Narcissism 2.0

Regret; you wear it like a dress,
Take it for a spin in a shiny corvette.

Integrity; you haven’t got any yet,
Honesty a language you never learned I bet.

Lies; they’re like sparkle in your disguise,
When it meets the light it always make the shadows cry.

Tears; they come wrapped as a favorite prize,
Just another reason the Earth will die.

© Delia Ross. 2019

Narcissism is destroying the world.

Eagle

I am like an eagle
I’m trying to unplug sheeple
I am raising flags on evil
Corporations are not people

They won’t understand
I’m fighting for their life
I’ve fighted for their rights
I’m shining all the lights

BIG PHARMA IS A CANCER
DO YOU NEED ANOTHER ANSWER
PILLS ARE JUST AN ANCHOR
THEY’LL SEND YOU TO A CHAMBER

© Delia Ross. 2019


Another death, big pharm to blame, I’M ANGRY!!!!!

Likes and Comments

Regarding likes and comments, I will never like a post unless I’ve actually read it. I would comment more but I am weird and have a difficult time fitting in due to anxiety. Please take the time to read something I post if you’re going to hit the like button. I feel like bloggers are hitting like without reading, just so they can get likes in return. Tid for tat. But it’s heartbreaking to spill my words on these pages for free for you and you don’t even take the time to read the content, you’re just coming along giving my post a ton of likes and you’re not making any effort to listen to anything I do. It makes me want to isolate even more.

If I leave you two or three words under a post you’ve made, you should appreciate that just as much as someone who’s giving you an entire paragraph, you don’t know how hard it was for me to even reach out to you to start with.

All I’m asking is for you to please take the time to read a post before you “like it”, the same respect and courtesy I give to you, your writings, your blog, your time. I read you, I see you. Please see me. I’ve been used and ghosted enough. ✌

xxoo POEETERNAL (Delia)

Eastbound

Silence on the battleground
Blood on my sword
Sorrow now eastbound
Forgiveness I’m not marching toward

The sky is red
My heart is black
The love is dead
I’m not coming back

Tie my boots tighter
Brush off the pain
I am a fighter
Death is my reign

Casualties on the field
Integrity is my alibi
Your end is where I healed
So this is where you die

© Delia Ross. 2019 

Hello Farewell

Fairytale or nightmare
Heaven or hell
Common man or devil
This time I can’t tell

Leisure or battle
Sickly not well
Poison or apple
To leave or to dwell

Whole or a sample
Free or for sale
Space or a shackle
Real or a spell

So many I tackle
His shit I can smell
Tongues full of babble
Be quiet or yell

Fist or a grapple
Satin or shell
To flee or to straddle
Correct or misspell

Stand still now or paddle
The boat took a swell
Clear thoughts or to channel
Hello or farewell

© Delia Ross. 2019


Dropped spoken word of this on my Tuners account 👍

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Love Beats On

“Stop! What are you doing?”, he demanded an answer holding a look of shock
Her face stained with black mascara and fear so thick she could hardly talk
He kneeled down beside her, their eyes in a gridlock
“I’ve learned you are the one and now it’s time to walk the walk”
Lips connected and fate started their heart clock

Love beats on…

© Delia Ross. 2019

A sad beginning with a happy ending. The middle is now. Unwritten.

Sad angel (selfie)
Teach me that I’m worth more than my mistakes (selfie)
I think people should be worth more than their mistakes (selfie)
Don’t you? (Selfie, no filter)

Wrath

“I do terribly bad things”, she said with a saddened sorrow
“Spontaneous combustion”, Lu replied
She was gazing in her mirror, Lu was just behind
Leaning on her shoulder, like he was her beau

He goes places with her no other will go
He knows too many things he shouldn’t know
A mask to Lu is an open window
The thicker they get, the more that you owe

“My tongue is full of sin” she said
As she took a blade, her eyes were blood red
The cold steel on her neck, her gaze still ahead
With careful, quick precision, Lu swiped the blade from her hand, he was never much of a figurehead

“Terribly bad things”, as she crashed to the floor
A creature of the underworld, and she could take no more
Too many souls abandoned, what is she fighting for
If only love could be her savior

“Hey kid, they only fear your purity because they sin,
They act tough where their skin is thin,
They create chaos in an endless cycle they spin,
They search for winnings, where the devil will always win”

With a hand that swung with the thunder of Thor
With a face of refusal and ready for war
With her hand on the trigger and ready to score
Standing an inch from the devil she let out a roar

© Delia Ross. 2019

Do you ever feel like the devil is on your shoulder? That was sort of the goal for the bathroom mirror scene. Now’s he’s been all through the house. Time to see a priest, deep, dark thoughts abide. Maybe an exorcist too. Definitely could use spiritual cleansing from a psychic.

A Visit From Lu Part 7

So there it was, Lu and I
Outstretched his hand an ally
There sat a truce within his eye
Another devil here to apologize

Once you’ve heard one lie you’ve heard them all
You can change the ending but you cannot stop the fall
You can change your perceptions but you’re still behind a wall
The only lies worth spinning are the ones you can’t recall

Lu has been there for me since the day that I was born
When my parents would beat me and my wings could not take form
As if it was his duty to sit with me and mourn
So deep down in the darkness that his feet would come to warn

There are some places angels aren’t meant to be
And it was during my lowest times Lu would come remind me
And it is always a fine line between heaven and hell I am walking
And there’s not a detail overlooked when the devil is talking

But the dark has come again and now Lu has arrived
But these really are his tunnels where we all reside
And even in this darkness my purity has thrived
I wonder if his prayers are the reason I survived

The words hello and goodbye never slip from my tongue
The sorrow feels deeper and long it was hung
The worry will linger where heart took a stung
And with very few words the devil just took a swung…

To be continued!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019


Oh my goodness y’all, Lu has been protecting her all of her life until now!?! What did he say to her? Why has he hurt her!?!

I’ve never tried writing like this before, my epic tragedy was written in one night after it came to me in a dream. I had an idea for a story (this one) and wanted to see if I could write a longer piece but I wanted it to be without rules and regulations and I wanted it to feel experimental. I haven’t written any rough drafts or used any of the prewriting techniques we were taught in school. I knew the basis for the story and I wanted it to feel open-world. I dig open world video games (I’m a huge gamer and I’ve been playing games since I was a little girl and it’s one reason I want to play Survivor CBS cuz game play matters and that’s the best game on fucking Earth and I’m getting ready to audition for a fourth time and the first rule of Survivor is never give up). Anyhoo. This has been a huge challenge for me and I can’t believe I’m already into part 7. Sometimes I just want to quit writing cuz I’m nowhere good as the people who admire me the most, even my best isn’t comparable. But I try so hard… in pretty much every aspect of my life. To fail over and over again. But that’s life, failing and getting back up again to fail again. *sigh*

Carcinogen

Gone but now back again
And by the end of the week
You’ll be missing then
It’s becoming routine
A cycle of ends
And now another peak
Is there ever zen
If honesty were to leak
I needed a friend
So frail and rarely meek
Are these Earthmen
It’s not what I seek
And you are carcinogen

© Delia Ross. 2019

Could use a fag now actually… (do Americans know it’s slang for cigarettes!?!)

The Day I End

There she is, it is death on the horizon
And follow my sorrows she will
Until the day I end

There it goes, all the light from the Sun
I was looking for love where none of it was real
I was looking for hope in any direction I could ascend

There it flows, my hope is on the run
And bring with it a fear that covers with chill
While the devil whispers softly “suicide is your friend”

© Delia Ross. 2019

If

If words had weight
If wrongs had reasons
If wounds didn’t ache
If forgiveness had seasons

If goodbyes came with rainbows
If my love was chose
If only I was enough
If only he’d show up

If hands had healing
If tears had feelings
If life had meaning
If hearts were beating

If moments were real
If love were ideal
If lights were not blinding
If you would stop hiding

If galaxies were moving
If darkness stopped the blooming
If alibis were candy
If heartaches were brandy

© Delia Ross. 2019

If only I knew how to end this fucking heartache…

A Visit From Lu Part 2

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 1


A Visit From Lu Part 2

Now it is true Lu has been after me since about 1978
Ever since I fled the compounds of those Pearly gates
Restricted to forever yet I castrated my own fate
I fell beyond the heavens to see what love I could create

“Alright, enough with the charades”, Lu had finally said
“Why did you call me here” as he leaned across my bed
And I a child started giggling until my face was turning red
But careful is the food I chew when it’s the devil passing bread

It was in this moment that both our eyes connected
I often wondered how many souls he had collected
Which of the seven sins had the best method
And was the numbers what they both expected

Those numbers won’t mean anything, if Lu can’t collect, both of my wings
Black as onyx, soft as silk, one feather would please all the kings
There’s unspoken pleasures that my feather brings
There’s only one in the world with the deed to these blessings

“First off Lu, I never called you here”
“If I were to pray now, it would be for you to disappear
My soul is not for bargain, let me make it clear –
I seem to remind you year after year…”

And now he knows I am speaking truth
Honesty, it’s what earned my wings of youth
He knows lying here, will never be of use
It is why I’m such a challenge and one he cannot lose

To be continued…!?!

© Delia Ross. 2019

Read: A Visit From Lu Part 3


How are you liking this fantasy religion stuffs? Should I continue the story with part 3? I’ve been sort of taking the long way around, so I haven’t really got to the bread-and-butter yet. 😄

Really dig the last line in the 2nd stanza tho, I did goods there, right? 🤔 Made it worth writing part two me thinks.

Mirage 2.0

I thought that he was far away but he doesn’t exist
I thought they were a bouquet of poems, not a blade to cut my wrist
For a moment, I felt loved, now I feel his fist
And whatever I’ve done, well he’s over it

One, two, three, four, there’s so many grabbing at his line
It was written for her but now nevermind
And if he can’t have her, we get zero rhyme
If he only knew they left us completely blind

He kept us marching so long in the desert
And thirsty we were for any squirt
We were just disciples for him to hurt
And the connections that were made he doesn’t give a fuck

© Delia Ross. 2019

Identity

Ruined! Ruined! He would croon
And sit I would under his Blue Moon
He’d stitch at his identity until noon
And come tomorrow sing a different tune

© Delia Ross. 2019

Essentially, all of our lives we are trying to figure out who we are. We all wear masks, don’t fool yourself. Welcome to ego. Destination: piss poor self-esteem or narcissism. Welcome to the 5th level of hell. It’s really hard to manage your consciousness here or “self”. I hope you brought rum… (and if not, why the fuck is the rum gone!?!)

Loss For Words

Take my hand, replace the pen with blade
Remove the smile and put on the ache
Close my eyes and pull down the shade
Memories are better when they fade

Take the ink and spread it on my pain
Ensure the tears are gone without a trace
Organize regrets and hide their face
Erase the love that’s written on the page

Say amends but never say goodbye
The space so far he’d never hear me cry
If I could take his pain you know I’d try
And if he ever wrote I would reply

© Delia Ross. 2019

having feels

Polaroid

I want everybody to be you and when they’re not I’m destroyed
And that leaves me wondering what kind of blockage you’ve deployed
Because life is at a stop when it is life that I avoid
For every memory stored you are a mental polaroid

I don’t want this and I don’t want that
If it’s not you it’s not allowed to pass
This toll booth is closed, you must find another path
If the thought isn’t of you, I’m going to squash it flat

Now my heart is closed and nothings getting through
And all these other feelings have no revenue
Now my doctor claims skies aren’t the only thing that’s blue
Yet none of these pills kill my desires of you

© Delia Ross. 2019


OH MY EFFING GAWD right, so, Alexander Ebert is reading an entire book on the awesome app he created called Tuners (it’s kind of like Instagram or Facebook without the video or photos and is radio format for open communications about anything). I drop a wee bit of rhyme there, I’m shy. People freestyle. It’s awesome and FREE. Alex is about as unplugged as they come, he’s a genius and my muse. 🙂 He’s teaching me how to be human. Anyhoo, this book he’s reading called “The Untethered Soul” is teaching me some stuffs. Pretty amazing I enjoy still learning. So chapter 6 got me heated and I left some commentary on Tuners about it. But I also woke up and freestyle dropped this poem *giggles* cuz as of yesterday I was ready to pack it in and quit. Writing all together. And living too I think. Whatev. I’m emo. Sue me. Wouldn’t be the first time. “The grass was greener, the light was brighter, the taste was sweeter, with friends surrounding, the nights of wonder, forever and ever…” (and bonus points if you know that song). Oh, the poem is about that dude I like clearly (not Alex, duh). But how many of us do that; cling to something? A memory, a moment whether it is good or bad? And that actually prevents us from living in the now. Living in the now, allows life to flow and happen naturally. But when we cling to the past, or to a thought, we are blocking the energy of essentially everything else around us. And this is true so often, for so much. So to really appreciate life, we must strive to be in the now. ✌

Note to self: STOP CLINGING

P.S. I’ll update later with some links to Tuners.

P.S.S. And so the lesson is, stop clinging, live in the now, leave your heart open, allow energy to flow. And we decide this ourselves every moment of our lives. It’s up to you to live free. (Meditation helps to clean out negative energies, I use rock and stone).

Apophis

The service you subscribe to has been temporarily disabled
The lies I was eating too, were all mislabeled
Feelings that could not be swallowed, pushed under the table
The love she was selling you, have clogged your cables
Caring now a fortune and something I’m just not able

Annoyance like a vine and it creeps and entwines
If happiness were a choice they would all still decline
It seems so obvious but they require written signs
Apophis now a decade out from the end-of-times

Life’s so very short but they still won’t understand
And if they wake up now they might feel something grand
And it will be too late when she comes to kiss this land
And if that doesn’t work, well, death has other plans

© Delia Ross. 2019

Life is short, love now… MORE LOVE. The world needs more love. I don’t have time for anything else.

CONFUSION FRONT AND CENTER

I placed it in the trash but he said it wasn’t broke
I put it on the shelf then he said it doesn’t work

I offered him a piece but he didn’t take my pie
Yet he doesn’t want me giving it to another guy

Anytime that I move forward there appears another gate
But if I turn around he’s flagging to go straight

I might have said some things that I never meant to say
But he will plead the fifth or look the other way

I tried to read the signs but they’re written in foreign
And even if they were it wouldn’t stop me from adoring

I really wish he liked me but he doesn’t think I’m witty
I don’t fall on the list of girls that he finds pretty

I listened to his reason but it’s confusion front-and-center
And when I said I loved him the season turned to winter

I stumble through the weather like I am a zombie
And watching me break must be his favorite hobby

© Delia Ross. 2019

Orpheus

Deeper deeper deeper, she said
Beware, there’s demons everywhere
In the underworld, keep your eyes ahead
Once you go, don’t look back, or I’m dead
And the pain will never stop circling
Your life will always be full of dread
Keep your eyes on the prize instead
Or Hades will keep me prisoner by his bed
Don’t look back, cuz you won’t find me there

© Delia Ross. 2019

I wrote this a while back but never thought it good enough to share…

Dirt

Got his hand on my throat with every word
Got his squeeze on my pump with every hurt
Got his eye on the prize if ever I’m sure
And with the right ingredients just maybe a cure

Got his hand on the ready to offer comfort
Got my mind on the question though maybe he answered
She’s got her nose in the air as if she’s the expert
And she cries for his heart like a rich man now beggared

Got his tongue on the bottle so maybe it slurred
And my outrage is written though normally censored
But he claims that he loves me and I’m certain she heard
And so I do my best to not blind her with dirt

© Delia Ross. 2019

Chess

He moves me around like pieces of a chess board
A game he fully intends to win
He uses me like a pawn in a game of life
And he knows I will never quit

With his pen and with his will he continues to record
Every single squinch I make because he likes it when I sin
And deeper in he puts the knife
For I can never match his wit

For months his darkness I explored
I still feel him deep within
Many times I dropped the strife
And he still would not submit

I turn to rage when I’m ignored
Do you think it makes him grin?
I ask him not to be his wife
Just a friend I can commit

© Delia Ross. 2019

Make love, not war ✌

Clue

I’m on an island of a thousand tears
If you took a boat you could find me here
Silhouettes of you in the clouds appear
Echoes of your voice in the atmosphere
On my knees in prayer I gently kneel

I drift alone on this bank of silence
Every tear another wish for your guidance
Reflections in the waves I see your diamonds
Nothing fills my need more than your iris
Open up your eyes you’ll see your alliance

I know your past and still I love you
I can be your future should you want me to
I can be your now should you pursue
I can be that friend you never outgrew
I can be whatever you need if you haven’t got a clue

© Delia Ross. 2019

A Raft Named Hello

I built a raft from my tears so my love could sail into your foreign skies
I etched a map with blood and stains made from all your lies
And drew upon her side HELLO but she’s better with goodbyes
But still my hand aptly wrote her name across her guise

And from my fears a wind took hold which carried off my back
And anchored in its belly are the cares from which you lack
And settled in the hull are all the nights that I lost track
Moments lost in time but they filled me with your black

There may come a time when it finally reaches you
A chance to recognize and understand its value
A moment to cherish what you never knew
But I already died from failure of rescue

© Delia Ross. 2019

Rainbow

I took a trail that he never did pave
I said goodbye to hands that never did wave
I killed the parts in me that required aid
I buried the love he incorrectly weighed

I’m still uncertain what is my worth
According to him it’s not very much
I felt the pain of a missing touch
My soul wanton and fully crushed

I watch him give his time to another
Her love so possessive it seems to smother
Meanwhile our distance only gets further
And our rainbow is finally losing color

Black and white rainbows reside here
I drown big pharma so I can’t feel
I killed the parts that time won’t heal
And with this lesson he taught me I dissappear

© Delia Ross. 2019

Made in Heaven (Movie Recommendation)

Made in Heaven has been my favorite love story and film since I was 10 years old. It’s currently available to watch for free on Vudu. It’s from 1987 and you shouldn’t even watch a preview, you should just go watch the film. If it doesn’t pull on your heartstrings, then you’re probably not alive.

It’s one of the most beautiful stories ever written and I cry every single time I watch it. It ruined me on love. In a good way.

I decided I’m going to write a poem about it, in fact, I’ve already started.

So if you’d like to watch a really really good movie, that isn’t based on sex, drugs, horror, and rock and roll, but is an actual good story with thriving characters, and a soaring cast, go check it out. You can thank me later. Get your tissues ready though. sniff sniff

The film is PG.

Can you handle a PG movie or are you so desensitized from modern movies?

If you do watch it, will you let me know what you think about it? 😇

That ending scene, OH MY HEART.

I feel like watching it twice tonight.

Love Is The Subject

It doesn’t exist
Nothing is perfect
But we exist
And I can’t resist
My lips to kiss
All that’s hurt
To find a perfect fit
And to worship it
Just like magic
Until my love is felt
For it to bring you rest
Let it nest
Let it connect
For you to accept
I’m not done loving you yet
It’s time for you to resurrect
Remember I fell for this quest
To make your life blessed
To whisper sweet nothings on your neck
To rest my worries on your chest
And to have finally slept
Beside your very best
That’s all we have left
Love is the subject
For you it was meant
In my soul it is etched
In my spirit it is dreamt
Through my heart swept
Underneath my breast
With both hands prepped
Where both feet leapt
And both knees bent
To you who I can’t forget
Who put me to the test
Who made me wept
Where all my love crept
With all my patience spent
Crawling where you are sketched
Wanting your respect
Hoping my love you won’t neglect

© Delia Ross. 2019

Aligned

You’ll find you’ll hardly make it out alive
You’ll find you’ll hardly make it out in time
You’ll find him hidden inside my rhyme
You’ll find she’s rarely ever cross your mind
You’ll find you can see where you were blind
You’ll know where to find me if so inclined
You’ll find me in jail where my hearts been confined
Though uncoupled we are still aligned
Our souls in orbit just as designed
Cut the ropes to your past and leave all behind

© Delia Ross. 2019

Intro

It hurts more than my feelings
It hurts more than my pride
It hurts more than my ego
It hurts more than your lies

It cost more than your freedom
It cost more than my cries
It cost more than your window
It cost more of my time

I live in limbo
While you agonize
I see a hero
You’d never recognize

This is an intro
To a better life
The cost is zero
If you drop the guise

© Delia Ross. 2019

Silver

It’s not terribly hard to see you’re always chasing after young silver
Spend your days shinning every dime by the muddy river
Try to hide reflections of a liar in its mirror
If the devil bit you in the head it wouldn’t make it that much clearer
But I’m going to cover you in truth until you shine like glitter
I doubt anything I write can make you more bitter
You’ll probably claim you’re a victim and call me a killer
But neither of us are walking out of here a winner
My heart lost its color and settled for winter
I told you to shoot but you failed to pull the trigger
And now my love for you will always just kind of linger
If you ever want a friend you’re invited for dinner
If you ever need a rare element that’s where I can deliver
I hope one day you will warm my heart from this shiver
Until then my soul will just tremble and quiver

(He always wants the young silver – she’ll never want what he can give her)

© Delia Ross. 2019

Warm Linen

I wonder if he writes me words like I do for him
Sometimes I reach out to only find a phantom limb
I’m learning that his desire for me is looking rather slim
There are many girls he likes but I’m not one of them
The spark for life that I once had is dying from within
Still I read his words and take a skinny dip to swim
I run around his sacred words like I am a pilgrim
My soul reacts and knows that he is one in a trillion
He probably doesn’t want it but he left me so smitten
I can feel my orbit gaining speed and spiraling
I still have the hope that he may be listening
And even though he rejected me I hope he is living
He’s so many miles from me it feels like a million
I want to wrap around him like he is warm linen

© Delia Ross. 2019

Karma

There it was, labeled to me – I, the addressee
Trying on lovers because revenge tasted sweetly
Inserting the blade ever so neatly –
Ensuring the heart was severed completely

Burning through dreams like an oil field in the night
Running out of fuel and the zest for a life
Looking back but never having any foresight
Dancing in alleyways with nothing but a knife

I can lie and pretend I will live and die by you
One day, I’ll come to know those lies were never true
And now decades of mistakes when I should have just withdrew
That’s the trouble with searching for treasure when you haven’t any clue

© Delia Ross. 2019


RSVP Declined

Why send an invitation if it’ll just be declined
I want to be seen but I stand with the blind
Every rejection makes me more aligned
I still look confused though I’ve made up my mind
You warned you were bad but you are the worst kind

Oh teacher, oh teacher why’d you leave me blue
Another desertion what more can I do
We barely had started but now we are through
I may have been late but I can’t outrun you
Give me the full movie not just the preview

© Delia Ross. 2019

Made of Steel

Lay down your guards
I’ll lay down my shield
I’m not here to wound
To punish or kill

Distance can be measured in yards
There is still so much that I haven’t revealed
Place a new bet or just lay down your cards
Everything must be of our own free will

I’ve been getting drunk on the wrong boulevards
Spending time lost, crying and roaming the field
Most of the time I forget to send my regards
Too broken and shattered and trying to heal

Everyone warned me that life would be hard
Your death opened wounds that never have healed
I’m just a gal that most disregards
Or maybe they think we’re all made of steel

© Delia Ross. 2019

Chasing Ghosts

We’ve been lost on the same road
Making circles back again
We’ve been chasing all the ghost
Who will destroy us in the end
Along the way we have passed
Pretending each were a friend
How long can we last
Avoiding roads full of sin
What test do we pass
Where does the road to love begin
All the signs along the way
Point to never meeting him

© Delia Ross. 2019