Slowly deleting every app from my phone The ad personalization has been dezoned Buried in the earth somewhere my bone The only destination left is alone
Feeling increasingly paranoid and withdrawn and it’s only 5:43 AM. How’s your day going?
If you’re walking on egg shells, it’s molten around here 👀
In 2019 some Australians decided to go with a tour company hike up a volcano and the tour guide was like “yeah it’s a level two currently” and these people didn’t know anything about volcanoes but the tour guide was like “it’s currently a level 2, level 3 is exploding” and then the Volcano exploded and the rescue helicopter company right next to the tour guide didn’t come pick up any of the hikers on the volcano that was exploding, it was some random helicopter that decided to play rescue and hero and a lot of people died on that volcano 🌋 in 2019, a lot of people died…
It’s basically the Titanic everywhere, and buildings are falling down 3 1/2 hours from me 👀
The tour company took them hiking on a level 2 volcano and the rescue company didn’t come rescue them when the volcano went off 👀
People got burned
People died
The rescue company left them on an erupting volcano
And the mayors and the governors who pretend they give a fuck about us, they’re just playing an acting role
The White Island Volcano eruption – that’s you (the volcano) and me consistently climbing up while you’re erupting
A level 3 volcano and me hop scotching along with the tour guide
👀
But if a tour guide took me on a level two volcano that turned into a level three, he’d probably get kicked into the fucking volcano 👀
I ain’t out there doing tours during an apocalypse tho
I’m not suicidal enough to go hiking up an active volcano tho
But I am homicidal enough to get into fights with the gas station clerk
What’s weird is when you’re actually trying to be reachable but you’re not.
And also, when you feel your life could be shut at any moment and there’d be nothing left to say.
So you actually have lots of things that you need to say but you’re not getting through
And part of the reason could be your own fault because you block people
Or, the fact that everything we’re saying is being tracked right now and stored on a private server – and they control what we’re going to do through advertising – they also control the flow of information – that we’re basically slaves to them and consumerism but most people don’t care because they are narcissist and they don’t believe in anything therefore I guess they get off on being a monster!?!?
Do you remember what communicating was like back in the 90s? I mean, when you had to page people or ride your bike to a payphone?
There would be mass panic if communication systems were destroyed but do y’all know that stuff is happening out there – pipe lines and hacks and oh my fucking God I’m getting ready to take my communication back to that sort of level anyway because I’m reaching new levels of paranoia with the shadowbans and toxicity of social media in general and blocking hayfever
Blocking hayfever is that like a thing that I just coined or if I Google it does it already exist because I hate coming up with ideas that have already been thought of already, it’s been a huge disappointment throughout my entire life. I can remember coming up with ideas when I was like 10 and someone already had come up with that idea and Google didn’t even exist
I would say people today have it easier but they’re being controlled and in 200 years will cursing even exist?
Because I don’t want to live in a future where freedom of speech is under threat but yet freedom of speech is under threat as I speak
The New World order are closing in and they have us surrounded.
Oh fuck man
I’ve always been afraid of heights but I think I’m equally afraid of pits. Still, go further in.
Dig
Go under
If you want to know what’s inside a black hole, just die, because it’s the same thing.
Light enters our eye and never leaves. When you die, the color in your eye also goes. No more information can get through.
But they do say the brain has activity for several minutes after you die and we don’t really know how long that really is and we don’t really know much about consciousness do we? But we do know energy can’t be destroyed so your energy goes somewhere.
I’m circling way too close to the event horizon of my own death.
They say there’s seven levels of consciousness (this thang) 👇
I mean, I’m pretty certain I’ve met them all
Miracle to still be alive 🤔
But currently in lots of pain – was trying to clean up – Nearly put my heart into something I couldn’t get it out of and I’m not dying at the ER I won’t be calling 911
Would rather die by the ocean or outside or the forest – or home
No hospitals
No embalming
No organ donation
No funeral
No cremation
Just a box please. The cheapest one y’all can scurry. It doesn’t need a case.
I can be buried on my own land so I’m trying to stay alive for that OK and it’s cheaper to buy land and quicker to get a piece of land than it is to try to get onto the housing market and whatever
I’d rather just live in my jeep you know – nomad
I’ll just buy a camper and travel around Florida live at different campgrounds move around
I am fucking done with being a renter
😑
Or I’ll join the homeless crew in California you know they have an entire section called Skid Row
I wouldn’t last five minutes on the streets but whatever
Being a girl basically has been men trying to fuck me since I was born
And have been..
We’re nothing more than fucking sex objects
And I don’t really give a fuck about stuff
I mean I do because I’m a baby hoarder but
My ride is the thing I appreciate the most
I guess second up would be my intellectual property
What, what. No reverse that lol
But is intellectual property comparative to like a fucking vehicle? 🧐
I mean a jaguar probably does have more value than my life 😑
I mean the CDC already valued what our worth was when they decided for us that whoever got hurt with heart inflammation was worth the risk because they certainly didn’t let 60% of the population know that beforehand and many have died or been wounded like me and like my life is teetering on the line as we fucking speak and I may not recover but I wasn’t given all the facts about these vaccines and the CDC withheld information to us and they said they knew it was going to cause a certain amount of heart inflammation but that they thought it would happen in a lower number than what it did so they made the decision for us what our lives where worth
We all have the same value to them
How many billionaires and millionaires have been vaccinated? 🤔
Whatever
I need foodz
GTG
But also my TikTok’s are starting to get some views so I can breathe again
I mean yesterday I had one up for like three hours and it didn’t get one view so that bitch got destroyed
I also got in trouble for sharing the TikTok on my Instagram wall – it didn’t like me using Nirvana but that track was pulled from TikTok like all the other songs I use IN the app.
But I’m scared to share another one on my Instagram wall
😑
Whatever
You still blocked and everything’s my fault
😑
I don’t know how I’ve known tragic events to happen before they do but I do…
Predictions
A prophet
There are a lot of people out there that know because they were there and I said things and then they happened
Being who I truly am around others has never been easy for me and conforming in school or being forced to be a certain way is not something that’s be an easy path for me
Dying is fucking hard, I’ve been trying to get my affairs in order 👀
I always knew I was gonna die from heart troubles 👀
Told my kid that it’s not actually junk, it’s just all out and about 👀
My intellectual property is chaos 👀
That bill may be poetry scribbled 👀
I do it on toilet paper too 👀
Paper napkins 👀
Nothing is junk 👀
Although I could do with less clothes 👀
But I don’t actually know how to part with anything 👀
My kid said it’s because we’re poor and will never get it again 👀
Psychological and I do place attachments on things 👀
It’s not a t-shirt with a hole, it’s a memory 👀
And instead of fixing our hoarding issues, I told them that while it may feel overwhelming, they’d want the stuff. Put it in storage when I die until you can go through it. 👀
Don’t let anybody in the fam take advantage of your mental state after I die and take the stuff 👀
So I’ve contributed to their hoarding problem as well 👀
Albeit, I’m not actually hoarding trash but I haven’t been left alone with my own property, I’d probably have a tunnel dug to hell 👀
Trespassers shot on sight 👀
I am the dog 👀
Might catch me howling under the Moon 👀
Stood up too fast tonight and started slipping into death 👀
I don’t know what lessons I’m supposed to be learning. If the lesson is love by not getting any love, then I accept my fate and am ready to die on the street.
If I’m still here because someone else hasn’t learned the lesson, can we hurry up?
I know things before they happen but yet still manage to make the wrong choices?
Because they were already decided before I took this form 👀
I’m here to teach you a lesson but who hath eyes to see?
Don’t fucking embalm me when I die, don’t fucking cremate me, don’t fucking embalm me
I don’t think the bugs will eat my hair
I want my bones to take 10,000 years to decay
Don’t let them embalm me!
I don’t want to be preserved!
I want to recycle into the Earth.
It’s pretty fucking simple and Florida allows you to be buried on your own land
I can have my own little family cemetery, it’ll be a cemetery of fucking one just like my life but whatever all I need to do is buy my plot of land
I don’t even need to have cemetery space
I’m gonna have my own goddamn land bitches were my body can be buried because Florida allows you to bury yourself on your land
I can crawl into my own fucking ditch and die
Plant an apple tree by the cemetery
It’s cheaper to buy land for me to live on than cemetery space to be buried
I struggled with posting this TikTok even though I worked hard on it because it wasn’t perfect but I need to get use to making mistakes in front of people or I’m never gonna be able to read my poetry live and I have a brain injury and anxiety and all kinds of other fucking things that I’m pushing through 😑
Yelling at everybody on TikTok who keeps talking about the baby boomers, the millennials, and generation Z and completely ignoring the fact that generation X exist – just like my goddamn childhood – I have no fucking identity 😑
Statistically speaking, I guarantee you there have been more people who have dropped dead by suicide by generation X than of all the generations that have gone before or after
I’d like to see that chart
Suicides per generation
I bet my goddamn life on it that Generation X will have the most deaths via suicide
And I’m not just yelling at them but blocking them
Jesus was pretty angry at the establishment before he died though too
Wanted to do some stuff today – but feeling blockage in the heart – like a blood clot is trying to pass – or it could just be the fact that one of my chambers is enlarged 👀
I’m glad my spoken word made top 3 but the nasty “wtf” comments don’t help my stage fright 😑
I’m an introvert with severe stage fright.
I want to make more TikTok’s tho and I appreciate your views to my channel!
I’ve been writing a lot of poetry but I want to make more spoken word videos AND go live on TikTok for the very first time to read my poetry – since I’ve had a request on TikTok to do that, just this week!
Pushing through fears and listening to my audience!! 💪
(You can completely turn off commenting and other features if you don’t wanna deal with comments)
I’m going live on Twitch again soon too!! I’m going to be live-streaming more of the new Resident Evil chapter that came out on Dead By Daylight!
Fun stuff planned!
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Just like any other industry, we rely on memberships, subscriptions, and tips to get by!
Thanks for supporting independent content creators! 💪
You made a mockery of my house these bruises vivid Fleeing reason Like lying to the wind Consequences rigid Or maybe gods to blame my wings unfitted Now trapped beneath the cross I’m scorched and livid Did you ever stop to think Your words imprinted Whether I was meant to see Your light emitted Is forgiveness in the tree You were acquitted
Thank you for supporting my new free OnlyFans! I’ll be posting more content soon! Especially because I can no longer post a photo on my blog without paying the steepest price for it!
Got 4 new fans just today!!!!! 🍑🥰🍑
I’ll be livestreaming again this week on Twitch, possibly even this evening!
He leaves me clues confessing They could be lies to keep me guessing There’s trouble around always pressing He’s pouring poison on the gauze I’m here dressing
Are we like string theory, connected to everything? Cuz we’re not attached. Yet we are one? 🤔
But I don’t even know you. You don’t even know me. I can’t live without you. But you can. Or, am I the reason you come up for air? Can’t breathe in hell? 😑
Why am I fascinated in the shape that light can make? Is it equilibrium or a reflection of mistake? Is it heading towards chances I can never take? Is this really freedom or a cage I have to break?
Lately he’s been sweeping out the cobwebs The devil’s interested in the details He’s focused on the way my story unveils He claims I am the reason that the earth swells
I mean, the world is falling apart, but I still love you.
It’s ridic. Right? 🤔
God created this obsession FYI
And I actually know what a black hole feels like
I actually know what Sagittarius A* feels like
It’s possible that sometimes I am Sagittarius A*
When other girls are talking to you
👀
But like I love this dude and the love has manifested to be real because he bought me pizza 👀
😑
Uhm, so I haven’t lost all my ass or leg progress yet but I feel nowhere near like I’m ready to start fitness again and it’s really scary to be having these kind of heart problems at my age over a fucking vaccination.
If you’re still supporting me even though I am dying and venting on the daily, thank you.
I get called lazy for serving my country and I get called lazy for having an OnlyFans.
Jesus Christ left Mary Magdalene in charge of the gospel and they wiped her from the books and labeled her a whore.
Just like me!!!
They create poor conditions for you to live in and then condemn you for trying to survive.
They fucking condemn you if you try to die by suicide as well.
“No no no you’re not allowed to die like that, it’s a sin”!
Apparently it’s a sin if you lust after somebody else even though that is actually biology
And “a sin” if you try to die because you don’t want to live in this bullshit life
The only thing that is not a sin is giving them money
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of your money
Was just having a bath thinking how water must be similar to a black hole and vice versa – The Fibonacci sequence – galaxies – how storm clouds on Earth are the same as a gas giant like Jupiter- it’s the same patterns and makeup. Snails. Biology. Poem. 🤓
It’s hard for me to even understand the concept of a black hole but I’m trying to with water.
It drains
👀
So do galaxies.
Where does all that gas stuff go?
The multiverse?
Because I’m believing more and more in a multi-verse than a big bang.
I’ve only just now understood that Jupiter is two times farther away from us than the sun, which is why it looks so tiny.
I thought Jupiter was just smaller but I knew it was far away I just didn’t realize it was that far away
👀
So what they gonna do when they reach another galaxy?
Give them a bible and start the same routine? Burning people at the stake for not believing?
Fear, it’s molecular now innit.
😑
They called Mary Magdalene a whore too and tried to erase her from the books, sound familiar?
I am in the eye of a storm brewing My eyes on the horizon of my choosing Is it an enemy or a friend I am losing Torn pages from books I am removing Broken bottles every avenue I’m now strewing
I wrote the fucking thing but someone else is just going to steal it and then all of their followers are going to leave them the most amazing comments like they’re the best writer ever in the world and they’re gonna all buy each other’s books and support each other 👀
It’s basically the blues and if my daddy would have wanted to love me instead of fuck me I’d probably be playing the harp right now like David Gilmour’s daughter is doing
Not all daddy’s are bad
The grass IS greener
Apparently
👀
But God is also in a band called Pink Floyd
👀
And he sold all his guitars and it’s basically the end of the world