We are never to discuss my real age again 🤪

In vampyre years, I am 420

Next Thursday, I will be turning 430. Vampires age differently

But next week, I will have lived 430 years!

That’s why I know so much stuff!!

In angelic years, I am 15 😇

All angels are children

Please don’t be fooled by that sexist Bible which tells you that all angels are men

All angels are children

I age differently

And we are never to discuss my real age ever again 😈

I’ve met dudes who was all into me but kept bringing up the fact that I was older and how they want to be with an “older woman”

Like, you had one job and that was to make me feel young 😩

It’s kinda hard to respond to people when they attack me about being single too

But

It helps to not bring up the fact that I’m fucking older than you 😏

Yes, I have a fucking ego

You may identify as a fucking pop tart but I identify as young and it’s like my fucking motto

At least when people scold me that I act like a child we can actually agree on something

Now you’re speaking my language

Where’s my fucking candy?