I take a clue then cut it into pieces
I make a square just to see how it will fit
I am a pupil and adapt to what he teaches
But there’s no lessons for me ever to submit

I watch to see how space and time increases
And if there’s information that I should omit
I’ll spin in circles until my breathing wheezes
I guess we’ll find that I’m just illiterate

😫

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

This was not the direction I was wanting the poem to go at all but the truth is living with a brain injury gets very confusing and I can take conversation to the left field in no time and I often feel aloof and lost because sometimes I’ll just completely forget what we were even talking about while we are talking… 👀

I think I’m dumb

Like that Nirvana song 👀

Completely put together vs completely torn apart in a matter of seconds

Imagine standing in front of a classroom and being the instructor but then having to ask the class what we were talking about 👀

Now put it in a smaller setting and add anxiety and people 👀

Or, talking to your crush and acting a proper idiot, I’ve done them all 👀

No officer, not high, just stupid 👀

It’s embarrassing being so dumb 👀

And the doctors don’t seem to understand that being a writer who can’t spell is a problem for me 👀

And it’s not that I can’t spell, it’s that I can’t even form words or remember names, it’s all these things 👀

I tell them I’m losing my mind but you know, I don’t think people can hear me at all 👀

Most people make me cry when I act stupid but not him 👀

The way he deals with my stupidness and my insecurities makes me want to do the naughties instead of cry 👀

I like him a lot 👀

Just waiting for him to dump me in the trash the way everybody else does when they’re disappointed with me or annoyed by my inexperience 👀

But sometimes I’m running away because I think he deserves something better than already dying and half dead 👀

Unless you’re into necrophilia, it’s kind of the closest and most legal thing 👀

I have a walking cane and I wear pigtails 👀

Where’s the AA meeting for, “hi, my name is Delia and I identify as young”?

Jim Morrison identified as a lizard, I identify as a kid. 👀

I’m not allowed to act like a kid but I could split my tongue, tattoo my entire body into lizard skin, tattoo my eyeballs, and hiss at people 👀

I’m definitely in the wrong timeline, the doctors don’t understand my level of paranoia 👀

I have guys trying to kidnap me in broad daylight just for being petite and cute 👀

I guess I’ve been asking for it since the day I was born 👀

Can’t even be myself 👀

Okay, it’s 3 am and my favorite time and need the moonshine

Not the alcohol, the Moon!!!!!!

I don’t fucking drink

I’m part of the 1% of the population that is not an alcoholic 👀

Oh hiiii

You’re an asshole driver on the road 👀

*waves*