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I wanna come, so then I go
You say go fast, so I go slow
You say goodbye, I’m at hello
I drop a bomb, for afterglow

I sleep outside my own prison gate
I build a wall to suffocate
And any trespasser I will violate
Just come near me and you will ache

I am good but I am bad
I am happy but I am sad
I am boring but I am rad
I think I died in Baghdad

I am the pleasure but he is the pain
No matter the blood, I need him the same
I laid down my gun and this isn’t a game
You have the key to open my chain

He is the stable, I am a wild horse
Maybe it is hate, I don’t know the force
And if he loves me, it is only in fourths
I have looked for love but I can’t find the source

© Delia Ross. 2019

“My indecision is final…”
I always gots rosey cheeks and freckles (Alabama, circa 2015)
Missouri (AKA MISERY) Circa 2007ish
Iraq circa 2003
Tennessee barely sixteen
Florida circa 2016ish
Tennessee age 18 with my 9 month old baby that I breastfed a solid year (my hair is nearly that long again *squee* but this is my natural color, brunette with hazel eyes)
(Self, age 18, kiddo 9 months)
A hippy goth in docs, nothing much has changed 🙂 (age 18)
The 90s, the best and worst decade of my life
I iz evolving (Florida, my birthday 2019)
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One Thing Is Certain

I am changing, but can others see?
When looking at other pictures, that cannot be me
Spent a lifetime trying to figure out who I was and now I am free
Free from all the locks and chains where I never had a key
And while there is still sorrow, I am an open sea
I am drowning on my back but I am floating carelessly

Underneath, the pull of the current
A shark is circling with massive courage
And dark is the sky and my eyes keep burning
And long are the lessons we never are learning
Life will drown you if death is a burden
But I will fall down loving him, one thing is certain…

© Delia Ross. 2019

My last breath I will love you…

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Doll

I won’t say anything at all
Cuz when I do I seem to fall
But you were there to watch me crawl
You were there to see me bawl

You, you wind me up like a doll
You pull the string and then I’m off
And then you act so appalled
As if it’s never your fault

You, you got me crawling up the wall
For what I did, I don’t recall
You like to see how I stall
My tears your favorite decal

© Delia Ross. 2019

Saddest girl in the world (self-portrait)
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Trixter

He offered me the sky, said it would be no problem to buy, if I wanted it
He flashed diamonds in my eye, that should easily satisfy, said I have credit
Replace that hardened cry, with a fresh necktie, I’ve got the perfect fit
I looked the devil in the eye, I said you trixter of a guy, as the blood left my wrist

© Delia Ross. 2019

Suicide awareness everyday. I’m on the guestlist to see Peter Hook in Atlanta this month, I’ve waited all year for this. My only REGRET in life would be not hearing this live. Why is this related? Well, the lead singer/songwriter of a band I dig died by suicide, Ian Curtis. When that happened, Joy Division became New Order and NO is a favorite band. Hooky was the co-founder of both bands. I dance alot to New Order. ALOT.

Ian Curtis – suicide
Mina Tepes – suicide
Kurt Cobain – suicide
Judas Iscariot – suicide
Etika – suicide
Robin Williams – suicide
Archias of Cyprus – suicide
Hunter S Thompson – suicide
Diaeus – suicide
Sylvia Plath – suicide
Cleopatra – suicide
Alexander McQueen – suicide
Marilyn Monroe – suicide
Chris Cornell – suicide
Ernest Hemingway – suicide
Michael Hutchence – suicide

Me with the leader of the goth revolution, Peter Hook, last year in Orlando, I was on the guestlist. Don’t know if I’ll get to meet him this time, but I can’t wait to hear the songs, some of my favorite will be played this time, and Hooky is my favorite bass player! This was taken on a crappy cellphone after hours of dancing/sweating, care nots! It’s actually a fun story, I didn’t realize it was actually Hooky smoking inside the building under the “no smoking” sign, when I asked to come down to that particular area and he invited me down that way three times. I dropped my purse in the middle of the backstage hall when I realized it was Hooky and followed him out the door leaving my purse and pass on the floor! About 10 minutes later the manager of the venue brought it to me as I was still outside shook from having just met Hooky. I was like OMFG THANK YOU cuz I was mingling with the rest of the band and talking to others so it still wasn’t on my mind that my purse was in the middle of the hall backstage floor. Gig life. The entire story is longer. 😂
I was guestlisted for Peter Hook & The Light, Orlando, Florida 2018
My favorite place to be, front row of a favorite band (Peter Hook, New Order / Joy Division 2018, crappy cellphone photo by me)

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Dead Anyway

Do I ever make you feel good?
Do you focus on the bad, longer than you should?
If you trusted me, could I peek under your hood?
If you don’t love me, do you ever think you could?

Every cloud passing by another prayer
In your thoughts, I wonder, am I there?
Is there ever a moment, where you care?
Of all the ones you’ve loved, how did I compare?

Slipping down now is the rain
Coming down to greet me another pain
Unfamiliar, surrounding terrain
And here I linger, here I dwell, here I remain

Life is just full of decay
I slowly watch love fade to grey
And if I die well I was dead anyway
If I die, that’s just the price we pay

© Delia Ross. 2019

Halloween has passed and still themes of death, oh goodie, I’m still me. Survivor of spells and curses, adding that to my portfolio. Let’s compare resumes. The new modern age of dick comparing. My debt is bigger than yours. Oops, I meant dick, I mean house. Wait, what the fuck are we talking about again? Dick, yes, need. CHOCOLATE, I NEED CHOCOLATE (shut up hormones) ((my ovaries are literally in a knife fight right now, I would apologize but my cycles follow the Moon))

This tho, yasssss HORNY CREEP yeps, not gonna apologize about that either. My drive ain’t hurting nobody. IS YOURS?

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Dreamland

What islands must we breach, in a faraway dreamland, where the habits we keep, are safely out of reach, and the love we share, is a language we can finally comprehend?

What mystical gardens must we sow, where joy and hope is the grain that we grow, and your hand is the vine, connected to the very root of my soul?

What maps must we hunt, what fear do we uncover, that leads me to the forest where you are my lover?

What secrets do we bury, so your mask is less heavy, and my shadow will feel more like a friend not in a hurry?

What ship must I sail, on what troubles do we travail, will you follow me out of hell, can you live to tell our tale (what if I fail)?

What skin must we shed, what sorrow do we part, show me through the doors, that will lead to your heart, past the halls of the longing, through the deeds where we get our first start?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I need him so much it actually hurts…

Saddest girl in the world.. (Self-portrait)
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You

You could give me gold, I am sure it’s what most want
But it will never satisfy, no matter what you flaunt

You can hide my eyes, but can you stop your voice
The one that’s in my head and loves without a choice

If I were to show you what is underneath my cloak
Do you think that you would like me, even when I spoke

You could send me flowers, anyone can do that
But the words that you’re writing, makes my heart so fat

You could take me places, but I’d rather be at home
The depths in your eyes are the streets I want to roam

You could play me music but what I really want to hear
Is your voice leaning in and whispering in my ear

So the things that I want isn’t much this is true
Because the only thing I want is to be alone with you

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’m not asking for much, I just want it all because you are everything and all I need (all I really want is my guitar and you) 🤓

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92 Million Miles Away

Trying to reach him is like trying to reach a star
92 million miles away but still close enough to scar
The further the tether, the closer we are
But when it comes to his love I never reach far

The Sun never sleeps but he is missing from the night
Yet there are days when it’s best he’s out of sight
The Moon has phases where she hides from his light
But when they are united, heaven shines so bright

© Delia Ross. 2019

Eclipse of my heart…

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Clean Dirty Mouth

You can take the soap and wash words from my mouth
But I never meant for any of them to ever come out
And if you ever forgive me, my love is facing south
And all the dirt within me, took a different route

© Delia Ross. 2019

You ever have your mouth washed out with soap? I did once when I was ten and I misspelled shirt by spelling shit on my quiz, which the teacher said I did on purpose, because apparently I’m little miss perfect. So she called my mom and they both agreed I shouldn’t have misspelled a word in First grade and thus bathroom “lick the soap twice”. I wanted to fucking kill them. I don’t know how I’ve gone this long without murdering someone. God literally made me incapable of physically hurting another human being. Because “little miss perfect” *rolls eyes* *flaps wings*

It’s possible my subconscious did misspell a word because I was being beat at home but I only got beat more at school so…

I am a Leo tho, and I was certain then it was a mistake… I was already upset when I saw my grade was less than perfect, but now, a liar too!?! Age ten was toughs.

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Love, Sensuality, Devotion

If I were capable, I would build him a boat,
He could sail through the storms, I seem to evoke.
He could cruise through the wind, and never lose hope,
And the distance we keep, would not feel so remote.

If I were capable of obtaining perfection,
In the mirror, he would see my reflection.
If he could believe, that he made a connection,
Maybe he could see, I am trying to change my complexion.

If I were able, to shorten the distance,
A home in me, would appear into existence.
He could visit me, at this very instance,
And the safety he seeks, would never go missing.

If secrets we keep, would be less of a burden,
I would reach into where he seems to keep hurting.
I would pay with my life, to open his curtain,
And the life that he seeks, would not be uncertain.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Things (but mostly love)

Her hopes take flight, it catches starlight, it rides the night, it gives her dreams sight, for his love she will fight


He knows not his creed but it is burned to my tongue-
Like a tattoo by fate, open my gate and come

Please need me

I crawled on when my hope was gone
I saw sun but my eyes were burned
I found love where the hand was numb
I gave love when it would not come


He writes the most beautiful poetry
And I want to organize them into little treasures for my mind
An instrument of the finest wording and it starts with his rhyme
Pluck a note from me, as I’m slightly off key
It doesn’t take much to tune me when his writing is my shrine
He intoxicates me better than the finest wine

His words should come with a sign that reads, “do not engage”

So innocent was her love, so pure
The bouquet of poetry he would write would allure
It was love of this she was sure
In the afterglow of words she felt secure

Want a dose of paranoia mixed with anxiety? Well, if he is her and you are me and they are them, then who the fuck is she?

He doesn’t know it but he is a giant in my heart.

He was unaware of her worth
But there was something in her eye
And the look was divine
And it tasted of desire
Love sprung from the Earth


Everyone seems to be living such wonderful lives and I just want to hide in his eyes

He comes back for my love
When he’s lost his reserve
Just as I am giving up

Most days my soul is suffocating
Bouncing up and down
Flipping and flopping
Gasping for air
Frantic and in despair
Where is the life?

Silence brings violence

He’s not quite 6 feet but every bit iron foot

Just because you think I’m perfect doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I’m good. Just because you don’t think I’m worth it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell me I could.

Death didn’t hurt. Everything else did.

He moves fast through my heart like rapids…

What I would give to be shifted to number one.

Love goes on through the seasons.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Safehouse

If there is a world where I exist
Please visit
I am a rainbow just waiting to get sunkissed
Like a solar flare my moods can get explicit
But it is through destruction where life has risen
And now you give love a speed limit
And you tie a ribbon of shame around my spirit
You label yourself “critic”
Where once a safehouse requiring no picket
I’d enter, I’d rest, and my dreams were so vivid
I’d cry and I’d dance and I loved you every minute
Your love was a sticky mist
I inhaled all of it (give me a fix)

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Perfect Form

If I were a moon, he’d be an asteroid
If I were open space, he would be the void
If truth were a promise, he would be the lie
If beginnings had beginnings, he would be goodbye

If I were an ocean, he’d be the shark
If reasons had meaning, he’d tear it apart
If weather were gentle, he’d be the eye of a storm
If cold were a shoulder, his would have perfect form

© Delia Ross. 2019

Inspired by something I heard in John Wick 2… had to revisit the entire chapters after watching 3. Neo warming up for The Matrix 4. John Wick 3 is by far the best of the chapters, it just slayed. Martial arts makes me kinda sloppy wet (or maybe that’s just Keanu Reeves, KIDDING chill sheesh) 🙃🙃🙃😛

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Regolith

Life is so bland, so very dreary
But when I take the walls down
And I start to move around
The Moon she peers at me
As if I’m well and sound
And she offers me a different theory

Still the cold finds the cracks
And in creeps what I lack
And now it’s dark, I’ve lost the tracks
But tell me who really has your back?

Was it done for her or was it done for you
And is it something that you ever knew
Maybe you tried but you changed your view
When instead you should have changed your crew

Is it lack of discipline or are you really bad
Since depression took over she’s your only comrade
And so you tell the Moon the reasons you’re sad
And I can tell she understands a tad

Her regolith is made from fires
And you’re the only man she ever desires
And if the Moon is something you admire
It’s the same as why her love won’t expire

Some treat her like a chemical waste
And some responses were done in haste
And if it’s what you want it can be erased
It can disappear without a trace

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Destination: Love

He is part of a world I wish I was in
The story is open, the pages are thin
Love is where I’m going but it’s never where I’ve been
The road is full of obstacles and requires some discipline

The clouds passing by bring a current of hope
The fog dissipates with all of my mope
The sun bursts with a new horoscope
The sky is a blanket where my sorrows can cope

I took my depression and left it in a back alleyway
I may return for it again someday
And when my fears visit, they’ll arrive in a beautiful bouquet
And if you ever forgive me, that day will be a permanent holiday

Set the controls to where my heart is churning
Look all directions, you’ll see our fire burning
There is never a day for you I am not yearning
Some practice of forgiveness is worth learning

© Delia Ross. 2019

I lied though, ‘cuz he is really my favorite poet. I can feel him inspire every little fiber and molecule in me… just saying.

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Love Beats On

“Stop! What are you doing?”, he demanded an answer holding a look of shock
Her face stained with black mascara and fear so thick she could hardly talk
He kneeled down beside her, their eyes in a gridlock
“I’ve learned you are the one and now it’s time to walk the walk”
Lips connected and fate started their heart clock

Love beats on…

© Delia Ross. 2019

A sad beginning with a happy ending. The middle is now. Unwritten.

Sad angel (selfie)
Teach me that I’m worth more than my mistakes (selfie)
I think people should be worth more than their mistakes (selfie)
Don’t you? (Selfie, no filter)
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Bad Feathers

Her wings wrought from sorrow, stained with regret
And if there’s any forgiveness, he hasn’t given it yet
If love had a mirror it would reflect his spirit
If any hand were worthy, his has merit

She wraps her wing around his heart
She prays it helps the pain depart
It is not a solution but it is a start
Even angels are known to break apart

She awaits quietly in silent prayer
As she tends his heart from its despair
There is no love that can compare
She plucks out bad feathers showing wear and tear

She shuts her eyes and makes a wish
She simmers any flames of anguish
So love may again feel its warmest
Where for him it was found coldest

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’d remove every feather if it meant never hurting you again.

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Wrath

“I do terribly bad things”, she said with a saddened sorrow
“Spontaneous combustion”, Lu replied
She was gazing in her mirror, Lu was just behind
Leaning on her shoulder, like he was her beau

He goes places with her no other will go
He knows too many things he shouldn’t know
A mask to Lu is an open window
The thicker they get, the more that you owe

“My tongue is full of sin” she said
As she took a blade, her eyes were blood red
The cold steel on her neck, her gaze still ahead
With careful, quick precision, Lu swiped the blade from her hand, he was never much of a figurehead

“Terribly bad things”, as she crashed to the floor
A creature of the underworld, and she could take no more
Too many souls abandoned, what is she fighting for
If only love could be her savior

“Hey kid, they only fear your purity because they sin,
They act tough where their skin is thin,
They create chaos in an endless cycle they spin,
They search for winnings, where the devil will always win”

With a hand that swung with the thunder of Thor
With a face of refusal and ready for war
With her hand on the trigger and ready to score
Standing an inch from the devil she let out a roar

© Delia Ross. 2019

Do you ever feel like the devil is on your shoulder? That was sort of the goal for the bathroom mirror scene. Now’s he’s been all through the house. Time to see a priest, deep, dark thoughts abide. Maybe an exorcist too. Definitely could use spiritual cleansing from a psychic.

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Cobwebs

He spins a web of confusion
He spews we are living in delusion
That won’t stop him from carrying on
His mask cannot hide his beacon

And without reason, I follow the action
I was taught love is twice bitten
Well, maybe his web leads to Eden
It matters not how many webs are spun

I crawl over fragmented dreams and broken bones
It makes me ponder how many hearts he owns
Are they easy to collect like clones
Does he cherish the ones dethroned from their thrones

The stickier the web, the heavier the bloodstones
The harder the heart, the more sinful the wrongs
The farther we part, the heavier the moans
The more you punish, the darker the zones

© Delia Ross. 2019

For the most part, I put all my darkness into my poetry, or my art, I wouldn’t actually bite his head off in real life… the follow unfollow routine might be annoying but seriously there are worse crimes. And I’m trying to refrain from allowing others to trigger me. I have written him so much beautiful rhyme, it would be a shame to focus on the few falls between. xxoo

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What Would Edgar Do?

Dear Edgar, tell me, what is it you would do?
Did your love make you a prisoner, too?
You crafted her poems and she loved you,
But that doesn’t work for me, no matter what I do.

Dear Poe, you were a cryptologist, you can solve this code?
The answer must be hidden, but the window has narrowed.
He keeps his soul hidden, where none have burrowed,
But ever since I found him, time has simply slowed.

© Delia Ross. 2019

I suppose he would die of a drunken, broken heart, naked and broke on the streets. Feels vaguely familiar…

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Ripples

When your ink drops my soul will splatter
Like a ripple in spacetime, you matter
You are the one my dreams look after
Where reaching you only requires a ladder

When I hear you speak the Sun rises
And my love for you comes in all sizes
Your kiss is the best of all prizes
But your eyes are the best of all horizons

© Delia Ross. 2019

That boy does something to muh. I prefer to focus on the good stuff. Even tho he hates me…

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Words Like Bullets

Where do you go in the dark with my heart
Words fire from my tongue like a bullet from a gun
The damage inaccessible but already done

Where do you go with my broken dreams
Do you savor the sounds of the sorrow they bring
When it comes to being hollow who is the king

Where have you gone with my voice
Give me a list of the roads I should void
You left me in rage, my tongue had no choice

© Delia Ross. 2019

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A Visit From Lu Part 7

So there it was, Lu and I
Outstretched his hand an ally
There sat a truce within his eye
Another devil here to apologize

Once you’ve heard one lie you’ve heard them all
You can change the ending but you cannot stop the fall
You can change your perceptions but you’re still behind a wall
The only lies worth spinning are the ones you can’t recall

Lu has been there for me since the day that I was born
When my parents would beat me and my wings could not take form
As if it was his duty to sit with me and mourn
So deep down in the darkness that his feet would come to warn

There are some places angels aren’t meant to be
And it was during my lowest times Lu would come remind me
And it is always a fine line between heaven and hell I am walking
And there’s not a detail overlooked when the devil is talking

But the dark has come again and now Lu has arrived
But these really are his tunnels where we all reside
And even in this darkness my purity has thrived
I wonder if his prayers are the reason I survived

The words hello and goodbye never slip from my tongue
The sorrow feels deeper and long it was hung
The worry will linger where heart took a stung
And with very few words the devil just took a swung…

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my goodness y’all, Lu has been protecting her all of her life until now!?! What did he say to her? Why has he hurt her!?!

I’ve never tried writing like this before, my epic tragedy was written in one night after it came to me in a dream. I had an idea for a story (this one) and wanted to see if I could write a longer piece but I wanted it to be without rules and regulations and I wanted it to feel experimental. I haven’t written any rough drafts or used any of the prewriting techniques we were taught in school. I knew the basis for the story and I wanted it to feel open-world. I dig open world video games (I’m a huge gamer and I’ve been playing games since I was a little girl and it’s one reason I want to play Survivor CBS cuz game play matters and that’s the best game on fucking Earth and I’m getting ready to audition for a fourth time and the first rule of Survivor is never give up). Anyhoo. This has been a huge challenge for me and I can’t believe I’m already into part 7. Sometimes I just want to quit writing cuz I’m nowhere good as the people who admire me the most, even my best isn’t comparable. But I try so hard… in pretty much every aspect of my life. To fail over and over again. But that’s life, failing and getting back up again to fail again. *sigh*

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A Visit From Lu Part 6

Father of Lies, Angel of Light, Crooked Serpent, Prince of Darkness, Satan, but you can call me Luci;
Now that you are getting to know me.
Antichrist, Beelzebub, Wicked One, there are so many,
Little Horn, King of Babylon, (I can go on), Abaddon, the Devil, the Most Unclean-
Whatever my name, there is another three.

Yet with all these names, so many will not believe
I am a carrier of light, shifting like transparency
The world is full of doubt, a goal I did achieve
It is mostly certain now, I am here to deceive

Temptation is the game, what is it that you envy?
Write out the list, I know the need
Your soul and bones, are full of greed
A buffet of sins, like gluttony

What is it that has you eyed?
How do you sleep at night while your tongue is tied?
Underneath the mask, there is so much pride,
Every word you speak, I know when you lied.

Centuries of fury, casting out your wrath
The demons are many, you haven’t done the math
If you think hell is empty, why did you choose this path?
If you think your hands are clean, from here I see a bloodbath

A sloth rampant with a taste for lust
How easy you pick them out with tongues of trust
And damnation covers your soul in a thick, wicked crust
I watch the irony rush over like a face that is flushed

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 7

A character drawing of Lu, I managed to squeeze in many of the names he goes by, the definition of Lu, as well as the seven deadly sins. Hope you enjoyed…

P.S. I never call Lu by his full name, I don’t know if you have ever picked up on that.

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Probability

The sky shows grey
The air smells of rain
This home is absent any memory
This mind is void of all sensory

There is moon but no champagne
Cold is remorse running in his vein
There is sound but no symphony
There is love but in its infancy

There is patience but he’ll refrain
And forgiveness he might entertain
Silence is my only company
Regret now a probability

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Excuses

Excuses are the only thing people will proudly show
And if the perception ever shifts, it’s into a direction they never grow
And if you ask them questions they always reply that they don’t know
And if you ask for help they’ll point to a direction you can go

They’ll tell you their mind is open when really it is closed
And when it comes to your life they will be always be brown-nosed
If you peek in their direction you can see their fears exposed
It’s a dog-eat-dog world where sensibility decomposed

© Delia Ross. 2019

You know these types right? They always have their nose in your business? They have your life completely figured out and don’t understand why you don’t? They always look at you with the intent to find fault. And they will even poke and prod you until you bite them and then they scream, “that dog is crazy, it bit me!!!!” Even though the dog is completely tame and loyal and will only bite in self-defense. They always have someone to aid their defense, “yeah, that dog bit her!!!” But the fact is the dog would have never bit if you hadn’t fucked with her… and that is why we have fences so stop jumping my fence and poking me then crying “crazy” when I bite. Grab a mirror, get in the fucking sea already. I don’t have a history of violence or crazy so try again. But, whatever makes you sleep better at night, right? I’ll tell you what makes me fucking sleep, weed. It also helps me not give a shit that you’re such a fucking asshole.

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Grudges

You can change it but then nothing changes except maybe faces if you live through the ages

You can hold grudges but then nothing’s worth shutting out the love she gives when it’s mixed with your ashes

She took all that skin you hid and she turned it into crosses

She prayed for the things that you did and turned it into magic

She drew a bridge over the sorrow and a tunnel through despair to bring you a brighter tomorrow

And though you gave her wings piercing sharp edges

She cut through your night and exposed a boy who’d gone missing

She tiptoed delicately and softly into your heart

Once inside she carved her name into your soul

And it ticks like a chime

And connects to her rhyme

And she’s with you all the time

And now you dream again

And hope is a sun

And day is a chance

And tomorrow is forgiven

For what crime is living

If you can’t have her around

Are you really going to be the stone that takes her down?

How many have you thrown at her now?

Do you line her mistakes up in a formation?

When she crumbles do you feel the vibration?

Does it give you a lot of appreciation?

When she falls do you feel a better man?

She put a dream in your hand

She made you feel something again

And now you wish her to be a better friend?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I just think people’s mistakes aren’t as bad as people make them out to be. Sometimes the innocent fall. Especially when faced with burdens and dilemmas (and often revelations). But the guilty will be the first to cast the stones. History has proved this time and time again… I had things I needed off my chest. I wasn’t going to do a rhyme and then I was and then I wasn’t and that seems to be the flow of the poem. It is what it is…

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Royal Blue

Take me out to that royal blue     
My eyes were always briny for you
Your words would cover my heart with your dew
And open were my eyes to the view

You drew landscapes of us in a sea of love
And navigable rivers my hands had become
And oceans of poetry that fit like a glove
And swollen were hearts on these boats that would come

My breath like wind fell choppy
Passing were rivers of doubt and nothing could stop me
High were the tides of your hope that was never rocky
Straight was the path to your heart, never winding

© Delia Ross. 2019

My heart wants what it wants. It doesn’t understand the who, the what, the when, the why, or the how. It just wants the now. I miss you.

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Exiled (Again)

They say I’m crazy but I’m really just a child
And when they act up I start acting wild
And when there’s no attention it only makes me riled
It’s like everyone’s a tribe and I’m the only one exiled

They say I’m crazy but I never did grow up
They don’t call me cougar cuz I’m still a cub or pup
Being an adult just wasn’t in my cup
It only requires nurturing to watch me develop

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’m a flower and if you pour light on me watch how I bloom (you can call me tulip)

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Never

Nothingness matters
Gravity in the darkest seed
Too many hers floating in his seas
Lick the hand where it bleeds
Watch the hate fill the need

His wrongs cancel any good
He’ll lie and tell you I misunderstood
Straight from the pits of Hell to a young girl’s neighborhood
He’s never known integrity anywhere he stood
I’ll never forgive him even if I could

© Delia Ross. 2019

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A Visit From Lu Part 4

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 1

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 2

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 3

A Visit From Lu Part 4

I don’t know how but it slipped my mind
And the devil’s first trick was well designed
I guess purgatory belongs to mankind
A week now has passed that I cannot rewind

He checked his watch, it must be a quarter past 3
And it’s been 2 days now he hasn’t heard from me
And for a change he turned on that dusty TV
In hopes to scramble thoughts he had been thinking

And somewhere in that tube the news was all the same
There’s chaos in the streets and the devil is to blame
There’s violence in the feed and no one feels ashamed
Repentance is for souls the devil can’t reclaim

The scientists claim that it is global warming
The bible warned God brought down the flooding
Revelations hint of a second coming
The devil bets the world thinks God is bluffing

He takes a shot of whiskey while changing the channel
The voices mumble ‘there’s nothing we can’t handle’
And now the weather is showing that flights are cancelled
But none of these things can take his mind off his angel

He checks again his computer and phone
He’s tried a hundred times her location is unknown
And he feels the worry sink into his bone
Her last message sent said she wasn’t alone

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 5

Oh my goodness, if you are an atheist, I am in no way trying to convert you and if you are religious this is in no way factual, it’s just fantasy. And if I can get to where I’m going with it, it’s an end of the world love story with themes of angels and devils and humans and whatever other stuffs I dream up. So far there’s at least four characters in the story, if you were to count technology as an entity (the tv voices, clocks/time, etc) and there’s a particular mood and tone and flow I am trying to keep throughout, not to mention I’m attempting this in poetry format, with some 24 lines each chapter/part (6/4). PHEW, IT’S TUFFS. (And I see people get likes on post that say nothing at all but skip giving me any praise for attempting something meaningful). We all run the same halls in hell. Whatev. If you like cool, if you don’t oh well. I still put up effort all the same. 👍✌

*It’s really scary me sharing this stuff, anything I do, I feel raw and exposed and inadequate as is, there’s always that fear of failure, that it isn’t good enough*

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Carcinogen

Gone but now back again
And by the end of the week
You’ll be missing then
It’s becoming routine
A cycle of ends
And now another peak
Is there ever zen
If honesty were to leak
I needed a friend
So frail and rarely meek
Are these Earthmen
It’s not what I seek
And you are carcinogen

© Delia Ross. 2019

Could use a fag now actually… (do Americans know it’s slang for cigarettes!?!)

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Cowardice

Wrap it tight, wrap it snug
Insert love with every word
Never rushed, never slurred
Ensuring messages are always heard

Now take the love and cut in thirds
Put on blinds so eyes are blurred
Gift denial so minds are stirred
Undo connections and act absurd

Destroy the paths, silence preferred
Hide in the dark, act a coward
Give them doubt to march toward
Give them pain where love was stored

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Marigolds

She knows not what she is holding
An infancy of love he is hoping
I can see his galaxy growing
While her orbit is slowing

Crown jewels are in his eyes, blue as skies
His hands belong with truth, never lies

His hair is a field of dreams
On which sunlight beams

She knows not what she scolds
He passes hope out like marigolds
And like the sun he is a centerfold
And worth more than all the gold

© Delia Ross. 2019

Digi art of my muse Alexander Ebert by me…
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Middle

I’ll take the middle of the night, when I’m feeling alright.
I’ll take the middle of the rush, I can never get enough.
I’ll take the middle of your love, where it fits like a glove.
I’ll take the middle of the page, and the center of your stage.
I’ll take the middle of your lie, the part you said you would try.
I’ll take the middle of the day, it feels the same anyway!
I’ll take the middle of knowing, that is where truth starts glowing.
I’ll take the middle of goodbye, that’s where our love died.
I’ll take the middle of nowhere, that’s the place I don’t care.

© Delia Ross. 2019

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The Trouble With Forever

The trouble with forever
It happens rarely ever
They put it in a letter
Then say that it is treasure

The trouble with forever
It happens next to never
They promise you less error
Then leave in stormy weather

The trouble with forever
For worse or for better
At first they give you pleasure
Then the rest is only terror

The trouble with forever
It feels light as a feather
It promises only leisure
But it’s gone once there’s pressure

© Delia Ross. 2019

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A Visit From Lu Part 3

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 1

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 2

A Visit From Lu Part 3

Lu entered my door bringing despair
He had it gift wrapped for extra flair
He covered it in agony to make it look rare
He had a look of concern but I know he didn’t care

So there we were both grinning –
Like in a game of chess but the devil’s always winning
The only hand I play is a joker never sinning
The only life I live is the one I’m never living

As Lu drew nearer he sat upon my table
Like an uninvited guest who should leave but isn’t able
And I am starting to feel very unstable
But my doubt only makes Lu more grateful (and we sat there through April)

Now the window shows that it is winter
And the fear is growing in my center
And all this doubt makes my tongue bitter
The devil got under me without lifting a finger

It’s like if I move a piece I’ll open Pandora’s box
And you know the devil can crawl just watch how he talks
And you know the devil can dance just watch how he walks
And you know the devil is purgatory just watch all the clocks

I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
Whatever move, Lu will condone
He is a step ahead, anytime I’m wrong
How do you knock a devil off of a throne

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my goodness, 3 was a challenge! Notice how the devil seems to be moving his way throughout my house/life in this series? The underlining theme in chapter 3 is depression (purgatory). As well as, how we need to be careful about the choices we make in life. I didn’t set out for it to be this way, it’s just how the story developed. I hope you likey (the 5th stanza is my favorite)! 😊

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 4

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Beginnings in Endings

Beginnings in endings
Soft steps of destiny
Like pillows for the needing
Love letters for the mending
Like lovers when they’re healing
When time is for the stealing

Your kiss is the life I missed
Your kiss will stop the apocalypse
When love is like an eclipse
When doubts are in the abyss
When safety it is this
When silence are my lips

Home is your kingdom in my heart
When worlds come together, not apart
When my hand is your start
Where your step is the best part
Your existence my art
Where my love will never depart

© Delia Ross. 2019

I write these words for you, they are yours, as is my heart.

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If

If words had weight
If wrongs had reasons
If wounds didn’t ache
If forgiveness had seasons

If goodbyes came with rainbows
If my love was chose
If only I was enough
If only he’d show up

If hands had healing
If tears had feelings
If life had meaning
If hearts were beating

If moments were real
If love were ideal
If lights were not blinding
If you would stop hiding

If galaxies were moving
If darkness stopped the blooming
If alibis were candy
If heartaches were brandy

© Delia Ross. 2019

If only I knew how to end this fucking heartache…