Tag: forgiveness

Code Words

March 27th, 2021

Is there a secret code written
Maybe in the stars hidden?
That connects you and I?

Are there garbled words which turn a prism?
Into harvest worlds that keep us smitten?
The way your verbs connect my heart and mind

Are there paths we’ve taken still unwritten?
The way my will to you is freely given
Under cross or reign, no clearer vision
I am hung to you like holy linen

Was it God himself who became a villain?
Touching toes in hell, loving all a sinner?
I am called a whore, you’d give me your dinner?
The lesson here, I think love’s a winner?

© Delia Ross. 2021 / @poeeternal

I don’t know if I said what I was trying to say or not? It’s a messy morning freestyle. The message became more important than the rhyme.

Jesus loved a sinner best (as I love you) – if I recall correctly, he made some “whore” his equal (but the illuminati removed her from history and I’ve been trying to get ahold of her script so I could read what she had to say) .

“Let’s reinvent gods all the myths of the ages“

Stone me, love me, I’m yours. Free will.

I can handle whatever you give me.

I would die for you.

2 words we should just avoid: hello and goodbye?

Is hello so hard because of all the things I’ve done?

Would you deny me 3 times? In public? My name?

The kiss of betrayal?

Would you sell me out for money?

No, I don’t believe you or I would, but I believe that bitch you were formally with, you know the one with the red hair that I still can’t fucking stand, yeah that one, that one would definitely fucking deny you three times for money…

Even tho she acts like your number ~~1 stalker, I mean fan.~~

I still own that title per my confession on TikTok 👀

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeUC7b31/

So whatcha gonna do, crucify me cuz I love you? You already do, DAILY with the ghosting.

*waves white flag*

Surrender/ not your enemy 👣👣👣❤️👣👣👣

(I’m not her enemy either and she needs to learn how to play with others in the playground and stop being a bully. I haven’t been to her blog in a thousand fucking years. I made my apologies publicly and privately and have made my peace with my errors a long time ago.) And nothing I ever did to her justifies her trying to sabotage and take down my business.

Not to mention she was 1000% not following WordPress policy. Was I wrong to leave hateful comments on her blog? Yes. I’m a child, we know this. 👀

Erroneously reporting my content on Instagram and getting it removed out of spite and jealousy, is again, fucking wrong and illegal. Instagram continues to put it back because I am following TOS policy.

She has found a way to manipulate the system because she’s a two-faced bitch.

I know it is her or someone working for her and you’re not gonna convince me otherwise.

Every trail leads to her.

Except your new book, thank fucking god. I have seen the light.

Psycho fucking bitch

Oh sorry, still thinking out loud… 👀

I mean, it’s only been like 48 hours since she tried to take my account down again, so all is fair in the game of love and war???

👀

Checkmate? 👀

Matching tides. I adore you. 😍

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Catch

November 25th, 2020
If longing had wings with starlight attached
Were it equipped to carry hope and well-being
If troubles were a sunset
Drifting into sea

Would you catch me?

© Delia Ross. 2020 / @poeeternal

Thanks for checking out my work!
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It Is Written

November 24th, 2020

What are your words if hollow and brittle?
What becomes of care when you show so little?
Then remove the lie from the middle-
Watch your honor fade and dwindle?

It’s time integrity took a stand
Purity is the only thing I’ve got in hand
I fell for your ruse, you’re just the better man?
But I can promise, it won’t happen again…

I’ve learned that love is simply a myth
And if you have a name, let’s call you Judas
Deception is every kiss
And betrayal, it’s written on your fist…

© Delia Ross. 2020

I don’t even know who I’m talking to anymore. Judas Iscariot? Where’s my kiss?

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

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Favorite

November 13th, 2020

No matter how many times I slam closed the doors of communication
He’ll be on the other side waiting
Anticipating apology and thorough aching
My overall frustration for misbehaving

His back my entire foundation
My heart his home base station
Tossing apologies in the fire for cremation
I’m his favorite creation

© Delia Ross. 2020

My OnlyFans account deletion has been stopped, as I’ve decided to stay there. I’m not sure when people will be able to re-subscribe again (it’s pending reactivation) but I know you can follow me there until. And thank you for your patience with me as I grow as a writer and artist. And human being overall. 🙂

He knows I’m sorry. But I don’t know if I could ever face him and say it. And if I ever did find the courage to face him again and say it, he’d just throw it away immediately.

So the good news is he didn’t block me. He still doesn’t know I exist. Like one of them soldiers standing guard for the queen. Solid as stone. Hardened? Hates me? Maybe I’m just the ghost haunting him. Oh noes, helps. *sobs* 😭😭😭

Uhm, thanks for still finding value in me even though I can be a depressed, emo, isolated little bitch, who pushes everyone away and crucifies the one I love the most.

I’m deeply sorry. But I don’t know how to say it anymore. There’s a good chance it’ll happen again but that doesn’t mean I’m not sorrys.

Got back on tbe 18+ Insta too

My LinkTree will take you places: https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

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Flight

November 10th, 2020

If only reason would pour itself over me the way your rains will do
The way your skies are blue
Calling me for a flight or two
I love you

© Delia Ross. 2020

I can’t get him to block me back no matter what I do. I don’t purposely seek out rubble, it’s just sometimes a huge chunk breaks off me like a boulder and starts rolling down and crushing anyone in his path. And as I’m tumbling down the hole of despair, he’s still there. Picking up all the little pebbles and tucking them right into his heart.

So yeah, I found another way to scream I’M DROWNING, while in a spiral downward. I clawed him all the way down, too. Landed right back by his side in pieces.

I’m staring up from down below. Wondering how many times I have to start again. As his rope begins to descend. Was that not my end?

This is why poetry exists. Edgar Allan Poe lost the love of his life and literally died in the street and I have some of his previously, unpublished words he wrote for her tattooed on my ribcage.

Edgar Allan Poe and the words he wrote his true love after she died. And then he died. In the fucking street. Naked!!! At only age 40! 😭

Older photo of my Edgar Poe tat when it was healing “My love is lying” me too Poe!! But in a different way!! “I must weep alone” same same!!! 😭

So what does all this mean?

I’m having difficulty living without him and don’t want to die in the street?

I’d like more tats. They were getting super strict about tattoos in the military. But now that I’m out, I can work on getting some visible tattoos once the Jeep is paid off (on my last 2 payments). Everything cost the moneys I don’t have. Join my Patreon! 🙏

I need better photos of my Edgar Allan Poe tattoo and I also want to get some flowers around my hip and the poem.

Me no likey pains. Me wants pleasures. Take away me pain.

Real body, real person, real scars. I don’t want to remove my sex organs for plastic. Get over it. I’ve made it to age 42 without a single gray hair. ACCOMPLISHMENT. CHECKMATE. (someone has requested for me to get on the onlyfans but if you don’t mind the fact that I have a real body, I’m going to be starting a new nude cosplay tier on my Patreon 2021 (potentially). I’m not a model. I’m just yer average gal in a petite body trying to do extraordinary things. I have done’s. (I’ve had many guys body-shame me over the years for not having fake boobs or fake tans, nails, and hair for that matter). I guess I’m supposed to be this bombshell pornstar 24/7 which is not what I am at all. They weren’t even good lovers. Let alone decent human beings. If I could do my twenties over, I would spend it making less mistakes with man. So now Ima do me for my final decade (and I’d be hella lucky to make it to 50 at the rate my body and mind is disintegrating). Thanks for seeing me and appreciating me while I’m alive.

I’ve never gone pink or bleached my fine silks. Trying to keep my hair growing after I die… I don’t know how Gavin Rossdale would respond if I showed up at a Bush show with pink hair, he already adores the fuck out of me coming to his shows. I get the VIP treatment whether I do VIP or not. 😊

I currently have 3 tats, 1 on my lower back (also another excruciating part of the body due to your nerve endings), ribcage (Poe tat) and upper chest (super easy in comparison to the back and rib). My Edgar Allan Poe tattoo is my largest (and that bad boy is on my ribcage). I’m going to be getting some new tattoos in 2021!!! I mean, like if I don’t die. Which is literally quite easy to do.

I’m starting to get request for the onlyfans. But I don’t want to do any kind of porn acts. I asked them if they’d still be willing or interested if I did classy nude cosplay sometimes with Vampire elements and they said yes and be willing to spend 15 to $20 on that so. That’s good. Good that I’m starting to get requests & price estimates. I even took a screenshot for my self-esteem (of the request). So thank you, because I really want to get into the cosplay and I need some support for that. Costumes, fangs, makeups, gear, equipment. FOOD. GAS to get places. They discovered my Insta! Hope the shadowban’s been lifted!!

I’m on the Patreon, if you dig my writing and photography or digiart, there’s loads of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT up (including photography you can use for your own projects)! You get cool perks for pledging and I get to keep writing and running my blog advert free! I really like writing! I’ve been practicing my art since I was a little girl, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do it professionally and to keep writing and making art!

http://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Not Today

November 7th, 2020

The moon’s sway
An ocean wave
The love you never gave
My heart’s decay

Stars at night behave
The roads they pave
Forgiveness a knock away
But not today

© Delia Ross. 2020 @poeeternal

Not today and probably not tomorrow either. Jesus himself could try to teach me the lesson of forgiveness but God literally made me incapable of learning it. I’m an angel. I am meant to send demons to hell. And I’m an ACTUAL warrior, highly and sufficiently trained by the United States Army for 15 years. Even been to combat, have seen war. Broken in more ways than one, but never my integrity. Not my honor. Not my pride for the sacrifices, I’ve done for my country.You can’t fucking break me, the Army already did. And I’m going to survive this apocalypse without you. Enjoy your proverbial bed. 😊

I cringe at socialites. Just not my thing. And that’s okay. Introverts deserve recognition too.

I barely can handle family events which is why I pretty much don’t do them anymore either.

2 am snapchat version me (and 48 hours no sleep, yay insomnia)!!!

And to the ones who give me space to do my work without any bullshit involved, thank you. I’ve said this like a thousand times before, but I am a war vet and I am not a social creature. You shouldn’t base how much I like you, on how often I come around. But there’s also certain platforms that I have gotten off of, for the most part like Facebook, because it’s toxic as fuck. I had stayed on the Instagram and Twitter but I’m kind of falling off the Twitter now too.

You’ll notice I’ve never had a contact box on my blog. I don’t participate in prompts. I’m currently not doing collabs. I’m not good with communicating anymore either. I don’t do social events, I don’t do social outings. I don’t people. I don’t even like knocks at my door or phone calls. I have disabilities and health issues that keep me isolated. But I still have to kill off friendships because they get mad at me for not wanting to go hang out at a bar. I don’t even drink. 👎👎

You can bribe me with food though at any point in the day. Be extra careful though at midnight because that’s when I’m the hungriest and turn into a gremlin if I DON’T EAT.

On the upside, I am considering adding a limited number video chat tier to my Patreon, as many writers and artists offer it. Can discuss anything, writing, read me something you’re working on, chat about the weather, get writing tips, get feedback on a project you’re working on. Whatever! Regular stuffs that these video chats are for (the non sex work stuff)!

I’m also wanting to add a print tier (which is coming hopefully within the next 60 days) and if I could get enough support rolling in, a cosplay nude tier. Costumes, makeup, props, equipment, these things require money. I’ll be needing to update my goals on my Patreon soon as I’m growing thanks to your feedback, encouragement, and continued support! ❤💪💪💪❤

I like my privacy and my solitude but you know, there are narcissists out there who give you the cold shoulder for it. I’m not freezing tho. I’ve got shelter. I paid my electric and rent + 9000 other basic cost of living expenses which keep the poor poor. But my feet are warm. I mean, the narcissists tools of manipulation just don’t work on me anymore. Sorry not sorry. Hungry and suicidal. On edge 24/7. Want to be on my own, create art and fuck the patriarchy… Basic 101. Art was always meant to be political. Or rather anarchical and against the norm. HELLO, THAT’S ME!!! *waves*

Insomniac queen

Thanks for checking out my work and supporting independent writers and mental health warriors! 💖

I’m on the Patreon, if you dig my writing and photography or digiart, there’s loads of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT up! You get cool perks for pledging and I get to keep writing and running my blog advert free! I really like writing! I’ve been practicing my art since I was a little girl, thank you for giving me the opportunity to do it professionally! 😍

http://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Where

October 29th, 2020

Do you recall
When you were lost
In purgatory of the loss
So numb in the dark
No light or a spark
How much I cared?

If you remember
I held your crown
I took your cross
Through the desert and across
All your sins at no costs
Though your pain has been shared

If you flush your eyes
Stop looking down
Where your heart knows holocaust
Clear the fog and the frost
Find your soul where I’m embossed
And stop asking where

© Delia Ross. 2020

What you’re seeking has been found.

Thanks for checking out my blog! Links to stalk and support me! https://linktr.ee/poeeternal

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Ray

October 27th, 2020

If only words were removed from page
And hearts were not full of grey
I’d lift the sun in such a way
Your burdens would just turn to ray
And I’d be there with heart to say
I love you every single day

© Delia Ross. 2020

Your burdens would just turn to ray

There’s a good chance my poetry isn’t beautiful at all but it’s just how he makes me feel. Inadvertently, I mean. Because I am nothing and nothing is for me. 👍

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Bridges To Forgiveness

October 17th, 2020

If bridges were steps to forgiveness, I’d collect every tear you drop-
Pave the road with hope, and the love we brought.

If gardens grew trust, it’d be a golden crop-
And every bit of fruit we share, a taste of love we sought.

If distance was a rainbow, for your hug I’d hop-
For every moment I exist, you are in my thought.

© Delia Ross. 2020

Picked up a new mask for the cosplay from my patron support (I am not in costume here but this is me)! It’ll be used in upcoming shoots! I’ll be making more photography / digiart that you may use for your own projects! It will be loaded into my campaign as exclusive content! Thanks so much! 💞

Cliffnote: Still apologizing to my love (and enemies) for uprooting his existence and shining my light on his darkness that he’s pulling and sucking every bit of light from me, until you won’t be able to distinguish the light from the dark as we become one, our words embedded with time.

If you appreciate this blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon so I can pay my bills and eat: www.patreon.com/poeeternal

If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here.

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Our Tree

August 25th, 2020

I went to visit the tree we planted
The seed that fell as our hearts connected
The hope that grew as love erected
A time before I was neglected

I buried my heart where you rejected
And even left faith if ever collected
I have found peace and wrongs been corrected
The tree keeps our poetry safe and protected

© Delia Ross. 2020

I still plant his poetry in the better parts of me… his entire existence became a nebula for my poetry and to be honest I haven’t stopped writing about him. I wonder if he still reads these.

In an alternative universe, there is a tree growing with our initials, threaded together by our poetry.

His existence changed me. It’s still changing me. I wish he grasped the power of that.

If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.

I’m now on Twitch! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Messy but fucking lovable

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A Special Video Message Regarding Depression & Mental Health Awareness + thanks

August 20th, 2020

Hey y’all! Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday special yesterday!! If you left love on my socials or watched me on Twitch, double thank you! I’ll be going live again soon! 😍

Yesterday, Joy for Jan, a depression awareness group, ran by two ladies who lost their mother by suicide, also published a special video message I recorded for them, on their Instagram TV/ IGTV. It’s a little over 10 minutes long and talks about the misconception that you can just “snap out of depression”. Most of us have been guilty of thinking this or asking this of others. “Hey come on, cheer up, what do you have to be sad about?”. Well that’s the thing, there’s plenty to be sad about but it doesn’t require an event to make you depressed. Everything can be going great in your life and you or someone you know can still get depression.

Check out the special video message I made for them and check out their website and socials. If you prefer, they published the video on their Facebook page too. You can view that here.

They are an excellent support group for mental health awareness.

Follow them, listen to others, spread the word. Let’s help change the misconceptions regarding depression and mental illness.

We all know someone who is suffering from depression, or we’ve lost someone to suicide, or we suffer from depression ourselves.

You’re not crazy, you’re ill. That’s why it’s called a mental illness.

And often it takes rigorous response to treat depression. Depression is and can be TERMINAL.

The suicide rate continues to rise worldwide, not just among military and Veterans, but civilians as well. Have some compassion for yourself and for others.

Practice the art of forgiveness.

Sending light and love to those suffering from mental illness and to those who have lost someone to mental illness.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Full links:

Special IGTV video message: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CEFiBIbjecz/?igshid=duiz2hc2gk8z

JoyforJan on the web: https://www.facebook.com/226987451120353/posts/925654627920295

My official Twitch channel: http://www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Special IGTV video message

If you dig my blog, please consider showing your support through a small monthly membership on Patreon. If you prefer, you can also make a one-time donation here. Thank you.

I’m now on Twitch! Hit my channel at: www.twitch.tv/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

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Between Your Teeth

August 9th, 2020

Those lies lying between your teeth
Lingering among our feet
Like the desperation you seek
Hopeless in the street
At what hour does forgiveness greet
Do our eyes meet?

Tell me the art of affection
Written any direction
A lethal injection
I need your objection
A bridge for connection
A poor life in question

Answer truth do not befool
Life is cruel
So bend a rule
Love this jewel
Keep hands cool
Reserve your fuel

Under trust a sleeping serpent
Midnight hermit
Mourning servant
Lessons learn it
Longing urgent
Fever current

© Delia Ross. 2020

If only I were between your teeth / beneath your feet / instead of those lies

If you dig my creativity and would like to make a donation, you can via my PayPal here: https://www.paypal.me/deliaross

For exclusive poetry and spoken word, check out my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

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Visit Me At The Cemetery

June 8th, 2020

Will you visit me at the cemetery
Will you sleep outside the gates?
And when you’re feeling wary
Will you tell me about the aches?

Will you make my tomb a sanctuary
Will you forgive my mistakes?
And if you ever marry
Will you still have what it takes?

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, please join my Patreon so I can keep writing: https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

The lines on my face hold so many stories

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Debts

April 14th, 2020

Been lost in a quarantine daze
Been circling these halls like a maze
Reaching for forgiveness but there’s been delays
Blood and tears the only currency that pays

When will I be released from his prison
When will all be forgiven
When will eyes see a life worth living
When will the stars again be risen

Wondering when my debts to him will all be paid
Reason only comes at the tips of blades
But he was there when I needed aid
Tell me how much a hero really weighs

When will the invisible no longer be hidden
Is there ever a time the truth is written
Will there ever be a day he finally listens
When will his anger be out of commission

© Delia Ross. 2020

I would give my life for him. My knight. Indebted forever. Loves.

I love the wonderful feedback about my poetry, that’s why I’m now on Patreon which is an excellent platform for writers and artist. Can you help me reach my goal?
www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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Angel’s Dust

March 2nd, 2020

Sorry for the disturbance
I rub over like iron rust
A thick layer of heavy crust
Right over the heart if you must
These broken wings are angel’s dust

© Delia Ross. 2020

Sorry’s come with sorrow (Self cicra 2019)

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (Big love to my patrons who are keeping this blog going): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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Innocence

February 24th, 2020

If you enjoy reading my poetry, support me on Patreon! I’m running a special offer for joining until 3/31! ❤️ http://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Have you ever tasted sweet innocence
Rolling in like soft thunder and how it gently nurtures sorrow
Nothing taste sweeter than forgiveness and redemption from her hands
The way the rain pitter patters it’s like her feet dancing in your soul
Those are tears of laughter now
The sky claps
She’s not a prison, she’s freedom
Your tongue was dry but now it’s wet
Your life was a desert but now it’s an ocean full of life
She has given you paradise in hell
Taste her

Photo taken by me somewhere off the coast of Ireland, circa December 2015. I stopped driving in Ireland to get out and snap this photo of a boat stuck in low tide, with a rainbow appearing over it. Perceptions are everything. How we respond to our environment is everything. Poem is new, photo is not. Still learning life lessons. Thank you Ireland.

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support my blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (thank you Patrons!!!): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

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An Apology For My Apologies

February 4th, 2020

I’m not proud of the things I have done
Dropping verse like a hit and run
Settling scores by the inch of my tongue
Belittling others cuz they’re having more fun

I’m not proud of calling them names
Dousing the fuel, igniting the flames
Keeping him down and shackled in chains
Changing the rules without knowing the games

With tiny feet I trample the heavens
But take regrets and multiply by seven
I caused you pain and my mouth was my weapon
I made you cry in multiple sessions

I am sorry I pushed you all away
For the trouble I caused and the endless heartache
For the knife I inserted with every mistake
For tossing stones instead of embrace

I don’t expect you to forgive me
I just want you to know it made me feel empty
And that pound of weight has turned into twenty
And heavier now is this ink that is leaking

I need you to know I feel humiliated
And maybe this apology has been long-awaited?
Maybe none of us are where we are fated?
Maybe tomorrow our hands are less weighted?

My door is always open and you are welcome here
Coming together is what I wanted, not to disappear
I’ve been looking for forgiveness and checking in my rear
And I’m hoping maybe silence is more than you all can endear

© Delia Ross. 2020

So, I’m sorry. It may not mean much. It may not help at all. But, I am completely humiliated by my actions and accusations of other bloggers, and even the comments I have left here or on Instagram. Please forgive me if you can. My head and heart really were confused, and my actions did not match my character. My behavior is\was deplorable. I’m sorry I hurt you.

Regrets eek (self circa 2019)

If you dig my writing, please show your support for my blog and help keep it running and advert free by subscribing to my Patreon (I have 2 VIP tiers & 6 Patrons currently *squee*): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

Keep up with me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/poeeternal/

I follow back on Twitter and you can follow me here: https://www.twitter.com/poeeternal

Listen to me on Tuners Radio under my pen POEETERNAL at: https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL

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Paper Cuts

January 15th, 2020

Words needing mailing
Written pages full of failing
Ink filled with non-stop wailing

Paper cuts and agony
The worst of him is the worst of me
Another year and there’s still longing

Silence and solitude
My point of view
Not over you

Where on the page do I write the amends?
And where does one stop and the other begin?
Who takes the step to be a kinder friend?

I take my dreams on up the river
I sleep on the promise of forever
This is the final chapter

Wake me when you’re ready (x3)

© Delia Ross. 2020

If you dig my writing, you can support this blog by subscribing to my Patreon here (sign-up is quick & easy): https://www.patreon.com/poeeternal

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35K Oh My!

December 13th, 2019

Sometime in January of this year I realized my blog was at 5k and it struck a fire in me to start writing more. I figured it would take until the end of the year to even reach 10K but that was my new goal for the year. Writing is therapeutic for me and so I started nurturing my blog by writing more, and nearly on a daily basis this entire year. I kept writing because you kept reading. And here we are now and my blog is a few hundred hits away from 35,000 worldwide views. Incredible. Having 10K visits to my blog is such an achievement for me and for someone who writes poetry which is a hard field to get noticed in. Just ask Edgar Allan Poe. I am grateful for my readers. I can’t make any promises on what 2020 will bring, but I can say you made my 2019 very fulfilling. And even though there have been a few bumps along the way, I hope to go into 2020 with an open heart. And so if I have wronged you, I ask for your forgiveness. And if you have wronged me, I forgive you. Happy holidays and Friday the 13th and last Full Moon of the year. Sending you positive energy, and good vibes along the wire. I love all of yous.

Friday the 13th means pizza, chips, soda and free movie on Vudu kind of day…

But it’s also a full moon and I feel like dancing…

Which I’m definitely going to need to do after eating a large cheese pizza, no judgment

xoxo

I hope there are no hard feelings, I am learning to “let go”.

“My enemies are turning into my teachers”

All my love, always xxx

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The Way Forward

December 12th, 2019

The way forward is forgiveness not revenge
The way to forgiveness takes walking on your feet
To stir stagnant waters growing underneath
You need truth in your amends

Stuck in the rut so now you build a trench
But nothing in your life you ever do enrich
What is behind the mask that you defend
A worthless man (whom none can depend)

An end to the suffering and all you demise
The pain you inflict with only blue eyes
So quick on the tongue to startle and avenge
There’s no safety in pretends

The love now cold where once was a furnace
A love so sure now not so certain
Just another sheeple behind a dirty curtain
Well, you’re just like the others who never grow from learning

Negative energy you build like a wall
Fire the gun but then you stall
Say you can love but you haven’t at all
Maybe you’re standing but you’re not very tall

The way forward is forgiveness not revenge
And maybe if you ask you’ll get it in the end
So stop building your defense
There are many you need to transcend

© Delia Ross. 2019

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That Girl

December 7th, 2019

Back to where I started
Love evacuates for the broken hearted
Now assembling all the shattered pieces
Fuck forgiveness, I have a grievance

Hopeful is the day I’m laying in a plot
Worry is the love now tangled in a knot
Forgiveness is a treat and I never have that much
Love is the answer but you’ve clearly lost your touch

Rewind, fast forward, start again
All I wanted was a friend
I found myself within your world
I guess I’ll always be that girl…

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Cocoon

December 7th, 2019

“Fall back! Retreat!”
My tongue is on repeat
My heart isn’t listening
It has burrowed in your sleep

“Take cover, find shelter!”
But I can handle most any weather
A simple dweller
Under a star so stellar

You can bury me but love you cannot remove
Is there anything else left to prove?
We all have lives we need to improve
My forgiveness is on the move

Clawing out of my silken cocoon
Growing over the words that you croon
Hoping for chance but loving too soon
I’ll never get over you…

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Charcoal

November 18th, 2019

Mistakes come and mistakes go
But love is threaded in the soul
You can cling to hate like a black hole
But it’ll leave you feeling less than whole
You can drop the rope and lose control
Or turn your heart black like charcoal

© Delia Ross. 2019

Forgiveness, yo… Free yer mind, give love, more love

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In Bloom

November 5th, 2019

But then one day the tide returned with his love
The sun rose
The birds sang
The flowers bloomed
The leaves danced
All was anew

© Delia Ross. 2019

I can feel the blood flowing through my veins again…

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Love Beats On

October 25th, 2019

“Stop! What are you doing?”, he demanded an answer holding a look of shock
Her face stained with black mascara and fear so thick she could hardly talk
He kneeled down beside her, their eyes in a gridlock
“I’ve learned you are the one and now it’s time to walk the walk”
Lips connected and fate started their heart clock

Love beats on…

© Delia Ross. 2019

A sad beginning with a happy ending. The middle is now. Unwritten.

Sad angel (selfie)

Teach me that I’m worth more than my mistakes (selfie)

I think people should be worth more than their mistakes (selfie)

Don’t you? (Selfie, no filter)

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Bad Feathers

October 24th, 2019

Her wings wrought from sorrow, stained with regret
And if there’s any forgiveness, he hasn’t given it yet
If love had a mirror it would reflect his spirit
If any hand were worthy, his has merit

She wraps her wing around his heart
She prays it helps the pain depart
It is not a solution but it is a start
Even angels are known to break apart

She awaits quietly in silent prayer
As she tends his heart from its despair
There is no love that can compare
She plucks out bad feathers showing wear and tear

She shuts her eyes and makes a wish
She simmers any flames of anguish
So love may again feel its warmest
Where for him it was found coldest

© Delia Ross. 2019

I’d remove every feather if it meant never hurting you again.

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Graveyard

October 23rd, 2019

This maze is full of tears where souls are mostly scarred
From dust til dawn they roam leaving sorrows for regard
Plastic and dead flowers cover most of the yard
Everywhere I turn a zombie roams this graveyard

The living dying are making final rounds
Somewhere in the distance, crying are the sounds
Sooner or later, death will come and visit the towns
Fear of the certain drag the feet with added pounds

Regrets are heavy lingering over this tomb
And forgiveness is on the tongue, I hope it visits soon
Time is of the essence and the Moon is filled with gloom
There’s a place for heaven, but it’s missing from this room

© Delia Ross. 2019

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I’m Sorry

October 16th, 2019

I don’t know how to say I’m sorry again
I know coming and going seems to be a trend
I really hope forgiveness isn’t a dead end
I really hope for me your hand will still extend

Like towering clouds of doom
Your absence fell over my wound
Huge swells of sorrow circle my room
I hope to hear from you again soon

© Delia Ross. 2019

I really am sorry 😵

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Grudges

October 16th, 2019

You can change it but then nothing changes except maybe faces if you live through the ages

You can hold grudges but then nothing’s worth shutting out the love she gives when it’s mixed with your ashes

She took all that skin you hid and she turned it into crosses

She prayed for the things that you did and turned it into magic

She drew a bridge over the sorrow and a tunnel through despair to bring you a brighter tomorrow

And though you gave her wings piercing sharp edges

She cut through your night and exposed a boy who’d gone missing

She tiptoed delicately and softly into your heart

Once inside she carved her name into your soul

And it ticks like a chime

And connects to her rhyme

And she’s with you all the time

And now you dream again

And hope is a sun

And day is a chance

And tomorrow is forgiven

For what crime is living

If you can’t have her around

Are you really going to be the stone that takes her down?

How many have you thrown at her now?

Do you line her mistakes up in a formation?

When she crumbles do you feel the vibration?

Does it give you a lot of appreciation?

When she falls do you feel a better man?

She put a dream in your hand

She made you feel something again

And now you wish her to be a better friend?

© Delia Ross. 2019

I just think people’s mistakes aren’t as bad as people make them out to be. Sometimes the innocent fall. Especially when faced with burdens and dilemmas (and often revelations). But the guilty will be the first to cast the stones. History has proved this time and time again… I had things I needed off my chest. I wasn’t going to do a rhyme and then I was and then I wasn’t and that seems to be the flow of the poem. It is what it is…

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Beginnings in Endings

October 8th, 2019

Beginnings in endings
Soft steps of destiny
Like pillows for the needing
Love letters for the mending
Like lovers when they’re healing
When time is for the stealing

Your kiss is the life I missed
Your kiss will stop the apocalypse
When love is like an eclipse
When doubts are in the abyss
When safety it is this
When silence are my lips

Home is your kingdom in my heart
When worlds come together, not apart
When my hand is your start
Where your step is the best part
Your existence my art
Where my love will never depart

© Delia Ross. 2019

I write these words for you, they are yours, as is my heart.

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Webs

October 5th, 2019

He takes my mistakes and spins it like thread; And out from the web the finest dread

He takes my regret and puts it in the fire; And out of the pit come my worst desire

He takes my shame and puts it on his feet; And next thing you know he’s down the street

He takes my love and puts it on his mantle; Then he swears protection on his broken angel

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Percentages

October 1st, 2019

Atone? She scoffed, her wings curled in and the tips had frost

And then from the distance and frigid past, a noise of an entry, he returned at last

And the shockwaves and ripples, commenced, standing on emptiness

She sighed, “what did you forget”?

“…that I’m in, one hundred percent”, he replied

© Delia Ross. 2019

I don’t really know what to call this thing but it was just something I was feeling cuz feelings happen in the now…

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Angel Falls

September 17th, 2019

Maybe my regret is a thorn in a rose
Or maybe second chance is the hand that he shows
Down here in his chambers, are the darkest meadows
And where we both are heading, only he knows

I will spiral downward, until he breaks my resolve
The further from ascension, the more that we evolve
When pressured for a reason, the question goes unsolved
Leave guessing in the season, where doubt cannot unthaw

Though careful we are treading, through the meddling, of never giving up
And heavy was the worry where our picture could not develop
And leaning on our shoulder was the ear of the devil
And facing in the mirror was an angel who fell from heaven

With eyes that burn for him with loyalty
Though she’ll never know it, his heart is her property
Both married to the darkness as if it’s the only deity
Yet somewhere in the fall, she had found her divinity

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Mercy

July 20th, 2019

I have been living in the shadows of the unworthy
I have been skipping in the streets of doubt

I gave a lot of hell to reason
I took a detour on the wrong route

My hands became bloodthirsty
After my tongue experienced drought

I lost the better meaning
Building bridges with no way out

I’d welcome his friends any season
Because mercy was made not to shout

© Delia Ross. 2019

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Give And Receive

June 19th, 2019

Give me sin, give me repentance
Whatever your secrets, put them in a pendant
If I falter, hand me my sentence
Will slow crawl to you and ask for forgiveness
Forget the past and live in the present
Live each moment like the world is ending
Let each breath be one that is healing
Kiss me and give me wings for ascending
Promise me you’ll give me arms for defending
I’ll give you as much love you need for your mending

© Delia Ross. 2019

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24-hour Shift

June 16th, 2019

How do you forget something once you know it exists
How do you put the blade to your own wrist
How do you cross a soul off of your list
How do you explain chaos needs a misfit
How do you find light when the sun’s never lit
How can a stranger leave such an imprint
What is it about me you don’t want to risk
How much more pain are you going to inflict
I’m chained to a cross and your actions afflict
My heart is still buried inside your dark crypt
I know I was wrong and deserve to be whipped
But I’ve never experienced anything like this
If there are rules please hand me a script
Do you forgive me for being such quick lipped
I’d crawl unto you and beg to be kissed
My love is on a 24-hour eternal shift

© Delia Ross. 2019

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