Unrequited Love on Tuners

I dropped a thread on Tuners Radio under my pen PoeEternal about unrequited love + a short original poetry reading on Tuners, have a listen now (free app to listen and use): https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

So I’ve committed to using Tuners more, as I said before recently in a blog post. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s a great app to use, and you don’t even have to download anything to listen/tune in. 👍

*UPDATE* Jena Malone left a beautiful reply today, she is a queen (I’m certain you’ve seen her in a movie even if you’re not aware you saw her in a movie).

I currently have this running in my Insta story cuz it’s hella cool but you can listen free on Tuners 🙂 https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

Source

I wanna come, so then I go
You say go fast, so I go slow
You say goodbye, I’m at hello
I drop a bomb, for afterglow

I sleep outside my own prison gate
I build a wall to suffocate
And any trespasser I will violate
Just come near me and you will ache

I am good but I am bad
I am happy but I am sad
I am boring but I am rad
I think I died in Baghdad

I am the pleasure but he is the pain
No matter the blood, I need him the same
I laid down my gun and this isn’t a game
You have the key to open my chain

He is the stable, I am a wild horse
Maybe it is hate, I don’t know the force
And if he loves me, it is only in fourths
I have looked for love but I can’t find the source

© Delia Ross. 2019

“My indecision is final…”
I always gots rosey cheeks and freckles (Alabama, circa 2015)
Missouri (AKA MISERY) Circa 2007ish
Iraq circa 2003
Tennessee barely sixteen
Florida circa 2016ish
Tennessee age 18 with my 9 month old baby that I breastfed a solid year (my hair is nearly that long again *squee* but this is my natural color, brunette with hazel eyes)
(Self, age 18, kiddo 9 months)
A hippy goth in docs, nothing much has changed 🙂 (age 18)
The 90s, the best and worst decade of my life
I iz evolving (Florida, my birthday 2019)

Doll

I won’t say anything at all
Cuz when I do I seem to fall
But you were there to watch me crawl
You were there to see me bawl

You, you wind me up like a doll
You pull the string and then I’m off
And then you act so appalled
As if it’s never your fault

You, you got me crawling up the wall
For what I did, I don’t recall
You like to see how I stall
My tears your favorite decal

© Delia Ross. 2019

Saddest girl in the world (self-portrait)

Dead Anyway

Do I ever make you feel good?
Do you focus on the bad, longer than you should?
If you trusted me, could I peek under your hood?
If you don’t love me, do you ever think you could?

Every cloud passing by another prayer
In your thoughts, I wonder, am I there?
Is there ever a moment, where you care?
Of all the ones you’ve loved, how did I compare?

Slipping down now is the rain
Coming down to greet me another pain
Unfamiliar, surrounding terrain
And here I linger, here I dwell, here I remain

Life is just full of decay
I slowly watch love fade to grey
And if I die well I was dead anyway
If I die, that’s just the price we pay

© Delia Ross. 2019


Halloween has passed and still themes of death, oh goodie, I’m still me. Survivor of spells and curses, adding that to my portfolio. Let’s compare resumes. The new modern age of dick comparing. My debt is bigger than yours. Oops, I meant dick, I mean house. Wait, what the fuck are we talking about again? Dick, yes, need. CHOCOLATE, I NEED CHOCOLATE (shut up hormones) ((my ovaries are literally in a knife fight right now, I would apologize but my cycles follow the Moon))

This tho, yasssss HORNY CREEP yeps, not gonna apologize about that either. My drive ain’t hurting nobody. IS YOURS?

Clean Dirty Mouth

You can take the soap and wash words from my mouth
But I never meant for any of them to ever come out
And if you ever forgive me, my love is facing south
And all the dirt within me, took a different route

© Delia Ross. 2019


You ever have your mouth washed out with soap? I did once when I was ten and I misspelled shirt by spelling shit on my quiz, which the teacher said I did on purpose, because apparently I’m little miss perfect. So she called my mom and they both agreed I shouldn’t have misspelled a word in First grade and thus bathroom “lick the soap twice”. I wanted to fucking kill them. I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without murdering someone. God literally made me incapable of physically hurting another human being. Because “little miss perfect” *rolls eyes* *flaps wings*

It’s possible my subconscious did misspell a word because I was being beat at home but I only got beat more at school so…

I am a Leo tho, and I was certain then it was a mistake… I was already upset when I saw my grade was less than perfect, but now, a liar too!?! Age ten was toughs.

Safehouse

If there is a world where I exist
Please visit
I am a rainbow just waiting to get sunkissed
Like a solar flare my moods can get explicit
But it is through destruction where life has risen
And now you give love a speed limit
And you tie a ribbon of shame around my spirit
You label yourself “critic”
Where once a safehouse requiring no picket
I’d enter, I’d rest, and my dreams were so vivid
I’d cry and I’d dance and I loved you every minute
Your love was a sticky mist
I inhaled all of it (give me a fix)

© Delia Ross. 2019

Perfect Form

If I were a moon, he’d be an asteroid
If I were open space, he would be the void
If truth were a promise, he would be the lie
If beginnings had beginnings, he would be goodbye

If I were an ocean, he’d be the shark
If reasons had meaning, he’d tear it apart
If weather were gentle, he’d be the eye of a storm
If cold were a shoulder, his would have perfect form

© Delia Ross. 2019


Inspired by something I heard in John Wick 2… had to revisit the entire chapters after watching 3. Neo warming up for The Matrix 4. John Wick 3 is by far the best of the chapters, it just slayed. Martial arts makes me kinda sloppy wet (or maybe that’s just Keanu Reeves, KIDDING chill sheesh) 🙃🙃🙃😛

Bad Feathers

Her wings wrought from sorrow, stained with regret
And if there’s any forgiveness, he hasn’t given it yet
If love had a mirror it would reflect his spirit
If any hand were worthy, his has merit

She wraps her wing around his heart
She prays it helps the pain depart
It is not a solution but it is a start
Even angels are known to break apart

She awaits quietly in silent prayer
As she tends his heart from its despair
There is no love that can compare
She plucks out bad feathers showing wear and tear

She shuts her eyes and makes a wish
She simmers any flames of anguish
So love may again feel its warmest
Where for him it was found coldest

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’d remove every feather if it meant never hurting you again.

Stones of Regret

Underneath the stones of regret peace is found
Though the tether is outstretched it is still bound
The weather grew punishing and so too his frown
But my love for him keeps circling around

And I try my hardest to stand
But this depression keeps showing its ugly hand
And I’m trying to fly but in his heart I just crash-land
And it breaks my heart I did it again

So with my broken will I isolate the curse
But without him I am ever growing worse
And if I could I would put time in reverse
Love would be the only tether we would traverse

I pushed away the only thing that ever mattered
And when he left my soul completely shattered
And now there’s nothing, not even a word
And his silence is the loudest sound I have ever heard

© Delia Ross. 2019


I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry.

Words Like Bullets

Where do you go in the dark with my heart
Words fire from my tongue like a bullet from a gun
The damage inaccessible but already done

Where do you go with my broken dreams
Do you savor the sounds of the sorrow they bring
When it comes to being hollow who is the king

Where have you gone with my voice
Give me a list of the roads I should void
You left me in rage, my tongue had no choice

© Delia Ross. 2019

Grudges

You can change it but then nothing changes except maybe faces if you live through the ages

You can hold grudges but then nothing’s worth shutting out the love she gives when it’s mixed with your ashes

She took all that skin you hid and she turned it into crosses

She prayed for the things that you did and turned it into magic

She drew a bridge over the sorrow and a tunnel through despair to bring you a brighter tomorrow

And though you gave her wings piercing sharp edges

She cut through your night and exposed a boy who’d gone missing

She tiptoed delicately and softly into your heart

Once inside she carved her name into your soul

And it ticks like a chime

And connects to her rhyme

And she’s with you all the time

And now you dream again

And hope is a sun

And day is a chance

And tomorrow is forgiven

For what crime is living

If you can’t have her around

Are you really going to be the stone that takes her down?

How many have you thrown at her now?

Do you line her mistakes up in a formation?

When she crumbles do you feel the vibration?

Does it give you a lot of appreciation?

When she falls do you feel a better man?

She put a dream in your hand

She made you feel something again

And now you wish her to be a better friend?

© Delia Ross. 2019


I just think people’s mistakes aren’t as bad as people make them out to be. Sometimes the innocent fall. Especially when faced with burdens and dilemmas (and often revelations). But the guilty will be the first to cast the stones. History has proved this time and time again… I had things I needed off my chest. I wasn’t going to do a rhyme and then I was and then I wasn’t and that seems to be the flow of the poem. It is what it is…

Carcinogen

Gone but now back again
And by the end of the week
You’ll be missing then
It’s becoming routine
A cycle of ends
And now another peak
Is there ever zen
If honesty were to leak
I needed a friend
So frail and rarely meek
Are these Earthmen
It’s not what I seek
And you are carcinogen

© Delia Ross. 2019

Could use a fag now actually… (do Americans know it’s slang for cigarettes!?!)

The Trouble With Forever

The trouble with forever
It happens rarely ever
They put it in a letter
Then say that it is treasure

The trouble with forever
It happens next to never
They promise you less error
Then leave in stormy weather

The trouble with forever
For worse or for better
At first they give you pleasure
Then the rest is only terror

The trouble with forever
It feels light as a feather
It promises only leisure
But it’s gone once there’s pressure

© Delia Ross. 2019

If

If words had weight
If wrongs had reasons
If wounds didn’t ache
If forgiveness had seasons

If goodbyes came with rainbows
If my love was chose
If only I was enough
If only he’d show up

If hands had healing
If tears had feelings
If life had meaning
If hearts were beating

If moments were real
If love were ideal
If lights were not blinding
If you would stop hiding

If galaxies were moving
If darkness stopped the blooming
If alibis were candy
If heartaches were brandy

© Delia Ross. 2019

If only I knew how to end this fucking heartache…

Pondering

Can you love a man?
But not know him?
Does love exist?
What type is it?

Can you want a dream?
Without anything?
Can you feel a thing?
Without noticing?

Can you give it a try?
Without the alibi?
Can you draw the line?
Some other time?

Can we start again?
As a real friend?
What can you admit?
Am I that easy to quit?

In comes another nail
The devil on my tail
He smiles while he impales
Off my sorrow he sails

There he goes again, always with the wind, there he goes again, always with the end

© Delia Ross. 2019

Mirage 2.0

I thought that he was far away but he doesn’t exist
I thought they were a bouquet of poems, not a blade to cut my wrist
For a moment, I felt loved, now I feel his fist
And whatever I’ve done, well he’s over it

One, two, three, four, there’s so many grabbing at his line
It was written for her but now nevermind
And if he can’t have her, we get zero rhyme
If he only knew they left us completely blind

He kept us marching so long in the desert
And thirsty we were for any squirt
We were just disciples for him to hurt
And the connections that were made he doesn’t give a fuck

© Delia Ross. 2019

Webs

He takes my mistakes and spins it like thread; And out from the web the finest dread

He takes my regret and puts it in the fire; And out of the pit come my worst desire

He takes my shame and puts it on his feet; And next thing you know he’s down the street

He takes my love and puts it on his mantle; Then he swears protection on his broken angel

© Delia Ross. 2019

50 Word Short Story Poetry

Years passed on and he always wondered how she got on with her life
But one evening, word finally returned, she ended her life that night
When he asked of her body, her grave, they said it was the ocean
She was never recovered from the boat she jumped, “there wasn’t a note son…”

© Delia Ross. 2019

So, thank you so much for 25,000 visits to this here blog cuz it just surpassed 25K! Woah. I wanted to write a 50 word short story in poetry format and since it’s October or nearly Halloween, I went with a death/ horror theme. I wanted to see how much impact I could give a poem with as little information about the characters as possible. I wanted there to be a sense of doom but also a feeling of empathy and unresolved questions. Like, did it make you wonder what happened to them? Just like he wondered all those years what happened to her. Did he imagine she was better off without him? Did he wonder if she was happy all those years? Does it make you wonder who they were to each other? Did you feel sad or gutted for him receiving such tragic news? Did you feel empathy or loss for him? Could you feel the mood or “put yourself in his shoes”?

By the way, I didn’t count the “the”, “and”, or “a”.

Can you write a 50 word short story too? I challenge you to do so, and brownie points if you can pull it off in poetry format. It doesn’t have to be a Halloween or horror theme, but if you’re up for the double challenge? I’m sure these 50 word short story thingys exist but I just came up with the idea of doing one in poetry format and Halloween themed. If my little story moved you, hit that like button or drop me a comment. And definitely let me know if you do the challenge. 👻👻👻

Tower of Sorrow

I am stranded in a tower of sorrow and I think I might need saving –

from the curse of a broken heart –
and how he left me alone in the dark –
but even worse drove a metaphorical spear into my side –
ensuring that my spirit died –
ensuring heaven was denied

Put a moat around my tears and get this blackness out of here

I am at the tower of sadness
Every hour in this madness

© Delia Ross. 2019

Percentages

Atone? She scoffed, her wings curled in and the tips had frost

And then from the distance and frigid past, a noise of an entry, he returned at last

And the shockwaves and ripples, commenced, standing on emptiness

She sighed, “what did you forget”?

“…that I’m in, one hundred percent”, he replied

© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t really know what to call this thing but it was just something I was feeling cuz feelings happen in the now…

Apophis

The service you subscribe to has been temporarily disabled
The lies I was eating too, were all mislabeled
Feelings that could not be swallowed, pushed under the table
The love she was selling you, have clogged your cables
Caring now a fortune and something I’m just not able

Annoyance like a vine and it creeps and entwines
If happiness were a choice they would all still decline
It seems so obvious but they require written signs
Apophis now a decade out from the end-of-times

Life’s so very short but they still won’t understand
And if they wake up now they might feel something grand
And it will be too late when she comes to kiss this land
And if that doesn’t work, well, death has other plans

© Delia Ross. 2019

Life is short, love now… MORE LOVE. The world needs more love. I don’t have time for anything else.

Seeds of Love

There is a tourniquet on her tongue
There is a swell in her heart where he stung
There are written words that remain unsung
There is a list of wrongs that they all hung

There is a trail of ash where lightning struck
There is a stem remaining from her petals he pluck
There is a girl with hope but never any luck
There is quicksand where her feet are stuck

There are rooms without any remorse
And days we seem to make it worse
Where life exists only in verse
They leak from pages and turn to curse

There is a small window where he may care
But you will never get to meet him there
He will pull the blind so they cannot stare
And wear a mask that says beware

There are stones to throw whether wrong or right
And reasons to keep them all up at night
There are teeth attached to mouths that bite
And mistakes so bright you won’t need a light

There are roads we build of the unknown
With caverns of secrets we will never own
And shame like ice we carve a home
Faces with frowns of moments blown

If you stop and take a look around
At your feet growing up from the ground
It grows so high now past your crown
This is where the seeds of love are found

© Delia Ross. 2019

Bad Apple

You should have kept it a buried treasure
You should have taken another adventure
His love will make you poorer not richer
The taste of his bite is only bitter

A bad seed from his rotten apple
The taste of his lips makes one babel
Leaving you with lessons you’ll never grapple
Poison your tongue so you can never tattle

Holy water will run from the unclean
Circle and burrow paths for a new stream
A king can grow apples from a bad seed
A queen never takes a road to mislead

© Delia Ross. 2019

Summoned

Written words intended to sting
Written traps that would wound a king
Tied it tight to the back of my wing
Stuck around to feel him tugging
Held so tight he could feel me cutting
Cried so loud he could here me coming
Insert the spear while his heart is still pumping
Make sure he knows that I am not bluffing
Leave him broken so he can’t feel nothing
At least then I know he can feel something
And get a taste of the pain he is causing
Let him know how bad I am hurting
Teach him a lesson about deserting
Tie his feet so he can’t keep on running
Oh my love what are we becoming
This isn’t the love that I had summoned

© Delia Ross. 2019


24-hour Shift

How do you forget something once you know it exists
How do you put the blade to your own wrist
How do you cross a soul off of your list
How do you explain chaos needs a misfit
How do you find light when the sun’s never lit
How can a stranger leave such an imprint
What is it about me you don’t want to risk
How much more pain are you going to inflict
I’m chained to a cross and your actions afflict
My heart is still buried inside your dark crypt
I know I was wrong and deserve to be whipped
But I’ve never experienced anything like this
If there are rules please hand me a script
Do you forgive me for being such quick lipped
I’d crawl unto you and beg to be kissed
My love is on a 24-hour eternal shift

© Delia Ross. 2019

Yearning

It’s half-past heartbreak 
The pain grips like a snake
There’s nothing to stop the ache

Once upon a better time
Wasting youth was such a crime
Pride it only cost a dime

It’s long past sorrow
There’s no joy here to borrow
I still pray he calls tomorrow

Third times a charm or so we learn
In slavery until we are adjourned
And so the same ole pages turn
These forty years I only yearn

© Delia Ross. 2019

Karma

There it was, labeled to me – I, the addressee
Trying on lovers because revenge tasted sweetly
Inserting the blade ever so neatly –
Ensuring the heart was severed completely

Burning through dreams like an oil field in the night
Running out of fuel and the zest for a life
Looking back but never having any foresight
Dancing in alleyways with nothing but a knife

I can lie and pretend I will live and die by you
One day, I’ll come to know those lies were never true
And now decades of mistakes when I should have just withdrew
That’s the trouble with searching for treasure when you haven’t any clue

© Delia Ross. 2019


Could Have, Would Have, Should Have

I could have been a lawyer
But I studied instead to mope
I could have loved you better
Now instead I hate you most

I would have wrote a letter
But this poem instead should work
I would have ripped your heart out
And put it on a perch

I should have sought out shelter
When it started to get worse
You should have loved me better
But now instead I’m broke

© Delia Ross. 2019

The Best Things In Life Aren’t Free

The best things in life aren’t free
But please don’t bother me
I changed the lock and key
It’s best if you now flee

He bled her clean
Filled images in her head
The young ones he will preen
And bleed them til they’re dead

The best things in life aren’t free, he said
With not even a look of dread
She knows it’s nothing she misread
His love trap is a deathbed
Miles and decades of lies widespread
But not an ounce of bloodshed

The worst things in life are free
And you’ll never remember me
I sat there clawing blindly
In the forest at the wrong tree
Because the worst things in life
Always seem to follow me

© Delia Ross. 2019

My Son Part 2: The Note Beneath His Pillow

“My darling husband, I can’t look at your face,
I made a promise but it went to waste.
The lovely day when we became one,
and the lovely night when we planned our son.
But now I’ve never felt so low before,
I don’t want to look in your eyes anymore.
I saw your pain when you heard the news,
we asked God for another but he must have refused.
And all I wanted was to carry your name,
now I hide my head in shame.
And your face that day in my mind remains;
I’m not even a woman anymore.

The one that I knew could carry my soul,
the one who could shield me from the cold.
You lent me all that you had inside,
I tried to give him to you, you know that I tried.
I saw you crying as I came to,
Losing myself was all I could do.
I never looked right at you again,
I regret it now, since you needed a friend.
And all I wanted was to carry your name,
now I hide my head in shame.
And your face that day in my mind remains;
I’m not even a woman anymore.

And I was wallowing and rolling in the pool of blood,
The Rivers that originated from me would flood.
All I tasted and felt was the death,
of my baby boy who would never have breath.
I cried for you, baby; I cried for you in fright,
Years went by in that one horrid night.
Would we ever be the same? Would we ever smile?
Would I ever get over it? Am I too fragile?
And all I wanted was to carry your name,
now I hide my head in shame.
And your face that day in my mind remains;
I’m not even a woman anymore.

Things are a little more clear now;
there is a sense of peace in the solution I found.
Strange I choose to bathe in blood;
again, it might as well be mud.
And soon I’ll rest in the dirt with the worms,
and never again feel this heart that burns.
I may be letting you down again,
but it’s only one more time, you were my very best friend.
And all I wanted was to carry your name,
now I hide my head in shame.
And your face that day in my mind remains;
I’m not even a woman anymore.”

© Delia Ross. 2010

Stay tuned for: My Son Part 3: Half of Her Life

When It Ends

When it ends there’s not going to be time for goodbyes

A suitcase packed fully won’t lessen your fall
Or keeping all your money on your credit cards
A shoebox with keepsakes won’t help you at all
It won’t matter if you try to run or if you crawl

It’s too late for apologies when time is near our end
Debts should have been settled while we were still friends
Begging won’t account for much at all I contend
Looking back, don’t you regret it was all just pretend?

Don’t you know your promises are vague and empty here
Any morals that you had will likely soon disappear
Those lies you spin and weave so well
Are fine like silk or expensive cashmere
Years to practice your art, now a master puppeteer
Raise them high enough up,so they can really feel your jeer!

When it ends there’s not going to be time for goodbyes
The train may have whistled but it’s already passed by
There’s nothing you can do about all you made cry
Might as well tell the truth we all saw through your disguise
There’s nothing left to compromise or to fantasize
You turned your only gift into Jekyll and Hyde

© Delia Ross. 2019

RESIDUE

The shore rises
And as our dreams do
Hopes are washed away inside us
Awards instead of gifts as prizes
Pills wrapped in silk disguises
With this wave a bit of residue
Likely he’ll never get your point of view
I’m sorry if I ever troubled you
Give love a chance the universe advices
We won’t need anymore of those disguises
Which road leads to your avenue

© Delia Ross. 2019

Chasing Ghosts

We’ve been lost on the same road
Making circles back again
We’ve been chasing all the ghost
Who will destroy us in the end
Along the way we have passed
Pretending each were a friend
How long can we last
Avoiding roads full of sin
What test do we pass
Where does the road to love begin
All the signs along the way
Point to never meeting him

© Delia Ross. 2019