I am not his
No no no
But I can pretend like this
Today we went for our first coffee
And as he sat next to me talking
I wondered if he saw a zombie
But then he leaned in and kissed me softly
He is not mine
No no no
But I still call him my valentine
His kiss takes me to cosmic landscapes
One ounce of his love opens the floodgates
One word of his rhyme and I can’t keep a straight face
One glance of his eyes takes me to outer space
© Delia Ross. 2019
Always faithful to the departed
So much fear we have guarded
How do we stop it
Dearly discarded
I know you’re not heartless
Don’t come at me halfhearted
At least finish what you started –
And I’ll weaken you where you hardened
I’ll show you what’s awarded
Once everything gets sorted
© Delia Ross. 2019
Maybe my regret is a thorn in a rose
Or maybe second chance is the hand that he shows
Down here in his chambers, are the darkest meadows
And where we both are heading, only he knows
I will spiral downward, until he breaks my resolve
The further from ascension, the more that we evolve
When pressured for a reason, the question goes unsolved
Leave guessing in the season, where doubt cannot unthaw
Though careful we are treading, through the meddling, of never giving up
And heavy was the worry where our picture could not develop
And leaning on our shoulder was the ear of the devil
And facing in the mirror was an angel who fell from heaven
With eyes that burn for him with loyalty
Though she’ll never know it, his heart is her property
Both married to the darkness as if it’s the only deity
Yet somewhere in the fall, she had found her divinity
© Delia Ross. 2019
His divine right of suffering
King of the weepings
Destroyer of the weaklings
Master of your feelings
Mirrors on the ceilings
Where doubts keep repeating
And devils roam these evenings
Angels bow for healings
Desperate for his feedings
Mercy stops the bleeding
Will follow where he’s fleeting
His darkness as a greeting
Doom is where he’s leading
Every day keeps repeating
Nothing stops the needing
Where love is now receding
Where I’ve lost my meaning
He’ll never stop my dreaming
An enemy to your pleading
Your crime for ever seeking
The secrets he ain’t leaking
His patience nearly peaking
His angel never speaking
Whatever keeps him grieving
He gives what he’s receiving
Though neither want for leaving
© Delia Ross. 2019
On a whim, had to go freestyle, so many feels…and therapeutic. ✌️
Sitting on the corner of depression avenue
I’ll wave with a smile when you pass by me too
I’ve been here awhile so I’ve got the right attitude
You’d think by my grin I had the winning suit
But underneath the cards there’s a truth I will never refute
And every part of me needs repaired, even the soles of my boot
How quickly by you flee on a journey I would love to commute
But I’ve got a darkness troubling me and I feel it, deep down in my root
And so I isolate the need that you bring on this road where I pollute
But your words have me jumping out of a plane without a parachute
And if you were to measure the love it would be absolute
xxxxxxxxsquaredtimesinfinity
© Delia Ross. 2019
He gnawed on my soul until all that was left was a core of longing. And the seeds within were filled with his haunting. And like an apple being pulled by his gravity, I kept falling. He will take bites without ever warning.
© Delia Ross. 2019
I wish it was this galaxy but his desire is far from me. Take my love and tie it to a tether, throw it in the eternal, because I’ll love you forever.
© Delia Ross. 2019
Taking the long journey alone
It was quite heavy lifting the stone
But alas it’s done and I’m on my own
And it’s so black, I have lost my home
Is this life or just a tomb
Is there no forgiveness for the things I do
Is there not a seat for me in this room
Is there any reason for the things I assume
Are my eyes open or are they closed
I thought I heard agreement so who opposed
Did the page turn or decompose
Why were the actual risk never disclosed
Is this pain based on reality
Why does it still hurt when I dream
Why do my eyes leak when I bleed
Why am I not anything they ever need
I know I’m not her and I never was
But if you’ll excuse me I need more gauze
It’s going to take a lot to cover the flaws
And every time I fall someone does applause
Every single hour I go through change
But when I turn around everything’s the same
I guess it’s not important to love the strange
And when it comes to me I don’t have a name
I still have love for him on the inside
I said I didn’t need him but I really lied
And there for a moment I felt alive
But it was just a trick of the night
Not even a demon could love this creature
My only goal was to make his life richer
But as it turns out I am just a creeper
And I’m not capable of giving him fever
Now I have this love and don’t know what to do
I thought I was a diamond or in his heart a jewel
I thought he was my knight, come to save me too
But when it comes to my life I had the wrong value
© Delia Ross. 2019
Ravage me with a hundred different kisses
Point your love at me so it never misses
Touch me, so I may grant your deepest wishes
Come on baby, give me all of your inches
© Delia Ross. 2019
I could run along the meadows where I’m wild and free
I could run into the ages until he’s tired of watching me
I can erase all the shadows where the light can never reach
I can remove all the lessons that he ever failed to teach
I should grow a tongue that has better speech
I would dance away the loneliness with every aching hour
I would step with hope and fill him with a love that gives him power
I will let him trample over me collecting each wildflower
I will let him pull the weeds from me that make me feel a coward
I am growing every second where I feel his light encounter
© Delia Ross. 2019
Oh dear gates of sorrow, pass me through!
I bow and give it all to you
My remorse is as full as the Moon
The way it shines, I shine for you too
Because your light still reaches truth
And when it comes to loving you
It can never be too soon
Oh my longing is as warm as the Sun!
And when it reaches me, I come undone
The way he teaches me, as if I’m the only one
And if ever facing regret, there isn’t none
And when it comes to life, you make me burn
And if I see your eyes, my own brighten
If you change your mind, I’m never done
© Delia Ross. 2019
He stands on the shore with an expression on his face resembling shame
It’s as if, by looking at me, I have the power to make him clean
The blue in his eyes faded, at precisely the moment, I withdrew
The hour came down so heavy, the moment that he knew
He stands as if his arms are holding all the pain
Or a brace, for the fall, it is certain after all
For I’m on a ship he never seems to reign
And I’m watching him with eyes that never strain
Looking back though, I never meant to blame
I feel my face harden, my cheeks a rosey garden, my tears now offer pardon
Because you brought my life its value
And as the waves start to accrue, just like my love for you, no matter what you do, so with a sigh or two, I slowly come unglue, because I’m not exactly sure what to do
And my only thought is how I need you too…
© Delia Ross. 2019
For him, I’ll never stop wishing on a star
And so I cling on, to every poem, as if it were his hand or his very kiss reaching from the dark
For you, I keep your rhyme in my mind like a dreamcatcher hanging to keep out the harm
And so I place them in the very center of my heart
For me, your words are my only creed
And so I place them in between my every heartbeat
For us, the moments are worth every dream
And so I rest my eyes, behind the sorrow and cries and convince myself it’s exactly what I need
For her, I pray she finds her own feet
And so I settle my rage and then remember my age and offer her some shelter from the sea
For all involved, it’s a treacherous land
And so I shine a light, and pass up the fights, and offer my best apology
But for only you, my longing never is through
And so my love expands every dimension and every galaxy
© Delia Ross. 2019
What things I must do to incur his wrath
What distances he slings me to see if I’m attached
And then he sticks around to see what wounds are hatched
He collects the pools of blood and in he takes a bath
What deeds have I done to make him pull the leather
I take a step back but still he shows his antler
I told him I was sick but that I’m seeing clearer weather
I told him I was sorry and I made it all in error
How costly are my ways when I feel him pushing me
Then he takes an arrow and he shoots me in my knee
Then he takes a word and will kiss it where it bleeds
He drops a bag of coins like Judas on the spree
I can never tell if he is being nice or sinister
Still I confess to him like he is my minister
And I don’t know why he wants me feeling this insecure
Or why he is the one guy who makes me feel so miniature
What sorrows come down when I do misbehave
I always act a child when I haven’t had my way
But he knows exactly what it is that I crave
And every button pushed makes me more of his slave
I guess my sins were plenty
For his love for me is empty
© Delia Ross. 2019
Sometimes he’s like a bull, he can only see the red
And he cannot form a thought, when it’s her that’s in his head
And he cannot figure out, how to remove the friend that’s in his bed
And I swear she’s so devout, she won’t give him any space to tred
© Delia Ross. 2019
I’m kinda sorta glad I’m just an unknown soldier
Some may know my name but not what’s on my shoulder
You may say you’re sorry but that won’t bring me closure
You may say you love me but your actions turn you over
I’m kind of sort of glad I’m only a warrior
In a sense, to you all, I am still a foreigner
I have spent months in boots where the stars were my chauffeur
And without a moment’s notice I could be back with her
I’m really sort of glad I only own my freedom
And though I may love him I don’t really need him
And it won’t cost me much to bandage where I’m bleeding
In fact, I can disappear, without needing a reason
Though many have asked I’m glad I never married
I guess the reasons why they always have varied
Those were the roads I never saw journeyed
That sort of thinking was long ago buried
I’m really sort of glad I can just disappear
With the flip of a switch I could be out of here!
You wouldn’t have an address or know if I was near
Your words would have no magic to lure me in here dear
I’m really sort of glad I don’t have many regrets
I made a couple dollars and I made a couple debts
I have never been divorced and I own all my assets
You may look at me as poor but I’m as good as it gets
I’m really sort of glad that I’ve got eyes where I can see
And when it comes to young girls you go in a frenzy
I never understood what you ever saw in me
I’m just an unknown soldier, broken at the knee
© Delia Ross. 2019
He says I’m just a game and poison with an anchor
He beats around the bush and never gives an answer
He claims I’m a fairytale or worse just a cancer
I never was his muse and I fill them both with laughter
So I do my best to ease the bruise and respond with some candor
© Delia Ross. 2019
What temples I will build for you to worship
A depth in me for you to go the furthest
With breath that repeats with innocence that it’s urgent
Permission always written in these verses
What skin I’d shed to allow for the unspoken
What thoughts I’d free to let in all your potion
What chains I’d climb to feel the moment hoping
That every mark from you breaks my soul open
© Delia Ross. 2019
Got his hand on my throat with every word
Got his squeeze on my pump with every hurt
Got his eye on the prize if ever I’m sure
And with the right ingredients just maybe a cure
Got his hand on the ready to offer comfort
Got my mind on the question though maybe he answered
She’s got her nose in the air as if she’s the expert
And she cries for his heart like a rich man now beggared
Got his tongue on the bottle so maybe it slurred
And my outrage is written though normally censored
But he claims that he loves me and I’m certain she heard
And so I do my best to not blind her with dirt
© Delia Ross. 2019
I reached walls of iron
And gates of steel
Where golden halos come to kneel
And curiosities are even higher
Forgiveness gets trapped in the mire
Underneath the waiting, a place a soul can heal
Games of dishonor are never part of the ordeal
Lying and mistrust burn with the pyre
Here outside his walls await desire
A soul reaching to feel
Where fantasy reaches the surreal
And love is the sole survivor
© Delia Ross. 2019
I live on an island of a dream
My joy is his trajectory
His eyes are the only skies I need
His love is the only fruit I eat
I taste him in seasons
I kiss him in the trillions
I lean on the shoulders of meaning
I cling to the shores of his breathing
I rest my plight in the palm of his hand
For his every touch is the promise land
And it’s finally a journey I can understand
For this is the mission fate had planned
And on and on and on we go together
Every step with you I’m feeling better
Every hug from you feels like my shelter
Hurting you is never in the weather
© Delia Ross. 2019
You have something of mine
I have something of yours
It is labeled shrine
And should stop the wars
It has a sign
With open doors
Windows bleed sunshine
Love through our corridors
With the will of the divine
We come with some broken floors
But we were made to align
Calm are the coming shores
It is the way we were designed
Gone are the hours of roars
When I fell out of line
Fate is written in our cores
And so my heart to you I resign
Your love is stored in my memoirs
You are my forever valentine
© Delia Ross. 2019
Watch me grow
As I go
Watch me flow
The current of reason
Denial is so last season
You’re down the landslide
I can’t be by your side
It’s where my love died
The moment you told lies
You’re not mysterious
You are a landslide
A soul without conscience
Dead end roads on a fault line
Using your sickness to capsize
Maybe a standup guy by sunrise
Then again, this is real life
And you’ve got that on standby
Or maybe it best if you just drink a load of cyanide
I came, I seen, I saw you fall
With the landslide
I can’t be by your side
That’s where my love died
The moment your eyes lied
You were disqualified
You’re not mysterious
Monsters are easily identified
You’re just a living carcass
No matter, no fuss!
© Delia Ross. 2019
He pushed me to lands that were unknown inside me
Mountains evolved from my limbs that were binding
Heart was renewed by the hand that was guiding
Tongue was replenished with warmth that was hiding
Vision was given to eyes that were unseen
Life had been missing since I was just a teen
Now as I stand with a purpose and a dream
Although just a peasant he treats me as a queen
© Delia Ross. 2019
I fell into your dark
And with your words I built an ark
I set sail within your art
I dropped an anchor near your heart
And so maybe the light can never outlast the night
Or maybe I was wrong and maybe you were right
If it’s all pretend baby just take away my sight
A dream is just a nightmare if we never do unite
A hundred years could pass and for you I’d still be achin’
If you thought I hated you I’m sorry you’re mistaken
The sign on my heart for you is always on and vacant
One kiss from you would be totally earth-shaking
© Delia Ross. 2019
Let me just write as I see
Without form, elegance or rule
Let me pass them over to you
A gift or curse, I know not anymore
They are not here to ridicule
But I kissed them all just so
That they might fill the sadness
And remove the space for madness
That you may find some light for you to grow
So from my soul I give you seed
It comes with all the things you need
And you won’t need to feel so insecure
This is our holy hour
Love for only you to devour
What other reason need there be?
I am there and you are here with me
So take the ache now from the lead
And spill with ink these words instead
(And make them last permanently)
I love you most so step back from the edge
And now is all the time we ever get
It’s best you come down from the ledge
And remove me from your pages of regret
Erase the wound, under the Moon
Remember that I’ll see you soon
I’ll be around when you want to resume
Our love is sheltered from doom
© Delia Ross. 2019
He speaks to me through his pen
He’s much better at it than I’ve ever been
I am so lost without him
Don’t wanna feel again
Don’t want love from other men
Just need answers of why and when
If I can’t be number 1, can I be ten?
Is there no place for me then?
© Delia Ross. 2019
Do you ever regret building my wall?
Do you ever feel anything at all?
Are you even aware of what you lost?
Can you feel the weight of its cost?
Are you proud of the pain you caused?
The red flags raised and lines you crossed?
The bridges burned, the lies you craft
Did you all, have a good laugh?
I gave you love, you fed me wrath
I still dwell in the aftermath
© Delia Ross. 2019
So I write a bit of poetry
Do you think that makes you know me?
Or from what I drop in my story
You’re an expert at the knowing
So you think that I’m messed up
Or that you have a better cup
You scream “now” and watch me jump
Then disappear after I get hurt
You think you know me all so well
Because I let you see my hell
You think you know what rings my bell
Or if I smile I’m feeling well
You think you have me figured out
Or what to do to make me shout
That I’m unholy or too devout
Or that you made me take this route
You think I’m warm when I am cold
Or it’s the only story told
You think it wrong when I am bold
You pay with lies instead of gold
You think I’m high when I am crying
You think I live while I am dying
You think my love is undermining
Or that I’m never really trying
You think I’m strong when I am weak
I’ve got it all so you think
I don’t deserve what I seek
And you hear words I never speak
© Delia Ross. 2019
I found his sadness then I made a home
I saw his sadness and it felt like my own
I found a place where it seemed I belong
I took his darkness and gave him a dawn
I shook the foundation where he wasn’t growing
It’s possible that he hates me for knowing
I gave him love and it keeps on flowing
I gave him gardens where life wasn’t showing
I saw his eyes and then I saw the light
Hidden underneath the fear of his night
Given away to the prayers I recite
To give him hope with each word that I write
I saw his shame and then extended my hand
I reached for miracles where it wasn’t my land
I extended patience where it failed to expand
He gives me meaning that I don’t understand
I’m just a girl who made his sadness my own
Now I fear I’ve been left all alone
I roam his lands of the infinite unknown
I’d fly away but my wings have been sewn
© Delia Ross. 2019
He moves me around like pieces of a chess board
A game he fully intends to win
He uses me like a pawn in a game of life
And he knows I will never quit
With his pen and with his will he continues to record
Every single squinch I make because he likes it when I sin
And deeper in he puts the knife
For I can never match his wit
For months his darkness I explored
I still feel him deep within
Many times I dropped the strife
And he still would not submit
I turn to rage when I’m ignored
Do you think it makes him grin?
I ask him not to be his wife
Just a friend I can commit
© Delia Ross. 2019
It looks like he picked her up from the bottom of the sea
Her flaming hair so course it could be used as a net
He says he’s free yet takes a knee
And kisses her like she’s Juliet
She sounds as though a broken record
And he licks her like a honeybee
Around her web he spins his chord
While she pretends that she is me
She acts as though she is reward
For someone less worthy
She’s not the only one adored
And she is far from holy
© Delia Ross. 2019
I love without consent
Real freedom as intent
True love as it’s meant
Never with resent
They see me without worth
Or maybe something worse
Yet still it’s love I birth
And free to all on Earth
I love without return
In peace and rarely scorn
A fire that will not burn
And every direction turned
© Delia Ross. 2019
There’s a road not divided
Or a boy undecided
With an ear to confide in
Conversation is two-sided
Where indecision isn’t final
And understanding always vital
No other girl for her to rival
And all she wants is less denial
She’s got a love like neon
A soul he can lean on
A home to finally belong
A good right for a bad wrong
© Delia Ross. 2019
Love kills the demon
You are the reason
It will never weaken
This is my beacon
Your love is an enigma
And deeper I keep reachin’
I can’t hide the stigma
And this is my signal
Here it is your big love
Or maybe your equal
In every season
The beginning, end, and sequel
Here it is your secret
Why haven’t you found it
What can’t you admit
My love is permanent
© Delia Ross. 2019
Higher than the mountains he is
Taller than New York
Deeper than the ocean he brings
A light to pave the dark
Round and round a spiral he springs
Making love his watermark
The road he paves was left for kings
As the spirit of the patriarch
Galaxies form from the words he sings
It’s a journey I will embark
He has the power to spread my wings
And he did it from the start
© Delia Ross. 2019
Floating easily
Clouds adrift with me
Moving freely
In his sea
The bells are ringing
The choir is singing
The Angels dreaming
All has meaning
The glowing from flowing
The growing from knowing
The joy for showing
His rivers I keep rowing
His songs are a breeze
And happy days are these
Smiling comes with ease
Laughter comes in threes
© Delia Ross. 2019
There it was I thought
But then again maybe not
It is tangled in a knot
A wound without a clot
And yet bigger that it got
It smelled of death and rot
He said he knew but he forgot
And neither cared to clean the spot
And while the witch did stir the pot
Along she came a wretched trot
And with her pen she took a shot
And I seek naught the thing she brought
© Delia Ross. 2019
HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE MY LOVE WENT *LAUGHS INSANELY*
I won’t be coming back from where I’ve been before
Walking over broken souls of the condemned
Offering forgiveness and guidance for all the things they did
Offering love and silence with an open door
But now my door is sealed
And my heart from you has shield
I removed the things you killed
And my love you will never wield
© Delia Ross. 2019
If you’re wondering where I went
Just look to where you are
Every hour spent
You can find me in your heart
The further you descent
The longer that I fall
But baby if we’re meant
I will answer when you call
© Delia Ross. 2019
I live in a land of monsters and men
Signs paving the way for our sins
Highways of hell where the ends always end
Because I can never match her perfection
Wild and unfairing
Another world warm and caring
One less despairing
A womb for repairing
A cosmic tail stretching in dominion
Together, they form a new religion
Words without meaning or definition
It keeps both their spirals spinning
She who lives behind a camera lens
Who gets to peer his faded gems
An inspiration for the words he pens
The very route my soul can cleanse
Can a moment go uncaptured
Where not written in her chapter
His smile an awakening and the rapture
Both freedom and the captor
I find safety in his happiness
For this is how the world is meant
If only love were permanent
And shared with those less fortunate
I follow him like a shooting star into a valley of wishes
My hard exterior is now submissive
My heart wider and less constricted
I hope she is all he predicted
Life teaches us multiple lessons
He has the magnitude of a million sessions
Yet only one needs my confession
Without a doubt, he is perfection
© Delia Ross. 2019
She’s perfect and he’s perfect and I am always just a spectator to love…
He knows not the sun rises with his waking eyes
His gems are the rarest element in the morning skies
His spirit is a dawning not meant for my demise
My heart is a space he fully occupies
He is the moment of reckoning when you’re lost on your own
And when you haven’t any heaven but still worthy of a song
He is the hand on your shoulder still guiding you home
He is the voice of reason when you need to atone
He is a flower that blooms only in the midnight
A garden for healing when you are not feeling right
He is the voice for truth which shines very bright
He is the inspiration for these words that I write
He checks in as a guest but he is really my muse
He has a skeleton key to break all of my rules
There are no answers here the test was written for fools
And he dances through life unaware who ridicules
© Delia Ross. 2019
I feel his smile like a dream I cannot recall
Or if I’ve ever even felt at all
For in his smile I am growing tall
In every instance I break down my wall
My step is softer and I touch with grace
And though I falter he still holds my place
And if I’m near he’ll slow down his pace
Months go by and he still knows my face
© Delia Ross. 2019
I did a reading of this on the app Tuners under my pen name POEETERNAL
I have this dream where we don’t talk
I’m in an alley having a cigarette
Waiting on a favorite band
And you appear
And I ask ‘what are you doing here’
But sweetly so no other can hear
There’s no one around just the rain
You stand and never explain
I smile anyway without regret
And you haven’t moved closer yet
And in a cloak your eyes are in pain
But I still smile anyway
I’m on the wall under a small balcony
Avoiding getting wet
Your hands are in your pockets
You don’t look as though upset
As the rain gets started
You move and take a step
And it kind of felt like lightening
My heart it felt it best
The patter of the rain –
Grew louder with every footstep
And every inch closer – I forgot more – of the alphabet
You get close to me and lightly touch my fingertips
And then you lift up my arm and take a puff of my cigarette
Your other hand still touching my other hand
You lift my head and kiss my lips
It’s hard to explain it
I thought I was alive but it was really the first thing I ever felt
© Delia Ross. 2019
Mountains of misery disappear
When he draws near
Happiness is a new frontier
Deserts are flooded into an ocean
There rising in the flood is my devotion
In every direction I feel emotion
Waves of joy as his magic potion
Softer now becomes the shore
A smile is always his best decor
He always leaves you wanting more
He fixes what is broken in your core
© Delia Ross. 2019
You sit there idle
With eyes that cut through the night
To your own doubt a disciple
Then you repeat the cycle
As if frightened or incapable
Without, dream or sight
A tongue now insatiable
But never one replaceable
You watch with eyes of glass
Through the crack hides your light
As the hours quickly pass
Your regrets grow with mass
In her silhouette forms a mirror
Of a Queen and a Knight
Where he can feel her nearer
And her words run clearer
She is a patient Queen
With eyes in the Moonlight
With every command he grows more clean
Whatever his direction is where she will lean
Her heart is a sword
And a Queen never quits a fight
She gives him love as a reward
To find her,he needs to move forward
© Delia Ross. 2019
Moments to cherish
Fractions of seconds
Blinks in a lifetime
Starry soul treasure
Residing forever
These moments together
As light as a feather
Your beautiful weather
You bring many pleasure
An endless presence
A holy reference
Made from the divine
And to joy a lifeline
To everyone the sunrise
To me the skyline
And inside every rhyme
Where love will never perish
© Delia Ross. 2019
Every now and then I see him
Like an eclipse in the sky, so rare
His eyes are an endless ocean to swim
And I feel him everywhere
His darkness shines so bright
Never filling me with fright
My love crashed him like a meteorite
And now the stars are filled with light
I feel him like a volcano
His poetry gave me my halo
Inside me swirls a tornado
My desire and love his credo
© Delia Ross. 2019
There exists a world where we communicate
It’s daily in my mind to help ease the ache
In prayer where I kneel for you and wait
While dreaming even though I am wide awake
There is a road where you and I always meet
I follow a meadow to Cosmic Street
There’s never an obstacle to worry our feet
Your kiss is the very reason my heart will beat
© Delia Ross. 2019
PoeEternal 