Ageism (confession)

For the love of God, stop asking my age!

Am I the last remaining human that is still 1000% human (no artificial degrades)?

Because the people who keep going on about my age have either gone bald or are gray.

How old are you?

I’m fucking ancient that’s how old!

And I’m trying to get my shit together so that I could potentially find a partner who is healthy enough to bring a baby into the world or build a home together because I’m still capable of doing both!

Capable lol

I’m on bedrest

My vehicle is broke down

I’m moments away from leaping from a bridge

But there’s no grey….

Let my non-existent tomb read, “no grey”!

Not everyone lives to be old.

But y’all are prematurely aging yourself.

And everything that you are doing to try to stop the aging process is aging you faster.

It’s just an FYI

And I still love folks bald or grey

But what I don’t like, is the constant phishing for private, personal data.

Well how old are you, where do you live, are you single?

Communicating is exhausting.

And they go straight for phishing right away.

As a Soldier (my credentials do not expire), this is a big red flag.

Only a few more conversations between you and your followers and they have a profile of you.

I love everybody but immigration has been a Trojan horse.

Petite. But armed and dangerous according to the establishment.

Yep.

I’m still detoxing and in and out of hopelessness.

But this cancer has been eating me alive for several years and back over the XMAS holiday I was told I no longer had a year left to live.

And so here I am about 6 months or so into that realization.

My Primary Care doctor (from Asia and whom I cannot change/am stuck with) has said to “ride it out”

Oh I plan to, right into the courthouse where I have the license removed from everyone in the VA misdiagnosing/mistreating me

It’s not a pipe dream

Nor the visions I have of taking them all out, family included, no remorse.

Fuck you.

I’m going to burn it all down, even if it takes me 200 years, but I’m not doing earth again.

Also, I’ve legit been dying, and seemingly misbehaving, so can you cut me some slack.

I have absolutely no idea how to be a human, I just know I’m doing it wrong.

I’ve done everything wrong but I feel like I have a chance (maybe) if I can get my health together, to try again.

A new deck of cards, unopened.

I just need a partner who isn’t the Devil.

My blood sister died age 45. This was in January.

My birthday is in August. I won’t receive a birthday card, I never do.

I don’t exist and stop asking my age.

I don’t identify with my age whatsoever.

And I really want to know if there are any other 43 year old – nearly 44 year old women – who are still ovulating and do not have any gray hair?

I never ate birth control or ripped out my titties. No botox. Just a plain Jane.

I had no idea it was conditioning for human hybrid/AI/META/advertising/consumption.

This isn’t the future I fought for.

I’ve laid down my M16, and I’m looking to buy land and start a commune.

I’m not going to be dying forever, one day I’m actually going to be dead.

You can be buried on your land in Florida.

I have goals.

Buy land. Die.

Or, pop a tent and get pregnant under the moon.

Treehouses and crying over the dying garden.

Babe, the asparagus are dying!!!

Him: it’s time to pick them

Yes I’m obviously the drama, I have a lot of superpowers I don’t know how to contain or operate.

Humanity did not come with a guide.

I don’t even have a handbook for the “recently nearly deceased”.

I think I’m actually stuck in purgatory.

I told my therapist I don’t trust the doctors with my data anymore, I mean can you imagine the amount of paranoia I am mounting…

I’m ready to sell my phone and TV.

And now I’m trapped in a WordPress plan (I do plan to look into the other hosting, I have just been down in a pit and can only do things slowly).

I don’t have anyone to come in and organize my poetry the way Jim Morrison had.

I don’t have a lover. I don’t even have any weed.

I might turn into the Incredible Hulk over the next couple weeks.

Anything goes.

But what I want more before I die is for the people that I do care about or who I have offended to forgive me of my actions so that I can at least offend them again in the future. 🤪


3 thoughts on “Ageism (confession)

Add yours

  1. I’d appreciate that! 🤩

    I identify as 15 so there’s that. And my body & mind never grew up, therefore reality.

    I do got some fine lines forming.

    Little timeline creases from the uni. Kind of poetic.

    Liked by 2 people

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