the floor
I want to see her die
Wouldn’t find a tear in my eye
But I’m an amateur

It’s hot and humid
I hate his hubris
Thinks we’re all clueless
Will betray like Judas

I don’t know what’s going on, says the captain
Knowledge lacking
Inside the cabin

Right is forward and left is back
Experts they lack
Inside a tiny shack

The question makes his blood run cold
He’s the Devil you know

If they’re not already dead they will be
That’s what the sources tell me
And I have a feeling that is sinking
With that submarine

I learned a new color name when I ordered a romper and so now it’s in a poem cuz

This rhyme scheme is all over the place just like the chaos in my life

That’s all

More cute rompers incoming

I’m apparently obsessed with buying clothes I will never wear

(Cuz I am a hermit)

Also, why am I so heartbroken over the unsinkable Titan sinking?

It kinda feels like our love?

Exciting but doomed to fail?

Do we get a fancy title?

I’m still completely sober and definitely still fighting off CUD

This is not the cute rompers I mentioned although this too is a romper but more like loungewear – the others are fancy pancy

I ordered this in small and it shipped so hopefully it fits and I got a good bargain for it

It was the last one in stock

OBSESSED and I’ll probably wear it to church or grocery shopping

IT’S NOT LIKE I’M DATING ANYONE

Dying and many people like to be best dressed during their final days

None of my uniforms fit anymore and I sold them at the surplus store for a humiliating price

Ever since TikTok gave me a free coupon, I stopped getting coupons – even though I had many coupons pending, they all disappeared

I hate TikTok and will no longer be shopping over there

Globalism and immigration has destroyed the Land of the Free

There’s nothing to celebrate today

Byeeeee

Posted on June 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Sunk (poetry)

I am absolutely invested emotionally in this lost submarine

So poetry…

All the money in the world won’t save them
And there’s banging from the deep, there’s mayhem
All the prayers for them now, feel like a sunken gem
Who do we fault, who do we condemn?

“It has one button, that’s it”
Says the narcissist

5 are dead or dying
While some are crying
Other’s are denying
Trouble underlying

Remote
Like our love
A breach in hull
Shipwrecked is soul

Crushed is hope
But do you know the scope
An uncertified submarine
Nightmare or dream?

Dark waters turn crimson
But no one will listen
When you hear the cries
The thunder in the skies
The dead have gone missing
They were on a mission
Straight to extinction
Race against affliction

It’s a dead giveaway
You’re going to die today

Sorrows sorrows prayers
The state of affairs
Endless nightmares
Electric chairs
Tell me someone cares

You need to leave but you’re not free to go
The cop combo

Never get on the bad side of a good girl
You will see her form
Like hail in storm
She ain’t lukewarm

I need to focus on the gains
And not the mishaps
Sometimes I think I’ve gone insane
But no one gives a crap

He’s like driving on a floating road
And I ain’t going slow

He’s like riding in a truck without breaks
That’s the speed it takes

Walking in the underground
I’m a ghost and he is the crowd

“Loose lips
Sink ships”

It’s unfortunate
The people who need help
Can’t be helped

It’s always the same color crayon
The same con
The Devil’s spawn
Hanging on my lawn
So they get a yawn
Wish they’d move on
Back to Babylon
Where they’re coming from
Fucking hate them all

I wish I had no father
Why even bother
Poison like still water
I wish I had more honor

Why does the sun
Travel in a straight line
Like your lines
From pen to mind

He hits on his own reflection
He’s gaslighting every direction
He says he loves with affection
He’s in love with his own perfection

Some need more than one chance
To change the circumstance
Don’t want the last dance

Michael Leavitt deserves to crawl into a hole he can’t get out of
As below, so above

I’m just barely existing
Time is ticking
Grave persisting
Death resisting

I don’t want realistic
Fuck sadistic
I’m humanistic
Ain’t optimistic

I must be dead inside
Soul paralyzed
Know not to cry

She’s not me
Still do I slide into her clothes
Like midnight over moon
I am all
And I am none

I start the trends
I rarely follow
I live in pretense
Hard pills to swallow

Til death do us part
We ain’t got the heart
Black and full of rot
We’re both distraught
No grave for plot

I don’t get the physics
Or why he never visits
Says it ain’t my business
Why he acts suspicious

Why are you under my teeth?
Beneath my seams?
Between my dreams?
Light like moonbeams?

Time moves slower in the cold
His heart is indigo
Take me where blue blood will flow
His undertow
The place I grow

He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite

Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit

Demons look like humans
Cheaters look like keepers
Users look like friends
Children look like men
Do not attempt
To understand

I want you well
But not better than me

Some thoughts….

I haven’t been able to sleep and my entire FYP is the lost submarine

I actually hope and pray they are found. It would be nothing short of a miracle. However, they sent two subs down (unmanned presumably) that got crushed at 6000 ish meters

I had a comment get over 1600 likes – and got annoyed with all the notifications – so deleted it

I commented a teenager shouldn’t be on board, many said he was 19

I replied NINETEEN – TEEN

And still – they denied

Had to block – got annoyed

I wish we could mute comment notifications but naw

So delete – it just wouldn’t stop getting likes or comments

I’m an introvert I suppose

Sidenote

Apparently the CEO was in a lot of trouble and he was a good gaslighter and salesman to convince those people to die with him – I don’t think a teenager (yes nineteen is still a teen) should be allowed on an experimental submarine dive 12,500 feet below the sea. It doesn’t matter what fancy title you give them.

That CEO stated over and over that sub was entirely safe, “if this goes… “safe”, if that goes… “safe” but sign this waiver

Look, I signed a waiver getting that motherfucking vaccine and I will never trust another doctor or nurse again – I was asking all the right questions but I was gaslit, gullible, and lied to

And even tho the first vaccine fucked me up, I crawled further in the hole, just like our dear John Jones…

It nearly killed me and I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome

I cannot stress this enough, adrenaline spikes to the heart is a no-go

I workout but not to the extreme

I fucking ran through the Dollar 25 tree with 2 gallons of spring water and it was a no no and that was recently

I was in my car going, “it’s okay we’re safe now, I won’t do that again”

So I can run and jog but not with added weights

It’s ridiculous but if you knew how far I’ve crawled – to get better, you might be a tiny bit proud

I’m feeling stronger but can’t do adrenaline spikes at all…

And I’m only 108 pounds

I also have to be careful with extreme temperatures, the hot and cold

I’m like Goldie Locks, need everything just right…

I’m not out of the dark yet and may never be…

The light is so much more powerful than the dark

Also, they stated you wouldn’t be able to hear banging that deep down – something about sound not traveling through the cold

I find that interesting

Isn’t space cold?

I hope God can hear my screams…

I do feel bad about them being stuck at the bottom of the sea

Maybe they didn’t explode

Maybe they made up the banging to keep the search ongoing and the $$$$ flowing

A fast death seemed a little less cruel than suffocating in the dark and cold in a sealed up tuna can

Where you can’t even stand…

Or hyperventilate

With only a sandwich and bottle of water

The one window was plexiglass

A freaking fish tank

You couldn’t pay me a million to get bolted in that tin

I need to get back to my FYP and I feel less guilty about buying clothes now – that’s a much better decision than sinking to the bottom of the sea to explore a graveyard

But I was fucking stupid for getting that 2nd vaccine

I’m learning to forgive myself for a lot of things

I have been dying a slow and painful death

And there are people on my black list

Lucky buying clothes is all I’m planning to do…

LUCKY

Cuz the daydreams are filled with revenge tenfold

I promise when I’m feeling better than dead I will post some of my cute clothing

Mostly dressing comfy for now…

And appreciative I have a floor to sleep on

My sister died of Covid age 45

I don’t want to die…

But everything is actively trying to kill me

The water, the food, the air, it’s all been poisoned

I HATE CHINA

Posted on June 20, 2023June 20, 2023 by poeeternal · 10 Comments

Billionaires

All these billionaires dropping dead and he thought it was a good idea to visit a graveyard at the bottom of the ocean?

Money can’t buy common sense

They went down in a little tincan “submarine” – the “unsinkable sub” – sounds like by the expert that it imploded about an hour and a half in…

So they didn’t even make it to the gravesite, I mean Titanic

Do you think orcas were involved?

I’m kinda team orca

And, they were watching it from a little TV from inside?

Hope he likes his grave buddies

I don’t really have a good solid feeling about this

I don’t have any feels at all

Dead inside

Blame the boomers

The news is all about this billionaire being rescued – when no rescue is actually possible

Meanwhile, China wants to nuke the USA

A poem or two…

When billionaires go missing
So do my feelings

But I don’t care how much he is worth
I don’t care you are butt hurt

Why are you ghosting me
Do you love me endlessly

Let the dead be
It shouldn’t be a novelty

The expert says imploded but I think the orcas were involved but what the fuck do I know?

No amount of money would get me in that tincan and go to the bottom of the sea (12,500 feet?)

Formula: feet ÷ 5,280 = miles Calculations: 15,000 feet ÷ 5,280 = 2.84090909 miles Result: 15,000 feet is equal to 2.84090909 miles

(I cheated)

So it’s nearly 3 miles deep underground

That doesn’t sound too deep – but you got the crushing pressure of the ocean

Yeah it’s a big fat solid NO for me

You couldn’t pay me a billion to go…

And they controlled the submarine with a Nintendo controller

And parts from Amazon

Surprised that thing lasted 4 times

There are some really good salesmen out there

They controlled that thing with a game controller

“Made in China”

Do you think it caught a leak and imploded?

Did the orcas cause the leak?

Did the controller die?

That was a disaster waiting to happen

China is threatening to nuke us…

Why isn’t that all over the news?

Fuck China and those little rats

People comment “God first” when I have no feelings

I serve God, not demons or man

They won’t understand

Delusional

Let’s not talk about the dead?

People think they are suffering in fear with X amount of oxygen remaining

Naw

That ping disappeared – they were crushed (maybe)

Probably happened so fast they didn’t know what hit them

An orca?

The curse of the Titanic?

Dumb luck?

The did have a little window near the shitbox

I don’t know how many red flags you need

NASA let the space shuttle implode despite 99% of the team warning them that bad weather was a no no

I remember watching hoping it would explode

It did

I’m not to blame

Just wanted everyone as miserable as me

I was 10

I’ve had many predictions come true

NASA – welp 1 person – was more concerned with image than safety

They knew the ship needed repairs

But told the civilians it was safe and like a commercial flight

Just like they took that unsinkable submarine down with a game controller

You ain’t fooling me

I am fucking gullible tho

But thank goodness I fear everything and am a land animal

I especially fear the ocean

Team Bear and Orca

Stop killing the bears cuz you get too close

God 1st

Man zero

Blame the Boomers and the demons who fearmonger and keep us in fight or flight mode 24/7

Delusional

WAKE UP

Posted on June 10, 2023 by poeeternal · 3 Comments

How? (poetry)

How do you do it?
Take my mess?
And turn it into puzzle?
Six foot hole with shovel?
Buried deep is trouble?
Humming like you’re humble?
Dear it’s never subtle?

Collecting comments
Crashing comets
Trashy content
Make me vomit

Cross with commas / burned diplomas / stank aromas / pajamas /

We are two plus one
Minus what we’ve done

He steals the sun and turns it into limelight
His pen will give me frostbite

I HATE APPLE / unholy chapel / nowhere to travel / UNRAVEL

Posted on June 8, 2023 by poeeternal

Do Not Press Enter (says the Devil) poetry

I didn’t press Enter
I pressed Return
So the Devil will linger
Like he has concern

I’m a recovering passive nihilist
I’m always acting childish
Just ask my stylist
Fired for being biased
We’re not an alliance
Fall dead to silence
But I’m full of violence
Underrated and defiant
Won’t find me quiet

In an alternate universe
I didn’t jump soon enough
Guess the train caught my bluff
My friends had already given up

Stick a needle in his eye
Listen to his fake cry
Pooling from his alibi
Set a spell so he may die

The water smells like chlorine
I bet he thinks I’m boring
I guess I’ve lost count scoring
The hate is over pouring

The devil loves my bitterness
Right now I am rigorous
It makes not a difference
Heading for the wilderness

We’re the worst crash
That never happened
Like lightning flash
But we’re still laughing?

The feeling of imminent death
Took the wrong step
Made a wrong left
Death is terrifying
He knows I ain’t lying

Pretty toes
Because the highs are lows
And colored rose
I’ve changed tempos
Searching the afterglow

God loves a good joke

And the Devil being mad

*sigh* despite having video downloads off, found my best viral TikTok video posted by another on YouTube (he did credit me – but where’s my $$$ for it going viral on YT) (fuck you)

Society is a scam.

Poem inspired by a scammer scamming a scammer

Why does it aggravate me so much when people copy me? Because I’m Gen X? And we’re the only generation who are individuals? Yes? No? Maybe?

Please return

Posted on June 1, 2023June 1, 2023 by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Stay (rant & rhyme)

“Made in China” and should stay there
Like your feelings, I just don’t care

Kayaking all by your lonesome?
Not cuz you’re wholesome?

Those who play by the rules are the mark
I’ve got out my chalk
Refuse to talk
Right hand my glock
Born out of wedlock
Married to my walk

He thinks she should be paroled
Once she is dead

I’ve spent all my life
In captivity

Love will never blossom here again
Tie the knots
And tie the endless twigs
But love –
It won’t blossom here

Sleep in a cloud of prayer
Like running into a server farm
Have no idea if I have come to harm?
Like sleeping on a prayer
With halo in my hair
I’m so dumb I will sound the alarm

So I’m just baggage
Armed with a camera
Can do some damage
It’s an advantage

Centenarian
Want to live to then

He said it’s safer
In the lion’s den
Like hate is my neighbor
But he ain’t friend

Father,
There’s almost nothing left
My sister is dead
I’m bereft
Sick in the head
Near out of breath
Got money in the bulkhead

Compartments upon compartments
Secret dirty pockets

He’s a no outlet
I’m driving full speed
Like he’s a preacher for me to confess
But he’s a no outlet

Am I walking to the gate of resentment
Where there’s no contentment
I am so relentless
It’s a consensus

Below: rant and rhyme

Weighed in at 108 pounds today despite eating $100 dollars worth of Cracker Barrel over the last 3 days.

My new small clothing is already too big, and the extra small are loose. Extra extra small exists but I’m probably too fat for it.

108 pounds because “my labs are fine” despite cancer eating me alive

Medical malpractice is common

I don’t want anywhere near a hospital when dying

And like Bob, I would call 9/11 and hang up.

I recently did that, after giving my 201? (location) and she had the audacity to ask me the location.

I responded, “I just fucking told you” and click.

Call disconnected

I did not answer the return

And spoke with the cop when he arrived who informed me that “all of Daytona is bad. Move.”

My lease is up in April

I really don’t want to renew

I also don’t know where to move?

I need land (1-5 acres and a down payment of like a lot)

Can you start dropping coordinates

Of potential places

Where there aren’t many faces

I’m stuck in stasis

Skipping over bases

We’re tied just like laces

Let the sign read faceless

Erasing traces

Following the void

God is gracious

But my neighbors are so racist

I ain’t complacent

Need new spaces

(Help pretty please)

I hope TikTok gets banned

I made my account private and uninstalled the communistic spy app cuz I’m in trouble again for sharing LGBT fashion and stating I was boycotting it

My hate extends all the way to “Made in China”

Stamp it

Engrave it

I fucking hate it

The Great Wall of deceit

WordPress too

The phone is dead come September

Don’t want a new

Not dropping $500+ every two years to be punished on social media

Literally ready to just disappear

By Uncle Sam

My parents are still alive but I don’t know their phone or address

Like a kid, I feel helpless

Acting out of will

Guess I’m growing feckless

Avoiding road of reckless

And feeling so desperate

Just need a quiet place to rest

Maybe God’s chest?

I love him the best

God 1st

Fuck AI

Stop training the AI

I will fuck him up

The Chinese will use AI to commit crime as they are attempting to avoid karma

I do not comply

With any change happening

You fucking asshole

You voted for Biden eh

And have the audacity to say “I can’t trust you”

Oh do-do

I can’t be in the same room as a man

Hardly any women

99.9% of the population denounced God

Stop gaslighting you soulless pricks

“I’m not having children”

Yeah cuz you are bad witch

Nihilist

You all went grey in your 30s

Cuz you removed yer sex organs

For plastic

To look like you’re about to have a baby

But you can’t

And are not

And I’m still bleeding

My life was stolen from me

God feels pain

The dog is driving me insane

I know who is to blame

There’s only one name on my blacklist

*insert shit that could hurt me in the future*

So which path do I take?

Revenge or forgiveness?

It ain’t none of your business

Sincerely as your witness

Kisses sealed with suspicious

Pepper sprayed cuz I’m vicious

What if all these freckles on my body are shadow burns from other stars we can’t actually see cuz our own Sun

Like how the shadow of people were burned into the wall when they were nuked

Like an xray

A mirror reflecting the cosmos

If we could really leave earth, we would

Man killed the dinosaurs

6th mass extinction

You’re gonna burn in hell

For all eternity

Reincarnation is another word for cloning

*sigh* I spend so much time fixing the algorithm

And don’t get paid for it

I no longer answer surveys or give my opinions

Unless you gonna $$$$ me

I’m not racist, I just don’t like you

Be someone worth liking

You’re a walking HollyWood soundbar

Propaganda is all you spew

Cox and his cocks, I mean clocks

Science is nihilism

I wish the dog was dead

I want my life back

Sorry not sorry

People changed him

I’m a passive nihilist in recovery

God save me

But the darkened ones in Generica

The majority

I don’t want to save

Would step back from my own family in flames

Have done and did

Regrets? Oh yeee

Going dark for 6 months or so

There are demons running this world

Satan’s domain

I’ve overstayed my welcome

Losing faith but seldom

Sharpening it like weapon

Cuz devil is depression

As above so below

You ever worry about just being ones and zeros

Like Pinocchio hoping for a soul

Like jumping in a hole

I ran out of stories of cave dying

And have moved onto “crocodile’s eating humans”

I’ve done some seriously dangerous shit as a teen

Nothing like jumping off a ship into shark infested waters at night

This one guy wanted to visit the nudest colony in Death Valley

By miracle he was rescued

But opted a second time to go again

HE DIED

There is a pattern with the seconds

Like how I got the second shot

I’m at risk for Adult Sudden Death syndrome

My immune system was compromised

I’m alive by sheer will and the grace of God

If I knew I only had X amount of time remaining

I’d probably exact my revenge

It’s extremely hard walking a path of holy

In the devil’s land

What dimension are we in again?

It’s a proven fact that Gen Y and Z are dumber than previous generations

I can’t relate to anyone but Gen X and him and him

Him and Him – new book name

I identify as a GIRL

Men cannot have babies

Everybody is a fucking pedo

Fuck LGBT

Fuck TikTok

Fuck “Made in China”

The cops: indecent exposure

Me: the clothes make me burn

Cotton or au gratin?

Apparently most cheese isn’t cheese

Why does God spare some and not others?

Potential?

Not an NPG?

Anything that can happen does and will

Possibility?

Both wave and particle

Timeline jumping

I was going at least 80 miles an hour when I moved into the middle-lane at the exact moment thousands of hands of lightning struck my Jeep, all 4 windows down, arm out

“Fuck” I cried as I whipped my arm in and looked through my rearview and side mirrors taking my foot off the pedal

The sound deafening

Lightning touched my arm

The whole Jeep was surrounded by arms of lightning

God is behind every miracle

Deny him three times no never

My love you can never sever

God gave me the cosmos

Man gave me counseling

Posted on May 21, 2023 by poeeternal

Turnpike (poetry)

Pop up artist in Oklahoma
Has no damn diploma
Divorced him in a coma
But darling she’s a cold one

Unreal omens
Roaming like the Romans
My blood is spoken
One spell never broken
Couldn’t love them both then?

We’re nearly dressed alike
Turn down the turnpike
Let’s go for a hike
Heard from hope tonight

Maybe it was harder than I thought it would be
Humility

He likes my tiny –
My tiny tiny heart
Nicknamed sunshiny
His counterpart

The big girls keep yelling that I’m small / I fear he can’t see me at all

Like a volcano about to erupt
I’m running amuck
Let me be abrupt
This government is corrupt!

Everything he writes
Is about him me you us
Combined in a trust
Locked without fuss

To put her mind at ease, he lied
With spear in side
Not Judascide
Cat caught the mouse
Lie tied to mouth
Not big the trap

Are you burning down cities?
Running from the guilty?
Like a modern viking gypsy?
Do you fancy life more risky?
Got a shot a whiskey?

AWOL / never ordered you to leave

I’m 1600 miles away from hope
No room for boat
Get your telescope
Walking a tightrope

Has karma grabbed your foot?
Think you’re off the hook?
Think steps I mistook?
Ban me like a crook?

I’m a fucking primate
Gotta lot on my plate

You make life misery
You take all liberty

I clean but make a bigger mess / to God I confess

It’s like he’s observing a galaxy from 4 billion years ago –
The girl he used to know
Does he see how much I’ve grown?

Adventure is more reliable than happiness
Said once a therapist?

You’re a deceitful mess
I learned from the best

Dear Necromancer,
Nothing is not the answer
Let God be the anchor
And Earth, don’t forget to thank her

The nervous thumb twitch
Like broke then too rich
Got called a dumb bitch
Might wind up in a ditch

Your new life will cost you your old one
Just waiting for the dog to be done

There’s something super familiar about all these incidents
Just can’t place my feather on it

He works in 12 hour shifts
Might hear from him
In a dozen years

Could you mumble in monotone some more / you’re a zombie chewing on my bored

I wonder where you are on my follower list
Someone I’ll surely miss?
Connection with a twist?
Or maybe you don’t exist?

Got knocked down
Lost my place
Scattered humility
Eclipsed across my face
Nearly lost my soul
Now taking second place

He doesn’t understand
I don’t have love for him
I don’t have love for much
I don’t have love for them

He comes on like rain
Smell of petrichor
Bet I love it more

I know you think I’m boring
Map me like you’re exploring
Tell you stories that got you snoring
I know who you’re ignoring

He’s so bizarre
Drive fast in my car
Foot on the throttle
He thinks I’m odd

We are distributed across billions of light years of space
That’s the love it takes
That’s why our heart aches
Unlimited weight
We’re at infinities gate
Heaven will not wait

Got my asshole tore up on TikTok today. A few violations.

FYI: you ain’t that good at thinking (poem coming soon) (maybe)

Posted on April 29, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Footnote

Dearly belated
Oh Most Hated
Got me jaded
Nearly persuaded
But sun hasn’t faded

He’s the Epic of Gilgamesh
Death is irrelevant
Lessons from a demigod –
Speaks a bunch of gibberish!

Dear Elite
Think life’s complete
With hand I’ll greet
Meet me in the street?

Do you think God plays favorites?
Paradise for the angel?
Won’t give me nothing I can’t handle?

Cold water sinks / depression leaks

Nothing is more expensive than a cheap boat
Unless you’re out of hope
Better pray for rope
Here’s your footnote

Now you’re just somebody that I want to know

I promise –
I won’t make any promises
I’m too damn ominous
Like doubting Thomas
But my tongue is honest

I’m investing in bullets and freshwater
Dream of killing father
Knelt down by altar
Gold coins for slaughter
At knee they foster
Silver and laughter
It’s land I’m after
For ash to scatter
And sin for answer
God is still my master
Hereafter

I don’t know my own father’s face / I don’t know his fate / or should I really hate

What I am
Computer programs
Happy Birthday rams
Still sticking around
Like dripping clouds
I’m in a drought
The thick of doubts
It’s double this shroud
It’s double this shroud
I’m looking out
Twice as loud

Neurons could be pixels on my desktop
You build walls I can eavesdrop
You build ramps I can skate across
You know I won’t ever stop

The blueprints are in another dimension
God will never mention 🙂
Not that you’re listening
Unused attention
Forward inching

Mark Chapter 11:

Jesus cursed a fig tree
Love thy neighbor
Unless it’s not producing fruit
Then cut it loose
Bloodletting (but he could’ve waited until morning) (when the sun was burning)

(The fruit doesn’t form at night / you get what I am learning)

Dear Man of Sin
Oh Lawless One
Repent for what you’ve done
Oh Rotten One

Dear Beast from Sea
Dreaming of me
Doctrine of Demons
Too blind to see

Fallen angel of technology
You ain’t fooling me
I’m sacred geometry
True anomaly

Stats in real time
But always delayed
The algorithm favors
Those who paid

Do not worship false idols

Thank you for the magnificent midnight moon
The verdict you impugn
Farewell written on ballon
Drinking gold from a teaspoon
Lack of despair come June

He’s the universe
Divided by zero
A nice guy
But not a hero

Money won’t buy happiness
But I’ll be better dressed
I’m kinda feeling ravenous
Like the earth’s my catalyst
I knew you couldn’t handle it

What forest have you been foraging
Like my prayers that you’re forwarding
Like the sun you get me flourishing
I’m yelling but you’re ignoring

Wilted
Like a weeping willow
Guilt silken
And gripping like the end
Bed ridden
And evil are children

Squirrel happily greeting me and loves his treats I bring.

Tell God I’m probably to blame if Squirrel fattens up too much.

Tell God I want to build a squirrel playground and bird paradise and frog pond and little things like that

An actual mini rainbow bridge crossing over a pet cemetery

A fire-pit and lessons

Like basic human skills?

I don’t like the concrete jungle

You’ve got to stop chopping Florida down…

I don’t like much that man lays claim to

The art, the history, the music, gay and lame.

I want to hear Pretty Bird sing

The toads annoying me all night

Man stole my life and I want nothing to do with his pet projects

I can’t stand using a phone or app

Posted on April 14, 2023April 14, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Bob’s dead (poetry)

He won’t give his twenty
Claims he is bleeding
Disconnected –
Call is ending
Streets are empty
Can anyone hear Bob screaming?

Angel investor
Married but not together
Machine his predecessor
A wife he couldn’t pleasure

~~All hail AI~~ ~~/ Bob has died~~

Caught stumbling all alone
Gripping his phone
Dripping blood
Like a trail of bones

Stabbed and shunned
Car with hazards on
A billionaire with no gun
City center is fun!

Close enough to be stabbed in the chest twice – with a kitchen knife

Bob was perfect at everything but being a husband eh (gaslighting)

I’m not stupid, Bob. How dare you. “I sleep with men but I’m not gay”. LOL (God)

M’kay whatever ~~you say~~

(This is how I mourn. It’s called the 7 stages of grief. I’m on ANGER)

Seeking help but wouldn’t give the one call your location – fucking lost – on a street you mostly lived – c’mon!!!!

You should have stayed down! The adrenaline spikes got yah!!!!

“Angel investor” NO BRO – DEMON who doesn’t even Tweet or acknowledge women – it’s sharing “bro this”, “bro that” and comments to other boys about “why aren’t you here already” and current posts from said person ain’t shed a tear of your passing

Delusional bro

AI is not the way

White pawns are under attack

White lives don’t matter

Bob, you should have stayed down

Your lovers fake plastic sister living in a 2 million highrise – in the same building you own

I got the popcorn out

You remember the Looking Glass?

God already won

The Devil taking his fine time drawing his last move – getting as many souls as he can – drowning demon

Image is everything to these demons – they wrote the playbook for crying out loud – in the closet gay!!!! He’s ruined the world! His daddy too!

Maybe I’m sorry but maybe I’m not!

Sidenote: they don’t get it – but I inherently get it. I wouldn’t normally either. However, this instance, it’s like a direct arrow to my broken soul. Boom this way to the singularity. No no this way to heaven. It’s like you and I play pull rope (what the hell is that rope game actually called)

I can’t recall JJ’s nn either – and he’s the one who sent it to me through the ether. I was all offended and like “no bro”. He loved it.

I’m trying to quit this Russian weed – my brain needs time to sort the pathways

I mean, if I had a phone, and I needed HELP, I’d like CALL the authorities and like “I’m at a glass building, I’m dying”

He knew them streets like the back of an Android

YOU OUTTA THE CLOSET NOW BRO

Gave it a decade huh then ran back home to live with daddy

GAG

“My best friend”

I wanted to punch my mom when she said that about her first born – as I was the family slave ghosted (triangulation)

Posted on April 7, 2023 by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Open Doors

You turn open doors to silence
Great wide expanse
Look how you guide us
Galloping in advance

I still love you best

I wish you well like starlight
I’m seeking tonight
Kept my heart tied

The perfect existence
The one I found you in
But you’re so nihilistic
There’s no room to win

I know how you lie
Dressed in crown
And agony
Twisted thorn
Of tragedy

You’re lost
You don’t have identity
Heavy cross
A penalty
Come walk with me

Is this how we soothe it
Our love is prudent
Somehow I’ll prove it
Driving nail right through it

Old mixed with new
Like promises overdue
I don’t have a curfew
Under you

Surfing too
With parachute
In full monsoon
We rendezvous

Let me say with oath
He wanted promises stretched out unto infinity
And so the great expanse was his domain

I know how much you hate me
Run around berate me
Am I poison sumac
The girl you couldn’t stomach?
Would you block me if I cometh?
Maybe create a covet?

Indestructible. It will not corrode, rust or tarnish, and fire cannot destroy it.

Our love like gold

Tornadoes form
When you arrive
Like thunderstorm
Or thorn in side

Man can’t travel to the beginning, it’s forbid
Moving backwards through time
There’s always going to be a dead end

Psst…

I followed the American gold trail all the way back to Japan. I had to “read more” “read more” visit “read more” and said number of times – to find the end trail.

Also – they tax gold A LOT and the government can confiscate it anytime they want

(I’d like to see them steal my nuggets tho for real, I’m unhinged)

(I don’t have any nuggets – it was an impossible dream)

So phones only last around 6 years

By the time I purchase one 3-4 years in – it’s 2-3 years from its final update

“How long will this iPhone last”

Can we go back to pagers and whatnot?

Dropping letters in the mailbox without any postage?

Knocking on the door and leaving notes

“Be back in 10 ~~minutes~~ 1 hour”

Leaving packages on the door “sorry I missed yah”

Or, maybe stop charging so much for “the latest phone”

Journalism is crap these days – websites swarmed with ads eating your data – and now they want us to pay for the “free press”

Pay for the propaganda and lies – more than we already do

Other countries that adopted the “American dream” policies are tanking

Not only did the parents of GEN X not like us – they want to give our jobs to the millennials – they sold us out – and stole half our retirement without remorse

None of them care about the future

Sex content should be behind a paywall

“Must verify age”

They need to put triple black curtains up at Spencer’s

I don’t want to see “adult content” 24/7

WP is turning into the FB algorithms in terms of how people are putting out content and slipping in desensitizing content

GenX needs to band together and get a farm and ghost everyone else (kinda)

It won’t be until 2060 or so until the Boomers are all gone

I thought I’d get to live to see something cool like go to the moon – but all the boomers produce are LIES

Isn’t your poetry like a little headlamp in a damp, dark cave.

Thank you

(Please stop destroying everything and feed the birds and wildlife whatever you are eating)

I’ve decided to bond with a house spider who took residence in my bathroom in the corner of the sink

She was small – she growing

I told her I must relocate her at some point “due to fear”

For now, she’s soaking up the dew from my shower time

She fixed her little web of string connected to my pop up trash bin after instructed

She loves my hot showers

She’s an animal

There’s a lot of responsibility in her trust of me

I have arachnophobia

Apparently she’s a common Florida house spider

When I was a child, unsupervised, I wanted to see how long it would take the June bugs to “coat me” and when my mom came outside to check on me, I was standing still covered head to toe in June bugs

She said I was the devil

I would let granddaddy long legs crawl on me too

“Oh look another one, put him on me”

Now I see a bug and nearly die

So I dunno where my disconnect with nature happened (my boomer mom)

I would eat the scallions growing in the grass – unwashed

I drank water from the hose

The school made me swish with fluoride

They lined us up in the hall and made us drink some pink stuff

We weren’t allowed to wear advertising or “Black and proud” t-shirts to school

Our shorts and skirts had to be knee level

I weigh now what I weighed then – only now I got tiny tiddies

I just spent over $400 on a new phone 2 1/2 years ago – and now come September – final update

So no.

I’ll start blogging from the library computer or something

50% of my retirement savings – in the pockets of the boomers

They still don’t care about us and don’t plan on handing over the torch which is why they ghosted and gutted us –

Wait til more have a place to direct their anger (stop spending)

(Crucify them!?!)

I don’t think the purpose to life is death and destroy.

I may be a passive nihilist tho

I’m working on ‘me’