He moves through me like rain pattering
Thunder rumbling
Dim lights reflecting from wet pavement
A calm serenity in the early A.M.
The soft sound of a match flicking
An in your face, after hours, door down kicking

He gets me thinking
Every atom increasing
Over wide expanse
To find me dreaming

Sometimes silently screaming
Can he even hear me?
Why am I always seething?
The endless bleeding
Month after month
He’s all I’m needing

Come back to me
The garden is empty now
There’s nothing to sow

Twisted twigs removed of thorn
Every step is filled with scorn

Blood and rust becomes the norm
Evil’s made and evil’s born

The sun will rise tomorrow true
But she won’t give a fuck about you

I’m not where I’m meant to be
I’m forgetful how
You said you’d never desert me in vow

When you’ve been given the hand as a pawn
So you shake the tree to see how hard a king could fall
Because death follows you all around
And fits your head like it’s a crown

Tell them I died of inexperience
Disappeared into dust and this
I am delirious
Feasting on nefarious
Arrest bliss
So restless

Half dead
Half alive
Feet dragging in circles
But got throttle to survive

I’m scared
And I have no one to tell
My orders they aren’t in order
And the place looks like hell

I keep organizing disorder
In clusters of equal color
And piling to the ceiling
The clippings of my horror

But then, falling to a clutter
Every single note he said
I found it in the gutter
Where all my tears flood instead
(And fears instead of wonder)

I play slip and slide in the mud
A word I rarely utter
With thunder lightning mixed with blood
With prayers less to suffer

Wrapped in heated wool and fear

Coyotes yipping at me to stay alive
Or to die
I can’t tell a difference half the time

The fog is thicker
But my heart is wearing thinner
And I’m sick of winter
Freezing in the sun
My hope’s a killer
Stealing every grain of fun
And he made fear a winner

The heart isn’t waterproof
And my anger
Is lit up like a sunroof
I’m in danger
So I’m acting like a goof
I will hold your wager
And toss it off the roof
While you call a stranger
Thinking they can protect you


If you cringe at everything you do or say
Maybe it’s because you are corrupt in a way?

I need a break from routine
From sunup to sundown
The constant dying
The endless trying
One moment to another
More yearning and crying

Tidal distortion
Everywhere he’s been
Pulled from proportion
He’s good at sneaking in
Speaks in third person
Night is on his chin

I got blood on my favorite shirt
Tell my heart it’s not the reason we’re hurt
I cover wound with a bit of dirt
I can’t recall when I wasn’t this burnt

Why did you leave? I ripped my heart open for you.

We need a heat source
Heat is life
Get me to the light
(Warmth is nice)

He went like a wave
And I caught in undertow

Give me a box
To store my bones
Let me have peace
They’ll find a home

Everybody unhinged
Don’t give a shit
On anger we’ve binged
So full of it
I’m bright, I’m lit

I’m always last at the end of a road
The last in line
Last picked
My house is cold

Two days go by
It feels a year
My hope runs dry
But not these tears

Did I not wait with contempt
As the hourglass filled with time
Every grain of sand with you on my mind
Was I ever worth an attempt?


How can a moon erupt?
How long ‘til I give up?
Will volcanic ash spew in the wake of my dust?
How can a moon corrupt?

He makes me desperate
Feeling as if I am his least favorite
But then he comes from comets swinging giving me the greatest gifts
His words and his virtual kiss
Then I forget
I’m not his favorite

I called to him under darkened sky
He arrived in a meteor shower
With desire on display

Why won’t you grant me my last wish even dying?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

Thank you for your support! I ordered something off of my DollsKill wishlist! 😍


I fucking hate giving away surprises but I’m terrible with secrets! 🤪

Some secrets. 🤪

I may be dying but I wanna look hella good doing so.

Selected the overnight shipping.

I feel like shit and it hurts to breathe.

But, I bought something from a favorite store and I hope it fits.

The makeover continues through the dying.

On with the show…

(But someone please explain to me why I’m not allowed to smoke a menthol cigarette anymore)

*Tries to remember the type of cigarette Brandon Lee was smoking on his deathbed during his final scene in The Crow*

*lights menthol*

*takes puff*

I read the FDA is banning these things – and of course they would ban them during the apocalypse – anything to make life more hell.

(I rarely ever smoke anymore but when I do it’s the menthol. I had some tiny puffs. Like 4). Just felt like being rebellious. I’m dying. 🤢

“If I got rid of my demons, I’d miss my angel”

The Illuminati took you too didn’t they 😫

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