Posted on by poeeternal

heaven

heaven is the silence you presented
all wrapped in chalice and neatly printed
the moon withholds grudges but not glares
unlike our choices, we’re stuck on who cares

Copyright Ā© 2024 Delia Ross /@poeeternal. All rights reserved.

poems after midnight: my specialty

the last line could be better – i’m not saying it’s not a good line

i don’t have a husband to edit my poems

there was a guy once who tried to enhance me – and i mistook it for love

like i would send him my lines and he’d be like “it’s really good as is but you could do this”

and it was the opposite how i felt getting back an essay i’d written where the college professor even red marked the title

like sometimes them professors made you feel like you wish you were never born

it took 4 days to write and them 30 seconds to terroize

but he wasn’t like that with my words

he was gentle

and i yelled at him and all his friends

i mean – to be fair – i have been possessed – by parasites

i ain’t been acting according to myself – whoever that may be – cuz i don’t want it to be her

becoming someone new is difficult but they say 6 months is all you need

and 7 years to grow a new spine

so thank you for your silence – because ironically – your voice is the only one i want to hear šŸ˜

even the accents – those too

i mean i like yelling at you?

all i said was “i like your voice”

and you were like “it’s not mine”

and i’m like “you don’t gotta be rude” and like instantly i knew that i don’t belong anywhere in this Satanic society cuz i always humiliate myself

i like to pay compliments

they cost a lot

maybe you could (or someone) could write a story about that

i’m sure it was already done

but God likes stories

now i can’t attest or speak solely for God

but like – who doesn’t like a good story?

could you maybe do audiobooks?

wordpress allows audio

im shadowbanned in society

an outcast

but tiktok wants me to sell u stuff

like what would i sell you? a pill for happiness? the next best detox?

a mini trampoline?

GUYS THESE SOCKS ARE GREAT FOR JUMPING

like can i just focus on writing poetry and not jumping off a bridge?

i do not want to commodify myself?

i do miss blogging but

not at the cost of my soul

i miss having a real life

offline

and until i figure that part out

then idgaf about being online

the landlord out here emailing 24 hour demands or else

so im packing my bags

and deleting my personal email

im not on call 24/7 for the fucking landlord

AS IF…

me the next time anyone anywhere anyone anywhere anyone anywhere

and not to be dramatic but mygunsoesnothaveasafety

or – the safety is actually on the trigger

so i mean my name is registered to something i cannot return nor do not want

ghost guns are legal huh

never knew of those before

andnowiwantone

and a story written about a ghost gun

so any premeditated thangy is an act of terrorism huh

and our private trash is public treasure

better start burning

they can’t track cash transactions

you can’t keep low in public unless u wanna take claim

Boomers are greedy hungry rats

people don’t care if u got an inheri – they will try and drain yer wallet

they won’t even say “sorry for your loss” but prob something like “not deserved”

well i wasn’t praying for my dad to die…

i identify as another lost angel

and sadness is all i have to sell

but i am happy to be packing and moving God knows where again?

im learning to be the lion in the den

im the lion tho and u better pray i am sleeping

ta ta 4 now

luv u

Posted on by poeeternal

The plot thickens

I thought Bob was in-the-closet gay

But now itā€™s worse

I think he was bi – f*cking both the brother and the sister – but the brother was also f*cking the sister, which is legal in his country and they donā€™t adopt American ideology or policy or change their spots obtaining a green card

And the doctor hired the hit because he wasnā€™t losing his expensive, artificial, soulless Barbie because his yellow fever propaganda returned home ā€œfor a few secondsā€ (but the demon doll fell asleep so how could she know how long he stayed or when he left)

Do you think Netflix would buy my story?

Yes? Maybe? No? (Pick one)

THIS

People dropping rhyme in comments and Iā€™m feeling jelly

Posted on by poeeternal

Ghosted (poetry)

I’ve been ghosted again
Rambling
These feet catch wind
No shambling
I’m lite as sin
Soul gambling

Ā© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal

This is the way God wants it

I’m convinced

He wants me focused on healing ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹

Course correcting

Plugging the ship

Making soup with thangs he grows

The earth has veins and we’re mining her and that’s why sinkholes form

The Devil wants to destroy everything God made and organic

He loves synthetic

The Bible has been rewritten so many times that you are actually serving a dark entity. You are worshiping the devil.

And a false entity

I’ve made so many mistakes

Got a new identity

Getting the apartment back to a shell

I look like I’m moving in or out of hell

Posted on by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Write (poetry)

I notice when he’s gone
Even though clouds are glowing moonlight
But in the breeze my thoughts are blown
I haven’t even words to write

Ā© Delia Ross. 2022 / @poeeternal

No filter. No makeup. Hardly any bathing suit šŸ¤Ŗ

Next Friday I turn 44. Potentially. Still putting up the good fight even though I’ve shriveled away to 118 pounds.

All fleshy stuffs.

No Botox/plastic/fillers

Just a whole lot of gravity and mess softness

Teardrops šŸ˜Œ

I just picked up this little triangle bikini top from the thrift today – and also recently learned that this style first originated in the 40s.

Posted on by poeeternal · 5 Comments

A poem and a point

Walked on water for you
Tamed a lion or two
Called you out of the blue
Turned your sorrow to dew

Ā© Delia Ross. 2022

And if you need perspective, yes, it happened overnight

I was getting close to 500 likes and within a matter of hours, skyrocketed to the thousands

It’s insane I know

But it was good filming, right spot, right time

Because the universe is mathematical and live long enough the variables will play out

This was good clean pure fun entertainment tho

No money involved

So chill

I work damn hard putting out content, I would love to be able to have the opportunity to go live to bring the zen and the chaos

I enjoy watching people ride their bike on the beach and at some point I’ll probably get me a bike that will fit in my jeep and I’ll take my jeep on the beach but I’m dying

I don’t feel like taking my jeep to the cleaning port afterwards because I want to spend a day on the beach but I’m going to change my perspective about it because I’d probably feel a whole lot safer if I did have my jeep on the beach and then I’d feel like taking a nap too

I don’t want to go to the drive-through to get food anymore because people are toxic and not worth dying for

It sucks though that when I was growing up and serving others I was fucking nice

I had good customer service

This is hell

But yeah, the 10k mark feels good

It wasn’t bought

I earned that bitch

I certainly wasn’t expecting four videos to go viral and to continue to go viral and are still going viral

I never even had a chance to feel what it feels like to climb to the top, it’s like the opposite of gravity, I was just flung there

God felt my despair with the whole wine bottle business

I was like this shit again

I can’t deal

This is madness, what am I here for if I can’t change anything

God: experience

Me: oh

So now I’m still trying to sort it out

But what I really need is for someone to come help me get my master bedroom together

And then my kitchen so that I can start working on developing a better relationship that I have with my kitchen and food that I put in my body

And the lifeguard told me yesterday that I need to spend 30 minutes a day reading the Bible

I need spiritual food he says

And one week away from my phone and the Internet

I said what? I can’t even do an hour…

I can’t shut it off šŸ˜©

And then it occurred to me that games have intermissions and that the players get breaks

I can just chill up here at the top for a little bit it’s OK

And for those of you who are still interested in my nude photography, I have medical appointments that are upcoming that I need to get to and to some sort of place where I have the energy and mindset to do it and then I’ll be able to turn subscriptions back on, thank you for your interest in my content

I also want to have a section on my blog that is donate or subscribe only to get the naughty content

Of course, my content isn’t naughty because I don’t really do any kind of dirty work nor do I act like a dirty girl

It’s taboo mostly and nude art photography

And I get to call it art because I put effort in making it sensual seductive sexy playful or whatever mode I’m trying to get across

I’m born to make babies

I was born this way

Stop telling me it’s sinful to have emotions when I have neurons firing 24/7

I think about sex a lot, I’m going to share my sexuality, deal with it

Men have been raping me and sexually hurting me since I was a tiny baby so you don’t get to blame what I’m wearing anymore

You don’t get to blame my personality or my choices

Just let me live and breathe

I don’t have much time left and I’m not doing good with the breathing even when I’m at the beach capturing footage that goes viral

Chill

Walked on water for you

Let me enjoy the summit

There’s no rush down

I’ll probably die trying anyway

Clumsy

Gullible

Prone to making being talked into the wrong choice

šŸ˜ž

RIP John Jones

Is this from you buddy?

I got your bones, you got mine kind of thing?

I finally have a brother! šŸ¤©

Also me: “I see dead people”

Posted on by poeeternal

CDC And FDA Trusted By Only Half Of Americans : NPR

A new Harvard poll shows that only half of Americans trust the CDC ā€” other health agencies were rated even lower. During a pandemic, trust is critical to the success of a public health response.
ā€” Read on www.npr.org/2021/05/13/996331692/poll-finds-public-health-has-a-trust-problem

Not very shocking that half of Americans think the CDC is full of shit. šŸ‘€

You can now include me in that list.

Posted on by poeeternal

Cover

My love,
You put on the night
You show up in darkness
Then cover me with light

My love,
I know I give you fright
I show up with harness
Then deliver you more sight

My love,
Everythingā€™s gonna be alright
The world is ours to harvest
And loveā€™s the color white

Ā© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

That opening stanza tho, right?

You blow my mind!

I want nothing more than to chain you up, blindfold you, gag ball you, and lick, claw, scratch, suck, bite, and tickle torture you, until youā€™re screaming for release.

Wrong chat? Cuz. I just wanted to make sure the poem said all that. šŸ‘€

Sorry, not sorry.

I need to do a TikTok video of me doing a ā€œhe loves me he loves me notā€ with me on each shoulder talking about how ā€œit is himā€ and then my right shoulder is like ā€œno that isnā€™t himā€ but then my left shoulder is like ā€œoh itā€™s definitely himā€ but then my right shoulder is like ā€œit isnā€™t himā€ and I continue going on with the ā€˜he loves me, he loves me notā€™ while pulling petals from a rose for like 30 or 60 seconds, but I donā€™t know how to fucking make a cool TikTok video.

But ideas.

And then I get to play three different versions of myself , you know the angel on the right and the devil on the left and the me now pulling the petals….

Because thatā€™s exactly whatā€™s going on every fucking day this week.

Not him, yep him, maybe not, definitely is šŸ‘€

Posted on by poeeternal

Lit (a one-sentence story)

When he looks at you like you are the very fuse to which he is lit.

Ā© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Big big feels.

Good morning from the land that always shines even though the sun hasn’t risen yet (AKA “the sunshine state”).

P.S. Jim Morrison was from Florida. He was such a California boy I forget that fact. “I dig the south”. “Let’s get tacos”.

Carry on…

Posted on by poeeternal · 4 Comments

Snow

He falls like snow
Gently weeping
Hope crystallized
White and pristine
And do my wings fall deeply
Leaving patterns unstained
Just memories to remain
He comes like cold December waving
Celestial dreaming
Calm and endless

Ā© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I just dropped a new mental health TikTok! Have you seen it? https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMej83c2A/

Thanks for checking out my work!

Posted on by poeeternal · 3 Comments

Fragments

Take the air from where I breathe
He will never notice me

There you go again
Breaking my heart
For just a thrill
It’s overkill

A thousand times over
You have made your point
And I know
I am never what you sought
Though lurking
I am aching where you haunt
Through searching
Though every tear was bought

Age of despair
But like an ember
I flare him up
Because I care
And I’ve no defense
From getting burned everywhere

I was in alliance with ineptitude

Love is like the beginning and the end. Alpha omega. I love you. I’ll kill you. But I love you forever.

You look like you are dying
Bu you are already dead

As above, so below
My aura is here to glow

This great depression.

There will be no headstone
No grave
From life to dust
I’m not okay (RIP daddy)

Where are you?
In every molecule?
The early morning dew?
The air I breathe on lonely avenue?

Where are you?
If not but in every dream I dream?
Clinging to the in-between?
Wondering if I can be seen?

All God is woe.

My bed is overrated.

I don’t know where to begin so I’d rather not start at all…

Where have the best years of my life gone

At 26,000 light-years away, it’s the closest we’ve ever been-
And if regret is a singularity, it’s finally creeping in (re: black hole)

I got cigarette burns on my skin
Black holes where he’s been
There’s cold creeping in
A hundred reasons why I sin

You’re just her whipping boy
You’re a tool
You want to be her toy
You’re a fool

I know not what holds him here
I am a dry sponge, brittle
The way time taunts me
Like I am little

Give me a veil
Let’s rest in hell

I got secrets that would disown me
The way he’s unholy
Still that’s my only

I wish Sagittarius A* would put on his parking breaks
Throw me into another galaxy if that’s what it takes

I am a living statue
To darkness, his bride
(Well that’s a lie)
Still isn’t he by my side?

It’s so dark on the inside
Maybe why I cry

Banned under the same sunbeam
From things I’ve seen
Those things I’ve seen are haunting me

Take away the ray
Take away the ray
It’s burning

Chained to existence
Wishing I didn’t remember you
That’s coming too
I won’t remember who

My eyes are sunspots
Turning grey
From things you say

Married to hopelessness
Decay
Mourning
Sorrow
Despair
Isolation
Loneliness
Quantum confusion
Heartache
Wilderness
Wonder
Beauty
Longing
Truthfulness
Purity
Humanity
All entities
The air we breathe
The hope we seek
The light we keep

She built an empire on a pyramid scheme. She’s an evil queen.

The world can burn for all I care.

Sometimes
Even under soft moons
Or enduring high noons
There will be casualties of war

And even when I face doom
And circling is his tomb
I believe there is love within his core

He’s been charged with possession of stolen property; my heart.

In the beginning there was nothingness. Now in the end, nothing is.

The only lines I cross are rhyme.

You are the cold emptiness of space
Absolute zero
You are the reason I lay in waste
You’re not a hero

Come to me
By frothy sea
Shine your light
I fancy thee

I was born into confusion
Believe this, believe that
It’s all delusion
Best theory or illusion

I’m so much better than that flock of shit you summon
Your mouth is the opposite direction I am running
Your lies only come by the dozen
You can knock but you can’t come in
The darkness covers all but it’s my coven
You ain’t welcome here again

You fool
How desolate and awkward your thoughts lead you
Rising plumes of gloom
And I an idiot more
To watch how hope you consume
Bereft of pulse
A necrophiliac
You lifted pen then I had life
But then you call creation strife
But I died again after witnessing your child and wife

I’m a rib from your side
A curse like Dracula’s bride
Or Bonnie and Clyde
I drink your love like cyanide
Mixed with hope and rhyme

I am a dead sea
A red sea
A bad seed
Devolving
Unsolving
Dead, see?

Death do us part

I’m tired of defending my actions against your lies
From sunup to sundown I am wise
I can see clearly with these eyes
You can’t erase these cries

Loving him is a sentence to death row.

Why does my love always cause destructive tidal waves?

Did you know mountains were resting on your shoulder named envy?
You let me crash on your soul in frenzy
I’m dizzy
Did you not need me?

Did you know moons were glowing with envy?
Heartache cost not a penny
But I got plenty
If you need any?

Distance is
The love we keep
And even further
The solution we seek

Life’s a waiting room
Give my wound a womb
Erase the moon
Erect my tomb
You are full doom

Now I owe you nothing
Soul paid
I’m reduced to hurting

Oh! What heavens I could reach with your arms!

Did you know when I look up I find you stargazing into my soul
You know where every prayer goes

Dear Edgar,
I can’t live without my love either
But he is lost in the ether
I can’t reach him neither

Edges of time his mind
I go missing every time
His rhyme
Holding me to crime
His line
Wishing on a dime

Not everyone is created equal
Like the ones who pull out fast then take it slow
Those aren’t my kind of people

Sometimes, I climb into the ether where we met
Heaven is risky but I took the step
You feel like eternity in an instance
Gotta keep our distance

Ā© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Digiart of & by @poeeternal (lyrics by NIN)
Digiart of & by @poeeternal (lyrics by NIN)

Thanks for checking out my blog and for supporting Indie artists!

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Thoughts, Ideas, Little Rhymes

There are galaxies growing full on regret with spiral arms chasing all it can get.

I should have been more careful with words
The way they hollow out the bone
And some forgive, some repent, most return the stone

His words are a ruse, perhaps a bruise, a broken home, where I still choose

He is my muse, a sun or fuse, a high with blues, regret in two’s

He’s got bullets for hands
Fingers like loaded magazines
With a mouth full of conniption
His life is nothing but fiction
And he’s all but evil in his genes

I’m so tired of carrying this cross; the weight of everything I’ve done.
These last steps have only shown loss; and coming last, the loneliness I won.

Will you remember me when I’m only dust?
When failed dreams are all but rust?
Will you remember what we discussed?
Will you keep safe my love of us?

Take your broken piece
Take my broken bits
Align them together
Broken pieces that fits

The good die
The wicked live
The faithful cry
The sinful don’t forgive

There’s only room in the world for the wicked
Trust might be earned but you won’t keep it

Shuddering since the day my eyes befell you

What are you if not the every breath I take

The sight of his lip makes me weak
The sound of his voice makes me tremble
The way the blue in his eye makes me hunger
Trip and fall under

He came stumbling in half-drunk on whiskey and regret
Any feelings he hadn’t killed them yet

His voice in a low rumble
Makes my atoms jumble
Feel them roll and stumble
How I crumble
Now I’m humble

I could listen to his voice for hours
Swallowing all eternity
He plants words in me like flowers
Growing taller is the love we need

You step out of my dream and into existence and take me for a moonlit walk
With night flowers blooming and hours still looming the Moon carefully gawks
My hands you are holding with energy flowing your lips where my kisses dock
And our shadows growing where love comes out flowing our hearts beating like clocks

I’ve got 5 grams of darkness left for sale
And an army of fears in a pale
There’s a case of worry over there
And for an upgrade you can go to hell

I can feel my face literally breaking
From the pain in my chest where my heart is still aching
Roads become regrets we are constantly taking

I wonder what color my hair is underneath all this shame

Come back my love
Where my wild winds are blowing

It’s the end of the world today
A sad parade
And marching out slowly the hope that will fade

Sometimes he hurts me just to watch the sea level rise

I have night terrors and unholy cries
My worth so little not worth goodbyes
The days might be changing but not these grey skies

But for moments lost with you
I forgot about the war

Or what I’m searching for

I open every door

Love me now
Before you can’t anymore

I’m his bird
Carefully observed
Pecking away at his every word
My hope reserved
And hell deserved
But love is here
And well preserved

@POEETERNAL

Ā© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

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Dear Tribe

I love you. And I’ve got so much, I don’t know where to put it all. So sending love, lots of love. Because any one of us could be gone at any minute. And I don’t want to waste an ounce of my love. I’m just going to keep giving it until I can’t. And these are very dark days. But the love is the light. Stay in the light. Don’t let hate and anger become dark matter. They say there’s more darkness than there is light in the world, so in a way, the light is always fighting to be seen. And I believe that our souls are energy and that energy goes somewhere when we die. Energy seems to be the only thing that’s constant. And my love. I may be petite but my love is expanding like the universe. Spiral out, keep going… šŸ˜Š xxoo

KISS
Posted on by poeeternal

Half Broken Dreams (And Poetry)

It’s been a minute since I’ve shared one of these, half broken dreams and poetry. It’s like I’m ripping apart from the seams. Go ahead, take a piece of me.

How foolish to believe he could love a girl like me
A girl who’s good and full of integrity
How stupid to think I had any charm
I’m just a girl avoiding harm

But the sun it never sleeps
And my heart it always weeps
But the secrets that you carry
Are too much for one to bury

I am hard on the edges
Always hanging off of ledges
He is soft as a peach
A heart enriched and simply sweet

He is a moving sea
Wrapped up in poetry
The way it moves with me
So gently

The emptiness settles over me like fog rolling over hills and mountains…

If only he’d given us a chance, we might have got it right.

He’s like a midnight haunting
I’m always wanting
The way he taunts me
It’s like he wants me

Taking off my clothes on some days is harder than facing an enemy with a bomb…

Selfie
Selfie

Their tongues instantly went in orbit around each other.

He has a different touch
It’s not layered with thorns
And underneath his surface
There isn’t any horns

Her lips turn centuries
The way he lets her hang onto forever
She burns like midnight oil
But like a wildfire let her burn
Then the seeds will come

You just sit there letting yourself harden
Where is your heart then
May I still tend?

You, you are home
Your words my magic kingdom
Your mind a wicked garden
Your voice my heart’s beacon

Why does she get all of the reward?

She’s putting lipstick on her cracks
As she crawls around his back
Any love for her I lack

I am married to doubt
My tears falling devout
Like rain coming down a sprout
I’m given out

Danger here be the heart. All poetry be in my veins.

It comes at me like three round burst
The anxiety is getting worse
The loss of hope is where it hurts

History is going to be written whether we succeed or fail.

Keep your heart open they say
But now uninvited guests have come to stay

Condemnation building like condensation.

Truth bites and barks like a rabid dog
I pretend there is life in the lie
Reason knocks hurrily like he’s got somewhere to be
I told him to get lost
I drowned him with liquor

Ā© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (please & thank you): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Wolf Moon

You come waning through
And full bring me to you
Wide in my view
Pulse quickens too

Anyone else obsessed with our moon? As a woman (and as of most things in nature), my cycles follow the Moon… life evolves and flourishes because of the Moon. So many mating rituals in nature itself, under her glow. And so I always see the moon as feminine energy. Or feel rather. We’re made mostly of water, I feel her tug. They say she’s spinning further away, and one day Earth will no longer be able to hold her. Yet on some days she feels closer than ever. Some dismiss her powers. I write about her alot in my poetry. My pets think the Sun goes to sleep at night, and the sky gets angry and cries. The wind is an entity too, especially in Florida with the hurricanes… BUT when I told my dog we needed the water the sky cries, I saw his mind expand I swear… šŸ¤“

Anyhoo, I wrote this during that recent wolf moon we had. I have a lot of stuff I’ve started but haven’t finished. Some may never see the light of day. But even Edgar Allan Poe’s unpublished stuff wound up getting published. My words are my legacy really. And my words are the only thing I have control of right now. And I never know how many I have left. How many words have I used? What’s remaining? Nothing is infinite. Everything dies. I mean, one day, this fucking galaxy will be gone… poof. Vanished. Our existence completely annihilated. Dust. Bones. Gone. The only thing that matters is right now.

Sorry to get deep on you but it’s now 3 AM and I’m feeling socially deprived and chatty. āœŒ

And if you didn’t catch the double meanings in the poem, I was referring to how a certain person quickens me, and there’s a slight sexual reference in there. I always tell people art is subjective though including poetry so you get from it what you get from it. It doesn’t have to be what the writer wrote… āœŒ

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He Never Cared

Another year alone on this road I go
And why he never cared
I may never know
Eyes that often stared
No space for hearts to grow
Every moment shared
A price that I still owe
My soul forever impaired
Just want love to flow

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

You know, I still cry over the fact that he never even wished me a happy birthday this year and it was the only thing I even wanted. But I watch him tell other girls happy birthday. He makes me feel small and insignificant. He always does, he always has. As if he were born to make me regret ever being born. Crying now but whatever. As long as he sleeps at night, right?

Posted on by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Regarding Love

You shouldn’t lead someone on if you never have the intentions of loving them.

You should give people a real chance at love if you are truly searching for a real connection.

If it’s a game of use and muse, the stakes should be known.

I was used, I was lead down a bullshit path, and I was never given a proper chance. He awoke me to the possibility of love without the intentions of ever loving me. And I am the full package and I also know that we’re compatible. But, it was all head games for him. I honestly wish I had never met him (virtually). Or gave any of the very best parts of me (poetry) to him.

But it’s easy to forget, what you’ve done to me…

You took me for a ride / you took me for all the other fools in your life / but I don’t care about your pain anymore
I need to say goodbye…
Posted on by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Lists

Depression worry not
Just divide your time into slots
Write a list of don’ts
Match it with the won’ts
Give the list a plot
Tie it in a knot
Care not where I rot
Then again on second thought
Gotta find that perfect spot
And then maybe it’s worth a shot
I’m a zombie: life and death is a constant postpone
It takes all of my energy just to sit here and moan

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

Oh my fucking gawdddddd, how many times have you heard, “just make a list” when you are depressed? I’m going to make a list alright and shove it up their fucking ass. I can’t even make a list on how to die. My will is not up to date. I can’t even fucking decide on a way. Or a place. And then, the dog… BUT I digress, somehow, if I just start making lists on things to be done (with dying number one) then my life would be in order, and if I just let God in I wouldn’t be depressed either, so says society. But if I tell my doctors that I want to fucking kill myself, they’ll take everything from me and lock me up in a fucking rubber room. Barbaric are the practices for treating depression. So, since no one can get it fucking right, y’all get to sit back and judge me from behind your screens, and some of you will even poke and prod me and then when I bite you call me crazy and you disappear. And since society has a hard time understanding that being depressed is not the same as being fucking crazy, the death toll continues to rise and I’m trying my hardest to jump on that fucking bandwagon. But, I’m too lazy too sick to even write a list of things to get done. And I don’t think I really want to die, I just want a friend cuz isolation is cold and dark and it’s kinda scary in here and fuck you for not forgiving me for biting you when you caused me to bite in the first place. Shame on you.

  • Get house in order
  • Godparents for pets?
  • Update will
  • Say goodbyes
  • Write letters
  • Pick outfit
  • Method of dying?
  • Location?
  • Famous last words
Posted on by poeeternal · 13 Comments

Writings On My Wall

Sun salutations
Wrong allegations
Misweighted information
Long lines of waiting
Years we spent wasting
Love we’ve been chasing
Hearts have been breaking
So tired of hating
Constantly debating
Everyone is faking
Lying & taking
People are shaking
The world is deteriorating


What sort of end are you after
Destroyed it all, even the laughter
Killed the love in the heart of the matter
Took to flight, left agony here to gather

They are like Romeo and Juliet destined to be driven apart yet tethered together by the heart

Here it comes, the end again but this time he brought the apocalypse with him. Lasso my smile and pull down my grin cuz here it is the end again.

Did you know
Wherever you are
I still love you

Did you know
Whoever you become
I will always love you

And then he softly asked about my wants, “just forever babe, I’ll take forever babe”

Give my regards to Bacchus
Tell him I’m just a carcass
But if it wasn’t for his sweet wine
I might not make it through this time

He creates the wave
Then punishes me for riding it
The riptide pulls me under
And he watches me persist


I thought I was falling
I thought you would catch me
I thought I was falling
But it was only a hole
For my soul
Where did the love go?
All I feel is empty
And cold, in this beautiful hole
You dug for me

Hello non-believer
Of anything

Here lies a possibility,
But could you believe her?

The edge is on the horizon
The horizon is how you die
But the wave you’re currently riding
Is the fear you feel inside
As the doom continues rising
So does the panic to decide
So now the boat where you were hiding
Is now the place your soul has died
As you think of all the times you tried
And you let go of hope one final time
Blame the shade of sorrow for why you cried
And your final word becomes goodbye


If you ever feel the sadness in you growing
You never were the reason for me going

Sorry if you saw my love as poison
When it comes to failure I was the chosen

And to a world that’s evermore vacant
You weren’t the reason for me ever staying

Love was something I never knew
And if my love was warm well now it is frozen

Take the wool and pull it over someone else’s eyes please

It’s like everyone is set on destruction mode
And I am set to go… here’s the code, 123, watch me blow
But what happened? I don’t know

And the sign says “you are too qualified”
And the sign read “you are too good”
I apply instead and still get denied
He’ll reply and say “you misunderstood”

And the eye will say “all welcome here”
And the room will stare, “are you misplaced dear”
And the mind will lie and replace the fear
And his hand extends, “this way’s not clear”

Take for granted my kindness I give to you
Take for granted the nights I tried to get through
Take my love and bury it six feet under too
You can’t kill it no matter what you do

She’s at it again, same ole tricks
Like a snake using sex to lure sin
Like a witch with a capture potion
It’s the only way she can get any licks

She was a doll and they all wanted her to break.

You’re getting close, getting close, getting closer
You’re moving fast, always last, getting older
Nobody knows, though we asked, for some closure
Same ratios, lethal dose, then it’s over

An angel slipped from the clouds of heaven
Looking over eternity to get a better view of him
Golden gates spread into the wide open
She spiraled down the hope of his dreams
And he awoke with her feather under his pillow
And from its tip, he spilled his ink all over her future

She danced among the wails of purgatory
Decades she waited outside walls of longing
She stabbed the night so light could shine through
And every star that twinkles is a wish she made for you
His step grows lighter, while her wing drags across his bruise
Her heart carries the weights of love
Her love so pure an ounce can make dreams come true

I slip into his poetry like a favorite pair of pajamas.

Living alone, hiding decline
Rainbows to prison at anytime
Dust keeps collecting above his faint shrine
So he keeps to settling among the lost swine

To me, he’s worth more than any gold
Long ago his self-worth was sold
He dwells among shadows as he was once told
He’ll need to find his courage to be bold

He’s so deep in me
My aura is spinning
And through spirals I’m swimming
In a loop of beginnings
And with a touch of fate, no endings
These soulquakes

I am a galaxy so faint you can barely see it.

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

Clippings from the sleeve of my heart…

Posted on by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Percentages

Atone? She scoffed, her wings curled in and the tips had frost

And then from the distance and frigid past, a noise of an entry, he returned at last

And the shockwaves and ripples, commenced, standing on emptiness

She sighed, “what did you forget”?

“…that I’m in, one hundred percent”, he replied

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t really know what to call this thing but it was just something I was feeling cuz feelings happen in the now…

Posted on by poeeternal · 1 Comment

Polaroid

I want everybody to be you and when they’re not I’m destroyed
And that leaves me wondering what kind of blockage you’ve deployed
Because life is at a stop when it is life that I avoid
For every memory stored you are a mental polaroid

I don’t want this and I don’t want that
If it’s not you it’s not allowed to pass
This toll booth is closed, you must find another path
If the thought isn’t of you, I’m going to squash it flat

Now my heart is closed and nothings getting through
And all these other feelings have no revenue
Now my doctor claims skies aren’t the only thing that’s blue
Yet none of these pills kill my desires of you

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019


OH MY EFFING GAWD right, so, Alexander Ebert is reading an entire book on the awesome app he created called Tuners (it’s kind of like Instagram or Facebook without the video or photos and is radio format for open communications about anything). I drop a wee bit of rhyme there, I’m shy. People freestyle. It’s awesome and FREE. Alex is about as unplugged as they come, he’s a genius and my muse. šŸ™‚ He’s teaching me how to be human. Anyhoo, this book he’s reading called “The Untethered Soul” is teaching me some stuffs. Pretty amazing I enjoy still learning. So chapter 6 got me heated and I left some commentary on Tuners about it. But I also woke up and freestyle dropped this poem *giggles* cuz as of yesterday I was ready to pack it in and quit. Writing all together. And living too I think. Whatev. I’m emo. Sue me. Wouldn’t be the first time. “The grass was greener, the light was brighter, the taste was sweeter, with friends surrounding, the nights of wonder, forever and ever…” (and bonus points if you know that song). Oh, the poem is about that dude I like clearly (not Alex, duh). But how many of us do that; cling to something? A memory, a moment whether it is good or bad? And that actually prevents us from living in the now. Living in the now, allows life to flow and happen naturally. But when we cling to the past, or to a thought, we are blocking the energy of essentially everything else around us. And this is true so often, for so much. So to really appreciate life, we must strive to be in the now. āœŒ

Note to self: STOP CLINGING

P.S. I’ll update later with some links to Tuners.

P.S.S. And so the lesson is, stop clinging, live in the now, leave your heart open, allow energy to flow. And we decide this ourselves every moment of our lives. It’s up to you to live free. (Meditation helps to clean out negative energies, I use rock and stone).

Posted on by poeeternal

Feathers

Cold, dark orbits
Just a passenger to his need
Closed windows but still the wind is furious
And racing around every corner you bleed

Sealed off any exits
Like black tar and sticky
Removed any altering
Whores we are worshipping
Coffins as an offering
Death is evermore

Started as something, ended as something else
Destroy the bond, empty the shelf
You took it all, there’s nothing left

Wrong delusion
Precious lunatic
You found my fault line
Every fucking time

And from my pieces
You built a ship
Tested my innocence
Got another taste of it
And delicious is every bit
And I stretch out my finger
As you take another lick
Yummy are the ashes
And broken auras

Lesser are my views
Hearts in a crucifixion
What can you do
Wings of frustration
A different sensation from abuse

Pull your back up friend
Here, I’ll give you a hand
Let’s go higher
I was godsend

Age of rejection
An angel weary and beaten
She collects her feathers
For a potion or a trophy

It doesn’t matter, I’m not well
Down here in hell
I’m saying sorry to the dead
While she collects feathers for her bed
The same bed he will tread

And I hate Earth
Or just my worth…

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

Posted on by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Just a shoutout to my tribe

Hey guys (it’s Southern slang so it means all), I know I have been a bit anti-social, withdrawn, pissy, childish, and certainly many other adjectives, I am a bit transparent no doubt (and I have been dealing with a chemical imbalance known as depression) but I wanted to thank you for still coming to my blog even though I haven’t been going to yours as much lately. I swear I want to read your stuff and make it up to you, there are many things that I want to do that depression is keeping me from. It literally keeps me from life. Most of the time I go without television or playing video games or listening to music or playing my guitar or reading or any of the other pastimes that normally would bring me enjoyment. It’s full on isolation and anxiety. Thanks for not giving up on me (yet). I am still fighting the good fight. I sometimes leave bad crumbs. I’m sorries. Forgives me? xx

Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Truth Comes Hard

Truth came hard like thunder, the sky opened her eyes, flush with rage, she whipped across the night, striking melodies of discord, a witness to betrayal, an immediate downpour of reason, she licks blood from the spear of doubt, her shout echoes into the distant memory of what was, what ever could be, lies dance in ballerina shoes into neverland, but truth comes hard like thunder. I open my gates to her fury, for she is my sister and cry together we did.

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

Early morning thoughts of truth in my pjs… plus an early morning snap while still sleepy-eyed cuz I wake up like this… messy & honest (it’s a lonely place to be amongst a world of lies).
Posted on by poeeternal · 2 Comments

Poetic Ramblings For The One

Shall I pass the wound to forgiveness
Shall I trust the universal oracle
What of the nest in my soul where your love is my law
Where I suffer for you and I fall
Have you ever loved me at all?
Should I exit the stage of treason
Where she robs me of desire
Where I see the smoke still rising
From the breast of her fire

Are you a mirage of love in a desert of loneliness?
Where I thirst forevermore
I still march along the madness
Of the trail of a whore
Echoes of happiness flash like lightning
Blinding yet spellbinding
And I dream of your shore
Where I wait in an ethereal forever
And I’m always hoping for more

My heart cradles the words for me that you write
It feels like a bandage covering the night
It feels like your hug holding me tight
A breath on my soul saying all is alright
Your lips on my spirit giving me might

In a fever I rush to you like a drug
But in truth you needn’t say a word
I’d love you in silence with only a hug
Your eyes to me they are the world

My road for you is only honey
I wish I were younger and that is my worry
But like an aging forest I offer you mercy
Shelter and warmth and tongues which are loving
I nurture this thirst because I know you are worthy
Even though your doubts keep both eyes blurry

No spells are needed to find my love
Reach out to fate cuz it fits like a glove
And punishments can be reserved for just fun šŸ™‚
Trust me darling, I am the one
I’m not a deck of cards or just another turn

No fancy tricks needed not even a curse
The longer you wait the more that it hurts
I love you for better or for worse
My love is an ocean you better immerse

I’m available as a friend anytime that you want
The balls in your court, please use it not to haunt

xoxo

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

My birthday is in 3 days!! (August 19th). I am a Leo, a fire sign!! My truelove shall also be a FIRE SIGN! I’d bet my life on it! šŸ™‚

If he is out there or listening (are you out there or listening?) you should say hello. Start with the basics you know. šŸ™‚
Be fearless with me. Freedom. Everything will be okay. But you gotta say hello. “Say something, anything and watch the weather change…”
Messy hair, chilling on the couch me… waiting on my birthday so I can get fat on cupcakes!! šŸ™‚
Posted on by poeeternal

Armor

I know not what drives him
How deep his senses swim
Which fear can make him cower
What eats away his hour
From which tear his pain will flower
Who tells him that he matters
How tall I’ll need a ladder
What brings him to his laughter
Who helps him when he’s sadder
Why his eyes pierce deeper than a dagger
How his words can make me stagger
Or why he wears such heavy armor

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019

Posted on by poeeternal · 5 Comments

Things of Note by PoeEternal

Bits of pieces here & there. Thoughts. Ideas. Microwords.

I feel like watching you smile is one of the most beautiful things I can witness in life.

If you can’t have it, dream about it. Fantasize. Talk to yourself. Loneliness is a state, not a being. Be one with it.

Love. Even when you can’t.

Forgiveness isn’t hard. Ego is.

You’re one second away from being older. Cherish the new.

The walls we build around us to keep the sadness out also keeps out the joy.

I swear on my soul every time you smile a new galaxy is born. I can feel the after shocks in my heart. Even the Sun has sworn. Look how it shines on you.

You wear revenge on your heart.

Black soul, Black hole
Not much of a difference I know
Like a mold it will grow

It’s not too late to finish what you started.

Feasting on single lane, leaving darkness for tomorrow
Getting wasted on joy instead, I’m sick of all this sorrow
Skipping down single lane, I’ve nothing you can borrow

LOVE IS THE GREATEST CROWN, There’s no trouble here this part of town

He’s my favorite season of them all.

Everyone keeps asking me what it is I do. Well, I’m in the pursuit for happiness. Aren’t you?

Oh my tummy tum tum
Is growling like it wants some rum
I guess I better give it some….

You give what you take and you take what you give
I’m so tired of this mourning and I just want to live

Taking a break from my woes.

Did you know you could break me like glass?

Empty as a bottle.

Sometimes I need someone to disconnect with.

So evading these lines
I’ve tried to forget a thousand times
Feeling better about end days
And even less about rhyme

His voice puts movement in my heart.

But this one cut me deep like steel
I don’t know if I can ever heal

It hurts
These years they tend to cut
More challenges than it’s worth

It’s like a gunshot to the soul
CRUSH

Boys & misfortune are of most importance

Make me immortal so I can sleep forever.

My moral compass may be broken.

More cancelled invitations
I get the most in the nation

Shots of rum in my freezer
Make me less of an appeaser

I’m working on borrowed time.

I’m ready, not able
I’m under the weather and need to get stable

On and on silence is your war

He uses love like a seed
To pit in you jealousy & greed

To fight so hard for freedom
Years for liberty
Can anyone see me?

Lu once told me, all I had to do was prey.

Said you never loved
and you love me now
But you’re saying that
As you’re saying ciao

I left him lying
The trouble with love it’s trying
But don’t stick it out with a man who keeps you crying
His mouth is rot he’ll only keep denying
That’s his plan to slowly watch you dying
I never met a beast more terrifying

But why do good girls always come last?

My heart is a poet. Every beat is a syllable. Poetry its soul. I am but a poem waiting to be rhymed. Slow goes it.

You’ll soon be guest of honor at the crematorium.

Pain may appear closer in mirror.

Actually, Iā€™m not angry. Iā€™m fueled with intelligence and wit. I will smack thee with a mirror and say BEHOLD, SCUM. CLEAN THYSELF! šŸ˜‰

Ā© Delia Ross. 2019