I cross lines not made for me
He sails across my stormy sea
I break rules when he is not around
He has the strength to carry my frown
Where I see apocalypse
In his view is an eclipse
Though my cross is more than I can carry
He offers a hand so it is less heavy
My troubles are handled by the soul of a clown
Despite my flaws he continues to carry my crown
Distance befalls the soul as a crucifix
Navigating ghostly tides to find each other’s lips
© Delia Ross. 2019
Like the weight of gravity holding me down
Feeling the pressures of existence
Wanting to fly free, there’s no sky over me
Sending messages into subspace
Receiving smiles as a frown
Crawling over grace
Close my eyes, see his face
Hear his voice, lessen the distance
Secrets made to ease the resistance
His eyes were made to love in an instance
His hands were paved to offer assistance
He wears patience as a crown
A vector of hospitality
He washed over me completely
His words nests in my heart so sweetly
His voice fills me deeply
I want to wear his touch as my gown
Mostly, I want to see him around
He makes my spirit renown
© Delia Ross. 2019
Forget the riches, life is vicious, get out the ditches, pick up the pieces, keep on reaching, march on speaking, build new bridges, drop suspicion, clear your vision, trust the mission, life enriches, keep repeating!
© Delia Ross. 2019
Too honest, too open, too spoken
Too loud, too proud, too broken
Too much, too soon, too potent
Deep inside one heart permanently frozen
Overlooked, overheard, never chosen
Shutting down, her door is closing
Laid to rest the energy of hoping
And though gone she’s still provoking
Heaven hears her storm approaching
© Delia Ross. 2019
Feed you little hope until he sticks the spear into reason
And any ‘we’ that could have been marched away with every season
Any love was filed away, stamped and marked by treason
Faltered steps and bleeding eyes kept us from ever sleeping
Secrets and lies forever keeping our tongues from ever speaking
Every corner turned I am facing another demon
This must be hell though the sign said Eden
And I just stumbled onto another demon feeding
And though falling down he knows I deserve the beating
Walls of denial and regret seems to be his region
Lessons go unlearned in a cycle of repeating
Clasped hands and bent knees will cost you your freedom
Prayers in hell only causes more bleeding
Lingering thoughts of doubt causes us more needing
Love turns to hate in this garden of evil
I am an angel of truth with a broken beacon
Trekking this journey so long I forgot I was leading
Washing my hands of blood and all of this dreaming
Erasing any trail of love now that I am leaving
Scattered about in memories you’ll find my broken pieces
For me, words have finally lost all of their meaning
The only remaining step is to mark this blog for deletion
A vow of silence henceforth to keep me from this prison
© Delia Ross. 2019
BOOM…
Her noise crashed into existence
An adulterer of daylight
In the eyes of the night a mistress
Still the Sun would chase her with all of his might
Penetrating years to lessen the distance
Every sky diamond flickers white candle light
But ask him of commitment and he’s a terrible witness
He will disappear before the Moon is in sight
His energy expelled before the ink dries from words written
Feeding from his lies as a tiny parasite
Chewing on his poison never seeking his permission
Ignoring red flags as your soul fills with blight
Asking for truth only delivers misinformation
Dancing for love on the back of the night
Keep chasing light despite its resistance
© Delia Ross. 2019
Our words like feathers carry no weight
To his ears an uninvited guest who overstayed
Still we’re spoonfed lies to minimize the ache
Just an innocent bystander who took the bait
He will circle you inside a barricade
He will taste the wound to see if you’re afraid
He will take the route you feel most betrayed
His words were never there to offer aid
If you need more pain he will accommodate
If you want his love he won’t participate
There are many already at his gate
His hands will lead you straight to his grave
I would gladly place my life at his blade
And gently kiss his hands as they preyed
And from my mouth not one complaint
And though dying my eyes finally awake
© Delia Ross. 2019
Why can’t for once someone accept my love
Try it on like a pair of pants or gloves
Wear it a bit longer like a stylish cut
Or so many times as you would a favorite
Until it is covered in stains and cigarette burns
And smells of a favorite expensive perfume
It smells of dizzy lovers
Cheap whiskey
Heavy regrets
Well, hopefully not any of those yet
Tattered and torn but the pockets still work
It’s vintage (like the best stuff)
All the hours connected to skin
It wrapped you during any weather
It would do it again
You ponder trashing it in the bin
A gift to charity is less of a burden
Never contemplating sewing it at the hem
Fixing parts where it may be broken
© Delia Ross. 2019
You should have kept it a buried treasure
You should have taken another adventure
His love will make you poorer not richer
The taste of his bite is only bitter
A bad seed from his rotten apple
The taste of his lips makes one babel
Leaving you with lessons you’ll never grapple
Poison your tongue so you can never tattle
Holy water will run from the unclean
Circle and burrow paths for a new stream
A king can grow apples from a bad seed
A queen never takes a road to mislead
© Delia Ross. 2019
Buried Sun, why do you run
Where do you hide
Your colors paint my town
When you come around
My pulse beats fast but my temper slows
My frown rises as my temperature grows
Love a rainbow clouding the view
It stretches beyond the ends horizon too
Buried Sun, you are no fun
When you travel to the dark side
© Delia Ross. 2019
Orbits caught in gravity
They form and make a galaxy
Hands that grasp the sands of time
Bonds that form and never die
Love which riddles lie with truth
Tongues which move like deja vu
Open doors and open arms
Ride the bull with a crown of thorns
Forgiveness flowing and still current
Forever his devoted servant
Names are roads rarely spoken
Trust are chains never broken
© Delia Ross. 2019
Hard to face an enemy with arrows
Eyes to ground, move back but still he follows
Try to make a list of the cons and pros
Every step sinking deeper into holes
Crying only reaches more lost souls
The devil whispers “this is the life you chose”
Picking every thorn off of your rose
But darling I warned you not to get close
This side of town contains mostly lows
This is where hope comes to decompose
He’s laughing now like it’s one of his jokes
Breaking me is always one of his goals
My sins always haunting my shadows
It’s so heavy these stones I carry alone on these roads
© Delia Ross. 2019
I can feel you longing
I long for you too
Everyday a new dawning
Distance can’t keep me from you
Every night another taunting
My love never withdrew
A feeling of belonging
I hope I’m one of the few
I don’t need to hear that you love me
I really hope that you do
© Delia Ross. 2019
It is not a cage to watch you age
It is not a light seeking a stage
It is not a debt taking all of your wage
It is not a trap set for making you rage
It is not a war for you to engage
It is not a weight to see if you strain
It is not blood meant for your written page
It is not a finger set forth to only lay blame
It is not a fang sinking deep into your vein
It is not a hand here to inflict you more pain
It is not punishment tied to a chain
It is not a debt that can never be paid
It will still exist even if you never feel the same
It is here as silk for your fears
It remains as satin for all of your tears
It is softly spoken between the ears
It erases all pain from previous years
It will fill your day with silence and cheers
And like any motion there are different gears
But with every step more of the doubt clears
And just like my love it never disappears
© Delia Ross. 2019
You’ll never need anything better
Let me be your forever
I will carry you any weather
My body is your shelter
Your heart is my treasure
My love will always be your ember
Wrapped around you like a sweater
I’m here for you whenever
You’ll never find another love greater
© Delia Ross. 2019
Meet me out of the blue
I just want an hour with you
And then another two
And then another few
Let the hours accrue
Kiss me when they do
Let me love you through
It is overdue
So let’s rendezvous
I want you as my only view
© Delia Ross. 2019
I got to where I never cry
I can feel the hours passing by
I keep the blinds closed from any sunshine
It doesn’t cost me a dime
To waste all my time
It feels like the wrong design
I still tell them all that I’m fine
Suffocate on all the energy
Surrounded by negativity
Completely numb without sensory
Nothings ever bothering me
Nothing to ever do, no one to see
Married to my invisibility
My soul a wasteland filled with debris
© Delia Ross. 2019
Written words intended to sting
Written traps that would wound a king
Tied it tight to the back of my wing
Stuck around to feel him tugging
Held so tight he could feel me cutting
Cried so loud he could here me coming
Insert the spear while his heart is still pumping
Make sure he knows that I am not bluffing
Leave him broken so he can’t feel nothing
At least then I know he can feel something
And get a taste of the pain he is causing
Let him know how bad I am hurting
Teach him a lesson about deserting
Tie his feet so he can’t keep on running
Oh my love what are we becoming
This isn’t the love that I had summoned
© Delia Ross. 2019
Give me the knowledge to talk to you
Give me an hour to hear me through
Give me your eyes so I can see the view
Give me love where the spaces grew
Give me time to fill up her shoe
Pick me up when I fall as I do
Then one day you may love me too
The same way that I love you
© Delia Ross. 2019
Confession
I fell, I stumbled hard
I completely fucked up his yard
And then I posted guard
Giggling and prancing about
Mostly being quiet but then I’d randomly shout
Can’t you see my sorrow or that I’m filled with doubt
And then I thought I heard some spoken word
It may have been a dream it may have been a bird
No no no I know what I heard
And further more I’d lose the road
As more and more his words had flowed
And less and less my step had slowed
Different voices with many tones
With different sorrows and different bones
And various speeds and different zones
My soul entranced, my heart felt home
And under his tree my mind did roam
Perhaps to places that weren’t my own
And maybe seeing things I shouldn’t have
Because even though I see I never did ask
But under his sun I remain and bask
And would you know one day I saw his eyes
I saw his lips I heard his lies
And I cared not about his disguise
I saw through it all I was paralyzed
And I remained though cut down a size
I make mistakes and get chastised
And fear expulsion from his garden
His lips have left me hopeful yet starvin’
And into his tree I keep carving
A spell for him and a spell for me
And into the hours I continue to dream
I just hope his eyes can see what I see
And I do only wish him the very best things
And to give him the space to spread his wings
There’s a river of love from where he sings
I can be the stone from which he springs
I wish he knew how much happiness he brings
© Delia Ross. 2019
His love is warm
Beware his chemical burn
He’ll make you yearn
It’s where fields of love are born
Beware his thorn
He’ll leave you alone to mourn
You’ll come to learn
How to love his horn
© Delia Ross. 2019
She and her but never me
But you and her aren’t destiny
The other one will never see
You and her just won’t agree
But you and I were meant to be
I love you unapologetically
We need to get in harmony
My heart is waiting patiently
But I won’t wait here infinitely
© Delia Ross. 2019
It hurts more than my feelings
It hurts more than my pride
It hurts more than my ego
It hurts more than your lies
It cost more than your freedom
It cost more than my cries
It cost more than your window
It cost more of my time
I live in limbo
While you agonize
I see a hero
You’d never recognize
This is an intro
To a better life
The cost is zero
If you drop the guise
© Delia Ross. 2019
Caught a glimpse
Of his horizon
Headed toward
To enlighten
Instead
I only frighten
I’m not the one
He has the light on
I’ve landed on
An unwanted island
I’m simply tired
Of trying
Sitting around
Only crying
Nobody cares
That I’m dying
© Delia Ross. 2019
Keep on crawling to the edge
of his love
Keep on falling off the ledge
from his shove
Keep on calling
though he’s not home
Keep on bawling
on my own
He keeps stalling
from this love
I keep befalling from his words
Keep on rolling down
where he roams
Always on the edge of his ledge
Always on the ledge of giving up
Always on the edge of his grudge
Always on the ledge of his love
Always on the edge of his touch
Always on the ledge of loving him too much
Always on the edge of forgiving this one
© Delia Ross. 2019
Friendship shouldn’t be a challenge
Honesty will keep you well balanced
I know you like charm
But you fill it with malice
Standing proud
Like you are the tallest
But inside a monster
Simply hardened and calloused
With a river of lies
Flowing down from your chalice
Empty and cold
And a waste of your talent
Gifting others pain
Your proudest gallop
Acting as if everything is always so passive
Knowing fully well
You were playing in my ashes
Treating me like I’m just someone in the masses
Killing my heart simply like an assassin
Acting like me showing you love was a curse
You’ll come to find going without is much worse
Keeping secrets locked behind a screen
Hiding from the one who would have loved you unclean
You can say that your eyes are open and serene
But underneath you are plain cold and just mean
© Delia Ross. 2019
He’s coming down this road again
With offerings of despair
Wrapped in tears like acid rain
With prayers prayed in vain
Dragging love by a chain
His every action inhumane
His only prize is your pain
His only hope for you to disobey
So he can claim you another day
Purgatory is the way
He’ll keep you bound so you can’t stray
Fill you with doubt so you remain
Enclosed in darkness so you can’t escape
Never asleep but fully awake
Your soul weighed down from the ache
Your every step a mistake
It’ll wrap around you like a snake
Swallow you whole while you decay
© Delia Ross. 2019
Don’t let your mistakes go down with the sun
Don’t let your fears keep you on the run
Don’t put your anger into a gun
Don’t let the devil keep you from having fun
Don’t let his absence from you stun
There’s nothing you could have done
You don’t need love from anyone
It’s over for you but his pain has begun
Don’t let your heart go numb
Don’t let these doubts overcome
Pick up the pace and move on
Move on with the sun
Tell God you want a refund
Bury your frown with the sun
Bury your tears in the red sun
You are a mess son
Or maybe you’re just dumb
Here is your sentence
I gift you your distance
It makes no difference
I’m already on the run
© Delia Ross. 2019
It’s not terribly hard to see you’re always chasing after young silver
Spend your days shinning every dime by the muddy river
Try to hide reflections of a liar in its mirror
If the devil bit you in the head it wouldn’t make it that much clearer
But I’m going to cover you in truth until you shine like glitter
I doubt anything I write can make you more bitter
You’ll probably claim you’re a victim and call me a killer
But neither of us are walking out of here a winner
My heart lost its color and settled for winter
I told you to shoot but you failed to pull the trigger
And now my love for you will always just kind of linger
If you ever want a friend you’re invited for dinner
If you ever need a rare element that’s where I can deliver
I hope one day you will warm my heart from this shiver
Until then my soul will just tremble and quiver
(He always wants the young silver – she’ll never want what he can give her)
© Delia Ross. 2019
I will always love you from afar
The same way I love a distant star
And cast wishes under its light
Where I pray for you every night
I will always wonder where you are
What catastrophic event pushed you so far
Your heart a celestial sphere
But you never let anyone near
And on nights when the sky is clear
I cry into the atmosphere
I couldn’t tell you the hour dear
Every moment I wish you were here
You and I live under the same sky
The winds blow west and carry my cry
With raining tears and a heavy sigh
I lie and promise this is not goodbye
© Delia Ross. 2019
I’m still calling can you listen
I’m still learning from this lesson
I’m still crawling despite our distance
I still see you despite my blurry vision
I’m still moving like I have a mission
I still love him despite his own suspicion
I keep leading when I should be in submission
My feet keep moving in any ole condition
My heart keeps ticking despite this damn addiction
My fire keeps burning with or without his ignition
© Delia Ross. 2019
I need your starlight
The dreams the same every night
I fall asleep in your skies
I wake up to your kind eyes
And with a kiss the Sun will rise
And by your breath the wind chimes
And with your touch my eyes will dry
You are my favorite sky
Your lips are the best prize
Your eyes hypnotize
You are my favorite high
Your mind is a sunrise
Your love is a paradise
© Delia Ross. 2019
I promise to listen
Always with intention
To understand
If you can hold me
Instead of scold me
I will be your best friend
I don’t need more lessons
Or other people’s blessings
To love my man
I won’t ask you questions
Or demand from you confessions
If you let me join your clan
Please let your worries lessen
I’ll never keep you guessing
Our love will never need a plan
The moon it now shines crescent
My love is on fluorescent
There’s enough for your entire lifespan
© Delia Ross. 2019
He said you are not the reason
And it nearly stopped me dreaming
Now my soul’s in winter season
And I cannot stop it bleeding
Now my heart is barely beating
And for you it’s always weeping
Now I don’t want to go on breathing
And my life has lost its meaning
© Delia Ross. 2019
I’ve made wrong choices, let the wrong friends in my life
One beat me so badly he nearly took my life
I’ve taken many lovers but I’ve never been a wife
Everyone thinks I’m paranoid cuz I’m married to my knife
I’m not giving up, I’m still holding on though I’m losing height
My steps are slowly faltering and I’ve lost my will to fight
Every time I turn around someone has taken another bite
It’s almost like the demons know my soul is filled with blight
I’ve been down this road searching for you for sometime now
I should finally take a rest and give Lu a proper bow
I only care about you, I too avoid the crowd
I am utterly devoted to you and to this I avow
Now you know these terrible truths do you even want me around
Though we’re both wanderers in hell love is still allowed
I wear my favorite sin and I want to make you proud
But if you ghost me in hell I will never make it out
© Delia Ross. 2019
His absence begs me to go
His disinterest tells me so
His eyes I long to know
Feels like I already though
His existence set me aglow
His silence so loud I woke
His sorrow so heavy he broke
His darkness so thick I choke
Our souls twisted together like oak
I am doing my best to climb up
His words like incantations evoke
For who these pages I devote
Into these rhymes which are wrote
My love for him is the most
© Delia Ross. 2019
All these highs, all these lows
Learn to love him, where he goes
Give him patience, room to grow
Love him as he leaves the show
Love the pain that he bestows
Love him while you watch love decompose
Love him as you would the blackest rose
© Delia Ross. 2019
I know not what drives him
How deep his senses swim
Which fear can make him cower
What eats away his hour
From which tear his pain will flower
Who tells him that he matters
How tall I’ll need a ladder
What brings him to his laughter
Who helps him when he’s sadder
Why his eyes pierce deeper than a dagger
How his words can make me stagger
Or why he wears such heavy armor
© Delia Ross. 2019
His pale skin
Invites me in
His lips of sin
Excite my sense
His mind ablaze
His kiss my slave
I’d do it again
And over again
Keep crawling
Keep calling
Every word I’m fallen
With every breath I’m all in
Even when he’s stalling
Even while I’m bawling
Any kind of dawning
Please don’t fear me darlin’
Need you every morning
Please tell me that you’re coming
Even when it’s storming
For you, I’m always yearning
For you, always returning
My soul for you is stirring
My fire for you is burning
My thoughts of you are turning
This love ever evolving
© Delia Ross. 2019
Give me sin, give me repentance
Whatever your secrets, put them in a pendant
If I falter, hand me my sentence
Will slow crawl to you and ask for forgiveness
Forget the past and live in the present
Live each moment like the world is ending
Let each breath be one that is healing
Kiss me and give me wings for ascending
Promise me you’ll give me arms for defending
I’ll give you as much love you need for your mending
© Delia Ross. 2019
Feeling less alive on a daily basis
My soul desperately searching for an oasis
Going through life cycles with the moon phases
Constantly seeing strangers in all the worst places
Always disappearing without any traces
Having difficulty remembering some of my lovers faces
Moving around the world living on different bases
Placing all my bets without any aces
© Delia Ross. 2019
I’ve lived through many things
I’ve taken dips in cold springs
I’ve visited lands without any kings
I’ve kissed lips without feeling things
I survived a war which broke my wing
I waited for love they could never bring
I clung to sorrow even though it did sting
I only heard silence from a man who did sing
I have done this and I have done that
I’ve worn kevlar when they wore a hat
I’ve lived in a foxhole, I’ve lived in a flat
I have been skinny and I have been fat
I’ve learned to love in world of hate
My timing is off and I’m always late
I’ve felt a man hold me down with his weight
I spit in the eye of the devils worst trait
There’s not many things that keep me satisfied
I have been honest where others have lied
I have never known love, or been someone’s bride
I’ve been so mad I had to laugh when I cried
I’ve never been worshipped or even adored
I’ve watched other games be unevenly scored
I’d like to release all the fears that I hoard
There are some things that I can never afford
All of these things do not matter that much
I’ve never wanted more than to feel his touch
I want to be his stone and never his crutch
You could call it fate, I’ll never name it such
One thing is certain though I love him a bunch
Anytime he speaks or writes my heart takes a punch
© Delia Ross. 2019
Bang bang bang bang
Knocking at your door
Rang rang rang rang
To tell you I want more
Sprang sprang sprang sprang
To bring you peace not war
Sang sang sang sang
Love is our mentor
© Delia Ross. 2019
Why does his love for another hurt me
Why does my heart desert me
It’s such an awful discovery
Why am I so unlovely
To everyone unworthy
© Delia Ross. 2019
😔
If you look inside – your words instead of hers – it is there that I lie – I’ve been hiding there this whole time
I wonder if he writes me words like I do for him
Sometimes I reach out to only find a phantom limb
I’m learning that his desire for me is looking rather slim
There are many girls he likes but I’m not one of them
The spark for life that I once had is dying from within
Still I read his words and take a skinny dip to swim
I run around his sacred words like I am a pilgrim
My soul reacts and knows that he is one in a trillion
He probably doesn’t want it but he left me so smitten
I can feel my orbit gaining speed and spiraling
I still have the hope that he may be listening
And even though he rejected me I hope he is living
He’s so many miles from me it feels like a million
I want to wrap around him like he is warm linen
© Delia Ross. 2019
I tell gentle lies
To myself
To ward away grey skies
My bones often disagree
My cries will drop me to my knee
My brain repeats “he loves me”
And even when I’m resting
My subconscious too believes
And so by every waking the lie repeats
He loves me
He loves me
He loves me
He the sun and I the moon
That’s how much our distance grew
That’s how little we both knew
That’s the reach my love for you
That’s the road to greet you too
I lie and say I’m halfway there
I lie and say that you do care
I tuck it deep within a prayer
And color over this nightmare
I say good morning love instead of farewell
And it is here that you will always dwell
You can find my love in heaven or hell
© Delia Ross. 2019
Update: I did a soft reading of Heaven or Hell on my IGTV, which you can watch here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/By21uAOhvvF/?igshid=1jj1vlogbz00y
Long are the days, lost are the words
Vast is the maze, lines all were blurred
Heavy this price pays, mistakes have occurred
Blind was my gaze, faltered and uncured
Hot is my blaze, lessons still are learned
Wishing for sunray’s, or confession preferred
Longing for praise, but only silence is heard
© Delia Ross. 2019
How do you forget something once you know it exists
How do you put the blade to your own wrist
How do you cross a soul off of your list
How do you explain chaos needs a misfit
How do you find light when the sun’s never lit
How can a stranger leave such an imprint
What is it about me you don’t want to risk
How much more pain are you going to inflict
I’m chained to a cross and your actions afflict
My heart is still buried inside your dark crypt
I know I was wrong and deserve to be whipped
But I’ve never experienced anything like this
If there are rules please hand me a script
Do you forgive me for being such quick lipped
I’d crawl unto you and beg to be kissed
My love is on a 24-hour eternal shift
© Delia Ross. 2019
It’s half-past heartbreak
The pain grips like a snake
There’s nothing to stop the ache
Once upon a better time
Wasting youth was such a crime
Pride it only cost a dime
It’s long past sorrow
There’s no joy here to borrow
I still pray he calls tomorrow
Third times a charm or so we learn
In slavery until we are adjourned
And so the same ole pages turn
These forty years I only yearn
© Delia Ross. 2019
PoeEternal 