Let’s just hope the world is better prepared with eyes to see
If my only mission is to expose the truth
I will die by my honor
And accusing Michael Leavitt of murder
He should be hung in the streets and then sliced open from the balls
Let gravity do its thang
Or, make him crawl in that fucking hole and hang with his bones
And for the love of God since nearly a decade or more has passed can someone please take a robot in there and retrieve his fucking body and put it in a proper burial ground
For the love of god please
I would crawl in the hole and do it myself but I experienced firsthand claustrophobia when I had to go in for my MRI
And they had to leave the little light on for me
Because I’m 2 and afraid of the dark
And confined spaces
And gaslighting
👀
And I’m dying
I’m not being melodramatic
But I’m trying to live
It’s painful
Just to breathe
But I had to get this off my chest please
I still didn’t even say or do what I needed/wanted
It’s just, that thing you said
Made me cry 👀
I know everything makes me cry
But sometimes the tears feel worthy
And I allow gravity to let them fall
But it also relieved some pressure built up in the chest
Because I haven’t stopped thinking about the way John Jones died or researching every goddamn thing about it
Like, I need to go to Utah and crawl in that hole and pull him out
“I can’t believe this is the land from which I came” 👀
Oh MJ…
My hero and my first crush
I’m awake with you
And nearly dead
👀
I watched a conference where Michael Jackson was talking about how he wrote this song and that it was about the illuminati and how they don’t really care about us…
Do you know how light travels at light-speeds? That’s how fast I travel to your galaxy. Whatever your wants, whatever your needs. My heart will see that it proceeds.
Look at how it parts The Red Sea Still you ask if we love thee Look at how the Earth is splitting We have taken a knee Look at how the clouds hover me Galaxies glowing from envy
Below contains maybe trigger warnings so read at your own discretion. I have the ability to offend. One of my superpowers!
Sidenote: my dad died last month, and while I may seem actively posting, I’m kinda falling apart behind-the-scenes. I’m not taking too keenly the demands of my time, I’m still pushing people away, suicidal, and out of fucks to give. It’s just an FYI. I’ve no mind to socialize. I’m an introvert. I dig my privacy. I’ve always been an elusive creature. And picky with how I share my time. The narcissist is abundant and will drain me dry. It’s nothing personal, just how I be. You’ll notice how I don’t have a contact page. And now I don’t like leaving comments on other bloggers stuff because my email gets disclosed and I start receiving unwanted emails. This just recently happened where another blogger was acting super obsessive of me and my time and emailing me nearly on the daily (and was going on and on about how into me he was- but he doesn’t support any of my campaigns). I had to set him straight. I guess I should feel bad for sending demons back to hell but I’m dead inside. 👍👍
You will likely hear other bloggers call me a “bitch” for being indifferent to their narcissistic tools of manipulation…. M’kay keep moving. I know my worth.
I am a Vampiress. Queen of the Undead. And I bite.
*muwahahahahaha*
And y’all thought I was joking when I told you the devil has me on speed dial for advice. Tsk tsk.
In other news, I have packages in delivery, but due to covid, may not arrive til next year. Welp. I’m being sarcastic. They should have already arrived but they’re kind of in limbo. I’ve been planning a vampire cosplay shoot. Like, we may get to Mars before that happens. Again, sarcasm. But it’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like I’m planning to do and I’ve planned to do it during a fucking pandemic. Not the best timing I admit. But 2021 already feels like deja vu. Or just 2020 2.0.
I feel like I’ve been here before even though I haven’t. I feel aloof. Have I really died? Heaven feels kind of empty.
Is there like a hug from Gavin Rossdale at the end of the tunnel/light? I need hugs. Welp.
Not in love with the guy, just been obsessed with him since the 90s, my second crush, no big deal. It’s just when he sees me at his shows he showers me with all sorts of love and sometimes his guitar pick or sweat. I act all sorts of stewpids around him. Cursed him accidentally in Miami once but the next day I got a tweet by him that it was great to see me. Got all kinds of mems with my king but man I didn’t get to go to one show in 2020 which means I didn’t get one fucking hug from my king. Welp.
There aren’t many bands in the alternative scene that are still putting out music that I like or many of them have already died but Bush remain a huge inspiration for me musically. Dig his films too. Gavin Rossdale’s role in “Constantine” with Keanu Reeves was fucking amazing. Gav has done lots of film stuff but he’s not fond of the long hours, itchy makeups, TV, or being away from his fams. KING.
I miss gigging so much. Gah. I’ve seen Bush in several different states and cities now. But it’s to the point I’m ready to save up some money to see them in the UK. Only the pandemic as a barricade. Welp.
Gav giving me his Superman poses! Uhm, his abs are rock hards. Couldn’t stop the feels. 😍Birthday gig August 2019. Seems another life ago!! 😭😍😭
The Bush Army hate me but the leader likes me coming to his shows. 😍
If I ever get the chance to meet him again I hope I can act normal. I literally start screaming when he comes near me okay I fucking scream. Like a little girl. How fucking cute. But then I start dropping shit or I’ll cuss him out or I’ll forget like basic introductions. Welp. My brain just dumps loads of chemicals when I’m around him and I go fucking haywire. It’s ridic.
I do have loads of band photography from a lot of bands that I’ve seen because photography is a passion of mine and maybe one day I’ll start sharing that here on my blog.
When I love a band I love a band obsessively and wholly. Pink Floyd has been my number uno since the age of 8. I’d piss myself if I ever met David Gilmour. Maybe keel over and die of happiness too. Welp.
This poem IS NOT about my king. I do not long for him in such ways. I couldn’t sleep and it’s now almost 2 a.m. and I needed someone to talk to. Kinda. The quiet hours are my favorite time to write. Or just be. You also have to be extremely careful of serial killers and rapists but you know. I have 15 years of army training as a reminder. I am a trained killer. But also, I don’t really think killers like killing suicidal people cuz we just be like “yeah come on give it to me, where yah been my whole life” 😍…
So what’s the pandemic like at your neck of the woods? I’m going stir crazy if yah can’t tell. And Florida feels like 1 degree. I can’t even step outside it feels like Antarctica. I need my cold weather gear to take my dog for a piss. I can’t deals.
I always find it so strange that the absence of light means coldness. Death. I don’t want anybody touching my cold fucking leather after I die. I’m starting to have these weird fucking ideas about my body when I die.
It’s weird seeking death and immortality at the same time but I’m a strange one.
Ideally, I would like to donate my entire body to an organization that would like to freeze me and bring me back via clone or some sort of digital format. I don’t really want to donate my body to science so some students can cut me up and squirt my blood all over each other laughing, no thanks.
Or that asshole in the morgue who doesn’t know how to handle my hair.
Yes, I worry about my body after death. Why? I know not.
Necrophiliac’s? Eek. I have trouble fucking things that ARE alive.
Sometimes the dead are more alive tho. And better company.
I delivered my heart to you On sunbeams traveling under moonlight Perched like stars in the night My soul broody from day I called to you in raging storms and hurricanes I left clawmarks all along your names Softly with the flutter of a firefly Flickering in your dreams I came like a herd and with thunder Tiny feet to pull you under I crawled through windswept deserts Sleeping under doom I risked all to bring holiness to you Like a lone desert flower filled with hope And all the comfort you can evoke I came with tidal waves Gushing from love A tsunami rushing for your word The way heaven is mimicked with your verb And galaxies crumbling under your voice As if we had any choice
Really sorry about the previous post deletion. Twice I’ve inadvertently published something simply by opening up the WP app. Had a proper meltdown too.
Anyhoo, this was freshly written before the meltdown. Freestyle ‘after midnight’ poetry.
exposed to you in naked lines I draw from worlds I’ve not made real save for the cosmos of my rhymes a universe of verse revealed read each word on tender lips that they find life beyond this mind the ink-stains on my fingertips made flesh and blood for you to find let each sound […]
First off, if you haven’t seen the film High Life, you should. I had a love-hate relationship with it when I watched it a few months ago, but it was one of those movies I had to watch again and again. And the end credit song sung by actor Robert Pattinson is sublime. I think it’s safe for you to at least listen to the song if you haven’t seen the film (or ever want to).
That movie is so bizarre I really don’t think the song will give anything away. Since the lyrics were freestyle, I wrote my poem freestyle as well. Can’t escape the rhyme tho. Welp.
When writing my version, I tried to keep with the same theme of the film for the most part. I’m big into sci-fi. 👍
You can watch/listen to the original theatrical song sung by Pattinson here.
So, my prompt was the film and music. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like this before (prompts). But I’ve wanted to. So alas, my version… 👇
Willow, where are you rushing now? Willow, where are you rushing now?
Over broken glass, through the blasphemy, Do you follow it downstream? What’s reality?
Willow, do you feel no pain? Willow, are you still hiding shame?
In the hollow light, past infinity, do you think of me?
Willow, are you stretching my dream? Willow, am I what I seem?
When I’ve lost defense, and there’s hopelessness, is there nothing real? Are we moving still? Is there destiny?
Willow, how can you stand the night? Willow, can you feel what’s right?
Completely inspired by the song “Willow” from the film ‘High Life’.
Photo by @poeeternal (I went to the beach yesterday, gonna be dropping some beautiful photography on my Patreon campaign – photography my patrons can use for their own blogs and projects). Grateful for my patrons!
This is where our world’s collide You the sun and I the tide This is why we fail goodbye You the earth and I its bride This is why fate complied I took root in your sky This is how heaven sighed
You’ve got a scowl that drains the mood out of a moon Still the stars will wander, hoping to see you soon You’ve got a hundred million ways, to make the clouds swoon You exhale and turn continents into doom
…it’s a day of hauntings and heartbreak and loss, and maybe just missing things that you never had (but were close enough to hold on and never let go)… …the theme of the poems I’ve been reading on people’s blogs seem to reflect this ‘strange day’ mood…
How is it you fell into my heart without any warning? Like the lightning swiftly coming And maybe from Venus thus forming Color in my eye, an overflow of becoming The words you write like winter mourning Turning me into jewels you’re still adorning Our flame is burning For you I’m yearning I’m fully forming
Guys, this is me playing my own guitar and reciting poetry. I can do both! I’m terrible at both!! But I do promise to bring you some more real guitar playing with my spoken word in the future!!! I need a band so I can focus on performing the vocals for you- which is why I use GarageBand – because it’s terribly hard to play the guitar and to perform at the same time, at least for me! I hear you, you say ‘practice practice practice’ but then stage fright kicks in and let me just say it’s easier if I can just focus on performing! I also took Drama 1 and 2 in High School, have done minor acting roles, I dig improv so much, but I don’t know if I could ever do it like Jim Morrison did it. He had stage fright too. Which is why sometimes he would close his eyes or turn around. “Turn the fucking lights down” (because he didn’t want to see his audience).
I LOVE GUITAR. My depression and health issues keep me from playing (I won’t tell you how old I am, but somewhere like 420 years aged). My bones hurt everywhere. 🙂
If I can keep the support rolling in, I’m ready to move into making spoken word video. Everything I do is time consuming and you don’t see the creation process.
Anyway, I recorded this little piece for my muse last year, I probably haven’t improved much in the guitar area. I do not record from my squeaky chair though and this was live from my squeaky chair and recorded from my crappy cellphone. 🙂
I’ve been songwriting a lot lately though which means I need my hands on my guitar. 🙂
Photo from this morning – check out my new spoken word!
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No one makes me smile the way he makes me smile – not by a mile The way he wears me with his eyes, if only you had his style Months go by without a word like we’re living in exile And then word the king is coming and we’re lining up single-file
I got a “like” by Bush on this Instagram post of this poem I wrote and digiart of Gavin Rossdale I made!! (see post below) *squee* (it is definitely squee worthy for one of my favorite artist to like a poem I wrote about him, I will take the love in any form or fashion he gives me!!!)
So, *tries to breathe* some of you may know I’m obsessed with Gavin Rossdale and Bush, I literally wait for hours in all weather just to get front row for his band… I drive for hours, I wait in long lines for hours (I’m usually front of line, so get to venues extremely early, after driving for hours to get to said venue- although a couple gigs have been nearby!) Anyhoo, I am full-on, fangirl. And when he’s around me, I literally do stupid shit. I forget basic greetings. I drop shit. Sometimes I curse him. Last year I decided to skip hugging him when he reached out to hug me, and hugged Chris the guitar player instead. In my mind, I guess ‘save the best for last’ but in reality, STEWPIDS. He stills loves me despite me erratic behavior, he actually touched my pants and said, “I love your pants” (they were Kat Von D leggins). Everything is a bit fuzzy afterwards. But every time I meet him I get like, fuzzy. There are many stories, but I won’t get through them all.
6 days ago Bush performed a free live gig, for the launch of Fantracks, a cool interactive stage where you can see bands perform! Seeing as gigs have come to a complete halt in reality, a live stream is the next-best-thing! Of course I tuned in for the Bush performance. But, a couple days prior to the event, a Tweet came in very late in the day, to send in video questions via email, so I quickly put together a 19 second video, but almost gave up emailing it, because the file was too big to send email even at 19 seconds. So naturally, I had to reduce the file size, without reducing the quality, and in the end, tossing it in my Instagram story creator tool, and saving it without actually sharing it, worked better than anything else I could do! Eventually got it emailed, but nearly gave up until I tried the Insta thing! I didn’t think my question would get selected, Bush just dropped a new album, I figured they’d answer those sorts of questions by fans!
Apparently some 125,000 people tuned in for the launch of Fantracks with Bush performing!! I was watching it livestream free, but it’s now available on Video-on-Demand (VOD) for like $1.99 I think. So if you want to see the preshow, the gig, and the aftershow stuff, it’s worth getting!! You’ll get to see the entire show, plus see my fan question!! Anyway, I shared just the Q&A with Gav and me on my Instagram IGTV, and Youtube (see video below)! It’s been an exciting few days!! Are you a Bush fan? Are you into gigging as much as me? Are there any bands you worship? Music is what I am living for. And poetry. =)
Watch my fan question to Gavin Rossdale below!! A YouTube version is also below! This is only my section with Gavin, he answered two other fan questions as well! Mine was question two he answered! So cool that my question was selected and answered!! I love Bush!!! *screams*
And my obsession with my king continues… =) I’m still riding this high!!!Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by Bush Screenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushScreenshots taken by me during the live stream performance by BushGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield – Screenshots taken by me during the aftershow Q&A
Self, Gavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&AGavin Rossdale and Matt Pinfield with my fan question – Screenshots taken by me during the after-show Q&A
P.S. I have more photos than what I’ve shared here. And honestly, I could make this entire blog post as long as a book! It feels good to have my tablet full of Bush photos again (even if only this livestream and Q&A)! This year has been a bust! BUT THIS MAKES ME HAPPIES. And I’m feeling some inspiration tickling in these cold veins again… =)
Please hit the like button if you enjoyed this post, or drop me a comment below! I love hearing from you (you do not need to be logged in or a WordPress member to leave comments)!!
Do you ever find my words enchanting?I’m late posting these…I’m still alive despite the pandemic growing in Florida…Invoke me with your words pleaseeee
Thank you patrons for supporting my dreams! I love you!!
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I saw him stargazing The way a painter stares at a blank canvas What wonders were revealed? Did he see me barefoot on my tippytoes reaching for his lips The way clouds summit a mountain? What hour caught him off guard What did he find? Fragments of my soul written for him in rhyme? Did he see us moving Like starlight in the sky?
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My love, I have moved galaxies to watch you walloping I have paused sunsets to feel your warmth I have stretched across reason to find you galloping Like a wild stallion to find my court
My love, why do you let doubt cloud the view? I would build apologies grander than heaven If it took the burden from you You are an 8th wonder times seven
My love, every night I rest my eyes on your dreams Do not chew on regret For you, my love spans galaxies Please don’t ever forget!
My love, why do you let the wind whisper doubt in your ear? You are a spiraling galaxy Love is in your atmosphere And it all comes from me
My love, my arms are branches of hope For you they grow So long they circle the globe They were made for you though
My love, the lines on my lips are edges of time And for you, always these lines Every crease nestles our rhyme Here lay the noble signs
So I’ve been on a tiny posting break (but not writing) and absolutely blown away at how many likes and comments my previous post garnered. Over 100 likes and 60 comments on my freestyle His Kingdom, thank you! 😍 My mom even left a comment, how do I top myself? I never wanted to post again and it is still receiving likes! I should just start a new blog and let it reign forever…. but I have other poems I really need to post. I have so much left to say before I die. If I get anything right in life it will be my death. My words can stay with you forever.
Destiny provided by the universe and my love for you ❤
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His failures are beautiful strokes of lightning The waterfall running A beautiful warning A star still forming A winter mourning
He falls like icebergs crumbling in the sea A white snowfall covering the trees The wind in the evening as you finally feel the breeze A moment of reckoning that brings you to your knees
He’s a rainbow in a world of darkness He’s a miracle unearthed when planting a harvest He’s the comfort you seek when you’ve traveled the farthest He’s a road to a path where the truth can be harnessed
He’s the bloom that comes with the Sun He’s the thread holding you from coming undone Like satin slipping off the thumb He’s the reason the war was won
She’s part lightning and part thunder She’s the muse to make you wonder She’s the open field you wander She’s the kiss to make you hunger
She’s the truth you seek but fear to face
And the purity you long to taste
She’s the hand that knows how to heal an ache
And she’d give it all if that’s what it takes
She’s the rainbow you see after a storm The energy of a star to help you keep warm She’s the honey and hive where the bees always swarm Yet you are the reason her smile can take form
Does it come wrapped as a pretty present Does it speak of hope that is always absent Does it appear full when it is a crescent There was light shining, but not where it was destined I still love you, if you ever stop guessing I’m sorry you are learning another difficult lesson
Your voice takes me to planets unknown to me Emotions are an endless sea Give me more to stay floating I need all of your energy Like a sun on fire it’s burning I spin and keep yearning Set my spirit free
I dids a thang! A little spoken word with guitar fingerpicking on my Epiphone acoustic (it’s free to listen on Tuners, no download needed). My fingers are raw and it barely cracks a minute! I have terrible stage fright so this is not easy to do.
He is the strength of a mountain with branches made of youth He is a gentle stream of power pouring kindness over you He has the eyes of a telescope and his focus is on truth He’s got the sky in his eye and the colors always blue
There he is my light shining through Just knowing he is there brightens my whole view And so I toss the curtains wide and give a smile or two I’m sending all my love down the wire straight to you
When you let some punks send you into hiding and then you return to the internet lands with zero followers
Yes, an official Tweet by Val Kilmer LOVING my pen!!! As a writer, win!!!!
So panic mode naturally because I thought I lost my king following me…
But my king and Bush still follow me!!!! 😍*remembers worth* “Be happy, it’s a choice”. A man of so few words but oh so wise If you don’t think Gavin has seen the worse of me, you’d be wrong. Birthday loves oh my effing god my king well he sees me yes he does, I exist, I exist!!!
This isn’t like our only interactions, I just remembered that his love is everything. I may be small on the totem pole but I’m on the fucking pole.
And I’ve got my Twitter followers coming in now saying they still have me so happy happy joy joy.
I dropped a 10-minute thread on Tuners about the importance of followers and likes (free app to listen and use, no download needed to listen): https://tuners.io/users/POEETERNAL
For my muse – there’s only ever been the one
He evokes poetry on the tongue
He puts words in my thumb
He makes the darkness go numb
He makes the daylight come
A visual walking masterpiece
He sees through the worst of me
He lives in a world I’ll never be able to cross into
A star so bright he can pierce through –
Any structure, any crack or dark avenue
He’s teaching me how to be human too
He suffers the way you and I do
I hate it but it’s true
An archangel of the highest order –
Though probably not a title he’d gladly hoarder
I see him in a different color
Where blackness is always duller
His mind is so expanse he’s more than genius
His message is love just like Jesus 🙂
He should be my life thesis 🙂
(Fuck, he’ll probably see this) 🙂
((I’m not trying to start a war I promise))
BUT I AM FUCKING GLAD FOR HIS EXISTENCE
Well, he’s perfect yes
Even when he’s not at his best
And so yeah, I love him more than all the rest
I’m sorry if that will put you to the test
I am not a threat
Respect, admiration, freelove
It’s a gift from above
(I am just a little dove)
And so I am thankful forever of..
“HAPPY LIKE A BROKEN RECORD” inspired by Alexander Ebert 1000% of the time (photo edits by me)
I live in a land of monsters and men
Signs paving the way for our sins
Highways of hell where the ends always end
Because I can never match her perfection
Wild and unfairing
Another world warm and caring
One less despairing
A womb for repairing
A cosmic tail stretching in dominion
Together, they form a new religion
Words without meaning or definition
It keeps both their spirals spinning
She who lives behind a camera lens
Who gets to peer his faded gems
An inspiration for the words he pens
The very route my soul can cleanse
Can a moment go uncaptured
Where not written in her chapter
His smile an awakening and the rapture
Both freedom and the captor
I find safety in his happiness
For this is how the world is meant
If only love were permanent
And shared with those less fortunate
I follow him like a shooting star into a valley of wishes
My hard exterior is now submissive
My heart wider and less constricted
I hope she is all he predicted
Life teaches us multiple lessons He has the magnitude of a million sessions Yet only one needs my confession Without a doubt, he is perfection
He knows not the sun rises with his waking eyes
His gems are the rarest element in the morning skies
His spirit is a dawning not meant for my demise
My heart is a space he fully occupies
He is the moment of reckoning when you’re lost on your own And when you haven’t any heaven but still worthy of a song He is the hand on your shoulder still guiding you home He is the voice of reason when you need to atone
He is a flower that blooms only in the midnight A garden for healing when you are not feeling right He is the voice for truth which shines very bright He is the inspiration for these words that I write
He checks in as a guest but he is really my muse
He has a skeleton key to break all of my rules
There are no answers here the test was written for fools
And he dances through life unaware who ridicules
He looks at me and I exist
I form curves
The air in my lungs thicker
Wings for floating
Thoughts are clearer
I see beauty
I feel as a cloud
Ethereal and living
Pain is forgiven
Depression isn’t winning
Reasons for breathing
I breathe in divinity
I taste love
Chats & hugs from my King Gavin Rossdale (from Bush) on my birthday THANK YOU UNI Blurry and I care nots!
PoeEternal 