“Acts of God” = weather modification
I aged 20 years overnight
This is why I’m not allowed to open up social media first thing in the morning…
But I mean I did…. open pandora’s box
I know you already know cuz the sky is burning
I wonder how many souls are burning in the sun
Isn’t that where we come from?
I got in trouble for sharing my pigtails? Cuz I’m the only one not allowed to be in a swimsuit or showing any skin? My video is in apeel – APPEAL
Meanwhile, Sports Illustrated popped up on my feed, and they got blocked immediately
Rules for me, not thee
TIRED TIRED TIRED OF THE PENALTIES
I’D RATHER STARE AT THE SUN UNTIL I GO BLIND
Wait….
My pigtails make me look 20
But my personality makes it like I never grew up
The wrinkles are a minor inconvenience
You can see through time
Over 20 years has passed since I wrote you a love letter and I’m still dreaming about kissing you
I think that matters more than the hair loss personally
And I know he’s getting older too
He finally recognized I ain’t that much older than him
AND I HATE WHEN HE POINTS IT OUT
Yeah so what? I fell from the heaven’s before you. I’m high-speed.
Had to get a running start tis all…
Stop being so pedofile
Go buy me some chocolate and pads
I feel that thang coming on…
AND I GOT A PENALTY FOR RESPONDING TO SOMEONE BY SAYING “GROSS”
YOU MAKE ME HATE YOUUUUUUUU
Anyhoo I like the guy who doesn’t write me poetry
And that one I never met
The one at the local shop
Maybe the one driving the Teslar?
Now I’m starting to think the Devil is God
No not a God
The one and only God
And God God is down here on earth <potentially> with imposter syndrome?
Which is ironic since he diagnosis people with imposter syndrome?
It’s a lot to take on
Like a Soldier realizing all the wars are manufactured
We all struggle with purpose
I interrupted a guy having a convo with his technician, I just had to add my two cents, and now his phone number is in my wallet?
But I’m too sick to call?
And by the time I do it’ll be too late?
So why bother at all?
My time is as valuable as his time
My reasons, my health
But to HIM, the one who has built a world of lines where him and I reside, we’re in that world and this one simultaneously; two places at once.
Just sorted that.
He knows how much I like black holes
*hi*
(I don’t believe in them btw, hope this helps)
(Heyyyy I was denouncing evolution in 8th grade)
I said the Big Bang wasn’t real in 2nd grade
I was 5 denouncing the distance of the sun
“How do you know it is so far away”
“We shone a light on the wall”
“So you ain’t never been”
*feels the sun burning me”
“How many miles”
“89 million”
“Yeah that’s too far”
“It’s right there….”
LOCALLY
My feet aren’t swollen after two doses 🥹
Go to the animal feed if that is what you need
Just do it
Prob be cheaper anyway…
Your insurance won’t cover it (and I am a vet)
LAUGHS IN INSANITY
DO LOVE YOU TODAY
Red pill or blue?
Green?
Heyyy that’s not blue… (or red)
Vaccine injury update
It’s very rare to find a woke doc inside the VA but i’ve done did
And this is HUGE
the fact that it is in my records officially as a vaccine injury – despite the informed consent and non-traditional forms of treatment
And my new doctor has forbidden me to eat any meat or dairy (this should please the vegan?)
I’m not allowed – furthermore – she removed me from my protein shake regime that the nutritionist had put me on – it has carriage in it or something (I’m not correcting the AI)
(More info I was given about my vaccine injury)
She was waving a book around, “i can’t get the VA on board, it’s not FDA approved, but you won’t need to go to the feed store”
And of course, I’ll have to pay out of pocket for the treatments
I won’t repeat everything said but it makes us sound super paranoid – but she unplugged from the Matrix
I specifically asked do I need to give up my medicinal and she said no
New treatment plan
She stated the international markets are okay to shop at, she specifically mentioned “black rice”
And now I’m wondering if I’ve ever even had black rice?
But you know, Walmart tried to kill me while I was paying for a membership
And it’s not hearsay because they sent me two emails telling me I was potentially exposed to E. coli and heavy metals
But to finally get someone inside, the VA to ACKNOWLEDGE and treat me for vaccine injury is huge, she also mentioned cancer
She doesn’t want it turning into cancer
I’m still losing weight but my labs look good, my kidneys, my liver
I’m on 10% energy – vaccine injury
(it is a side effect) (i’m not lazy)
I gotta give up the meat and the cheese, but I can keep the weed (legally)
no processed foods and I gotta go back in a few months. I didn’t see any mention of coffee on the list so we’re gonna have to have that discussion soon because I need to know, can I have coffee still?
Important stuffs
Anyway, I’m not in remission yet but my doctor has hooked me up with a connect that’s gonna get me ivermectin and I don’t gotta go to the feed store.
There’s also the long list from Amazon that I need to shop
Once I get my hands on the goods, and we’re looking roughly $300+ to start, and that’s not counting the grocery shopping for “the good food items”
Bananas are best when they’ve gone bad (you know when they’re mushy) that’s when they’re highest in whatever it was she said that was in there that I need (fiber?)
And I’m absolutely not allowed to do any more amoxicillin, she says that destroys my gut health
Cuz I broke out in a rash from the 2000mg that the dentist gave me
And had a two day migraine
She said cereal is bad
I’m not allowed cereal
I gotta get my diet under control if I don’t wanna die
(In summary: i don’t wanna die)
Oh you stayed?
From right now – no filter (but I swear they apply some sort of ugly filter when you don’t use a filter at all to try to force you to use a filter instead, but then I look in the mirror and I think it’s worse)
Ack
I’m going to a salon soon and I’m gonna see if they can remove some of these sunspots from my face and wrinkles (how much does Botox cost? Should I get a breast implant? Should I just pay off my ride?)
Byeee for now (and I really really really wanna catch up on y’all’s blogs. I really do. I really wanna go for a walk around the neighborhood. There’s so much I would like to be able to do and I just can’t?)
And I’m not autistic so you can let him know I’m not autistic but I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16
(I talk to dead people) (don’t tell him)
GA DANG I LUV MY RIDE
WHOSE CALLING SHOTGUN?
GET IN
WE ROLLIN’ OUT
Heyyy pssst
*light language involved used as a form of artistic expression and not hurting anyone*
Remember, I told you I was trying to sort out my real life because it’s priority?
Well, I might be moving to Colorado
I gotta pray about it and sleep on it and all that shit but my heart is pretty much set on going to Colorado because the mountains have been calling me and I’ve been lost in purgatory and not exactly sure the direction I want to go until I reached out to my Chaplain and now my Compass is starting to turn to that direction, which is great because I was already considering Montana or Utah or somewhere out of the south because I’m like literally fucking done with the south like I’m done with the fucking south, you know
I spent time in Colorado when I was working in the military, I fell in love with the mountains and got married to them
They’re calling me home….
Six months is all you need to become someone new, remember? only I’ve got about five months left to make my move 🙂
Lease is up in July and takes about 30 days to close
I need a big big change
Homeowner sounds nice
Being in remission sounds nice
Getting his digits before either of us move or die sounds even nicer
I just threw the metaphorical dice
I mean, I have been praying for it
Direction
A husband
Clean bill of health for my second half
I told my chaplain that when I train it’s like I’m climbing mountains, but keeping my heart rate low
Like them people in the caves when they watch their friends die, they have to stay calm or they’ll die too
But I’m not in a cave. I’m normally just on the treadmill or my rebounder. Keeping my heart-rate low
Starting to hold weights and shit over my head, you know, calisthenics or whatever because my heart is not strong enough to do things
And it’s amazing how much my body is responding to the things I’m doing I feel like I’m gaining superpowers, even though I’m just going back to the basics of what the army taught me
today I woke up and got on the treadmill for 30 minutes and man it felt so fucking good to just have all that time remaining in the morning to haven’t even had coffee yet and I’ve already hydrated with coconut water and fitness and I was like “fuck it’s only 7:30 AM”
I have so much time to figure out my life when I’m not trying to fucking push out content on social media for it to be NOT EVEN RECOMMENDED IN THE FOR YOU FEED
OH YEAH
I was given no warning that it had been shadowbanned and thus the time to appeal it had expired
Oh yeah
You know they keep over 50% of the profits you make them all the while beating you down
I don’t need social media. I need a fucking husband.
And find a house to buy and some land and then I got to fucking pack all of my things and move across country all the while mourning the loss of a relationship with a guy I never even got cause Walmart tried to fucking kill me twice and so I’ve already ended my subscription with them and deleted my fucking account and the place I go shopping now doesn’t have any recalls at all
And I’m currently going through my fifth spiritual awakening, that’s why 5 inches of snow was dumped on my fucking head during my blood sister’s death anniversary
M’KAY
I also wrote a poem or two
I’ll probably share those in a different post.
when I calm down
from the constant atrocities
I told my chaplain I was lost in purgatory and running from the devil
Once I get to Colorado, I can get baptized again cause he baptized me in basic training, you know, but he would probably drive down to Florida to give me a baptism if I asked for it
I was praying for direction and guidance and I’m back in my chaplain’s life
I’m reconnecting with my aunt again
She definitely will help me in the homebuying process you know just the moral support of it as well as my chaplain who’s already involved
sleeping beauty they make it look all cute when someone’s being disassociative and a guy comes and wakes you up from some fucking spell you know, but in reality, that’s not how it works
I knew that he was everything that I would ever want and simultaneously built my wall so high before I got here. I don’t know,I didn’t want to drown someone while I was drowning but the reason I’m drowning is cause I needed him. It’s complicated whatever I’ve got to chill the fuck out there are lessons to be learned here.
I’ll be carving in the mountains your name
Maybe one day I’ll have my legends of the fall bear moment
But hopefully we won’t have to deal with anything like that but hot chocolate and a fireplace?
maybe just the hot chocolate
I don’t know if dying opened up some super awareness inside of me, but I can see all the time all around me the many ways in which you could die
The army trained me to be observant and maybe I’m just too observant you know because when I got a brain injury, it cracked open the light and I see everything now
In fractals
Isn’t it harder to breathe because I remember it being really hard to breathe in Colorado and that was before I got a heart and lung injury
I didn’t stay long enough to get acquainted. I was only there a week, but I mean I was there long enough to get married to the mountains.
The Great Outdoors are calling me
I’m dying down my social networks for a bit so I can focus on my real life, but I may bring you some updates on my blog, where I am also shadowbanned
It just means I’m doing something right because Type O Negative (a rock band) was banned from Germany and now Germany worships that band
Imagine being told you can’t perform in a country and that you’re not allowed back
or how Edgar Allan Poe couldn’t get any of his writings published because they too shadowbanned him
*laughs insanely*
I still have some of his words tattooed on me
On my ribcage
Where it felt like a crucifixion and I kept telling my fucking tattoo artist, I wanted to fucking kill her so you know
I was like maybe we should just stop here and have it half done and she’s like I’ll be done soon. I was like I need a break and I had to have been her worst client but we made it through together.
Even with my hate and all
she probably even would-of tattooed me again because we were friends forever after that on Facebook and everything you know
but I just now got back on Facebook my God I’ve been approving people from six years ago
I don’t know who’s who anymore
Except some faces are really familiar and I’m so glad to be back in these haunted halls
Some people are responding to my “oh hi” and some people haven’t even been on their own profiles in 10,000 years and other people are wondering where they’re at but I’m dropping “I’m still alive” postings anyway
Now I have you know bands that I love looking at my fucking story on Facebook and I’m like why aren’t they on TikTok seriously though I mean, why aren’t they on TikTok?
Todd Kerns, you know who plays bass for slash and Kev from Candlebox, I mean, I like this person, I once was
Trent Reznor still has me as his friend because he’s been deleting people. He’s not at his maximum 5K anymore, but I didn’t get pulled or culled
*would die*
Crosby @ VAST you know was full, but I sent a friend request. Of course he immediately approved me.
And there are others and more
This is the music i miss and adore
The people
Cev from Skinny Puppy
We friends
I mean, they know I’m alive and I’m so glad they’re fucking alive because fires be burning everywhere huh?
Kind of feels nice to be welcomed back in my own yard and have like people care that I’m there
Family, friends, and so on
I was gone for six years. They didn’t delete me and I’m gonna disappear again.
OK, some have not forgiven me OK like Alex he has not forgiven me from removing him from my Instagram or probably talking to his ex
Well he doesn’t remove me when I go follow Unfollow follow back and he also doesn’t respond to any of my comments or messages I send him even though I know he’s fucking reading them likely OK
He’s still my muse
I have no ill will
Against my great music loves
Lol
I couldn’t imagine showing up at a gig though and being banned from it like no you’re not welcome here that would be – I don’t know – humiliating and life ending – if life gets that bad for me where the musicians I support don’t want me to come to their gigs then Someone needs to come have a talk with me or something
That’s not reality though OK

I prob thought i’d be a ghost in my own hometown
People want me to haunt them
I have to try to recover my account at some point, but I’ll just wait until I completely lose access before I attempt that because right now I can still contact Mark Z.
I don’t know if him and I are friends or if I’m just following him over there, but it’s his official one and he’s responded to me before in the past you know, but I haven’t been over there in six years so he ain’t seen me in a minute, but I’ve already been active on his profiles already since I’ve been back.
U follow?
I posted “I’m here, but I don’t know for how long”
Hard to say goodbye to ends
Likely disappear again
I like drifting in the wind
I like meeting new friends
I might try again….
I’m on the mend
I mighta slightly begged him to return to Facebook
It’s weird though, because when Trent Reznor got off Facebook, so did I, but neither one of us really left
🙂
Symbiotic
I mean, I did ask him to marry me on his fucking message board when I was like 16 or something and he was flattered and that has to be archived somewhere with my username Delia
Things don’t really last forever on the Internet like we were told though
I was kind of being silly and asked him a serious question afterwards and he really enjoyed the music questions that I asked him, which I can’t recall at the moment and I’m sure I screenshot it it at some point, but you know where are those files
I haven’t even met Trent Reznor yet and I worry I’ll cry when I meet him
What is he on, like baby number six with MariQueen? 7?
Life is just totally unfair sometimes
Cause I would’ve had seven babies with some guy if he wanted seven babies with me and now I’m fucking nearly dead
Cause he didn’t have fucking nearly 7 babies with me!!!!
We could have started at 13!
WTF!!!!!!!!
Stole my goTdamn life!!!!!!
Made me fucking wait until it was too late!!!!
I hate the fucking nihilism in this world, and you know I’ll be dropping all the complaints into my chaplains inbox
He still loves me after all this time
I don’t even know where I go when I get lost. I just say I’ve been in purgatory.
I think if I get a watch with a compass, I’ll feel a lot more grounded. You know honestly it’s just back to the basics. That’s what I keep telling myself.
Standing on first base
I was in Trent’s fanclub
Bring back message boards and fanclubs
NO ADS
People were fucking mean to me on the NIN board but not Trent
All fans are mean to me cause I hang out with the bands
“I’m with the band”
I’m legit the kinda fan they want at shows
I feel them notes
Probably what brought me to this hell
Vanity
And I know that men would probably prefer if I wore makeup and dyed my hair, but there’s also the sense of that they get to see me in whatever chaotic state I choose to be in
and right now it’s
“I might be turning into a white cub”
Always a cub, never a cougar
Cuz some guy asked my age once when older (but i look so young?) and he said i was a cub still
Yep and now always
Stop asking me my age when I’m working so hard to look younger than the new generation who look as old as me already right
?!?
It’s crazy though because they’re 30 they already got rid of their sex organs and turned gray so they actually have to dye their fucking hair
And they don’t want kids because they’re fucking nihilist
“Life’s too expensive” they claim
“I’m depressed, that’s child abuse”
Whatever propaganda trend they follow – it all leads to nihilism like a black hole
We just got our hot water back and this is what I look like living through a fucking winter storm without hot water for over a week
I’m basically exhausted living in this apartment because there’s always something fucking wrong
I had the heat out for a week during the storm. I had the toilet out for a week during Thanksgiving now I had the hot water out during the blizzard.
I am not where I’m meant to be
Cancer still grows in low gravity and mold it’s on the ISS
And they plan to drop it in the fucking ocean by the way
“We don’t know why the fish are dying”
Well, for one you need to stop over fishing
And you need to start putting your biggest catch back
I’m still friends with some of my past lovers oh my
I must’ve been not that bad of a girlfriend
Cuz they married n all
And i’m still over here “single never married”
But surely they’re rooting for me?
it’s crazy how I distance myself so far from people and they’re like an email away?
A phone call?
If I could only remember?
How to keep a log?
How to not lock yourself out of your own accounts?
Don’t uninstall TikTok if you wanna reinstall it back
Luckily, I still had it downloaded on my Samsung tablet, but I had to update it so it wasn’t even in sync with my Apple one which I found that my bio wasn’t concurrent
So who knows if it’s accurate or not cause I can update it on one and it won’t update on the other
I thought we got rid of segregation, but man I mean literally what the fuck
I told my chaplain I was trying to get clean and he asked me what from what kind of drugs and I was dropping the seven sins like they were hot
I don’t drink and I’m trying to quit medicinal, but he doesn’t care that I do medicinal and I don’t do drugs
Just trying to cleanse the devil out of me
And the MOLD
People keep trying to ask me what kind of cancer I’ve got even though I’m like pre cancerous you know and mold is cancer. It’s hard to get through to them because people’s labs are fine up until they’re like stage four or some shit anyway right
I have an appointment coming up with my doctor and I may request a PET scan, but I’m not going under for anything. I’m basically denying any kind of fucking service.
My body, my choice
The VA don’t seem to understand
Cause they seem like they might start forcing vaccines on people before they enter
And then try to keep your benefits from you if you don’t get the vaccine to enter, and I can just see like a revolution happening that I’m not even gonna be part of
Like oh yeah
What’s next you gonna try and hold me down and give it to me
The millennials, Gen Z?
Try and hold me down?
Gen X?
The most dangerous generation to ever exist?
Is that spit on me?
Did you just fucking ghost me?
It’s weird being a fallen angel cause it’s like I have the keys to heaven and hell
But I wanna make it home to heaven
But i’m caught up in all these sins
Hard to explain to people I’m trying to get clean from my past
my chaplain instantly understood though you know I’m just going through a spiritual cleansing. I wasn’t sure what fucking number I was on four or five but I just had 5 inches of snow dumped on my head so I’m pretty certain I’m in my fifth awakening.
This is the Sunshine state
The second level of hell
And it just froze
*hi*
When something is so hot it’s actually cold and vice versa
You can’t tell if an object is round or flat in deep space
I watched a demonstration
I also learned that the moon landings were rehearsed by a very good director here on earth and that famous quote that Neil said actually was recording on earth because you know we didn’t have a fucking landline from earth to the moon or any sort of communication communications, you know like that
Also they drove through the Van Allen belt, but not one of them got cancer, but everybody on earth has cancer but them?
I dunno
My conspiracy knows no bounds
I got more rounds to fire
I need to get off social media so I can focus on getting my real life in order
But also, I’m nearly locked out of all of my accounts and some of that is my own fault and some of that is our governments
The New World order has been taken over
And I’m just like is there coffee or hot chocolate?
if the neighbor gave me a cup of coffee with, “will you be my valentine” written on it, the answer would most definitely be yes?
He thinks I’m running away from him, but I’m running away from everybody
It’s literally what I’m training my body for, to climb a fucking mountain and now I have a good chance to do that especially if I do move somewhere where there are fucking mountains, you know
Only, i can barely run around the block
But I’m so proud of how far my body has come, from wearing a heart monitor and being on bedrest, to packin my bags again and potentially buying a fucking house?
i’ve been approved for a whopping 300k but i DO NOT want to go that high
And I need to be able to afford the property taxes
So it might be a fixer-upper
I’ve got five months to sort shit and I don’t want to be in another lease
I think I’m gonna uninstall it again
And taking a LONG social media break
Maybe permanently like some of my friends have done
Never heard from them again
Hey, some of them disappeared so much their own family hasn’t heard from them
And yeah, they told me they were disappearing and they did pop out a couple times to say hi to me you know, but those were the last times
it inspires me to get off-line too for good
It’s big bro we’re running from lol
The politics
The arts
The science
Society
YOU WERE TRIED AND YOU WERE FOUND WANTON
Imagine getting to buy 1 to 5 acres anywhere in the United States that you wanted if you could just fucking find some direction
Of all the things someone could do with their money, you know
I feel like a SIM, just give me the land and we’ll go from there 
I just feel like any move I make is gonna be the wrong move because this is hell.
They have sucked all incentives out of doing anything in society
by the time you get your vehicle paid off you need to get another one. It’s gonna take the same amount of time so you’re just basically renting forever and I don’t even wanna play my PlayStation anymore cause if I don’t have the membership, I don’t have access to the games that I’m paying for so I’m basically just renting them forever And now I’m getting ready to sell my fucking PlayStation
I kept thinking getting a computer would be better, but they don’t even have SimCity anymore
it’s all pay to play
*yawn boring
Back to cards and board games
Playing in the dirt
Letting my hellhound stay out so long we both were getting frostbite
It was snowing in hell
I mean the sunshine state 2nd level of hell
I was in level 7
Now level 2
And on awakening number 5
Wait, something ain’t adding up
Or is it?
Could you explain dimensions to me like I’m a child?
My brain relies on signals and chemicals to navigate
People breathe in dead air and caves
People climb mountains and die from the cold weather or fall off cliffs
I just wanna start a garden. I know that sounds boring, but it’s complicated growing your own food. It’s also magical but it’s not easy work being self reliant and sufficient but it’s the life I wanna build
Upgrade to premium to remove ads?
Instant re-uninstall
The government is out of control
No NEW WORLD ORDER
I did not vote for this
In fact, the last time I voted, I was warning against Trump apparently and that was a long time ago because the last time I voted was Gary Johnson (twice)
There was an attempt to go vote for another third-party, but when I made it to the school, I nearly committed suicide so I turned around and came back home and now I’ve you know quit politics altogether and that was prior to Obama – i didn’t vote for Obama. I voted for the other guy you know – the military war vet now dead
Yeah him
Johnson was my last real goal at change
They took away our rights with the Bush signing statements
I didn’t vote for him either
I voted for Al Gore
I’ve denounced science 
I think I’m done with social media too
Like come find me in the real world in some well kept tiny little coffee shop in the corner reading spoken word
I’d still rather not read from my phone and fuck up in front of you
You get to see the behind-the-scenes in real time
The Bloopers
Or maybe I read my lines from an actual journal or book but never from the fucking phone or tablet no no probably not even a fucking monitor prompt or whatever they’re called Teleprompter huh?
if they keep cutting down the trees out here, I’m not responsible for how I’m gonna respond
They’re turning Florida into a concrete city 
They don’t clean
Florida has a mold issue
But I learned that it even grows in space so is less oxygen gonna be good for me 
All them taxes?
I want to pay my home off in 15
I still would rather buy land and put a new manufactured home on it
You can buy a brand new one starting at $43,000
that’s less than a new Jeep or ride
It’s 2 AM so technically I can start having coffee right because I’m not allowed to have it past noon and I’d probably go back to sleep at least from 5 to 9 AM but then that means I would fuck up my entire morning routine of working out but sometimes it’s nice to get sleep during that period. Cause it’s really my favorite time to sleep is when the sun is coming up And I really do.
Sleep
Like now – which i should be doing
But maybe the devil is nocturnal
This is a good time to poison him
I called my nurse again and said I was having difficulty breathing again so she refilled my prescription and I’ll be seeing my doctor soon but the VA is trying to take her from me
The one that took me four years to get to
I swear when I drop a lawsuit on the VA for medical misdiagnose and medical mistreatment, it’s gonna be a long list of female doctors
And nurses
And I don’t forget their fucking faces or names
My new doctor slowly turned her chair around and was like “whoa” and I was like “they’re the reason I’m nearly dead”
It was the way she slow extended her hands
Like “i’m not your enemy” but my vibe is “you kinda are”
I’m probably to blame for crawling in the hole, but they’re definitely to blame for dropping me on my fucking head and gaslighting me the entire fucking time
Stop asking me what’s wrong with me OK just know I’ve got some health issues going on and it’s not contagious. You’re not gonna fucking catch it.
It’s just there’s another doctor out there that they shut up and he says that cancer does spread. It is contagious can spread and many people when they get it cut out of them that actually makes it worse. It makes it spread. That’s why the cancer always comes back you know so I don’t want anybody cutting on me and I’ll try to eradicate it with some sunshine and prayer and eat healthy and all that but otherwise I’m choosing hospice I’m done with doctors.
And seeing as I’m a really good combat medic, I will take care of my own self to the end. I will be my own hospice care in my own house wherever I decide to die because I should have that choice to be able to die in my own motherfucking home
And these people we be leasing from they seem to forget that this is our fucking residence when our name is on it and they keep coming up with all these little stupid rules on how they can invade our privacy. No, I’m fucking done. OK I’m having medical emergencies. I’m dying get the fuck out of my house. Stop with your bullshit 24 hour fucking inspections or lawsuit is coming on you too.
CALL THE FUCKING COPS
YOU AIN’T COMING IN
GEN X OVER AND OUT
made it to 47!!
made it to 47!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh woe is me!!!!! woke up crying!!!!
full video (not of me crying): https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP81x1chT/
Dear Hacker (with laughs and love)
caught me jerking off huh?
gonna share it with all my family and friends huh?
go for it
Standing by….
you already know all the details right? no need for me to fill it out for you?
….
first of all, it’s either Angel or SGT Ross
i even respond to “bitch” or ‘Delia’
…
… they prob would be swept away – with joy
… some kind of stupid moron… not a “god”
…if he was God, he would know I am an Angel without any mercy?
or the ability to behave?
be notified and burn in hell
… it WAS NOT SENT INTERNALLY (but how the fuck was my private email sold)
demented maybe but not perverted
i don’t do porn
i barely get off?
i do not own a “toy”
i’m suicidal
i do not care what you have on me
now i have a reason to go to the cops
maybe propose
find me a hubby
i choose the medical emergency and the bear…
you can tell the stupid hacker to get another job
im dead inside
im poor
and im sick of the internet
and changing my passwords every 5 minutes
and putting my phone on lockdown
i said android was hacked but it was also at&t and apple
cuz
i woke up sickly, hence moody? pick a mood?
all of the above
and below?
it’s from a favorite store which is no longer a favorite store (my moods shift fast)
it’s more like the stores shifting and i’m staying behind
handbook for the nearly recently deceased (clothing too)
ivy’s dead (but im accidentally growing sunflowers outside)
tmi for sure…
woke up overheating
i don’t know if it was the poisoned donuts, the mold, or “extra strong medicine”
but i threw up and peed a little on myself
had the cops called on me and peed on myself all in the same week yah?
and this is why i prefer not being homeless cuz i took a sit down semi cold shower to “calm down”
like these are the exact times to calm down
when your body feels like it is dying
and you’re throwing up
but this medicine is a lot like chemotherapy
and the mold will make you lose your hair
i also threw up the other day and there were no donuts
i get to blame the donuts this time tho
partially
and the air purifier was red when i woke up sweating
so the devil was trying to possess me for sure
those always require a sit down shower after
if i was dreaming i woke up throwing up so there’s no way to recall
i went to bed nice and clean and woke up pissing myself
“not normal today”
went to bed clean, woke up sour
all in an angel’s day work…
“i can’t trust you”
well you could start by feeding me food that doesn’t make me shit myself m’kay
dying is humiliating
i’m not gonna sing a hymn
i’m probably gonna cry
in between the laughing like now
it’s hilarious that doctors try n convince me i got some worth “looks wise” (while sitting on an mri table) (even tho im home pissing myself)
like i would lock my husband out of the house…
“no you can’t come in right now”
“no im not cheating on you”
i don’t think first rounds of dating would go very well…
“so how do you spend your time”
“writing and shitting myself”
so it’s not a normal day
this isn’t like a common thing
in hindsight, i could be improving?
it attaches to your cell walls but i think my body just disposed of like a lot everywhere
all ends
at once
they said it “stunk down there in the cave”
he loss use of his legs
probably shit himself
and the piss tears sweat crying
i know
Facebook let Netflix see user DMs to help them tailor content as part of a close collaboration between the two tech giants, new court documents claims
Newly unsealed court documents that were filed as part of a major anti-trust lawsuit against Meta appear to have exposed the intricate relationship between two of Silicon Valley’s biggest players.
— Read on www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/facebook-let-netflix-see-user-dms-to-help-them-tailor-content-as-part-of-a-close-collaboration-between-the-two-tech-giants-new-court-documents-claims/ar-BB1kVvz5
picture this
the mold inspector found mold
everywhere
he needs me to vacate the unit (and the senior dog) 6 hours minimum
at some point
i said “i hope soon”
and when showing him spots i think it is (or have bleached it)
“oh yeah i see it” as he snaps a photo
“well the landlord is in on it now”
so – the mold inspector will be back to do “all sorts of stuff” “everywhere”
im thinking i need a 1 day vaca at the motel
but id prob catch bed bugs
and have an even bigger problem
i don’t have any friends to “go hang out with”
id be embarrassed the way Sam acts like a zombie
“why haven’t you put him down” they’d say
“convenience kill” according to his vet…
so the dog’s health is more important than mine
im sorry what was this post about
oh… mold
must vacate to remediate
i got the validation i need
and the Mold Masters quoted me nearly $600 to “test the air and send to lab” so im glad the landlord IS involved now cuz like i cant run the air conditioning unit in FLORIDA
this box is a fucking coffin
you’ve been a dropout ever since you’ve been seventeen
…
theme song of the decade (again)
(im also very responsive to 90s music)
i did… in fact… drop out at 17 (got pregnant by a predator) (ooops)
(but i got my GED before i would have graduated highschool)
(and took a college admissions exam while breast feeding in the parking lot on breaks)
(college is a scam met with government furloughs and hiring freezes)
(my loans were forgiven)
(i hope my sins too)
the doc wasn’t late…
“March 21” does not mean Monday
still… i’ve been idling by
could have gone and seen Blue
Blue is for sale – just not to me
sometimes the devil has too many skeletons in his closet and buried under the tree and he doesnt want an oracle to see (images)
*closes eyes*
“is the scary bad man gone”
“…that wasn’t a man honey, that was a monster”
“he looked like a man to me…”
“ill be free the rest of the week”
“no i cant today, that appt i thought i had monday is today”
“apparently march 21 means march 21”
but my brain still read “monday”
robot < mars > me
i wish i were reliable and trustworthy
they all wanna burn me at the stake (again)
(but it’s illegal)
some doors lead straight to a cliff
there’s a door, that leads straight off to the cliffs
…
the mold got you contemplating jumping!?!
still blame me for being alive?
for breathing?
cliffs mostly
is there a suicide hotline for trying to buy a home?
mold specialist said landlord wont really do anything about it “there isnt really a law”
and the estimate is around $600 for them to “test the air” and “send to lab”
honey, the house is sick
im sick
stay back
him: “wtf did you do while i was gone for 6 months”
me: it was 10,000 years
*witch burning*
the curse would not have been released if they hadn’t built on the damn swamps
“natural aquifers”
“over development”
“globalism”
i knew the hope would be gone as soon as it came
im not wanted in their city
cockroaches and mold
my worth im told
daddy isn’t the best daddy in the world anymore
this is why we pay for a third party tho?
so they cant not sell you a house cuz “they dont like you”
so the realtor can be left on read instead of me?
me: “don’t give up”
the world: “give up”
tricky slopes
maybe they just dont want a vet there, with them bodies buried out back?
by the birdhouse?
i know too much?
them: “whats the combo to the lock”
me: “i didnt even know we had a lock”
“maybe dont bash my head into the concrete”
“cant narc if you cant remember”
“cant find my keys, you know where those went off to”
also me: “oh i left them right where i said i would forget”
you’re gonna forget you left them there…
i don’t know if that classifies me as an oracle or what
but like i know im gonna always do something wrong
at least i can laugh about losing my mind
the neighbor thinks im happy
the laughter just goes on and on you know
followed by the cries…
maybe the cold feet weren’t mine
“i won’t”…”keep trying…” “ghosted me”
daddy probably has skeletons in his closet
and buried in the backyard
people dont realize how many people have died before them
in the same houses they sleep in on the new carpet growing mold within
“it’s in the air” cuz they cut down the wrong trees
said “build here”
and when the good doctor was diagnosing folks with “sick building syndrome” the chinese government shut him down, said no mo!
people werent allowed to know that the brand new building was built on unholy ground
and you get sick – go to the good doc who gaslights you and makes you worse – and your landlord will say “natural, you’re breathing”
but they put up all these plastic strips on the window that harbor mold and let the water pool around the edges
until the condos fall in
“nature”
“do not feed the wildlife”
everyone: *hunts them to extinction / watches them starve*
numbers and cliffs
i prayed for guidance about Blue
“should i look at more”
“should i go all in”
“it ticks all the box”
“including creepy”
the only thing i do not like is the high risk factor – but it is not a great flood
but a great fire
pick yer poison?
i mean the house is blue
“i thought you were gonna paint the hideous blue”
“the flames will ignore”
“well i think it’s kinda cute”
go all in huh?
it’s not quite “all in” but it is when you realize im taking on a pot of gold or dead bodies?
i got in the tub with cold feet but Sylvia was right (nearly) (and she should have took a bath instead of turning the stove) (still she was married to a psychopath and they love to steal our energy, time, and souls)
the feet were cold getting in but not getting out
and i sleep in various increments, i guess we should divorce? time for separate rooms? im loud?
it’s just i woke up wanting Blue – and that entire empire of “hmmm what is this” “where are the spy cams hidden”
(like aren’t you suppose to feel rested and less paranoid where you reside)
(i guess the paranoia will follow me through the war. i mean world)
i needed answers
i was like “literally a sign i will know is a sign”
so new numbers appeared
and i had just woke up at the “recommended sleep time” that the Insomniac coach gave me (yes it wants me to go to sleep at the times i keep waking up
but alas 222
and though they were speaking my language – i didn’t know the full meaning – just that it was meant for me (like all his lines)
if i start speaking in codes that even i don’t understand, i hope he will
because getting 555 and 222 from the uni
there are cheaper homes (hard to call a $100k dollar home “cheap”) and unfurnished
i literally have no idea how to decorate
i just know what i like and do not
and i like blue
out of the 14 homes he sent me based on all my demands
i have 3 people on my team working with me
got in the tub with cold feet but i didnt wake up that way
did you know blue was built the year i was born
i haven’t even seen her (physically) and im worried a dark colored rock is gonna steal her as soon as i do
nobody wants a fully furnished airbnb painted blue?
i wanna wake up and be that sim who has a 200k house to pay off
i wanna take a bath with the birds
but there are some amazing properties cheaper (on waaaayyyyy more land & unfurnished)
it’s just this one is “move in ready” seeing as i no longer have a pot to piss in
98% of everything i ever owned is gone
and the mold specialist called with some great tips
and i dont have to abandon my new wardrobe for fear of a “mold spore”
anyway hopes not up
prepared and willing to see more homes
if the dark rock fucks with me too much, i will get a fucking TENT
if i can still afford one after my tiny life savings was gobbled up by the Boomers to send to Ukraine and to pay for their homes on the cliffs!?! either way
remember how i told you they will back you off a cliff?
and then scold you for standing there?
if i move into another crappy moldy cockroach filled apt – with the potential of the ceiling caving in “cuz sometimes they do” (and he is “willing to come down to $1k monthly” that does not include amenities or the hoa’s for a 500ish sq ft condo cuz of the roaches tho they just “sprayed” and the unit “fully updated”
i squealed like a pig being gutted when i opened up the gorgeous brand new refrigerator and 3 cockroaches freaked out
me: “you need to spray again”
realtor who wants me to pay him $50 mo for an HOA “i can come down to 1000”
and im not allowed to rent a unit above $1200
but im allowed a fucking morg above that)
(nobody pushes bb in the corner but the boomers)
and all the houses are going for that with or without the furnishings
and i aint moving to Utah – not yet John
sorry
maybe the tub will float?
oh wait, calling for fire
but the whole of US is gonna flood but yer home eh
i mean, i hope the tub floats
sometimes if you pretend you don’t see the monsters they will leave you alone
i guess closing your eyes is a form of disassociation
im either all in or nothing at all (just a feeling)
like Florida will do what that other state just did
there are ways to fight back – without drawing blood
they may have taken our freedom of speech but not the spirit of the great eagle and what makes America so great!!!!! stop making shit so hard cuz you jelly!!!!!
they can’t take away our networking (word of mouth) and social bonds!
we werent born yesterday!
this isnt gonna go the way you want!!!!
i might could find some harmony in that tub out back
“im sorry, the owner changed their mind. nothing is for sale. but you can still eat the pizza”
the house has everything i need ready to go
i aint got no money to buy no washing machine dyer fridge stove microwave tv couch
i was coming with pillows and clothes (and an old senior dog)
p.s. im just trying to move out of the moldy cockroachy environment into a more suitable for dying habitat
it seems i may have to go all in for that
and since the boomers stole my retirement
i wont have any money to buy a stove
if a buy a house
“heyyyy ma we got a roof over our head but we aint eating!!!!!!”
but blue has everything i need right now – to move in
natural light. fertile garden. half acre. historic area. “fun stuff nearby”
pro tip: everyone wants to paint their shit blue now since it is a magical color
it has a new roof age 4
it aint tin!!!!!
ill give them exactly what they r asking
per Realtor guidance
(but also my loan provider says i can get up to $2k monthly)
Boomers say i need to earn $6k a month to live somewhere without the crime or cockroaches
or go “all in” or be homeless – i mean the odds are stacked against us fully chained
im losing my own “fertility” down the fucking toilet every 3 weeks – and just like Jackie I have a hard time letting go after effort has been put in – and bless her little heart seeing the realization with the ravens visiting
she will have to leave the eggs behind for the ravens
another harvest failed
ill drop poems when i aint busy trying to save my life
dying can be long and tedious sometimes
hence “assisted suicide”
but i don’t need anyone to “assist me”
i dont want anyone seeing me “bleed down there” or out my fucking brain and nostrils
there’s already a bird bath to feed the birds
“comes as is”
and yes the VA do inspections, this is legit
if God gave you a tiny pot of gold, what would you buy?
would you go all in?
Michigan Town Votes Out Entire Local Government, Immediately Changes Locks
Michigan Town Votes Out Entire Local Government, Immediately Changes Locks – RedState
— Read on redstate.com/terichristoph/2023/11/09/michigan-town-votes-out-entire-local-government-immediately-changes-locks-n2166107
folks waking up to the “this country was founded on immigration” propaganda – tired TIRED of everything being “Made in China”
we ain’t got yellow fever no mo!!!!
oh wow
did the value increase with the dead body or something?
it has had a lot of price decreases and the risk of floods here are low
5 unhealthy days in 5 years
and she was built the year i was born
she has passed through so many sales and hands
so people have died there?
she is on a half acre
gold and dead bodies could be buried there?
im ready to put an offer in but turns out i see ID tomorrow (she’s a good doctor but i aint in love with her or rescheduling)
no flooding, built the year i was born
well he has sent me 14 properties to look at
some really good ones
with lots of land
but he wanted to also show me a property “move in ready” “furnished” as i did request to look at them
it required him changing the 1-5 acres tho
to half or less…
sometimes there are too many doors
and i can get something less than the bigger amount
you know, closer to 100 or less?
go big or go home?
i don’t have anything to offer so there is nothing to lose?
the new roof is 4 years old
the stuff inside is a fucking headache
i aint sleeping on a bed people have been sinning in
but the tubs can be cleaned
half acre is plenty space for a small garden
i will install iron bars on the windows
iron gates…
yasss
install security
try not and get the urge to start digging holes in Florida in the middle of the night
cuz we all know what happens when you start digging holes…
comes as is
a bird bath right next to the outdoors porcelain claw bath
“comes as is, with dead bodies buried out back and all”
maybe i can keep a few things
like the “best dad ever” sign
for esthetics
but why is the blue house for sale?
is it the crime?
flooding?
can’t be used as a airbnb?
dead body outside under the tub?
taxes too high?
died?
i have so many questions but for 6k i could move somewhere more expensive and with more cockroaches with “sometimes the ceiling caves in”
im pretty certain i already worry about the cracks in the ceiling here – as much as the mold
or drop 10k on the blue house with a big screen “comes with everything” – including potentially a dead body under the tub in the fertile garden
i mean, i have so many questions like “when can we go see it”
and he is like “tomorrow”
and im like “prob too soon”
i hope i text “available to see blue today or tomorrow” at like 5 am
i mean the air has been so toxic i can’t make any decisions
2 bedroom 2 bath + 1 additional tub in the fertile garden out back
“can bathe with the birds and dead bodies”
him: “ominous”
oh wait, wrong story
the blue house is good enough to rent (or was)
and now they cant and for sale?
and it is $600 to do an inspection which includes the 10k
what is lurking behind the curtains (i mean rugs, pictures, tv?)
it would be all mine
an empire of dirt (and dead bodies?)
i need the blue house
that’s the same kind of tub morrison died in?
wait, what part of Florida was he born?
(Melbourne – not quite Melrose but close)
(same state)
i have looked at a lot of potential properties
and rental units too
mostly online and the paper and booklets
the mold has been killing me –
wtf is hiding under that tub and can the creeps at the park see?
“everything has to go”
“sorry not the best daddy sign, everything but that”
is daddy not the best daddy anymore, is that why the house is for sale?
omg the stories i could write in blue
in the tub outback
behind the fence
by the bird bath…
“the saddest girl in the world lives on Melrose”
“yeah she done gone and bought a house fully furnished “as is””
“…heard there were some dead bodies out back”
“…under the tub”
“…in the fertile garden”
them: “whaaaaaat”
sold my empire of shit to buy another’s?
if daddy has left me a lump sum of money in that house, he may in fact be the best dad ever
“nature is good for you”
it’s kind of traumatizing seeing and hearing what animals do to one another
i just don’t think i’m doing life right
it’s prob just a bored abandoned cat terrorizing everything God made cuz “it’s fun”, “it’s what i want”, “i can’t stop” cuz he’s no better than an animal and i just wish the neighbors that hear the laughing coming from the window is not of “fun nature”
they’d wanna kill me even more
the crime is still ongoing just fyi
the “bad dope” is in my backyard and when the state gave me CUD and i have to temp stop my pain and anxiety medication for 6 months – i wasn’t allowed to accept gifts or phone numbers no matter how tempting or good the offer smelled
they leave live rounds outside my window
and i ain’t never did them no wrong
‘cept that one time the gang leader living next door asked me if he could “live with me for 3 months” cuz him and his gal were splitting up (and i wasn’t gonna have to hear him beat his dog anymore through the walls) and he offered to help “catch me up on my ride” cuz “he knew i was behind” cuz we had some hurricanes out here that made us lose power for a weeks time and “love thy neighbor” (but not that much)- i’m just a big mouth (but not a narc) (or narC) and folks will never phish any info out me again ‘cept maybe “hell is real” “god is everywhere”
but i told him no immediately (despite having threatening letters by Capitol One that they were gonna start the process to remove my ride) – and so as if being sued by my creditors and having to go to court (for other debts) wasn’t humiliating enough – the judge demanding i take “3 full breaths before we start because i look like i want to jump from the bridge behind us”- and this was in a full courtroom
…as if that wasn’t humiliating enough i had to tell the thug “no” and he said “you can sleep on it” and i replied “i don’t need to”
and the devil got mad
said my back window would get broken
it did, the day before thanksgiving
and now all his friends cousins and brothers
make life hell for me
and there’s an undercover out here waiting on his promo
i won’t have anything to do with anyone
it ain’t just black people “we don’t talk like that”
i have ghosted my own father
why you so mad
“equal opportunity hater”
“we hate everyone”
so even if i wanted to break the law and “make peace” – i could fucking die from the w**d
I had a fucking addiction right in the middle of a gang war and like
i.dont.want.to.die.
uhm SOS?
it’s like every direction is trying to kill me and suicide is humane?
i couldnt breathe again and had to open a window and now the gangs think i aint living in fear
my third air purifier is arriving soon
30 days to close they say
i can’t manage to leave the very house that is killing me
this place aint worth dying for
these people
this town
im not gonna be able to breathe until i am far gone
i better stop laughing with the window open cuz dont wanna leave in a body bag
cop: “you need to move”
“not just from here”
“but all of Daytona”
“all of Daytona is bad”
“there’s not enough cops”
protection prayers please
i had nothing to do with this by the way: https://www.daytonabeachconnection.com/Daytona-Beach-Police-Department-makes-major-drug-bust–arrests-suspect–1-16524.html
i simply told a man “no” and bam – despite my lease stating and having a clause to protect women – i have video evidence and proof of so much shit i have been through
enough to make someone die by suicide
“you can’t make someone kill themself”
they took away the noise disturbance law in 2008
and some of the things in my head that would put me on tv – are justified
“we only hire Black people for a safe environment”
God is gonna know when im back home cuz im gonna be slinging the devils head outside the doh!
im sure one of the cats will wind up dead cuz 3 or 4 have been murdered with a vehicle by a neighbor – and i either hear the cries and see the aftermath and blood pooling – or discover them cold and dead
and i hate the things but not enough to kill them
im selling my new ps5 btw
i already know i likely probably break community guidelines and this is minority report
and you definitely in the minority if you believe in God
so JJ wanted me to know that he would not be released when the floods come
and im apparently welcome to visit anytime
he knows my greatest fear after all
them damn acorns
this is hilariously sad
he fired off so many rounds – over 1 acorn
“shots fired, shots fired” – has no idea from where – panics – targets the car in front of him 😬
but im called “paranoid and crazy” cuz i dont want to leave my house cuz anytime i do there is high risk for me to get trafficked, kidnapped, swamped, hid in a wall, or something worse 👀
and the traffic is insane
25 minutes just to back up from the parking lot at Publix and the overweight white millennial parked next to me nearly blew his lid
there are worse ways to die than John Jones – but so far – for me – his tops
only 10% of people hear voices in their head – and i hear whole symphonies of people who have died – singing – the most beautiful sounds
ive been collecting acorns around here
that squirrel or the lawnmower hasnt destroyed
it used to be a swamp out here but it was nearly all wiped out
i tell the trees and animals i worry for them
the remaining bits of trees that remain
but its private property and just cuz 70% of my income goes to living here – it dont mean i get a say about how things go
the blowing dirt and leaves around the parking lot for HOURS
DUMB
over pruning the trees
DUMB
i get triggered when i hear the chainsaw now 😭
“mature trees and landscaping” the website advertises
but they cut down a baby tree growing – and i planted more seed in the same spot – now another baby is growing
and they cut the arms off of the trees growing towards the sunlight
she was a sycamore
had survived two hurricanes
but not the chainsaw
i cried
i researched pruning – with pictures –
not to mention all the fish they killed dumping chems into the water
i called the EPA eventually and Allan laughed at me
i think i ended that call “i know you want love with a prostitute”
Allan was terrified for his life 🥶
i got a private call from
a cop “so youre not on your way to orlando right now”
*laughs*
“not at this precise moment, no….”
*laughs*
I bet Allan still thinks about me 🤩
*laughs*
cut down another tree – fire more shots at people cuz acorns are violent as hell
you ever had one hit you in the head?
you ain’t alive 👀
he wasn’t braking *trigger warning*
it was just the lights flickering
i thought (at first) he was braking (they finally pulled him out of the ocean)
but he drove through an iron gate to nosedive off the pier
he wasn’t braking
and i don’t know what bothers me more
the fact that he wasn’t hesitant or he was!?!?
i really have a hard time visiting (or sharing) any news sites cuz they are all plagued by ads eating your data, can’t scroll, can’t read, like picking flies off in Iraq when trying to eat
they will fucking swarm you
i watched him drive off that pier so much
never once was there a “sensitive content warning”
“participating in this activity could get you hurt”
i watched him drive off that pier doing only what i dare to dream to do….
he wasn’t hesititating
i would like to write a poem but words fail me
as i struggle with my own depression, my own identity, a place to belong in this world
but don’t hand your cards over to Satan
this might be his world
cuz i asked (while awake) for some clarity if this was “heaven or hell”
im like “yeah the sun feels nice – in limits – and we’re all eating one another to stay alive”
and i know we are suppose to work together
and i know we are born into a manmade prison cuz of his lustful nature
but I had a dream
and in that dream – i came to a realization, and stated to others i cannot recall or remember, in a frantic realization, “we’re in hell”
and it woke me up
but it’s just the tip of the iceberg potentially
and i don’t wanna be down in hell an eternity
i don’t like them odds
and those who worship the dark one make it so easy in society every step we turn to commit sin
i don’t want to live a life of sin and i do not comply with the social credit system
i DO sometimes think of driving off the pier
but man
you ever dove off a diving board and landed on your back?
was he knocked out when the car hit the water?
did he watch himself drown?
he wasn’t swearving
on a wet bridge
he didn’t seem intoxicated to me (maybe parasites)
i thought he was braking
but it was an optical illusion
just the car taking dips
i don’t think he wanted to be found
i don’t think he knew (or wanted) his ending broadcast on TikTok and social media
he didn’t want out, he didn’t want to be found
the only thing he regretted was his life
he didn’t regret having complete control over his ending (did he?)
were there regrets down there in those final moments?
did he struggle?
was he a gen x?
I NEED TO KNOW
i was approved (pro 2a)
im not allowed to pick her up til the 23rd tho
but i signed the atf form, i passed my background check
but I don’t have a carry permit so shall not be infringed upon until the 23rd and then I can go pick her up she’s already paid for and she’s mine and the serial number has already been confirmed
I’ve already bought her ammo and a lock case; I have personal ammo and I have ammo for the range 🙂
yee-haw
and wasn’t i a kid in a candy store
One of the workers offered me a job and some of the bystanders were very interested in what I bought and everyone told me that it was an excellent choice and it’s a great starter gun 🙂
and it’s made in the usa
he said it fit my hand nicely
i got a picture of her 🙂
this ain’t no bb gun BB
new starter gun 🙂
couldn’t decide between a 38 special, a 9mm, or this 40
she comes with two 14 round magazines in the box 🙂
gotta get to the range soon – got ammo for that
and these hollow points that “spread out”
happies
scored this lock box for ten bucks and he made sure the size would fit by holding my gun to the box
pick her up soon 🙂
in Florida you no longer need a carry permit but if you wanna walk out with your weapons the same way you buy them you do
a little asmr gun unboxing at the store 🙂
i can’t promote anything gun related or i will get penalized and my account with an “armed and dangerous” flag 🙄
and possibly banned
because everything is Made in China but my fucking gun
I have been eyeing the revolvers though
and tho i have a soft spot for shotguns i dunno if i can handle kickback currently
I need to get my carry permit and I want to get to the range so I can get familiar with my weapon and be a responsible gun owner 🙂
guns be selling out fast and im jumping on that train
the boys were asking specific questions about what i bought
at one point i stated i knew how to drive but not familiar with all the models lol
I don’t recall firing a 40 or a 38 special in the army but a 9mm and an M-16 A2 rifle and live grenades and grenade launcher and all sorts of other shit I can’t remember yes 🤪
I was very efficiently trained to take my weapons apart in the dark including the firing pin and put them back together within a certain timeframe and wearing my gas mask
today I went and bought a gun and got a job offer
had several people tell me it was a good choice!!
i was like “i know i could buy a 9mil at this price but i wanted something a little smaller”
“i wanted a 38 but this kept catching my eye”
“there was three, and then two, and now there is one”
*laughter*
i just leveled up my game
and i need to refresh the skill sets i already have programmed in me
does it not come with a safety switch – lol
oh no
IS THERE REALLY NO SAFETY
babe why did you let me shop for a week for guns only to select one at 4:20 am without a safety switch
BABE
it’s his fault that he’s not here taking care of me and I selected something that I’m not familiar with or that I’ve ever been trained with
HIS FAULT
GOOD CHOICE THEY SAID
“don’t shoot yourself in the foot” was never once heard
hit the like button if you want to see how my range adventures go and I can’t post about this shit anywhere else on social media
I struggled getting the grenade launcher loaded in basic training
but once I did my drill sergeant was so impressed and he said I was the only one that hit the target which were tanks far far out but I used up nearly all my time to get it loaded
and you’re not allowed to throw the live grenade like a baseball and so it didn’t go very far and we had to jump in the hole the first time lmao
“I thought you played baseball” my drill sergeant shouted
“get in the hole”
another boomer with…
another boomer with a flooded house
awe
you stole so much from GenX, how’s that working out for you now?
other countries that follow these ridiculous policies are also tanking
– their Gen X got hit the worst too…
i hope the boomers get what’s coming: hell
an entire generation HATES you (minus one or two sheeple)
the way society has ghosted us
burn burn burn
go ahead and penalize me
been getting a lot of “we don’t talk like that”, “that’s offensive” and I’m here to remind you that I’m Gen X and don’t give a fuck
you will not silence or condition me
The more you try to silence me the more I want to get one of those things you talk into so people can hear you in a crowd
go on and push the last fuck outta me
I already got in trouble and penalized on TikTok for leaving a comment about how BLM continues to influence all our youth n adults to do drugs
facts are facts
One bad apple spoiled the whole goddamn bunch
go ahead and penalize me for breaking community guidelines
I do not conform to the social credit system and I will never spend another dime on social media again
I DO NOT CONFORM TO ANY SOCIETAL CULTS OR BOW DOWN TO ANY DEMONS LGBT BLM LLM ASM
“I HATE EVERYONE” m’kay
stop pushing your agenda on me or else
finally. an honest obituary.
i can just see myself doing this tho.
why am i laughing tho
“they grieve who she could of been”
god i feel this
even about my own life that was stolen from me
this gave me tiny bits of hope
ive always been the bright rainbow of the family (and i dont mean lgbt)
i stopped fighting with the ai
no more caps, no more grammar, no more fucks to give
leave the apostrophe at the door
things are smooth sailing stalling
triangulation among the living, dying, dead
some people are being boiled until their skin falls of the bone, and the company uses the broth for their garden, i shit you not
*laughing again*
why cant i have the broth for my own garden tho?
give me my mom’s juice
daddy’s too
revenge is an honest obituary
“im glad shes dead”
maybe poe really was a dick
he definitely was a pedophile who liked fucking his own blood
He wrote some *then* unpublished shit to her which is tattooed into my bone
I kept telling my tattoo artist I hated her and I wish she was dead but she wouldn’t let me go
until the side tat was done
“im sorry i wished you were dead / heres your tip”
there’s probably a reason I don’t have too many friends 💀
im that meme
about the drunk girl giving some guy head to avoid getting raped or worse
my safe place immediately destroyed “can i just jerk you off”
i was probably 18 or 19
maybe 20 or 21
ive been getting sa since i was born tho
i can do a tell-all for the upcoming obituaries
i never thought id share my story or find closure
ill put it on a fucking tomb
“here lies the one i hate”
THIS IS GIVING MY LIFE
i was thinking about reaching out to the sperm donor one more time
I think I was 10 last time I saw and ghosted my daddy
oh daddy where art tho
it’s weird to be so segregated from my own bloodline that I don’t even have his phone number or address
but also I haven’t moved into this new version of me yet and I don’t know what the old version would do
im in the messy middle
Hash it out *trigger warnings*
Big pharma didn’t want to give me access to something I wanted and needed
Dying ain’t enough to get morphine or oxygen
You gotta be near dead dead for that
Like when it doesn’t really matter
But Matthew Perry was issued ketamine to be treated for anxiety and depression
So I was laying here on the floor thinking I really needed something for pain and didn’t want to turn to alcohol or moonshine or something
But I was getting there 👀
Opted to try some new items from the medicinal shop instead
Hash + edibles
If you don’t hear from me for awhile, Merry Christmas 🎄🎁
I had enough points stored up apparently that it covered the hash so I saw that as a sign from the uni that it is okay to ease my pain and anxiety
Free hash 🎁
I’m on the call wait list for the restock of the balms.
I rub it on my hands and feet after my hot magnesium baths and my goddddddd
I told them I didn’t know if it was a placebo but it was working
I’m trying not to vape
That’s an entire nother devil’s head addiction I should stay away from
The sungrown, the eddies, the hash is working
(But please I need the cough syrup with morphine like the hospital gave me)
(So I’m not gonna tell you to shove it up your ass)
Can you make some thc cough syrup
Actually they do make tinctures so I may try those next
So glad I’m getting a reign on my vape addiction tho
But now I got access to hash
Update
Doc said my bloodwork looked good
Said my liver looked good
Said my skin is looking healthy
Said it wasn’t in my blood anymore
Meanwhile, I’m going “I threw up twice”, “I had to stop taking the other pill”, “I couldn’t breathe”, “need morphine”
The morphine request was denied 🙄
But only cuz she doesn’t prescribe narcotics
I’d have to go see my primary care manager – who literally misdiagnosed and mistreats me – and the only reason I’m as bad as I am now, is I couldn’t get the treatment I needed when I went to them, “I’ve been exposed”
Them: “your labs are fine”
I started my period and though I’m 45 and in agonizing pain, bleeding on everything, I’m actually grateful I’m still ovulating.
But getting any pain medication from the VA is like asking a ghost to follow me
I’ve lost my mind so the latter is a bit easier to do
I wish I could enter the VA and state that I’m 45 still bleeding from my legs – but they’d probably complain “we don’t talk like that” – “that’s considered rude”
Because we’re suppose to enter medical establishments smiling and tap dancing and bowing for them like they’re Gods
They love to gaslight
And medical malpractice is common
Go to the library and pick up a book
One that isn’t glorifying hookers and prostitutes
Cuz those can be found on the hot shelf in the front where little children can read
You’re gonna burn hell
For all eternity
P.S. I don’t know any vet alive dying that isn’t begging for some goTdamn morphine
Stop hoarding all the junk
GIVEMAH
Haz pain 😑
P.S.S. I requested it in the form of cough syrup since the hospital gave me some and it soothed my coughing and anxiety several hours thus helping the heart
But dying and being in pain isn’t a good enough cause for some cough syrup with morphine
So how do I get me some of the “good cough syrup”!?! Asking for a friend…..
I worked hard to put on weight and now I’ve done did
An update and ramble
When you’re trying to TikTok shop but the plagues notice that the audience is the same size as the host and then follow you 👀
The Host: “I’m not sure what you’re implying but if you don’t stop, I will have to mute or block you….”
Him: “she is the same size as you”
Him: randomly tags me without a message
Him: “I like your fit”
Anyhoo. I guess the romper/shrug was a hit.
I gained 1 more follower (that isn’t why I shopped for a romper tho, it’s a separate goal)
I’m waiting on the bodysuits & accessories to arrive.
Yesterday it was hot in Florida and today I need a coat.
Yesterday I would have passed out in anything but slides, shorts, and a tank.
Today I need Arctic gear 🥶
If the doctor told me, I was menopausal, I would punch him, call him a liar, and tell him to pay my electric bill.
Fortunately for me, even in my age, those words never sound.
And my body isn’t behaving in such a way, EARTH is
Stop deflecting ✋🛑✋
Oh this has happened lots over the last month or two, so thanks
This was last night…
And my hashtag over on TikTok has reached 23K
If I could stop dying long enough and figure out, how do use social media, I might could put out some better content
Not even better just effort
Like here, here’s a poem I wrote 5 years ago
How hard is it to do a soft reading and hit record?
Is it worth 200 views?
I’m totally satisfied at 1000 views. I feel it’s worth effort.
But with nearly 5k followers, it’s hard to make sense.
I’d probably be happy with 500-700 views consistently
I’d hate it even worse at zero
But yeah, I did buy some yoga sets and things to keep warm for the winter
The price was good 👍
I’m getting good feedback
There was only ONE BOY who got mad at me spending my own money on things I actually need
🤡
I gotta take my dog out again before he makes me start WW4
It can’t be that hard taking care of a hellhound but once again I found myself sobbing in front of a mirror like God was behind the other end begging “please I can’t do this… take him to heaven with you”
And then the other version of me saying “get ahold of yourself”
And I took bath number two cuz he ruined the first one and has driven me to full insanity
The heart needs the hot magnesium salt baths…
If the ego can’t get a fucking grip, we backtrack and start again
Insanity!
It’s like when you feel yourself starting to fall slowly but you can’t stop the grip
And next thing you know the wind has been knocked out of you
And the only words that surface as you lay there contemplating existence is “goT damm it” or “fuck”
These demons trying to ban curse words 🤡
Thank you so much for all the awesome feedback on my little jumper set! I think I paid six or 7 bucks for the jumper, about the same for the sweater (which I can mix n match)
He asked, “why do you wanna buy something you won’t wear”
And like…
Blazer + yoga set is definitely my style
Sorry not sorry 🤔
But the Lord answered my prayers
I can wear my blazers and loungewear together
THIS IS LIFE 🤩
(Don’t tell him about the makeup and hair products I’ve ordered)
(I’m literally dying but it’s a transformation)
I’m transforming
At least I know what sex I am 👀
I’m also shopping for guns as there’s a no license to carry law in Florida now
Trigger happy 🤩
Because I’m a Soldier
And we at war…
NEED GUNS
Shhhhhhhh
Cute but fierce?
My bag will contain more than makeup or maybe it will be a decoy 🤔
Anyhoo
My sister died
And now I’m making Chinese TikTok hosts into my sister
Sometimes I tune in just to hear them say “Ill try it on for you” but I’m one of their best customers and they help me sleep
I find shopping with them soothing
Retail therapy 🤩
But c’mon, I love this phase I’m moving into
I didn’t know I could wear my blazers with my yoga sets
But I can 🤩
Cuz he’s probably right a tiny bit
And I’ve talked to God
And prayed about what to do
And I knew I could part was some of the clothing and donate it or thrift it, but I was having a hard time wanting to part with any of my Blazers, even though I wasn’t sure where I could wear them
Turns out I can wear them anywhere anytime
Who knew 🙄
Makeover in session….
Some secrets should be taken to the grave
The story just got grosser
But whose gonna tell her that “things aren’t well down there” and it’s not from hitting a vape from the ground? 😭
This is what men like/want 😭
Women wearing sweatpants with no panties shitting themselves in the streets? 😭
She gave this info out freely? 😭
I pissed myself in the Golden corral parking lot once because I ate too much and was laughing too hard
Does that count for confession? 😭
I told my daughter to never tell anyone 😭
The panic in my voice “I’m pissing myself / it won’t stop coming out” and then my daughter nearly pissing herself from laughing too hard
I thought I would take that one to the grave with me
But since people are shitting themselves in public – and I don’t know where the rest of this story goes – I’m too disgusted with these demons in my feed
I wanted to be more like a girl 😭
Nevermind 😭
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8PfURpr/
OceanGate received $450K in pandemic PPP loans to cover payroll costs
OceanGate received $450K in pandemic PPP loans to cover payroll costs
— Read on www.msn.com/en-us/money/other/oceangate-received-450k-in-pandemic-ppp-loans-to-cover-payroll-costs/ar-AA1cWYT4
That’s some fucking bullshite. Stole money from the civilians pockets to fund a future murder/death.
CEO wouldn’t even hire experts. I’m annoyed and angry!!! Voting means absolute shite. This government is nihilistic!!!!!! Satan’s society!!!! Over it!!!!
The Lie House (The Titan saga)
The Lie House – I mean White House was notified and knew that the explosion was heard and happened on Sunday – yet drug us along – giving us false hope and sensationalized the story – probably as a false flag while other pressing issues were happening – they gave us false hope of a recovery mission knowing damn well the explosion was the Titan and that they were dead
Furthermore this…
Forward Starboard (a poem)
Left and right might be forward and back
Right is forward
Rotate controller
Left is back
Skill issue tbh
Basically something was installed backwards and people in the Titan were stuck and the solution was to reprogram the controller and the guy in the sub said he needed to write this all down
Had to turn the controller sideways to drive the sub
There were so many issues with the unsinkable Titan
But for the Lie House to drag us along is bullshite
THEY KNEW THE EXPLOSION WAS THE TITAN ON SUNDAY
Yet we all worried they were down there suffering or potentially could be rescued
The GoT damn gaslighting this administration does
Urzlutxlutdlutuljg lufzhfxlutxlljgxyrxjfxuxxdo lutzxgi
I’m highly emotionally invested in this saga
Even though our government is funneling money to Ukraine and approving lab grown meats or some shite
I need to disassociate from politics and turn my cheek to the unsinkable Titan
Hopefully I can write a better poem than the one above which is basically word for word nearly of the insanity unfolding about the Titan
I was convinced they were dead Sunday when coms suddenly stopped but they convinced me otherwise that hope might be near the vicinity when they knew damn well of an explosion
“We hear banging sounds every 30 minutes”
Fucking criminals need to be hung *insert something* from the tallest tree
I was convinced they were dead on Sunday when coms were lost but noooooo they made me doubt myself when I knew
They withheld pertinent details about the case
We’re living in a manmade hell
Putsutclutzlurzuzyrjv ufzfsluruslyr
That’s all…
I did more shopping and more cleaning and that’s basically how my Friday went
I found a skate center AND CALLED
So hopefully I’m closer to my goal and once I go it’ll be hard to stop
Just gotta make that first step
Admission is like $8 bucks I think but I only inquired about hours and if I could bring my own skates…
I might even get a piece of cardboard pizza cuz who goes skating without eating the junk food?
I haven’t been skating since I was a kid/teenager and tbh don’t know why I stopped doing the things I love
They even have “adult night” which goes til late but I’d rather go during daylight
Nothing good ever happens after dark…
P.S. they died in fear – don’t be fooled by “there was no pain” – they absolutely felt pain briefly – and the cracking was enough to put fear mode on
The goal is to not die in fear
Pain is inevitable
Unless you’re lucky enough to go in your sleep
P.S.S. Here’s a TikTok video from where I grabbed those screenshots: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8JpJ8gh/
I hope I can come up with a better poem or maybe him…
P.S.S.S. I wish some of my neighbors were on the bottom of the sea…
Last Breaths
Taking their last breaths now
And hope
I don’t know how
But will they ever be found?
They didn’t even glimpse the thing they died for…
Or are dying for currently
The only up-to-date realtime updates was a page of ads and a “download app to read more…”
Journalism is dead
The Internet has died
So I’ll stick with my TikTok newsfeed
Everyone is a fucking submarine expert now
Jesus it’s awful how they’re dying
I preferred thinking they died via implosion
Being buried alive is literally the worst way to go
Maybe someone had a watch with a little light….
Still it’s not promising
I’m so distraught I had to disassociate during the night
I don’t do anything to disassociate with anymore
No alcohol, no drugs
Does the hull implode when the o2 is completely gone?
The less they have the quicker it goes?
I need answers we will likely never have
We had laws that existed for a long time that protected people from doing stupid shit
Now anyone can sell anything anywhere
And they are hiring psychopaths who are damaging our food supply
This country was founded on immigration!!!!!!!!
I’m sick of it all!
I hated watching everyone do what the Boomers told them to do when I was 5
Boomers hold most of House and sold America out long ago
“Sins of the fathers”
Florida no longer requires a carry permit
Pro 2A
Armed and dangie…
That CEO was able to convince a few that his unsinkable submarine was the safest vehicle of all vehicles
Delusional
Lots of evidence coming out to support this
Narcissism is a plague
A drowning man will drown another
That teenager who was only 19 – hence TEENager should not been allowed to go
The Titanic should be left alone as a gravesite
Otherwise, let’s go see John Jones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Think of the $$$$$$$$$ to be made
People have lost their souls
Fuck everything
Miracles don’t exist
Just dumb luck
I liked the idea better of thinking they went quickly, as cold as it sounds
96 hours of regret in something you can’t get out of
Sealed in
Naw, not worth dying for to see the dead
They failed their risk assessment
And that kid didn’t have the frontal lobe developed fully to weigh such consequence
Sometimes sheer luck saves you
Sometimes
I think God can save your soul but he doesn’t intervene with freewill
Some people escape death through circumstance, sheer will and luck
I don’t want to burn in hell cuz the Boomers are leading the world off a cliff
FUCK CHINA
Distractions (easy rhyme)
There’s too many distractions
Can’t even read a book
Unless it is your writings
Then I may get a second look
🙂
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
Free speech below be warned
The way John Jones died keeps me awake at night.
Maybe get some land in Utah. Do a low crawl. Whip out the hacksaw. Call me an outlaw.
I’m still breaking out in hives. I did a 30 day raw ginger detox and hit it TOO hard. I’m not a sweater but first shot broke out in sweats. Kept going tho.
Nearly fell asleep last night until the consequences of John’s action really settled in.
Must be the worst way to go.
He didn’t even wanna be there. Just thought he could show off a little. He was wanting to eat some Turkey. Or maybe dressing.
I’m not gonna be able to rest until somebody pulls him out of that hole.
Recovery mission.
Use a robot, I don’t care!
Get him out of there!
Cuz I don’t learn my lessons well either.
2nd week felt nauseous after every shot and by the third, hives.
Guess I’m preparing myself for the end
I really really don’t want a traumatic ending
My whole life has been a tragedy
So Cracker Barrel has a cancer warning on their website that eating their food will expose you to bad stuff
And when you click on more info, it won’t tell you exactly which foods
This is what happens when other countries rule us and the Great Race war theory is reality
Check the fucking CENSUS
Reports say certain Chinese Americans (how they prefer) identify as “the new white”. They even get common names like John or Michael.
Certain Mexicans also identify as “the new white”
And BLM is up 230%
I don’t know where I’m going, but I can’t stay here
Land is cheap near Yellow Stone
Pros: cheap
Cons: near volcano
People have been boiled alive at the acidic hot springs
They are my favorite natural wonder and the one’s I fear the most
Always wanted to visit but have this feeling it would pop
Many scientists and people have died from volcanic eruptions randomly
I would have been driven mad living with demons inside a cave
Who constantly gaslight
I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation but sometimes I feel like I’m still learning a lesson from 6000 years ago
China needs to take a chill pill
Most of us are fairly fed up
Eating raw salad today
Maybe just need to stick to a raw diet forevermore
Fucking sick of dying a slow tormentious!?! death
You ever be drifting off to sleep until something bad makes your eyelids pop wide?
For me, last night, it was JJ.
I need an old typewriter
I probably could just use pen and paper again
Ink sucks these days
I hate AI
I’m always writing from my phone
One little tap at a time
Constantly correcting the algorithm
It likes to not space
It likes to change words on me
I’m basically sick of the narcissism which is a plague
But any article you read will state, “narcissism is rare”
Believe none of what you read and less of what you see
He was suppose to take the one that had claw marks all above
But he probably was dared or gaslit to go in the wrong one
It was 9pm at night
He should have been in bed
His wife re-married 3 years later
I ain’t been married once
Some people have it too easy
China has the most ridiculous dictator’s who are nihilistic and their own policies have made it hard for them to recover as a whole due to the “one child law” and I hope they fall but they are stealing white man’s identity with malicious intent and purpose and American names…
I’m allowed to be angy….
I’m sick of being micromanaged
And poisoned
Got some more rhyme incoming but freestyled this as soon as I opened my eyes
Couldn’t even brush my teeth first – already rhyming
Brain still foggy
When I was 16, I would break out in hives every night because of the stressors
For several months, I had to take Benadryl at bedtime
I was even put in a rehab against my will for a month solid, wasn’t able to communicate with boys, had to do stupid meetings
Escaped the insane asylum so many times they had to re-write the rules every time
Sometimes locked myself in my room and refused to come out, using my body and feet against the walls to stop them from breaking in
Demanded air time (fresh air) cuz I was on suicide watch most of the time, not allowed to go outside, not allowed to shave my legs
Broke out in hives every fucking night there
Left the leader tho…
Eventually I was released
My parents were the only ones to not show for the final week to do therapy
It was clear who the fucking problem was and why I was breaking out in hives
I wasn’t supposed to be there
The same John wasn’t supposed to be in that hole
“There are things that happened down there that will never be disclosed”
Yeah like what though?
I can still remember the name of the boy I sat next to in 2nd grade
We made up a game
We’d draw little maps of roads and the other would hold the pencil while the other held the paper to “drive”
We did this quietly and after assignments were done
And every time the teacher re-arranged where students sat, we were allowed to still sit next to one another
Cuz we both got angry and probably refused to do assignments lol
I went skating a lot back then
And even at 16, had rollerblades and would go street blading for hours
I bought me a brand new pair of skates at Christmas, but still haven’t been 😦
So I really hope I change that soon
I know I have a valid excuse “dying” but damn
One day we won’t be able to do the things we want, even if we wanted
I don’t want that day to sneak up on me
It’s like I’m still stuck in a hole I can’t crawl out
And no one’s coming to save me
We have to save ourselves
But God does listen
And prayers do come true
Sometimes
Within reason
Or it’s just l-u-c-k (labor under controlled knowledge)
But I still believe in God
And I don’t know how I survived my teenage years
The quarries, the 50 foot bridge jumps, the standing in front of trains
Suicidal yep
Even in the womb….
Didn’t even want to be born
And don’t want to die….
I gave up weed
So yo
Remember how the state gave me an addiction with malicious intent and purpose
And I regretted voting for medicinal
And the Russian hydroponics was making me MORE suicidal and homicidal
And I wasn’t getting any sleep
And it was making my anxiety worse
But I couldn’t quit
But it wasn’t working
Albeit the CBD did help my heart
But then it no longer worked
And God was like, “I don’t want you dissociating anymore”
And someone where I live was busted with 37k in their car, with fentanyl laced street weed
So I knew I couldn’t/wouldn’t fall prey to the cravings
And it was posted all over the cops social media
So I let my card expire with malicious intent and purpose
And I thought I was gonna die if I didn’t get a drag
And I started looking in places where I knew there wasn’t any weed
And it got ridiculous the places I was looking
Even tho I never hid any cuz quitting
Well, I’ve been off everything for awhile now
The brain fog is lifting
I still get cravings
But then I buy some clothing and get a dopamine boost
Because God said I didn’t have to die broke or naked
And, my closet is nearly full with clothing that fits me
Mostly cotton clothing and not polyester
But now that I’m nearly done with my shopping spree
I can figure out where I’m moving
And hopefully it’s on a plot of land 1-5 acres
So I can leave this moldy infested dump which is actually killing me
But moving isn’t as easy as it once was
And I’m actually still dying
So don’t wanna live in my ride or die
So yep
Officially weed free like 2 months + now
It takes a minimum of 4 months to recover from CUD (cannabis user disorder)
And sometimes I’m looking in random spots
I hopes to find a cartridge
That will never be there
And tossed out my pipes n papers n things
I did buy a jar worth on 4/19 and kinda weened myself
But it’s practically low grade once you’ve been puffing on the 80% thc bits like a bottle
But eventually that too ran out
I tossed out the dirty pipes to not clean the resin and taint my lungs
My lungs are still healing
And my heart from those damn vaccines
So it did serve its purpose
But I knew with the amount I was buying and the amount I was smoking and still not falling asleep that something was wrong
I knew I had to quit
It’s not that I can’t afford it
It was an absolute waste
I was tossing my $$$ in the wind
And just chasing a dragon I was never gonna find
I followed the $$$ trail back to Russia
It was Russian weed
(Stay away from Curaleaf)
(Unless you want to become homicidal and suicidal)
(More than you thought you were)
Also, there are 2 spiders living in my house
1 is unwanted and roams around
The other is stationary and I feed her
She understands me
The other one is fast and jumps and harmless (wolf spider)
The other is unidentified but I help her feed
A few weeks ago she had her web connected to my trash can lid
And 3 times I got in it and she popped down
I told her “no, you’re gonna starve, that’s me, you gotta fix yer web”
She immediately did
Today I told her I was gonna find her a meal, to fix up her web
An hour later I returned and she was working on her web
I have fed her twice now and it creeps me out
She could be a harmless Florida house spider or a dangerous one
But she’s chill
And enjoys collecting the dew when I’m taking extremely hot showers
The wolf spider is scared of me
I tried catching her the other day
She jumped
I nearly died
She’s not dangerous but she’s mobile
And I’m a good/bad witch depending on the day
I killed her mom once and cried for six months
It didn’t want to die and I was yelling “I’m sorry” while murdering her
So I’ve decided to learn to live with them
Wolfy doesn’t want to be relocated
This is her home now
I’m moving out
Come April
If the mold doesn’t kill me before then
I got an air purifier and reside in one room
I should post a sign: No spiders allowed
The one that isn’t dangerous terrifies me
They get mistaken by *im not summoning it*
The other one could be dangerous but she listens to me
I’ve fed her two live meals
It freaked me out to see her go into kill/eat mode
She mostly lingers underneath the top edge of the bathroom sink with her web along the wall and toilet
I have 2 bathrooms but she likes mine
My home isn’t really dirty but it could be better
This place was built ontop a swamp
Sick buildings exist (even new ones)
For 30 years folks were diagnosed with Sick Building Syndrome
Until they forced the doctor to stop doing his job
Maybe I can find a run down place and fix it up
Happy little clouds
And walls
I’m gonna leave this place better than I found it
And I’m sleeping on the floor
As 95% of my furniture and belongings are gone
Starting over but not here
Anyhoo
Tis all
I’m entirely sober
No drinky
No smokey
No escape
Will probably stop buying clothing soon
And keep looking for the escape route
The cop said “all of Daytona is bad” so already know I don’t want anywhere near this county
Need in the country
Of Florida
Would legit feed the gators
And there’s some sort of possum enjoying all the treats I toss out
Spotted her again today 🙂
Worry about them so much
They cut down most of their habitat
Kept hearing cries that bothered me
So started feeding them my trail mixes
And the cries turned into chipping and song
My ark will be land ho
Anyway there’s yer boring update
I live with spiders and fears
There’s no escaping here?
Spiders are animals
I even got a nat to understand me
So either I got some sort of special power
Or everything is sentient
You should see how Squirrel looks at me
She will even eat with her back turned away
She’s trusting
One day I hope a squirrel will crawl on me like a tree
I have goals you see
6th mass extinction
Science is nihilism
Scientists reduced the honeybees lifespan to 50% so they would work harder
Unethical
No one is talking about that when they say “save the bees”
Mold and fungas interchange /shapeshift
They like sugar and starch and nihilism
The Great Filter is alive
It’s the fucking devil
Tell me I’m wrong
They say you have to leave the environment to get well
I’m in hell
No one is saving that forest in Oregon? being eaten by fungas for 2500 years?
Still, I won’t kill the shrooms with teeth when they pop up
I hate mushrooms, never liked eating them
They ain’t yer fucking friend
And I won’t sleep tonight with Wolfy running around
*sigh* spotted Wolfy again
She I needs a new home
Got some cute pants that quickly sold out! Love them!!!!! Small is almost too big where XS is almost too tight but I have been getting lots of shorts in xs!
They stopped making B cup bras. So bralettes I guess forevermore
Petite people don’t matter
“Eat a burger” they say
I’m like “are you buying”!?!?!?!
All I do is fucking eat
I don’t live in the gym
I’m going to upgrade my rebounder soonish
And still haven’t gone skating 😦
But desperately wanna
I ain’t safe here
I’m gonna hit the rink or skate park soon I pray
I wish I had friends other than spiders….
And ghosts….
P.S. I heart God
I don’t like Smart Post
Apparently if you have a package shipped with UPS, they won’t actually be delivering it, as they hand it over to the USPS for the “last mile”
More fucking gaslighting
I fucking hate USPS
Now I hate UPS
And it’s not as if I have a choice on who delivers
USPS ruins packages and misplaces them
Not to mention, it adds several more days to your delivery as it gets handed over – to the dreadful USPS for its “last mile”
China can burn in hell
They literally ruined everything
Why did Jesus wear a robe?
Cuz he was ANGRY
But I ain’t allowed to overturn the money tray in church
And now they pass it around more than once
I get agi
So stopped going
I hate everything
But your fucking writing
P.S. I would rather pick up my package from UPS for the “last mile” since they can’t do their fucking job
But that ain’t an option
More hands on my goods cuz China are filthy nosey lil spy cunts
Fuckkkkkkkxufzfylzydzhzkgd
I know I’m not supposed to hate other races but now I despise at least 3
Misheard lyrics (maybe)
Somebody told me
That you had a girlfriend
That looked like an elephant
I think I’m smaller than 111 now cuz my extra small have become loose
I’m growing thinner
Maybe a bit meaner
A misdemeanor
I’m sick of being single
Dear Boomers
Do you know where your children are?
The commercial aired to our Boomer parents cuz they should all be crucified burn in hell
By the way, Mother & Father, do you know where I am?
Scrolling through the tiktok
This motherfucker stated he was “bi-sexual”
BLOCKED
Get outta my feed
Alarms
The alarms are calming
Saw someone was coming
The fourth numbing
My faith is humming
Battle axe now summing
Copyright © 2023 PoeEternal. All rights reserved.
I was trained to not run out into danger, “play dead” when overtook
“Don’t become a casualty yourself”
“Don’t play hero”
“Make sure the scene is safe”
“Triage”
“Ration”
“Defense”
“One shot, one kill”
Targets chest and head
= dead dead
Never failed at range
Range was at least twice a year – not just Basic Training
“Trained killer”
The Army imprinted on me
You never lost my stripes
Just my sense of direction and uniforms
Which I can replace with ones that fit
I can wear my uniforms anytime anywhere
And you will address me as my title if I am in such role
Deal with it
VETS MATTER
But go on and keep pissing in the Veterans memorial and getting Walmart closed down
The alarms bring a sense of calm
I’ll use it to my advantage instead of having a ptsd meltdown
I’m looking entirely natural and cute while going out – most people are treating me nicer – I’m seeing loads more BLM who want to unalive me – including the children who wanna pop us (and 3 teenagers were just charged with killing a white person)
I’m not ready to die, I’m fighting for my life
This fucking cancer is eating me alive
Go on and make fun of my body again – even though I work out – I don’t live in the gym – but I don’t sleep all day (or at all?)
Going weapons shopping soon 🙂
Gotta lay low for now
My rent is cheap as fuck – I don’t call this home – it’s hell and cheap for a reason – but I can’t flee yet – or would let them have this place – which is being gentrified – the cop Sunday said this whole town is bad.
Just going for gas or food is a gamble
Just checking my mail
They want us living in fear
Gotta get this off my chest
Someone posted a tiktok of a 911 call – with a man dying and taking dying breaths
Another user commented it “turned him on”
Also Chicago was overrun by darkness
And the local cop here told me I need to move – “out of Daytona”, “all of Daytona is bad” “I hate to tell you to move” “I hate to lose someone level headed like you”
Well, I’m more reckless than anything – but absolutely still serve my country – I ain’t running away – I practice running a lot though – on my trampoline
Gotta make sure I can wind the Devil
They gonna try and shoot you from the back
Zig zag but with skates?
I don’t miss my shot tho
The Army trained me to hit moving targets 500m back
I’m efficient up to 350m but definitely passed all my skill sets
I ain’t gonna have a skill issue
I was only 4 rounds from expert first time on the 9mil
The hubby got a lot of work to do
“I gotta girl / you want to meet her? / her name is 9mm”
90s hip hop yo
Other men dying – turn men on
Uhm, men hearing babies cry, turns them on
The Mystery Plants
They basked in the glory of the full moon last night
I have several pots doing nothing at all
And there’s a lot of guilt involved in mistake
And I did clean the windowsills but then spilt the strawberries (which maybe now they will sprout!?!)
These are the ones surviving thus far and needing re-potting
The Forget-Me-Nots – around 7 growing and a few have rot
The Lavender hasn’t sprouted but I didn’t use all the seed (did something right)
The other mystery plants may be dead?
It could take 3 weeks for it to surface
Do you know how much time I have to kill things between then?
I’m like “please grow”
I think I could do better with some land?
The cop recommended me to move today, said “all of Daytona is bad”, “hate to lose a level headed person like you”
Do you think he could be my future husband?
The BLM brought up my skin color and size, said, “you ain’t got one” but like I do!?!
It’s tiny sure. Take it up with God. I’m Angelic.
She was threatening to beat my ass
I said, “they want us living in fear”
She replied, “why would you move where there are black people”
Like OMG
“Why would I move where there are black people”?
That’s an entirely good question
Where can I move where there aren’t any?
But that’s so mean. I don’t actually not like black people lol
“Why would you move somewhere there are black people?”
*pretends I’m a ten like Ms USA*
*plays dumb*
I ain’t got any huh
Then why you watching it shake when I’m walking away
The men don’t mind my tininess
They use words like “fit”
So yeah The plants. The drama. The hellhound. The hellhole. The noise. Interruptions.
Need country
Lots of trees
Good neighbors
“Not born in a barn” type
Also me: *wants a sleep barn*
Also: thanks for 37,000 Likes on the TikTok
Well almost
Dear God
*need land and a husband*
*please heal me*
2 month supply of detox arrived!
victoriahealth.com
Found the stuff without the bad junk
No sugar junk
And this came in a glass bottle, the big ticket items
Fighting for my life
Tell God I don’t want to die
*Quarantined not scared*
*selfless service*
*Sacrifice*
It wasn’t worth jumping into the trench
Got my free speech stolen too
*wakey wakey*
111 pounds currently and have detoxed and rebound around 30-50 pounds of the Devil
The vaccine nearly wiped me out
Finally getting rays of my lungs this week – they wanna put me under – no no no
No no no no no no
*takes raw shot of ginger*
*sweats for 2 minutes*
*nearly dies*
X 8 days in a row of 30 days ginger raw shots
HOLY GAWD
*mouth burns*
*face blushes*
*goes through purification process to find husband*
Him: “what’s yer number count”
Me: *ghosts him*
I’m practically a nun and the reason you see a prostitute
You left me fucking behind
“No child left behind” came out after I was left behind
Uhm hello!!!!!!
*sobs*
So, I wanna write poems with different words that sound the same
I don’t recall the lesson here
Same words but different
I wanna start writing code into my poetry like EAP
I did it one time – I don’t regret it at all – though humiliated and crucified
I sweat out years of fast food
GROSS
How is this legal
Blocking access to your account through the web browser – and re-directing you to the app to install
So – you can’t use a web browser anymore to access TikTok
Only an app – a spy app
There is NO LOGIN option
Only redirect to install the app (no fuck you)
I hope TikTok gets banned
Byeee millions of views
OnlyFans pt 3
3rd times a charm?
I’m likely starting the process soon to create a page
I need a hideout
I haven’t moved yet so there isn’t anything fancy to look at
I don’t need your money
I just need to start over everywhere
Edgar died naked for a reason, he was suffocating
You ever seen that movie with what’s-his-face and he was Buried Alive
That’s what TikTok feels like
And me giving him all the wrong clues that he winds up at a different grave
I don’t wanna wind up so stuck he can’t reach me
I’ve examined many ways to die and John Jones still ranks as WORSE
I’m obsessed with ways people die
I’m seeing patterns too
There’s always a “second” involved
“He went back in for a swim”
“They went down for another dive”
“Decided for a harder section after completing an easy one”
“Two rides said no”
“He stayed for a second day”
“He changed his plans”
“They went back in”
Poor Jacob and the Whirlpool, he went back in, back down again, a wee bit further
But the drain was draining and getting stronger (like a bathroom tub draining)
I counted several warnings by Mr. Death himself
I get called ominous for delivering love poems via internets while dying – (it happened one time chill) (humiliation favorite overkill)
But Jacob wasn’t ominous for swimming in a black hole?
His friend edged him on
“I don’t know what else I can do aside from die”
*shrugs*
*hops back in*
*goes deeper*
They found him at the other end of the drain
Oh… and then that guy that went down the deepest part of the ocean, the Trench
Not even fully qualified
I had no idea that the ocean could “push you down” at “incredible speeds”
I wouldn’t have stopped falling, I would have just kept going huh…
Newsflash: we can’t leave earth
We’re grounded to earth
Charged
The sun is electrical
Positive / negative charge
We’re static electricity buzzing
Hair standing on head (it needs the blm lube for “all hair types” that the blm hog in the blm section)
My page will probably be free or ridiculously cheap membership to keep away the kidnappers
I mean, I wanna post some nudes
I’m still working out while dying and 111 pounds despite everything
And now I wanna quit all meat but chicken
I like eggs and sometimes I wanna eat a chicken
I know, but the heart likes beef and chicken a lot
For ethical and moral reasons try to leave most creatures alone
Someone harassed me and I got penalized for it
Makes absolute total sense
“Money won’t buy happiness” it’s true but I’ll be a whole less stressed out in the country where no one can find me
“Do not enter property without secret code or homemade pie”
Him: “I’ve never eaten a homemade biscuit before”
Memaw: “the way to a man’s heart is through his belly”
Me: “you need a proper biscuit with real maple syrup”
I myself haven’t had one since the 1800s but once I get moved from this dumpster
And I got another rent increase incoming
The appliances are also from the 1700s and my electric company knows my shit ain’t updated and I’m being penalized
“This is a man’s world”
Well I don’t want any part in it
Can you come help til the garden tho?
I gotta get a fence up
Coms
Some sort of place to shit
I need land and a realtor I can trust!
I’m injured!
“I think I’m dumb” but not dumb enough to get married to the banks
Can’t have more than 9k on you or the cops will seize it even with proof it’s yours
The government will come steal your gold too
They didn’t cash their silver coin bonds “backed by the good faith of the Chinese government”
“Made in China”
Who owns the majority of bonds
But we needn’t worry
Every new label, every new change, Big China buying America
I got to go
Too far down the rabbit hole
Weed gone
(Half jar remaining and low thc compared to vape pens)
(Been out for days)
(Haven’t renewed card)
(Panicky)
Need some TLC on OF after the TikTok beating
I’d like to post workout videos and peach shots and nudes
Sue me
(Give me the dopamine boost as God intended, thank you)
(Otherwise, you know the fate of Poe?)
(And the ominous is in the blood)
(I might be Cleopatra)
I might be all things
All or none
I was nestled with God in the Great Void
“This is where you find some quiet, huh”
Gonna be fighting for my life until the end (it was stolen)
(Cry so much)
I’m facing future days of not bleeding between my legs and it feels like the end of everything I ever dreamed of
The women who got rid of their ability to have children and “love it” – nihilists
But you don’t look at me the way Squirrel does
I don’t know anything about life at all
Man has failed his part with me (thus far)
It’s like I’m being punished for his sins
But God has answered many prayers in one sweep
I need to find my way
To 1-5 acres
Once I have land, I’ll worry about other thangs
Land = ark
And I have seeds to plant!
I want trees growing until 1000 years of age!
Get off my land!
Unless you got pie?
Or a nut tree to plant
Fruit?
You brought me a chicken! Not to eat! *heart eyes*
Coyote gets fed chicken eggs too! He ain’t getting shot!
Give him a dog house far off!
Figure it out!
I need a pond!
Byeee
If I get enough followers – I can go live so will probably do the free thing and just ppv certain booty post ridiculously cheap?
But livestream workouts and walkabouts
Park adventures
Maybe land buying
“I’m dumb and boring”
But guys are hollering for my attention at my apt complex now that I’m dressing cute and less bum
He wanted me to know Squirrel crawled on him
Ok fool
But do you feed his entire family pistachios and sunflower seeds and cashews and all the top seeds and nuts
Are you gonna build squirrel a paradise?
They swing from the trees like monkeys!!!
Got another neighbor from NZ who don’t have squirrels at all
New Z doesn’t have squirrels I’m told
I’m like “none at all!?!”
No flying squirrels huh
Not moving there…
*crosses New Zealand off the potential move list*
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Montana? Utah? Nothing grows in Maine?
I don’t have an address in hell or online anymore
*purgatory
I scored this and I hope it fits. I’ve started ordering xs since small is big on me. Tiny petite thang
It’s 100% cotton too!!! I ordered a small!
They still are running a flash sale entire store!
My phone is broken and outdated
I may go back to regular photography
With a real camera
I hate WP
I miss OF
The short set: https://www.dollskill.com/products/tea-and-secrets-shorts-set
Tea & Secrets
I want that to be in my page name lol
TikTok heat + Boomer logic
The TikTok is still heating up and Boomers don’t like being called Boomers but they make up most of the HOUSE of CONGRESS
Therefore, I will not comply about referring to them as “politicians”.
One replied that they were enjoying their retirement and I told them congratulations, enjoy. All the Boomers will be gone by the 60s.
He probably never looked at it like that (forest for trees) and the comment remains unliked
They say any traffic is good traffic but I did block someone commenting multiple times
I’m very open, exposed, and raw delivering such heavy content such as “I lost half my retirement but it wasn’t because I was stupid, all Gen X did – so I feel slightly worse.”
I’m backing it up with real evidence tho (just not personal statements tho some comments phish for it)
Boomers won’t admit to any wrong doing, ever (prove me wrong).
Gen Y & Z should back X up in the fight to remove the Boomers from HOUSE
My TikTok is #poeeternal or PoeEternal
Thanks for your feedback here and there!
I love having a place to direct my rage: the Boomers
Cause-and-effect
Have fun love 🙂
I’m the Great Anomaly
WOKE
“Take a pill” – NO
TikTok heat
Dropping complaints and codes on my TikTok and it’s getting some traffic
I’m not an ambassador and I don’t earn a dime
I normally get penalized
Basically calling out the Boomers
Moaning about the retirement age vs the life expectancy age
Cute clothes from a favorite store arrived
Once I get my hair/nails/facial, maybe I’ll try the clothes on
For now, you get to see how utterly stressed I look
I ordered more cute cotton clothing
I kinda can’t keep up with the 12 comments coming in
(I didn’t actually count)
AND
Not everyone is biting my head off
Some are just learning of the Secure 2.0 Act – new retirement age of 75
Through my TikTok
Just got called a whacko! 🙂
Maths
The probability that scientists have unleashed adaptations is 1000%
Current adaptation: reducing the honeybees lifespan 50% so they would “be more productive”
Make more honey faster but don’t enjoy the time God gave us on earth
Also, they raised the retirement age to 75 in America, “respectively” and no one cares (but me)
Science is nihilism
Your addiction is in danger of expiring!!!!!!
When you’re trying to quit weed and the state is all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How to sum America up
Super nice guy
And I may not live in a high rise
But he’ll end your life
Get back to work
Work through the night
Mystery plants day 7
I’m growing food in my window (either chive, chamomile, sunflower, or basil) – mystery seeds provided by my library – and now I have 4!
I was worried they might be cold, so I put their little “blankets” on.
I have 4 “mystery plants” provided by my library, growing currently and if I succeed on growing herbs then maybe I’ll move on to carrot and cabbage
They get spring water and sunlight and fresh airs and lots of love
I have pots to put them in, when and if I sort how to relocate them. They sleep in them at night, tucked with their little covers for warmth and moisture.
HEAT
And spring water 🙂
I wasn’t sure when to feed them so give them drops with the rain
And breakfast/lunch/dinner timeframes if needed
They don’t starve
They wake up to pretty bird singing and me saying “good morning”
Him: so what do you like to do
Me: Talk to my plants and care for them better than my mother cared for me…
I don’t know what the odds are of growing one of each. I grabbed bags on different days.
I don’t know what the odds that I can grow anything at all
But I was born to do it neener neener
Just don’t wanna leap from the bridge when my crop dies or my weed runs out (FYI)
PoeEternal 