i love her because the mountains are fair and deserving
she is lethal but she will not hurt me
like falling for gravity then question why it’s not working
why won’t the earth unearth me?

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he’s a beautiful creation
i hope you protect him with all of heaven
like the ocean is waving
his energy is saving

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i saw him and i went into fawn mode. i just stood there starring – unable to look away? so he waved but went the other way?

but he waved, he acknowledged my existence?

he did not break his neck to look away?

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the doctor mentioned the C word yesterday

she wants more testing

but i am D-O-N-E with modern medicine

i have chosen the holistic route

OK?

medical malpractice is common

just ask all my dead comrades – oh wait

even i don’t talk to the dead (much)

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im 50 kilos

she’s like “what did you weigh when you came to me”

im like “130ish”

she said “20 pounds in a year is not good”

hard to explain to a gaslighting demon that i am starving the cancer devil out of me

i stopped telling doctors anything

“the pills aren’t working, i don’t have a gun” (not necessarily in that order)

i mean, none of your business?

and really the “no i don’t have anything to hurt me” is kinda true

my safety items are for my protection, not yours (insert silly emoji with tongue out)

it’s why i leave my house again

except… i don’t go anywhere

cause and effect my love

have fun

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i can’t take my eyes off of you

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she was so happy i got a table for my sunroom

she said a “tea table” and i said yes

she said i want to come visit you

and my response made it seem like i wanted to put her to work

i gotta work on my communication

i remember yelling at Gavin Rosssale (of the band Bush) – who i drove several hours to go see – who stopped instantly signing autographs and taking pictures with others AS SOON AS he heard me CALLING HIS NAME

and he came and i yelled “do you even know who the fuck i am” and his eyes went big and my eyes went big and my mouth slightly fell open cuz i meant to nicely and sweetly say “do you remember me” but alas he did tweet me “it was great to see me” THE NEXT MORNING

i deleted my twitter tho (not the next morning)

(i remember when i quit facebook because trent reznor did)

(i remember the feeling when Trent approved me into his 5k friends list and i never needed to ask)

it only took him 6 months to approve cuz he was off making babies? but he knew my name from the old NIN message boards, where he use to roam, and i asked him to marry me when i was 16

HE DID NOT SAY NO

he was flattered and answered my actual musical questions

i just needed to know if he would marry me first

i remember when he returned to facebook but not really so i did too

NO I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH TRENT REZNOR

YES I COULD POTENTIALLY CRY IF I EVER MET HIM

NO I DO NOT WORSHIP ANY FALSE IDOLS OR GODS

he has YELLOW FEVER AND I ALMOST HATE HIM

plus i am GEN X – the most dangy genny yep

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you fucked up when you took my voice and now you wanna take my guns

YOU THINK THAT IS AIR YOU ARE BREATHING NOW

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she wants to come here, i want to go there (in my best Beetljuice voice)

“i want out, you wanna get me out”

yes i do

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(just in case you are confused, i kinda fell for my neighbor who probably would fall for my best friend)

neither one of them are obsolete

i am overcoming the worst migraine

THE DEVIL CAN GET FUCKED

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i have not been doing much of anything but trying to not die

i wish the neighbors knew how important that was

im sure they (the milkinials) think i am lazy

just barely alive

at the expense of all the other gens

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