I’m so isolated and shut off from the world that the maintenance dude said he was worried about me when I didn’t answer the door 👀
I actually thanked him because there’s no one checking in on me 👀
Just because I write doesn’t mean I small talk or gossip
I am not a socialite
I am a Soldier (not a civilian)
I am an introvert
I don’t like the state of anything in the world
I can’t even go buy an egg sandwich or a Coke in the can at the goddamn gas station without getting into fucking World War III because everybody wants to make $20 an an hour with a three dollar attitude and terrible work ethic
I was making over $25 an hour for nearly 8 years with the DOD but I sank with the financial fucking recession and the government hiring freezes and the government furloughs but you don’t give a fuck about that do you?
You don’t give a fuck that I had to eat up my life savings and my retirement savings just to get through this fucking pandemic!
You don’t give a fuck about that do you? Cause I didn’t buy your fucking book or I don’t act like your best fucking friend!
There are many books and CDs I would actually like to buy I just can’t at the moment because I live paycheck to paycheck and every fucking dollar goes to paying my main cost of living which I’m barely doing – I’m living under my means, but you don’t give a fuck about that do you cause I’m not tit for tat!
Fake fake fake!!!!!!!
I’m not dying on the street!!!
(My therapist is calling me today finally – they’ve been trying to reach me for a long time) 👀
I get to let my doctor know that I stopped disassociating for 5 minutes to check the news, and now I’m more disengaged and paranoid. 👀
I get to let him know that I almost had World War III with the gas station clerk. 👀
There’s something seriously wrong with the world 👀
Feel free to blame me – as long as I get to stay away
Put me back in my foxhole!!!! 👀
Give me my M16A2 rifle! 👀
I am still a Soldier! 👀
*Realizes she’s stuck on the Titanic because all the rich people have locked her on the bottom of the Titanic and now they’re hanging out on boats that could’ve had more people watching me sink*
The reason I don’t check in on people is because I don’t have the social abilities to communicate currently. 👀
And the rare few people that I do decide to check in on, 98% of them give me a fucking attitude in return.
And I refuse to be manipulated or controlled by you and you’re fucking everywhere aren’t you
I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t so I just want to be alone 👀
And I don’t wanna get to know you because you just want to ask for me for free nudes
Or my hand in marriage 👀
I’m not interested in you 👀
I’m wholly obsessed with 2 dudes and I have never once talked to my therapist about that sort of behavior 👀
They don’t want anything to do with me 👀
But I’m like Bush how he was with Congress when they passed shit into law and Bush said I don’t care and then he did all those “signing statements” because voting means absolutely fucking nothing and you and I no longer have rights because we’ve moved into a fucking Hitler state hello hello hello